Late Bloomers R Us

LATE BLOOMERS WEAR DIFFERENT COLLARS…

2005-08-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

Based on the way I have presented things in the past articles, I could understand if someone would think that when I refer to a Late Bloomer, I am only talking about someone who goes from little or no ambition, straight into the Information Technology field. For this I apologize. Allow me to clarify.

I have known early bloomers who were motivated to learn some pretty brainy stuff; mathematics, sciences, computers…etc. These are the areas which would surely land them a higher-paying white-collar job later in life. The same holds true of those who are ambitious enough to learn the mechanics of an automobile, or the skills required to be a great carpenter or electrician. One of my best friends as a teen was heavily interested in cars. He was mechanically inclined and had the motivation to learn as much as he could. Right out of High School he attended Porter and Chester in Connecticut. The last I heard, he was making a great deal more money than I am. I have another friend who many people would not think of as a bloomer at all; early or Late. (I won’t mention in too much detail the facts, but only the basic idea.) He may be socially unskilled. He may be rough around the edges. But that man bloomed in his occupational field early in life and is now considered by many of my white-collared friends as a go-to guy for getting projects done…and done extremely well. So an early bloomer does not simply fit into the nice, clean and tidy world of white collars. There are many early bloomers who have some pretty grungy blue collars.

The same will hold true for the Late Bloomer. He does not need to go into the technology field in order to bloom. I worked in kitchens for most of my working life. But, being a Late Bloomer, I did not focus on my craft or hone my skills in the culinary arts. I did just enough to hold a job and get by. I understood the basics of sauces and cooking methods. I knew how to coordinate foods to go well together. I knew how to balance a meal. But anyone could do those things with minimal training. What I lacked was the motivation to take what I knew and make things better, even excellent. I lacked the motivation to learn to make things more appealing to the eye (which is 70% of all of the foodservice industry. Funny how I still remember that lesson in school). I was a chef for 20 years before I got out of the industry. But if I chose to bloom there, I could have.

For the Late bloomer, it is not a matter of a major career change but a major mind change about how he views his future. It is a matter of how he thinks about learning a new skill or accomplishing a new task. It is a matter of how aggressively he will go after achieving the next goal or task. So don’t think that you have to take all you know and chuck it to the dogs as irrelevant dumpster fodder. If you like what you are doing, then bloom where you’re planted. Grow your roots deeper and take in the nutrients needed to make the flowers more abundant. (I know…corny line.) You’ll have at least a working knowledge of what you do know, and the benefit of knowing what you don’t know. (Did you follow that?) But if a new career is what you want, think through it carefully. Remember. You will hit the “wall” and have to push through. So you had better be sure that you want to do what it is you decide to do.

LATE BLOOMERS FINISHING THE TASK…

2005-08-02T12:55:00.000-07:00

What you are reading right now is proof that tasks can be completed by Late Bloomers. When I listed out the tasks about a week ago, I actually doubted I would write them all out:

- Start small

- Get Motivated

- Talk about your task

- Ask for help

-Finish the task

-Start all over again

Seriously, I really doubted. I didn’t have all of the thoughts fully developed. Nor did I have the desire on some days to put forth the effort. Yet here it is; the last step to the “How does the Late Bloomer begin this trek” section. (I know, it looks like there is another one to come…but it’ll be tied in with this article.)

You may or may not have noticed that I took some precautionary measures to make sure I stuck to this thing.

First, I started it. That is, in and of itself, a huge step. If I don’t start…I don’t finish.
Second, I wrote out the steps in advance. I laid out what I was going to talk about to the whole WorldWideWeb so that I would have to finish or be ridiculed for being a hypocrite.
Third, I printed these out and showed them to others who don’t go online. This gave me incentive because I knew that they were going to ask me about the rest of this section.

I understand that finishing the task is the hardest thing to do. I know that motivation comes and goes in fluctuating amounts, even if you have help from other people, and the required skills and knowledge to get it done. The Late Bloomer rarely sees this side of the “wall” and therefore considers it a foreign place, viewed only by those who have drive, ambition, and a hunger for completing things. But here I am; a Late Bloomer sitting on the edge of a completed task. It feels pretty good, actually.

HEY YOU!!! WAKE UP!!! (I know…I know. Typing in all caps is considered yelling at someone online. Forgive the offense. I just needed to get your attention for a second.) Keep in mind that there will be times when, the closer you get to completion, the easier it is to slow down. This is similar to a marathon runner who knows he’s not going to win a race and complacently jogs across the finish line. Finish lines are meant to be crossed with fervor spawned by the thrill of completing the run. So don’t give it just enough energy to get the task completed. Give it all you have and put a deep notch on the “win” side of your “tasks completed” record book.

Now hold the thrill just a bit longer because it’s time to look the last step in the face which, ironically, is to start all over again. Yep. Grab your list of tasks and scratch off the easiest one. Now grab the next one and follow the same steps all over again. You will find that the more “wins” you have, the easier it will be to take on a task. You will even begin to look forward to them. Really.

LATE BLOOMERS ASK FOR HELP…

2005-08-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

As has been laid out in the past couple of articles, the Late Bloomer usually needs help from outside sources to stay motivated. He has a friend who acts as a motivator, and he has been talking about his task trying to find others who, themselves, are interested in that task. But I cannot deny that sometimes motivation is not all that is needed to complete a task. Sometimes more knowledge is needed. Sometimes skills are required that have not yet been acquired. The bigger the task, the more potential there is for further knowledge and skills. Therefore the Late Bloomer should not limit himself to his motivator and the insights gained from others alone. They may not possess the proper knowledge and skills needed. (Remember, your motivator is simply being a friend who will help you stay focused.) He must ask for help from outside of these sources. Let me describe a few of them.

This is the age of electronic data. There are millions (or more likely, billions and quite possibly trillions) of pages of data on the internet just waiting for someone to read them.

Is your task something a little more difficult than finishing a book as was the example used in previous posts? Perhaps it’s something that requires a bit of skill and extra knowledge (like replacing a deck or painting a room…ok…those are a bit large for the Late Bloomer to start with. Let’s try something simple like replacing an air filter on a car.) This is a topic close to my heart because just this morning I paid someone else to change the air filter on my own car. And judging by how quickly it was done, I am left to conclude that this is an extremely easy thing to do. So I will take a few minutes to find out if someone has posted this useful data on the internet. I’ll be right back…
Ok…I was online for about 20 seconds and I found this: http://www.ehow.com/how_112770_replace-air-filter.html
It came with instructions and a graphic. You gotta love the internet.

Are you not internet savvy? or perhaps you are not online at home? (Obvious question is “How are you accessing this?” But that’s trivial at this point.) If either one is the case, then try Barnes and Noble or Borders. You can go in there and read any book on the shelf for free. Take the time, take some notes, just don’t take it out of the store without paying for it.

But what if you don’t have all day to spend at a book store? What if you need to grab something off the shelf and get home? There is always the old standby otherwise known as “the library”. They have free videos and books for the taking. The variety and amount of information may not be up to Barnes and Noble standards, but if you live in a large city there is bound to be something useful there. You may perhaps find a book or video on the “how-to”s of auto mechanics. (The Late Bloomer will almost always choose a video over a book.) Who knows, you might get lucky and learn something more than just how to change an air filter.

Below are a few more you can try.

Free magazine subscriptions.

Try this spot first. http://freebies.about.com/od/magazinesubs
If you don’t find what you want there, then use Google or Yahoo, or whatever search engine you want. I have been receiving several free magazines for years relating to the IT industry. There is usually some great stuff in some of them.

Free email subscriptions.

If you don’t like clutter then try free email newsletters. If you look hard enough and keep your ears open you’ll find someone who has a free email newsletter chock full of information you can use. I get several every day. Some political, some technically oriented, and some just for fun.

Take a class.

If you are really ambitious you could take a course on the subject.

I am quite sure that there are other methods of getting whatever knowledge and skills are needed for you to complete a task. But these are a few that will help the Late Bloomer ask for help and actually get it.

LATE BLOOMERS, TALK IT UP…

2005-07-28T06:33:00.000-07:00

In the last article I discussed how a motivator can help you keep on track to finish tasks. Your motivator is a significant part of your life. He will assist you to your tasks completion and help you in your journey to a more mature character. However, and this may be hard to believe, but there is the possibility that your motivator will have a life outside of helping you. He may not be able to be there exactly when you need him to help you past the wall. He may even go on vacation for a week or two at a time and leave you stranded. Well, if there is no one around to hold you accountable or help you through the wall then that must simply mean you postpone the rest of your task, right? No way! That is a trap that looks as tempting as a glass of milk after a chocolate bar. Fear not, my fellow LBer. There are other ways of finding motivation and getting past the wall.

WARNING: very basic social skills coming up next.
I find that if I am interested in whatever task I am trying to accomplish, I will talk about it quite a lot. Sometimes others are interested, too. Sometimes they are not. If the person I am talking to is not interested, I stop talking about it and move on to something else. (end very basic social skills) However, if I find that the person I am talking to is actually interested in my task, two things tend to happen. First, I get a little more excited about it. Let’s face it. Knowing someone else is interested in your interests makes the interest even more interesting. (didja follow that?) And second, the conversations may lead to thoughts and insights that I may not have had regarding my task. And again, that makes it more interesting. Motivation increases as interest increases. There is no way it can not.

This next point is kind of a side issue, but it seems to fit in here, so here is where I’ll put it. I grew up thinking that a conversation with someone was…well…a conversation with someone. And to be sure, sometimes that is all it is. But I have observed something different in motivated people and their conversations. They have lots of conversations with people and listen for, and actually remember, key phrases that will help them with their task later. This was a new way of looking at how to converse. This way of conversing means that a great deal of attention must be paid to whatever is being said. I know people who seemed to have mastered this. (FYI: people love to talk to people who actually listen to them for content and not just because of friendship or because it would be rude not to listen. That is one of the necessary social skills upon which the Late Bloomer needs to improve. (I alluded to this in the article posted on 7/20/05.)

Your motivator may not always be available when you need him, but at least motivation can come from other sources. Find someone else who thinks it’s interesting and share one another’s thoughts and insights. Are you having trouble staying motivated? Talk it up.

LATE BLOOMERS, GET MOTIVATED...

2005-07-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

(To better understand what I mean about motivation, please refer to the article posted on 7/14/05.)

As was stated in the last article about how the Late Bloomer should begin his journey to “bloome-dom”, he must start small. But even this could be a challenge for the Late Bloomer. Motivation is the key to overcoming this challenge.

Regarding motivation, sometimes a Late Bloomer has had an epiphany. He woke up one morning and shouts, “I have ventured deep into my soul and find that, yea, verily motivation now dwells within my depths and forms the very central core of my being!”
I believe it safe to say that, for most of us, this is not the case. Most of us need some kind of external motivator. If you are the rare person about whom I spoke a second ago, feel free to skip the rest of this article and wait with bated breath for the next one. However, the other 99% come with me.

I trust that, because you are a Late Bloomer, you have always possessed adequate social skills (as was explained in the article posted on 7/20/05). That being said, it is safe to assume that you have friends; not just coworkers; not just casual acquaintances; not just neighbors to whom you wave and say “Good morning” as you both get in your cars to live your separate days. I am talking about friends who would be willing to help you out if you ask them. (I just heard about 100 guys scream from within, “I can’t do that! That would be like asking for help or something.” Yeah. That’s the point. You are a Late Bloomer because you didn’t get any motivation earlier in life, remember? It was before you found out that our society says it is shameful for a guy to ask for help with character issues. I have a question for you:

If society frowns upon a man who shows a bit of vulnerability, why is it then that you would help the friend who asks you for help? Are you not part of society? Do you not make up a small portion of this thinking world? The fact is, guys are willing to help one another because we care about and are loyal to one another. Those who say differently are either blinded by what is perceived as a societal norm, or just flat lying, both to themselves and to others.

Ok. So now you’re ready to ask for help. You are ready to receive external motivation. But what can this friend do for you that will help you be motivated? Glad you asked.

Did you know that there is such a thing as a personal coach? A very dear friend is a personal coach. I don’t know what she gets paid (nor is my business) but it is her business to help others accomplish tasks and achieve goals. I am asking you to ask a friend if they will help you by being your personal coach, henceforth referred to as your motivator. It could be your spouse, one of your friends, a family member; anyone who you feel is going to help you stick to your plan. Oh! Did I say plan? That just happens to bring me to my next point. Make a plan.

When a Late Bloomer looks at a task he can be intimidated by the thought of actually finishing it. There is occasionally the occurrence when he could go head-strong into a task because it looks like fun or it’s something he really wants to do. This may actually happen quite often. But if a Late Bloomer hits the wall before he has even decided to take on a task, then the task has to become less intimidating; hence, the plan.

Let me use the book analogy from the previous article.

If I think about finishing “Shut Up And Sing”, it seems a bit intimidating. Not so intimidating that I don’t believe I can do it; but intimidating enough that I won’t go full throttle into it. (FYI: this is not because it is not a good book. It is a great book, filled with just the kind of humor, sarcasm, and politics I enjoy.) So, I need a plan. First, I should find out how many pages left to finish it. Then I set a goal for when the book should be completed. Divide the number of pages by the number of days until the goal and commit to reading that many pages per day.

There you have it; a plan to start a not-too-simple but not-too-challenging task. It’s all really easy, except for that “commit” part. That infers something beyond just getting started. Enter: the motivator. Make it known to your motivator what your goal is and your plan to accomplish it. Your motivator will be able to help push you through the wall that you will inevitably hit once you get under way. He will help you through that paper wall and give you a bit of a push. And when you cross the finish line of your task, don’t forget to thank him for helping build your character.

LATE BLOOMERS START SMALL…

2005-07-26T10:07:00.000-07:00

Q.) How does the Late Bloomer begin to bloom?
A.) Start small.

The Late Bloomer must start small. The task to be tackled should not be monumental. This would more than likely result in another failure. Nor should the task be so miniscule that no real effort is needed. Instead it should be one that could be finished in a short amount of time, and take only slightly more motivation than is currently available. (This must be the case in order to be faced with the “wall”.)

As a Late Bloomer, I have ideas, thoughts, and projects that are just waiting for me to pounce on them and take action, (these articles being some of them.) I know for a fact that there are thoughts stored up in the heads of other Late Bloomers concerning things that they will surely do “when the time is right” or “when motivation is stronger”. I understand that it is difficult, but don’t fall into that trap. You’ve hit the wall even before you got started.

“So what is a reasonable task to start with”? Well, what are your interests? What do you think about doing “someday”? List them out and place them in order from the simplest to most difficult. Take the simplest one; is it at least a little challenging? Is it something you think you’ll finish…but have some doubt?

Example: I am prone to begin reading books and not finish them. Right now, I am in the literal middle of at least 5 books. Those would be “All Quiet on the Western Front”, “Shut Up and Sing”, “The Greatest Generation”, “Prophets”, and “Harry Potter”. I would automatically remove any Potter book from my list of books to finish because my wife and I read them out loud to one another, and it is assumed that we will finish it very quickly. Therefore, it takes zero effort to believe I will finish it. But as far as the rest of them are concerned, I question whether or not I’ll finish any of them. So I would take the one that I have the fewest pages left to before it is finished and get started where I left off. (I will discuss how to get motivated for this in the next article.) When that one is done, go to the next, and then do it again, and again. Before long, I have finished all the books.

After having done the above, not only will I finish some really great books, or perhaps not-so-great books, I will have begun training my character to finish tasks. I will have faced the wall in each instance and will have proven to myself that I really can finish the things I start, even when motivation is lacking. I then may look to a new task and have some historical basis on which to believe that I will finish it.

This is a very simple example to type out. And it is probably even easier to read. Even though the concept is simple, for the Late Bloomer…much more is demanded. The Late Bloomer must first find the motivation to take on the task at hand, and then find even more motivation to finish it. That will be covered in the next article.

THE LATE BLOOMER AND HIS “WINS”…

2005-07-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

Q.) How does a Late Bloomer overcome the lack of motivation, the wall, and the disadvantages associated with being a Late Bloomer? In other words: How does he bloom?

A.) He absolutely must get a few “wins” under his belt.

The main reason a guy will become a Late Bloomer is that he has lacked the character to finish difficult tasks. That characteristic was not built earlier in life. Such is not the case with the early bloomer. Therefore, when a Late Bloomer looks back on his years and sees more than a few unfinished tasks, he can easily be convinced that he will almost never finish anything. He has racked up too many failures to believe otherwise. He must begin to get “wins” under his belt.

Getting “wins” is not about gaining confidence. Confidence can be false. Anyone can talk themselves into being confident even when they ought not to be. However, confidence will be the by-product of getting “wins”. This is about building the character to get beyond the wall that has stopped him so many times in the past. This is about being able to look back and see more than failures. This is about being able to see accomplishments. A Late Bloomer absolutely must be able to take on a difficult task without having to be haunted by past failures. The more “wins” a Late Bloomer has, the more apt he is to finish a task. He sees that he has in the past. He knows his character has been built. He sees the wall for what it is: a paper wall that is no longer insurmountable, but thin, and brittle. He has a bit more motivation to push on simply because he now knows he has before and can again.

But how does the Late Bloomer begin this trek?
- Start small
- Get Motivated
- Talk about your task
- Ask for help
-Finish the task
-Start all over again

The next several articles will explain these in more detail.
(I would do that now…But Late Bloomers typically don’t like to read lengthy articles.)

THE ADVANTAGED LATE BLOOMER…

2005-07-20T08:43:00.000-07:00

Q.) Are there any advantages to being a Late Bloomer?
A.) Yes. But they are limited. (sorry)

Throughout the past week or so I have taken the time to go through the major issues regarding Late Bloomers. If you qualify yourself as a Late Bloomer, then you may be a bit depressed after reading the previous articles. Fret not my fellow LBer. There are some positives about being a Late Bloomer. And there are some exercises which can be employed to help escape the stigma of being a Late Bloomer. (These will be discussed at a later date.)

So, though there are only a few advantages to being a Late Bloomer, I believe them to be significant. CAUTION: I am going to make broad generalizations in this article. They are not accurate in every case. But I believe in most instances they are accurate. For one thing, even as a child the Late Bloomer possessed the social skills to get along with people and make friends fairly easily. And for another, he knows a little about a lot of things, giving him an appealing person to talk to. I will discuss both of these in this article.

Let me begin with his social skills. The Late Bloomer was typically not perceived as quirky or strange. He was, as we so indecently say, “a normal kid”. He may have even been popular and very well known, even liked by most of the kids who met him. Social skills were not a problem.

Now advance into the Late Bloomers’ 20s, 30s, and 40s. He has not lost his ability to meet new acquaintances or make new friends. He has developed into a very likable person. He, if he works at it, can use these social skills to convince a potential employer to consider him a strong candidate for employment. He must continue to develop his social skills even further to be an endearing person. Why? because his résumé won’t stack up against that of the early bloomers’. It will usually pale in comparison. If an employer is looking at two résumés, one from the Late Bloomer and one from the early bloomer, he will no doubt look more favorably upon the early bloomers’. This is not the arena for the Late Bloomer to take his stand when up against an early bloomer. He will, however, be equal to an early bloomer at socialization. When I am in a conversation about whatever, that person should not be able to tell I am a Late Bloomer simply because I don’t come across as ignorant. Nor do I come across as arrogant (at least I hope not on both accounts). As a matter of fact, the person should be able to pick up on how versatile I seem at many things. This is the appeal of the Late Bloomer which I will discuss next.

DISCLAIMER: please do not misunderstand me. I am absolutely not implying that early bloomers are all arrogant. I know some who are and some who are not. The same holds true for Late Bloomers. I am simply saying that I, personally, should not come across as arrogant.

The appeal of the Late Bloomer is to shine in general conversation. He may not be a master of any particular trade, but he knows a little bit about a lot of things. Remember, he has begun many tasks, hit many “walls”, and quit many things. (Refer to the article posted on 7/15/05.) Because of this, he has at least a basic understanding of nearly everything he has attempted to do. He is relatable. If a Late Bloomer talks to people about his interests, the things he has learned, done, or understands, in casual conversation, eventually someone will either say, “Hey, I was looking for someone who knew how to do that.”, or perhaps, “You know, I have a friend who was asking if I know anyone with those skills. Can I give him your number?”

I know what you are thinking. “That is such a rare occurrence. It will not happen often in real life.” I offer up a hearty “No it is not”! First of all, it is what happened to me. I am in the job I have now just because someone knew someone who was looking to hire a good employee who had “such-and-such” skills. I had no formal training, no actual work experience, and a resume that represented 20 years as a chef, not technology. Second of all, there is a term for this: it’s called “networking”. It’s not a new concept. It’s just that most Late Bloomers have never done it. But this is the arena in which the Late Bloomer stands a chance. Here, in this arena, he can prove his value, skills, and semi-newfound strength of character and ambition.

No, the positives are not plentiful; although I am sure there are more than just the two I mentioned. But utilize the social skills that have been an asset in the past to make friends and acquaintances, and talk about the things you have learned through your work experiences, somewhat limited education, and hobbies, and you will eventually find people who are at least, interested, or at most, in need of, the skills and knowledge you have acquired.

One more thing before I let you go. Keep your own ear open as you talk to people. You may be able to help them out. Just think: the person to whom you are speaking could also be a Late Bloomer. That person may also be in the same boat as you. Far be it from any of us Late Bloomers to not help one another get a leg up.

THE DISADVANTAGED LATE BLOOMER…

2005-07-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

Q.) What is the main disadvantage of being a Late Bloomer?

A.) The Late Bloomer is not up against his peers. He is up against high school kids!

The Late Bloomer did not build a strong character or gain worthwhile skills during the formative years, as did early bloomers. Therefore, when the Late Bloomer begins to bloom, usually in his 30s, he is focused on the same educational and maturational goals as an early bloomer just out of high school who is 10 to 15 years his junior. Both are getting the same lessons from the same colleges using the same books. So what exactly are the disadvantages?

The disadvantages are 3 fold:

The dogs

Money matters

Real responsibilities

First up: The dogs.

I have never believed that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. But I will admit that the phrase was not born out of thin air. It is simply more difficult for the Late Bloomer than it is for an early bloomer to catch on to learning today’s technologies. The early bloomer, fresh out of high school, is already familiar with these technologies because they are introduced in high school, and because he is an early bloomer he has already taken the time to study and understand them. I have talked to high school juniors and seniors who already understand computer programming languages and other technologies. These are, at worst, foreign, or at best, introduced in non-formal ways, to the Late Bloomer.

Let’s discuss study habits. It is extremely difficult for a Late Bloomer to learn the proper study habits and skills that he should have learned during his school years. The early bloomer, fresh out of school, has already taken the time to build these habits and skills.

These things said, it naturally follows that the young buck will have the advantage over the Late Bloomer regarding learning new technologies and study habits; not to mention that the Late Bloomer has long since forgotten anything he learned in high school regarding all things math, science, and English (assuming he learned them at some level in the first place).

Next up: Money Matters:

By “money matters” I am not referring to matters about money, at least not the way it seems to be implied. I am referring to the fact that money matters. It matters to the Late Bloomer much more than to the high school grad. In many cases the graduate is fairly well set up for his college years. He may have parents who have set up funds for tuition, room, and board; or perhaps just tuition with the expectation that their new college student will stay at home during those years. If the case is such that the parents did not, or simply could not, set up such an arrangement, there are school loans, grants and a whole host of other pools from which to draw money. The point is that the high school grad is typically not overly concerned about the money or its source. He knows he will get it because he is an early bloomer and has the motivation to find it. He is even willing work for what he needs. (I will talk about this in a second. Hang on.)

The Late Bloomer is not so at ease. Chances are that the Late Bloomer is already married, possibly with children. If he does not have a mortgage payment yet, then he will have a rent payment. He is also feeling the pressure of all that rent money going out the window straight into another person’s wallet. (And the other person is probably an early bloomer anyway, so there’s a bit of salt on the wound for ya’.) The late bloomer is focused on getting bills paid, usually maintaining at least one car, and trying to save a bit of money for a house or family or repairs or vacation or whatever. And because he is a Late Bloomer, he doesn’t make enough to cover all of that, which is why he is now, in his 30s, trying to catch up to everyone else his age. And he, like the early bloomer, is willing to work for what he needs.

One more point about “Money Matters”. I have stated that both the early bloomer and the Late Bloomer are willing to work for what they need. There is a huge difference between the two. One is working to support himself. The other is working to support himself and probably a wife and family. (The truly blessed Late Bloomer would be the one who discovers that he is at a disadvantage before marriage and children come into the picture.) It therefore stands to reason that the Late Bloomer needs more money. That perhaps seems like a loose argument with many hanging treads to pull it apart. But I would stack my financial needs/goals up to any high school graduate and I think the argument stands up pretty well. Sure. The freshly graduated kid may not get into a job that pays great amounts of cash (or perhaps he will, who knows). But play out the scene for 4 years and you’ll find that the early bloomer has received his 4 year degree while the Late Bloomer is struggling to get his 2 year degree in that same 4 years. The early bloomer has given it his full attention while the Late Bloomer has been distracted by responsibilities. This obviously brings me to my next point: Real Responsibilities.

Real Responsibilities:

This will be a quick point.
The distractions that keep the Late Bloomer from being so focused on his education are not at all distractions for the kid out of high school.

Being a college student at the age of 40, with a wife, a 4 year old, a two year old, and a two bedroom apartment, a 40 hour a week job, a 1 hour commute each way, and yet still trying to maintain a social life, is…well…hard. It just is. I don’t know anyone who says it’s easy.

The Late Bloomer has real responsibilities. The freshman at college? he just don’t!

So there you have it. The Late Bloomer is not up against his peers. He is up against high school graduates. And he is at a disadvantage because of: The Dogs, Money Matters, and Real Responsibilities.

THE LATE BLOOMERS' EDUCATION...

2005-07-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

Q.) What is the Late Bloomers’ educational status going into his thirties?

A.) Typically none to very little. A Late Bloomer does not see the essentiality of a formal education, (you know…one that produces a piece of paper saying he actually finished something). There are obviously people who have received an education straight out of high school and earned a degree, only to realize that if they poured more effort into it they might have been better than a “C” average college student. I suppose this is also Late Blooming, just not to the degree I am speaking. To be a true Late Bloomer, the realization that a degree is something that would be a significant benefit comes somewhere between 30 and 40 years of age. (Man, I make it sound like it’s a club or something.)

You want some proof of that? Here you go:
I am currently getting my AA in Computer Science and will graduate this year. I am 40 and have been working at this 2 year degree for nearly 5 years. I have taken all of my classes during the evening hours, and do you know who else is in those classes? You guessed it: a bunch of Late Bloomers. On average, the class is made up of folks in their early 30s to mid 40s trying now to achieve what they could not have achieved earlier in life: Their college degree. The“motivator” was not there, and so the attempt was either non-existent or, at best, feeble. (Refer to article post on 7/13/05.) There are a few young’ns in the classes. To be sure, they are not Late Bloomers. Quite the contrary, these kids are go-getters at an early age. Some take night classes during their first summer break after graduating high school simply because they want to get started and can’t wait for September. (The Late Bloomer cannot relate to this alien mindset.)

I would be very curious what the average age is of the folks who participate in continuing education. (I will probably do this research later rather than sooner so don’t hold your breath. I am a Late Bloomer, after all!)

Another point I would like to make is that Late Bloomers usually get far better grades in college than they did in high school. For example: My average grade in high school was around a low “C”. My average grade in college is a mid “A”. (I have two “B”s to my name, one in a math class and one in a programming class, both of which I hated. I did, however, scratch and claw for those “B”s and feel great about them. And I just got my midterm grade for my current class: 99%).

Why is there such a difference in the grades of the past compared to the grades of the present? Because I am now equipped with a motivator (again, refer to article posted 7/13/05). I believe my initial motivator was my wife, Lisa. She encouraged me to go for it. She constantly believed in me even when I thought the class was too hard. When I wanted to settle for a “C”, (which, after all, is better than quitting, right? Well, yes…but not much.), Lisa would clear the path for me to push on through the “wall” (refer to the article posted 7/15/05). She took care of the kids, she kept up the house, and she would ask me how it’s going. Although she continues to do all these things still, I find my motivator is much more internal. My character has been built. I have learned to get past the“wall”. I don’t settle for a mediocre effort. I even feel extreme pressure if Iam struggling in a class.
I WANT THAT “A”!

I talk to the folks with whom I take classes. I ask them how they are doing in the class and why they are now trying to get their degree. I am usually not surprised by the answers. I simply become more and more aware of the fact that I am not an anomaly. I am a Late Bloomer, just like millions and millions of others getting their 2 year degrees in their 30s and 40s.

THE WALL...

2005-07-15T11:36:00.000-07:00

Q.) What is the “wall” that I keep talking about?

With any task, there is the potential to hit a “wall”. With any difficult task, there shall definitely be a “wall”. It all boils down to “difficulty” vs. “desire”. The wall is the point at which the desire to complete a task is overtaken by the difficulty of completing that task. All Late Bloomers hate this wall. When a Late Bloomer sees the wall, a task that seemed interesting, or even fun at one point, becomes something that will require more effort than he is willing to put out.

Not all Late Bloomers hit the wall at the same point. Given the same task to two Late Bloomers, one may hit the wall before the other.

Example: Let’s say the task is to learn to draw. The method chosen to start this adventure is to read book recommended by a friend who is an artist and has obviously benefited from this book called “Learn to Draw”. Both of the Late Bloomers will go full speed ahead to learn to draw because this is something they find fun and interesting, (or at the very least, he could use the skills to advance his career). The first Late Bloomer starts to
get the concept of angles and lines. He even begins to draw things that look like they could be something. But then he comes to the chapter on shading. It is a concept that is not easily grasped, at least not by him. After a few attempts, the enthusiasm wanes. The time and effort put in become less and less until neither time nor effort exist. He has hit the wall. The second Late Bloomer made it past shading but found that the concept of color charts and color coordination were not easy to understand. And he, too, hits the wall. In both cases, the Late Bloomers learned some basics that would qualify as "just enough to get by" but not qualify as proficient. (In case you didn’t know, this is a personal example.)

Understand this: the wall doesn’t stop a Late Bloomer early on in a task every time. It stops a him at any point prior to the task’s completion, be it a book, a project, a hobby, an advancement, or whatever. And as a result, a Late Bloomer will end up knowing a little bit about many things, rarely becoming excellent at anything.

If the character was built to plow through the wall during the formative childhood years, using whatever motivator was available, the Late Bloomer would not be a Late Bloomer. He would be a confident, tenacious, persistent early bloomer.

Next up…THE LATE BLOOMERS’ EDUCATION.

The Motivator...

2005-07-14T05:17:00.000-07:00

Q.) So what separates the Late Bloomer from the early bloomer?

The early bloomer either possessed an inborn ambition to push himself through the “wall” when the tasks become difficult, (I will discuss the “wall” at a later date) or, if the ambition was not inborn, then there was at least an outside motivator. That motivator could have been a parent who did not let the child settle for mediocrity, or perhaps a teacher or mentor or coach who pushed the child past the “wall” that is inevitably hit when facing challenging tasks. But no matter where the source of the motivation lay, whether from within the child or without, the fact stands that there was a motivator.

The Late Bloomer did not have a motivator; neither inborn nor external. Therefore, when a Late Bloomer faces a challenging task, and he sees the “wall” at which point the task becomes “more work than it’s worth”, quitting is usually the only option visible. In many cases, pushing through is not even a thought. And since there was no motivator, the tasks did not get accomplished; the skills were not developed; the tenacity was not built in to the character; and quitting became easier with each task.

This is what I believe to be the most prominent separator of early and Late Bloomers. There are of course other factors, but none more significant than the motivator.

The Blooming Beginning

2005-07-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer…I am not politically correct. When I type things like “he spends his
youth” and yet you know that I am referring to both males and females, do not
take offense. I am writing this with my own personal experience in mind. I am a
male/boy/man/he/his…etc. Therefore I will use the male gendered version of the
pronouns, unless of course I am speaking about a female/girl/woman/she/her…etc.

Q.) What is a Late Bloomer?

A late bloomer is someone who, as a child, was intelligent, thoughtful, and
capable, but did not apply intelligence, thoughtfulness, and capability until
late in life (typically in their thirties).

I am not talking about someone who did not possess the raw talent, intelligence and potential to be successful. They fall into a different category. I am not slamming anyone. I am simply pointing out that there are different types of people:

People who can and do,
People who can and don’t,
People who can’t and don’t,
And yes, I am mindful of the rare person who can’t and did.

This site is dedicated, no…devoted to those of us who fall into the category of “People who can but don’t”.

The late bloomer spends his youth focused on fun and that is pretty much it. He doesn’t take the time to address other areas of life that are crucial for development. Those areas are perseverance, tenacity, education, confidence, and many others like them.

Let me ask some questions:

Do you have a tendency to be a quitter? You know, you start a lot of things, but quit as soon as you get to a difficult point. (This will be a major topic in the future.)
Are you a Jack-Of-All-Trades, but master of none? This is a direct result of the above question.
Do you get frustrated when someone else learns something effortlessly and thoroughly, yet you have to scratch and claw to get the basic concepts?
Do you ever think back to your childhood and think “If only I had put the time in back then, I would not be playing catch-up now?

If you answered “yes” to these questions, then this site is for you. It is for all of us who are blooming later in life. Do you know someone who is a Late Bloomer? Then pass this site along to them, as well.

In the future I will be posting thoughts, ideas, facts, and anything else that doesn’t fall into these categories relating to being a Late Bloomer. Stick around. Stick your two cents in. And stick together.