Laundry for Six

tender mercies

2012-03-02T16:43:00.005-05:00

And somehow another week has passed me by.

The letters arrived. Two fat envelopes. Good sign, right?

Tide got into both schools he applied to and got money from both. A substantial amount of money. Enough that the feeling of financial doom that had been hanging on to my heart muscle, squeezing it just enough that I was constantly conscious of it, has slipped off and faded away.

He picked the school I love the most.

The one I thought would nurture his heart as well as his mind. The one that would take his inquisitive yet skeptical nature and form him into a seeker of wisdom and truth.

The one with the urban campus, where he will learn his city and become a steward of it. Serving its homeless and tutoring its young.

The one that has the best school colors.

I'm proud of my boy.

And very grateful.

drumroll please...

2012-02-24T12:03:00.003-05:00

Today is the day.

The high school letters come out. The one that will include the attachment about Tide's full scholarship.

Right?

On a completely related note, I just sent out three resumes. I am really looking forward to working again, despite the fact that it might make things a little more hectic around here. Now, I'm sitting on my couch hitting refresh on my email every 10 seconds. No job offers yet.

Bounce has already given up her vegan Lenten resolution (whew). I'm decided to give up my internet time when the kids are home from school. I just found a slew of new home design blogs that are hard to resist though.

As you can see above, I did execute a hair intervention, and it was a mood lifter. That and I dealt with the laundry cluttering the living room and tackled a few items on my never-ending To Do list.

I do need to work exercise back into my routine. I haaaaaate doing it (I'm with you, Rita) but I always feel so much better (and ok, I admit, a wee bit self-righteous even) afterward. There's a beautiful lake I could walk around nearby (I am a little sick of just hiking the hills and dales of my neighborhood) but I'm also a teeny bit afraid of getting mugged or something. Is there some sort of pepper spray app I could download?

something blue

2012-02-23T09:34:00.003-05:00

I have been in a funk.

I'm not sure if it's February. Or the regular treadmill of life. Or the fact that I need a job. Or just all the laundry piled up.

But today, it's going to be 70 degrees and I'm going to get my haircut! If that doesn't re-set my mood, I don't know what will. (Ok, and I have some chocolate in my purse.)

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. I haven't decided if I want to give up something for Lent. I'm not very good at these things. Bounce announced at breakfast yesterday that she was going vegan for Lent.

Uh. Great.

How do you get out of a funk?

broken

2012-02-14T08:44:00.003-05:00

Ok, you all are wise!

I read your comments and thought about each one. I sat down and wrote an email, like Jack suggested. I was tempted to send it right away.

But I stuck it in my Drafts folder and walked away for a few hours. And you know what? After a few hours, I felt better just for having written it. I didn't need to send it.

I went back and forth over the Friend/Unfriend decision. Nothing needs to change. But it has become symbolic for me.

And I realized after reading Kate's comment that it is time to Unfriend. I spent a fair amount of energy yesterday on this person who doesn't want to have a relationship with me. I could have used that energy to strengthen my connection with someone who does. Someone who has my back. Someone I can call when life gets crappy. Or when I need someone to dance the Happy Dance with me.

And although there is a part of me that wishes my old friend was still keeping up on my life through Facebook, the truth is, why am I sharing my life with someone who has closed me out of hers?

In the end, I thought about where I would want this all to end up. Would I want to re-kindle my friendship on some level? No. I don't think I could do that. Not with someone who could toss me away without even trying to tell me what was wrong. Even if the problem was about her and not me.

For me, relationships are not disposable. I believe that people we love help form the core of who we are. That even if we aren't close anymore, that connection is always there.

It goes against my nature to break ties with someone.

But it's also time to stand up for myself. To say that I deserve better. There are people out there who do have my back, and my energy is better spent strengthening my bonds with them.

Thank you all for your comments. I'm off to Unfriend.

crowdsourcing

2012-02-13T09:13:00.006-05:00

About a year ago, I wrote a post about a friend (a really good friend, a she-was-My-Person-kind of friend), who stopped speaking to me. I don't know why.

It's been a few years now. I've given up thinking that I should keep trying to contact her. That I should feel guilty about whatever may have happened. That it was about me.

I'm still Facebook friends with her, but she isn't much of a Facebook user. However, I am. I always wonder if she's out there, keeping up with my life via Facebook, even though for whatever reason she feels that she can't communicate with me right now. Sometimes I find that comforting.

Other times, it bugs the hell out of me.

I noticed recently that she changed the settings on her Facebook wall. I can't see posts there any more and I can't post to her wall. (Not that I ever have.) For someone who doesn't use Facebook much, it seems like an overt message... "I'm shutting the door in your face."

Right?

I'm not sure why she didn't just unfriend me.

So now my question. Do I keep things as they are... knowing that it's possible she sees my Facebook posts and pictures of my kids, because deep down, I sort of want to believe that she still cares about those things? Or because at least it's a sign that I haven't cut her off, even if she's cut me off?

Or do I just unfriend her and put this to rest?

Why does this still bother me after so much time?

let's laugh

2012-02-10T09:06:00.004-05:00

It's been a rough week around here. I could use a little funny. Let's see...

Yesterday morning my van's sliding doors were frozen shut, which is weird because this is the winter of Global Weirding and it wasn't even below freezing outside. Everyone had to climb in the driver's side door and through to the back. I was worried about the spectacle we would create in the drop off line at school (because we're kind of spectacle causing on our best day). Fortunately, it warmed up enough on the drive that the doors opened when we got there. The kids were threatening to refuse to exit the car. I was prepared to leave them in the school parking lot and walk home.

My kids have no manners. It drives me crazy. They have no sense about how to speak to adults or to reply to regular pleasantries. Tide was so shy when he was younger, that I never forced him to talk to someone if he wasn't comfortable, so he never talked to anyone. I guess I never picked up that task again. So today, I bribed them with cookies. If they all said GOOD MORNING to the teacher who is standing at the drop off line, I said I'd make cookies after school. So they all whispered in their softest voices, "good morning" as they exited the van. I barely heard them. There's no way the teacher did. I guess I'll make teeny tiny cookies. Baby steps, right?

Cheer hurt his knee. I think. He's been complaining about it for awhile. Maybe since Christmas? (I know, I know. I've been busy.) He mostly complains right at bedtime, which makes me a little suspicious. I finally took him to the pediatrician last week. (On an unrelated tangent, there are SO MANY new doctors at my pediatrician's office. They must hire a new doctor every 3 months. I don't know who anyone is anymore. It's annoying.) Anyway, he practically leapt off the table when she bent his knee all the way. So now we have to go to an orthopedist. So I'm taking him to the one who is the team doctor at the local university. If nothing else, I bet there's cool pictures in the waiting room.

Shout is back to sleeping with the barf bucket. The other night, she woke up in the middle of the night (as usual). So I went and laid (lied? I never understood this part of grammar - I'm going to make up my own word... LEAFED) ... I leafed down in her bed to get her to go back to sleep. In her fog, she somehow punched me right in the face with the barf bucket and gave me a fat lip. It hurt, but it's not a bad look... sort of pouty/collagen injection-esque.

She also went to the office at school yesterday because she felt sick and wanted to come home. They apparently took her temperature and when it was normal told her to go back to class. As it turns out, one of the art classes was making mud paintings and they had washed out a bowl of mud in the bathroom sink but didn't clean up very well. Shout saw it, thought it was barf, and immediately felt sick and had to go home. (I'm guessing she's not going to be a nurse.)

That's all I've got. Do you have anything funny to tell me?

what remains

2012-02-09T12:01:00.001-05:00

When I think of Susan Niebur, so many thoughts come to mind. But the one that percolates to the top is a quote from Gandhi.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Oh my, how Susan changed the world.

Not just once, but many times over.

read the rest of this post over at the DC Moms

in her own words

2012-02-09T11:00:00.000-05:00

This is Susan Niebur.

I was in the audience and it was an electrifying moment. I feel the same way watching the video.

come morning light

2012-02-06T22:02:00.005-05:00

This morning, I was doing my usual dance ... making breakfasts, packing lunches, prodding sleepy children, brushing tangled hair, confiscating electronic devices, searching for lost shoes. We were all up late last night watching the Super Bowl and everyone was a little grouchy. Shout was to do a reading at the Monday morning prayer service at school and woke up with laryngitis and a bad case of nerves.

I finally managed to shuttle them all into the car and fly up the road to make the very latest drop-off time.

This is one of the most stressful hours of my day. And yet, these past few weeks, since my friend, Susan, has been on hospice, she has been on my mind and in my heart throughout my day. Including the more stressful parts.

Especially the more stressful parts.

The very act of getting in the car and driving my kids to school, a task I have probably cursed and wished away on the worst mornings, is something that Susan wasn't able to do for the past several months. These last few weeks, she couldn't chase her boys around the kitchen with a hairbrush or shove her arm waaaay under the couch to feel for an errant sneaker. And I know that she felt each of those little losses keenly.

And we all know that motherhood is hard and stressful and sometimes unforgiving. And part of being a mother in the blogging community is being able to acknowledge that out loud.

I really don't like chasing my kids around the kitchen with a hairbrush. But I can.

And in these last two weeks, despite how frustrating it may be, I have tried to celebrate it.

Appreciate it.

My kids are healthy enough to run from me. I'm healthy enough to chase them. They have hair to brush. And shoes to put on their feet. There's gas in the car, and I can get in it and drive them to school.

There are so many little blessings in that hour.

It's still stressful. But I have had a smile on my face and Susan in my heart.

Today, as I was working my way through my morning routine and reminding myself to appreciate it, Susan went home to God.

There are angels who walk among us in this world, and she was one of them. Her rest is well-deserved. She fought like a warrior against the cancer that tried to take so much from her. But the loss of her is sharp and painful.

Her husband and two sons have been in my constant prayers for weeks. If you could add them to yours, I would be so grateful.

I have more to say, but it's going to take me a few days to be more coherent.

In the meantime, hold your babies tight. Even when they are frustrating you.

Especially when they are frustrating you.

left behind

2012-02-06T10:51:00.005-05:00

I forgot my password, it's been so long!

So much is going on... so many things I'd like to say, so many things I can't get out.

My friend, Susan, is very, very sick. And I'm sick at heart and completely unable to talk about it without lots of tears. (If you've read Susan's blog, or just want to leave her a message of encouragement, you can do it on this Facebook page.) My mother-in-law is sick. My brother is sick. It's entirely possible that I cause cancer. (forgive my lame attempt at humor)

The crazy thing about life though, it that it keeps going on. Despite the fact that my heart is heavy, I still have to make 18 meals a day, drive 25 carpools a week, wash 2 loads of laundry a day, and tuck, cajole, prod, celebrate, encourage and nurture the 4 little people I'm in charge of.

That's a good thing because otherwise, I think I'd be sitting on my sofa in front of Lifetime TV with a gallon of Rocky Road.

This weekend, we were invited to a birthday party. We arrived in 2 cars with all four kids. Shout and Cheer were supposed to stay at the party with me, and Tide and Bounce were supposed to go home with Laundry Dad. I'm not sure how it happened, but Cheer went home and only Shout stayed at the party. It took about 15 minutes of searching and a few text messages to figure out what happened.

Then, later the same day, we went to a Super Bowl party in the same fashion. Two cars. At the end, I grabbed Shout (who desperately needed to get to bed) and told one of the other kids that I would take her, "Dad should take THREE."

A little while later, I got a text from the mom who hosted the party. "Um... Cheer is still here."

Laundry Dad pulled into the driveway moments later, dropped the two kids in the car off and went back for Cheer.

I guess I have to congratulate myself that this is the first time in nearly 14 years of parenting that's happened. Right?

I think the solution is that we need to all arrive in one car.

pennies from heaven (or, somewhere, hopefully)

2012-01-20T08:51:00.006-05:00

Ever since the fall, I've been having panic attacks in my sleep. I wake up, heart racing, afraid I've missed some major deadline for Tide's high school applications.

I was so glad when we finally got them all sent in. I knew I just needed to fill out the paperwork for financial aid and scholarships, which I'm hoping will factor in heavily because Catholic high schools around here cost almost $20,000/year. (I know, right?) But those weren't due until February.

*insert ominous music here*

On Saturday morning, I woke up in a panic about the financial aid forms. So I decided to pull them out and start working on them right away, even though they weren't due for a few weeks.

*ominous music again*

Except one of the forms had been due 4 days before.

I MISSED THE DEADLINE.

Holy freak out! My stomach dropped, my pulse raced, my scalp went cold.

HOW DID I MISS THE FREAKING DEADLINE????

I did a quick review of the process and realized that you could do the form online (which gets processed immediately) or by mail (which takes 10-12 days), so I PRAYED that if I did it online, mine would actually get there BEFORE the people who did it by mail (IF they waited until the last day which is probably what I would have done HAD I KNOWN WHEN THE LAST DAY WAS.)

We spent a few hours filling out the form online. It actually made us look rather poor.

How many kids do you have in tuition paying institutions? 4
How much will the total tuition be for next year? MUCH more than I made in my first job.
How much are your cars worth? The minivan with all the bike and scooter scratches on the side and the dent from when I backed into that tree in the preschool parking lot? {WHO PLANTS A TREE IN A PARKING LOT?} Or the Suburu with the baseball-sized dents on the hood and roof from parking too close to baseball practice? Either way? NOT MUCH.
How much did you spend on vacation last year? ZERO
How much money in your savings account? What savings account?
How much did you have in un-reimbursed medical expenses last year? Enough to make me cry.
How much will your medical insurance premiums cost this year? TWICE what they cost last year. For even LESS coverage. {sob}

Come to think of it, those financial aid forms are downright depressing.

I submitted the form online and faxed a copy to the school immediately with a cover letter begging for mercy and offering up my children as indentured servants. Then I called on Tuesday (after the MLK holiday). No answer. Left a message. No call back. Called again the next day. Waited again.

Then, FINALLY, a call back.

"It's all fine. No worries. That date is arbitrary. We won't start looking at those for a few weeks."

I can't TELL you how relieved I was. I would have popped open some champagne, but it was only 3 in the afternoon. Also, next year, when I fill out the financial aid form, it might ask how much champagne I've drunk. I need to say zero.

Box wine only here.

Housekeeping note: I haven't used the Laundry for Six Facebook page for much besides linking to new posts. (Which, I know, have been few and far between.) But I'm going to start posting status updates over there, which will hopefully bridge the gap between posts over here, until I can get myself on some sort of regular schedule again. So if you haven't Liked me on Facebook, click on over there.

2012

2012-01-04T13:17:00.004-05:00

Happy New Year!

We've been celebrating here. My dad turned 80 last week and we threw him a surprise dinner. (And were really glad when yelling "SURPRISE" didn't cause him to have a heart attack. Fortunately, he had just had angioplasty the week before. Otherwise, who knows? It might have been traumatic.)

Cheer turned 9. NINE! He's really 9 now. He's adorable and I wish I could bottle him up. Or clone him. Except for right after he's been out on his pogo stick or playing basketball. Then he kinda stinks.

School opened it's doors again yesterday! Halle-freaking-lujah! I love the break from homework and alarm clocks and uniforms. But six people cannot get along for twelve days in close quarters. They cannot. If you don't believe me, I have video. Also? Now I have the new iPad all to myself for a few hours. Because I never got a turn with it while the kids were home.

It's a New Year. Big changes are coming this year. Tide is graduating from 8th grade. Starting high school. The big full-ride scholarship to some high school is coming. I just know it. (Ok, so that won't happen.) Hopefully a job for me. I'm still completely conflicted about what to do with myself. School, no school. New career, old career. Easy, flexible job. Actual important job with responsibilities. Someone please tell me what to be when I grow up.

Did you make any resolutions?

I want to get 8 hours of sleep a night. (I probably should have picked something easy like running a marathon or writing a book.) So far, it's only happened one night. Baby steps.

Here's to a 2012 with more good than suck. (Optimistic, I know.)

the unfettering

2011-12-28T19:50:00.003-05:00

The beauty and magic of Christmas knocked me over again, as it does year after year. The early morning footsteps, the squeals, the voices begging us to get out of bed so the present opening can begin. (If you remember, last year, this started at 4:10am. This year, was a much more respectable 7:00am.)

The fear that hangs heavy in my heart through most of December - that someone will be disappointed, his or her little heart crushed - and that it will be all my fault, is finally put to rest. It's a hefty responsibility - one that has little to do with the baby Jesus - but everything to do with motherhood and the memories of Christmases past, and the generations of mothers before me who stayed up late sewing doll clothes or saving a few pennies from the groceries week after week to surprise their children with something they never expected.

Somehow, it always works out. And although I wish that part of Christmas, the gifting and the spending and the shopping, was somehow less stressful and less important, I strive each year to make sure my children understand how fortunate, how very blessed we are. We spend the other 364 days of the year saying "No. Sorry. Too expensive. Can't afford it." On this one day, it's a wonderful treat to make a few dreams come true.

We repeat our traditions - Christmas eve at the grandparents, church in the morning, monkey bread for breakfast, dinner on the good china. And although there is something in me that strains against rigid tradition, I know that these are the things that my children will do with their children. And are in fact, the very things that my grandparents did with their children. And I stand aside with my need for change and newness and grab onto the worn and weathered threads that bind all these generations together.

Our Christmas was lovely. How was yours?

fettered

2011-12-19T23:34:00.002-05:00

I should be doing something.

My Christmas cards are still unwritten, cookies unbaked, presents unwrapped, and more than a few still unboughten. There is food to buy. Dinners to plan. I should make a list. (But I know I won't.)

I never actually finished decorating. We pulled out all the boxes and had a huge explosion of the Christmas tchotchkes. Some I love. Some I hate. Some to which I am indifferent. All of which I have little room for. And it all makes me feel like the walls are closing in on me. I packed up the ones I couldn't deal with, left the "maybe" pile sitting out, and there they still sit. In disarray on the coffee table. As if left by the Ghost of Christmas Disorganized.

My kids (some of them, anyway) have settled into their usual pre-Christmas routine of acting like they deserve, well... nothing but coal. And yet, I have it on good authority that they will do much better than that. I weigh the balance of a good lesson learned vs. years of therapy and I know this is one time I will not follow though. There must be something biochemical, or barometric, or hormonal that causes their behavior, because I could set my watch by it. It arrived right on schedule. But still it angers me to the point of speechlessness.

It's at this point that I have lost all sense of the meaning of what I'm doing. I'm grimly marching forward. Circling parking lots and sliding my credit card over and over again. There has to be a better way of doing this. And yet, year after year, I don't find it. Or I forget to look for it until it's too late.

on repeat: The Laundry for Six Guide to Toys

2011-12-14T00:36:00.002-05:00

Life has been a bit crazy here for the past few weeks. So I JUST started my Christmas shopping yesterday. If you are at all like me and are still shopping for gifts for the kiddos, check out some of my favorite toys here.

I'm reposting this from last year. (I was so organized last year that I posted this in November. Oh to be that gal again.) I hope to do a gift guide for games later this week. Or if I don't get to it, I'll at least point you to some good ones in other places!

As you might imagine, we've been through a lot of toys in this house. Some of them went to the trash in less than a week. Others, I'll be saving for my grandchildren. And most of them fall somewhere in between. I thought I'd share some of my favorites. But first, let me tell you my rules for a good toy.

Rule 1
No batteries is best, no EXPENSIVE batteries is a must. I will not be loading size D batteries in a kid's toy.

Rule 2
Nothing with a bazillion pieces. And if there are more than 20 pieces, you need to be able to lose a piece or two and still be able to play with the toy. If every piece is essential, it won't last 2 hours in our house. (Puzzles are an exception.)

Rule 3
I hate toys that you put together in one particular way and that's the only way you can use it. That usually means that I'm the one who has to put it together, which defeats the whole purpose. I'll get to Legos in a bit, but I like Legos much better after the thing you are supposed to make (house, Star Wars ship, whatever) has fallen apart and they use the blocks to build something of their own creation.

Rule 4
Wood is almost always better than plastic.

Rule 5
I'm not usually a consumer of high-end anything, but some toys are worth the extra money. Most of these are on the pricier end, but I only included the ones that were totally worth it.

And before I get started, this post is not sponsored by anyone. These are actual toys that we own and love. None of the manufacturers have contacted me nor have I contacted them. No money has been exchanged and no one was injured in the writing of this post. Several of the toys I've listed are from Hearth Song because I love their stuff and the toys are well-made.

Barbarossa Pirate Ship and Papo Pirates

This wooden ship is sturdy and well-made. The pirates are resin and incredibly detailed and realistic. (Something to consider if you have a kid who scares easily.) My kids have spent hours playing with various pirate sets (including Playmobil ones which I also like, but have lots and lots of tiny pieces) and these are my favorites. I'll be hanging on to these for the grandkids.

Kelly dolls

Kelly is Barbie's younger sister. These dolls are so much nicer than Barbies. They are the perfect size to tuck in a kid-sized purse, their clothes are much easier to put on and there are no freakish anatomical measurements. They usually come in sets of several dolls with a few accessories.

Foam Tile Activity Mat

They don't make the exact one we have anymore, but this mat is similar. (Some other brands make noise. Beware. I don't know about your kids, but mine already make plenty of noise.) The tiles are foam and can be put together several different ways. (See Rule 3.) My kids spend hours with this mat, adding Hot Wheels to the road, airplanes to the airport, Fisher Price Little People, pirates and Kellys for the people. It has a school, playground, farm and lake. It's soft, portable (comes in a zipper case) and encourages lots of imaginative play.

Wooden train set

We started with the Thomas set and mostly kept to that brand. But Brio trains and tracks are similar quality and are compatible with the Thomas wooden tracks. We have thousands of dollars invested in tracks and trains, but they are worth every single penny. My kids have spent hours playing with these.

These days, the older kids design the track layouts and the younger kids play with it. We don't have a train table, so we have to set it up on the floor (and while I'd love the space for a table, it definitely limits how big of a track you can make). I hate tripping over things, but I'd trip over this 100 times a day because I love it so much. My girls and boys alike have enjoyed this toy. (I will caution you about getting cheaper track pieces - we got some at Costco a few years back and they were not worth it. The pieces didn't line up quite right, the trains were not as sturdy and the connector parts on the tracks were a plastic peg which was easy to pull out - totally chokeable at worst, totally annoying at best. I know IKEA has a wooden train set and I haven't tried it, so I can't comment on those. Melissa & Doug too, I think. Anyone tried them?)

Blocks

We probably have a dozen different sets of blocks. You can't go wrong with blocks and you can't have too many. (At least in my house.) I have a few sets that I really love.

Castle blocks

These blocks are pricey, but worth every penny. They are handmade in the USA from scrap lumber and have intricate details. And if you sign up for the email newsletter, there are often sales and specials. My kids have been inspired to make some amazing things with them.

Dominos

I think we have 4 sets of Dominos (and use them all), but I keep these colored ones with the blocks and they get used for building.

Architectural Blocks

This isn't the exact set we have, but these unusual shapes and building parts make for some very intricate structures and hours of playing time.

Legos

More building!

You either love Legos or hate them. We love them. Yes, there are tiny pieces and yes, they REALLY hurt when you step on them, but they can keep my kids busy for HOURS doing creative things. Most Legos come in a set where you follow a complicated set of instructions to build a specific thing. Younger kids can't possibly put it together by themselves. And once you have invested hours in building it, you don't want ANYONE TO TOUCH IT. And eventually, it gets knocked over and breaks apart and there are TEARS! and DRAMA! But never fear - for THEN, the fun is just beginning.

Throw away the instruction book and toss all the Legos in a giant bin and let them have at it.

Or skip all the drama and buy a set that isn't meant to go together in any specific way. (Again with Rule 3.) Search for "Lego Building Set" on Amazon and you will get some of these. They usually come in plastic bins, not boxes, like the picture above.

I will say that my boys play with these much more than my girls, but I think even an all-girl house should have at least one set of Legos. (They have ones that come in more girly colors if that's an issue.)

If your kids aren't old enough for Legos or you have a baby that puts everything in his mouth, we also love Duplos and still play with them frequently.

Marble Race

Another building toy, but this one requires some strategy. We've had plastic and wood. Wood is definitely better.

Corolle dolls

We have a LOT of baby dolls. My favorites are Corolle dolls. They have beanbag bodies, which makes them feel more solid. Their faces have beautiful detail. The clothes are adorable. They come with attached pacifiers. And some of them are even scented.

Stunt Psycho Remote Control Car

Don't be scared by the name - this remote control car is AMAZING. It can drive over any terrain - rocks, ivy, tall grass and even goes up and down curbs. When it hits something it can't get past, it flips over and goes in the opposite direction.

We have had lots of remote control vehicles over the years... this one is the BOMB.

Play Kitchen

Of all the toys we've bought, we've probably gotten the most use out of our play kitchen. When I first bought it, I was a completely unsophisticated toy consumer. I bought the biggest, plasticist (I made that up) one I could find. It's fine, but if I was shopping today, I'd buy something with a little more style. And smaller. Something like the one above. We've added play grills over the years, plates and utensils and even a McDonalds cash register.

My kids have set up countless restaurants - McDonalds, The Krusty Krab, IHOP and a fancy French bistro.

Keep lots of props on hand. Aprons, a kid-size table and chairs. A chalkboard for a menu. Tiny placemats and napkins. Anything to keep that spark of imagination going.

As far as food, in most cases, I'd say plastic wins over wood in this case. Plastic food is more realistic looking. I like food that is similar in size to real food. (Some is teeny tiny.) I also HATE the food that you can cut in half and sticks together with velcro. I am the only one who EVER put the food back together. The only velcro food I can recommend is this pizza, which is awesome.

My Fairy Princess Palace Pop-Up Book

This book is a work of art. It opens up and ties to stay open and becomes a multi-level palace with it's own paper doll fairies. It's completely portable as it folds right back down into a book. It IS fragile. This is not for young toddlers. My 5-year old has been playing with it for over a year and is enchanted with it. (If you look at the bottom of the Amazon page I linked, there are other titles also. We also have Fairy Winter Wonderland and Santa is bringing My Fairy Funfair this year.)

Puzzle Blocks

We have several sets of puzzle blocks, including one that was Laundry Dad's when he was a kid. One of our sets is in a plastic suitcase-type carrier and it is a great toy to take to church or a restaurant. It's 6 puzzles in one, and once you are done with the puzzles, you can build a block tower too.

Modern Pattern Coloring Books

These coloring books are a wonderful gift for older kids. My kids sit for hours creating amazing works of art. The pages are made of vellum, so they are perfect for hanging in windows for your own personal stained glass effect. (I'll be honest, I love coloring in them too.) You can also buy them as a set with a box of fine-tip markers. I give the sets as birthday party gifts.

Klutz books

Klutz is another brand I love. They have a large selection of kit books for making a craft or learning a skill, like Friendship Bracelets or Fashion Design. My favorite Klutz books though are the ones we take on car rides and are full of puzzles, mazes, jokes and dot to dots.

Happy shopping! Feel free to post your favorite toys down in the comments below.

ICE! so nice

2011-12-13T08:32:00.009-05:00

Last weekend, the Laundry crew was invited to the Gaylord National to celebrate Christmas on the Potomac, Gaylord style.

We started off in the hotel with a milk and cookies reception.

If you live in DC and have never been inside the Gaylord, it's amazing. There's so much to see. And the Christmas decorations are gorgeous.

MammaLoves has a magic camera too!

Next, we got to meet all the Dreamworks characters with our Character Passports. This year, for the first time, this event is available to the general public. Previously only hotel guests got to hang with Shrek.

and Po

and even dance with Puss (This was the cutest thing ever! She was over the MOON. And I'm pretty sure Antonio Banderas was in that costume. Right?)

Next, we headed over to the ICE! tent and donned the big blue parkas they give you to keep from freezing. (And they work! But bring gloves, because they don't give you those. It's 9 degrees in there!)

It's hard to explain how AMAZING ICE! is. Two million pounds of ice are carved by Chinese artisans to create this one-of-a-kind attraction. Pictures don't even do it justice, but here are some:

Fire. Ice. Get it?

There are ice SLIDES! So fun! Don't go head first, like Laundry Dad, here. You'll get yourself kicked out.

The Nativity scene is hard to photograph (because it's see through!) but it's simply breathtaking.

Someone was a little cold and uncooperative by the end.

After seeing ICE!, we headed back to the Gaylord for the 6:30 (every evening) tree lighting, character performance, fountain show and SNOWFALL! I have to confess, I'm not usually a pageantry-lover, but this show had me grooving. I wasn't close enough to get a good picture, but here's the snow!

ICE! runs through January 8th. You can get tickets here. Go soon because the closer it gets to Christmas, the more crowded it gets.

The DreamWorks Character Experience is a separate event. Tickets for that are here. With that, you also get a scavenger hunt throughout the hotel, which my kids loved.

The Gaylord has lots of holiday packages that include tickets and other events. The 6:30 show is free and open to the public.

I also want to add a plug for the Santa at the Gaylord. He is the REAL Santa. I'm SURE of it. If you want to get your kids picture taken with Santa, go there. It's not part of any package, but I found the price of the pictures to be comparable to all the mall Santas with the fake beards. And you can't beat seeing The Real Guy.

holiday greetings

2011-12-08T10:47:00.009-05:00

First off, to understand some of this post, you have to watch this video.

The evening Shout had her nervous breakdown, I was planning to go to a holiday party sponsored by Tiny Prints with my blogger gals. Laundry Dad was late getting home from work. Shout had been on the couch for hours sobbing and holding a barf bucket under her chin.

It was not a festive time.

By the time I headed out to the party, I was already an hour late and had a 20 mile drive ahead of me.

I tried de-stress by playing LOUD MUSIC. It didn't really work.

I followed the directions from my GPS which lead me directly to a dead-end in a residential neighborhood. Now 1.5 hours past the party start time.

Just then, Someone Like You came on the radio.

I may have sobbed.

I fiddled with the GPS to see if I could get it to find my destination.

No luck.

I drove around singing Someone Like You at the top of my lungs (sorry neighborhood I was lost in) until I finally reached the parking lot of the historic Savage Mill, which is where the party was. Whew.

I dried my tears, fanned my face and headed in.

Except, when I looked at the map of the complex (which is a very cool collection of 19th century textile mill buildings), I realized I was as far away from the party as a person could be. And the building I was in (full of craft and artisan shops) was closing up for the night.

So I got back in my car and drove in circles around the complex until I found a parking lot that looked like a better bet. (I may have sung another chorus of Someone Like You.)

Then, I wandered around the building for 10 minutes trying to find the lovely and amazing photography studio where the party was. (And yes, thank goodness, it was still in full-swing.)

As I walked in, Leticia immediately stuck a glass of Skinny Girl Margarita in my hand (bless her!)and the relaxing process began.

Thank God for girlfriends, right?

Tiny Prints and Leticia threw a bang up party in the GORGEOUS studio of Love. Live. Images. (Seriously - it's my dream location. I want to live there. Look at all that exposed brick!)

There was food and drink and the amazing Mary Gardella used her magic camera to take headshots of us. (I love mine.)

She shared tips on getting a good holiday photograph of your family.

"My photo philosophy for taking great portraits is to be discreet and most importantly, patient! Engage the child in an activity that will bring out their little personalities (reading a favorite book, coloring/painting, singing songs, sitting up, belly time, dancing, tickling, furniture surfing, taking a bath, picking flowers, etc..). Look for the moments that make you smile. These are amazing times of growth and change in your child's life. It's so fun as a parent to witness the moments happen, it's even more precious to capture the moments for a lifetime." - Mary Gardella

Some of the other tips included:

First and foremost, RELAX. Enjoy the moment, don't get overstressed about outfits or getting everyone to look in the same direction. Some of the best family portraits are when a child is looking at a parent or kids are looking at each other.

Let your child hold a favorite object - a teddy bear, blankie, blue plastic barf bucket. (Heh.)

Let the photographer be in charge. Your kids will listen better.

Mary's blog has a full list of what to do before and during the session to make the most of it and enjoy it.

One of my favorite holiday cards is one where we used a "good" (and by "good," I mean, the best we could get) photo and an outtake. It was really funny.

Card design by Mira Greetings

This year, I was lucky to have a picture from Cheer's First Communion that I can use. (I had to crop out Cousin J. Sorry, girl!)

Tiny Prints has generously offered me some free holiday cards, so here's the one I think I'm going to use.

Do you have any holiday photo successes or disaster stories to share? (I especially love the disaster ones. We've all been there!)

Also, I have to tell you, if you are local, each month, Mary does $50 Fabulous Friday mini photo sessions deals for 5 lucky clients. The $50 price includes a 5x7 print. You can watch her blog for the next announcement or call Love Life Images at 410-491-5433 to see when the next one is available for booking. (Also, look at the pictures on Mary's website. She IS amazing!)

Tiny Prints sponsored the party and is giving me 50 free holiday cards in exchange for writing about it. All content and opinions are my own.

thankful

2011-11-30T22:25:00.001-05:00

I am thankful for many things from the past week.

Occupy New Jersey went off without a hitch.

Our Thanksgiving travels were not nearly as traffic-delayed as I expected.

We spent the weekend laughing with family and eating delicious food.

The weather was a delightful 60 degrees.

There was no barf. No hacking cough. Nary a fever.

And I am thankful for this little corner of the internet where I can send out a desperate cry and someone always, always, always has something to say to comfort me and help me.

Thank you for your comments on my last post. And especially thank you to Deb who read it and asked The Fairly Odd Mother to read it, because she has a daughter who went through something similar. And just knowing that this is A Thing, and not something that's just our own personal puzzle, made me feel so much better. I really can't tell you.

So thank you everyone.

I had a talk with Dr. Everything Will Be Alright. He gave me some medicine to try and the name of an art therapist, who (hold on to your hats) takes our insurance.

(I'll wait while you get up off the floor.)

And after a few weeks, if things aren't better, he wants to do some bloodwork and a more comprehensive GI workup, just to make sure that we aren't missing anything.

But he agrees with me that this sounds like anxiety.

Lordy, it's hard.

She's given up the barf bowl for now. (It did not make an appearance at the Thanksgiving table, thank God.) But there's lots of moaning and crying and well, let's just call it bellyaching.

My patience wears thin. And that makes me sad. It's a hard thing, knowing when to push and when to nestle.

two steps back

2011-11-21T00:04:00.005-05:00

I have so many posts I want to write. But here's what I'm doing instead.

Practicing psychology without a license.

My dear little Shout had a nervous breakdown on Friday. Because one of her classmates barfed in the classroom.

Apparently, right after the poor kid barfed, she INSTANTLY felt ill and had to be taken to the office. And it seems that the teacher and the principal were right on when they decided not to call me, but instead they let her chill for awhile with the principal and an iPad. (Can I say how much I love that part of the story?) Eventually they sent her back to class where she was made the teacher's helper for the rest of the day and all seemed fine.

But when we got home from school, she BURST into tears and started shaking. She said "I DON'T FEEL WELL."

Honest to God, she looked like hell.

She wouldn't tell me what happened at school. It took some digging and a few text messages to tease out the whole story.

She was terrified she was going to get the stomach flu again. And she was afraid to even tell me about it. (See those little footprints all over my heart? Ouch.)

She spent the ENTIRE weekend on the couch, with a miserable look on her face, moaning and sobbing about her stomach. Which is completely healthy.

I mean, I think she may have given herself an ulcer, but she doesn't have a stomach virus.

I'm exhausted. It harkens back to the days last summer when she wouldn't leave the family room and held a barf bucket under her chin all day. We're there. Again.

I don't how to help her. I cuddle and encourage and talk about worrying and make jokes and tickle and rub her tummy and none of it helps.

We've come so far since that post in July. We did months of OT which brought me a whole new girl. We started kindergarten (again) and made it through a few rough weeks. Things were looking peachy last week when she won an award for Improvement in Social Interactions! (Yeah, baby! Not everyone would be proud of that one!)

But I'm back to my little lump of fear and anxiety with one little errant barf. I'm going to give it a few days (which will include, you know, Thanksgiving, which should be fun with a kid holding a barf bucket under her chin at the table. Right?) but if things don't improve, I'm back to the drawing board.

I feel completely underqualified.

mommy's little criminals

2011-11-14T23:59:00.000-05:00

I got the crooked finger, "Oh Mrs. Laaaaaundry" from the kindergarten teacher at school pick up today.

It seems that Shout took a little trip to the principal's office during recess.

Apparently there was *KISSING* on the playground. Kindergarten girls and *OLDER* boys. (2nd grade) Shout wasn't doing any kissing, but she was found to be chanting "KISS HIM ON THE LIPS! KISS HIM ON THE LIPS!"

I put on my most serious Mom Face and said I would follow up on the "No Chanting about Kissing" Rule at home. And then I bit the insides of my cheeks hard so I wouldn't start laughing.

She came out with the story before we even got to the car.

"Well... I wasn't doing any kissing, but I WAS egging them on. And that's bad."

Yes. Bad. *bite cheeks, bite cheeks*

I asked her, "Were you scared in the principal's office?" (Because dude, I am STILL terrified of school principals.)

"Nope."

"Did you cry?"

"Why would I cry?"

"Are you going to cheer your friends on about kissing ever again?"

"Nah."

Case closed, I think.

Later in the afternoon, I called my mom to tell her the story and meanwhile, the ever diabolical Bounce was in another room teaching Shout to say very fast: SOFA KING FUNNY.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Again. Faster.

So just as I'm launching into my story about Shout's now marred Permanent Record, she bursts into the room and yells at the top of her lungs:

"What's SO FUCKING FUNNY?"

I've got my work cut out for me here, people.

rocky

2011-11-07T23:41:00.005-05:00

I'm on Day 8 of dealing with a stomach virus in the house.

Eight.

And I'm starting to fear it will never actually end.

Every one of us has had it. And while the worst of it only lasts for about 12 hours, the tenderness and not-quite-right-ness lasts for much longer. Which is why I've had at least one kid, and sometimes 2 or 3, home from school every day since last Monday.

I haven't slept a full night. I've hardly even been in my own bed. Scrunched up at one end of the couch, a feverish, nauseated kid on the other.

I went stir crazy yesterday and left the house in a fit of exasperation. I just ran errands, but I needed a taste of freedom. Where I wasn't serving saltines and wondering who was going to need me next.

When I came home, they heard my car in the driveway and quickly staged a massacre scene inside the house. It was the first time I laughed in days.

***************

This fall has brought other challenges I can't write about right now. I always HATE when bloggers write that. I SWORE I would never. But I can't find a way to not say it, and yet, I can't actually say it. They are stories that don't belong to me. And I don't feel comfortable sharing them right now, even the parts that affect me. They will come. But for now, they are big and heavy and scary.

I button it all up and shove it way deep down. It lets me go through my day, even though it weighs me down inside. And when I'm alone, and not trying to find my way through a new job, or a new recipe, or another load of puke-y laundry, it all comes bubbling up. Like burning lava.

In the car, after I've dropped off whoever needs dropping, and I'm alone, the stress leaks out my eyes. The other day, my timing was off and I burst into tears when the lady in the drive-thru at Starbucks opened the window to hand me my drink. I laughed and cried at the absurdity of it. She looked alarmed and I just drove away. There was no explaining it. I don't understand it myself.

choppers

2011-10-19T09:23:00.003-04:00

It wasn't the first one... she's already lost four on the bottom. But two days ago, Shout lost one of her top, front baby teeth. Last weekend, I had made a mental note to take a picture of her smile because I knew the top teeth were loose and soon to fall out. But I never got around to it. By Sunday, one of the teeth had slid down, already beginning its journey toward the Tooth Fairy's Palace. Her smile was different and I knew I'd missed my chance.

Those perfect, tiny, symmetrical white teeth...I remember when they first appeared. Don't ask me how old she was, because she's the fourth kid and I can't remember things like that. But I do remember rubbing my finger along the little pearls that first appeared along her gum.

She has a tiny mouth, and tiny teeth. There are years of orthodontia in her future. Her adult teeth will barely have any room to grow in. But her baby teeth were the perfect fit for that little mouth. Straight and snug.

As I slid the tooth out from under her pillow, and slid a dollar bill back in, I had to wipe away my tears. There have been lots of teeth lost in this house, but those top two for each kid have always made me melancholy. They are so much a part of who they are as little ones. How they looked with those teeth is seared in my mind. And when they fall out, and new, bigger teeth grow in, it all changes. They are suddenly big kids - their toddler smiles forever gone.

And so with my last baby, that top tooth falling out was a tender moment for me. Time is unrelentingly marching forward. Their faces change, their feet get big, legs grow long, and teeth fall out.

The smiles of my babies are gone. Replaced by the smiles of big kids.

it's not you... it's me

2011-10-12T15:29:00.005-04:00

I've lost my blogging mojo, you all! Every time I post, I think "Oh good! It's back!" And then I sit, mojo-less, for a week or two.

Like anything, blogging is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. Meaning, I just need to sit down and start.

Time management. (I need some.)

Back in the summer, and honestly, for years and years before that, I fantasized about my days with 4 kids in school.

I would write deep and profound things. Sip coffee. Teach myself calligraphy. Organize my house. And then, take another coffee break, maybe. I'd walk an hour a day, listening to This American Life podcasts.

I would wear thick, cozy sweaters and warm chenille socks.

For a few hours a day, my life would be calm. My mind would be quiet. My house would be clean.

Do I need to tell you that's not how it is? I think I've only had 2 days since school started when I didn't have anywhere to go?

And yes, those 2 days were lovely.

But I spend most days teetering on the edge of full-on panic. Rushing, rushing, rushing. Doctor and therapy appointments, meetings, volunteering, fixing the car and filling the fridge. Sorting paperwork and writing checks. School and lessons. Practices and games.

My heart and I are always racing.

When does that life I imagined start? Where is my sweater and chenille socks?

But this is it.

This is my life.

Racing from one thing to the next. Hoping my blood pressure isn't as high as it feels.

I don't think the pace of my life is going to change any time soon. (In fact, it's accelerating even as I type this.) I need to learn to be at peace in the chaos. And organize myself accordingly.

In high school, one of my favorite quotes was from the beginning of The Desiderata, "Go placidly amid the noise and haste..."

Little did I know then how much noise and haste I was in for!

Every now and then, I think about giving up this space. It's just one more thing I don't do as well as I would like.

But I decided that giving it up means letting the chaos win. This is one of the few things I do just for me. I don't have deadlines or responsibilities. It's a place I come just because I want to.

Since that life in the sweater and the chenille socks isn't heading my way any time soon, I need to learn to manage what little time I have. Even if my writing here is infrequent, I hope you will bear with me as I find my balance.

there once was a girl...

2011-09-27T23:00:00.000-04:00

Years ago, I used to sit behind her in church. I kinda wanted to be her.

She was tall and thin. She had long curly hair and big brown eyes. Two adorable blond boys and a handsome husband.

She was thoughtful and kind. She always had a smile on her face. During that time, we had common concerns and interests. We'd watch our busy toddlers in the vestibule of the church and whisper together.

Time passed and we both moved on.

And one day, not so long ago, one of my kids and one of her kids ended up in the same school together. In the same class.

I was happy to see her again. Several years had passed while we were both immersed in different schools and different churches.

I sat behind her again. In a different church. Her young boys now tall and lean.

And after a time, I watched as she grew thin and pale. And she began wearing hats to cover the patches of bare skin on her head, among those lovely brown curls.

And when we could, we whispered, of hope and healing and the future.

But it was not to be. We laid my beautiful friend to rest today. In that new church. With her boys and her husband grieving together in the front pew.

I believe in Heaven.

I believe there is a place where those whose days have been filled with pain and illness are healed.

Where there is peace for their anxious and tired souls.

And yet, I find it hard to believe that there could be any better place for a mother than right in her own home. Raising her boys. Packing their lunches.

Why can't Heaven be here? In a kitchen with no cancer.

May all of us who are blessed to be able to pack our children's lunches without pain or fatigue remember that that right there... is Heaven.

slice

2011-09-16T09:52:00.004-04:00

I stopped in the school office Monday to unabashedly brag about how On Top Of Things I am this year. I've revamped my organizing system (to basically this one) and so far, I'm keeping up with the flood of school-related paperwork.

Seriously? I should teach a class for new parents on how to organize dates and papers. I'm THAT GOOD.

So way back when Shout was a newborn, (just go with me here for a sec) we contemplated the expensive medical road ahead and came to the conclusion that I might need to get a job simply for better health insurance. I looked at the skill set I had left after being home for 5 years and realized the only thing I was good at was slinging hash. (And by "hash," I mean FOOD, not hashish. Although I would probably sling either one if it got me a decent PPO.)

I decided I would be a good cafeteria lady. I'm used to cooking mediocre food for a crowd, I'm a little surly, and I wear orthopedic shoes.

Fortunately, the most expensive aspects of Shout's care have yet to hit us (if you can believe that), so I never had to go out and get that cafeteria lady job, but I've been holding it close to my heart.

This year, with everyone in school finally, I volunteered to help out on Pizza Day. Finally, my Cafeteria Lady aspirations come to fruition! One thing I am REALLY good at is passing out pizza from a box. If they gave out PhD's for that, I would have one. Summa cum laude.

My middle schoolers would be SO EXCITED to see me standing behind the counter with their pizza in hand.

"HI SWEEEEEEEEEETIE!!!!!!"

I even bought a hair net because I think the kids would LOVE that. And a Kiss the Cook apron. And little pizza slice dangly earrings.

Ooooh, I could hardly wait for Pizza Day this past Tuesday. I reminded them about 40 times that morning.

"I'LL SEE YOU AT LUNCH TIME!!!!"

Alas, about 15 minutes after I dropped them off, the school called. Pizza Day doesn't actually start until next week. (Something the Hairnet/Pizza Lady/Teacher of New Parent Organizing Classes should know, right?)

Sadly, I had to pack 4 lunches and drive them up to school. No hairnet. No apron. No earrings.

I can't WAIT for next week.