Learn, Laugh, Love

Compassion

2011-02-24T10:41:00.000-05:00

Why compassion is the most important of human virtures.

Finding a Message

2011-01-26T21:09:00.001-05:00

Today I found myself looking for a pithy quote on the environment and sustainability for use on a commemorative plaque. I never found exactly what I was looking or, but I did find this quote, which is so powerful that it demanded that I stop what I was doing, so as to be fully open to the personal significance of this teaching.

Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them...he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?"...God said, "I did do something. I made you." -- Sufi Teaching

...and you, and you, and me.

I'll Meet You There

2011-01-13T20:04:00.000-05:00

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn't make any sense.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi
From Essential Rumi translated by Coleman Barks

This wonderful poem is quoted by Elizabeth Lesser in her TED talk entitled Take the Other to Lunch, in which she encourages us to see the person behind the stereotype and get to know the "other" you fear or loath.

Here is her TED talk. It inspired me to try to be more open to people who believe fervently in ideas I reject. I hope you will listen closely to what she has to say.

The Antidote

2011-01-09T00:19:00.003-05:00

It seems that intolerance, hatred and even violence are on the rise in our country. Minds are closed, tempers flare, angry words are spoken, leading to angry actions. Verbal attacks on those with whom one disagrees are on the rise, physical attcks are threatened, and carried out with ever greater frequency.

Sixteen people were shot yesterday in Tuscon, Arizona. Five died. The apparent target of the attack was U.S. Representative Gabrielle Giffords who was critically wounded. Here's a quote from the Associated Press' coverage of this horrific incident:

"During his campaign effort to unseat Giffords in November, Republican challenger Jesse Kelly held fundraisers where he urged supporters to help remove Giffords from office by joining him to shoot a fully loaded M-16 rifle. Kelly is a former Marine who served in Iraq and was pictured on his website in military gear holding his automatic weapon and promoting the event.

'I don't see the connection, between the fundraisers featuring weapons and Saturday's shooting,' said John Ellinwood, Kelly's spokesman. 'I don't know this person, we cannot find any records that he was associated with the campaign in any way. I just don't see the connection.' "

He doesn't see the connection...how is it possible that something that is so obvious on its face to me, would completely elude this man. It makes me wonder if I could even have a conversation with him wherein we would find a place of mutual understanding. Right now, I tend to doubt that it would be possible.

Please don't misunderstand; I'm not angry at him. I am just perplexed and saddened. Perplexed at a set of values that put a dubious principle -- the right to own guns -- above the very lives of people. And saddened that I cannot understand Mr. Ellinwood, Mr. Kelly, and all the others who subscribe to this belief, and that they, most likely, cannot understand me.

While a dialog on this topic needs to happen, I'm fairly certain the country is not ready to have an open and productive conversation on this matter. Before that can happen, leaders must emerge on both sides of the issue; leaders with cool heads and open minds, who are capable of setting a tone of respect and of leading by example. Only then will a productive debate be possible.

Until then, I think those of us who abhor violence, who believe that violent words lead to violent deeds, and who refuse to fetishize guns and violent behavior, must commit ourselves to radical nonviolence. By that I mean that even when we are most frustrated by events and the reactions of others to those events, we must refrain from anger. We must not vent our frustration, but rather set an example of peace, love and understanding in all our words and deeds. Be the change. It is the only way.

Opening

2011-01-08T00:13:00.001-05:00

How did I get here -- to this place in my life where I'm writing this blog? Undoubtedly, the roots of this story go back many years, or even many lifetimes. However, there was one moment a few years ago that stands out in my memory as key. In fact, it was like a key that opened a door to a world of belief which had previously been closed to me.

That moment came abut five years ago during a conversation with my daughter Corinne in which she told me that she had read a book she thought I would like. The book was Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian L. Weiss. At the time I thought nothing of it. She did not tell me what the book was about.

A short time later, during a visit to Portland, Oregon, my wife and I were in Powell's Books, just browsing, when I remembered Corinne's recommendation. Well, actually, I didn't remember it exactly, just that she had recommended something. So I called her from the bookstore. At first, she didn't remember which book she had recommended either, but eventually, we narrowed it down together and we were able to reconstruct the conversation to the point where she could remember which book she had suggested to me.

This time though, in response to my question, she did tell me what it was about: past lives therapy. I have to admit that when I heard that, I was more than a little skeptical about whether or not I would like the book. The only thing I knew about past lives was what I had heard about Shirley McClaine's books on the subject. And, that was not very encouraging.

Nevertheless, with some difficulty I found a copy of Many Lives, Many Masters in Powell's. (Exactly which section of a bookstore do you look in to find a book on past-life therapy?) In spite of my doubts, I bought it and read it.

Wiess' tale turned out to be a great read. I was immediately swept up in the tale of a young patient with mysterious symptoms, who, under hypnosis, reveals details of many past lives she had lived, complete with knowledge of events and cultural details that it would have been impossible for this young 20th century woman to know.

Much to my surprise, though, I found I didn't need all of the "proof" Dr. Weiss assembled to validate this woman's experiences in order to believe in what she and the doctor were experiencing during her therapy. Somehow, without making a decision to do so, my consciousness had moved on from the world of empirical fact to the world of belief. I knew in my heart that these stories were true, and it amazed me, because I had always been a doubter when it came to anything resembling the spiritual side of life.

Yet, now I had found something that I believed in, and I was just as impatient with Weiss' initial doubts about what he was experiencing as I would formerly have been dismissive of his later acceptance of those experiences. Some part of my mind had opened to a new perception of the world that day, and I had both the recent convert's impatience with doubters and a hunger for more knowledge.

After finishing the book, I was anxious to discuss with Corinne what had made her think I would like this book. To me there seemed nothing in my personality or previous interests that would have lead her to believe this book would appeal to me. Yet, somehow she had not only arrived at that conclusion, but felt strongly enough about it to follow through and mention it to me.

When I eventually asked her about it, she simply said, "I just thought you'd like it." Although at first this seemed inadequate as an explanation, I have since come to understand that many seemingly inexplicable occurrences make perfect sense once you become open to explanations outside the realm of what is scientifically provable. Of course she knew I would like it, it was exactly what I was ready for...what I needed...at that moment. All it took was the right person to see it.

Exercise as Meditation

2011-01-06T20:16:00.003-05:00

I've discovered an interesting phenomenon at the gym. I use the elliptical machine for cardio or weight-loss workouts. I really love the motion of that machine, it's like running without the pounding, or like riding a bike standing up. It is really unusual and really delightful.

Krishna Das

As nice as it is however, 30+ minutes of it several times a week can get a little tedious. So, now I bring my iPod with me and listen to music while I'm exercising. I've actually been doing this for quite a while, and during that time I've tried many different styles of music. Somewhere along the way, I tried Krishna Das' kirtan chants and now I rarely listen to anything else. The chanting has an amazing impact on my workouts. The first thing I noticed was that if I closed my eyes and allowed myself to get caught up in the chanting, the workout would just zip by.

But, after a few weeks of listening to only chants while exercising, I became aware of a more profound effect. I start to feel an intense joy, about mid-way through my workout. Then a huge smile would appear on my face and just stay there for the rest of the session. Sometimes I wondered if the other folks in the gym noticed this madman fiercely pedaling away on the elliptical with his eyes closed and a big smile on his face. No ever said anything, but people don't typically comment on things like that in the gym. Some people grunt, some hum or sing along to whatever they're listening to via their earbuds, some remain stoically silent. No one really pays any attention, as far as I can tell. Your workout space is your own.

Recently, I've begun to experiment with another technique on the elliptical. I still listen to the chants, and mostly keep my eyes closed, but now I try to focus on my breathing -- in and out through my nose -- almost as if I were meditating. Well, not almost, exactly like I was meditating. Now here's the really neat part: when I'm successful at focusing on my breathing for a while, my heart rate slows, even while I'm working harder on the machine.

This may not be a scientific breakthrough; I've read about studies that document the stress-reducing effect of meditation. Nevertheless, for me the combination of breathing, listening to the chants, and working hard, yet progressively feeling better and better as I do, is like catnip. Whereas there was definitely a time when I resisted these workouts, now I happily look forward to them, and am even disappointed if I miss one.

Namaste!

Einstein, Buddha and Tolle

2011-01-03T18:56:00.001-05:00

The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion. - Albert Einstein

Was Einstein speaking as a physicist or as a spiritualist, when he said this? I suspect he was speaking as a physicist. Is it not the physics pioneered by Einstein that tells us that all points in time exist simultaneously? Yet, perhaps, as was often the case, there was a touch of the spiritual in Einstein's pronouncement.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha

Eckhart Tolle expands on Buddha's thought by reminding us that the present moment is all there is. There is no past, only memories. There is no future, only speculation. They are both, as Einstein said, a stubbornly persistent illusion.

As they so often do, science and spirituality once again show us two sides of the same coin.

Chaos

2010-01-29T01:11:00.001-05:00

"In the dream of dominion over all nature, we believed we could eliminate chaos from life. We believed there were straight lines to the top. If we set a goal or claimed a vision, we would get there, never looking back, never forced to descend into confusion or despair. These beliefs led us far from life, far from the processes by which newness is created. And it is only now, as modern life grows ever more turbulent and control slips away, that we are willing again to contemplate chaos....

The destruction created by chaos is necessary for the creation of anything new."

—Margaret Wheatley

This was originally posted on Facebook on January 28, 2010.

Charlie is My Guru

2009-06-14T16:51:00.000-04:00

I have a grandson named Charlie, who is my guru. This is not as silly as it sounds. Charlie is a very wise ten-month old, especially when it comes to tricky social situations, questions of how to best spend one's time, or, most importantly, love.

For example:
When I find myself obsessing over some minor social slight, some thoughtless behavior on the part of an acquaintance, or any one of the myriad other occurrences that tend to get me down, I simply ask myself, "What would Charlie do?" Of course, the answer is always: Charlie wouldn't do anything. From his perspective, none of this matters at all.

Another example:
Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed by all the things I "should" be doing, often so much so that I end up not doing anything but feeling guilty. At such times, I try to remember to ask myself,"What would Charlie do?" The answer is one of the following: Charlie would laugh. Charlie would play. Charlie would eat. Charlie would sleep. All good advice. What Charlie would not do is feel guilty.

About love:
Often (very often) I hold back from letting people know how I feel about them, when the truth is I love them very much. Charlie, on the other hand, is all about pure, unqualified love. He doesn't care whether or not you "deserve" it. He just gives it. It's the only way he can be.

So, I've found that it is not necessary to go to India, or anywhere else to find a guru to follow. My guru is right here in my family. I couldn't have made a better choice.

This was originally posted on Facebook on June 14, 2009.

Ego

2008-10-05T21:35:00.000-04:00

In normal everyday usage, "I" embodies the primordial error, a misperception of who you are, an illusory sense of identity. This is the ego. -- Eckhart Tolle

The ego is not master in its own house. -- Sigmund Freud

Ego stands for Edge God Out -- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Beginner's Mind

2008-09-27T21:56:00.000-04:00

In the beginner's mind all things are possible, and so I am very happy to be a beginner when it comes to spiritual matters. One of the teachers I turn to as I try to see the way forward is Eckhardt Tolle, who speaks of "being present," which may be the same as, or at least a step along the way to enlightenment. Tolle says that just being aware that the voice in your head is not really who you are is the first and most significant step along the path to being present. Looked at this way, growth in consciousness does not seem an insurmountable task, at least to this beginner's mind.

With Gratitude

2008-06-27T21:53:00.002-04:00

Every life is touched by many others. Some of those others help to open doors. I have been lucky enough to have been touched by many wise and caring individuals. Some are friends, some I've never met, yet they have touched me through their writing or speaking, their art, or the lives they have lived. These people have helped set me on the path I am on now, or have pointed the way along the path for me in some significant way. I am grateful to them all, and wish to acknowledge the vital role each has played in my life. The list has no particular order.

Neil Selden
Lee Selden
Bernard Corrigan
Eckhardt Tolle
Oprah Winfrey
Bobbie Cohen
Corinne Cohen
Alec Cohen
Lauren Cohen-Benavides
Gary Zukav
Linda Francis
Jennifer Jones
Elizabeth Lesser
Karin Auerwater
Nickolas Vassili
Edmund J. Spencer
Ray Hauserman
Wayne Dyer
Louise L. Hay
Joseph Koster
Ram Das
Krishna Das
John Randolph Price
Rev. Bill Grimbol
Sri Sri Thakur Anukul Chandra
Dr. Brian Weiss
Kate Plumb
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Andre Louis
Susan Louis
Dar Reilly

Thank You.