Photo Credit: kennymatic on Flickr.

When I was a kid, I had a Halloween ritual. I would come home from Trick-Or-Treating with a pillowcase full of candy. Then I sat on my bedroom floor and sorted it into 3 piles: Loves, Likes, and Everything-Else.

The Loves were things like Butterfingers, Snickers, and Almond Joy… these were the things that I wanted to devour all at once and savor for as long as possible.

The Likes were things like Laffy Taffy, Sweet Tarts, and Blow Pops… these were the foundation pieces… that is to say, the Likes were dinner and the Loves were dessert.

And then there was Everything Else. This was the biggest pile, more than half of the candy wound up here. There were the waxy, fake-chocolate pieces wrapped in a foil Frankenstein, Jolly Ranchers, and Smarties (the American sugar-wafer things, not the M&M-type candies of the same name popular in Canada and UK). There were random waxy licorice pieces, Pixie sticks, and random hard candies like your grandmother had in candy dish for guests. When my sister asked if she could have a piece of candy, this is the pile I reached for first.

Photo: That’s me around age 4, dressed as Raggedy Ann (remember those plastic costumes?)

Now as I am decluttering my office I can’t help thinking that my 6-year-old self was onto something.

Imagine sorting all of your stuff (clothes, books, kitchen gadgets) into Loves, Likes, and Everything Else.

My Everything Else pile would be pretty big…

• I have some books that I was supposed to read in high school but didn’t that I have been carrying around with me ever since because I think “I should read that someday”.
• I have shoes that I bought because I needed a pair of “business” heels. I have worn them once. Maybe. Turns out I’m not so business-y. And yet I can’t part with them because I still might need them.
• There is an army of bottles and tubes under the bathroom sink that I don’t use and yet can’t part with because I feel guilty throwing out a full bottle.

… well, you get the idea. We all have things we keep around for lame reasons.

Photo Credit: ctk on Flickr.

I want to be surrounded by things that I Love. And to make room for that, I need to weed through Everything Else.

Imagine instead of the various unloved bottles of lotion under the sink, just 1 bottle of something you love. That makes me feel lighter just thinking about it.

What’s in your Everything Else pile?

Photo Credit: the_dugghouse

About six years ago, I was a mid-level software engineer on a large team at Yahoo. I had been with this team for a little over a year when our vice president of Engineering was replaced.

The new VP of Engineering came in with a lot of rules and ideas. Some made sense and some just made me snicker. But one new “rule” in particular really tickled my irreverent sense of humor.

The VP thought that the issues the team had been having was due to a lack of commitment. He met with all of the managers and taught them what commitment meant. I began to see managers walking around making a C shape with their hand and asking everyone: Are you committed?

Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Accordingly a genius is often merely a talented person who has done all of his or her homework. ~ Thomas Edison

I understood that commitment was important for success. But the “Do what you say you’re going to do” flavor of commitment that was being rallied at that time seemed silly. I didn’t understand what the big deal was. I mean, weren’t we all already committed to doing our jobs?, I wondered as these managers, directors, and executives ran around throwing up C’s at each other.

After I left my corporate job two years ago, I drifted along for a while. I’d wake up every day and though I had goals (build my business, get clients, write a book, and get in shape), I just did whatever came up: laundry, reality TV, and lots of chocolate. And then I’d get frustrated because I wasn’t getting any closer to my goals. I couldn’t make the excuse that I didn’t have time to work on my goals — I had nothing but time since I quit working full time. But a year later, I was really no closer to any of my goals.

Then as I coached others to succeed, I began to learn what I was missing: commitment — the “do what’s important first” flavor of commitment. Maybe this is what that VP was trying to communicate and I was just distracted by the hand gestures?

Photo Credit: hectoralejandro

What I have learned:
Without real commitment, your goals can get buried under the demands and distractions of everyday life. You may take on “important” tasks because those are the ones screaming the loudest at the moment. You are “too busy to do anything else”, and then you wake up later to find your goals are no closer.

Let’s face it, we all have things that “need to get done”. We are all “too busy”. But I’d wager that we all also have goals. So how can you do it all? Well, that brings me to the secret sauce.

The key is to identify your top goals and commit some amount of time to them. Every day.

Inspiration does exist, but it must find you working. ~ Pablo Picasso

What about everything else?
Look, the laundry isn’t going to go anywhere. You can write your status report after dinner. You can eat takeout for one night… or you can ask for help (which is another ingredient in the secret sauce).

It’s really easy for me to get overwhelmed and busy with “stuff”. I have a ToDo list a mile long. But I also have long and short term goals:

1. Grow my business
2. Build an online presence
3. Get in shape
4. Make some money while making a difference
5. Write a book or three

… just to name a few.

So now I’m doing things differently. Instead of being ruled by my ToDo list, I rule it. Instead of being a slave to my calendar, I am its master.

I do this by blocking out time to actually work on my business. I schedule my workouts. And I create a weekly plan of attack so that I know that I am spending a little time moving toward my top goals every day.

Some days it’s only half an hour, but it’s amazing what can be done in 30 minutes… especially when you compare it to 0 minutes.

Photo Credit: eschipul

The point is you have to make your goals your priorities. You have to do the work. Your goals don’t have legs… they aren’t going to move closer to you. You have to take steps toward them. If you don’t commit to your goals, you aren’t going to get there.

How committed are you to achieving your goals?

As I look around my home office, I see things that I love like my guitar, a picture of “Shakespeare’s London”, and photos of my grandmother. But when I look closer, I see piles of paper, stacks of books, and a bunch of other random crap. And I don’t even want to think about the closet.

But I can still sit at my desk. I get things done. And I can find what I need most of the time.

So really, it’s not that bad… is it?

Maybe it isn’t that bad. But let’s face it, when something “isn’t that bad”, it isn’t that good either. Right?

Taking a closer look at my behavior and feelings toward my office reveals a desire to avoid it. What was once my haven of serenity and creativity, now feels heavy with ToDos. Thoughts do not flow as easily as they once did. And until today, I’ve been spending as little time as possible at my desk. And since I work from home, that seems… well, wrong.

“Clutter is anything that gets between you and the life you’d like to be living.” ~ Peter Walsh

I want great not good in my life. I want to thrive not just survive. So how is it I’m looking at “not that bad”?

It happens easily enough. We get busy or lazy or distracted. Any of those things (and many more) can lead to clutter build up. But the how it happens isn’t as am important as what you do about it.

So I will declutter my office to make room for the life I want to live. And you can hold me accountable on that. I plan to do it little by little over the next couple of weeks, and I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

Will clearing clutter from my office really change anything? Yes. I believe it will if I commit to keeping it up. It will make room for creativity and flow. There will be room on my desk for new ideas instead of just a list of ToDos. And I will breathe easier knowing I’m taking steps toward my best life.

Forget about “not that bad”. What is getting in the way of living the life you’d like to be living?

Photo Credit: herrolm

Three years ago, I was a senior software engineer at Yahoo with a six-figure salary and premium benefits. I was a technical leader and respected by my peers. It was everything I had dreamed of when I was in college.

And yet, after 8+ years of a career that I was good at and that came easily to me, I felt like I was in the wrong place… like I was driving in circles. So I slowed down and turned my blinkers on. I gave 2-months notice to my manager. I had a heart-to-heart with his manager (my director). And then I went home and celebrated. I could see the exit sign; I was almost there.

A week later, the director of my group called me into a meeting with our senior vice president. Uh oh. What had I done wrong?

Turns out nothing. What I had done was trigger the golden handcuffs. I listened as she offered me the world: make me a manager, a stock bonus that equaled my annual salary that I would get if I stayed another 18 months, and the many possibilities the future held. It was an offer I couldn’t refuse. Or was it?

I pondered that question for a couple of weeks weighing my freedom and the wild open spaces against the potential glory and money. I was intrigued. I had never managed my own team. There was still a voice saying “just leave”, but instead I listened to the one that said: Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stay…

My foot moved from the brake to the gas pedal, and I missed my exit. I stayed another 14 months, just shy of the “golden handcuff” stock bonus that by that time had lost 2/3 of its original value. During those months, I worked nonstop. There was a multimillion dollar contract riding on my team’s on-time delivery of one project and as a newbie manager, I was under the gun. Nevermind that the project requirements were late and incomplete when we got them, and nevermind that we had at least 5 other “high priority” projects that needed to get done at the same time. I mean, that’s normal, right?

I drove in circles so fast and out of control for a year until I finally crashed into a road block clearly marked: BURNOUT. The wheels fell off. There I was, literally crashed out: lying in a pile on my living room floor face down. The exhaustion consumed me until all I could do was sob.

Photo Credit: nicholas_t

When the tears finally stopped, the voice that told me to leave a year before said it again: “it’s time to leave.” But I can’t. The team needs me. How will I pay my bills? I can’t quit during a recession. My cats will be homeless if I leave my job.

My exhausted body gave me no choice, I started to slow down. It was then that I began to see the exit signs more clearly. The more I considered my options, the more possible they became. I was depleted, burnt out, and desperate. I had no clue where I was really going. All I knew was it was finally time for me to exit the roundabout.

With 55 percent of Americans unhappy at work, I know that I was not alone. If you are one of the unhappy workers, I hope you heed the warning signs before you crash into burnout like I did. I’m not saying you need to quit your job. Only you can make that choice. But if there is a voice inside of you saying you need to leave or that you need a break, listen. Maybe it’s time for a change.

It was two years ago this month that I walked out of my cubicle for good. The road since then has had bumps and twists. I’ve taken detours and nearly ran out of gas. But I know I made the right choice for me. Because while I may not make the money or have the title any more, at the end of the day, I am smiling.

What keeps you driving in circles?