Laugh in Bed

Do You Have A Dominant Hand In Bed?

2011-04-26T15:58:00.000-04:00

photo by Colin Charles via Creative Commons

We all have certain preferences when it comes to sex. Lights on, lights off. Covers, lingerie, even the side of the bed you like to be. While hanging out with some good friends, another question came up.

Do you have a dominant hand in bed? My friend J brought this up because normally he right-handed, but in bed, his lefty is the boss. Whether he's performing solo or doing the bed tango with his partner, his left hand is deft and detail oriented while his right hand just hangs out.

I've never thought about this before. Obviously J has. It's fascinating how his dominant hand in bed is no his dominant hand in his daily activities.

I mean, my husband can cut his steak (not a euphemism) equally well with his left or right hand. Not the same concept as bedroom play.

We further analyzed J's observation. Did he hold his "literature" in his right hand when he masturbated as a teenager? Nope. Is it because he had to turn his back to his bedroom door just in case someone walked in on his extracurricular activities? Nope.

We never did figure it out, but it made for great conversation.

What about you? Are you a lefty or righty in bed?

I'm Like the Bartender of Vagina Stories

2010-10-25T11:02:00.000-04:00

I'm like the bartender of vagina stories.

It's a hazard of my job, I guess. It's like when you discover someone is an accountant and you ply him with tax questions. Or you over share your aching bunion issues with a doctor you meet at a dinner party.

When strangers discover that I sell sex toys for a living, the floodgates open. Unlike an accountant or doctor, I really don't mind. (I'm assuming that they do mind.) The stories are never boring and sometimes, quite entertaining.

I don't find it odd anymore when complete strangers spill their sexual experiences to me. It's the places where their open up, that seem out of the ordinary. I expect to hear these stories at my Passion Parties, but in large public settings?

A couple of months ago, during a very large expo, I approached a booth promoting feminine hygiene products that were especially formulated for women. As I listened to the representative go through her spiel, I noticed that her inflection changed each time she spoke the word vagina. Obviously she seemed slightly uncomfortable saying the word in a public setting. Me, I can it all day long: vagina, vagina, vagina--just as Jan Brady said, "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia."

Never one to shy away from vagina talk, I decided to throw out, "Did you ever think you would have to say vagina so many times when you took this job?" Apparently, that was the key to unlock her floodgates. I filled her in about how I empower women to take control of sexual pleasure at in home parties. It was all the permission she needed.

In the middle of this huge expo hall, in the middle of an afternoon, surrounded by thousands of women, she confessed to me that once, after sex, her vagina had a very offensive odor. She had attempted to confided in a girlfriend about it, but was ostracized.

We were not alone at this little booth. Her coworkers were standing next to her, promoting their feminine hygiene products to other passerbys. I could even reach over and touch the women at the adjoining booth. We were surrounded by strangers and yet she did not whisper her "fragrant" experience.

Most women would probably need to down a cosmo or two before confessing such a matter to a close girlfriend. Me, I get the story straight up. I guess if I had gotten a similar response from my friend, I might be hesitant too.

I love that my career makes women (and sometimes men) comfortable enough to share their sexual questions, adventures, and mishaps with me. I listen to their stories, laugh with them, and help them feel validated. I've heard many stories in my 9+ years as a Passion Parties consultant. I don't judge. I let them know they're not alone-it's happened to others too. I think that's what puts them at ease-that it's happened to others. That they're not a freak.

Bartender of sexual mishap stories, vaginal odors, and more. That's me.

If you ever run into me, before we start talking vagina (or penises), buy me an appletini, please?

Top 10 Dangerous Spots for Sex

2010-05-11T10:11:00.000-04:00

Who knew sex could be so dangerous? Have you hurt yourself on one of these spots? I promise not to tell!

Sofa
On the stairs
Car (Imagine that?)
Shower
In the Bedroom
On a chair
The kitchen table
Garden
Toilet
In a work cupboard

How have you hurt yourself during sex? The best story wins a prize! If you're not comfortable leaving a public comment, you can email me.

Read more other sex mishaps.

Photo credit: Doctor Casino

Can You Say the V-Word?

2010-05-07T10:49:00.000-04:00

In my line of work at a Passion Parties consultant, I've heard a lot of words for "down there." One of the games I play is to see how many terms for the female genitalia you can list in 6o seconds. (Try it--it's hard when you're under pressure.)

I know a lot of women (men too) are uncomfortable saying vagina. There, I said. Vagina, vagina, vagina. Why is it so hard to say that word? Maybe we didn't hear it enough as children. There are a lot of women at my parties who are uncomfortable saying vagina. They say "down there" or even wore "va-jay-jay."

Sure it was funny the first time I heard it on Grey's Anatomy. Obviously tv has issues saying vagina too. That's just a silly name for it!

Growing up first generation Vietnamese-American, my first language is Vietnamese. To this day, I have no idea what the actual word for vagina is in Vietnamese. Or clitoris. I'm afraid to ask my mom. I'm in my thirties and have 2 kids. I sell sex toys for a living but I'm afraid to ask my mom. How exactly do I explain to my mother what a clitoris is when our only sex talk was don't get pregnant?

From the very beginning, I've taught my daughter that her girl parts is called vagina. Now it's technically not correct but it's close. When she's older, I'll explain all the other parts to her. She's four now. She's know what her vagina was since she started speaking in full sentences. Some people think I'm crazy for teach her vagina and penis. Heck, she even asked me what her clitoris was one day during her bath. Of course I told her.

Let's show our vagina the respect it deserves. Empower yourself. Don't call her your hoo-ha or your beaver or your bush or whatever. Own the word. It's nice and strong.

Let's teach our young'uns the right terms too. Both our boys and our girls. Teach them at a young age to respect their bodies by giving the right words to use. It's a start to give our girls, especially when they become pre-teens and teens, good self-esteem. Teach our boys also to respect not only their body parts but girls' too. Take the mystery out of it, and it's no longer forbidden fruit.

The ladies I meet who are uncomfortable talking about their genitals are also uncomfortable voicing their sexual needs to their partners. Isn't it time we take our pleasure into our own hands (literally or figuratively)?

Or as the artist of the piece pictured said:

Ain't nothing wrong with "vagina."

Photo (and art) courtesy of Ricë Freeman-Zachery.

Is It a Sex Toy or Is It a Baby Toy?

2010-04-09T09:55:00.000-04:00

Can you tell the difference between a baby toy and a sex toy?

I DARE you to take the quiz. I got 14 out of 15 correct. What was your score?

Oh, and this is definitely NOT safe for work.

Mominatrix Does Pole Dancing or Meeting Kristen Chase

2010-03-19T08:05:00.002-04:00

I know ~~pole dancing~~ pole fitness, is the new rage. It's just a little outside my comfort zone.

I know, I know. The woman who sells sex toys for a living doesn't want to try pole dancing. Fear not.

This past Sunday I was able to meet Kristen Chase, author of The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex: A No-Surrender Advice Book for Naughty Moms .

We had met on Twitter but it was lovely to see her in person. It's great to meet other women that are passionate about helping other women ~~get laid~~ have great sex. That Kristen is one hot woman! Check out the shoes she wore:

She held her DC book signing at Jordin's Paradise, a cute little dance & fitness studio. When you walk it, the first thing you'll notice are the 6 poles in the middle of the floor! Rania, the owner showed us some pretty rocking moves.

No, I did not do that. The little I tried. . .whew! What a workout. You need a lot of upper body strength for pole fitness. That said, the moves were fun, and I didn't feel slutty doing them.

If you didn't feel like pole dancing, there was always a chocolate fountain and wine. Check out these yummies we had to dip.

I also gave a way a wild basket of Passion Parties goodies to a lucky guest! My blog buddy Jodifur won. I didn't rig it. Kristen drew the name.

It was a lot of fun! I'm actually thinking about taking some pole fitness classes. I'm sure hubby wouldn't complain. Rania & I are thinking about doing some Passion Pole Parties. What do you think?

Parent-Friendly Sex Toys

2010-02-09T00:06:00.000-05:00

Who says you can't go buzz in the night after you have kids? Sure, you're terrified that they'll find your light-up twisty multi-function vibrator, but you can't go to sleep without its stupor inducing orgasms. Don't despair, you don't have to hide your toys in the back of the closet.

Just buy some parent-friendly sex toys. By parent-friendly, I mean they're discreet or you can easily give your kids an alternate explanation if they find it. Now if your kids are tweens or older, they know. No use trying to explain. Just tell them to mind their own business. Really, who really wants to think about their parents doing the nasty?

Most of these toys' main function are clitoral stimulators. That's where you want the action!

Everyone woman has her favorite tube of lipstick. Except with the Lipstick Vibe, no one has to know that it takes batteries and puts a smile on your face. Unless your kid is like my make-up obsessed 4 year old, they won't even look at it twice. It's also water-resistant, perfect for the shower.

With its magnetic clip, this Treasure Gem can pass as brooch. It'll be your new favorite accessory. Not only is it sparkly, it packs powerful vibes. Gotta love multi-tasking toys. You can also clip this to your favorite pair of panties and VOILA! Vibrating underwear.

The Blossom Bliss will make you feel very relaxed and zen. Not sure how to explain this one, except it's not penis-shaped! It's small, waterproof, and quiet. Plus it's pretty.

The We-Vibe II is a perfect couples toy. It's meant to be worn during sex but it's pretty darn exciting solo. It vibrates on your clitoris AND your g-spot, leaving your hands free for some extra fun play. If your kids find it, the flexible silicone can always be turned into a puppet. (Do this at your own risk, as your kid may ask for the cool purple puppet show again--in front of company no less.)

Of course if you're just paranoid or have really sneak kids, invest in a the Pink Butterfly Toybox. It's a sturdy lockbox that you set the combination. Just pick an easy to remember combination or write it down. You don't want it to hold your toys hostage!

This post was inspired by Kristen Chase's new book, The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex: A No-Surrender Advice Book for Naughty Moms. It's a fun read. I received a copy of the book for review as part of Silicon Valley Moms book club.

Disclaimer: All links to the toys mentioned above are sold in my Passion Parties online store. You don't have to purchase it from me, but it sure helps keep baby Jaxson with a steady supply of diapers and cute onesies. Thanks!

Part 1, Step 3: Just Do It

2010-02-08T09:26:00.002-05:00

Dr. Oz wants us to Do It at least once a week. Does it seem like a chore? Or you're not sure when you can squeeze it in? If you're in the mid-Atlantic and are snowed in like me, I'm sure having sex will be more exciting than looking at all that snow outside.

Go ahead and schedule it. Make a naughty sex date. It doesn't have to be at night either. Have a lunch time quickie or a naughty shower together. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to make it perfect. Just having sex (and hopefully an orgasm or two) will make you want it more.

Once you decide on the day (like Tuesday night before Lost comes on), put a big smiley face on your calendar or set an appointment on your Blackberry or iPhone. Call it something discreet or funny like "Order Pizza for Dinner" or "Book Club."

If you want extra credit, you can do it more than once a week. It's okay to be the teacher's pet in this challenge.

Have fun with this one!

Science of Love and Lust

2010-02-07T21:25:00.001-05:00

Ever wonder why you're attracted to that hot but not so bright guy? Or the gal with the ginormous bosom? I'm sure we realize that our hormones have a lot to do with it, but Mother Nature must have bred us this way right? Maybe that's why we have a "type."

If you live in the Baltimore/DC Metro area, stop by the Maryland Science Center this Thursday, February 11 at 7:30PM when they host Dr. Helen Fisher, Chief Scientific Advisor at Chemistry.com, who will explain the science behind attraction and the personality traits that help us choose whom to love in her lecture "Lust, Romance & Attachment: The Science of Love and Whom We Choose."

Here's the blurb from their website:

Why do lovebirds get butterflies in their stomachs and go weak in the knees? Dr. Fisher has spent more than three decades researching human sexuality, gender differences in the brain, monogamy, adultery, and divorce to answer those questions. And, her recent studies of Chemistry.com members and MRI scans of people in and out of love, have helped define four biologically–based personality types and why we fall in love with one person rather than another.

Dr Helen Fisher has written several books on love and sciencewhich the geek in me totally wants to read more. It's research and development for my job, after all.

If I can dig myself out from the snowpocalypse that hit the DC Metro area this weekend, I'm planning on attending. Then again, at least 5 inches of snow is expected Tuesday night.

The event is free, just call to RSVP. The Maryland Science Center is located at 601 Light Street at Baltimore’s Inner Harbor. For information and tickets, visit www.marylandsciencecenter.org or call the 24-Hour Information Line at 410-685-5225.

I was not compensated for this post. It sounds really cool, and I hope I get to attend. If you plan on coming, email me or contact me on Twitter , and we can meet up!

Photo via Vanessa Pike-Russell

Is Sleeping Separately Better?

2010-02-03T10:42:00.000-05:00

With a preschooler and a newborn, I definitely don't get enough sleep. If I get less than 5 hours, I'm a cranky woman. Sophia Keller believes that if we sleep alone, we'll get better quality sleep. Sure sometimes hubby snores, but I know I snore too. Who's going to keep me warm in bed when it's cold?

According to Keller, there are nine positive aspects for sleeping separately:

1. Well, obviously you have no one next to you who is snoring. You can get to sleep without interruption and will not be woken in the middle of the night!

2. You are free to turn the light on or off when you want, at any time, without worrying about disturbing anyone else and thinking of their needs.

3. If you wake in the middle of the night you can do what you like to do when you can't sleep, whether it is to watch movies, read, go on line, listen to music, write etc. Whatever you do, there will be no one to complain about it.

4. If you're tidy, there is no one to make the room messy and conflict with your orderly tendencies. If you're messy, you don't have anyone on your back to tell you to clean up.

So do you sleep separately from your partner? Do you think you'll have less sex if you sleep in different beds? What about the before sleep pillow talk and cuddle?

Since we definitely don't have an extra bed, this is not an experiment I will try. Plus I want someone to keep my popsicle toes warm during the night.

Read more of the story at Huffington Post. Photo via n.gottier.

I've Fallen Off the Wagon

2010-01-31T17:41:00.000-05:00

I've completely fallen off the Dr. Oz 90 Day Sex Challenge wagon. Not just slipped, fell on my ass.

I haven't taken the time to talk to my husband for 10 minutes each day. We had originally decided that we'd talk at 11PM every night. Who needs to watch the evening news, right? Well, turns out that 11PM is way too late for us to speak coherently.

As for kissing and cuddling. . .HA! DH attempted to kiss and cuddle the other night. Unfortunately, it was 1 o'clock in the morning, and we were laying in bed in the dark. The last thing I wanted to do was kiss. It was too much work after a long day. All I wanted to do was sleep. I felt bad I rejected hubby, but I'd rather not be half-assed about it.

I really don't have an excuses. I knew what I was in for when I started the challenge, right? Even if my 4 year old was up all night Friday throwing up? And I was holding the baby in one arm, and grabbing 4 year old's leg while she leaned over my bed, upchucking in the garbage can? Oh, and hubby was busy washing her sheets and the carpet?

Or that the baby wants to be held non-stop from 5PM until midnight or so. So I don't even want to be touched afterwards?

Ok, they're just excuses. Tonight I'll start over. I promise.

Part 1, Step 2: Making Out

2010-01-21T22:26:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the late posting! I'm not getting a lot sleep these days with the kids, work, and housework. Since this blog is a labor of love, it wasn't high on the priority list. I'll do a separate post with my thoughts on Part 1, Step 1

So our next step in the Dr.Oz 90 Day Sex Challenge is all about kissing and cuddling. You know, making out. 3 times a week, make out with your partner for at least 10 minutes. Now the caveat to this is that you can't have sex during this time. All this kissing and cuddling will help you remember what foreplay is all about. I mean "rekindle your desire for foreplay."

Yeah, foreplay. If you have kids, you probably don't even know what that is anymore right? At my parties, I talk about how important foreplay is. Women need at least 15 minutes of good foreplay before intercourse. Using lotions and edibles can definitely enhance the foreplay experience. Edibles will make you want to kiss, lick, and nibble more. All that kissing and cuddling will get you all worked up.

Back to kissing and cuddling. This is good old making out. You can make out on the couch or in bed. Go old school and go parking. You know, park somewhere dark and steam up those windows! Or just sit in your driveway/garage/parking lot. Don't get caught! LOL.

If you're not sure you'll be able to do this 3 times a week, schedule it! You'll still want to keep up your 10 minutes of talking time too.

I'm not sure how I feel about this step. I'm definitely an instant gratification kinda gal. The last time DH and I had a contest to see who could hold out the longest, I lost. All that making out has to lead to something, right? But for this challenge, I will follow Dr. Oz's rules.

Rubber Ducky, You're the One

2010-01-14T08:57:00.000-05:00

The baby has been incredibly fussy, so I haven't been able to update you all on my progress with the challenge.

But take some time and hop over to my twitter friend @MaryMac's hilarious review for a vibrating rubber duckyon her blog, Pajamas and Coffee. Warning: do not drink any beverages when reading it. You will snort it out of your nose! Oh, and there's a lot of F-bombs.

Maybe I'll have to ask her to do a guest post here.

Take the Pearl Pledge & Giveaway

2010-01-07T00:59:00.002-05:00

I found out today that one of my good friends was diagnosed with cancer. Luckily, she found it early. She's waiting on test results before her doctors recommend what treatment to take. When I hear news like this, I can't help but wonder what really is important. Many days I just go and go, like the Energizer bunny, never taking the time to take care of myself.

Many of us put our loved ones ahead of us. We feed and nurture our children, significant others, parents and others first. Then, if we don't pass out from exhaustion at the end of the day, we attempt to do something for ourselves. Well, STOP IT! It's time to look out for yourself. If you don't, who will?

I feel lucky to help educate women about their bodies at my Passion Parties. Many of us were raised not to talk about our lady bits. Which then makes it hard to talk to our doctors about it. Which is why I'm asking you to Take the Pearl Pledge, part of the Pearl of Wisdom campaign to prevent cervical cancer.

I was invited on a call with Dr. Marie Savard to learn more about how we can spread awareness and prevent cervical cancer. I visit my gynecologist for my yearly "woman's visit," but I never really thought about what the doctors are looking for. I just know that I'm supposed to go. But some women skip their yearly visits, saying I'll do it next month. Next month turns into a year.

I learned a lot about cervical cancer on the call:

Did you know that cervical cancer is the second leading cancer in women worldwide? This year in the United States, more than 11,000 women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer and more than 4,000 women will die of this disease.
Unlike other cancers, cervical cancer is almost always preventable because we know what causes it – HPV infection – and we have the tools available to prevent this cancer.
Get yearly pap smears and HPV tests. Yes, that pap smear might be slightly uncomfortable, but it can detect abnormal blood cells that can cause cervical cancer.

You can read more about cervical cancer at the Pearl of Wisdom site. Just take a few minutes to Take the Pearl Pledge and help spread the awareness to the women in your life. The goal is to get 4,070 pledges – the same number of women who were expected to die from cervical cancer in 2009 – before Mother’s Day (May 9, 2010).

Now to the giveaway. Win 1 of 5 Pearl of Wisdom Pins so you can let everyone know you've taken the pledge and pass on the Pearl of Wisdom about cervical cancer.

To enter, just Take the Pearl Pledge and come back here to leave a comment with an email address so I can contact you if you win.

For extra entries, you can do any of the following (just come back to leave a comment with a link to your tweets or letting me know you've done it)

Tweet that you've taken the pledge. I just took the Pearl Pledge to help prevent cervical cancer. Join me and help us get 4,070 pledges by Mother’s Day: http://bit.ly/7qU07Y #PearlPledge
Tweet about this giveaway: Win a Pearl of Wisdom & help prevent cervical cancer http://bit.ly/PearlPledge (via @thienkim) #PearlPledge
Subscribe to this blog
Subscribe to my craft and cooking blog Cup of Creativi-Tea
Subscribe to my adventures in parenting blog I'm Not the Nanny

That's a total of 6 chances to win. I'll draw the winners by January 18.

You can also purchase your own pin to show your support.

I was not paid for this post. I believe it's important for to get regular yearly pap smears and pelvic exam. I was given a Pearl of Wisdom Pin.

Part 1, Step 1: Start Talking

2010-01-04T09:36:00.015-05:00

Who has time to talk these days when there's work to worry about, household chores to finish, tv shows to catch up on? We all know that communication is key to any relationship, but do we actually take the time to really talk to each other?

For the first two weeks of the challenge, you're going to talk to your partner. Set a timer or alarm for 10 minutes. Turn off the tv (that would be my hubby). Turn off the computer (guilty as charged). Talk. You are not allowed to talk about kids, work, finances, chores or anything else that can add stress to the conversation.

Hubby and I attempted 10 minutes of conversation with Dr. Oz's limits. It was challenging. We found ourselves talking about the kids or his work. Another thing we realized is that we need to set a time for it. We started our 10 minutes of conversation late in the evening, when were both exhausted from the day. So we decided that our 10 minutes would start at 11 PM every night. We'll try to follow our schedule but we won't beat ourselves up if we don't follow it exactly.

So what the heck will you talk about? Remember this is the chance to give each other one on one time. Make sure you're listening to your partner. Looking into his or her eyes wouldn't hurt either.

Here are some suggestions if you get stuck for ideas:

New Year's Resolutions If you don't make resolutions it's ok. Talk about what you want for yourself in the upcoming year. What do you want for your relationship? Hubby and I decided that we would try to go on at least one date each month. With 2 small kids, this is a challenge, but we both believe it's important.

Dinner Plans Nope, it's not about what you're having for dinner tomorrow. If you could invite any 3 people (dead or alive) to a dinner party, who would they be and why?

Winning the Lottery What would your idea job/hobby/home/etc be if time and money were not option? This one is fun. It's not about the material things, but letting yourself dream and learn where our passions really lay.

Laugh Talk about something funny that happened to you today. Or happened to someone else. Make sure it's not mean spirited.

Make It Up This is one of hubby's favorite things to do. We love people watching. We'll find someone interesting and make up a story about their lives. Why that person is currently doing what he or she is. How did he get there? Where is she going? It might feel silly at first, but it's fun.

It's natural to have lulls in the conversation. Just accept it and don't stress over it. If you've still have lots of conversation in you when the timer buzzes, keep going! There are plenty of conversation starters on the web. Print some out, cut the questions into strips, and put it in a jar. Pull one out when you're stuck for something to talk about.

If you miss a day or don't get in your full 10 minutes don't stress about it. Just keep with the challenge. This is supposed to be fun! Sex is not a requirement of this step. However, if that's what naturally occurs, go for it!

What are some questions you like to ask your partner?

Photo via bensonkua

Schedule for 90 Day Sex Challenge

2010-01-04T00:36:00.001-05:00

It's not too late to join the challenge! More info on this post.

I hope you're excited about starting the 90 Day Sex Challenge. Dr. Oz's site didn't really have an specific directions on how to do the challenge except for the steps. When I start something new, it's much easier to do it in steps. So we'll incorporate each step bit by bit, adding each one as we've mastered the previous.

The date listed is when we will start each step. I'll introduce the step we'll add to our routine for the next 2 or 3 weeks. I'll also do a follow up post for each step for you share your thoughts as you added it to your routine. I'll share my thoughts too.

January 4: Part 1, Step 1: Start Talking

January 18: Part 1, Step 2: Kiss and Cuddle

February 1: Part 1, Step 3: Just Do It

February 15: Part 2, Step 1: Show the 3 A's

March 8: Part 2, Step 2: Master Your Foreplay

March 22: Part 2, Step 3: Create a Fantasy Box

April 5: Challenge Wrap-up

April 7: Drawing for a mini-box of Passion Parties Goodies!

Start Date Change for the Sex Challenge

2010-01-01T22:46:00.000-05:00

I'm changing the start date for our 90 Day Sex Challenge to January 4. That way we have all weekend to recover from our New Year's Eve celebrations.

Plus, the baby is going through a fussy period in the evenings (when I do most of my blogging) so I'm a bit behind.

In the meantime, please pass the challenge info along to your friends and have them join us!

90 Day Sex Challenge: Great Way to Start 2010

2009-12-29T20:47:00.003-05:00

Note: I'm changing the start date for our 90 Day Sex Challenge to January 4. That way we have all weekend to recover from our New Year's Eve celebrations.

I don't watch a lot of daytime tv. If I do, it's usually cartoons. I especially don't watch a lot of talk shows unless there's a specific topic or guest I want to see.

So of course I completely missed Dr. Oz's 90 Day Sex Challenge. The challenge was posted in October but since many of us make resolutions for the new year, why not better sex?

Or as Dr. Oz puts it, why not save your sex life?

His challenge is geared towards those already in a long term relationship, but I think you can apply the same principles to any relationship. There are 6 steps, so it works out to a step every two weeks. That's manageable right?

From my Passion Parties, I hear from a lot of women that they don't have time or energy for sex anymore. It seems like too much work-too much investment for a small return. Or they'd rather eat chocolate, watch tv, [insert whatever] than have sex with their partner. Life can get in the way: kids, work, housework, etc. However, it's really important not to put your relationship at the bottom of the list.

Yes, sex is an important part of your relationship. For men and women.

So who's in? We'll start on January 1, 2010. Join me in a 90 Day Sex Challenge! Just add your name & link to your blog below in the widget. I'll add you to my sidebar blog roll.

Every two weeks, come back and check in. Tell us how you're doing. It's up to you how much detail you want to share. Or you can blog about it and add your link to each part's post. Don't worry, if you don't blog, you can leave a comment with your update and thoughts. I'll post a schedule, but subscribe to my blog so you don't miss anything.

I'll randomly draw one name at the end of the 90 days. That person will win a mini-goody box of Passion Parties products from me. Every week you participate will earn you an entry.

Disclosure: I'm an independent Passion Parties Consultant. I'm paying for the giveaway items myself, they were not given to me.

Photo courtesy of ToniVC

Remember Those Cosmo Sex Quizzes?

2009-12-21T23:42:00.000-05:00

I know you used to do those quizzes in Cosmopolitan magazine. Heck hubby use to take them with me. They're fun, even though they don't give much insight to who we are. Usually whatever the quiz tells us about ourselves, we already know, deep down.

It's like reading those books about horoscope and compatibility. They're fun. I think these types of quizzes are a great conversation starter with your significant other. Communication is so important in relationships, yet we get so busy with the routine of life we often miss it. Sometimes we don't even have a real conversation with each other until we've gotten into bed. By that time, we're so tired we can barely talk or remember what the other has said. That's assuming that both of us go to bed at the same time.

Better communication can mean becoming more connected with your partner and better sex. After all, if you can't communicate with your partner what you want in bed, how will it get hotter? And what you want can change, so don't think that the things that worked a year ago will have the same effect.

I like quizzes that also discuss how to use your style to interact with others. I just read a review of Elemental Styles by Craig Martin. Hop on over to Body + Soul magazine to take the quiz.Or there's a different (and shorter) version on his website. Take it with your significant other--but don't wait until you're in bed!

I'm Fire. What is your element? Feel free to share in your comments. Do you think it's accurate?

You are creative, enthusiastic, and passionate; you are a person who takes charge. You like to get your way, and will often become quite vocal if others don ’t listen to you. You often have the best ideas, and people admire your outspoken and fun-loving attitude.

Disclosure: I have not yet read this book. I thought the quiz would be fun. However if Craig Martin or his publisher wants to send me a copy, I'll be happy to review it.

Come Laugh with Me

2009-12-11T13:58:00.000-05:00

Growing up, my sex education involved a lot of Don’ts. Of course all the girlie mags had a ton of Dos. In fact, that’s why we read them right?

Whether it was a Don’t or a Do, sex always seemed so serious. Especially the Do’s. My inexperienced teenage self couldn’t fathom the technical aspects of Cosmo’s Top 10 Hot Positions. His leg where? How much rocking? My leg does what? I have squeeze my what muscles?

Well, I’m here to say, Who cares? Sex is supposed to be fun! It’s supposed to feel good–for all parties involved.

When was the last time you laughed in bed? I don’t mean while watching Seinfeld reruns. I mean while having sex. Doing the nasty. I could go on but I won’t. Unless you have some good ones to share with me.
Let’s have some fun talk about sex and relationships. What kind of questions have you always wanted to ask but were afraid your friends would laugh at you? Like, what’s the etiquette when you’re giving head to your boyfriend, and in an attempt to not swallow, you shoot him in the eye? That actually happened to one of my college roommate. She was the shooter. Honest.

What makes me qualified for all this? Well, I love talking about sex. Ever since I escaped my Catholic upbringing and ran away to college. And starting having sex. Now I sell sex toys for a living. I’m a mom too so there might be a bit of talk on how to squeeze a quickie in while the kid is enamored with Sesame Street on tv.

So won’t you talk sex with me? If you don’t want to leave it in the comments, you can email me at kimstoys at gmail dot com.

PS I have no idea what my roommate told her boyfriend. I would have laughed my ass off though.

About Me & Contact Me

2009-12-11T01:56:00.000-05:00

I've been a consultant for Passion Parties for over 8 years. I love helping women and couples learn how to enhance and deepen their relationship and intimacy. Of course sometimes that involves some fun props like lotions or buzzy toys!

Sex is supposed to be fun! I hope this blog will give you some new tips or insight to your sexual pleasure (with or without a partner). Talk to your partner about what your wants in the bedroom. Don't be afraid to laugh in bed.

You can also find me blogging my creative adventures (with and without the kids) at Cup of Creativi-Tea, parenting adventures at I'm Not the Nanny, and miscallaneous musings at Passion and Art.

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