Shaun’s specialty is jumping off a  cavernous, icy rim and twisting up in the air, landing on a banked edge of now. He calls his trick the special double McTwist. According to White, he has to be committed before he takes off. “It’s all about commitment,” he declared.  Shaun jumps off what looks like a sheer cliff, twists around, and somehow lands without seriously injuring himself.

Likewise, business executives, leading through VUCA (volatility, uncertainty, ambiguity, and complexity) sometimes feel like they are jumping off of a cliff, and have no idea if they and their company will land safely. Shaun White has to know that he is going to land his jump before he takes off. His sheer commitment propels him to ensure that his body cooperates with his mind.

Likewise, corporate executives have to feel a high level of commitment to consequential decisions. Only that commitment will ensure a safe corporate landing. An internal shift takes place when I make a true commitment to a direction. When I am committed, everything seems to fall into place. I believe that this is the inner state that Shaun arrives at when he takes off for his daredevil jumps. Shaun explained that he can’t see where he is going when he takes off. He has to spot his landing place upside down!

How often do you as a business leader really know exactly what obstacles and challenges you will encounter when you make a significant decision? Like Shaun White, you sometimes can’t see where you are going until nearly the end. The inner state of total, unshakable commitment is often what provides the fuel, creativity, resourcefulness, and dedication to pull off the corporate equivalent of a double McTwist.

Congratulations to Shaun White for having the courage to go for it, and thanks to him for sharing some important wisdom.

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This is a common and difficult issue to remedy. In this time of reduced budgets, clients want quick fixes. I have learned the hard way that it takes time, commitment, and multiple approaches to build or restore trust between otherwise well-intentioned leadership peers.

I have worked with a number of leadership teams over the course of many months. The most successful results occur when there is the luxury of time to design and implement a series of well-designed, structured offsites, with time in between for leaders to try new behaviors and build stronger working relationships. I hesitate when I am asked to fix a trust issue with a 4 hour offsite. I tell clients that these tangled situations are like a ball of yarn that has gotten knotted and snarled. If you pull too hard and too fast it just makes the tangle tighter. However, by gently pulling from the outside, it is possible to untangle the knots.

The Supremes hit song goes on to say, “love won’t come easy, it’s a game of give and take.”  Likewise, developing trusting workplace relationships doesn’t come easy. Some have to give up judgments of others that they have been holding on to for a long time. Others need to forgive. And everyone usually needs to step up and be accountable for their part in the process. It truly is a game of give and take. And sometimes, teams have to wait and work through the process. Often, it takes a skilled and objective outside facilitator to help the untangling process.  With commitment from all, trust can come sort of easy and you don’t have to wait too long!

Enjoy the version of You Can’t Hurry Love I found on You Tube. See if it has application to your leadership team!

©Copyright Marcia Ruben, Ph.D. Ruben Consulting Group All rights reserved

Click here to view the embedded video.

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Macmillan Dictionary defines air cover as “a military operation in which planes fly regularly over an area in order to stop the enemy attacking.” Collins English Dictionary defines it as “the use of aircraft to provide aerial protection for ground forces against enemy air attack.” I interpret this to mean that when ground troops are engaged in a difficult operation, aircraft fly above to make sure that their troops are safe. If the enemy starts to attack, the aircraft fire on the enemy and protect their soldiers.

How does this play out in corporate life? Individuals at all levels are asked to undertake initiatives and activities that are not necessarily popular with other functions or divisions. People like the status quo. Sometimes managers are asked to work cross-organizationally and perform tasks that feel like they are going behind enemy lines.  For instance, a company wants to increase efficiencies across the enterprise and begins to implement a technology system and major new processes that will do just that, and change the nature of work in the process. A fairly senior IT leader, Amber, meets with one of the most influential line executives and gets shot down. He doesn’t understand the initiative and doesn’t think it will add value to his function. Amber’s boss has a follow up meeting. Amber’s boss can provide air cover by backing Amber. Or, Amber’s boss can bad mouth her and cave in to the executive. If her boss chooses the latter path, Amber ends up feeling that she is not supported. The program is sabotaged and delayed. The blame game ensues and we have the beginnings of a new organizational tangle.

I have facilitated meetings where management level employees have shared examples of their bosses leaving them hanging out to dry when they ran into resistance from other functional groups. I have also facilitated meetings when employees have praised their bosses for providing air cover.  There is a qualitative difference in the level of employee morale and performance when bosses provide air cover.

In an informal research study that I conducted within one major corporation, the results suggest that exceptional leaders support their employees, or as they say, provide air cover. In turn, employees feel that when they are doing something that is the equivalent of going behind enemy lines, they are confident that if the going gets rocky, their boss will support them. Of course this assumes that they are acting professionally and in everyone’s best interest. Employees who feel that they have support and protection have the opportunity to grow and develop. After all, being able to successfully overcome resistance and navigate organizational change is an essential leadership skill.

Are you providing air cover to your employees? Is your leadership team? If your organization could benefit from stronger leadership, contact me at info@rubenconsulting.com for a complimentary consultation.

©Copyright Marcia Ruben, Ph.D. Ruben Consulting Group All rights reserved

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Reviewers have criticized the storyline as a series of clichés. I agree. It’s all there:  good versus evil, science versus capitalism, collaboration versus competition, aggressors versus peacekeepers, exploitation versus conservation, etc. I also believe that there are lessons leaders can learn from the film about organizational tangles^TM.  Sometimes it is easier to see patterns of behavior when they are set in a different context. 

I coined the term organizational tangle to describe situations in which a complex, strategic business challenge is further complicated by human dynamics. Tangles occur when different factions within an organization vie for power, resources, or control. For example, the head of one organizational function (Sales, Marketing . . . fill in the blank) refuses to be accountable and blames all other functions when things go wrong. Or, product quality keeps slipping and manufacturing blames engineering who in turn blames marketing. In essence, divisions or departments that are supposed to work together become enemies. There’s a clear “us versus them” attitude.

This is the case in Avatar. In the movie, a military team has been sent to Pandora to seize precious assets. Resources on earth are scarce and the economy is bad. Sound familiar? The  Na’Vi are ferociously guarding these assets and are physically stronger than the earthlings. Meanwhile, scientists from earth are also studying the Na’Vi and believe that by understanding their culture, it will be easier to collaborate with them. The stage is set for a tug of war between the earthling military and scientists. Each has different agendas.  There is also a clear tug of war between the earthlings and the Na’Vi . Avatar provides us a great example of multiple tangles.

As the story unfolds, we see the main character Jake, transform from a paraplegic earthling into a warrior Na’Vi. Brought in to find a way to get the goods from the Na’Vi, he goes native. By seeing and experiencing the world from their eyes, at the same time that we viewers are experiencing it in glorious 3-D, we get a wonderful lesson in the opportunities and challenges of learning to respect differences. We also learn that brute force begets more of the same. There is no win-win solution when you go in with guns blazing.

In my executive development and organizational strategy consulting practice, I often meet leaders who haven’t developed the capacity to see the world through the eyes of their colleagues. By not respecting differences, they miss out on opportunities to share resources, whether it is information, everyone’s best thinking, or out of the box solutions. A tangle is born and the company loses opportunities to thrive. On the other hand, I also encounter leaders who respect differences too much.  They often acquiesce and give away their power.  I coach them to develop a stronger backbone.

Avatar beautifully demonstrates just how hard it is to learn to respect differences. In one early scene, Sigorney Weaver’s character, Dr. Grace Augustine, interrupts Jake as he records a video log of his experience as an Avatar. She reminds him that he has to try harder to get into the heads of the Na’Vi. That is easier said than done. Leaders are coached to crawl into the heads of peers, or to get behind their eyeballs, or step into their shoes in order to understand different perspectives. The theory goes that this will help leaders reposition their requests in a way that it gets heard. In Avatar, Jake gets so into the Na’Vi’s head, that (spoiler alert), he loses himself. Some leaders try to get their way by coercion or force. Others, like Jake, acquiesce. Neither are good strategies.

Learning to respect differences is a critical leadership skill. It requires emotional intelligence and a willingness to collaborate. If your organization could benefit from greater collaboration and respecting differences,  contact me at info@rubenconsulting.com for a complimentary consultation.

©Copyright Marcia Ruben, Ph.D. Ruben Consulting Group All rights reserved

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The volatility and uncertainty we are all experiencing is especially taxing on today’s business leaders. All too often, the first thing that is cut from corporate budgets is learning and development. Yet now, more than others, leaders need to keep sharpening their leadership skills. Taking time out for development is not a luxury. It is a necessity. What better way to appreciate your management staff by providing them with substantial tools.

Lominger has introduced the Development Gift Pack—the perfect set of tools for developing (yourself), coaching (direct reports) and leading (teams). For a limited time you can save 45% on four of their top development books.

The Development Gift Pack is for:

- Managers or individual contributors for self-development
- A resource for managers to help develop their employees and teams
- A resource for HR pros, coaches, consultants, and trainers to help develop others

This unique Pack includes:

•FYI For Your Improvement™ 5th Edition—a development book based on 50 years of research
•FYI for Teams™ 2nd Edition—includes 200 easy-to-implement team development tips
•YOU: Being More Effective in your MBTI® Type—a leadership development book built around the 16 MBTI® personality types
•Broadband Talent Management™: Paths to Improvement—helps uncover new ways to approach individual performance needs.

You get all four for only $139.00 – a savings of $113.95! I have personally used all of these tools and find them an invaluable companion for my own development. I also use them with clients.

Start the new year with an eye toward development. For questions, please feel free to contact me at info@rubenconsulting.com. In the spirit of full disclosure, I received the development gift pack in exchange for writing this blog. Truth be told, I already had and use all of these outstanding tools. Now I have an extra set to give to one of my favorite leaders!

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Let me explain. This classic 1968 cult thriller starts off in a Pennsylvania graveyard. A brother and sister are visiting their father’s grave. A ghoul starts coming after the sister. She screams. The brother tries to save her and is killed. The sister runs off to an empty house. There, she finds an African American man (Ben) boarding doors and windows. He urges her to come inside to be safe. (Spoiler alert—if you haven’t seen the movie, the rest may spoil your thrills in watching. However, you will miss out on how this relates to corporate tangles.) Ben discovers a television. He turns it on and it turns out that there are ghouls all over America.

Here’s where the concept of VUCA comes into play. VUCA stands for volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. This is a true VUCA situation. The television news broadcasters proclaim a state of chaos all over the United States. The situation is volatile because scores of men, women, and children are being killed by people eating monsters. There is uncertainty about who these monsters are, where they came from, and how long this will last. The situation is complex because newly dead people apparently spring to life, and go after the living. There is speculation that this is tied to a recent shuttle to Venus. Or perhaps the cause of this situation is radioactivity from the shuttle or some other source. The situation is ambiguous because there are no clear action steps. First people are warned to stay in. Then they are encouraged to go out. Everyone is scared and confused.

Today’s businesses find themselves in a truly volatile environment. The volatility of markets, uncertain consumer spending, complex credit environment, and ambiguous decision path forward make it difficult for corporate executives to calibrate their corporate strategies. Like the people eating ghouls in Night of the Living Dead, today’s business leaders face unprecedented external threats. They are also scared and confused.

But wait, the threats are not only from within in Night of the Living Dead. It is not enough that zombie-like creatures are roaming the countryside looking for prey. It turns out that there are others in the boarding house and they emerge from the basement. Some are willing to go along with Ben’s plan to protect the house. But one man is selfish and cares only about himself. He has his own agenda and challenges Ben. So while the inhabitants face a crisis of massive proportions, there is internal conflict. Does this sound familiar?

There is a lesson here for today’s leaders. Ben, it turns out, is a strong resourceful leader with a clear plan.  He stays strong and calm in the face of crisis. He doesn’t back down. In order for the others to survive, he kills the dissenter. Metaphorically speaking, leaders sometimes do need to kill dissent. My research suggests that effective leaders make sure that they have a strong team, working toward a common cause. If someone is not aligned with the strategic direction, and after discussion cannot get on board, it is in no one’s best interest for that leader to stay.

In Night of the Living Dead, people were strangled right and left. The situation did become a Strangling Tangle. Today’s corporate leaders can avoid Strangling Tangles by quickly sizing up their strategic landscape, making sound decisions, and rallying others to take decisive action.

Is your company in crisis or threatened by unprecedented external threats? Is your leadership team aligned? If you would like to avoid your own corporate version of Night of the Living dead, contact me at info@rubenconsulting.com for a complimentary consultation.

©Copyright Marcia Ruben, Ph.D. Ruben Consulting Group All rights reserved.

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Justin Walker, the youngest son, is a former drug addict and Iraq war vet and has just started medical school. He has begun his first class in basic anatomy. The scene opens with the anatomy professor assigning students a lab partner. He tells them that they will sink or swim depending on how well they work with that person. Justin’s lab partner is a precocious 16 year-old who already knows every tendon and muscle. To say the least, he is a know-it-all.

The anatomy professor tells the students, “There will be coworkers you don’t like. You have to learn to work with them.” It was at this point that my ears perked up. That very situation, the inability to work with coworkers, is at the heart of what I call a Jangle Tangle^TM. A Jangle Tangle occurs when people with different preferences and styles irritate rather than complement each other.

As an organizational consultant and executive development expert, assisting leaders in strengthening their interpersonal skills and their emotional intelligence is just part of my stock and trade.  I often work with teams of smart, talented, ambitious leaders. Inevitably, there are a few on the team who don’t get along with others. Jangle Tangles abound in corporate life.

I use a variety of assessment tools to help leaders first understand themselves, then others. I like and have successfully used the Myers Brigg Type Indicator, the Hermann Brain Dominance Instrument, the Emotional Intelligence Indicator, the DiSC, as well as a variety of others. When I work with a team, I choose the assessment that makes the most sense for that particular group and organization. Once executive leaders understand their own preferences, they become more astute about the nuances of other styles, and begin to make adaptations in their own behavior that reduces relationship tension.

What is common to all of these assessments, besides a 4- grid quadrant, is that they provide a framework for discussing interpersonal styles in a neutral way. We move from discussing individuals to a language that describes human behavior. We each have unique strengths and gifts. Many of us have multiple talents. Yet, none of us alone is enough to accomplish complex tasks. Like the anatomy professor said, we do have to learn to work together, whether we like others or not. And, it is the social niceties, being able to find a comfortable ease with others that paves the way for smoother working relationships.

In the Brothers and Sisters episode, it turns out that the precocious student almost faints when it is time to make that fist cut into a cadaver. Justin is not as book smart, but he has been a medic. He doesn’t flinch and takes the knife.  The young med student looks like he is ready to throw up, and is ready to bold out of the room. Justin talks to him in a way that engenders confidence and trust. The young med student, they call Doogie Hawser, stays. What was obvious to me as a third party observer is that both Justin and Doogie each brought unique strengths to the situation. Neither could succeed without the other. On television, a Jangle Tangle was averted.

To what extent is your organization rife with Jangle Tangles? How are they impacting your productivity? If you would like to ensure that your leadership teams have the interpersonal skills to effectively accomplish your objectives, please contact me at info@rubenconsuting.com for a complimentary consultation.

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What follows are the three surefire steps:

1. When Someone Makes a Mistake, Put them in the Penalty Box

As an executive consultant, I have seen this phenomenon again and again, particularly in companies with highly educated and professional knowledge workers. When standards are high, the bar is raised. More often than not, this ensures outstanding work products and unimagined results. However, human beings are fallible and in the pursuit of excellence, mistakes are made. I once heard George Zimmer, CEO of Men’s Wearhouse give a talk. He explained that he encouraged his employees to make mistakes, and even rewarded them for mistakes. He saw mistakes as a learning opportunity. Unfortunately, some leaders punish those who have one misstep. These leaders take a negative snapshot which is difficult to change. They never view that individual in a different light.

1. If Someone Brings up a Taboo Topic, Demote them. Better yet, fire them.

I have worked within companies where employees confide that they have been socialized not to raise taboo topics. Taboo topics often involve pay, promotions, favoritism, or unethical behavior. Employees easily cite company lore about individuals who challenged a boss, or brought up a taboo topic. These actions were deemed career limiting because the person in question either was demoted, or in some cases fired. Employees learn what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior by watching what happens to others. It is the rare leader who actively seeks the “elephants in the room.”

1. When an Employee Brings you Bad News, Chastise Them

Many employees easily learn that they will be chastised or worse for bringing their boss bad news. I have witnessed employees spending hours polishing and spinning messages before they are escalated. Much of the spinning and polishing is aimed at ensuring that the blame falls elsewhere. Dr. David A. Bella has put together a fascinating theory about the systemic distortion of information. This happens when well intentioned individuals learn that it is not okay to tell the truth. Information gets polished as it goes up the leadership chain. By the time it reaches top management, the information is stripped of any bad news. The problem is that senior leaders don’t always have the full spectrum of data that they need to make strategic course corrections.

These are very tough economic times. When I visit client sites, leaders and employees alike are worried. However, fear and worry can shut down critical lines of communication. Now, more than ever, it is incumbent upon leaders to ensure that there is a free flow of information.

If you would like to assess your organization and ensure that you have not built a culture of fear, please contact me at info@rubenconsuting.com for a complimentary consultation.

©Copyright Marcia Ruben, Ph.D. Ruben Consulting Group All rights reserved.

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I once had a boss who used to tell our national sales force, “The speed of the leader is the speed of the gang.” In my work as an executive consultant, coach, and “detangler,” I have met some incredibly brilliant and talented leaders. All of them were exceptional in some way, and all had areas in need of development. I would amend my ex-boss’s statement to, “the shadow of the leader is the shadow of the gang.”

There is irrefutable research evidence that the most important determinant of leadership success is knowing both our strengths and our weaknesses. All of us are good at a handful of things. If we are lucky, we become aware of those strengths early in our careers. All of us also have areas of weakness, whether it is keeping up with details, thinking strategically, or emotional intelligence. Learning our weaknesses, or shadow side, early in our career is also a gift. When we fully know and grasp our shadow side, we can take active steps to ensure that our organizations are not crippled by our own shortcomings.

For instance, I worked with an executive many years ago who was perceived as unethical and lacking in integrity. When he received that feedback, he was flabbergasted. He had no idea that others saw him that way. Further, he found ways to discredit the data. Because of his shadow behaviors, his subordinates were afraid to share information with him. They also began to distrust each other. The group, which was responsible for ensuring that his company conformed to strict federal regulations, became completely dysfunctional.

The best time to learn strengths and weaknesses is early in one’s career. Being open to feedback, whether it is positive or negative, requires strong ego-strength and confidence. I often encounter executives who welcome both positive and constructive feedback. They see it as a way to continuously improve and grow.

As a professional detangler, I have seen firsthand how leaders who are not aware of their shadows inadvertently create leadership tangles. Lines of communication become crossed, and open and honest dialogue evades the organization. Leaders carry exceptional positional power. Employees who are two or more levels below in the organization do not question leadership requests, even if they don’t make sense.

What are you doing to avoid tangles? For a complimentary consultation, please contact me at info@rubenconsulting.com.

©Copyright Marcia Ruben, Ph.D. Ruben Consulting Group All rights reserved.

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Most professionals are educated and trained in their subject area, for example, engineering, law, marketing, finance, manufacturing, etc. Once they move into management, their primary education is less important. Unless professionals are lucky enough to have mentors and bosses who are gifted and effective role models, or they seek education to learn basic management principles, they learn by following the behavior modeled by bosses.  Sometimes they get lucky.  Often they do not. In reality, the ability to effectively manage performance and provide specific positive and constructive feedback is a strong management tool. It goes a long way in ensuring top performance, high morale, retention, and ongoing workforce growth and development.

Based on my experience as an organizational consultant and leadership coach, I have uncovered five key reasons why it is so hard for most of us to give hard feedback They include our hardwiring, level of emotional intelligence, thinking and personality style, gender, and an the individual’s  level of management skill development.

1. Evolutionary psychology tells us that even though human beings have developed technology that allows us to live well beyond the means of our cave-dwelling forebears, we still have Stone Age brains. Our cave dwelling ancestors had to rely on their emotions and instincts for survival. When faced with danger, they had to make an instant decision – either fight or flee. Even when balanced with positive messages, human beings hear the negative ones the loudest. This is one reason it is so hard to give negative feedback. On some level, we may all know that we could trigger a fight or fight response. I have had clients rationally tell me that they are afraid of hurting the other person’s feelings and that it is easier to avoid the situation. However, that usually exacerbates the situation. The prospect of giving someone tough feedback may also be perceived as a threat to the prospective feedback giver. That thought in and of itself may trigger a fight or flight response.

2.Giving tough feedback in a way that gets heard requires a high level of emotional intelligence. A manager must be aware of and monitor his or her emotions. He/she must also be able to demonstrate empathy and be aware when the person receiving feedback is in a fight or flight mode. The manager must then be able to demonstrate high proficiency in managing the relationship in a way that both parties walk away feeling heard, understood, and in alignment.

3. How individuals think and how they take in and process information can also influence the degree of difficulty in providing effective performance feedback in a way that does not raise defenses and is heard. The Hermann Brain Dominance Instrument (HBDI) is highly validated and measures thinking styles. Based on Hermann’s model, those who prefer left-brain or logical, analytical thinking over right-brain or feeling, emotional, and interpersonal thinking are likely to have a tougher time demonstrating sensitivity in giving performance feedback. Those with an analytical, logical bent could miss the nuances of feeling and rely excessively on facts and logic in approaching a potentially emotion-laden conversation.

There is also a great deal of research on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®, an instrument based on the work of Carl Jung. This instrument assesses preferences for how individuals perceive information (sensing or intuiting) and how they process that information (thinking or feeling). Those who prefer the thinking style make decisions based on logic and analysis. The problem is considered first, then the people. Their process is more rational and impartial. Individuals who prefer the thinking style are very good at pointing out flaws. Those who prefer the feeling style consider the people first, then the problem. They are more likely to compliment others than offer them a critique. They also take into account how the decision will impact others. If those who prefer the thinking side come from the head, those with a feeling preference come from the heart. This does not mean that those who prefer thinking cannot feel, or that those who prefer feeling cannot think.  What this does mean is that those who prefer feeling could over-empathize with the feedback receiver. Likewise, those who prefer thinking could miss emotional clues, leaving the feedback receiver in a world of hurt.

4. Differences in gender also influence the degree of difficulty in giving performance feedback. More women have entered the management ranks in the last thirty years, perhaps changing the emotional landscape of the workplace. Recent brain research helps us understand and explain gender differences. Dr. Louann Brizendine claims that even though 99% of male and female genes are the same, our brains are strikingly different. This one percent difference suggests that we are hardwired differently. Men and women process and read emotions differently with women able to read emotions on the faces of others more quickly than men. This may give women an advantage in anticipating and responding the concerns of others when having a difficult performance discussion. On the other hand, Dr. Marianne Legato claims that men are often pressed by society to remain unemotional even during difficult and harrowing tasks.  Because men internalize much of their conflict, this could add to challenges of already stressful work environments. Men can learn emotional intelligence and to read emotions. It may not as easy because of how our brains naturally function.

5. The ability to set and manage performance expectations is a skill. It requires an understanding of the entire process of performance management — setting goals, giving constructive feedback, employee development, and evaluating performance. The ability to effectively get work done through others requires the ability to delegate, direct others, and manage and measure work. These skills are relatively easy to develop. They can be learned through courses in basic management skills and from a professional business coach.

The ability to confront others requires courage and the ability to effectively manage conflict. These skills are harder to develop, and are best learned through mentoring, professional coaching, and ongoing development practices.

While a brief performance conversation may seem like a simple task, in actuality, it is quite complex. Leaders need to consider their own biases, strengths, and weaknesses, as well as those of the person for whom the feedback is intended. Not developing an organizational capacity to effectively provide performance feedback results in organizational tangles that are difficult to unravel.

If you would like to sharpen your organization’s skills in giving tough feedback during these challenging times, please contact me at info@rubenconsuting.com for a complimentary consultation.

©Copyright Marcia Ruben, Ph.D. Ruben Consulting Group All rights reserved.

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