Law Firm Marketing by Mark Merenda | Smart Blog

Seeing the world backwards

Mark Merenda — 2010-02-02T12:58:35-05:00

I remember an old joke, something to this effect: A psychologist is a guy who goes to a strip club and watches the audience.

Well, a marketing expert is a guy who watches TV (or listens to the radio, or surfs the Internet) for the commercials. I'm not sure that I've reached that state yet, but I have to admit to paying lots more attention to commercials than most of my friends.

This morning as I drove to work, I was cracked up by a radio commercial for something called GetLoaded.com, promising to match truckers and shippers "on 11 different levels of compatibility" — a fun parody of eharmony. com (although not the only one!).

And, as Andrew Newman recently noted in an article in The New York Times, humor has its place in advertising for attorneys as well. I guess I'll just keep watching the commercials.

The Trip To Hell Costs Ten Cents

Mark Merenda — 2010-01-19T14:06:38-05:00

The collapsed buildings and the corpses rotting in the street are different, but the rest of it seems awfully familiar: the crushing poverty, the cries for help, the inadequate government, the violent armed gangs, the foreign troops. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

In my first professional life I was a journalist, and Haiti was part of my beat. It was always a little strange. Haiti was prone to having a coup d'etat every year or two, each government being overthrown in its turn. In fact, ask a Haitian how old he is and he is as likely to give you the name of the president when he was born, as he is to give you the year.

One time there was rumor of another coup. I started calling all the government offices and found a minister of education working late. "No, no, everything is fine, there is no coup," he told me. Next thing, we both heard gunfire. He turned out the lights in his office, dropped to the floor, peeked out his window and told me there were tanks rolling into the courtyard. For the next hour or so, he proceeded to narrate the revolution to me until finally soldiers burst in. His last words to me were "Call my wife." He survived though, and a couple of months later we were reunited at the Miami International Airport.

In 1988, I was sent to Haiti to cover the overthrow of President Leslie Manigat by Gen. Henri Namphy. While there, I had a chance to go places and see things that most people never will. I had an advantage over some of the other reporters in that I could speak French, and thus get by in Creole. I met a Belgian missionary who offered to go with me into the Cité Soleil, a sprawling slum of 250,000 on the outskirts of Port-au-Prince. My article was published on June 25, 1988. Some excerpts might give you some idea of just what sort of place this was before the earthquake:

By MARK MERENDA
Miami News Reporter

PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI —

    The trip to hell costs 10 cents.
    Near the Haitian capitol's Iron Market you can catch a "taptap" — one of the colorful, open-backed pickup trucks that serve as jitneys. There are three taptap routes in Port-au-Prince: Delmas, Aeroport, and Soleil, which leads to the teeming slum on the city's northern outskirts that's home to a quarter-million wretched souls.
    From the market it costs a dime for the 20-minute ride to Cité Soleil — Sun City — a trip punctuated by the bleating of car horns in impossibly snarled traffic, the heat and dust, and the frequent stops to pick up and discharge passengers from the eight-seat vehicle.
    You know you have arrived at the Cité Soleil when you pass a man in the street hauling an immense wooden rickshaw behind him. He is called a donkey boy and he carries up to 25 100-pound sacks of sugar and charcoal up a hill to market. He might make $5 for each trip. If his bouret is too heavy, he will have to share the money with a helper or two who push while he pulls.
    Once a person begins work as a donkey boy, his life expectancy is seven years.
    Cité Soleil is a labyrinth of poverty. There are no streets, no electricity, no toilets, no hope.
    The slum is divided into four parts: Boston, Brooklyn, La Saline, and Cité Carton. Boston and Brooklyn get their names from cities from which luckier Haitians send money home to relatives and friends. La Saline is named for the salt water swamp on which tin shacks have been built. Cité Carton gets its name from the principal construction material for its shanties — cardboard boxes.
    Jacques is 28 and lives in the Boston section. Tall and gaunt, he is missing a front tooth and is clad in worn-out shirt and slacks. Like everybody in steamy Cité Soleil, he sweats profusely.
    "I was born in a poor family," Jacques says. "My father died. My mother is living. I have two brothers and one sister, and a daughter."
    Jacques hustles for two or three dollars a day, running small errands. But that's an income in Cité Soleil, and every person with an income supports 10 others in this slum. On this day, Jacques bought a bit of rice, a small amount of beans, a thimble-full of oil and a tiny sack of charcoal. With that he cooked his only meal of the day.
    He is one of the lucky ones.
    "I am not doing anything," says his friend Fritz. "I am unemployed."
    Fritz eats when his buddy, Pierre, gets him something. Pierre makes about $60 a month as a cook for a group of Belgian missionaries. He has three children to support with $15 a week, so he cannot often give his friend a meal.
    Occionor also has no job. Sometimes his parents give him 10 or 20 cents. This day, he has eaten three mangos he bought for 10 cents...
    Jacques leads the way to the house of a woman named Marie in the Cité Carton. Her home, which she rents for $6 a month, is the size of a bathroom in Miami. She says she is 34, but she looks 80. She has six children. To support them, she cleans an outdoor food stall.
    There is one small bed in the house, and the smallest children use it. The others sleep on the floor. All of them are naked. The metal floor has no covering.
    Marie says she has not fed her children this day and doesn't have any prospects. They will probably cry all night because they are hungry.
    "Maybe tomorrow," she says.
    "Here in Cité Soleil we are suffering," Jacques says. "Sometimes we spend three or four days without eating. We taste something sometimes, but it's not really eating. We die very easily."

I Am Curious Yellow

Mark Merenda — 2009-12-30T15:25:06-05:00

First, if you understand the headline of this blog post, I know how old you are. Or what a pervert you are. Or both.

But I digress, and I haven't even started yet. I have written in the past about the Yellow Pages as an incredibly expensive and inefficient advertising vehicle for attorneys, and an outmoded communication vehicle, not to mention an environmental faux pas.

And yet, within the past week or so, we have taken delivery in my office of three Yellow Books, two Verizon phone directories, six from Embarq, and one slightly smaller one from Ogden Publications (EZtoUseBlueBook.com) complete with a magnet stuck to the cover and a little logo with a green leaf and the text "Eco-Friendly Size."

If you're still with me, that's 12 directories for one office. My building has a dozen or so offices in it. Many of them are closed for the holidays, and so I can see, outside each door in the hallway, a stack of telephone directories.

I talked to one of my clients about it. He has ads in the yellow pages of two different phone directories, and hates it. Says he doesn't get anything like his money's worth from the ads, and that he's much rather use that money on other marketing methods. So why doesn't he? "I'm not sure," he says. "I guess I'm afraid not to be in there, when all the other lawyers are. One day soon the phone directories will die and I, for one, will be happy not to have to pay them any longer."

Weight Loss, Marketing, And The Magic Pill

Mark Merenda — 2009-12-14T11:00:03-05:00

There is, apparently, no big secret to losing weight successfully. (And believe me, I'm no expert. I struggle with it, the same as most of America.) It seems that if you consume fewer calories than you burn, you will lose weight —guaranteed. With the exception of people who have illnesses, this is a universally effective strategy. It's usually translated into plain English as "eat less (or smarter) and move more."

The best way to execute this strategy and achieve the results you want is also well-known. What you have to do is to implement certain behaviors consistently over time. Make these changes and then do them for three months, or six months, or a year — and you will achieve your goal. After you have done so, you implement a modified version of these same behaviors and you will stay where you want to be.

But most of us don't want to hear this truth. Instead, we want a magic pill. The one that will lose us 30 pounds in 30 days without diet or exercise — without making any changes, and without having to perform them consistently. We are suckers for the latest diet book, the latest fad, the latest weight-loss guru, the latest TV show, the latest exercise DVD, the latest supplement. Some of the advice in these books and programs is incontrovertible. Some of us follow this advice and get results. Some of us even achieve our goals. Few of us, apparently, stay there.

Welcome to the world of marketing.

I long-ago noticed that most successful marketers were those who are most consistent. They seemed to accept that marketing was a normal and ordinary part of their business model, just like book-keeping, or customer service — not something to be done occasionally or sporadically. I tell my clients, "If your marketing is a little here and a little there, expect your results to be a little here and a little there."

As with the diet industry, the field of marketing is full of gurus, experts, and inspirational figures. I have nothing negative to say about most of these folks. It could be argued that I am one. The problem is that good advice, even good education, is only part of the battle. The real key is implementation. Few of us (and very few attorneys) are true do-it-yourself-ers. (I always imagine handing blueprints for a house to someone, pointing them at Home Depot, and saying "Go for it.")

Unfortunately, not all of the gurus and experts are created equal. Some give advice or coaching. Some give a self-interested strategy. (For example, if I own a newsletter company, then the answer to every marketing problem is "You need a newsletter.") And some are selling the magic pill ("Buy our software and double your income in a month!" or "Join our SEO program and be on page one of Google next week!"). Not to mention all the people promising to reveal "secrets" while giving away "free gift number one" and trying to get you to sign up for their platinum inner-sanctum illuminati program.

If Einstein supposedly (I can find no real attribution) said "Time is money" then in marketing, the truism is "time or money." You can accept the good advice offered by the many knowledgeable marketing experts out there and spend the time and effort that are required to implement that advice — or you can hire someone to help you implement.

Either way, just like with losing weight, it's going to require your commitment and consistent implementation. If you find that discouraging, you shouldn't. Remember, if you do the right things, you can't miss. If that's not exciting enough, I have a magic pill to sell you.

'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Mark Merenda — 2009-12-07T15:33:52-05:00

I'm not sure where this originated or by whom it was written. I came by it via Jennifer McCoy on the Solosez listserve:

The Night Before Christmas....Lawyer Version

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stockings, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a St. Nicholas a/k/a Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter.

The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein visions of confectionary treats including, but not limited to, candies nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams. Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mama"), and said Mama had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstances. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance. At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled

and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be, and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus. Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional

co-conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney. Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack

containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations. Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stockings of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minors pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.) Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts". Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination. However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night." Or words to that effect.

Blogging From 38,000 Feet

Mark Merenda — 2009-11-06T21:51:30-05:00

I am writing — and posting — this blog entry from 38,000 feet, thanks to an American Airlines flight from Dallas to Orlando that features GoGo wireless connectivity. I have also been merrily Tweeting (is there a mile-high Tweet club?), emailing, and amusing myself with some of my favorite YouTube videos — like this one:

Enjoy.

Well, That's One Marketing Technique, I Suppose

Mark Merenda — 2009-10-02T15:49:23-04:00

Hat tip to Rebecca Wiess and Patricia Joyce for this one:

Law Firm Taglines, 2009 Edition

Mark Merenda — 2009-09-24T09:29:59-04:00

I have written before about law firm taglines, those short, descriptive phrases that seek to communicate either what the firm does, or how it does it. Now comes Steve Matthews of Stem, a Canadian company that offers various web marketing services, with an updated list of 101 law firm taglines.

My favorite: Lawyers you’ll swear by. Not at.

According To My Email

Mark Merenda — 2009-09-08T11:10:02-04:00

According to my email, there is a position open for me as a secret shopper. According to my email, I can get an advanced college degree without actually going to college. According to my email, someone sent me an e-card and I should open it right away.

According to my email, I can get discount ink cartridges, free flower delivery, and a loan modification. Also there is an investment opportunity in oil wells in Alberta, a chance to exchange links with lots of similarly minded website owners, and the door is open to a purchase of email lists of doctors, IT department managers, and librarians of all kinds.

According to my email, my sex life needs a lot of help. I could use "male enhancement" to "upgrade my masculinity", a supply of Viagra at 85 percent off, and romantic involvement with a number of very attractive Russian girls.

According to my email, I could lose a lot of weight by ingesting Acai berry in various forms, and would look snazzy in a brand new replica watch.

According to my email, website builders in China and India will build sites for me for next to nothing, my bank (as a security measure) is changing lots of stuff and needs me to furnish my passwords, I can buy a 1941 Chevy Flatbed replica, and someone who addresses me as "dear one" needs some help obtaining an inheritance.

According to my email.

Do It Yourself?

Mark Merenda — 2009-09-03T12:37:48-04:00

Untitled Page On one of the listservs where I hang out, there has been an interesting discussion about the increasing commoditization of legal services, with more and more people opting to "do it yourself" with the help of document websites like legalzoom.com.

Coincidentally, yesterday I had to visit my mechanic because the air conditioning in my car wasn't really cooling, and I needed an extra shot of freon.

Wait, there is a connection between these two paragraphs, I swear!

In chatting with my mechanic, I asked him if the recession had helped or hurt his business. My thought was that with fewer people buying new cars, that would mean more repair and maintenance on older cars and thus more work for him. He said, yes it had, kinda....but....

"Lots of people don't even want to pay the repair shop. They want to try to fix their cars themselves," he said. "And then it's a real mess."

How do you handle that, I inquired. He pointed at the sign in his repair bay:

Labor: $95 per hour
If you watch: $125

If you offer advice: $150

If you already worked on it: $175

Maybe attorneys could learn something from him.