Laywell's Lamp

It Just Kind of Happened

2012-02-17T08:03:00.000-06:00

Valentine's Day, a day when lovers are suppose to think of each other. Married or just living together, chocolates and flowers can be an easy way out of an I didn't know what to do situation. I can't speak to the marriage commitment but the living together arrangement has served me well several times on Valentine's Day. Before you cast me among the anti marriage lot let me make it perfectly clear, marriage is fine for some while living together is fine for others. If you don't want kids or there are no kids living at home, moving in and out as often as you want is a simple lifestyle. No commitment has worked for me over the years but I was always thinking of the other side of the bed and having engagement ring nightmares come Valentine's Day. One can use the excuse "you don't need a piece of paper to prove your love" for so long before she starts to wave her finger in front of your face.
Pick up your socks and why are there panties hanging in the bathroom are both signs that marriage might not be a good ideal. But couples rarely split up over socks or panties at least that is if the panties in question belong to the person standing in the middle of the conversation! Believe me, I had my sock defense ready a long time ago, I wear nondescript white socks day after day. Most breakups are caused by affairs, alcohol, addiction,abuse or finances. So what's wrong with simply living together? I've heard all the professionals say married couple are happier, I don't believe them. Every relationship I've had has been a happy one at least for a little while.
When I look back on the relationships in my life they all just kind of happened. I liked her she liked me and before you knew it we were shoving our stuff into the same closet and discussing furniture. I never once thought about breakup or God forbid divorce and for sure, picking up my socks never entered the mind.
Commitment is a decision. No one can definitively know if a relationship will last or whether marriage is in the cards. I have learned to never say never but if I were ever to marry it would probably just happen. At my age I know better than to leave my socks laying around and as far as panties hanging in the bathroom, well that's probably the most excitement I could hope for.on any Valentine's Day. It's best to let thing happen and keep an open mind. Love and Kisses everyone!

The Power of Pink

2012-02-10T08:13:00.000-06:00

The decision by the Komen Foundation to end funding for Planned Parenthood was reprehensible. It's easy to see right wing anti abortion extremist had their hands all over this shameful decision. Which ever way you side on this controversial issue, politics should never play a roll in the hotly debated issue of abortion.
At first the Foundation's trademark color pink seemed nowhere in sight. Red State right wing politics placed women's health in jeopardy when they pushed to deny funding to Planned Parenthood. As soon as that denial was issued, the color of pink began to roar and the roar was loud and clear! After only three days the Komen Foundation reversed it's decision to eliminate funding to Planned Parenthood. Even with such a fast reversal I don't know it the Susan G Komen Foundation can ever recover it pristine reputation. The Foundation suffered a grievous and perhaps mortal fate that may cause all those pink ribbons to be hung somewhere other than their usual spot.
All Americans share in the fight against cancer. The decision by the Komen Foundation to reverse their decision and restore funding to Planned Parenthood was a huge win for the women who will now be able to get breast cancer screenings. The voices of pink were loud and clear "Politics has no place in denying the health of any woman".

Baby Boomer

2012-02-03T05:41:00.000-06:00

Things started changing when people began addressing me as Sir. Was I really than much older than the people around me? Next I was being ask if I wanted the senior discount. Had middle age passed me by so fast that I had not even seen it?
I can still run up a flight of stairs without having a heart attack but the days of doing a Rocky Dance at the top of those stairs are fewer and fewer. I'll be 60 soon but I don't seem to be slowing down. Instead I seem to have a reinvigorated lifestyle, on the move more now than ever before. Maybe I'm just trying to make up for lost time but what ever the reason for the late vigor, I still have trouble wrapping my mind around the term Senior.
Admittedly, ageing is not as easy at 60 as it is at 20 although realistically we are ageing from the minute after we are born. In your 20s, 55 looks old, in your 50's a social security check is still only a dream. Well I am well passed 55 and I'm starting to dream. I may not be able to dance rocky style but my hearing is just fine so you better not use the term Senior Citizen when describing me or I might hit you in the head with my cane. OK, I'll admit maybe I am a dinosaur in some ways but this dinosaur never says no to a new experience.
In a few years the entire Baby Boomer generation will be in their 60s. The generation that lived through flower power and military power, through assassination and segregation, through cheap gas and full employment, has seen it all. Boomer, Sir, Madam, Senior Citizen, Old Man, Old Lady, call us boomers what you want to. Just let us have our senior discount without any questions and let us delay those golden years as long as possible.

Prime Time

2012-01-27T08:40:00.000-06:00

Looking back at some of the things that helped shape my life, television had to be one of them. I would like to be able to say I learned much of what I know from educational programs flowing through the air and into the one television set in my childhood home but that's not the case. When I was growing up there were no Public Broadcast Stations. Remembering those times I guess I was lucky to get the one channel our television received considering we lived about 70 miles from the television station. As far as redeeming value, cartoons were about the only things I remember. Later more channels arrived but even then only 3 channels were available for a very long time. When VHF broadcast came along it added more channels but it seemed to be filled with reruns of shows missed. Those days in comparison with today's television broadcast choices of cable and satellite will make any one's head spin in disbelief.
Growing up I was never glued to the TV. I spent most of the time ridding bikes, walking to the neighborhood store and playing sports. I don't ever remember scheduling my day around Leave It To Beaver or Popeye although both of those programs probably had a hand in forming my character. Today I am a confessed news and information junkie who requires a healthy dose of that format. A couch potato I've never been that is if you don't count the times I've been too loaded to get off the couch. During those days of drug infused relaxation, the truth of the matter is I was probably was not even able to read the numbers on the remote, so I'm pretty sure you'll never be able to call me a remote control couch potato!
Television is a wonderful thing, almost unbelievable. Even today I am still amazed at how it works. A simple push of a button can change what's in front of your eyes. Hundreds of choices but the redeeming value is about the same today as it was 50 years ago, about as long as your thumb. Don't get me wrong I will never throw the baby out with the bath water but if you take away news, information and educational programming the rest is all just bath water. Prime Time is like all bath water it's deluded, not good for much of anything and ready to be poured down the drain.
I can hear all you Prime Time junkies now "what the hell is he talking about, he must need new batteries for his remote". No my batteries are just fine but if you don't stop watching Dancing With The Stars and American Idol I'm coming to your house and kicking you off the couch along with pulling the batteries out of your remote. If you don't like what I write you can change the channel.

Setting at the Keyboard

2012-01-20T07:50:00.000-06:00

Everyone knows you no longer have to own a typewriter to be considered a publisher. Today all one needs is a computer to publish almost anything one wants. So is every publisher a journalist? The answer to that question is somewhat debatable.
Journalist are usually recognized by a set of professional standards Although those standards vary and in my case those standards are as wide as the Mississippi River yet they are standards in any journalist's eyes just the same. With no academic training in this field I tend to share my stories in compelling ways rather than pursuing the truth and nothing but the truth so am I a journalist? The blogs I write compete with everyday media. They will never be among the internet superhighway's most popular but that really does not matter. I write because of all the creativity it requires and because I am granted the right of free speech under the First Amendment.
Judge me if you must but judge me with a loose set of standards or you could find yourself the subject of one of my rants or raves.

Sailing One Day at a Time

2012-01-13T07:50:00.000-06:00

Science is advancing at a rapid pace but immortality is no closer than it's ever been. As humans we are not genetically engineered to last forever. Being no spring chicken at least I have not had to replace any worn out parts and that's a blessing. My mind seems to be the only stumbling block to longevity I'll likely face in the long tern
Reducing anxiety, stress and depression all help in opening life to possibilities one never thought possible. When I had a full time job I never realized how trapped I was in the busy-ness of life. It was always all to easy to sleepwalk through the day, never focusing on what was really happening. Running on auto pilot was a common occurrence in my life and I'll bet it's the same for a lot of people. Most of the time being preoccupied with the future or past can be a full time job in itself. All to often it's all about quantity and not quality Is it really that important that we have more apples and oranges that the next guy? The sooner you realize you can only eat one at a time the better off you and everyone else will be.
True happiness is all about looking at the same thing with different eyes. Maybe it's because I am getting older but I sure see things a lot different than I used to. Every day it gets easier and easier to forget about yesterday and not look to tomorrow. Yes I am aging and there is only so much physically I can do about that but mentality one day at a time seems to be the fountain of youth. Who knows, I might see things different when I wake up tomorrow but for today its blue skies and a totally open ocean.

Vote For Me And You Can Have All the Chocolate You Want

2012-01-06T08:20:00.000-06:00

In this political climate who in their right mind would ever want to be President of the United States? Being President has got to be the worst job in America. It seems no one likes the current President and if they do they are always trying to co worse some kind of favor out of him.
America is unreasonably demanding. We want everything and we want it now. Compromise has been a dirty word for a long time so how is a President suppose to deal with all the domestic and international problems that come his way? No more war, low taxes, deficit reduction, health care, government services, financial stability all fill the plate of any President. From the minute he is sworn into office we are praying for a miracle worker to deliver us from all our problems. Sometimes I think the President of the United States of America would have much better luck if he was President of the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory instead of trying to govern the 311 million people who reside in America. Any President of Willy Wonka would surly be loved by everyone because everyone loves chocolate no matter what form it comes in and that in-turn would make compromise a forgotten word. All the President would have to say is "try it you'll like it" and we would all be asking for more.
The left always wants the President to be more liberal, the right always wants him to be more conservative and the people in the middle, well they just want more of everything. What the heck is a President suppose to do other than repeating over and over "Vote For Me". He can't please everybody and these day it seems he can't please anyone.
As the Presidential election draws closer, the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory looks better and better every day. Trying to become President of America is something I would never even consider but running for the office of President of Willy Wonka, well let's just say I would work for free. I could stand on the right for awhile then stand on the left for awhile. Hell I might stand in the middle for awhile! My stance on anything or anybody wouldn't make any difference because everybody loves chocolate. So vote for me and I will promise you all the chocolate you can eat.

Black-eyed Luck

2011-12-30T08:30:00.000-06:00

At the end of every year, people around the world indulge in special foods to ensure good luck in the days and months ahead. In America and especially in the southern United States New Years is all about the black-eyed pea. The black-eyed peas sure did not start out as the southern delicacy it is today rather it was originally used to feed slaves and cattle and had nothing what so ever to do with starting off the new year. But soon the pea made it's way from the slave cabin to the master's table and that's when the pea's luck began to change. Soon after the end of the Civil War all kind of dishes using the black-eyed pea were invented. One of the most prominent and currently the most popular is Hoppin John, a specialty made with black-eyed peas and rice and usually seasoned with some kind of pork. No one really knows who cooked the first pot of Hoppin John nor does anyone really know when the black-eyed pea became a symbol for good luck. But without the black-eyed pea it would not be New Years or at least a lucky New Years.

Christmas Traditions

2011-12-23T07:10:00.000-06:00

There are some who might say Christmas has lost a lot of it's luster. None of us are little girls or boys anymore so we must admit time marches on and so do all of the traditions that come with Christmas past. All the chaos that used to occur every Christmas morning is long gone for the most of us. The cries of excitement and joy coming from the base of the Christmas tree are a distant memory. yet we still decorate an evergreen every year hoping to rekindle those memories.

Christmas has become a hybrid holiday depending who is celebrating it. The day means different things to different people so it's not surprising that my interpretation of the holiday is different from another person's interpretation. An evergreen decorated with lights and tinsel or bowls filled with stripped candy canes are not symbols of Christmas in every home. What's really important is that Christmas traditions and symbols are expressed from family to family no matter their religion or where they live. All those traditions and symbols seem to span all around the earth but it's whats in out hearts during this time of year that really counts. It's those memories of Christmas past that live inside us all which keep all of Christmases traditions and symbols alive.and holds the holiday together year after year.

Happiness usually fills our hearts during this special time of the year but a touch of sadness is never far away. Knowing we can never go back to the cries of joy and excitement we had as a child sometimes brings an emptiness found deep inside each and every one of us. Many things change over time yet somethings stay the same. As the holiday traditions began to unfold each year, Christians all over the world celebrate God's gift to the world. That gift is the real reason for celebrating Christmas. Decorate an evergreen and fill bowls with stripped candy canes if you must but never ever forget the real reason your on this earth.

A Circus If I Ever Saw One

2011-12-16T08:07:00.000-06:00

Did you watch the Republican presidential candidates debate? If you are a Republican this was suppose to be decisions time but it looked as though there are still questions to be answered. So far the only clarity I can see is that the GOP candidates all hate President Obama.
Chaos seemed to reign during all of the debates thus far but sometimes chaos can be a good thing. I thought the process was suppose to be about picking the next Republican presidential candidate and not about applauding for which circus animal breaks their leg while prancing through the ring.
By now I guess you can tell I'm a Democrat. You are right and to clarify your guess, I'll always be a Democrat no matter what! Why such a finalized statement? Because if the poor and oppressed were circus animals the Republicans would shoot them all if they could, claiming it was best to put the poor souls out of their misery.
Yes I love a circus as much as anyone but I won't buy a ticket to this one. War, less benefits for the elderly and poor, more taxes for the middle class and less taxes for the rich will fill the ring of any Republican circus. So unless you have money to burn you better think twice before buying a ticket to this circus.

Doomed to Fail

2011-12-09T07:11:00.000-06:00

The Congressional Super Committee was suppose to come up with a financial plan to get America out of the mess it's in. But in reality the only plan that was really ever up for debate was entitled "Doomed to Fail". The current state of affairs in Washington is so bad that only an idiot with their head in the sand thought the bipartisan committee had the best interest of America and it's citizens first and foremost.
Republicans and Democrats live in different worlds yet both have in common the inherited right to blame each other. Kicking the can down the road seems to be a favorite game for both parties. When are they going to understand that having one's cake and eating it too never works for very long. One can't consume something whilst in the mist of trying to manage it.
Eventually America will have to match spending and revenues. It's the process and equation used to arrive at that balance which is in question. One of these days, one side or the other will get a mandate from the majority of America. Which side that will be is still up for debate but then and only them will America's budget problems be resolved. "Doomed to Fail", no I have a little more faith in America than that. Will we pay higher taxes and receive less social services? Yes probably so but neither America nor the process that created it will fail.

Left In the Darkness

2011-12-02T04:57:00.000-06:00

The University of Texas plays their last football game of the season on Saturday. The Texas-Baylor game will be televised on national television where anyone who wants can watch the game live. This year's Longhorn team is not one of the University's best but neither is one of their worst. More than anything else, this year's team has become and will forever be known as the team representing the inaugural year of the Longhorn Network. From the onset, one of the main motives of the Longhorn television network was to increase national clout for the University of Texas. But soon after the network televised it's first Longhorn sporting event, hatred for the network began rising from the fan base. Owned and operated by ESPN, the sports broadcasting company demanded very high fees from the national cable companies for the rights to televise Longhorn programing. Time Warner said no to ESPN which meant 95% of Austin was left in darkness when it came time for kickoff.
$300 million buys a lot of access but it also buys a lot non access. ESPN has exclusive rights to most games, player interviews and coaches interviews, leaving the local television stations in Austin with only very limited access. What is the general public to do when their favorite sports team is controlled by a greedy broadcasting company and an even greedier University? Are the fans who bleed orange suppose to switch cable companies so they are not stuck with stale Longhorn news provided by the limited access of the local television networks?
With the majority of Longhorn fans left in the dark, the resentment against the University is getting stronger each day. It's obvious ESPN will pay the University a lot of money but what exactly is the price of good will? I see no benefit to this arrangement and neither did Texas A&M University. They told Texas to stick it where the sun doesn't shine and then A&M moved to a difference football conference where they would not even have to play the Longhorns. Maybe the fans of the University of Texas will get mad enough and stop going to games and I'll be able to set in the end zone for $5 like I did in the late 80s but that extremely doubtful. At least I will not be the only one singing the Eyes of Texas in the dark.

Bittersweet

2011-11-26T09:04:00.001-06:00

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. One reason I like it so much is because it is a day of unity and not division. Whether you are Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, or Muslim if you live in America you celebrate the holiday in some fashion.
For myself, this year's Thanksgiving holiday was bittersweet. It was hard not to notice who was not there. My father died three days before the holiday and was buried less than ten hours before the official start of Thanksgiving. The days of coming home to a full table with mom standing in the kitchen are long gone and now dad won't be setting in his favorite chair waiting for a call to prayer. As the years roll on there seems to be more empty seats but that's normal in life and death. There's not much if anything we can do about that fact except count our blessings instead of bemoaning our losses.
Neither of my parents were perfect and Lord knows I'm not but I loved them as much as any son could. Yes, more than once both tried my patience and I use "fake it till you make it" more times than I want to admit. But over all and always in the end my love for my parents was as strong as any son's could be.
This thanksgiving was awkward and filled with sadness but remembering the love my parents always showed me made the holiday a lot easier. Bittersweet, yes the past week sure was but life's blessings are everywhere I turn. Happy Thanksgiving. May God bless us all.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-18T07:20:00.000-06:00

The weather has started to change, getting colder some days. If you have not already experienced a freeze in November you likely soon will. The first freeze in the Austin Hill Country usually arrives around November 15th. It looks as though this winter will bring a warm weather rebound cycle that will last the entire winter. We will have short periods of freezing temperatures followed by temperatures in the high 70's and low 80's. over and over all winter long. Oh yes, we live in Texas!
Also this time of year we give thanks to the Lord for all his goodness. Most of us usually set down to dinner or lunch with family and friends on Thanksgiving day. We begin the meal with prayer, remembering all the things we have to be grateful for. None of us should have to think very hard to come up with such a list.
Will the temperature be freezing on Thanksgiving day, I don't know. Will I have reasons for being grateful, you bet I will. That list seems to grow longer each year. I look forward to Thanksgiving for all kinds of reasons but the time for reflections that the day brings is my most favorite and I hope yours also.

Free Checking

2011-11-11T07:39:00.000-06:00

Lets be clear what we are talking about when we are talking about a free checking account. Has such a thing really ever existed? Up until a couple of months ago I am pretty sure every checking account I had ever had was free from any monthly or yearly charges. To be fair, I always had to pay for the printing of the checks but they were always free to use. At least that's what I always thought but boy was I wrong.
Banks all over America are adding fees and restrictions now that new legislation has gone into effect regulating what banks can charge merchants on transactions. One causality of the new regulations is free checking. My bank basically told me that if I bring them enough money and keep their $1500 in the account, then and only then could I have a free checking account. Never once being penalized with an overdraft or ever using any ATM, I should be considered a great customer but that's not how the bank saw it. It's not like the bank doesn't know of my fantastic credit score, they do and try to shove a new credit card down my throat every time I walk up to one of their teller windows. Once they even told me I qualify for a 15 thousand dollar credit line, all in cash advance if I wanted it. This is the same bank that want me to give them 15 hundred dollars for a free checking account yet they are willing to give me 15 thousand dollars cash when ever I ask for it. Makes no sense at all! I am not stupid enough to pay their insanely high interest nor am I gullible enough to give them 15 hundred dollars for a free checking account. If it was not for the fact that someday I'll need an bank account to cash a social security check I would tell the bank to put their accounts where the sun doesn't shine. I guess you could say I developed a resentment over this issue. So my solution to the resentment was "when you can't beat them join them", only try and make it as painless as possible. Instead of giving them 15 hundred dollars, I canceled my checking account and gave them 300 dollars to open a savings account. I'll still be able to cash checks I just will not be able to write any checks. I have not written a check in twenty five years so getting all steamed up about no free checking is really pretty stupid. I guess doing banking business with a Credit Union is a better option and I may do that sooner than later. But for now I'll fight the resentment in a way that's most convenient for myself.
In the end I'll win just like I always do. Sure the bank will make a little money each month off my $300 but I will more than get the best of them every time I drink a cup of their free coffee each time I enter their lobby. The bank will probably catch on sooner or later and start charging for their coffee. I guess nothing is free forever!

That Time Of Year

2011-11-04T06:38:00.000-05:00

People will gain a hour of sleep "falling back" and resetting their clocks on Sunday. The loss of that hour means less daylight and more darkness each day. Some might say I am stuck in my ways but I wished the government would do away with Daylight Savings Time all together so I could avoid any change that comes with the disappearance of time.

During winter, the loss of light and more gray days can lead to depression in some people. What is it about shorter periods of light that affects the physiology of our systems? We seem to have less energy, crave certain kinds of foods and sometimes withdraw from society. Whether I want to admit it or not I am affected in all these ways. To counteract the symptoms brought on by less sunlight, I develop plans to stay mentally and physically active during the early and middle parts of the day. Starting my day a little earlier than usual helps me to stay focused and gives me a push towards the motivation needed to find the creative talents required to write Laywell's Lamp.
No, it's not quite the time of year we all rush out to buy Christmas presents nor is it quite time to order the turkey for Thanksgiving but you sure couldn't tell it by the way stores are already displaying holiday stuff. Seriously, Halloween is only a few days old and the stores are pushing us as fast as they can towards Easter. I don't even want to get started on the commercialization of America, that's another topic for the Lamp.
Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise, I don't believe it! I get up and go to bed when ever I want, never paying much attention to the hands on the clock. But if you are one of those people who hates a little extra shut eye, forget it this weekend is not for you. This all seems like a big hassle but it's a hassle that myself and almost every other American will do twice a year. Tweaking our clocks before we trundle off to bed is easy enough but savoring the so called extra hour of sleep, well I just don't know about that. I'll probably be thinking about the return of Daylight Savings Time in the Spring and get too worked up to enjoy the so called extra hour of time that this time of year is suppose to bring. Maybe this year I try a new tactic in my crusade against Daylight Savings Time. I'll not wear a watch and hide all the clocks in the house. How do you feel now Mr. Daylight Savings Time? No I better not do that because the Type A personalty I am I would probably explode if I didn't know what time it was right down to the very second. OK, I'll do my best to act like I like it and try to pretend the government knows what best for me but if I get depressed or explode I am going to sue.

Pepperoni Please

2011-10-28T07:10:00.000-05:00

Social, political, economical, logical or any way you want to measure Herman Cain's 9-9-9 tax plan, all measurements point to one of the stupidest government funding plans I've ever heard of. The plan is bold but it's boldness is also it's greatest weakness. Adding a 9% national sales tax on top of a state sales tax is not only crazy but everyone will think once, twice and three times before buying anything. 50% of today's tax filers pay only a payroll tax but with a national sales tax their tax burden will double over night.
Cain's 9-9-9 tax plan would be the greatest shift of money from the poor and middle class to the wealthy the world has ever seen. What he is really saying is that he wants to do away with Social Security and Medicare because he would eliminate all payroll taxes and those taxes pay for both of those programs. It is no surprise the Republicans have vaulted Herman Cain to the top of their field. Robin Hood has always been an enemy of the Republican Party and Cain's 9-9-9 plan is Robin Hood in reverse.
Mr Cain made his fortune in the pizza business, Godfather's Pizza to be exact. To be honest I've never eaten a slice of Mr. Cain's pizza but I hear it's pretty awful tasting. Even worse I checked out the pizza company's web site and there are no prices posted. Mr Cain must think 70% of the people in America are stupid. Swallowing a 9-9-9 tax plan is choking but to consider buying a pizza when you don't even know the price borders on insanity. This Smoke and Mirrors tactic tells you what America will get if Mr. Cain is elected president. He will promise us all a $9.99 pizza when he damn well knows he can't deliver one for that price just so he can get our votes. The only way I'll ever swallow anything Herman Cain has to offer is if he visits Austin and offers me a free slice of pizza. Mr Cain I'll take mine with extra pepperoni please.

These Winds Have Blown Before

2011-10-21T08:10:00.000-05:00

During 2003 the Bush administration used flawed intelligence to justify the invasion of Iraq. Is it possible the same winds are blowing again? It's hard for me to believe a bankrupt used car salesman from Corpus Christi Texas who was living in Round Rock Texas at the time of his arrest could be the master mind of a plan to kill the Saudi ambassador to Washington DC. The United States government said the Iranian government was behind the plan. This plot was so bizarre it's hard to believe it didn't come straight out of Hollywood. Is the US government really trying to convince us that a man who could not even sell used cars was going to get a Mexican Drug Lord to kill a Saudi ambassador? Oh by the way, the Mexican drug Lord just happened to be an informer working for the United States Drug Enforcement Administration. It looks as though the Keystone Cops of Hollywood are back in action.

I can feel the winds blowing harder and harder. Of course the Iranian government has denied all accusation relating to this matter but the hawks of the United States Congress are clamoring for action and sooner or later a hawk always eats what it wants to.

The Walls Of Despair

2011-10-14T07:41:00.000-05:00

Last month I became another year older. Usually I don't give birthdays a lot of thought but the closer I get to becoming a senior citizen, the age calendar becomes more and more important. Aging brings a lot of challenges. No matter how positive a person is or how good they think they are, despair is always a possibility sooner or later. If life is going good, despair is almost invisible but if life is going bad, despair can rush at you with Warp speed.
How are we to defeat despair when it rears it's ugly head? The first half of my adult life I fought that battle in secret. Always feeling life was forced upon me and always feeling as if potential was just around the corner. The battle seemed to drag on for years. Clearly not in the present but frequently in the past, regret seemed to always play a big part in my life. Looking back it was all that regret that kept me from achieving happiness and for a long time I felt betrayed by potential. I was confused by potential, thinking it equaled physical achievements and monetary gains. Years went by before finding out I could have good friends without earning a fantastic living. Eventually I came to believe that happiness was not based upon physical achievements and monetary matters or that a successful relationship did not define who I was.
Despair, yes I still battle it every once in awhile but not nearly as much and often as I used to. Coming to terms with my alcohol abuse and the treatment that followed instilled a giant sense of gratitude, a weapon I use more than anything else when it comes to battling despair. Poor Poor Me vs Gratitude will always be an epic battle, even for the strongest of the strong. It's all to easy to wave the white flag and surrender to despair but take it from someone who's tried just about everything before finding happiness. Live life for yourself and no one else even as all those self-centered characterizations come your way Self-centered I am but at least I'm true to myself and happy.
All of us who have fought the battle work hard at convincing ourselves that no one understands. We never really hear what people are telling us even if deep in out hearts we know there right. Despair is painful and sometimes even deadly so it's extremely important to use every weapon at our disposal. No matter how painful some of those changes in life may be, choices have to be made. The excuses of "no one understands" may help you survive the battle but you will never win the war. Only gratitude and being true to thine self can destroy the Walls of Despair.

Camping On Wall Street

2011-10-07T09:30:00.000-05:00

No true democracy is attainable when the process is determined by economic power. Democracy is not about the poor against the rich. It's about making sure big money doesn't control politicians who decide which programs get funded. It's about making sure that an elite few don't dam up the stream that brings happiness and well-being to the masses. Concentrated wealth and power is never a good thing and has brought down many a powerful nation.. There is only one thing concentrated wealth and power stands for and that's "taxation without representation".
Protesters by the thousands are camping out in Manhattan's financial district. Solidarity in numbers is growing by the day all across America. This movement for democracy is not just a bunch of long haired hippies, rather it's made up of diverse ages and occupations who are tired of corporate greed, social inequality and climate change.
The Arab Spring has turned into the American Autumn. Not since the 1960's Vietnam War protest have I seen such passion in such a diverse population. This could really be the start of something big. America is about to experience the same wave of grass roots protest that rocked the Arab world. Instead of fizzling out like the Kings of Wall Street thought it would, the disgust for the pro greed crowd is spreading. Now Unions and other progressive groups are beginning to endorse the movement. Those endorsements penetrate deep into the angst of the eroded American middle class, It is a class that is fast disappearing at the hands of the privileged elite who have rigged the system so that the stream of the nation's wealth flows in only one direction.
Protesting with success takes time. It is not celebrated in one day, one week, one month or even one year. It took ten years for the protest of the 1960's to end the Vietnam War and it may take even longer to end the greed on Wall Street. I am not quite ready to pack my sleeping bag and head to New York for a camping trip but I am thinking about it more and more every day. Big Money is almost impossible to defeat but anything is possible. Sleeping bags and tents are cheap so if I could ever get over my disgust for corporate greed I would visit Walmart for a new tent and sleeping bag. But then I would be accused of selling out to the greed of Corporate America. The next thing I know I would be enslaved in the building of that giant dam that impedes the stream of happiness and well-being for the masses. You cant't live with them and you can't live without them is as true today as it ever was so maybe I'll buy a new tent and sleeping bag anyway. If I decide to make the trip to New York. I can always rip off the Walmart labels before getting to Wall Street.
Decided not to make the trip to Wall Street or Walmart after all and instead joined hundreds of Austinites protesting at the Austin City Hall. We all joined in solidarity with those who are occupying Wall Street

Anonymous

2011-09-30T07:58:00.000-05:00

I've been sober a long time and this month marks another sobriety birthday.for me. There was never a time when I was ashamed of being an alcoholic nor have I ever found the requirement of being anonymous in Alcoholics Anonymous to my liking. Anonymity only helped to perpetuate the shame I always heard about. But a lot of people don't feel the same way. Lots of alcoholics are ashamed and would never go to AA if they knew their sober friends and family knew of their admitting to a problem with alcohol. I do understand the need for protection and would never blame AA for the perpetuation of shame associated Alcoholism. . My behavior when drinking was at times shameful and so were my actions but now I live a sober life. I've been done with being ashamed for a long time. "Hi my name is Brent and I'm an alcoholic"!

Autumn or Fall

2011-09-23T07:53:00.000-05:00

Today September 23 marks the start of Fall. It's really not even a day rather a specific moment in time when the sun crosses the equator. Today marks the halfway point of the sun's yearly journey. It's the only day of the year when the sun rises in the true east and sets in the true west. So for all you who could not read a map if your life depended on it and think a compass is made to tell time, go out side and look at the sun as it rises or sets. Maybe just maybe you will never get lost again but that's highly doubtful.
Autumn or Fall which every you prefer, most of the time the season has no urgent news value. The obsession with sports usually fills news cycles on the first day of Fall. There never seems to be much urgency this time of year, it's simply about time passing and the upcoming holidays. We all seem to notice the passing a little more during this season. Colors are brighter, winds are cooler, water is crisper, and sounds are amplified as Fall races to winter. It's my favorite time of the year.

Paul Newman Knows How To Solve A Parking Problem

2011-09-16T07:40:00.000-05:00

This year the City of Austin installed new parking meters all over the downtown area and recently decided to change the downtown parking rules. As of September 6, 2011 there will be no more free parking on Saturdays and Thursday through Saturday paid parking hours have been extended until 12 AM. Before the changes all day and night on Saturdays were free and it was always free to park after 5:30 PM during the week days. This move by the city council has been deeply unpopular among
Austin motorist. 87% of Austin's citizens were against the change but the council went ahead and did it anyway.
More and more the world seems to be unable to function without automobiles. We are either buying or selling them, complaining about the congestion they cause or causing havoc as we drive down the road talking and texting away. Parking those pieces of steel never enters our mind unless we can't find a parking spot or until someone takes away a free parking privilege. In Austin as in many cities, free parking has been taken for granted for a long long time. Whether it's at a large Box Store or in our driveway we demand free parking every where we point our cars. I guess if the Austin City Council had their way they would put meters in every Walmart parking lot and even in all the residential driveways.
Although only a few may originate a policy, we are all able to judge it. That judging has already started when the Austin citizens voted a council member out of office who had supported the changes. The council member was beaten by a unknown new comer from the suburbs who constituents are the one's who spend Saturdays in downtown Austin.
The new parking rules have only been in effect for about a week and know one will be issued parking tickets for another month but I am just waiting for you know what to hit the fan. I'm not worried, it won't take long before those suburbanites who flood downtown Austin for 5K runs, Longhorn football games and other community events will all have tickets on their windshields. Over night hundreds of Paul Newmans will likely appear. Rise up Austin and vote another councilman out of office in the next city election. Just like the warden in Cool Hand Luke told Newman "What we have here is a failure to communicate" the citizens of Austin should demand better communication from their wardens on the City Council
No! I am not going to saw off the heads of any of the city's parking meters but I'm mad enough to. I'll just think of Cool Hand Luke walking down the street, calmly drinking beer from a longneck as he goes about decapitating all the parking meters in town.

Remembering 9/11

2011-09-09T08:30:00.000-05:00

Sunday marks the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. Life as we knew it has forever changed since that day. As the Twin Towers fell, Americans were stripped of the freedom they had so long taken for granted. Can you remember how you felt on that day ten years ago? Most of us have not been asked to sacrifice much if anything while we go on with our daily lives. We don't think much about an enemy who wants to destroy us and our way of life. Ten years seems so long ago!
Osama bin Laden is dead but ten years after the World Trade Center was destroyed we still live in the 9/11 era. America's foreign policy is defined by the choices our leaders made while Ground Zero smoldered. We fight our enemies with boots on the ground, covert warfare, indefinite detention and drone attacks but are we better off than we were ten years ago? I think we are. The capabilities of our enemies to harm us has been greatly diminished and for the past ten years we have not been blindsided like we were on September 11, 2001.
America says it is not trying to transform the Muslim world yet we have spent trillions of dollars and thousand of lost lives trying to do just that. About all we have to show for our efforts is a steady erosion of America's posture in the world. But one thing is certain, we will never be the same. America is the strongest and best country on earth. She will survive even if there is another attack like the one on September 11, 2001 because America is one nation under God.
The 9/11 monument is dedicated to all Texans who died during the September 11 terrorist attacks and during Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan and was commissioned by Governor Rick Perry in 2002 on the first anniversary of the attacks. It was completed and unveiled on the attack’s two-year anniversary in 2003. Numerous designs were submitted from artists, architects and private citizens from around the state. The final design by O’Connell, Robertson and Associates of Austin was chosen by the Governor’s Office and the Texas State Cemetery Committee. Included in the design are two steel columns from Ground Zero that the public are encouraged to touch and examine. The columns were not altered in any way and were recovered in the state in which they stand.

Unlocked In the Moments

2011-09-02T06:10:00.000-05:00

I came into this world the way every person on the planet does, with a clean slate. Being human we all have a few reasons to gripe during life. Bad days and broken dreams seem to pile up over a lifetime turning a clean slate into a list of spreading bitterness where goals not reached can become excuses for not finding the joys of life.

Every year when my birthday rolls around I seem to want to take stock of the joys of my life. The other 364 days of the year it's easy to take that joy for granted because sometimes the world is an ugly place. But the world is also sometimes a beautiful place and that's the joy we all need to find.

Most mornings I wake up not thinking of my blessings and graces but on my birthday the whole day seems to slow down. It's the moments of life where joy is found not the years. So Thursday I was another moment older not another year older. Life in nothing more than a riddle that can be unlocked in moments. It's the small things in life where joy is usually found and if I am still around 364 days from now I'll be another moment older, filled with more joy from the unlocked moments of life.