Latent Thoughts

Star Light

2013-12-13T14:35:00.000+05:00

"Star Light"

Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

I admit, it is my mistake

2013-12-11T12:34:00.000+05:00

LINK

*She is the worst woman I've seen in my life*

... five seconds later it hit me, "I should not have said that", not to someone who is a complete stranger to who I was referring here. I went from counselling a friend about career aspirations to something personal.. okay maybe the word "complete stranger" is a little far fetched, he is a friend but not a friend who knows my life.

*I admit, it is my mistake*

But I realized, I have a lot built up inside me.. grudges and complaints.. things that have some how affected me, emotionally. Its just that regardless of all the cribbing and the built up aggression, none of my actions will change the situation because its not mine. Yes I'm affected because my entire surrounding is affected and the elements keep driving me against the wall.

A friend told me to write whatever it is on a piece of paper, write till I have nothing left inside me that I have not expressed and then burn it. *Not sure if that will help*, I don't see the ash changing me any time soon. I will still give it a try.

What's your way of expression? Leave me a comment...

Cut Me Loose

2013-12-10T13:20:00.000+05:00

'Cause I don't have the time

And I don't have the patience

What do you take me for

Why must I wait

'Cause while you decide

I'm fucking suffocating

'Cause if you can't find the time

My bleeding heart won't make it

Chase and Status - Roger Sanchez

Here is to Moving on

2013-11-24T16:12:00.003+05:00

Recently I read a lot of those break up blogs and people writing about how they were able to move on and accept that 'it-was-never-meant-to-be". Gotta say some of them were quite vocal about their hate for what their X did to them.

Fast forward, this one particular girl wrote sensibly; actually too sensibly when explaining that people come and go. It's just how life is. You cannot make people stay against their will. After she described her story I felt that sense of connection with her posts, they started to make sense to me. My own situation started to make sense to me.

I sat down quietly one night, thinking about it. Thinking about how the whole situation was impacting only me and my overall surrounding, how it was driving up my rage *I had three near-miss-accident-moments*.

Keeping her words as my anchor, I decided to let go of this entire episodes, let go of things that are no longer in my control. I'm a huge fan of self-improvement and I read/listen/talk a lot about this 'become-a-better-human-being' stuff, everywhere, in every talk this one particular tip kept popping up. "Make peace with your past", rightly said, whatever happened in the past should stay in the past. If it affects your present, you're still stuck somewhere in memories or conversations, may be EMAILS that keep reminding you of your past relationship. Let them all go.

Frankly, whatever I've written above can be summed up in just one phrase "accept that it was not meant to be in the future". It helps, it gives you the courage to pull through. And if possible, respect the choices you two make, understand them. We are all living, breathing human beings, let's just stay that way.

Peace.

~LT

What Hurts the Most - Dedicated to Difficult Times

2013-11-22T07:04:00.000+05:00

Music connects with you me nothing else in this world. For those who understand and connect with lyrics and not just listen to them, this track is somehow very close to my heart.

"What Hurts The Most"

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m OK
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that love in you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say (much to say)
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that love in you
Is what I was trying to do, oh.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say (to say)
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that love in you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that love in you
That’s what I was trying to do

[link] http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rascalflatts/whathurtsthemost.html

How Many Times Do You Let Go???

2013-11-20T19:11:00.000+05:00

So far letting go has been the most difficult thing I have to face in my life. Letting go of my dream to become a doctor, letting go of my first love, letting go of *trying* to fix people, situations and everything related.
You can't fix everything that comes your way. You can't hold on to everything.

All over the internet, blogs, forums, discussion its mentioned that something has to go to make way for something better, something bigger, something more beautiful. Someone has to go to make space for someone else.

We are all humans, we have regrets, we have moments when we get carried way trying to grab on to things that are no longer meant to happen.. "meant to happen", funny as it may sound, things that come your way are meant to happen similarly things that move away are meant to happen too..

I just have one questions that will always bug me, how many times do you let go??

Give it a thought, tell me what you think?

Stay safe.

~LT

Confessions ~ LT

2013-11-07T22:48:00.000+05:00

"It has been four days, I've not slept properly. Hardly four hours of sleep these days. Everyday. Insanity prevails.

Last night was no different. I felt sick, a sinking feeling ever since I left work. When I finally managed to block the conversations in my head, I closed my eyes and dozed off. Fast forward to 2am, I woke up.. My room chilly due to the winter breeze and dark all around.

My head still heavy from the dream I saw. I sat up, rubbed my eyes and wondered why? Though for a short while, we were together. How long has it been? Seems like an eternity to me, I've not spoken to you in the same manner like I used too, I've not held your hand. The dream felt so real, I could hear your voice, touch you, kiss you. But it was only a dream.

It's day 37 today, it has all changed. Everything. Nothing feels right to me. Nothing makes sense anymore. I don't know if asking you "why" will even matter now. With each passing day I'm losing my sanity and my will to act surprised or react given the situation.

I was happy back then, very happy. I used to dream, dream of our future. A future you promised that we'd have, in your messages.. in your emails.. in your words.. I still have them you know, they are my window to a life I did not have with you."

A Reason? - Pink

2013-10-16T10:56:00.002+05:00

"Just Give Me A Reason" (feat. Nate Ruess)

Right from the start
You were a thief
You stole my heart
And I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them

Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh
Things you never say to me, oh, oh
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

I'm sorry I don't understand
Where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine
(Oh, we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have everythin'
And it's all in your mind
(Yeah, but this is happenin')

You've been havin' real bad dreams, oh, oh
You still lie so close to me, oh, oh
There's nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love, our love
Oh, our love, our love

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
I never stopped
You're still written in the scars on my heart
You're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Oh, tear ducts and rust
I'll fix it for us
We're collecting dust
But our love's enough
You're holding it in
You're pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We'll come clean

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Oh, we can learn to love again
Oh, we can learn to love again
Oh, oh, that we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

~LT

https://twitter.com/BaySabra

September - Chirs Daughtry

2013-10-06T10:45:00.002+05:00

September - Chirs Daughtry

"September"

How the time passed away? All the trouble that we gave
And all those days we spent out by the lake
Has it all gone to waste? All the promises we made
One by one they vanish just the same

Of all the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Now it all seems so clear, there's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long that summer's moving on
We reach for something that's already gone

Of all the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
We would end up here the way we are
Yeah we knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how

Of all the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Link: [http://grooveshark.com/s/September/3lqIu6?src=5]

~LT

twitter.com/latent_thoughts

The Breakup Song

2013-10-06T00:45:00.000+05:00

A friend of mine went through a messy break-up. Now, that's a situation where no one can do anything for you, heck even the people breaking up can't do much about it. There is always a reason. That's what I've heard. This is Gotye, with somebody I used to know.

"Somebody That I Used To Know" (feat. Kimbra)
[Gotye:]
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
[Kimbra:]
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know
[Gotye:]
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
[x2]
Somebody
(I used to know)
Somebody
(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)
(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
Somebody

I Found My Spark. Thank you @sushichronicles

2013-09-30T11:04:00.000+05:00

Hi, writing after a long time. Felt like talking my heart out. Working professional might understand this post a lot better.

Lately, I've been having this itch to move around, go places, meet new people and most important to advance my career in the right direction. A very good friend of mine (www.twitter.com/@sushichronicles) has been pushing me to "think", think about where I want to go, what is that I actually want to do with my life.

*Flashback* I was sitting in a hospital one day, looking at people walking-in but what caught my eyes were the young professionals. The young doctors who spoke like true masters of their field. What I wanted to become myself, once.

Sounds like a story right? Well, it's not a story, all of this did happen. I wrote to my friend while sitting there and told her what I'm feeling. We spoke for a while and I was able to find that spark I had in 2006 about my career, about my future. Things I wanted to do, things I wanted to become. Something; Someone big. It's a dream, a goal, its all mine.

Here is what I'm going to do, I'm going to buy a note book, and I will write all my career objective in it and I will use it as a map to take me where I want to go.

Wish me luck and thank you @sushichronicles

~LT

twitter.com/latent_thoughts

Can WP8 replace Android in my life?

2013-08-31T18:04:00.000+05:00

via Google.com

Hello everyone, just a quick post.. rather a question. Yesterday, I sold my beloved Samsung Galaxy S2 and now I'm in a fit on what to buy.

The debate is to go for Android again or skip the bandwagon and grab the Windows Phone 8.

Frankly, I've always had a soft corner for Nokia (always loved their phones) so I am considering the Lumia 920, so its Samsung Galaxy S3 versus Nokia Lumia 920.

Let me know how was your experience with the WP8 and is it a good idea to buy the 920 here in Karachi?

Best,

~LT

After two months

2013-08-25T18:00:00.001+05:00

Hello to who ever is reading this, I'm writing after God knows how many months.. So yea, two months have passed since the move big ('pull kay us par' as other call it) and 30% of the house is still not properly done.

I have so many thing to do on my hand, like;

A) Arrange my room

Fix the book shelf
Fix the drawers
Fix my life

B) Take time out to exercise

Oil the jogging machine
Find my will power
Buy new running shoes

C) Fix my drawing room

Actually set it up
Try to remember where did we give the carpet for washing
Find my will power

On the other hand, in six days my two years in the Corporate will complete, my MBA will start soon.. Life feels to be going in the right direction, great companions came my way.

*Fingers crossed*

Elections -11th May - 2013

2013-05-12T12:19:00.001+05:00

How many of you voted?

Post Voting Thumb Pic

I know I did, this 'ink-factory-worker' thumb of mine is a proof I did, also, I voted for "PTI", this is to document it. I know many others did too. It was the wise decision to make, we all understand that.

You know who was wiser? The people of KPK, they wanted change, they voted for change; the question is, is that Change going to happen?

Trust me this is random mumbling, I'm very depressed knowing that the people I voted against, are back in power. Guess there are bigger idiots out there than we thought. A friend just told me PPP took 65 seats. No shit, nothing changes in the next five years.

Did I mention, Imran Khan was able to do a clean sweep in KPK? Didnt'we all wish that we were from KPK at the very moment. Man, that guy was able to move tonsof people in his favor.

I'm praying for Pakistan, then Karachi. Makes sense to me.

~ LT

Say No To Guns ~ LT

2013-04-27T22:41:00.003+05:00

Unfortunate turn of events yesterday and day before that when various bombs went off in Karachi.. Today was no less unfortunate; just no one died in what I will try to explain in this post.

Its a series of events that occurred, and as the title says, its about 'Display of Arms and Ammunition' by a political activist after a dead body was released from Abbasi Shaheed Hospital, Karachi.

It was roughly around 1 pm, the sun was up as intense as it could be. Traffic jam at the Abbasi Shaheed Signal (Nazimabad #7, opposite Imtiaz Super Market) is routine to the locals. I was waiting for the signal to turn green; I noticed that the Police-Walas were backing up their vehicle to the very corner and asking bystanders to backup against the shops, I thought it must be some rally or some VIP movement but then again but I was not suspecting some activist would vent their anger out on the traffic.

Within moment, aerial firing...panic...people running haywire. I was like @#*&$& now? One of the activist got out of his car and started firing on the Police standing near by. Man, I tell you, Shit got scary today. I was only 100 meters away, third car in the row. I don't understand how was that honoring whoever was in the Ambulance behind 'that' car, or why would they resort to creating panic on such a busy intersection but I have to say, God saved me and all the others.

~ LT

I've always wanted to live near the Sea ~ LT

2013-04-21T21:58:00.000+05:00

I've had this thing for the Sea as long as I can remember. I would be all excited just by the thoughts to visiting the seaside.. Funny thing; that stopped happening ever since I grew up.

I recall, one of the best birthday I've ever had was the one we celebrated by visiting the Sea. Thank God I live in Karachi for that matter.

In short, I've always wanted to live by the sea, if not exactly near it then at least within driving range.

Oh, and house hunting sucks...!

~ LT

In Loving Memory of Furrukh Hussain ~ LT

2013-04-20T20:30:00.001+05:00

In loving memory of Furrukh Hussain, a friend, a brother,
a classmate.

I still remember that good looking guy with a sparkling white dress shirt sitting in the class, hazel eyes, well built muscular body and a friendly attitude. Its hard to imagine that we studied together for four years and now; he is gone. May your soul forever rest in peace bro.

Frankly, I am still in shock. I, myself saw his body all wrapped in white being lowered into that dark pit, the final resting place but its hard to accept. May be cause humans are like that or may be I am like that.

I still recall, sitting with Hussain (that's what we used to call him in University) discussing various issues about Pakistan (cursing every single govt body), asking Hussain for tips on how to have a more lean and mean body (Furrukh was very enthusiastic about hitting the Gym on regular occasions) or our random trips to Shazz (near National Stadium) for movie night. His words, his memories are still clearly preserved in my mind.

I will always remember Furrukh Hussain as the lively, handsome guy from my BBA batch of 2008-2010 who was there to help any and everyone who he could.

~ LT

There was once an Earthquake ~ LT

2013-04-16T23:46:00.000+05:00

"Stop shaking my chair, I've got to finish this proposal", said my co-worker who did not realize I was standing like some status because the tremors kept coming.

Today was the day I experienced my first ever earthquake. That slight shaky feeling when the earth is moving. Ok, may be that's not the best way to mention an earthquake experinence.

Therefore this is in loving memory of my first Earthquake experience.

Unreliable - People ~ LT

2013-04-13T20:58:00.002+05:00

Funny as it may sound but by breed, 'humans' have to be the most unreliable ever..

At the very first hint of achieving what they wanted, they will vanish. Just bolt out in thin air, as if nothing existed between two humans ever. humans are unreliable. Period.

Donate us your time; not money ~ LT

2013-04-10T10:00:00.002+05:00

INITIATIVE (noun)

1. The power or ability to begin or to follow through energetically with a plan or task; enterprise and determination.

One tiny word, underneath meanings that can project mankind to a safer, more secure future. Where does it all start? In a small, cosy office in Defence owned by Menrva Enterprises. 29 March, I was invited to the briefing of one such initiative. Sitting in a mid sized room with the back wall painted a subtle shade of red with 5 other people. I was greeted by Mohsin, CEO of Menrva Enterprise; interesting chap, running his own business, taking up responsibilities. Dressed in blue jeans and a checkered shirt, Mohsin explained us the reason behind why he wanted to start this initiative for education. Convincing reason, I give you that.

What made me write this post today is to share my opinion on how important it is for us all to strive in our own capacities and do something. I questioned Mohsin Why; why the sudden need to contribute and do something for the society. Under 30, but armed with ambition, Mohsin replied, "Because, I was the privileged one; others are not". This was the selling point, this is where I suddenly realized the power behind this one word, "privilege" what most of us take for granted our entire life just cause our parents could afford it.

Later during the evening when we were through the ground-work plan, Mohsin added that donations are easy as well as guilt free. You just donate a share of your income and expect the world to be a better place. Menrva Foundation wants people to invest/donate their time in this project to mold this dream into a reality. I believe everyone who was there that day, shared the zeal to do something for the society.

You can find out more about Menrva Foundation and their plans here https://www.facebook.com/MenrvaFoundation?fref=ts. If you can donate us your time, or if you have worked on such projects in the past, your input will add immense value to our efforts. Follow us on Facebook for regular updates.

~ LT

The Lure of Wordpress ~ LT

2013-04-04T22:26:00.001+05:00

I've been on blogger since 2009. This blog is that old. Although I lost my zeal for blogging a long time back but I never let go of it.

Lately, I've been wanting to try out Wordpress.com; will probably make a new blog. Different topic, different viewpoint.

Who knows, I might end up liking it.

~ LT

We All Need A Life Coach ~ LT

2013-03-17T20:28:00.001+05:00

There is no shame in asking for Help

Lately, I've been looking for someone to talk to, about a lot of things stuck in my mind. Questions that need answers, thoughts that need an expression. Stuff I can not discuss with my friends and family. Its funny how everything is labeled under "depression" these days; people do not understand depression. Sometimes, its just the lack of expression or understanding that renders us useless. Career choices of example, whoever I consulted for career related questions gave me the same answer "you have to figure our what you like to do". Like seriously, if I was able to do it, why will I talk to you in the first place. Duh!

I contacted a couple of people, spoke to them; either their charges were sky high or I just could not connect with THEM on an emotional level. In my case, logic does not dictate my decision, its a matter of heart. The thing is without knowing the credibility, you just can't accept any one as a Coach, as a Counselor. Its a matter of following someone, may be idolizing them.

Luckily, I came across this one person who is experienced and understands what it means to coach someone. And best of all, been coaching on regular basis to many other like me.

We connected on a very initial level, in my opinion, the best thing is being able to open up, to be able to talk without the fear of being judged. I'm so looking forward the my regular sessions.

I know there are people like me who are looking for answers, not everyone is good at solving their own matters, help is a good way to stop from making mistakes. You can talk and you dont have to be judged or categorized, generalized. Life Coach's website, contact details are mentioned below:

Website: https://sites.google.com/site/wellnesscircleoflife/
Phone Number: +92-334-335-8222
Skype: col.lifecoach
Gtalk: col.lifecoach@gmail.com

~ LT

Woes of PTCL BroadBand Part 2

2013-03-16T20:28:00.003+05:00

I hope you all read my last post, "Woes of PTCL BroadBand Part 1" even since I've been upgraded to PTCL 2mbps connection, the internet connection is not stable anymore. The internet disconnects at a random moment; for reference, imagine a 100 mb file on download and its been over 5 hours trying to download it.

I have no clue how is PTCL still functioning, must be the act of God to keep this company running. This time, my complaint number is 28, I'm hoping the ordeal isn't as horrible as the last time, or the time before.

Will update this experience from a user's perspective.

Woes of PTCL BroadBand Part 1

2013-03-16T20:19:00.004+05:00

A. I use PTCL | B. There is another post that will follow | C. I'm looking to relieve my stress.

Monday, 11th March, I made a complaint to PTCL regarding my internet connection. The thing is, I was paying PTCL for 2mbps connection while they kept delivering 1mbps. Thanks to one particular Customer Support representative who told me that my "port" has not been upgraded even after repeated complaints.

Fast forward, it took PTCL more then 72 hours to rectify my complaint and I'm finally using a 2mbps connection.

Trust me, my happiness is short lived. Read the next post to know why..

A Constant Struggle

2013-03-02T20:15:00.001+05:00

Sometimes I just wanna pour my hearts content on this blog but something stops me. May be its just not worth it.