laughter News

2012-06-24T01:24:00.001-07:00

Man: Lord can I ask u a
question?
GOD: Sure!
Man: Promise u won't
get mad
GOD: I promise
Man: Why did u let so
much stuff happen to
me today?
GOD: What do u mean?
Man: Well, I woke up
late,
GOD: Yes
Man: My car took
forever to start,
GOD: Okay
Man: at lunch they
made my sandwich
wrong & I had to wait,
GOD: Huummmm...
Man: On the way home,
my phone went DEAD,
just as I picked up a
call.....
GOD: All right
Man: And on top of it
all, when I got home I
just wanted to soak my
feet in my new foot
massager & relax. BUT it
wouldn't work!!!
Nothing went right
today! Why did you do
that?
GOD: Let me see..., the
death Angel was at your
bed this morning & I
had to send one of the
other angels to battle
him for your life. I let
you sleep through that
GOD: I didn't let your
car start because there
was a drunk driver on
your route that would
have hit you if you were
on the road.
GOD: The first person
who made your
sandwich today was sick
& I didn't want you to
catch what they have, I
knew you couldn't
afford to miss work.
GOD: Your phone went
dead because the
person that was calling
was going to give false
witness about what you
said on that call, I didn't
even let you talk to
them so you would be
covered.
GOD: Oh and that foot
massager, it had a
shortage that was going
to throw out all of the
power in your house
tonight. I didn't think
you wanted to be in the
dark.
GOD: learn to trust me
in all things, the good &
the bad. And don't
doubt that my plan for
your day is always better
than your plan.
Man: I won't Lord. And
let me just tell you Lord,
thank you for everything
today.
GOD: You're welcome
child. It was just another
day being your Lord and
I love looking after my
children...
Moral: be thnkful 2 God
in evry situation... Have
u thanked him 4
2day?

joke

2012-06-24T01:11:00.000-07:00

A carpenter was travelling to the next village with a coffin one night. His car broke down so he decided to carry the coffin and walk. A police man wanted to take bribe from him. Police: why are you carring that @ this time? Carpenter: Sir, I don't like where I was burried so am relocating

joke by newtown

2012-06-11T07:04:00.000-07:00

One yoruba man
always goes to eat
Rice and stew in a certain
restaurant in Warri. One day, when he
went to eat at d
restaurant they told him;
Stew never done!
The man said; No
problem, just bring ordinary rice for me.
He ate d ordinary rice.
immediately he finished
eating they informed him;
Oga d
stew don done.
the man replied; Oya, Bring the
stew wey una
suppose put for my rice!
They gave him
d stew. the man
drank d stew, b4 i knew what was happening,
he started tumbling
and scattering d whole
place,
he used his body to hit d
ground several
times. I managed to
hold him down
and asked him what was
wrong.
The man said (breathing heavily); I
dey mix the rice and
stew wey dey inside my
belle!

what are the differences

2012-06-11T07:01:00.002-07:00

U buy eggroll N150, I buy buns N15, boil
one egg N30, all na N45... #MoneyCannotWaste.
U buy 5 alive N300, I buy orange +mango+pineapple N80 naira..my
own get natural nutrient.. #MoneyCannotWaste.
Nepa cut ur light, U pay N2000 sharp
sharp, I wait, call electrician for nite for N200 fix my wire back..
#MoneyCannotWaste.
U buy milo, milk and sugar, I buy cowbell chocolate which already contains every...
#MoneyCannotWaste
U pay 5k go watch MI for show, I buy him cd N100, stay room play and sing along #
MoneyCannotWaste
U dey chop pop corn of N1000 for cinema and I dey chop guguru & epa of N20 for house dey watch tv..shey our mouth dey move, movie dey show go! #MoneyCannotWaste
U buy red bull N300 to become active, I buy paraga N20, Am
super active... mtcheww
#MoneyCannotWaste
U buy rosé (red wine), I buy zobo and add squaddy, all ną red wine...
#MoneyCannotWaste
U fix 100k brazillian hair, I buy N100 xpression attachment, I fine pass you...n guys don't know d difference #MoneyCannotWaste
U go club for VI, buy hennesey of 40k, Me go one joint, buy alomo N200..all na highness
#MoneyCannotWaste
U pay N50 to watch match in a viewing centre, I stand outside to watch d match all na d same..
#MoneyCannotWaste...
You buy bb torch 95k, I buy storm 15k, shey all of us dey
ping?
Mtchewww..
Abeg Abeg!!!! I no fit shout!!!!=))
All na de same

NEW SWAG

2012-06-06T05:16:00.001-07:00

Latest in town,so dont DULL

history makers

2012-05-27T16:57:00.001-07:00

Happy democracy day NIGERIA....MY BELOVED COUNTRY

• Where our mothers use ice cream bowls to store pepper in the fridge
• Where ladies don't accept flowers for valentine or birthday.
... • Where lizard go look ur eyeball, nod head say "notin dey happen guy"
• Where a blind beggar will reject a fake naira note.
• Where Groundnuts are sold in BOTTLES and WATER is sold in SATCHETS.
• Where parents claim they were always first position in school.
• Where You Can Be A Driver For Years Without A 'DRIVER's LICENCE'
• Where government officials don't know the national anthem.
•Where Gala and Lacasera are the best options when stuck in traffic.
• Where you are jailed for stealing Maggi and given a chieftancy title for stealing billions.
• Where we fight for everything. To gain
admission into a university, to get a job and worse, to enter a bus!
• Where you are robbed of your phone and the robbers come back for your Pin code and charger.
• Where your type of GENERATOR shows how RICH you are.
• Where you can easily blame your family members in the village for your problems.
• Where rich men must have pot belly.
• WHERE IF YOU DO ANYHOW, YO U GO SEE ANYHOW.
• Where generator is a social amenity.
• Where people dey collect change for beggar hand.
• Where Igbo men produce Toyota camry jeans and Dr'dre slippers
• Where the man who had no shoes is the
president.
•Where BB torch is sold in traffic for N12k!!!!
.Where gals carry bb touch bt yet dey r squatn in pipu's house.
.Where u must b a good liar b4 u bcum a politician.
.Where we sack doctors bt beg terrorists 2 cum 4 negotiations.
.Where u buy a celin Dion video cd only to play it at home n wat u see on ur tv screen is Oliver de coque playing.....abeg add d 1s wey I 4gt........

jokes of the week

2012-05-23T05:00:00.002-07:00

A man faintd @d front of mr.biggs n in no time pple were gathered round him & a lady suggestd mke una give am water,d man opened his eyes n said,comot frm here if i wnt water i 4 go faint 4 water board.

A plane with 5 passengers was about to crash in midair and therewere only 4 parachutes.
1st passenger, Lionel Messi: I'm d
world's best footballer, my fans
still need me. He takes one and
jumps
2nd passenger, Aliko Dangote:
I'mAfrica'srichest man. I don't
want to die now He takes another
one and jumps.
3rd passenger, Goodluck
Jonathan: I'm the President of
Nigeria, the most powerful and
intelligent President in Africa. I
have Boko and Subsidy issues to
deal with He takes one and jumps.
4th passenger was d Pope, Pope
said to d 5th passenger, an 8 yr
old girl "I'm anold
man, I'll sacrifice my life for Urs "
but d girlreplied "no need for dat
there are 2 parachutes left.
"how can that be?" asked Pope.
The girl replied "The Nigerian
President took my school bag

A grandma and her
grandson were
shopping in a
supermarket. The
grandma realise that the
kid has picked a toy, she
calls out; "Degree, put
that toy back". The kid
returned the toy back.
Astonishly, another
customer asks; is that
his name? The grandma
replies; yes, I sent his
mother to the
UNIVERSITY to study
but this is what she
brought back.

chelsea record

2012-05-23T04:41:00.004-07:00

World Record Breaking Defence. Who can beat that?lol

things ar nt the same

2012-05-23T04:30:00.001-07:00

kukere by pinky

2012-05-23T04:27:00.001-07:00

news:drogba leaving

2012-05-23T02:20:00.002-07:00

chelsea1`s living legend

laughter News: super story

2012-05-23T02:10:00.001-07:00

laughter News: super story

school life style

2012-05-23T00:42:00.003-07:00

babes chillin

super story

2012-05-23T00:33:00.001-07:00

man must relax abi

euro champions 2012

2012-05-22T07:11:00.002-07:00

chelsea fan with a cow for the trophy.what a dramertic 2012

dbanj signs david o

2012-05-22T06:45:00.003-07:00

naija anoda story online......don jazz again don go abi

chelsea vs gunner`s

2012-05-22T03:26:00.002-07:00

chelsea has made a heronic win over munich.naija fans celebrate like neva before.CHAMPIONS!!! Gunners dis a fancy joke

joke by newtown

2012-05-07T07:33:00.001-07:00

Imagine ur grandpa on his sick bed n his last words were,"my dear I left 100million naira for u in in in in" and he died. What will u do??? Answer me please

basket mouth comedy latest 2012

2012-05-07T05:07:00.001-07:00

basket mouth comedy latest 2012 with david O

2012-05-07T05:00:00.001-07:00

solve

2012-04-19T23:45:00.000-07:00

Solve this geographical riddile.
I am the frist on earth,
the second in heaven,
i appear two time in a week,
you can only see me once in a year,
although i am in the middle of the see.
What am i

joke by koffi

2012-04-17T00:13:00.002-07:00

One day, John - an aeroplane
cleaner was cleaning the
pilot’s cockpit when he saw
a book entitled, “HOW TO
FLY AN AEROPLANE FOR
BEGINNERS,VOL. 1”.
He opened the the first page
which said, “To start the
engine,press the red
button”. He did so and the
airplane engine started.
He was pleased and opened
the next page, “To set
airplane moving press blue
button”.
He did so and the plane
started moving at an
amazing speed. He wanted
to fly, so he opened the 3rd
page which said, “To let
airplane fly, please press the
green button”. He did so and
the plane started to fly. He
was so happy.
After 20 minutes of flying,
he was satisfied and wanted
to land so he decided to go
the 4th page. He fainted
after reading the
instructions. The 4th page
said, “To learn how to land a
plane please watch out for
Volume 2

question for nigerians

2012-04-17T00:11:00.004-07:00

physics say anything wey go up must cum down like projectile bt in nigeria,any tin wey go up no dey cum down or torch ground.eg moni spray and prize of goods like biscuit ,it was 5naira b4 n nw 10naira.if u take note den dat it was 5naira was even sweet n beta dan nw it 10naira.y na

ellenu on da mic

2012-04-17T00:08:00.002-07:00

joke by ratta

2012-04-17T00:07:00.000-07:00

WEDDING TEST.
PASSED OR FAILED?
I'm a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend
and I ... ... have been dating for over a year,
and so we decided to get married. There was
... only one little thing bothering me... her
beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two,
wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was
bra-less. She would regularly bend down
when she near me, and I always got more
than a nice view. It had to be deliberate.
Because she never did it when she was near
anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me
to come over to check the wedding
invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and
she whispered to me that she had feelings
and desires for me that she couldn't
overcome. She told me that she wanted me
just once before I got married and committed
my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a
word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my
bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling,
just come up and get me.I was stunned and
frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs. I stood there for a moment, then
turned and made a beeline straight to the
front door. I opened the door, and headed
straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my
entire future family was standing outside, all
clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law
hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that
you have passed our little test. We couldn't
ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family. The moral of this story
is: Always keep your master's rain coat in
your car, because I was on my way to fetch
them when I passed the test..

laughter News

joke

A carpenter was travelling to the next village with a coffin one night. His car broke down so he decided to carry the coffin and walk. A police man wanted to take bribe from him. Police: why are you carring that @ this time? Carpenter: Sir, I don't like where I was burried so am relocating

joke by newtown

what are the differences

NEW SWAG

history makers

jokes of the week

chelsea record

World Record Breaking Defence. Who can beat that?lol

things ar nt the same

kukere by pinky

news:drogba leaving

laughter News: super story

school life style

super story

euro champions 2012

dbanj signs david o

chelsea vs gunner`s

joke by newtown

Imagine ur grandpa on his sick bed n his last words were,"my dear I left 100million naira for u in in in in" and he died. What will u do??? Answer me please

basket mouth comedy latest 2012

basket mouth comedy latest 2012 with david O

solve

Solve this geographical riddile. I am the frist on earth, the second in heaven, i appear two time in a week, you can only see me once in a year, although i am in the middle of the see. What am i

joke by koffi

question for nigerians

physics say anything wey go up must cum down like projectile bt in nigeria,any tin wey go up no dey cum down or torch ground.eg moni spray and prize of goods like biscuit ,it was 5naira b4 n nw 10naira.if u take note den dat it was 5naira was even sweet n beta dan nw it 10naira.y na

ellenu on da mic

joke by ratta

Solve this geographical riddile.
I am the frist on earth,
the second in heaven,
i appear two time in a week,
you can only see me once in a year,
although i am in the middle of the see.
What am i