Simply overloaded.

1. Breathe. It’s as simple as that. Deep breathing tells the brain to calm down and relax, which relays the message to the rest of your body. Inhale through your nose, hold for 5 counts, and exhale through your mouth. Do this for 30 seconds. It’s that easy.
2. Imagine one of your most relaxing memories. Visualize the scene using all 5 senses. By stimulating all of your senses, you redirect your focus. When you are ready, you’ll be able to focus more clearly.
3. Free Hugs! Hugging releases oxytocin, which makes you calmer and less anxious. It also helps with developing trust and lasting relationships. Just grab someone and give ‘em a big hug!
4. Move! When your mind gets cluttered, you need to move around. Exercise reduces the levels of adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormones) your body maintains. Take a brisk walk during lunch, climb the stairs to the practice rooms, or run around the building a few times.
5. Work on something else. Have you ever hit the point where you are just staring at a sheet of music for 5 minutes and nothing is happening? Yeah, that’s when you need to take a break. Pull out a book or work on something for another class. Change your focus to something else and give your brain a break. Just make sure to switch to something you see as productive, otherwise you might feel stressed about wasting time.
6. Pull out your to-do list and finish something on it. It will make you feel like you have less to do and give you a sense of accomplishment.

What is your favorite quick stress reliever?

Your special guest! Emily!

My little high school marching band students are in the midst of recruiting new members for the 2012 season.  Our program is relatively small and under-recognized by the school, so I really want them to get into the habit of spreading good information about themselves.  In order to help them realize how effective they can be, I recently shared the following tips with them, all of which were gleaned from my experience in the EMU Marching Band and Tau Beta Sigma.  As the recruiting season for concert and marching band draws near (and therefore recruitment for Tau Beta Sigma, Kappa Kappa Psi, Sigma Alpha Iota, Mu Phi Epsilon and Phi Mu Alpha), I urge you to search for a way to apply some (or all) of these to your own programs.

• Start with an attention-grabber – a performance at a well-attended event; a game that everyone loves and can participate in after a rehearsal; food – and use the rest of the tips to retain interest in your organization.
• Offer free food. Everybody loves free food, especially college kids.  Once you hook them with the food, genuinely try to get to know the people who attend your event and maybe slip in some information about the group.  Have the information readily available (in a brochure for them to take home, for example) but don’t force it on anyone.  When they see that your group is full of awesome, friendly people (that also happen to do awesome things), they will want to come back to you.
• Make a personal connection. Approach a specific person and tell him or her why you think they would like your organization, and why you think they would be a great part of it. I joined my sorority because someone specifically told me that I would bring a lot of leadership skills and be a good addition to the group. Turns out they were really right and I gained more from that group than I ever could have imagined.
• Follow up! Check in with that specific person and ask him or her if they’ve thought more about it. Offer to answer questions, send links to videos of your band’s performances, invite them to other band or open sorority/fraternity events. Don’t be a stalker – but help them see what a great community you are a part of.
• Give details about what being in band means. Don’t focus on the bad or not-so-fun things but you also shouldn’t sugar-coat those aspects. For marching band, if they ask if you practice during the summer, say yes. But tell them about how much fun band camp is. If they ask whether your group memorizes music, say yes. But tell them about the cool things you get to do because you are awesome enough to memorize music (trips, cool visual additions, etc.).
• Explain what your group means to you and why you love it. My life has literally been changed by being involved in band. I would not be friends with most of the people I know, I wouldn’t have adjusted to high school or college and I wouldn’t have the privilege to teach a high school colorguard.  Foresight can be difficult to grasp at but your anecdotes can make it real for prospective members.

Good luck with your recruitment and enjoy the last few months of the semester as much as you can!  Please let me know if you have any questions either here in the comments or at emily.palmer329@gmail.com.

~Emily~

(Thanks to Mr. Sky Buffington for allowing me to be a guest blogger and to Ms. Anna Martell for encouraging me to do it.)

Many Thanks!

The article I submitted was a restatement of the speech that I delivered at the National Convention of Tau Beta Sigma last summer in Colorado Springs. The National President of TBΣ conducted a contest asking for essays on the future of the organization. A trait of good leadership is the ability to be open to new ideas, to cultivate them, and to integrate them into the overarching plan for the future of the organization. Leaders who are closed to input from their followers will quickly find themselves following a path that is irrelevant to the organization. I’ll be sure to discuss this concept in a future post, but as an alumnus of  TBΣ, I loved seeing the National Leadership being open to the ideas of their members.

So thank you to the Past National President, Dollie O’Neill, for being open and for listening to the student members of the organization. Thank you to the judges who picked my essay and allowed me the opportunity to speak at the National Convention. Thank you to the Current National President, Dawn Farmer, for encouraging me to submit the article to the Podium. And thank you to everyone else who inspired me, critiqued my ideas, and edited my writing. It was truly an honor and a pleasure.

If you’re interested in reading the article, please check out the full text at The Podium. If you’re interested in learning more about either of these organizations please visit http://www.tbsigma.org/ or http://www.kkpsi.org/

Respect my authoritay!

Respect isn’t earned; it’s given. You choose who you trust and respect on a variety of (often arbitrary) factors. For most people this includes…

In a recent study at the Kellogg School of Management, volunteers played a game where they determined how much money to send to anonymous people. The money would be tripled in transit, and the anonymous recipient could choose to send back as much of the extra money as they want–from nothing to all the extra money. Volunteers who were shown a name of a trusted person (via an unnoticeably short subliminal message) sent more money and were often more likely to believe that the recipient would send some back. Conversely, volunteers who were shown a name of an individual they did not find respectable or trustworthy sent less money and were less likely to believe that they would receive any money in return. Just the brief association of a familiar name was enough to skew the volunteers’ behavior.

Most of the reasons that you trust or respect someone are arbitrary, and even when those reasons are legitimate, they are still based on your past experiences and are not always a good indicator of the future. I’m not suggesting that you should automatically trust everyone without concern for your own safety; but unless your well-being is at risk, I challenge you to give out as much trust and respect as possible.

When you choose to respect another person, you are opening the door for them to respect you in return. You are conveying the message that, regardless of their past, they are a valued person, and you are willing to give them an opportunity to shine. How does it feel when someone chooses to actively disrespect or distrust you? In my experience, it starts a very negative cycle of emotions and actions–all of which can be avoided. It’s up to you.

In college marching bands and concert bands there is often a strict hierarchy of respect based on a mixture of seniority, talent, and reputation. The “average” Freshman is plunged into a social structure where they are not valued as they have not accumulated the necessary seniority or developed their talent enough to garner the respect of their peer group. Feelings of inadequacy are mixed with the desire to “prove” oneself to the group. Over the next few years, these people struggle to move up the band’s social hierarchy until they are either outcast from the group, choose to leave the group of their own volition, or finally feel like they “made it”. Of course, as a reader of this blog, you are likely very familiar with this phenomenon. Each time we decide that someone has to earn our respect or earn their place in our band, we are actively propagating this negative cycle.

Are you going to choose to continue the false belief that your respect must be earned? Or are you going to actively choose to value others for their potential? …for their inherent worth as an individual? …and for the positive impact they can make on you and your band?

Be brave! Respecting and trusting others can be a difficult endeavor because it makes us vulnerable. However, I can say with certainty that you have much more to gain than to lose. Welcome those who are new to your group. Give them meaningful work to do in your band. Help them surpass their own limits. When they fall, pick them back up. Treat them as an equal. Give respect and you will get respect.

An obvious, but often overlooked fact, is that band members are artists first. With the exception of a few marching band auxiliary members (who are still certainly artists in their own right), band is a creative musical endeavor. Bands exist to create artistic expressions of music and to entertain–whether the entertainment is rocking out on the marching field or giving an incredible performance in a concert hall.

Like a chain, a band is only as good as its weakest link.

Unfortunately, with many conflicting priorities, we tend to let musicianship slip in favor of more urgent matters. (Notice that I said urgent. Just because something is urgent doesn’t mean its important.) For most college students, finding the time in the fall to practice anything more often than a couple of times all season is a challenge.  We face hundreds of competing priorities everyday from spending some time with our sweetie to studying for assignments. Time and time again, the more urgent matters push practicing out. When it’s time to head indoors for concert band season, we find that we’ve barely grown in our musicianship or even gotten worse. We struggle to keep up to our peers and just feel pretty crummy altogether. Note: If you’ve never had this happen to you, please share your advice in the comments section below!

It doesn’t have to be this way! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could end the semester feeling proud of the growth you’ve made? You can definitely improve if you’re determined to do so. Make a promise this spring to improve your musicianship! Set a goal for yourself–maybe something like 20 minutes 3 times a week–and stick to it. Find a practice buddy and go find a couple of practice rooms together. Consider doing something fun afterwards as a reward. Only you know what will motivate you best, but you can use that method to grow as an artist.

When we actively put our focus back on the music, we’re fulfilling our obligation to our band. We become less of a burden on our peers and more of a leader. When we join a band, we are making an implicit pledge to learn to play our part as best as possible. As we begin to take responsibility for our abilities, we can push ourselves to achieve more and encourage others to reach their potential as well.

Are you staying on top of your musicianship this spring? How are you going to make sure that you’re fulfilling your primary obligation as a band member? Let us know below!

Back to the Concert Band Season series page?

Photo courtesy of Alan Wiseman

Concert band is one of the few group activities I’ve been a part of where you can create beautiful works of art and never know the people next to you. In most other groups and teams, knowing your peers is critical to achieving success. Although you can definitely put on a concert without knowing everyone in your band, there are so many benefits of developing a strong sense of community within your band.  Most humans have a natural desire to be a part of something. When we feel like we belong, we are more satisfied, we take more ownership for the success of the group, and we care more about the other people in the group.

However, getting to know the other musicians in a concert band can be tough! Socializing during rehearsals is discouraged due to the distractions it can cause. (I’m sure we’ve ALL been there. I used to have a director who hated talking in his rehearsals so much that he would… Well, that’s a topic for another day. Anyway, back to the post!) Although it is important that rehearsals stay “on task”, there is much more to a band than just learning music.

Lucky for you, here are several ways you can build camaraderie in your concert band:

Start with those around you.

There are two important things to remember about your concert band. First, most people aren’t hermits. Second, people who aren’t hermits want to make new friends. The chances are that a large percentage of your fellow band members are sitting in rehearsal wondering what everyone else is like and wishing they could get to know some of the other people in the group. It’s easiest to start working on relationships with the people around you–your stand partner, the cutie on the other side of your stand partner, etc.

As you begin to build relationships with the people around you, you will notice the sense of community already begin to increase. If your stand partner (or you, let’s be real here) used to dread coming to rehearsal, now that they’re comfortable with you, they might start looking forward to spending some time around “those cool people from concert band”.

Plan a social gathering. Celebrate!

Taking the time to celebrate a group’s achievements is very important, but often overlooked! Let’s say you’ve just had a concert that you worked your booty off getting ready for. You practiced for hours on end. When the concert came around, you knocked it out of the park! Naturally, of course.

At your next rehearsal, the director says a few words of encouragement along the lines of “Well, that wasn’t bad. I was expecting much worse. Pull up the new Holst piece. We’ll start at measure 104.” You weren’t really expecting much more than that, it’s a class after all, and the next concert is only X weeks away. You tell yourself it’s no big deal, but deep down inside you feel a little… overlooked and under-appreciated. This could have been easily avoided with a little more celebration and positive reinforcement. Ask your director if you can throw a little party before/after rehearsal. Perhaps persuade him into shelling out a few dollars for some pizzas, or call up your friend Phil who just LOVES to bake cakes.

A little food, a gathering place, and a bunch of people who want to feel appreciated. You’ve got a recipe for success! Don’t worry if not everyone shows up, just make sure that the people who DO show up have a great time! Next time there’s a concert, you can bet everyone is going to want a slice of Phil’s double chocolate death cake.

**Notice from the legal fairy: Don’t make food for people in your own home and feed it to them. It puts you at legal risk. If you do it, and someone gets sick, please remember that I told you explicitly not to. Instead go buy a cake from Wally-land. …at least avoid Phil’s double chocolate death cake. Don’t come crying to me.

Take interest in people outside of rehearsal.

On a personal level, ask about people’s lives outside of rehearsal. Yes, they do have lives beyond playing their instruments. Ask about what people have going on with their classes and their other activities. People love talking about themselves, don’t be afraid to start a conversation! Remember to listen to what they have to say too.

On a larger group level, ask your director for the opportunity for people to share what they have going on. No, I’m not talking about daily announcements where Phil talks about the 23 upcoming bake sales he’s volunteered for. How about putting together a Facebook group for the band where people can post relevant announcements? Maybe a mailing list? A bulletin board in the back of the rehearsal space?

Introduce yourself to someone new every rehearsal.

You can do this in the hallways before rehearsal, wherever you store your instrument, or while tuning before rehearsal. Pick one person per rehearsal that you don’t know, and introduce yourself. It shouldn’t be a long conversation. All you need to do is say hello, exchange names and pleasantries, and wish them a good rehearsal/good day. A bit of kindness can brighten anyone’s day! The most important thing about meeting someone new is to remember their name. Nothing else matters. Remembering names is a tough skill (that I still suck at), but here’s a great LifeHacker article about remembering names.

Have a chat with your director.

Talk with your director about how your concert band feels like a void of personal interaction. Directors don’t read minds, and I’m sure that your director would appreciate hearing what your concerns are. People aren’t robots, and musicians doubly so. We need human interaction and community. Ask your director for any advice on making the band feel more… banded together. Your director has been in your shoes before, though it might take some reminding. Work with your director on ways beyond this list that you can help foster community in your concert band.

What steps are you going to take this week to build lasting relationships in your concert band?

Back to the Concert Band Season series page?

Ahh, marching fanatics and concert band zealots playing in perfect harmony... O_o

It’s that time of year when marching band fanatics attend obligatory concert band rehearsals, watch old marching band shows from past seasons, and generally lament about how much the next 6ish months are going to suck. Well not so fast, I say!  Marchers, even though you aren’t out on a field, you can still have a great time in your concert band! And concert band musicians, you can use this opportunity to do so much more than quietly wish all the “crazies” would leave you alone. This is an opportunity to do things that there just aren’t time to take care of in the fall.

With that in mind, I’m beginning on our first blog series! For the next few weeks, you’ll see a number of posts designed to help you make the best of Concert Band Season–whether you’d rather be out on the field or not.

Here are some of the topics we’ll cover:

…and anything else I think up! Stay tuned, and please feel free to share any suggestions for topics in the comments below.

Robot. Says. Marching. Band. Is. Life.

As a college student, and a band director you face a deluge of responsibilities and conflicting priorities everyday.  You have homework due, lectures to attend, rehearsals, club meetings, meals with friends, and textbooks to read (hypothetically, of course), not to mention finding time for yourself. I don’t need to tell you that it can be pretty crazy.

Somehow, when you’re at your busiest, Mrs. Band Director always finds you and asks for a favor. She knows you’re busy, but she really needs your help! You can’t just say no!

…or can you?

Well, of course you can say no. It’s your life, and no matter how authoritarian your band may be, it’s a free country. But when should you say no? It can be pretty difficult to tell.

Does saying yes bring you closer to your goals or your band’s goals?

This can sometimes be hard to tell, for example “does getting Mrs. Band Director’s papers from her desk for her bring me closer to my goals…?” What’s key here is that you start really thinking about whether your actions are bringing you closer or farther away from your goals and the goals of your band. This will become easier over time, but if this is new to you. Take some time to consider your goals. Will this task help you carry out your goals? If you’re really busy, and it’s not a beneficial task, then why do it?

Does saying yes develop your relationship with someone?

Sometimes things aren’t necessarily bringing you closer to your goals, but they have a philanthropic purpose. Building your relationships with others inside and outside of your band is always a good idea. Doing a quick favor for someone (even if you feel it’s a little inconvenient) may prove to your advantage in the long run. And if it doesn’t… it’s still really nice to be nice.

Will you be doing something true to you?

Are you being asked to do something you’re morally or ethically opposed to? If so, you’re not the right person for the job. Never compromise your values for the sake of appeasing your director or accommodating the wishes of your peers. If you do, you’ll likely regret it; but if you stay true to yourself, you’ll likely gain the respect of many–both your fellow band members and your directors. Integrity shines.

Are you suited to be doing this?

If you know you’re going to have a VERY difficult time with a task, perhaps you’re not the best person to be taking care of it. If it’s something urgent, and you don’t have the time to learn how to take care of it, then it’s your responsibility to say no. Otherwise you’ll have someone inappropriately putting their trust in you. Do you know someone who is better suited? Now’s not the time to be making excuses and dodging responsibility. Do you honestly know someone better suited? Perhaps you should recommend them for the opportunity in stead.

Do you have time to be doing this?

If you’re drowning in homework and other responsibilities, say no! Or better yet, find a compromise. If your band director asks you to polish all the instruments in storage, but she’s already asked you to build a bunch of props for a marching band show, ask her which she would like you to take care of first. If they’re both urgent, then you obviously can’t do it all on your own. Help her to see your constraints.

If the answer to several of these questions is no, you should probably say no to whatever you’re being asked to do. Of course, there’s no reason to be a jerk about it. Learning how to say no (especially to a band director) is a skill all unto its own.

Stick a fork in it... You're done!!

You’ve probably been there…

“Should I do another term as [insert any student leader title here]?”

If you haven’t had to face that question yet, lucky you! It’s probably one of the most difficult internal dilemmas for any student leader. You’ve loved your time as a section leader, club officer, or all-around Music Department Demigod. You made positive contributions to your band, and you’re building a stronger band program than the one you found; but unless you’re a miracle worker, you still have stuff left on that to-do list.

How do you know if it’s the right time for you to take your group to new heights or time to step aside and allow the group to continue on their own? Solving this dilemma will take time, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Ask your friends, your detractors, your director, and anyone else you feel like for their opinion, but remember that you must be happy with your decision. Focus on the questions below and you will have an easier time making sense of it all.

Have you inspired anyone to take your place?

I sincerely hope the answer to this question is yes. As a leader, one of your responsibilities is to encourage others to follow in your footsteps. Is there anyone who feels led to take over after you? You certainly don’t want to abandon ship and leave your group leaderless. On the other hand, if someone is ready to take the reins, perhaps its your turn to bow out gracefully.

 Do you have new ideas?

If you are pursuing another term as student leader because things are already awesome and you want to keep them that way… you should probably wake up and smell the turf. No group is perfect and I’m sure the needs of your marching band, section, club, or ensemble have changed some since you started leading. If you don’t have any new ideas to carry out, you’ll be leading your group into stagnation and apathy–a rut that can take years to get out of.

Are you making excuses to stay?

It’s time to be honest with yourself. Change is hard, really hard. It’s okay to be uncertain about your future, but don’t let that keep you where you are today. Life is about growing and taking on new opportunities to develop. Staying in one place because you are comfortable there will only hinder you in the long-run.

Is another term in this position beneficial to your group? Be objective.

Set the past aside and consider whether you can confidently make marked improvements in your group. Are you truly suited to serve their needs in the same capacity you have been? Will the group be better off with you in a different role? Is there someone else who can bring new energy and ideas to the group through the position you held? It can be very difficult to be honest with ourselves with this question. Our ego wants to answer immediately with “Of course, I’m the best person suited to lead! I just did it for a year and this group wouldn’t be where it is without me!” Keep your pride in check, and be real. Are you really the best person for the job or do you just wish you were?

Get a little selfish. Is another term in this position beneficial to you?

Have you been sleeping well? Does leading this group drain your energy? Are you personally stagnating? Have your passions and goals evolved? Does another term in this position help you reach your goals? If being in the position is detrimental, don’t do it. Seriously. There is always another option. Don’t put your health, academics, or career goals, etc. at risk because you feel obligated to continue leading. Find a place where you can serve the group without compromising yourself, if it’s possible. If not, learn to say no.

Finally, I did not include “Do you feel like you’ve accomplished everything you wanted?” in this list. You will never accomplish everything you want. In fact, perhaps you didn’t succeed in this role. THAT’S OKAY. Failure is not a reason to ask for a do-over. The important thing is to not let your failures become regrets. Accept what happened, learn from it, and use those lessons to propel you forward. You can always look back to this time when you’re rich and famous and say, “Man, am I glad that blog article told me to not regret my failures. Look at where I am now! Perhaps I should look the author up and send him two tickets to Jamaica for an all-expense paid vacation. My treat!” (Come on! I can hope, right?)

When is the last time you faced this decision? How did you handle it? What else did you consider that we didn’t include here?

If you decide to move on to greater things, I urge you to Take the has-been high road (an article by one of my favorite college speakers, T.J. Sullivan).

Ergh, don't some people just drive you CRAZY!?

Now, I pride myself on being able to get along with a variety of people from diverse backgrounds. Tolerance and diversity have always been top priorities for me, but sometimes I meet one of those rare people that I just do not mesh well with at all! If I met this person on the street, I’d probably just keep walking. We would ignore each other and go about our merry lives with little impact on each other. Unfortunately, in marching band and concert bands, difficult people don’t just disappear… you might be stuck with them for the entire semester or several years.

Don’t fear! Conflict isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Many great advances arose from a hotly contested debate, an argument, or a controversial viewpoint. This conflict is an opportunity for personal growth and development within your band.

What do you do when you have to work with a difficult person? Your duet partner has a superiority complex. Your stand-mate only wants to do things his way. The trombonist behind you keeps hitting you in the head with his slide (…it’s awful. I speak from personal experience.)

1. Don’t lose your cool. As frustrated as you may be, getting upset won’t help you. You’re likely to just give the other person even more reason to not want to collaborate with you. Being calm not only helps you to behave more rationally, you also appear more collected, rational, and respectable. Most people find it difficult to cooperate with someone who is angry. If you’re having difficulty remaining calm, take some time away from the situation.
2. Understand their perspective. Most people are rational. They approach situations from their viewpoint which formed from years of experience. As much as we’d like to exclaim, “I CAN’T HELP IT!! SHE’S CRAZY AS A RACOON!!”, there’s a really good chance that she’s not crazy. Take the time to talk with the other person and listen to their perspective. REALLY listen. Ask questions and try to fully comprehend the other individual’s perspective. Even if you don’t have the time to completely understand their perspective, make sure you at least respect that they have valid reasons for feeling the way they do. Hopefully, you’ll be dealing with someone who wants to understand your perspective too.
3. Appeal to their goals or emotions. Motivating a peer can be very different from motivating a group you lead, but many of the underlying principles are similar. It’s easier to cooperate with someone when they want to work with you. Everyone has goals that they want to achieve (even if they don’t know them explicitly), and showing someone how working with you will help them achieve their goals is a very effective way to motivate them to be more cooperative. Talk about any of the goals you have in common with the person–putting on a great performance, learning a piece of music you’re both assigned, etc.–and come up with a plan to work together to reach those goals. Be ready to give and take.
4. Escalate to a superior. If you are really unable to foster cooperation with someone, it’s time to take things to the next level. This final technique can sometimes backfire, so make sure you’ve exhausted your other options. Nonetheless, sometimes you just have to do what must be done. First, tell the other person that you’d like to get help working through your disagreements. Start at the bottom of the chain and work your way up. If you’re in the same section, engage your section leader. If you’re in different sections, engage both of your section leaders. If they can’t help you resolve it, approach a higher-up student leader (perhaps a drum major or the like), and finally approach your director. It’ll help you in the long run if you can say you’ve exhausted all your options before taking things to the next level. Remain respectful to all the involved parties, and be ready that people might not take your side of the disagreement.