Lauren�s Musings

How to Stay Young

2009-06-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

Try everything twice. On Madam's (of Whelan's and Madam) tombstone she wanted this epitaph: "Tried everything twice...loved it both times!" Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches). Keep learning. Learn more about computers, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And

Death & Taxes

2009-03-08T12:51:00.000-07:00

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The President was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot

Quote of the Day

2009-03-05T21:33:00.001-08:00

For fun... On mullets, it's always "Business in the front, PARTY in the REAR!" On a more serious note... An old saying by Confucious, "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand."

Modern Stock Market Terms

2009-02-28T22:07:00.000-08:00

Due to today's rapidly plunging stock market, and financial conditions in industry, the following terms have had to be revised for investors in order to more clearly reflect today's economic marketplace... CEO -- Chief embezzlement officer. CFO -- Corporate fraud officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6-18

Homework

2009-02-28T21:43:00.000-08:00

Letter from the Mom after looking at the picture Dear (Teacher), I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it.

Learning Curve for "EVE Online"

2009-02-25T08:46:00.000-08:00

Curtesy of Crystal... here are the learning curves for some popular MMORPGs.

All New: 31 Flavors

2009-02-05T03:17:00.001-08:00

Some political humor curtesy of Jenn! Ben & Jerry have created "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for Obama. For George W. they they asked for suggestions from the public. Here are some of their favorite responses: Grape Depression The Housing Crunch Abu Grape Cluster Fudge Nut'n Accomplished Good Riddance You Lousy Motherf*cker... Swirl Iraqi Road Chock 'n Awe WireTapioca Impeach Cobbler

Gender of a Computer

2008-05-08T23:19:00.000-07:00

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine: 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, "What gender is 'computer?'" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for

What Love Means to Age 4 to 6 Year Old Chidlren

2008-02-23T12:11:00.000-08:00

What Does "Love" Mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think: "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got

Will Your Marriage Last?

2007-12-17T22:08:00.000-08:00

Jezebel posted a chart that was originally published in the October 1927 issue of Popular Science Monthly. Based on the analysis of over two thousand American marriages, the chart, devised by Hornell Hart, Associate Professor of Social Economy, Bryn Mawr College, is supposed to tell you the odds of a marriage being successful with the ages of the bride and groom being the predictors. "Those

Something That Made Me Smile Today

2007-11-30T22:00:00.000-08:00

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

Condom Hair Accessories

2007-11-27T23:00:00.000-08:00

I can't remember how I stumbled upon this site, but I'm quite addicted to the site Jezebel.com. Their latest article about condoms being recycled into hair elastics. Aside from being completely disgusting, using these products can be a health hazard. Quoted from the original article from InventorSpot: "Even though the condoms are fully recycled, it has been shown there is still a marked amount

Literacy... Kind Of!

2007-11-26T23:00:00.000-08:00

I can read this, but apparently not everybody can! fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng

Women As Explained by Engineers

2007-11-23T20:30:00.000-08:00

jerkwater: M-W's Word of the Day

2007-11-23T20:00:00.000-08:00

I'm excited about this word because prior to learning about it, the only alternative I could think of is quite rude and should not be used in polite company. I found this from M-W.com's Word of the Day. jerkwater \JERK-waw-ter\ adjective Remote and unimportant Trivial Example sentence: "We're stranded in some jerkwater town in the middle of nowhere," said Larry when he called to tell us that

Reduce Junk Mail Through Opt-Out

2007-11-22T23:00:00.000-08:00

I hate junk mail. It's a waste of paper. The worst type is unsolicited credit card offers because you need to shred them (if you just throw them away somebody may pick them out of your trash and apply for a credit card using your information). In an effort to reduce the number of offers I receive, I recently used OptOutPreScreen.com to opt-out from lists used by creditors or insurers to make

The Porn Myth

2007-11-21T23:00:00.000-08:00

This is an old article, but it's a great one titled "The Porn Myth". The tag line summarizes it well, "In the end, porn doesn�t whet men�s appetites�it turns them off the real thing." Here are some other poignant quotes: "Greater supply of the stimulant equals diminished capacity." "For the first time in human history, the images� power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today

More Finance Humor

2007-11-20T23:00:00.000-08:00

Investment Dealers are excited to announce the newest structured finance product - Constant Obligation Leveraged Originated Structured Oscillating Money Bridged Asset Guarantees, or COLOSTOMY BAGS. Designed to accommodate the most sophisticated investment strategies, Colostomy Bags contain the equity tranches of Structured High Interest Taxable Derivatives, or SH IT, and are leveraged an infinite

Words Women Use

2007-11-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to stop talking. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes.

Hedge Fund Gallows Humor

2007-10-31T17:04:00.001-07:00

I received this back in August when the stock markets were imploding. Here we are in November and... guess what? Experiencing a meltdown again! Last time around, the pundits blamed quant funds. This time around, investors are more focused on rising oil prices (again), writedowns at financial firms, slowing spending by U.S. enterprise companies and about half a dozen other things I'm forgetting.

Caffeine Database

2007-07-05T22:30:00.000-07:00

I've often wondered how much caffeine there is in regular coffee vs. espresso vs. green tea. Now I know thanks to the Caffeine Database. In case you're wondering, 8oz of brewed coffee has 107.5mg of caffeine, 8oz of drip coffee has 145mg, 1.5 oz of espresso has 77mg and 8oz of green tea has 25mg. There's also the Really Big Caffeine Database which is even more comprehensive.

Quote of the Day

2007-07-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

"The Internet: where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents."

Moving from Yahoo!Mail to Gmail

2007-06-30T21:59:00.000-07:00

In the beginning, I used usa.net for personal email (I did have a Hotmail account but at least I was smart enough not to use it). From there, I migrated to Oddpost.com (back when it was an independent company) which I liked so much that I paid $25/year for the service. The things I valued the most from Oddpost was the (1) lack of advertising and (2) nifty drag and drop features. But since it was

Indexed

2007-06-29T20:50:00.000-07:00

indexed.blogspot.com is a fantastic site that my friend Jenn recommended. It consists of simple, self explanatory and funny venn diagrams and graphs depicting humorous social theories. I'm not doing justice with the description so just go visit it!. P.S. I'd love to buy a T-shirt but the graphic on the shirt appears a little small plus I have way too many T-shirts as it is (from various running

Fraiche Yogurt

2007-06-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

While I was traveling in Korea, I made a point of trying out Red Mango which is a frozen yogurt chain. I hear there's a similar chain in the U.S. called Pinkberry and the two franchises are duking it out in the States. I really enjoyed Red Mango because it's not as sweet as regular American fro yo. Imagine my delight when I discovered a new yogurt store in downtown Palo Alto called Fraiche Yogurt