Latios

Stronger?

2011-12-06T22:48:00.001+08:00

My friends are all enjoying their Decembers, my December is totally different. It not the Month of Celebrating to me, more like a Month of Lifelong Lessons. Somehow, these lessons are taking too much from me but I think, I will have to live with it because you can only die virtually with these lessons and not die physically. >.< That's amazing right? Maybe it's just the matter of fate again but also, I can't say that I'm unlucky because there's always the African Children situation as well. So, whatever life throws at me during December, I have to pull through. :)

December

2011-12-02T00:45:00.001+08:00

I have no idea. I just get the feeling that every time it reaches December, problems will start plaguing me. They are life changing problems. People still continue to welcome the month of December but I can't blame their perspective as well. I've thought about what I did to get all these problems. Apparently they are mostly issues dealing with the twist of fate. I lost friends due to change in personality. I was still the same old person, maybe making same mistakes but some people jumped frequency and just throw the friendship aside. Well, I've faced so many situations every December, all that hardship will eventually be noticed somehow, because that's the only thing that I can hope for. Worse comes to worst, I will just hikikomori and not meet anyone. It just once bitten, twice shy thing. Everything I face in life is just another lifelong lesson waiting to be learned.....

2011-11-21T00:26:00.000+08:00

Lucky at least you did some soul searching. I was caught a bit there. I hope you will find your own soul. :)

2011-11-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

I'm stabbing myself in the heart now. Nothing changed. No matter how much effort I spent. It didn't seem to work. I was consoled but the heavy stone in my heart has not moved an inch. My personality sucks. I hate myself, I hate myself too much. Why did this happen to me? I liked Tamao-chan because she was fucking innocent and now she's just like the current state I'm in. Then again, it was a better match. I must continue on with life. I will persevere. I will get over everything. I'm determined. I will sleep with burning memories, making sure nothing is left behind. Nicholas, you must wake up tomorrow thinking that the past one and a half year had never happened at all. Get a grip of yourself. We will pull through. There's karma as my partner.
KEEP GOING

2011-11-18T01:01:00.000+08:00

I think I have seen many kinds of people up till now. I'm just gonna share some of them here.

I have seen people, who ran away from the problem, hoping that all will turn well when they come back. By then, the damage has been done. These people are cowards and have no balls to face the problem. I have seen people, who are so scared of a situation and they distance far away from you. They are not true friends who do not help when you need them the most. I have also seen people, who consistently find other people to make friends with after being friends with you. Only to find out that after that person went from B to Z before coming back to you to spend quality time.

No matter what, they are all probably friends that are not true. I hope, they will realise the importance and not take my kindness for granted. I might not have seen every personality, but I will become stronger from all these incidents. It's time to find the new meaning to life.

2011-11-17T00:24:00.000+08:00

I've lost friends after I got involved with the police. I really can't imagine why these people left when I needed support the most. Why did I even trust that you all are true friends in the first place when you don't even support me when I needed support the most. I hope they will realise it in one way or another. :)

2011-11-14T02:46:00.000+08:00

It's been a while. In fact, I would like to say something with regards to people who are special to me. I've realised that I've been too understanding to them and they take advantage of me, or some even miscommunicate. So now, I will like to say what I have to say here.

The first one, is the most important. I have no idea what is going on. All I knew was that I was being sabotaged and I took the rap for it. I would like to hear a clear explanation after everything settled and there definitely must be fairness.

Secondly, I'm distancing myself away from you because I know there has been rumours and you are scared by yourself. I granted you that wish but it need not turn out this way as well... Furthermore, I think you are thinking too much. I have my plans already but I have no idea what is going on at your side.

Lastly, I have already informed you about me. You don't like it you are free to go. I have already tried to ease the pain for you because I'm understanding. You were so stubborn not to listen to me and now you wished this didn't even happened? Well, I have nothing to say.

I trusted everyone so much. I was probably wrong to place so much trust. I was too understanding. To some people I might not be understanding enough. Therefore, I think I should reallocate how I should invest my time. I didn't think this would happen, but it did. Now, I wish for everything to be fine so that I am able to walk my own path, will you care to walk the path with me that I have chosen?

2011-09-09T07:57:00.000+08:00

Falling into a relationship too fast? I'm not sure. I just experienced a relationship that was so fast paced. I can't believe what was happening. I simply can't describe how much effort was put into this, it was very passionate. I'm keeping my fingers twisted that this won't come to a bad ending. I just feel that, sometimes, people are not who they really are. All of those were just childish rumours to make fun of......

2011-07-27T23:36:00.000+08:00

I was talking to my classmates one day and they were talking about elites schools around Bt Timah etc. Then, they said that a particular girl school in that area have some students going up to the overhead bridge to peek into another school's water polo training venue during their practice sessions. Apparently, I felt that this was such a damn stupid act. Why waste your energy at a non conducive environment just to peek? I mean, there isn't going to be much outcome either. I find it a bit stupid in that sense.....

Next up, I would like to say that hoping that your close ones help you get a distinction in your exams isn't the way. It's more or less up to yourself. Friends can only help you out in encouraging you to study. The rest is up to you. Sigh. Stop taking away what was meant to be mine for your own nasty purposes. You are so shallow minded, you thought that money, time and exceptional treatment was all it takes to love someone. In fact, you need to funny understand the other's person's feelings and whether your actions will benefit then or not. Stop wasting other people's time for your selfish reasons. I'm saying this on behalf of my friend who is very confused at the moment and I will save him.

2011-07-25T01:09:00.000+08:00

Z! Please STFU and rant these shit on your blog and not on Facebook where everyone can see. >.<

2011-07-21T21:09:00.000+08:00

Work, work and work. Just continue the things that is normal to your life and everything will vanish past you. :) I really can't forget that my CT told me that. Work will get me back on track. :)

2011-07-17T23:00:00.000+08:00

I know guys don't like to talk serious things because they are forever joking but wtf can't you just take 10 mins off your time to discuss with me something and then you can get on with it? It's damn irritating when you don't reply. It's like sort of ignoring me.

2011-07-17T00:57:00.000+08:00

Life just loves throwing shit at me. Isn't it just amazing? Well, I can't spend too much time on such issues. Somebody just wants me annoyed. Shucks. I'm seriously have to deal this fast and quick. I have to 算账 with someone before I can choose my path and put that thing down. Goodness man. You will become stronger if you don't die. That's the truth. So please, stop wasting your energy once and for all. I'm sick and tired of this. I can't understand why idiots want to anger other people...... X_X

2011-07-15T00:20:00.000+08:00

I know that you are damn angry. I'm not dumb and you need not go to the extent of doing things extremely absurd to ruin each others lives. Seriously, I did not do anything to you. Why are you thinking so far that I backstabbed you? I'm saying this for your own good so that you can live life happier not wasting your time and energy and not get the wrong idea instead. Then, let me tell you that all these has no impacts against me physically and emotionally because, I don't see you at all. It's not like we communicate everyday. So why bring a disaster by thinking I wronged you? Please, look at yourself before rashly acting. You had everything already. I already let you win. I wasn't planning to do anything at all. In fact, you are the one who assumed that I did this at a point to make you unhappy. NO. I didn't have any intention at all. So please, stop all this nonsense because you are wasting your time and energy while it can be spent on other sources of happiness.

2011-07-13T04:18:00.000+08:00

To me now, you don't mean a thing to me already. Whatever feelings I have, I'm going throw it into the ocean, into the never ending currents and I won't see them ever again. I wish you all the best in the future.

You got me running running running away~

2011-07-12T21:31:00.001+08:00

Can don't put your profile picture like that or not? Very weird leh. ._.

2011-07-12T01:54:00.000+08:00

Have you tried lighting up a barrel of oil just by creating a spark from two rocks or something? Well, I did just that. In fact, people have been so protective about themselves that they went to the extreme of doing some extreme propaganda. Hah, by all means do so. It was nevertheless unexpected yet unsurprising. I might have gotten the wrong idea but in this case, the latter holds a very low possibility. Since then, I've been questioning myself why am I poking so much into this? I should just leave it alone, I couldn't care much about it since I've already made the fire and the fire is already gobbling everything up in flames. Let's just leave the matter alone. When realism kicks in and only after suffering third degree burns, then I'll consider my choices again. :)

I love my trumpet. :P

2011-07-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

I know I'm wrong to make that decision. However, it's time to carry on. I didn't do that without any reason or whatsoever. Because, I had already placed my effort in saving. I stayed up till the wee hours to explain. Then again, probably it's still unexplainable stuff that things still turned out like this, although my part in remedying the situation was futile. So, because we always have choices in life. Since, that path was chosen, I had to reciprocate by choosing my own decision. After all, what's life without choices? Yes, I may have made a wrong choice from a particular perspective but life has to go on. I have a life as well. So, I hereby sincerely apologise for making such decisions but it's still the way out for me. I'm an ordinary person, someone who have dreams and ambitions and wishes like any other ordinary people. Thus, I wish good luck to this situation and if fate wants it to be, the best case will turn out, eventually.

I might have been blamed, cursed or ignored. However, my life still continues and there's no choice of not overcoming my problems. I'm still a person who constantly reflect and I will still be forever married to my trumpet.

2011-07-11T01:43:00.000+08:00

Sigh. I'm so evil and so is everyone else. Oh, the irony. Well, I don't why I chose that decision to backstab but it seems everything is on track to my plan. Although, the outcome was not what I really expected but somehow it worked out. How interesting. In fact, all that I did, will sooner or later affect people. The best thing, it may be a silent killer and it may not. That decision is something, I won't regret. *Evil smile* So much for all those photos on the social media to make me jealous but all those are proven useless. I know you through and through already. You are already losing this battle, save ourselves some energy and give up. I already know you went to that extent just to win someone over or earn someone back etc. That's very foolish of you because, you don't understand two things. First, you didn't know how to treat your friends as what it should be. You thought money was all it takes to attract someone. NO. It requires mutual understanding and give-and-take skills as well as many other factors to make it work. Second, do you think your friends will even know how to pay you back for what you have given them? No. They will always feel owed to you and that's just forcing them to come to you. This isn't relationship and not even friendship alone. So, please for the sake of innocent people, stop.

I will change for the better now. In all aspects of my life. I have to. Add oil! I will make a comeback this year.

2011-06-27T21:27:00.001+08:00

Ok. It's back to school again. Not to say that I've practically wasted the whole holidays but it's finally clear that someone decided to reveal his true self. I don't know lar. Some people so retarded. They blatantly discriminate themselves on a particular characteristic when others comment on it and yet they still announce so publicly that they have that characteristic. Hmmm, what a no brainer and those people expect other people to believe him and still some illogical or rather, mentally disabled people who can't think properly fall for his trap. What a joke.

2011-06-06T02:06:00.001+08:00

I've got my taste of looking at anime and manga. It's no doubt that Japanese anime and manga give and long lasting and deep impression. It may not seem like it from the outside but I think Japanese art definitely has its own characteristics and meaning. It is just like abstract like music. Then again, you may bring up hentai. Yeah, the modern non-Japanese thinking of hentai is definitely sex and that's being very stereotypical. Just like Yaoi is often mistaken for gay and Yuri is often mistaken for lesbian. However, there's a meaning behind all that. Yaoi was utilized to show the deeper, loving bond of two teenage boys in a very close relationship, or somewhat abusive relationship. Abusive meaning they act like they hate each other but in all truth care about each other more than anything else in the world. I think such writers of such manga still do or even a greater impact of abstractness and meaning. It's unexplainable love that can only be shown in anime and manga......

2011-05-29T21:48:00.000+08:00

Musicians make fast decisions. Unfortunately, for me, in other aspects of life, I'm pretty indecisive. Regarding what happened few months ago. I still have no idea whether should I feel happy because he was there for me in certain parts of my life, or should I be frustrated that he did something nasty to me and ran away, giving leaving the community as a probable excuse. To an ordinary person, he will take the 'happy' way out but for me, I continued to dwell on my decisions. Why?

I may say this here but it might a totally different scenario. I think I still have him in my heart, I'm either trying to get him out or trying to face reality. This is a bit too overwhelming for me. I don't know whether he still have his heart for me or he's just continuing his life. It may be different because he already have his own mindset and I don't expect to force him. Life's like that, unfairness is what makes the world go round.

Cute people

2011-04-27T22:21:00.000+08:00

I have been waiting to post something about cute people and here it is.

I have noticed that most cute people (in fact all of them) gets a lot of attention automatically and everyone just sucks up to them. You may call me stereotyping but looks who's stereotyping. I'm speaking on behalf of the minority. What has become of our generation whereby cute is just everything to people? So that means people who are born cute have lavish lifestyles and people who are just like you and me sit at one corner? That's discrimination. No one wants to be ugly, and yet why does cute people get everything they want? Gosh......

2011-04-22T12:53:00.000+08:00

I really do hope that you realise this by now. Don't ever take sides to a situation. You will be in deep trouble if you get into the fray. If you take both sides of the situation, you will be in even bigger trouble because both sides will think that you backstab either sides. It's very much your own fault for getting into trouble now. If you even ever take sides to a situation, don't even tell anyone that you sided somebody.

2011-03-06T20:32:00.000+08:00

Today, I want to stress the bottom line of jealousy and anger. As I had said, anger can make people do silly things. Jealousy is very normal. Everyone is actually jealous about something. Like, for example, I'm jealous about my friend owning a 18mm to 200mm lens which totally cost 1299 and it cost as much as the camera body. So, the point is how you control jealousy. Being too overly jealous will lead to bad anger management and yeah, do silly things. For me, taking the latter as an example, I will probably just keep nagging that my friends owns that expensive lens etc etc etc..... and I will go on and on. That's probably just fine. That's just trying to calm yourself down. However, if you are coping (I wrote 'koping' here for no reason...) jealousy as a way of gaining happiness or for revengeful purposes. I guess you are really nuts. Okay, so going to the point now.

No one really cares if you have a crush or whatsoever. Anyway, what's the use of going into a relationship at a young age when you are still studying? Look, amongst the whole train enthusiasts, you are probably the only one having a crush and yeah, trying to get into a relationship. What's the damn use? Are you trying to show off and saying, 'Hey, I've got an awesome girlfriend~'? If that's what you are trying to do, no one will really care about you. Everyone will think you are such a cocky person and no one will probably go out with you. Only f___tards/abnormal people will go out with you. Furthermore, why the shit will you feel like touching a girl's private parts without permission? You are so young and your mind is already malfunctioning. Please, I've not been in a mixed school for 10 years and yet I understand a girl's personality much more than you. No doubt a girl's ideology is complex and we guys will never fully understand them but at least give them the basic sensitivity and respect for them. This just reminded me of what CX told me quite a while back.... He said to me that sometimes when guys talk about the apples, the trees and the bumblebees, it's okay when you talk about it in a guy group and in moderation. However, if you are overdoing it, it's really disturbing. Judging from my experience overhearing a conversation with my previous classmates, I really think so too. I should seriously catch up with CX some time soon. Probably, you are just trying too hard to prove yourself as a heterosexual. If you end up with some problems later on, not even friends can help you. As I had said, please be more matured. You are still behaving like a Primary 6 student. If you are trying to step on my face by doing all these, I guess you are going too far. You are lucky that I didn't curse you or badmouth you behind your back. I'm saying this to help you because even though I treat you as an acquaintance, it's my personality to treat my acquaintances the basic care and respect.

I'm so going back to my books now. I need to revise for my Modular Test on Tuesday. ~+U~