Embassy Restaurant in Connaught Place

Delhi Eats -  Chole Bhature or Bomb de Moscova?

Inundated with new cuisines, new restaurants and new foods? Then you need an antidote to the craziness of the Delhi food scene where new eateries crop up all the time. You need to take a walk back into time. You need to visit Embassy, around since 1948.

Haven’t heard of it?  Well, if you are a Delhite, you surely know it. It’s the ancient gastronomic heaven where you go to binge on food  that is delicious, is reasonably priced – and also invokes memories with each spoonful. After all, the restaurant has been around for six decades with its curious blend of dishes. Where else would you get Bomb de Moscova, Amritsari Macchi, Chicken Strognoff and unmatchable chole bhature and chicken chaat – all on the same table?

Times have indeed changed – the restaurant which sprouted up just after India’s independence and is still under original ownership, actually has a website with lovely black and white images of good old Connaught Place.  They write: “We at Embassy never felt the need to advertise; our clientele does that for us. We have known many of our patrons since they used to wear knickers and came here, holding their elders hand, for a plate of handmade ice-cream.”

The prose then gets a bit more poetic: “Embassy, the restaurant that stood on the sidewalk of time, while the city was frantically undergoing many a chisel. Yet the rich culture of Delhi reflects in every façade – be it our food preferences, preparations or presentation.”

As school kids growing up in Delhi, we just knew that Embassy meant a feast of good eats: a Sunday family lunch – and more rarely a Saturday night dinner – there was the highlight of the month  and an occasion to really pig out. The meals were so eclectic – a soothing cream of tomato soup could be followed by  sizzling chicken steaks or fried fish and chips.  Vegetable a la Kiev, Russian Salad, vegetable cutlets and Chicken Shashlik were some of the unique continental dishes I remember.

The Embassy, doorway to good eats

We ate family style and there was something to suit every taste. I’ve never eaten many of these dishes again – and certainly not from the same menu as tandoori chicken,  Kofta Nargis, Shami Kabab and other authentic Indian dishes.  We’d go on an eating binge and still manage to stop for a meetha paan outside Embassy. Paan in mouth, we’d browse the latest magazines at the nearby vendor’s display stand. Later  we’d go to the week’s new movie release at Plaza or Odeon…totally blissed out if it was a melodramatic Rajesh Khanna or Dharmendra starrer…

Back in Delhi I was amazed to learn the restaurant is still thriving in Connaught Place, and also has a catering business and a branch in Civil Lines. The décor is still nondescript, but the place is packed and the food is just as good as ever. This time we went with the vegetable seekh kebab, chicken do piazza, palak paneer and the famous chole bhature which taste as wickedly delicious as street food.  The accompanying bowl of pink pickled onions was still irresistible.

Some of the old favorites at Embassy Restaurant in Connaught Place, Delhi

The menu still retained many of the old dishes and I could see that was the draw for the large number of families there, each individual able to indulge in their favorite comfort foods. The snacks on the menu include some which probably are not easily found elsewhere: peanut chaat, mushroom on toast, cheese balls, mutton samosa, lamb brain pakora, and egg pakora. Pineapple raita, anyone?

After our finger-licking good meal, we tried one of the old treats – the famous Cream A la Embassy Pudding and then just to keep old traditions, we stopped outside the restaurant at the old paan stand for a mandatory meetha paan.  That burst of sweetness and flavor in the mouth was the finale to an evening of serious eating. Mission accomplished, we walked – er – waddled to the car.

(Photos: Lavina Melwani)

Searching for spirituality. Photo by H. Koppdelaney

Spirituality: The Test

Would you be willing to give up your life, your family and your name?  Would you renounce love, marriage and parenthood forever? Could you live with the prospect of never seeing your father and mother again?

Bhavesh Choksi, 27, has done exactly that.

This high-achieving young Indian-American, forsaking all, has taken ‘diksha’, monastic vows, and is on his way to becoming a swami in BAPS Swaminarayan Sanstha, a socio-spiritual Hindu organization.  For those of us still embroiled in the trappings of the material world, this decision can be wrenching. Breaking all ties with his past life and giving up even the smallest of luxuries, he is turning his back on what most people fight tooth and nail for. Bhavesh is following his dream, walking into a joyous light which most of us cannot even comprehend.  He is obtaining ‘moksha’ and guiding others to find it too.

Bhavesh’s Story…

In a sense, without knowing it, Bhavesh was probably walking toward this life-changing moment all his life. Born in a jeweler’s family in Kobe, Japan, he accompanied his father Bipin Choksi, mother Bhadra and sister, Radhika, to New York in 1989.  Bipin, who is a pearl dealer in New York, recalls that the family was not overly religious.

“From time to time, sadhus and spiritual speakers would visit Kobe, exposing us to religion and spirituality, but nobody made the impact that HH Pramukh Swami made when he stayed at our home along with ten sadhus in his entourage,” recalls Bipin. “At the time, we had no idea who he was or about BAPS.  All we knew is that he was a sadhu of the Swaminarayan faith. However, our family later became more religious.”

The spiritual connection probably began even before birth for Bhavesh: he was born in 1984, exactly three months after Swamiji’s visit. Recalls Bipin: “During Swamiji’s visit, there was an assembly in Kobe at the India Club hall, and my wife tells me that the unborn child was exceptionally active while Swamiji was speaking. On the formal level, his exposure to the Swaminarayan faith was when he enrolled in the children’s group Bal Mandal at the Swaminarayan temple in Edison when he was 9 years old.”

A Father Remembers…

All children are different in the way they react to the complex world around them. At a time when most kids are embroiled in sports and video games, Bhavesh was questioning the world around him. “I remember him telling me that when he was in seventh grade, he went out to play one evening, gazing up into the sky, and questioned this world and the purpose of life,” says Bipin.

“He felt that there must be a deeper meaning to this life and that all things in this world are temporary. It was Bhavesh’s wish since childhood to work towards his own moksha and also to serve society in the capacity of a sadhu.  Just like any society needs farmers, doctors, lawyers, engineers, so do we need sadhus for our spiritual needs.” Pramukh Swami, however, insisted Bhavesh attend college first and when he graduated from Boston University, he got permission to join Swamiji in India.

Such a decision can be traumatic for the parents. Here in Bipin’s words is the dilemma of losing a child but realizing that the child is gaining the ultimate joy in life. “Of course we knew if he became a Swaminarayan sadhu that we would have no contact on a personal level with him. We did not know how we would handle it emotionally,” admits Bipin.

“However, when Bhavesh and I met Pramukh Swami when he was entering the monastic life, he requested Swamiji to bless us as his parents that we can handle this separation well.  I still remember Swamiji placing his loving hand on my head and telling me, ‘Now Bhavesh is about to sit in God’s lap’ so to keep courage.

“We felt consoled knowing that our son is in the best hands ever, and that he has set out to do what he was born for, and that too, serving as a sadhu of a guru such as Pramukh Swami. As for my wife, she did find it difficult initially, but she felt that the decision would make him really happy and thus gave her willing consent. Naturally, we do miss him, his sense of humor, everything about him, but we are still happy knowing that he is on the right path, one that gives him, and us, immense joy and peace.”

Bhavesh is now known as Shantyogi Swami and lives in Sarangpur. New York devotees who have visited him have come back with a deeper understanding of a sadhu’s life and mission, and commend Bhavesh and other young men for undertaking this divine journey.

Heart-wrenching and emotional as this story is, it is not singular for there are several other accomplished Indian-Americans who have chosen this difficult path in spite of having degrees from Harvard, Georgetown, the London School of Economics, and being engineers, doctors, lawyers, journalists and other professionals.  And there are thousands more who while pursuing their careers and family obligations, are also embracing spirituality even while living in a very materialistic world.

The spiritual path. Photo by H. Koppdelaney

Young and Spiritual – Their Stories

The stories are quite intriguing. Balasaheb Darade, who was born in a small village in Maharashtra and propelled himself through education to becoming an innovator and entrepreneur, went on to get a Masters in Science from the University of Cincinnati. He interned with the NASA team at Lunar, and was offered a full time job and American citizenship. He did not take this as in the long run he wanted to work in the villages of India.

Though he did stay on in the US for further studies and creating some startups, he has now gone back to  his roots, following Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and Anna Hazare, looking to create model villages. Imagine, having the ability to reach the stars, yet realizing that heaven is in service to the humblest of God’s creations.

For some, spirituality has become both lodestar and career. A Harvard graduate who could have located herself in the world’s top cities is the Program Director for Nouvelle Vie Youth Corp, a social development project in Haiti that she has conceived through IAHV (AOLF’s sister organization).

Raj Modhvadia, 26, of Memphis, TN, had abused substances as a teenager and hung out with the wrong crowd. A few years ago he enrolled in the Isha program and his life turned around completely. He had a yearning to rediscover himself and two years ago he moved to the Isha Ashram in India and volunteers full-time at Isha Home School, working with children.

Spirituality has been the salvation for Jay, (not his real name) a young man who was in prison. Having taken the Art of Living course, his life is transformed and he is undergoing teacher’s training to teach other youths through the public school program YES for Schools.

Something is surely amiss in our chaotic, frenetic lives as we struggle to find happiness material achievements, bigger homes, and bigger job titles. Having achieved all this, the appetite for happiness is never satiated as each acquisition leaves one hungry for something more elusive.

What is that faceless, nameless thing that we all are searching for?

The search is never-ending. Photo - H. Koppdelaney

The Spiritual Masters

When Sri Sri Ravi Shankar of the Art of Living had a marathon meditation event in the cavernous Alice Tully Hall in Lincoln Center, over 2700 people flocked to it – and many were young people who could have chosen to be at a bar or a rock concert instead. Hundreds were totally committed volunteers who had given up all other activities to put the I-Meditate event into place and make it a major happening in New York.

Shefali Aggrawal is a young New York lawyer who decided to give up a year of her paid professional life and volunteer as a full time teacher for the Art of living foundation. Indeed, meditation seems to changes one’s very thinking. Shefali found her sacrifice was a new way to help people.

“I am inspired by the change which happens when people are at peace within themselves,” she says. “I used to work with poverty-stricken and mentally ill clients for years and I realized that while giving legal advice was very important, I could not help effect real change in their conditions.  By teaching people skills to manage their mind and emotions, they are able to push through big stressors in their life and reach their fuller potential.”

She adds, “Religion and nationality are concepts that we have created, love, compassion, kindness are values which are universal and belong to every citizen of the world.  Meditation allows us to relax and blossoms these human values which are actually our true nature.”

Indeed, spirituality helps both the giver and the receiver. Parneet Gosal, a digital strategist who has worked with start-ups and brands like American Express, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia and Saks Fifth Avenue, found a whole new path through meditation, and  now her own digital strategy consulting firm, Seedwalker.

“I’m like most New Yorkers, juggling multiple balls with a lifelong addiction to overachieving,” she said. “I also consider myself savvy and immune to transient fads. Late last year I attended a meditation class with my mother with the dual – albeit half-baked – goals of increasing my energy level and improving my mother’s long term health. I was by no means convinced that we would achieve either.”

She adds, “As it turns out, the class helped us with both goals…and then some. It was instrumental in my decision to launch Seedwalker and it helped my mom tremendously. I now work with I Meditate NY to help educate other New Yorkers just like me, who sometimes let misguided beliefs stop them from achieving their health goals.”

This seismic shift toward spirituality seems to be a major change in many second-generation Indian-Americans. Earlier for many youth, anything to do with religion or spirituality was anathema as they tried to merge into the mainstream and fit into school and college, and the larger community. They did not want to appear ‘different’ from their peers. So why this change now?

Part of the answer lies with the changing, evolving Indian community and part of it with America itself. As the Indian population has grown, so have the resources. Where previously there may have been a small basement in an apartment converted into a makeshift temple where Hindus would congregate in remote outposts of small towns, now there are hundreds and hundreds of world-class temples across the US, and spiritual leaders regularly visit from India to give discourses.

An example is the BAPS Swaminarayan Sanstha which runs about 64 temples in the US, each of them having their respective forums for children as well as for the youths. The sadhus have designed well-structured programs which aim to lead participants in becoming more spiritual and in line with the Hindu faith, encouraging them to lead pious and moral lives and help society

America is changing too with temples, mosques and gurudwaras sprouting up besides the churches. The mainstream is also more open to different faiths and traditions, and yoga, meditation and vegetarianism are becoming common practices. Indeed, yoga and meditation have been embraced by most Indian-Americans after these become a common phenomenon in America, and at a time when health care professionals advocate them for stress control and overall health.

In such an atmosphere, it has become easier to explore spirituality. The practice of meditation may be thousands of years old but it is perfectly suited to our very stressful modern times, when in order to go fast, you have to learn to slow down. Spurring it on is the phenomenon of social media where everything is amplified through Twitter and Facebook, with the sharing of favored practices and ideas. Being spiritual is no longer regarded as weird or exotic.

The giving back tradition in America also appeals to many young Indians who have grown up here and are involved with volunteering in temples and spiritual organizations like BAPS, Art of Living Foundation, Isha, Swadhiya Pariwar (of late Padurang Shastri) and local temples. Some have re-oriented their lives totally to embrace spirituality, becoming teachers or bramacharis at spiritual organizations.

This is in interesting contrast to the traditional Indian mold where life was divided into periods marked by childhood, youth, middle-age, and old-age, and where spirituality was ascribed or recommended only in old age (after the grihasti period – householder period). With 50 being the new 30, it’s no surprise to see older people still enmeshed in worldly work and money-making, while it is the younger people who are more into searching for the meaning of life and death.

So what’s causing this? What are the influences that are driving youngsters—who might otherwise be into partying or career-climbing—into spirituality? Young people seem to get into spirituality for a number of reasons including family influence, a sense of belonging with spiritual organizations, or a need to find the meaning of life.

Looking for answers Photo by H. Koppdelaney

What are Young Indian-Americans Searching for?

Neil Pathak

We talked to several young people to find out about their personal journeys and encounters with spirituality. Neil Pathak, 17, was brought up by parents who are both physicians and committed Isha volunteers. He himself started the program at the age of 12, and he credits yoga with helping him overcome his health problems and also in acquiring focus and clarity. He became the valedictorian of his high school, received several international awards and recently got accepted to Yale University. Recently he single-handedly organized a fundraiser for rural children’s health for Isha Vidya.

“Spirituality is deeply rooted in my dedication to yoga, as it not only gives me a sense of calm, but also provides me a foundation of dedication and focus that helps me with my school work and actually enhances my relationships with friends, faily and other people,” says Neil.  I recommend this lifestyle to others. It does not involve balancing two worlds, it simply is an addition to one’s life to result in an overall calmer, more joyful, and more focused life.”

Leena Athparia

For some young people, the challenge is even greater. Into the mix of growing up Indian in America is the added complication of growing of in an inter-cultural home, a more and more common occurrence. Leena Athparia of Toronto, Canada grew up with a mother of British-Irish heritage and a Protestant Christian background and a father who is a Hindu from Assam, India.

Growing up with two religions and two cultures, Leena learned to keep an open mind: “Both parents were not very religious, but allowed me enough exposure to understand Hinduism and Christianity.  I never strongly identified with either religion, but considered myself spiritually inclined,” she says.

A dedicated violinst, Leena has always had the underpinnings of spirituality and after starting Isha Yoga, her experience of music has shifted to a deeper level and continues to evolve. Having graduated with a BA and BSc, she is studying to be a Naturopathic doctor and has graduated from the music conservatory in piano and violin.  Yet to her, the whole definition of success has changed, and to her the accomplished life is one of volunteering at Isha Ashram, working in its garden and teaching music to the children.

“As much as I know I could do well in my career, I feel the longing to grow spiritually,” she says. “ Whether its living in an ashram, or volunteering at the Rejuvenation Center, or contributing my musical skills, I would like to devote my time and energy to what I feel is the most worthwhile – which will always have a spiritual inclination.”

Asked about the rewards of getting off the ambition and  acquisition treadmill, she says, “The rewards can’t be quantified – they have been more than I could have ever imagined. I see so many friends and family around me struggling with stress and life situations, and I feel that I would have been in a similar situation, if it weren’t for the Isha yoga practices that I’ve incorporated into my lifestyle.”

Anand and Mili Gandhi

Anand and Mili Gandhi, both in their 30’s, live in Detroit and have also made spirituality a priority in their lives.  Anand works with Ford Motor Company and Mili is a physical therapist. Currently both are part-time volunteers at Isha, but plan to move to India to become full time volunteers at Isha Home School. “Religion was not a huge part of my background,” says Anand. “ My mother did pray every morning but I rarely saw my Dad pray.  We would go to the temple a few times a year.”

The search continues... Photo by h.Koppeldelancy

Growing Up Indian in America

Growing up Indian in America was stressful, recalls Anand, for balancing Indian values with American society was not easy. “I did my best to separate my family from my friends since there was a big disconnect,” he says. “ I felt most comfortable with my Indian American friends and with other relatives because we were all similar in terms of the experiences we were going through.”

His training at Isha helped him to see how both worlds could gel by doing many of the things he used to do earlier but with a different mindset or awareness. He feels he can now handle difficult situations with calm, is in great shape,  and is able to better balance his life. Anand says, “Spirituality is now a big part of my life from the smallest of things in terms of respecting the food I am eating to the biggest of things such as trying to be one with everything around me.”

Ravi Naidu

The spiritual path has also led some to  offbeat careers – such as stand up comedic Ravi Naidu of Atlanta worked for IBM and other corporates  before jumping into standup comedy. Becoming more spiritual almost seemed to grant him permission to try the less traveled road.

Growing up, religion or spirituality was not a big part of life although all Indian festivals were celebrated.  He recalls: “I never understood anything about them. We didn’t have a temple in Atlanta when I was growing up. If we did I’m sure my parents would have gone pretty regularly, but I wouldn’t have cared for it.”

He also underwent an identity stress, like so many Indian-Americans at that time. “I never felt like I fit in with anyone,” he says. “ I wasn’t like any of the American kids and I also wasn’t like any of the Indian kids. I tried to be as American as possible. I was even uncomfortable with my own “Indian-ness.” So, I became a coconut (only brown on the outside).”

He encountered spirituality in a roundabout way. “ I didn’t know I was looking to bring spirituality into my life,” he says. “I just knew that something seemed to be missing even though I had a great life, in many ways. I found out about a talk that Sadhguru was giving in Atlanta and I went. For the first time a “spiritual type of person” was talking about things in a very practical and realistic way, very applicable to my life. So, I took the 7 day Isha Yoga program and haven’t looked back since.”

Asked about the rewards of following a spiritual path, Ravi says, “ It’s beyond a reward to be given the tools to see life beyond the basics of human survival. To realize that life only happens within this current moment and that I am 100% responsible for everything that happens in my life has been the greatest gift and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It permeates my everyday life, actions – my very being.  My perspective on life is filtered through the sieve of spirituality.”

Monica Gupta

For Monica Gupta of Atlanta, who is in her 30’s, religion had always been  a way of life.  A dentist and a new mother, she finds it has been her defining guidepost. Growing up, her parents made sure culture, language and traditions were very much a part of her life.  She says, “They made sure we sat for evening puja daily, took us to the temple, hosted pujas, taught us mantras and bhajans as well as their meanings.  They did everything to set an example for us.”

Yet it is spirituality gleaned from her training at Isha, that helps her to go to work, come back to her husband and baby, attend to family and friends and  do all that is needed, with less struggle, both internally and externally. “Spirituality is an internal compass that guides you in the external world,” she says. “ It does not require one to abandon their everyday duties in daily life.  In fact, it enhances the journey and experiences we call life.  It allows you to go through life untouched, effortlessly.  It helps you function more smoothly, like a well oiled machine.”

Service is an important part of spirituality as young people learn to give back to the communities and in doing so enrich their own life experiences. Anju Bhargava, a member of President Barack Obama’s Advisory Council on Faith Based and Neighborhood partnership, is the founder of Hindu American Seva Charities (HASC) which is a service partner with the Corporation for National & Community Service. She finds the younger generation is very open to giving back and making a difference.

“Service, especially yoga, is a bridge builder with the community at large; it increases acceptance of the New Americans, promotes peace of mind and harmony and reduces potential conflicts with the communities in which we reside,” she says. “More than ever, the service mindset, the sharing of resources is important now, at a time when anti-immigrant rhetoric is increasing.”

Spirituality helps one to know one’s self and then multiply the peace and joy by helping the many. It is an important pathfinder and a self-help tool in an increasingly chaotic and fractured world. More and more young people seem to be internalizing these lessons to make sense of the world they live in.

Sreeratna Kancheria

Sreeratna Kancheria, 33, of Atlanta, Georgia, left the high paying world of law to working in a university, in placement of students into village projects in India to help underdeveloped societies.  Last year she lost her father, and she feels spirituality and meditation helped her navigate through that desolate time of grief and find her bearings with this new meaningful work.

Raajiv Rai

Raajiv Ravi, 33, is a young phyisican in San Fracisco who met his wife, an Italian, while attending an Isha Yoga program. They got married recently and his wife has already become a full-time volunteer at the ashram, and Raajiv is giving up medicine to become a full-time volunteer too. Born in Mumbai, Raajiv grew up in a home where he was exposed to the Hindu way of life and a spiritual upbringing.

“Coming from a large family setting, my parents had a total of 12 siblings, the constant coming together of families meant staging dramas filled with Hindu mythology, singing bhajans and offering flowers and fruits to the Gods,” he says. “I grew up to realize that these experiences in my formative years made me the person who I am today.”

Yet none of this helped solve life’s deepest mystery – human existence. He says, “All the religious beliefs and practices couldn’t  provide me with the answers that I was looking for. Rather than losing hope and fretting away my life, I decided to pursue what was immediately ahead of me with a strong hope that I’ll find answers to this newly formed volcano of questions one day.”

At Isha he found some important answers. “This program has only made my belief stronger that as a seeker one has to be grounded in the physical world to experience higher growth in spirituality,” he says. “The simple yet powerful kriyas that I’ve learned and come to practice regularly have enhanced my way of living. Whether I’m rock climbing in Palm Springs or attending underground music events at the Elbo room in San Francisco, the daily practice helps preserve my inner balance and keeps me focused on the larger aspect of life.”

Raajiv has found that this tool helps him stay in the moment whether he’s trekking in the Muirwoods with friends or delivering a key presentation on healthcare taxonomy. His energy levels are great and fear and self-consciousness are more easily transcended.  He says, “This newly acquired way of life has helped bring wholeness and vitality into my life allowing me to enjoy the spiritual path while very much staying alive and kicking in the physical world. I’d absolutely recommend this to everyone – including the doubters  to give it a try and see themselves grow into wonderful human beings.”

And that brings us full-circle to Balasaheb Darade, who gave up a lucrative future in America for the struggles of village India. While he did have spirituality embedded in his DNA by his family upbringing, he felt it has been channelized and energized by the teachings of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and the Art of Living.   Even in the US Balasaheb had started teaching meditation classes and was also involved with Anna Hazare’s anti-corruption drive in Cincinnati.

He is now working in small towns and villages, places where Internet access is sometimes hard to come by and NASA and glittering America are a world away. Inspired by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and Dr. Abdul Kalam who are both involved in the resurgence of village India, Balasaheb is working toward making sustainable model villages and empowering youth in the villages.  As he points out, 70 percent of India’s population is under 35.  He eats the simple village meals, inspires the youth and listens to their ideas and solutions, sharing and giving them visions for the future.

He feels that spirituality has shown him the path for his life. “ Spirituality has made me so strong and there’s a sense of fulfillment. Nothing can faze me – there is a lot of inner strength.  I’m so grateful for everything in my life. There is that fullness and out of that fullness, I want to contribute. Service for me is an expression of joy and doing service is like a long meditation for me. You see so many smiles on people’s faces and it comes back manifold to you.”

(C) Lavina Melwani

(This article first appeared in Khabar magazine)

The Monk's Way Photo by h.Koppdelaney

The Monk’s Way

Swaminarayan sadhus have a very strict discipline to follow 5 principal vows: minimize desire, taste, greed, ego and attachments. Intitally they go to the Seminary which is in Sarangpur (near Ahmedabad, Gujrat).  The training is a minimum of  5 years, very structured and comprehensive.

In the initial period, as a novice sadhak (12 to  18 months), they serve in the mandir, study the Hindu scriptures, learn devotional songs and prepare for a life of seva and austerity. Then, once they obtain written consent of their parents, Pramukh Swami  initiates them into the parshad order (white robes). Thereafter, 12 to 18 months later, they receive bhagwati diksha and the saffron robes of a full renunciate. Their training then continues at Sarangpur.

The sadhus do all the work connected with the management of the temple, including cleaning and cooking. They wake up daily at 4 a.m, bathe, do personal puja, then attend temple services; they then do morning chores, breakfast, classes, lunch, personal study, meditation, more classes and, at 7:30 pm the evening arti is performed.  After dinner, there are further activities, with each spending an hour in personal study before bedtime at 11:30 pm.

Each sadhu undertakes a waterless fast five days out of the month. For meals, each sadhu mixes the prepared dishes together in his wooden bowl and partakes of the same as a discipline to curb the desire for food. When they travel out of the ashram, they do so only in pairs.  They do not touch money and observe complete, lifelong celibacy.

The Boy Who Renounced the World

For the time being he shall be Nameless. He has renounced his home, his family, his friends – so why not his name too? Very soon this 20-something, accomplished American born Indian will have a new name and a new life – that of a BSS swami. Here as he moves toward the light and nirvana, he answers the frenzied questions of those still embroiled in our world of attachment and wants…

How did spirituality come to you at a young age? Why did you decide to take diksha?

It was something that just seemed so natural. There are some things that people are just inclined towards, and spirituality was something that I had an attraction to. I loved connecting with God and feeling his divine presence.

I decided to take diksha because of the selfless and pure love of Pramukh Swami Maharaj. There was a sense of satisfaction that I received from helping people as I was growing up.  After college, I realized that this path was the ultimate sacrifice and ultimate contribution.  I was giving away what was dear to me for the greater good of an entire community, potentially, the entire world.

Was that decision easy and conclusive, or was there struggle involved in coming to terms with leaving behind the life of family and career, etc.?

On the surface it may seem like giving up everything is such a tough thing to do. But honestly, after being showered in Pramukh Swami’s love, it is so easy to do. Yes there is happiness in worldly things, but there is a different type, a higher divine happiness that comes in pleasing God and his choicest devotee.

How involved or enticed were you with so-called “normal” interests of growing American children?

I was very big in sports. I enjoyed all aspects of sports – watching games, going to games, playing different types of sports. I also enjoyed being with my friends – getting together at someone’s house and making food, relaxing, and just having a good time.

What does diksha entail? Please tell us the steps and process.

There are two dikshas that take place. The first is called “parshadi” diksha where you are initiated into white cloths and given a parshad name. This happens after being in the Sarangpur training school for 1-1.5 years. The second diksha comes after another 1-1.5 years, which is called “bhagwati” diksha, where you wear the saffron clothes and receive a sadhu name. Then, you stay in the training school for another 3-5 years where you complete your training scriptures, sangeet, spiritual discourses, penance, seva, and bhakti.

What is the hardest part of doing this? Please enumerate the do’s and don’ts of a monk’s life. Did you or do you ever second-guess your decision?

Sure, becoming a sadhu is tough, but the love of Pramukh Swami Maharaj and seeing his continuous sacrifice for everyone makes sadhu-life so much easier. There are 5 main vows for sadhus – non-lust, non-taste, non-ego, non-attachment, and non-greed. I haven’t second guessed my decision because this is something I truly enjoying being and love devoting my life to God. Offering devotion and doing seva and helping society are things I have a passion for and love doing.

Would you recommend this to others?

Definitely. Just as you would recommend your profession to someone, I would recommend this. I’m not saying being a sadhu is a profession. Instead, it is all about your devotion and service to Bhagwan, but you get my point.

What for you are the biggest rewards?
My biggest reward is I know I am pleasing my guru. I know this is not the only way to please my guru, but just as there are many ways to please your family or your boss or anyone else, this is the path I have chosen to truly please my guru.
How do you think it helps you to fulfill your role in the world and find the meaning of life?

Being a sadhu allows me to help connect society with God and feel God’s divine presence. Moreover, I am able to talk to others about being moral and ethical citizens of society. Regarding the meaning of life, I think the meaning of life is to please God and do good for society, both of which I am able to do as a sadhu.

For those who cannot follow this path, what would you suggest as the next best thing?

Live a moral, value-based, and devoted life as a householder.

What is the inspiration or mantra which keeps you going, through good times and bad?

The inspiration which keeps me going is looking at my guru – Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s life. Seeing how much he has gone through, all the sacrifice he has made, all the hardships he’s had to deal with, and yet that constant serene smile of absolute contentment is what keeps me going. He has done so much for society without ever looking at his own personal needs or wants. Seeing how dedicated he has been to God and society is an ever-motivating facet for me.

Sheela Rajdev: Journey to the Moon Within

“My mom still recollects that when she came one day to my first grade class wearing a sari I was shocked because I had never seen her wearing Indian clothes,” says Sheela Rajdev. “When I look back at it, I don’t think I realized I was Indian or what it meant. I wasn’t identified with Indians or having any particular background so I didn’t have any stress about my identity.”

It was complete assimilation for the family had never returned to India, the children did not speak any Indian languages and non-Indian food was served on the family table. Friends were from every background and Sheela could not relate to new Indian immigrants because she simply had no reference.

Like many Indian children who grew up in the American hinterland, she had few markers of  Hindu cultural or spiritual life. Her father was an engineer at BASF and mother was a medical director at Henry Ford in Farmington Hills, MI. “We were not oriented towards any particular religion, no lamps lit at home or God’s pictures,” she says. “I went to the temple and even a church a few times but only for the day camps or math classes.”

Later in life her parents rediscovered religion and things changed when Sadhguru  Jaggi Vasudev of the Isha Yoga Program came to Michigan.

“Summer before college, I was taken to an introductory talk and with my attention totally elsewhere, half way through I took the car keys and drove off to my best friend’s graduation party thinking I don’t need any advice on how to be happy!” says Sheela.

The next year, after freshman year at college, she and her brothers attended a 7 day Inner Engineering program with Sadhguru. “This time I looked up at the man behind the microphone, opened my ears, and put down a few of the barriers and resistances I had towards so-called spiritual teachers,” she remembers. “I listened to what he had to say and his logic hit me, his wisdom seemed unparalleled and his humor started to soften me up.  He was not talking about some god somewhere or asking me to believe in anything but just to look at myself a little deeper.”

How deep?

As deep as she was willing. The more willing she became, the more she discovered and suddenly the world inside of her, she found, was so much bigger than the one outside. “I realized the difference between religion and a true spiritual process,” she says. She visited India for the first time, spending a month in silence and volunteered at the Isha Yoga Center in Coimbatore, a life-transforming experience.  Ten years have passed, 7 of them as a full-time volunteer and 3 of them living in India.  – All of them extremely happy and peaceful.

“I didn’t realize it but all my life I was trying to fulfill some unquenchable thirst for happiness and a sense of completeness,” she says, running from goal to goal, imagining each would take her somewhere. She adds, “It became so painstakingly clear that nothing on the outside would satisfy me.”

One big question overwhelmed her: ‘What is this all about and what am I looking for?’ Sadhguru’s program called Inner Engineering gave her the tools to find this answer within.  She says, “That thirst is quenched and whether I do something or don’t do anything the experience is equally as beautiful.”

At the age of 29, Sheela has found the inner contentment that most people struggle all their lives to find. She quotes Sadhguru: “The world is trying to do so many things. We’re trying to go to the moon, to Mars, but, fundamentally, I feel the most important thing is human consciousness, the quality of life here. How happy we are here simply depends on how we are within ourselves.”

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Women workers painting traffic markings in New Delhi (Photo: Lavina Melwani)

Indian Stories – A Photo Gallery

India is full of surprises – and there’s usually a story behind the most prosaic of objects. Ever wondered how traffic signs get painted? No, there’s no automated, robotized procedure behind them as in the West – it’s a batch of women sitting on their haunches with paintbrushes and pots of yellow paint. I saw this first hand when I walked down Janpath in New Delhi. Who remembers these unknown roadside artists as we rush in our automobiles past the black and yellow traffic markings on the pavements?

Indian monkeys or langurs hold sway outside a wayside temple in Ranthambhore in Rajasthan. Photo: Lavina Melwani

India’s Monkeys – Irresistible!

In India you can see man and monkeys living together in an uneasy truce. A photograph that got away was of at least 20 monkeys all dangling from a traffic light pole in Agra! Before I got my camera out, the bus had moved on and the clambering monkeys remain a delightful snapshot in my memory. I’m sure the monkeys run rampant in places like Benares, Mathura and Haridwar.

In fact, I distinctly remember having my toast snatched from my hand by a greedy monkey at the Haridwar Railway Station many years ago. Now I caught glimpses of monkeys – and humans, outside a small wayside temple near the Ranthambhore National Park. Seen as a form of Hanuman, the venerated Monkey God, these monkeys are indulged and even fed by passers-by.

India’s Camel Power

Camel power in Rajasthan, India Photo: Lavina Melwani

You’ve heard of horsepower but in India you also have camelpower! Those comical ships of the desert can often be spotted on the road to cities in Rajasthan, pulling their share of loads. Owners love to beautify their animals and the markings on their bodies and legs can tell you quite a story. They are totally lovable as they rise tipsily to their feet to give endless lines of tourists a ride on their backs. I’ve never been to Pushkar for the annual camel fair but I can believe they are worth their weight in gold to traders. I was sad and a little queasy to learn that camel body parts from bones to skin go into making many handicrafts. Perhaps we can do camel milk chocolates, as they do in Dubai? A great tourist pleaser.

Only in India - Gulab sharbat and nimbu pani Photo: Lavina Melwani

Indian Drinks – Gulab Pani and Nimbu Pani

Only in India, the twin pleasures of sherbet and nimbu pani – the marvelous cooling drinks which can tranquilize you in the hottest of weather. The sharbat, as it is called, comes in flavors like khus, kewra and gulab or rose and is instantaneously refreshing. The Nimbu or the lime soda/water immediately takes you back to childhood, to ice tinkling in the glasses and some delicious cucumber or chutney sandwiches eaten in the garden, always with lots of family gossip.  No wonder these are drinks still going strong in spite of the inroads made by Coke and Pepsi!

India’s Laundry…

Laundry dries just about everywhere - even on construction sites. Photo: Lavina Melwani

Then there’s the drying laundry – which is on display everywhere. Luckily it’s not dirty laundry being washed in public but fluffy clean garments hanging up just about everywhere where there is an inch of space. I’ve seen it on roof tops hanging on water pipes, in construction sites and from windows and terraces, even in open fields, waving merrily from makeshift clotheslines between trees.

No washing machines and dryers here – quite a saving in energy as the free sunshine is utilized fully. The clothes are washed also in the open ghats, a place to chat and gossip while getting a great physical workout which would be the envy of any urban woman. In Mumbai, I’ve seen the Maharashtrian bais or cleaning women give the laundry a whopping – no wonder they are so fit and limber. They can traverse an entire apartment on their haunches while sweeping the floor with an Indian broom, unimpeded by their nine yard saris!

The Indian postbox Photo: Lavina Melwani

You’ve Got Mail in India

Then there’s the sturdy red post box standing through thick and thin on city streets, waiting to receive everything from your apprehensive job applications to your aching love letters, and armed with a big fat lock to ensure everything is safe and secure. It reminds me of all the letters to pen-friends, all the story pitches I excitedly mailed out over the years. Now of course, there’s e-mail, Twitter, Facebook and mobile phones. I wonder how many bits of personal correspondence still make their way into the heart of the big red mail box  in the big cities now…

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What Do You Do? Nothing…

What do you do? This question has always elicited varying responses from me at different stages of my adult life. The first time I had been asked this question had been at my first official party at my husband’s workplace, nearly 25 years ago. It had been a welcome the new bride sort of thing – they had this tradition of welcoming new members’  families. I was thrilled to be the guest of honor.

My happiness knew no bounds when I was asked to pop open a bottle of champagne. Afterwards the getting to know each other at the party started and one elegant lady  – a  fashion designer – walked up to me and after introducing herself, asked me this million dollar question, “What do you do?”

I was a brand new wife, setting up house and learning to cook( I couldn’t cook to save my life ), and just getting my bearings in this alien world and this lady wanted to know what I did apart from all the above mentioned things!

I naively answered in the negative, “I don’t do anything.” Now why did I say this? Because of the misconception that women who don’t work out side of their homes, in actual offices, don’t do anything in society’s eyes. How wrong I was! Her demeanor underwent an apparent change right there in front of my disbelieving and confused eyes and she excused herself and walked away towards a young lady who had a job out of her home and who contributed to society.

I have wised up since that fateful evening and learned new ways of explaining what I do to ignorant people. The next time someone had inquired about my work status, I had proudly proclaimed to be a home maker. But this term had been milked dry by innovative ladies like me so the next best answer became, “I am a home manager.”  This term too lost its charm pretty quickly and I was at a loss for words to describe my occupational tag.

It was at this juncture in my tumultuous life that I came in contact with a versatile woman. She had six kids and she was home schooling them. When someone asked her this age-old question, she answered without blinking her eyes, “I am a home engineer.”  I was hooked; she was my inspiration and mentor.

I have officially adopted this title and am planning to put it on my business card, now that I have started a business of my own. I no longer dread this Frankenstein of a question, “What do you do?”, but welcome it so that I can explain my status as a home engineer.

But seriously, does it matter where you work? In an office or at home, work is work. Is bringing home a paycheck the only validation a woman needs to justify her contribution to society?

You decide…

Sulekha Rawat

Sulekha Rawat

check out Sulekha’s new site: www.socialpotpourri.com

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Meera and Vikram Gandhi at the Giving Back launch

On The Joys of Giving Back

Recently Meera Gandhi launched her book, Giving Back at the Leela Palace Hotel in New Delhi, with over 500 guests including family, friends, media and movers and shakers. All proceeds from the book benefit the Giving Back Foundation, which recently also established an India office. The book highlights the many organizations that the Giving back Foundation is associated with. For more on the organization and the work it does, check out  www.TheGivingbackFoundation.net

As Fareed Zakaria writes, “The act of giving is twice blessed, touching the recipient but also the donor. We are at the beginning of a great revolution of giving. Meera Gandhi describes and celebrates it in this beautiful, heartwarming book.”

A photo gallery of the evening…

Dress Me is a site to help you dress according to the weather in your area

Daily Dress Me is Hot -  and Cool

Ever had the experience of dressing up and rushing out – into a downpour? Or freezing in a slinky outfit when the weather suddenly turns abrasive? Looking out of the window to judge the weather is just not good enough – a more practical weather forecaster might be Daily Dress Me!

Nina Vir, creator of Daily Dress Me

Nina Vir, A 17-year-old senior at the Beverly Hills High School in California has come up with a strategy on how to dress appropriately, no matter what the weather, by simply keying in your zip code in her website Daily Dress Me. It whips up the weather forecast for your city and shows you suitable options in clothing, which you can actually buy on the site. Nina comes from a family which is reputed to have the most ph.ds – the Guinness Book of Records says so – and who knows, she may be listed too one day for coming up with this great idea!

Nina, who started this venture to help arm young people against all sorts of weather, plans to monetize this venture by getting garment retailers on board – and with the proceeds help NGO’s like Mountain Fund and Maiti which assist girls who are victims of human trafficking.

Nina’s site is aimed at the younger generation. Perhaps she can start another site for those in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. After all, everyone – including those with Ph.ds – needs to know how to clad themselves, when going out into the elements!

Nina Vir on Daily Dress Me, The Mountain Fund and Maiti…

When did you come to the US and tell us a little about where you grew up, your education – and your passions.

I was born and raised in Beverly Hills, California. I am currently a senior at Beverly Hills High School.
Some of my passions are fashion, travelling, yoga, and Bharata Natyam. I am very committed to ending human trafficking, the evil that has plagued my country, Nepal. My real life hero is Anuradha Koirala, the 2010 CNN Hero of the Year.

My greatest achievement to date is  I held a silent auction and raised money to donate eight bicycles to girls in Nepal, enabling them to attend school.
True to my astrological sign, Leo, I am confident, dependable, & a fierce “lioness” when it comes to achieving my goals.

My greatest influence has been my mother’s family, which actually  holds the Guinness Record for having the most Ph.D.’s in one family -  no lie!

Daily Dress Me is a site which determines style and fashion according to the weather in your location

What made you think of starting Daily Dress Me?
Weather conditions and what to wear go hand in hand. For as long as I can remember, when I wake up in the mornings I check the weather (either by asking my mom, checking a weather website, or looking outside my window), and accordingly pick out my outfit for the day. I thought, wouldn’t it be easier if somehow we were just told what to wear? Dailydressme.com offers outfit advice based on the weather in your city. It answers the biggest question every girl has in the morning: “What’s the weather?” and “What should I wear?” This past summer I brought my idea to life. Now, getting ready in the morning is a one step process.

Are there commercial affiliations in this venture, and do you plan to monetize it?

I am in talks with several retailers. I plan to have retailers advertise their attire as the featured outfit of the day, which would allow viewers to click on the outfit and buy it directly from my site. All the the profits from Daily Dress Me will be donated to support The Mountain Fund and Maiti Nepal, non profit organizations which benefit victims of human trafficking in Nepal.

How do you determine what to wear in different parts of the world?
I don’t have different outfits for each city. Rather, I constantly update (roughly every 2-3 weeks) my outfit database according to the latest trends. The website is a great example of how fashion is universal and unites young people from around the world.

Are you into fashion and plan to take this further?
I have always been interested in fashion, which is one of the reasons I started the website. I started the Daily Dress Me as a fun side project, but it has now become much more than a hobby.

Tell me about The Mountain Fund and why it’s close to your heart?
Although I was born and raised in Beverly Hills, my family hails from India and Nepal. The plight of young girls in my ancestral homeland has always been an issue close to my heart. I live in global community, so if a young girl across the world is sold by her helpless parents or kidnapped to be sold in to prostitution, I will fight to make it stop. I want to highlight a very important and relevant social cause that needs more exposure in the media. I also will be contributing to Maiti  Nepal, another non-profit organization dedicated to helping victims of human trafficking, which is based in Nepal.

What response has Daily Dress Me had?
Daily Dress Me has seen tremendous growth in the past couple months, getting about 1000 hits a day. It is popular in the US and in countries like France, New Zealand, the Philippines, Australia, and the UK. Notable models and visual artists from France, Japan, and Germany have praised the site for its simplicity and creativity.

A Journey back to India

India blog - Ringing in 2012 in Mumbai

A Mumbai Story – 2012

It was only 8 pm on Dec 31st in Mumbai but already the drums were beating wildly outside my window in an apartment close to the Gateway of India. People are packing the streets here and I’m struck by the sheer energy of the crowds. The vitality of Mumbaikars is catching, their passion to live, to succeed. I’ve been in the city just three days but already I’ve met so many ordinary people who take each day as it comes and pack a punch into it.

There’s the young cook who is a wanna be entrepreneur, cooking in six different apartments in the building. He rings our doorbell at 7 am and quickly whips up several daals, sabzis and rotis, using a pressure cooker and deft mechanized motions. Within 40 minutes he’s ready to cover the freshly cooked meal and move on to the next home. I’ve tasted the food – it’s delicious, home-made and cooked to the taste of each particular family. Yes, he cheerfully makes a living with his wits and his hands – talk about initiative and entrepreneurship.

Then there’s the Maharashtrian bai who goes to several homes in the vicinity – briskly sweeping, cleaning and making the beds as well as washing the clothes. She’s a whiz at fast moves and leaves the house sparkling, with clothes neatly drying on the clothesline, on to her next assignment.

She’s widowed since the last 18 years and her son too has passed on – now she looks after her three grandchildren, saving for her grand-daughter’s college. Her entire family survives on her earnings. She is a hero but no one knows about her.

Then there’s the woman who recently had the most horrendous freak accident in a flower shop in Bhuleshwar where the hefty shop attendant, while standing on a stool to retrieve some goods, lost his footing and went crashing – right on top of her. She went flying across the room, taking the full brunt of his fall. She broke her kneecap and was immobilized for several months, and now after two surgeries, several medical bills and days and days of physiotherapy, she is just about getting back to life, painfully learning to walk back into the world she knew.

Yet you see her tranquility, her lack of anger and her acceptance of what happened to her and the fact that it could have been much worse – but for the grace of God.  She can actually smile and be witty about this nightmare. She’s ready to move on.

I think if we can take some of these rare qualities with us into the New Year, we will all be well-armed against the vagaries of life.

Celebrating 2012

Ringing in 2012 near the Gateway of India

Near the Gateway of India which is a stone’s throw from the apartment where I’m staying, crowds are gathering, the police is out in full force, the TV vans have gathered and the momentum is building up. The Taj Mahal Hotel is lit up and looking beautiful – a far cry from the devastation of the terror attacks.  A cop tells us that since 26/11 there is not a huge celebration at the Gateway of India due to security concerns and the huge crowds are now to be found at Nariman Point and in Chowpatty.

I myself have not been able to wander Mumbai to see its wild celebrations as I’ve injured the tissue in my right leg. However, since I can’t explore the city, the city seems to have come outside my window, with its joyous, raucous drums and firecrackers. The streets of Colaba are full of merrymakers, and in the lane outside my apartment lots of young kids have gathered, drumming and dancing. Later there will be fireworks as effigy of the old year will be set ablaze.

I finally hobble out for a taxi ride to see the ongoing New Year’s Eve carnival of Mumbai, from the Gateway of India to Nariman’s Point to Marine Drive and Chowpatty and it is amazing to see the streets inundated with people. Couples on scooters, entire families on scooters, girls on scooters. Our taxi weaved its way through traffic jams and our driver told us that he was coming from Bandra where the streets were jam-packed with people celebrating and all restaurants and discos were crowded.

Whole families were out, babies in tow, enjoying coconuts, peanuts and kulfi on Chowpatty beach, waiting to view the fireworks. It was a very outdoor celebration and those who were indoors in apartments were leaning out from balconies, watching the grand show. A surreal half moon gleamed in the dark sky and cars flooded the areas around various clubs, restaurants and hotels, to a cacophony of beeping horns.  Mumbaikars sure know how to party!

It was almost midnight as we returned to the apartment. The gleeful street urchins were dancing with added frenzy and the dhols were reaching a crazy crescendo. As the New Year came in, fireworks – red, green, purple and gold – showered the night sky with manmade stars.

As I listen to the energized drums and remember what the city of Mumbai has gone through – and survived, I have a good feeling that we will all collectively face whatever the new year brings – because we can.

So beat the drums, bring on the fireworks – and let 2012 begin! A Happy New Year, everyone!

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Indian Gooseberries: The Lost Fruit of Childhood

I was in the fabulous Udaivilas in Udaipur, enjoying the morning breakfast feast, when my eyes lit up. No, it wasn’t some grand Rajput jewels which had so excited me, though these gems I speak of were a rich golden orange and came wrapped in a delicate outer covering of gossamer beige.

India Blog – Gooseberries are a popular fruit in India. Photo: Lavina Melwani

Indian Gooseberry Tales

I’m talking of gooseberries – those lost fruits of childhood.  I hadn’t encountered them in decades! Seeing the quirky little berries in their quaint natural packing took me years back to the bustling byways of Connaught Place in New Delhi where young boys selling gooseberries in straw baskets would waylay passengers as they got off from their parked vehicles to shop in the stores. I remember the old stores including  Raghumull’s where my mother would buy our red blazers and white divided skirts – our school uniform for the Convent of Jesus and Mary; warm woolen vests for the harsh Delhi winters and red socks and belts to complete the stiff do’s and don’ts of a formal, no-nonsense convent education.

There were tons of school books to buy but that was another trip to Gole Market for new and used text books, all weighing a ton. But there too the gooseberries came in; they were ubiquitous, with the over-enthusiastic gooseberry boys pushing them aggressively to passersby. Luckily for us, my mother almost always bought some, after the mandatory bargaining, through the window of the car. And often I’d accompany her to the fruit market which during season was flooded with gooseberries, not to mention chikoos, papayas, mangoes, and tiny tasteful strawberries.  The gooseberries, however, always intrigued me because of their unconventional, natural packing. This was designer fruit, fruit before its time.

So years later, I greedily strip open the outer covering and pop a golden berry into my mouth. I close my eyes and the burst of juice and the sweet-sour tang of berry takes me back instantaneously to childhood, to a very particular world which has long since evaporated. Still, it’s nice to close one’s eyes and revisit the past. As I re-open my eyes, I see the bowl of golden gooseberries before me. It is a lovely winter morning in Udaipur, the masala tea is steaming and there’s crisp toast. I’m surrounded by extended family and the day stretches ahead, full of promise. Yes, the past is gooseberry-sweet but the present isn’t so bad either.

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It's All About Relationships

Single Desi’s Tips for the Holiday Season

Tis the Season to Be Fabulous fa la la la la…I love the holiday season.  The shopping; the sales; the extravagant get-togethers; the holiday parties; the cookies; the gifts; the Secret Santas; the holiday cards; the holiday movies; the New Year’s eve parties and the chocolate.  What a great way to say goodbye to a year and ring in the New Year with some great spirit and some awesome love.

Getting gifts can really enhance your mood and help you feel eternally grateful for all the great family and friends that helped you become the awesome woman you are today.  Whether you are alone or with someone getting and giving can lead to a more spirited holiday season.  Below I outline some gift ideas that you can get yourself, a casual date, a sexy partner or your amazing and supportive girlfriends.

Champagne- Pop the bubbly please! Champagne represents celebration; a new start; a new beginning.  Showing up at your date/friend’s place with an expensive bottle is sure to be just cause for celebration.  Champagne is a prelude for all things exciting.  From what I hear, Marilyn Monroe couldn’t get enough of Dom Perignon.

Sex and the single desi - parties for the holiday season

Art- I love Art.  Art can bring vibrancy to any bachelor or bachelorette pad.  Not to mention it can really spice up your mood after a long, hard day of work.  Traveling is great.   Capturing pictures of scenery of places you have been or wish to visit can really refresh the senses.  London-Paris-Hawaii-Fiji-India are all great hot spots around the globe.  Capturing their beauty in a work of art can really add flavor to your place of residence.

Statue of Buddha- Buddha represents spiritual enlightenment.  When Buddha was a young man, his experiences with the outside world drove him to seek out a greater understanding of life and spiritual enlightenment.  Through seeking guidance and meditation, Buddha achieved enlightenment.  We all just want to be at peace and enlightened.  Waking up to Buddha every morning is great way to start your day.

Fragrance- I love Fragrance; Fragrance can be the essence of a man or woman.  Some of my favorite fragrances are Paris Hilton Fairy Dust; Lancome Paris Hypnose; Prada; Jessica Simpson Fancy; Dolce and Gabbana The One; Oscar de la Renta live in love; however, you should get your sweetie or friend a bottle that best represents them.  Wasn’t it Marilyn Monroe who said that the only thing she wears at night is Chanel number 5?

Gold nail polish- Gold nails are great for holiday parties.  Gold nails are very trendy at the moment.

Svedka Vodka limited editon “Party Bottle”-  Svedka Vodka is introducing its first ever limited edition “party bottle” in time for the holiday season.  The one of a kind bottle’s outrageous op art design, inspired by its 2033 heritage, will keep the party fun and fresh while instilling the same great taste the already established vodka brand has been offering since 1998.

Svedka’s limited edition 750 ml Party Bottle will be available for 12.50 at your local liquor store.

Macaroons:  Macaroons are airy, almond cookies with a creamy filling.  In the words of New York Times “A macaroon teases.  Dainty, nearly weightless.  It leaves you hungrier than you were before.  It is but a pre-lude to other pleasures.  Your slacker boyfriend gives you a cupcake.  Your lover gives you Macaroons.”  Macaroons are all the rage.  They come in a sexy box tied with a ribbon.

Sex and the City DVD box set (make sure the movies are included):  Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda have made TV history.  I know the show has been off the air for quite some time now.  Some of us were starting our search for Mr. Right when the show first aired and are still looking almost a decade after it aired its last episode.  However these women are our best friends for life.  They have supported us through our countless bad dates; offered us advice when we just couldn’t rationalize; and reassured us that there is absolutely nothing wrong with us.    These women have a permanent place in our hearts and our living rooms.

Framed picture of you and your sweetie- Those of us that have a significant other should use this time to be grateful for your lover.  Afterall, we are living in an era where the marriage rates have declined significantly and no one is actually making an effort to relinquish their single status.

Jessica Simpson’s Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend collection at Sales- Jessica Simpson is number 10 on Time Magazine’s top 10 comebacks for 2011.  This year, Jessica Simpson clothing label is expected to become the first celebrity clothing line to top 1 billion in annual sales, a total that puts the Texan singer on par with top designer Michael Kors.  Her fine jewelry line is a collection of hearts and butterflies and is taken from her script handwriting.

Subscription to a magazine-  If your friend likes to read magazines but doesn’t want to shell out the money on a subscription then now is the perfect time to get him or her a subscription.  A monthly magazine to his or her favorite is a great gift for Christmas.

If you and your sweetie are starting to get serious; then now would be a nice time to wrap up a key to your place in a red box.  Wouldn’t it be nice to cuddle more in the New Year?

Gift basket with your favorite Chic Flicks, Bars of Chocolate and popcorn in a gift basket.  Order your favorite chick flick DVD’s and make a gift box set for your friend’s viewing pleasure.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Xoxo

Monica Marwah

Monica Marwah

(Monica Marwah is a 30 something single school psychologist who enjoys living life to the fullest.  She is taking her experience and showing others how to believe in themselves and love themselves completely.  After years of dating and meeting people, she has come into her own.  Spirituality has been a foundation for self improvement for her and she is hoping to encourage people to embark upon a spiritual journey at this age.)

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India through the Window of a Bus

India blog - No Monkey business on the road to Agra

India on the Move

On the Delhi-Matura road heading out to Agra, as our pristine luxury bus merges into the sea of dusty, meandering trucks, lorries, buses, cars, scooters, cycles and the occasional camel, it is possible to see life being lived in the open.

From the window of this secluded and privileged world, I can see India whizzing by: ramshackle paan bidi shops; one man – one table entrepreneurships selling chole matter for Rs.15;  dingy snack shacks bursting with bottled water, chips, and of course Pepsi and Coke; helmet stands with colorful helmets positioned on the sidewalk; a sign ‘Hell or helmet’ which tells of people’s growing awareness of road safety; a mini roadside temple to the God Hanuman festooned with marigold garlands; and of course, people, people and more people everywhere.

At a faster and faster pace, India whizzes by my window: There’s the famous Apollo Hospital, a must stop for medical tourists and comparable to the best in the world; then come the unending showrooms for brand name automobiles – Jaguar, Toyota, Audi, Hyundai and many other brands  which my eye can’t quite catch. I see enormous flyovers and rushing trains which now connect Delhi.

India blog – Cars, auto-rickshaws and billboards

India’s Traffic Carnival

I see a sign ‘Horns Prohibited’ and wonder if I’m going to see a different, quieter India than the noisy one I saw back in 2000. But soon the cacophony of horns starts and the guide jokes, “Signs are just signs.” On we go, crossing over to Haryana, and you see the never-ending drama of India running parallel to the highway. You see the billboards for luxury goods and resorts, magnificent apartments and Bollywood stars. There’s Shah Rukh Khan and Don 2 promising surreal fantasy. And then there is real life, teeming real life being lived on the streets. Open air markets, whole families sqooshed on scooters, and banana sellers with their life’s assets in a wicker basket.  In a patch of greenery I spot a man lying with his head on the lap of another man, idly watching the bus go by.

India blog – Monkeys monkeying around in Agra

India on My Mind

As India whizzes by, I see laundry everywhere – hanging from lines on open verandahs, outside small huts and on vacant lots. You see small business enterprises – a barber shaving a customer in the open, in a small park adjacent to the highway. I wonder what his day will be like as he seems to whiz past my window. I will of course never know him, and he is oblivious of me flashing past in the white bus. Will he have a good life? Will he be happy? He is ust one of the billion plus people who call India home.

I wonder if I am counted in that billion plus? After all, I was born here and though I left many years ago India still speaks to me, still sings to me and still appears in my dreams. I am part of these multitudes – some of whom, like me,  are now dispersed to the far shores of a new land. Can I be part of India and part of New York too?  In an increasingly global world this no longer seems a foolhardy plan. In fact it is increasingly doable.

India blog – The drama of everyday life

As the bus gathers speed, New India rushes by on countless billboards for everything from Levis jeans to Royal Challenge Whiskey; malls, hotels and new buildings; construction everywhere adding to the dust of India. Cement seems to be the new god of creation with several cement companies competing for public attention. In fact cement seems so important to this new, developing India that one of the makes has splashed its name across small structures in the villages on the way to Jaipur.

India blog – Mayawati is everywhere in Agra

Ah, the drama of life on the road! Cars, auto rickshaws, scooters, tractors and lorries – and always spectators.  Wheels get changed, business transactions happen and there’s respite in the roadside dhabas set up with plastic lawn chairs and enormous pots of simmering tea. Villages and small towns fly past and the dhabas, which grandly call themselves ‘hotals’, are a constant, the comfort zone of the harsh highways.

It is ironic that to reach the grandeur of the Taj Mahal and the getaways of the lush five-star award-winning resorts, you have to pass through the drama of mundane everyday life – but really these lives are quite happy, with ups and downs, just like yours and mine.

India blog – India on the Move

(All photos (C) Lavina Melwani)

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