Intermittent fasting diet for fat loss, muscle gain and health

Eat Stop Eat Expanded 5th Edition Review [Easter Egg Inside]

2012-04-07T11:14:00.000-07:00

"Eat Stop Eat Expanded 5th Edition Review", or simply "the only Eat Stop Eat-5 review worth a damn", like most folks call it, will include several interesting features this year. Like always, you come out a lot smarter after one of my book reviews, regardless of whether you buy the book or not.

Brad Pilon's Eat Stop Eat started out good, and became really good with the massively updated re-release, Eat Stop Eat Expanded Edition. Living up to its predecessor's relative impact during the time it was released, seems like a tall order, so what does Brad Pilon bring to the table with the third re-release of the intermittent fasting classic from '07?

Eat Stop Eat Expanded 5th Edition Review

I still remember the day when I read that email from Brad, thinking it was a strange coincidence that he was into the same stuff as I was. Maybe the bastard was trying to rip off my stuff, I thought, take advantage of the rapidly increasing popularity of Leangains, eager to get a free ride.

Lots of folks doing everything and anything to get on this bandwagon nowadays, integrity be damned. Just call yourself an expert on whatever's in fashion for the moment and let Google Ad dollars, a half-decent copywriter, "creative" diets (AKA shit you make up as you go along), and a good list take care of the rest. Luckily, that was never Brad's style.

He put his back into it, brought his own stuff to the table with the first scientifically referenced book about about intermittent fasting, and this is yet another improvement over the last one. A bit better, thicker and more updated - but far from the massive update we got last time, but that's unreasonable to expect, of course.

New Stuff

So specifically then, what's new here?

"Big changes are the chapters on autophagy, a cleaned up chapter on 'cardio', more on hunger, testosterone and dieting, and a bit more on GH. All in all, cleaner and more concise, more focusing in on fasting, plus I found that one pesky sentence that people quote saying I don't think fasting under 18 hours works, and corrected it." Brad told me.

Let me cut to the chase, because there isn't much else to add here in terms of pros/cons from this perspective, if you've read my review of the last edition. This is a must-have for anyone interested in intermittent fasting right now.

In summary, a good book just got better, and you better get it pronto (if you want to take part in the Q & A session, starting later tonight*. I'll be around answering your questions, while writing a critical/expert's review of Eat Stop Eat Expanded 5th Edition, Berkhan style (IF specific), and Brad is then free to hop in or answer the critique. *might put this off: don't sit up and wait for me.

Leangains Vs Eat Stop Eat

This Easter...

Two intermittent fasting experts enter.

One leaves.

Client Update

2012-01-06T16:34:00.000-08:00

A pretentious introduction will not set the tone for 2012, so to hell with that, Happy New Year and cheers to all.

I'll kick off 2012 with another client update, talk some shit, and we'll see where it ends up. I accidentally deleted half the post without saving, including a bunch of interesting and not-so-interesting stuff, so it can't really get worse than this anyway.

It's Friday and I've already spent too much time on fiddling with this stuff, really just want to get it done and hit publish. So I'll have a drink and do whatever editing is needed later on. Might add stuff - forgot some details and data.

IMPORTANT: I don't want your money and there's nothing to buy, as noted at the end. On vacation. Read for informative purpose and inspiration only, or to see realistic "optimal" real-world progress/results/data - 100% BS free.*

^^ I had to add this, because some people got the idea that I was offering or asking for something.

* Meaning no funny stuff, steroids, whatever - realistic "optimal" results, ranging from intermediate to highly advanced. That should be interesting to most, I hope, and if not - wrong place, move on.

Stuff

Added stuff, took away some. New after-picture of Brandon at 191-192 or so. Looks pretty damn good.

Thought I'd drop a line to say that I might be leaving. So maybe sometime in the future means just that, like I wrote, but then people keep asking anyway. Might be in a good while or it might never be at all. So that's that.

The reasons are mainly in terms of the limits I see in this field and how everything operates around it. I like the practical get-it-done-stuff, process, what I do with clients, etc, nothing else. Well, besides the science and research, but in talking about tangible things. If you like that, you're stranded on a tiny island in an ocean of shit.

Cool story, bro. Anyway, that's not the most likely thing that'll happen, and I'll stick around for some time still. It's not like I'm taking a vacation-vacation either, because there's still clients to be maintained, stuff written, etc. But I'll try to read a few books, chill, or whatever else rare opportunity I find to...

Don't screw around too much with this fitness shit. Let the good times roll, bro, and tell 'em Old Berkhan sent 'ya.

Clients

I picked an assortment of clients, went for some diversity. Choose most clients based on some point/nugget I wanted to share. Probably forgot a few good ones (sorry). There's a few more on an external HD from my old comp.

I'll summarize the important stuff and have included some testimonials. Not from everyone, since this would be way too long. Actually, you know what, I'll just copy-paste some stuff from emails and call that testimonials. How about that.

You can see past client updates here. The posts goes back several pages, so you'll have to click "older posts" in the right corner if you want to see them all. You can also check out some older testimonials and results here.

I could talk about some clients of notoriety and fame, but I can't or won't, whether it's for the sake of discretion, or because I don't think the time is right. They include people who are fairly well-known and successful in their respective niche, business, or area of expertise, but they won't be included here. I mentioned poker pro Phil Galfond and social media profile/author Julien Smith in this article, but there's a few other names I could drop if I wanted to wow and impress. Perhaps later this year.

Results

1a. I get predictable results - fat loss and concomitant strength/muscle gain is the norm. Fat loss with full strength/muscle retention is worst case. Every client lost fat and saw an overall strength/muscle increase compared to start (stats from before-picture). Variance is low, there's no second-guessing, same overall result with everyone. Only the magnitude varies depending on weeks spent on program, compliance and genetics, etc.

This is not the norm anywhere else - how and why here? For exceptional results to become standard, you refine what works, polish and build upon what's successful - and nothing else. A methodical process, better each round, and finally perfected.

1b. I've been in this game much too long to screw up. When clients don't do exactly what I tell them to do, when they get a brilliant idea of their own, they suffer for it, and don't get the typical results. Fortunately, it doesn't happen very often, because they know it upsets me.

2. What you get after all this tinkering, are baseline values, variables, and formulas with a very high likelihood to work in a specific context, the context being for this client, his or her goals, limitations, and stats. It's math and statistics, with a slew of your good sense and intuition thrown in to make it tick. And then of course, there's some stuff you can't quantify - like the right words to the right client, to set him or her on the right path.

3a. Doesn't everyone tell you that their stuff is better, special, will add mounds of muscle and burn fat like crazy? Of course, it's a god damn cliché, and words don't really mean shit unless you have enough sense to evaluate them.

3b. Start by drawing a distinction between Internet marketers, NewsLetter Gurus, and that third category of people who work in the trenches, who actually knows their shit. If you can't make, it's your loss. Just some friendly advice, I don't give a shit what you do with it.

4. Will add a little something good. You'll see. Later tonight, or weekend.

Forgot some details below, age, etc, I'll fix later.

Bojan

Age:

Before: 226 lbs

After, Week 10: 211 lbs
November: 213-215 lbs

Bojan impressed me with his consistency, burning enthusiasm, and drive for excellence. He started out strong, with an amazing first 10 weeks of progress.

In Summer, he told me that he decided to enter a bodybuilding competition. Then, in August, a Powerlifting meet. Finally, I heard from him again a few weeks ago - and he's still going strong, staying lean at 213-215 lbs.

Still doing leangains, still loving it, maintain low bodyfat has never been this easy.

....Just did a PL meet last weekend. Placed 1st at 100 kilos! Go LeanGains!

...You need to be featured on Oprah or something, man.

I don't know what his body weight was for the contest, or how big and important that powerlifting meet really was, because that's not relevant to the point here. Consistently striving for improvement, maintaining that drive and burning enthusiasm, that's the point.

Carrie

Age:
Before: 121 lbs
After: 113 lbs

Started with Carrie in early 2011, forgot all about her for a bit, and then saw her awesome new look a months later. I was very pleased.

Here's a girl who does not shy away from heavy lifting, squats, and Grey Goose. Real training. Not the useless foo-foo bullshit many women call "training".

I just noticed I actually have a video of me deadlifting 205 lbs x 4 back in July (bodyweight 114-115lbs.. and after a night of drinking.. haha).

Oh my! Better watch out there now, wouldn't want to get too big and bulky. A nice +30 lbs gain on deadlifts compared to starting stats. (Added alternative back shot...to show the negative effects of 2 x body weight deadlifts on gluteus maximus, AKA butt. Clearly too tight. I promise to tone next time. Forgive me, Carrie.)

We talked a bit about her progress, and she told me she followed my exact program for a few months, changed it slightly to fit her personal diet preferences and lifestyle, kept the training as prescribed.

I would think there may be others who would like to reach this point of adopting a lifestyle where they don't have to track or fret over every morsel of food that goes into their mouth. Your protocol can definitely help people achieve this.

...Thank you for all your knowledge and help! It's honestly changed my life (which I'm sure you year all the time)! :)

Glenn

Age: 45

Before: 190-192 lbs

After, Week 12: 172 lbs

After 8 Weeks:

...This was best test I've had in 4-5 years! My cholesterol dropped from 218 to 150, hdl went from 54 to 47, ldl went from 142 to 92, triglycerides went from 108 to 55!

My strength has increased in almost every exercise that you perscribed. Like all of your previous success stories, I tell everyone, that this plan was about as easy as it gets, once you adjust to it and is something that I will follow for life! ...My results so far have been nothing short of spectacular.

...All of our friends were like WTF have you been doing? And they knew me during my P90x days!

Harrison

Age:

Before: 185 lbs

After, Week 12: 177 lbs

Age:

Before: 63 kg

After, Week 14: 58 kg

KS was the best kind of client - well-worded and intelligent, 100% compliant and an astute observer that took note of his results and prior experiences. I asked him for a testimonial, because I knew it would be good and thorough. It follows below.

Martin, I can’t thank you enough for the coaching. The results are incredible – I have never been leaner or stronger. Surprising, given the relatively small change in weight. You actually turned the word “recomp” into reality – something I often heard of but never believed. I was a believer and a follower before you started coaching me, but actually having the opportunity to work with you really made all the pieces fit together.

It was incredible how easily the results came after that – fat loss while gaining strength, maintenance with continued gains, and strength and hypertrophy without adding fat – despite taking frequent time off for business trips.

Like we discussed, I am even more surprised by the mental benefits of the system – the lack of binge-type bounce backs after dieting down to extremely low body fat and the ability to relax and not be stressed out around food are even greater benefits of your system than the ability to take body composition for granted. It is funny to start thinking of 9% or 10% BF as “not lean”, but that is the magic of your system – easy to stay leaner than that even on your worst days.

I really enjoy your coaching style and I am extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with you – best decision ever. Followed directions, got results, doesn’t get any simpler than that. Looking forward to continued leangains in the next few weeks and months.

Can’t wait for the book to come out – it is going to shake things up. In the mean time, you’ve got a dedicated follower and supporter. Your methods of eating and training are the most comfortable that I’ve ever come across and I can honestly say that this is a lifestyle that isn’t going to change.

Some UD2 pics are attached.

Body weight at the time was ~57 - 58kg, depending on the day and time measured. If you compare these pics to the ones I sent you last week, the difference in the way I look is pretty obvious: UD2 = skinny-lean, LG=muscular lean at the same weight.

Coincidentally, the pictures are almost exactly 1 year apart. Date code on the UD2 pics shows June 27, 2010. The other difference, of course, is that on UD2 I had to eat bird food most of the week.

Marcus

Age: 22
Before: 89 kg
After, Week 12: 77 kg
After, Week 18: 75-77, give or take a few, not sure. Took it nice and slow after W12, with the holiday's and all.

The diet and training is amazing and easy to stick to. I think I'm just starting to hit my stride with reverse pyramid training and proper diet adherence. It's only going to get better from here.

12 Week Results
Squat: 70 kg -> 90 kg
Deadlift: 90 kg -> 130 kg
Bench press: 63 kg -> 80 kg
Chins: 12.5 kg -> 32 kg

The cut has been a breeze; no effort at all. I really enjoyed the RPT training. The diet is easily the best part of this. Clear guidelines which lets you work in the foods that you want to eat and still get great results. I've eaten pizza, ice cream and cookies - something which I couldn't do when I tried to lose fat doing a paleo diet. The best thing is that I feel healthier.

Leangains is the way to go. You're a sucker if you're not doing it.

Brandon

Age:

Before: 227 lbs

After, Week 16: 198 lbs

I know I'm still fat but I'm not done yet and actually I feel like I'm hitting another pretty good stride right now. Workouts have been going great and I've not only maintained strength, but actually gotten stronger.

....I snapped these this morning at a bodyweight of 197.8. Lot's of work left to do but I'm still going. I think the before and afters are pretty dramatic. My face is so much leaner. I've had to buy all new clothes to wear to work which was both cool, and a huge pain in the ass.

Ruben

Age:
Before/After: 9-week gain from 75 kg to 78 kg, followed by 2-week cut to 77 kg

Here's a good example of the nice-and-slow-approach: the original "lean gains" approach. Nowadays, Leangains and the Leangains protocols are commonly used for fat loss, and naturally so because it's what most people want and need. It's also the logical evolution of the concept itself, as it has proved itself extremely effective for fat loss specifically, and remains relatively untested for lean muscle gain.

The nice-and-slow-approach is the only reasonable alternative for the natural trainer at Advanced and above, who wants to stay lean during the bulk.

Since the gains will be slow, and differences are subtle, these pictures with shifting poses and varying lighting conditions are useless to showcase the change per se, though other data is always interesting.

Right upper pic 75 kg --> bottom right 78 kg ---> left pic 77 kg, looking just as lean as 75 kg, or leaner.

Thanks to you to, since i started Leangains and your training regime ihave been making gains like i did the first year of training.

What's funny is that I have always trained my arms and shoulders a lot, but they have not grown any. Now that I don´t focus on these muscles they grow.

Net strength gain:

Week 1-12
Deadlift (BW 75 kg) 180kg x 5 reps vs (BW 77 kg) 197,5kg x 5 reps deadlift (+2 kg bw, +17.5 kg dl)Squat: (BW 75 kg) 125kg x 6 reps vs (BW 77 kg) 150kg x 6 reps squat (+2 kg bw, + 25 kg sw)Chin-ups BW + 20kg x 6 reps vs (BW 77 kg) bodyweight + 40kg x 6 reps chins (+22 kg 6RM)

Excellent results using the standards-ratio for BW:strength for LBM gains.

Matt

Age
Before:
After:

I have had a few weeks off here and there...BIG weekends involving shitloads of booze and bad food! However, I am happy with my results so far.

You're a fucking legend.

Matt took the shittiest pictures, drank a lot of booze, but got good results that deserve some recognition here. He made the most progress the first 10-12 weeks. This picture I got, the only one half-decent is fairly representative of his 10-12 week progress, but better still.

Reading his emails gives me a headache right now, pisses me off. Think he started out 75 kg dropped to ~73 kg after 8 weeks, clearly much leaner and with a decent amount of muscle gained. The before-picture here would be ~70 kg or some such. I'll need to ask him, because I refuse to read his shitty reports right now.

In any case, he looks a hell of a lot better in the after-picture, even though his body weight didn't change much.

Kuly

Age:
Before: 75 kg
After: 65 kg

This is me after leangains its been 12 weeks since I started. Got to admit it wasn't that hard and I enjoyed every minute, will keep it up.

Strength has gone up also.
Bench - 75kg x 5 ---> 85kg x 6
Deadlift - 120kg x 4 ---> 135kg x 5
Chins - BW + 25kg x 4 ---->BW + 37.5kg x 5.

Martin, I've got to say your knowledge has been a blessing for me. I found it pretty easy, and never did I go to sleep feeling hungry, actually I went to bed with a full stomach all the time.

Chris

Age:

Before: 90 kg / ~ 200 lbs

After, Week 12: 81-82 kg / ~180 lbs

Added 40-50 lbs to squats and deads.

...Thank you again for your help - after nearly 8 years of trying to get in shape i have made the best gains i ever have in the last 3 months, and am confident that if i continue this plan for another 3 months, i can achieve a good single figure body fat percentage, and then begin to build.

Michael

Age: 36
Before: 171 lbs
After: 145 lbs

Michael started in July, finished in early December. It wasn't smooth sailing all the way, since the process was interrupted by weeks of travel, illness and holidays. But he kept at it, settling for maintenance when progress wasn't possible - which is much harder than it sounds.

The majority of casuals, has a hard time just sticking it though, when they can't train or eat a certain way, and more often than not they'll go on a binge, and flush weeks or months of progress down the drain.

Michael reaped the rewards of his sensible habits and excellent consistency. 5 months later he looks like a new man.

I'm 145 pounds in that picture, was 171 when I started the diet, for a total loss of 26 pounds. Strength has gone up, I'm stronger now then when I started.

Everything worked out great, I'm very happy with my progress. Although I'm not at 5% yet and still have awhile to go before I achieve that, I now believe that it's within my reach and that I can do it anytime I choose to - you've given me the tools, the confidence and the piece of mind. If you're ever in NYC area, I owe you a drink!

Nabil

Age:
Before: 158-160

After, Week 8: 150-152

Great results in a short period of time. The rug might not quite do the results justice, but I am not the type to tell a man to shave. The before/after-picture on back shows a much improved V-taper.

Just wanted to update you and let you know all my lifts are up across the board. This is by far the easiest time (and most successful) I've ever had dieting.

All lifts are higher. I've lost a total of 8lbs.

Bench Press: 195x5 ----> 205 x 8
Squat: 205x10 ----> 235 x 8
Deadlift: 315x5 ----> 355 x 5
Chins: BW+25 x 10 ----> BW+72.5x5

I think I've found the first problem with doing leangains... this morning while doing curls I ran into a bit of an issue. The bars in the gym that are allocated for curls only go up to 100, which I can easily rep for 10+ reps. So now I'm forced to curl in the squat rack. Yep, I'm THAT guy now. This is no doubt related to doing weighted chins with BW + 80 for reps. Thanks, jerk.

In all seriousness, I've put on about 4lbs in the last month with what seems like no increase in body fat. I found what you said in the article about 'The Secret Benefit of Having Low Body Fat' to be intensely true; I have a TON of spare time now. Thanks again for everything and I look forward to reading your book.

Peter

Age: 27

Before: 195 lbs

After, Week 8: 179 lbs

Work in progress, but note the radical change in such a short time-period. Good stuff.

I have maintained my strength and gotten stronger on some lifts (especially weighted chins, where I'm increasing the weight by about 2.5lbs/week still).

I'm definitely happy with the progress so far and think that I probably still have about 10lbs to go before reaching my goal.

SB

Age:
Before: ~275 lbs
After, Week 8: ~265 lbs

Here's a work in progress, included as an example of bodyrecomposition in the overweight - perhaps an inspiring example, as some of my readers face other challenges before thinking about a six-pack.

Note the modest weight loss in 8 weeks, 10 lbs is nothing at this level. But check the back development: a decent chunk of muscle added.

The challenge is not only in diet, but also with the insecurity and doubt that some feel, as rapid muscle gain during the honeymoon phase can "outrace" a significant part of the weight loss as seen on the scale. That was was the case here, as the client clearly lost more than 10 lbs of fat, gained muscle, therefore skewing the numbers.

Mike G

Age:
Before: 182 lbs
After, Week 12: 166 lbs

Good results, but a work in progress. Some muscle on those bones and it'll look just right. Strength gains overall.

.............

Method

Re: consultations. I'm on vacation. Taking a break.

Once and if I take clients again, know that the request queue is very long. The method is unconventional, and not for everyone. I can save us both time by telling you about it. Quote from an unpublished interview, adequate summary.

Most trainers cajole their clients, shower them with undeserved compliments, always ready to negotiate and compromise everything. This is partly because they play the nicety game. They have the "the-client-is-always-right"-mindset. I have the "the-client-is-usually-wrong-and-does-not-know-what's-good-for-him" mindset.

You see, people have all kinds of wild ideas and beliefs. Like a brain tumor, these ideas takes root in their head, poison the mind, and cause counterproductive behaviors. I'm a surgeon, so it's my duty to remove these ideas. I grab people by the neck and show them my scalpel. 'This might hurt for a little bit, but you will thank me later.', I say. The procedure is unconventional and violent, but it's very effective.

This is how it must be done and how it's always been done. Everyone prospers in the end. But if you have a sensitive side, or want the usual and the familiar, or maybe pep talk and motivational words, there are tons more suitable and accessible alternatives available - go there, instead.

Interested to work with me sometime in the future: shoot me an email, you'll be added to the list. When it's up for consideration, I'll get back to you, and that will take some time.

I might try something, an experiment, to accommodate people faster, without compromising my standards. That will make everything faster. I'll let you know about it, if and when it happens.

Ok, that's it. Edits later.

Cheesecake Master Martin Presents: Cheesecake Eve of Doom I-II

2011-12-30T19:17:00.000-08:00

Every Christmas Eve is Cheesecake Eve, and so it fell upon me to once again face off against these wretched cakes.

I did not choose this. But as one of the last of my kind (Level 10 Cheesecake Mastery*), it's my duty to walk the earth and do battle with these cakes for the greater good of mankind.

Cheesecake Mastery, first historical mention, Book of Cake:

...Ability to consume vast quantities of cheesecake.

...Higher echelons of Mastery can only be attained by besting the cake after a robust dinner, for a true Master enjoys a challenge and welcomes every opportunity to practice his skill.

For good or for ill, cheesecake mastery is the supreme expression of hedonic power and might. The art of gluttony perfected.

- Book of Cake, 1248 B.C, author unknown.

For all you young whippersnappers who wish to walk the way of the cheesecake master, I have stories to tell, wisdom to share, and lessons to teach. Gather around the fire and listen carefully to my words.

Cheesecake Eve of Doom II: MegaCake Attacks!

I'm going to start with the events that transpired during Cheesecake Eve of Doom II, which took place a week ago, on Christmas Eve. (Us heathens celebrate on the 24th here in the cold and unforgiving North, not the 25th.)

Let me tell you how yours truly nearly met his maker last week. It all started with the spontaneous last-minute decision to write "Like Water" late that evening, finishing around 3 AM on Friday night/Saturday morning. That would prove to be an almost fatal mistake.

Coupled with last-second Christmas presents to be purchased before catching the train at noon, that brilliant idea left me with two hours of sleep in the tank. Barely enough to keep my eyes open after the Christmas table meat feast - and that's something I'd normally consider an appetizer. Something to warm up the taste buds before the real eating starts. But my foolish ideas made this otherwise pleasant task feel monumental...

...And then MegaCake arrived.

Enter MegaCake.

For someone with my skill and ability, the opponent would not have presented much of a challenge under normal conditions.

But MegaCake, weighing in at an impressive 4 lbs, was too much for me to handle in this weakened and pathetic state. Sweeping in from nowhere, it overwhelmed me with its sheer power and might. This massive beast was not the type to scheme, trick, and play mind games tricks. No...this was a warrior to the core, putting its brute strength against mine, in a fight where it had the upper hand.

One of the last pictures captured of me before MegaCake knocked me out in the first round. And yes, that's whipping cream on top of the cake. A healthy lubricant and an essential tool for any self-respecting cheesecake master. The connoisseur might favor himself some peanut butter as well, often in combination with the whipping cream. However, one must take caution not to abuse this combination, for it leads to the dark side.

A devious combination of sleep deprivation, rice pudding, salmon and cold cuts, lead to MegaCake knocking me out in the first round.

Like Bane broke Batman's back, MegaCake wrestled me to my knees with brute strength, and delivered a crippling blow that sent me into a long slumber.

These cake conspirators appeared to be finding much joy in my humiliating defeat. Their sinister laughter still haunts me.

However, a True Master is not so easily bested. I was called back from the brink of defeat by the voice of an ancient entity that reminded me of my duty, instilling in me a new sense of energy and fighting spirit.

I arose from my deep slumber and sought out to take up the fight where I had left off. By the cover of the dark, I hit MegaCake with a surprise attack at 2 AM - exacted my revenge, making quick work of its remains, and restored the balance of the world. Victory was mine, in the end.

....

What a close call that was. I've grown sloppy, it seems. Perhaps this is what happens as one grows overconfident of his ability? Preparation and rest is gradually compromised, little by little, until you one day end up paying the ultimate price when something surprises you.

I think my careless behavior can be traced back to Cheesecake Eve 2010. Having conquered the Twin Cakes, I thought of myself as invincible....

Cheesecake Eve of Doom I: Twin Cakes of Terror

Cheesecake Eve 2010: The Twin Cakes

For the first time, I shall recount the events of last Christmas.

Up until now, I've hesitated. The powerful Cheesecake Mastery techniques that I am about to show you must not fall into the wrong hands, where they can be used for destruction and dark deeds. With great power comes great responsibility.

However, my encounter with MegaCake reminded me that I might not make it back alive one day. Thus I deem it necessary to pass on my secret techniques, for a potential successor to carry on the fight after my demise, if the time comes.

Mastering The Twin Cakes would prove to be the ultimate test of my skills.

One does not simply walk up to 6 lbs of cheesecake and start eating. For a challenge of this magnitude, one must come prepared in body, mind, and spirit.

The 7 Steps to Supreme Cheesecake Mastery

To become a True Master, you must become an expert in the fundamental principles of battle. There are 7 steps to supreme mastery, and a True Master knows how to apply them swiftly and skillfully when the situation calls for it. Pay careful attention as I demonstrate them, if your life is dear to you.

1. Dress for Success

To enter the mindset of a fighter, you must dress like a fighter. Save your unkempt and simple attires for lesser challenges, lest you want your unpolished appearance to reflect in your fighting style.

2. A Proper Warm Up

Ready yourself with a proper warm up - and strike fear into your enemy with a demonstration of your combat styles. When he sees that you have a move for every situation, his spirit will be crushed.

Step 3. Power Charge

Next up, the Power Charge. You have a burning rage inside; find it, grab it, and release it. This technique must be reserved for strong opponents...because every Power Charge brings you a little bit closer to the dark side. Abuse this power, and you might never return.

4. Engage with Full Force

Now, engage the enemy with full force. But before any physical exchange takes place, attack his spirit and morale. An Intimidating Shout will make him weak in his knees - and ripe for attack.

Or, assume the role of a berserk, if you have a violent temperament and a streak of madness. Your reckless demeanor and untamed style will make you seem unpredictable and dangerous, instilling doubt and fear. Watch him squirm when he meets your gaze - finding only a dark abyss of madness and destruction.

Perhaps you are a trickster, relying on quick wit, foxy schemes and clever maneuvers, rather than brute force and close combat? If so, you will find it fruitful to employ Drunken Style moves to mislead and trick your enemy into underestimating you. Mistaking you for a drunk fool, will make him careless and force a foolhardy attack. Once he realizes his error, it will be much too late. Enjoy his surprised look, as you reveal your true ability - and unleash a deadly attack.

You understand now, I hope. Win the battle of minds and you will have won half the fight before it even began.

But ever once in a while, you will come across a rare and overwhelmingly powerful foe that you cannot best with your usual techniques....

If your attack fails at this point, there is only one thing left to do....

5. Your Special Move

With your last ounce of strength, you must recollect yourself, and focus all your remaining energy into one final attack - your special move.

The Twin Blades yearned for battle...

The Twin Cakes met their doom under the edge of The Twin Blades. Victory, at last.

6. Feast Like a Fiend

Now feast furiously on the remains of your enemy and absorb its life force.

7. ???

Hmmm...The Seventh Step...no, you are not yet ready for this one yet. Fret not, my friends! Rest assured that the six techniques I've covered so far, will be more than sufficient to master most cheesecakes in this earthly realm - if you practice them consistently and passionately enough.

Bonus: An Ounce of Cheesecake a Day...

Last Christmas, 6 lbs. On my birthday, on my Mum's birthday, on Easter, once during summer, on Marten's goose, I did 3-pounders, and this Christmas I did a 4-pounder.

6 lbs + 5 x 3 lbs + 4 lbs = 25 lbs or ~ 12 kg of cheesecake in a year. If we average that out, it comes out to just about one ounce of cheesecake per day.

So, since I haven't been sick since forever, I will conclude that an ounce of cheesecake a day keeps the doctor away.

One helluva finding, I'd say. Sure beats this 6-month randomized controlled study on soft drink consumption (ambitious and very costly), where they gave people coke (SSSD, "sucrose-sweetened soft drinks"), diet coke, skim milk, or water...and - surprise! - they found that the soda drinking group got fatter and unhealthier.

...Daily intake of SSSDs ( for 6 mo increases ectopic fat accumulation and lipids compared with milk, diet cola, and water.

This study was published three days ago.

Point being, it really boggles my mind to see that money and time is spent on answering questions that we knew the answers to decades ago. Soft drink consumption has been a particular focus these recent years and people don't ever seem to tire of it.

"Alright now...I got this $900k grant to waste, and the money ain't spending itself. How about this: are soft-drinks REALLY unhealthy? Let's check this just one more time to be absolutely sure. No one's compared coke versus diet coke AND water before, so let's do that."

Oh, how novel...

My cheesecake research makes a lot more sense. Plus it's free.

A Few Words

Well, I hope everyone had a blast this Christmas, because I sure did. Lots of reading and relaxing, and less computer time, does the soul and body good. A big thanks to everyone that sent me a Christmas present, by the way. I truly appreciate it.

OK, it's 04.20 over here and time to close up shop.

I wish all Leangains fans across the globe the very best for 2012. I have a feeling that it's going to be a great year for all of us.

Happy New Year, guys.