So here it is you guys: if all continues going well Aidan & I are going to have a baby in November. We went for our scan yesterday and saw our baby’s perfect face, fat little cheeks, tiny nose, and sweet little mouth. It waved and swallowed and  kicked. Its legs stretched out so long, and Aidan said “look: it’s tall, like me.” We are so happy. So very, very happy.

It’s been a long hard road for us to get here, though we are all too aware that so many couples have traveled roads that are much longer, way harder, and that too many of them are never able to have the baby that they want. I feel certain that this is a plight that you can never fully understand until you are in the middle of it, and this last year and a half has certainly been a humbling one for me. Until this year there were things that I never fully understood, and things that I rather wish that I could un-understand as they are things and feelings that are ugly and dark and horrible. I now understand too well why jealousy is called the green-eyed monster, and I know how beastly and raging that monster can be. Though I tried with every ounce of my will to keep it in check, too often it defeated me.  It was so horrible that I spent lots of time thinking about how to avoid unleashing other people’s monsters should I ever finally find myself where I am now, and I’m not sure that I found any answers.

I promised myself that I would never post my ultrasound pictures on the internet (don’t ask me why I found that offensive when I was going through all of this because I don’t know – it wasn’t me, it was the monster). I promised myself that I would never ever complain about how my body was changing, and about what it looked like after the baby was born. Though probably that will be easier for me than for a lot of women because I have never been what you would call slender. I spent a year working my butt off to lose weight just so I could have a baby, and though I fully intend to do my best to be healthy, I refuse to insult my body after it has performed the incredible feat of making another human being. Take all the time you need, body, because I seriously appreciate you and what you’re doing. I promised myself that I would remember to talk about other things, not just what it’s like to be pregnant.

I’m not sure how successful I have been at keeping these promises. Obviously there are no scan pictures on the internet, nor will there be, and I have a general policy of never picking apart my appearance in public, so that won’t be hard to adhere to – though privately I do ask Aidan to examine my stomach on a daily bases and give me his opinion on whether things have changed, or if I was always this round. He assures me it’s the former option, because he is not a total moron. However I’m worried that I’m failing at the remembering to talk about other things. I have been singularly obsessed. I’m hoping that this is because until this week I was still in my first trimester which is a scary and overwhelmingly unpleasant time. I could write an epic poem about vomit and all of its nuanced varieties, but I’ll spare you. Basically the last three months have consisted of me either feeling horribly ill, or being wholeheartedly convinced that the baby had died. On more than one occasion I woke up in the middle of the night and started sobbing hysterically because I didn’t feel like I wanted to vomit my guts out. Aidan for his part was very generous about putting up with this, and trying to reason with me even when it was 3am and he had a headache.

Thank goodness for second trimesters. I am feeling very much like my old self again, which is perfect timing because starting this Friday I have a wedding almost every week until October. I am excited about it and very ready to get back to work again. Incidentally, my second shooter Catherine is also pregnant – just a few weeks ahead of me, so we will be bringing lots of fertile energy with us to all of our weddings, and also probably lots of snacks. Anyhow, I’m hoping that now that I no longer feel as though my entier body has been taken over by a severe GI disease, and I am daily gaining confidence that this baby might actually make it, that I will once again be able to engage in conversations on non-pregnancy related topics.

The blogging community being the amazing network that it is, has introduced me to lots of women who have struggled with, or are  currently struggling with miscarriages, recurrent miscarriages (which is what we’ve been going through), and infertility. These women made the last year and a half so much less lonely for me than it could have been, and some of them have rooted for me since the day that I found out that I was pregnant with this baby, even though many of them are still navigating their own difficult paths. Their generosity of spirit has been incredibly humbling too. I wish that like many of them I had found the courage to tell this story sooner, rather than waiting until I was confident of a happy ending, but seeing as this is a business blog I didn’t want to post anything too raw, so I have waited until I could write something that felt appropriate for general consumption. But for all of my friends who have had to struggle with their fertility, and especially for those of you who are still struggling, I want you to know that I think of you every day. Indeed, some of your stories have made me realize that I’m a total wimp. I will never forget what this has been like, and I am hoping with all of my heart that you will find your happy ending. Thank you for helping me though this, and if anyone ever needs a sympathetic ear to bend, I’m very good at being sympathetic and listening, so feel free to drop me a line, okay?

So this week brings the 3 year anniversary of Aidan & I being properly married, you know- in addition to just the legal stuff. Somewhat serendipitously I’m going to be all over A Practical Wedding today with a post about what it was like to move my business to Scotland, and then later our Scottish wedding pictures will be up, so you can see them all if you like. 

There should be some more good posts coming your way on this blog soon. I have some more news to share with you, hopefully some more very good and wonderful news, but we are still waiting to be sure. I promise to tell you either way, because the post that I want to write is something I’ve been building up to and thinking about for over a year. It’s THAT kind of a post. Also of course there are weddings, and moving to Edinburgh, and some exciting developments on the business front. So keep an eye out, because it’s all coming to this space very soon.

Oh my is it Thursday already? What is it about trans atlantic journeys that distorts time? In any case, here are a few highlights from Kate & Brian’s wedding last weekend. I did hear one person say that it was the best wedding that they had ever been to & I have it on good authority that she hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol, so that’s gotta be good right? In case you’re wondering I totally found that four leaf clover pictured below. North Carolina is full of four leaf clovers. I found four while I was there, but not all in a row like last time. Congratulations to Kate & Brian! 

Just because it’s your wedding week doesn’t mean you don’t have to fold laundry, and obviously instead of helping your best friend will just take pictures cause it looks kinda pretty. 

Walking Jack to school.

Final dress fitting.

Typical North Carolina scene.

At the Beauty Parade for practice hair.

Kate looked prettttttty.

Making some hard choices at the shoe outlet store.

Clearly it wouldn’t be a bachelorette party without some penis cakes. (For the record I had nothing to do with the penis cakes, nor did I help plan the bachelorette party. Bad maid of honor).

Kate really liked her bachelorette party. We went to the Chocolate Lounge, which is even awesomer than it sounds.

So today we are relocating to the wedding venue & there is no internet there. I KNOW. That means that this will be my last live blog update until after the wedding is over. There is still so much left to do, and I’m already feeling pretty exhausted, but I know it’s going to be really great & I’m really excited.

Have a lovely weekend everyone & I’ll see you on the other side!

]]> http://laurenmcglynnphotography.com/2012/04/kates-wedding-week-day-3/feed/ 3 http://laurenmcglynnphotography.com/2012/04/kates-wedding-week-day-2/ http://laurenmcglynnphotography.com/2012/04/kates-wedding-week-day-2/#comments Wed, 25 Apr 2012 12:21:31 +0000 lauren http://laurenmcglynnphotography.com/?p=3665

This is our bride ladies & gentleman. Doesn’t she look like an earth mama goddess? Yeah she does. 

For all of you following along from Scotland this is what a real biscuit looks like. It is from Bojangles, a North Carolina institution. I ate this biscuit so hard & it made me really happy.

The Blue Ridge Mountains as we approach, looking all blue and ridge-ie. A site that never fails to make my heart happy.

My mom, looking like a total mom-hottie.

Fried plantains & guacamole from Salsas, my favourite restaurant in the whole entire world.

Simon the giant puppy looking forlorn.

Kate & her back yard.

Jack!

Yesterday was great. I got to eat my favourite local foods, see the mountains, hang with my Mom, take pictures of Kate, cuddle with Jack, wrestle with Simon, & reunite with some old friends. Today is going to be crazy – there is hair & shoes and dress adjustments & more food, a bachelorette party, wedding crafts to finish, and probably more stuff that I’m forgetting right now. Sprits are high, if a little frazzled at times. It feels like a wedding for certain.

Gotta go walk Jack to school!

I spent most of yesterday on airplanes. International travel always feels otherworldly, and if there is such a thing as purgatory it’s got to be pretty much exactly like the Newark International Airport. I always feel so in between there, & it is not a very nice place. When I arrived yesterday I was very hungry and I was stuck in terminal A – clearly the terminal with the worst food and the grumpiest staff in the whole airport. I bought myself a coke & some penut m&m’s – my favourite snack before I became a health nut & before I met Aidan & he taught me that American candy and soda are disgusting when compared with their UK equivalents that actually have REAL SUGAR in them. Whatever, I’m not gonna lie: I delighted in my high-fructose corn syrup laden meal none the less. 

Arriving in Charlotte was nice. When people ask me where in North Carolina I’m from I always say: “I’ve lived all over: Asheville, Greensboro, Carrboro, but I grew up in Charlotte.” That is because anyone who knows anything about North Carolina knows that Charlotte is the worst part of it. Unless you count places like Gastonia, or Fayetteville (nicknamed Fayett-nam), but most civilized people don’t. Charlotte is full of banks, subdivisions, fundamentalist Christians, and Nascar fans. There are some nice bits & even some nice people, but still I’m not a fan. Though for some reason I was happy to be here yesterday, & it wasn’t just because my journey had finally come to an end. It was nice to be in a place that felt deeply familiar. Hanging out with my Mom & Step-father. Going out for legit Mexican food with guacamole that they make right infront of you, and with an American wait staff that understands the meaning of customer service. Driving past all the old mill houses, the strip malls, the long leaf pine trees. This is my home and I have been missing it. There should be better songs written about North Carolina.

So today Mom is going to drive me up to Asheville and drop me off at Kate’s house and my part in this wedding week will begin in earnest. I seriously can’t wait. Asheville is my favourite place on earth. I love the Blue Ridge mountains like I would a close family member, and it will be good to see my best friend again.

I might even try to take some proper pictures today, you know: for kicks.

Hello everybody, & welcome to Kate’s wedding week! I’m going to keep this short because it’s 6:26am & I’ve got a plane to catch, but I wanted to say hey, and tell you that I know I’ve been quiet lately, but I thought I’d make it up to all of my loyal readers (hi Danae!) by live blogging Kate’s wedding week. Sound like fun? I’m hoping you’ll think so.

So as I’m flying across the Atlantic I hope you’ll enjoy this picture of Kate & Brian on their farm from back in 2009 & if you haven’t already you can read up on all I’ve written about Kate’s wedding so far. I’ll be back tomorrow with more exciting updates. See you then!

]]> http://laurenmcglynnphotography.com/2012/04/kates-wedding-week-is-here/feed/ 4 http://laurenmcglynnphotography.com/2012/04/we-are-moving-to-edinburgh-for-good-hooray/ http://laurenmcglynnphotography.com/2012/04/we-are-moving-to-edinburgh-for-good-hooray/#comments Fri, 13 Apr 2012 11:03:44 +0000 lauren http://laurenmcglynnphotography.com/?p=3648

So I already put this out there on the twitterves & on facebook – I am not good at saving exciting news for my blog like smart people do – but Aidan landed a fancy Chancellors Fellowship at the University of Edinburgh, which means that we are moving to Edinburgh! For good. Which is wonderful and perfect for so many reasons.

Aberdeen will always have a special place in my heart, but it has never been a place where I felt like home. I am fond of it yes, comfortable in it: not really. It is not a place that I felt excited about spending many more years in. Edinburgh is a place that I would move to if I had a choice in the matter. Only I married an academic philosopher. As soon as we started to get serious Aidan told me that if we stayed together that there would never be a choice – that we would always have to go where he could get the best job, and as jobs in philosophy are rather hard to find, that might mean that we would wind up someplace not so great. I was preparing myself to live in the middle of nowhere Alabama or Indiana which (trust me) is much worse than anything that the UK has on offer. So when Aidan got a post doc at Aberdeen I was very much relieved.

The first time that we visited Edinburgh after moving to Scotland I asked “when are we moving here?” and we both laughed because we believed such an idealistic feat to be impossible, or at the very least a long way off. Incredably only 2 years later we are moving to Edinburgh. Which is perfect because it’s not just that Edinburgh is a wonderful city, which it really really is, I also already have some lovely friends there – more even than I do in Aberdeen. Equally as exciting is that most of my weddings are already in Edinburgh. Edinburgh is the best possible place to move for my business. There was a worry that after working so hard to establish myself in Scotland that we might have to move somewhere further afield and I would have to start ALL OVER, and instead we are moving to a place that is exponentially better for my career than where we currently live. Finally were are pleased to be moving closer to Aidan’s parents and the friends that we have in Glasgow.

So basically this is an all around giant WIN, which has been made possible by Aidan being awesome. I still don’t know how I managed to land such an amazing husband. The universe has been very good to me in that department. Thank you all so much for thinking of us, and you see: it worked!

Happy Friday everyone! I hope that I can share some good fortune with all of you. At the moment I’m feeling like I’ve got a enough to go around. x

I’ve been a little quiet lately. It’s mostly because I haven’t been feeling so well. I don’t often get ill, so I’d forgotten what it’s like to have all of my whim & vigor sucked out of me. Also I am in the middle of suspense week. I know that referring to major life variables by opaque letters such as x & z is rather lame, but that’s all I’ve got right now. We should know a whole lot more about x & z by this time next week. I should even be able to reveal at least one of their identities. 

Today Aidan is leaving on a quest of sorts, and when he returns nothing will ever be the same again, which is the very nature of a quest is it not? Can you tell that I’ve been reading some J.R.R. Tolkien durning my convalescence?

Anyhow, the suspense along with being ill has paralyzed me on the blogging front somewhat, and so I have been quietly devouring the Lord of The Rings trilogy instead. Fortunately suspense week will come to an end soon, and I’ve been feeling brighter, and I have a wedding this weekend which is most exciting of all. So I will have lots to share next week, and hopefully (hopefully) lots of good news. Thanks to everyone who has been thinking of us, & crossing your fingers & toes for us. It means a lot to me that you have sent good energy out into the universe for me, even though you haven’t necessarily known to what end. Thank you times a million.

Fridays are for napping right? Right? Hector & Jura think so. They are my dogs-in-law. They know what’s up.

Happy Friday Everyone!