LATEST JOKES SMS

Orange Ka Juice

2012-01-21T23:15:00.000-08:00

Orange ka juice
My friends are kanjus

Aam ka achar
Hamesha bahane taiyaar

Ice cream ka cone
Na kare kabhi phone

Bahane hain easy
Kehte hain I am busy!

Never Waste Time

2012-01-21T23:11:00.000-08:00

Never waste time for someone who doesn't even bother spending time for you. Be with someone who will say, "Time is wasted if I am not with you."

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Go for someone who is not only proud to have you but will also take every risk to be with you.

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We never know
Why we like some people more than others,
Why we love some people without reasons,
Why we feel happy with their presence,
Guess?
Some relations have no explanations!

The Fastest Thing On Earth

2011-12-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

What's the fastest thing on the earth?

Bullet?
No...

Sound?
No...

Light?
No...

The answer is
"Prayer"
because it reaches God even before you say it...

Three Stages Of Life

2011-12-18T22:28:00.000-08:00

Three stupid stages of life:

TEENAGE:
Have time and energy, but no money

WORKING AGE:
Have money and energy, but no time

OLD AGE:
Have time and money, but no energy

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The "Will be ready in 5 minutes" of a woman
.
.
.
ans
.
.
.
The "Will call you in 5 minutes" of a man
.
.
.
Are the same thing!

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Boy sent the most expensive bird that could speak 40 languages as b'day gift to his girlfriend. Next day he asked about the gift.
BF: how is the bird?
GF: Very tasty...

My Family Is More Precious

2011-12-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

Boy: do you love me more than your family?

Girl: no

Boy: why

Girl: Coz when I started walking and I fell, you were not there to pick me up, but my mom was. When I went outside, you were not there to hold my finger, but my dad was. When I cried, you didn't give me your toys to play, but my brother and sister did. My family is more precious than anything else.

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Someone has said it so well, "Mobile phones do not get you close to people, it just takes you away from the ones sitting next to you."

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A bad attitude is like a flat tyre, we cannot reach anywhere until we change it!

A Message To Heart

2011-12-14T23:01:00.000-08:00

Always respect, honour and pray for those who helped you in your bad time. Also be thankful to bad time for showing you those who are yours.

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A message we all could use,

Dear Heart,

Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood, that's it.

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Message by a confused alarm clock to dear human

you get mad when I wake you up

and

you also get mad when I don't wake you up

"chahta kya hai be tu?" (what do you want from me?)

Sad Messages

2011-12-04T23:31:00.000-08:00

When you get attracted to someone you realise what is love, but when that someone starts avoiding you realise what is life.

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I am proud of my heart, you know why? Everyone played with it, loved it, hurt it, broke it, but somehow it still works.

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Definition Of Trust: Giving someone the authority to destroy you completely, but having the confidence that they would never do it.

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Don't bring people close to your heart because problem with close people is that they know where to hit exactly.

Relations Are Not Exams

2011-12-04T23:30:00.000-08:00

Relations are not exams to pass or fail, nor competitions to win or loose. Its a feeling in which you care for someone more than yourself.

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Some reasons definitely make relationships precious, but the fact is that only precious relationships are made with no reasons.

How To Grow Friendship?

2011-11-24T22:55:00.000-08:00

How to grow friendship:

Pick a good heart, plant it in soil of trust, nourish with good thoughts, add some faith, remove misunderstandings & keep in touch.

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Life is a story written by God's own hands. I don't know how you came in my story, but I requested God to keep you in my story till he writes my last chapter.

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Sometimes in life we think we don't need anyone, but sometimes we don't have anyone when we need. So don't let your best friends go ever.

Couple Jokes

2011-11-24T22:53:00.000-08:00

Wife: did you eat?

Husband: did you eat?

Wife: are you copying me?

Husband: are you copying me?

Wife: I Love You

Husband: yes, I already ate

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A couple in their 60's. A fairy comes and grants them both a wish.

Wife: I want to travel around the wor;d with my husband. Two tickets for cruise appear in her hand

Husband: Sorry love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

Fairy waves her hand and husband turns 92!

Moral: Men should remember FAIRIES ARE FEMALES!!!

Morning Is A Special Gift

2011-11-13T21:38:00.000-08:00

Superb line for achievement: To be at "Everest" don't be "Ever At Rest"!

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Morning is a special gift from "GOD" after a restful sleep. It is a new chance to do better and try again where we failed before.

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Two bulls always fight in a person's mind, Good and Bad. Do you know which one wins? The one you feed the most.

Boy Makes Mistakes

2011-11-13T21:35:00.000-08:00

Boy makes mistake, girl scolds. Boy says sorry.

Next time girl makes a mistake, boy scolds.

Girl cries, again boy says sorry!

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Height of Begging:

A sleeping beggar puts up a notice board in front of him, "Please do not make noise by dropping coins, offer notes."

Why Do We All Marry?

2011-11-07T23:03:00.000-08:00

Great lines that suits many boys - It is said that if you close your eyes you see the person you love the most. When boys do that Slide Show begins...

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After an accident a very angry driver: I showed you the headlights and told you to go by side

Man: I also started the wipers and said no..no...no....no.....no

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Why do we all marry?

Because romance is not the only element of life. We should also know horror, terror, suspense, irony, stupidity and tragedy of life!

Friendship Messages

2011-11-07T22:59:00.000-08:00

I asked God to keep my friend happy.

God said: ok, only for 4 days

I said: ok, summer, winter, rainy & spring days

God said: no, only for 3 days

I said: ok, yesterday, today & tomorrow

God said: no, only for 2 days

I said: ok, day & night

God said: no, only for 1 day

I said: ok, EVERYDAY

God laughed and said: OK

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When someone is sweet to you don't expect they'll be like that all the time because even the sweetest chocolate has an expiry date.

Me??? I am different. I am wine no expiry and the older the better!

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If everyone forgets you

I am with you

If everyone lets you down

I am with you

If everyone betrays you

I am with you

But,

If everyone wants to see you smiling

Then Sorry

I am with them!

Life Is A One Way Road

2011-11-07T22:56:00.000-08:00

The right temperature in a relationship is maintained by warm hearts not by hot heads.

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Life is a continuous challenge and an unending struggle. We are not made rich by what is in our pocket, but we are rich by what is in our heart.

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Life is a one way road where you can see back, but you can't go back. So don't miss anything. Enjoy every second of life. You don't get a second chance.

Find Arms That Hold You

2011-11-04T22:29:00.000-07:00

When a loved one can't look into ur eyes and answer directly its probably because either the answer is too painful for you to know or too hard for them to admit.

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Find arms that hold you at your weakest

The eyes that see you at your ugliest

A heart that loves you at your worst

Once you have found them

You have found life!

Funny Messages

2011-11-01T22:37:00.000-07:00

Don't drink water without boiling or filtering because fishes swim in water without wearing huggies. Samjhe!!!

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Funny But True - If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one because if you truly loved the first one, you wouldn't have loved another.

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Girls gift each other -

flowers...

perfume...

necklece...

ear rings...

etc...

But what do boys gift each other?

"ye le ladki ka number, bas mera naam nahi aana chahiye".

If An Egg Is Broken

2011-10-27T01:05:00.000-07:00

A good plan of today is better than a great plan of tomorrow. Look backward with satisfaction and look forward with confidence, it makes life beautiful.

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If an egg is broken by outside force, its life ends, but if broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside. Trust yourself!

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Be grateful that you don't have everything you want, that means you still have an opportunity to be happier tomorrow than you are today.

Diwali Messages

2011-10-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

May this festival of Diwali replace all the darkness of your life with the sparks of love, felicity and contentment.

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Diwali is a festival of lights and crackers, sweets and snackers, cadburies and cokes, gifts and lots more.

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On this auspicious ocassion of Diwali I pray Goddess Lakshmi to shower her immense blessings on you and bless you with success, wealth and prosperity.

You And I Were Hanging

2011-10-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

Which is the most beautiful feeling in the world? When you try to look at your friend and you find that your friend is already looking at you.

Location: examination hall

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You and I were hanging below a helicopter holding a rope. The pilot said I must leave. I said, "I'll sacrifice for such a dear friend." You got so impressed that you clapped. Hahaha

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Husband: I need poison

Chemist: I can't sell until you show us prescription

Husband showed his wedding card.

Chemist: bas kar pagle rulayega kya, badi bottle dun ya chhoti?

Talk To Yourself

2011-10-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

Adjustment is always better than arguement.

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A meaningful silence is better than meaningless words.

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To handle yourself use your brain and to handle others use your heart.

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Talk to yourself atleast once in a day, otherwise you may miss a meeting with an excellent person in this world.

Life Is Like A Flute

2011-10-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

Life is like a FLUTE. It may have many holes and emptiness, but if you work on it carefully it can play magical melodies.

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The ups and downs in life are also very important to keep us going because a straight line even in an ECG means we are not alive.

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You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks, better keep biscuits and move on.

Time And Distance Are Important

2011-10-15T21:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we wonder why friends keep forwarding messages to us. The reason is because they have nothing to say, but still want to keep in touch.

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Time and distance are important between friends. When a friend is in your heart they remain there forever. I may be busy, but I assure you, you are always in my heart.

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The relationship with good persons is like a sugarcane, you break it, crush it, squeeze it or even beat it and grind it, still you will get only sweetness.

Best Medicine For All Problems

2011-09-30T22:55:00.000-07:00

Care is the most beautiful word which makes life richer. If somebody tells you "Take Care" that means you live in their heart. So "Take Care"!

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You can live without the person who says "You are mine", but you can never live without someone who says "I am yours". May you be blessed with such a person in life.

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Best medicine for all problems of humans is LOVE. Someone asked God, "If it doesn't work?" He smiled and answered, "Increase the dose."

A True And Caring Relation

2011-09-25T05:57:00.000-07:00

A true and caring relation doesn't require a long talk, a soft message is enough because its not the mouth that speaks its the heart that feels.

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If a drop of water falls in a lake it has no identity, but if it falls on a leaf of lotus it shines like a pearl. So choose the best place where you would shine.

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Value people who have touched your life because you'll never know when they will walk out of your life and never come back again. We live life only once and miss them forever.