tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32576241137467718292024-11-01T04:18:02.823-07:00Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.comBlogger150125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-48425015149823292102012-08-31T19:31:00.000-07:002012-08-31T19:31:00.188-07:00<P>One of the most difficult challenges, particularly in a same-sex relationship, is establishing boundaries with friends and blending with each others' friends. Plus, doing this while remaining secure and making each other feel like she is the most important person in the world!</P><br /><P>Ordinarily in lesbian relationships, the majority of friends are the same-sex. Friends can be intrusive, meddlesome, opinionated, jealous, rude and inconsiderate; however, they can also be fun, supportive, considerate, helpful, and great sounding boards. There is no doubt, friends will either play havoc on a relationship or be accepting and considerate.</P><br /><P>Let's work from the premise that the relationship is the top priority and friends are not (but still very important). There are several key areas to focus on that can immediately bolster the relationship. These areas need to be mutually established and respected:</P><br /><P><STRONG>Boundaries</STRONG> - Agree on parameters that are manageable. Determine what the negotiable and non-negotiable items are. Examples: Agree to both be home by 8pm, unless otherwise discussed; no answering phones during dinnertime; cell phones are off-limits when you crawl into bed. If you go to happy hour, invite the other to join or at least communicate plans and be home on time. Remember, these boundaries must be agreed upon. If you end up policing and penalizing because of the boundaries, what you have in place is not working. The boundaries are to be and feel respectful of each other, not to hold you hostage.</P><br /><P><STRONG>Communication -</STRONG> Make each other feel special, loved, secure and safe. Talk to each other about everything. Find out about what is important to each other, feelings, favorite things, pet peeves, goals and dreams, fears and phobias, food, children, families, etc. Get to really know each other better than anyone else. Build trust and respect. Make each other feel valued and important.</P><br /><P><STRONG>Common Interests</STRONG> - Explore what you enjoy doing together such as projects, travel, entertaining friends, cooking, golf, fishing, hiking, etc. It is not necessary to do everything together, but it is healthy to do some (enough) things together. It is important to have fun together and feel connected. Orchestrate your relationship so that you are not always running parallel, but have enough intersecting times that keep you in sync with each other.</P><br /><P><STRONG>Host social occasions</STRONG> - One way to blend with each other's friends is to jointly host social times at your home such as dinners and game nights. Another is to plan outings with joint friends such as happy hours, going to dinner and movies, so forth. The key is to become more comfortable with each other's friends. Make efforts to blend friends and be more inclusive.</P><br /><P><STRONG>Spontaneity</STRONG> - Surprise each other in ways that you know are appreciated and liked. Break the routine and break away from all others and do for each other. Make each other feel exceptional.</P><br /><P>Happy, long-term relationships are to be nurtured treated as top priority. Focus on enjoying your time together. Include friends when it's appropriate and mutually agreed upon. There should be no feeling of competing for time, attention and love! Friends are to be fun additions.</P><br /><P>Gayl Newton is a Living OUT Mentor who works with gays and lesbians to help them embrace who they are and live with confidence. For more articles and coaching information go to <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.confidentlyout.com/</A>.</P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/6903053" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-19112323519839712802012-08-31T09:00:00.000-07:002012-08-31T09:00:07.839-07:00<P>As someone who's had some practice in the game of dating, you might feel that you will not need any kind of relationship advice. Whether you are straight, gay or bi, you will still have to take heed of words of wisdom concerning dating. it is a complex situation that can go either way. You might find yourself a bit stumped on what to do, much like any other individual, when you are out on a date with a good looking guy and you're simply wondering what to do to make a good impression. In spite of this, there's no have to put any huge stress on yourself. As a matter of fact, you can just relax and breathe easy, seeing as the following tips below should help you out:</P><br /><P>- Always bear in mind that being you is a good thing. Many people often make the conclusion that trying to be someone you are not will make a great impression on others. However, you are just lying to yourself. You don't have to make up stories about your so-called achievements. This proves to be a pretty unattractive trait that'll simply get you nowhere with your date. The whole point of dating is for you and him to get to know each other a little better. Thus, it definitely helps to be a real individual, considering that you would like to develop a lot of respect between the both of you.</P><br /><P>- Bear in mind that this is a date, and there must be a chat going in between certain activities. You wish to know more with him, therefore you need to ask him some questions. Do make sure that you actually listen to everything he's saying. The last thing any person would want is someone who's essentially a blank slate. Of course, this does not mean that you are just going to keep on listening for the whole duration of the date. As a matter of fact, this is your opportunity to tell more with yourself. Naturally, in relation to the tip mentioned above, be as authentic as possible. Both of you'll surely have several fun making efforts to get to know one another.</P><br /><P>- And now for the golden rule: when engaged in gay dating, always keep in mind that you would like to treat him the way you yourself would want to be treated. Don't be rude. Be on time. Call him if you're going to be late.</P><br /><P><B>Bernard Y</B> invites you to <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.freedating411.com/</A>, dedicated to sharing useful information on relationships and everything under the sun concerning one's dating and love life.</P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/7094445" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-78015800734731819512012-08-30T22:30:00.000-07:002012-08-30T22:30:02.115-07:00<P>My girlfriend is going to skin me alive after she reads this article, but she found out three years ago that my thoughts go against the grain in social issues. The question that I have been ruminating over the last couple of months was initiated by a friend asking me over key lime pie (my favorite!) "Can one person give you everything?" She was caught in a relationship where she felt emotionally fulfilled but was sexually lacking.</P><br /><P>Now here was my answer, and this is not as a counselor, educator, or student- because I would totally take the safe and neutral stance by saying "well there is a continuum on every level of life... so... " But as just me, I don't think so. I have always felt that it is a lot of pressure to ask one person to be compatible on every level of a relationship. Imagine the work and expectations! With that said I personally battle with commitment and have difficulty with the concept of being with one person "forever. Also, my intention is not to offend the die hard romantics, like my girly, who believe in ever lasting partnership. I am simply exploring the question "what can we truly ask of each other in an intimate relationship?"</P><br /><P>When I was 21, I ask my adoptive mother if she had ever loved more than one person at a time, especially during decade of marriage. She said "attraction is a chemical experience that we cannot control, but what we do with it is another thing". It was the first time anyone had ever told me that in life people will always be attracted to others, but that it was a choice on how we decided to act upon it.</P><br /><P>My mother, on the other hand, told me that humans are not built for one relationship for life- although she emphasized that to every rule there are many exceptions. With the world getting smaller and information flowing in a much more rapid pace, I find people are becoming all the more diverse and interesting. It is hard not to feel attracted to others or multiple people at once.</P><br /><P>My girlfriend calls this a disease, which makes me laugh. She describes people who are attracted to more than one person (aka me) as being a sex obsessed and girl infatuated lesbians. And for some of us it's true, but I do believe there is a genuine LESBIAN LOVE TRIANGLE that happens on occasion that is innocent, accidental and lust based. After all, unless you live in a huge metropolitan city, lesbian community tends to be small, and the law of proximity says that the more time you spend with others the more likely you are to become attracted to them.</P><br /><P>The question is whether or not this is cheating or a defective behavior. The answer is in your intentions. If you're looking for someone just to stir the pot of passion, or because you're one of those lesbian bed hoppers (with absolutely no judgment because I am one!), or are always wanting what you can't have... well then there might be more to your lesbian love triangle than just being attracted to another woman.</P><br /><P>People have told me in the past that when they have been attracted to more than one person, it often feels like an infatuation. And the truth is when brain chemicals start stirring during the initial attraction phase you might as well be high. We feel like we could not live without that person and that in order to be happy we need them. We start to feel like our sex lives are better and feel more confident. The passion and intoxication we feel we have lost with one partner is being ignited but another woman. But when has anyone you know made a good choice when intoxicated- even when it's induced by lust.</P><br /><P>If your relationship is open and you both have agreed on being able to date, love, or sleep with multiple people than it's not a problem (and make sure you are both practicing safe sex and getting tested regularly). But that is a rare and often not an egalitarian situation. Someone often ends up feeling left out or used/</P><br /><P>So should you do if you're in a Love Lesbian Triangle? You probably need to take a step back and see what's happening in your life presently, and also remember:</P><br /><P>1.Love has no motives- are you seeking something, such as lust, sex, or passion? If you are getting or benefiting from someone while hurting another there is no respect or allegiance towards either person you're involved with.</P><br /><P>2.Love has no rewards, but the gift of commitment. You cannot ask of another fully, if you are giving half of yourself to someone else.</P><br /><P>3.Love does not demand or expect- If you're in the "I WANT" state of mind and pushing your partner to be something they're not then you cannot love your partner as the ideal self.</P><br /><P>4.Remembering that fantasy rarely matches reality. If you're having problems with your partner, your stuff will still go with you into another relationships, and the lezzie on the other side is not always greener!</P><br /><P>At the end of the day if you are that torn about your feelings for your partner or another woman, take some time for yourself, maybe not being with anyone will help you figure out what it is you're chasing. Seek guidance from a therapist that will help you gain some insight into the relationship issues that are troubling you. If there is a real connection, then it won't just fade out because you're trying to make good and healthy decisions- trust in yourself to learn what's right for you.</P><br /><P>"... The plan will happen in spite of us, not because of us." Melody Beattie</P><br /><P>Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru</P><br /><P>I am an Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer at SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where our community can find one another, learn from each other, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest of discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.</P><br /><P>If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.thelesbianguru.com/</A>! Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love at <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru</A></P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/7114352" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-34021614099179356782012-08-30T09:37:00.000-07:002012-08-30T09:37:00.779-07:00<P>Most gays and lesbians would probably say something like this: Life is hard enough, why would we add more difficulties to our lives by choosing to be gay. We were born this way.</EM></P><br /><P>Even though we do not have a choice whether we are gay or not, we do have choices on how we orchestrate our lives. We choose our friends, partners, children, careers, residence, religion, fashion, cars, jewelry, and all the other stuff just like the general population. However, lesbians and gays do have some additional unique choices to make such as: when we come out, if we come out, who we come out to, being selectively out, living a dual life, or living openly out.</P><br /><P>Why is discussing choices so important? Choices are what we have in our control. The decisions made are our own. Even when we do not decide, we are actually making a decision. There are very few instances that justify being a martyr.</P><br /><P>Many gays and lesbians hold themselves hostage in the closet</EM>. The fear of being found out and the anxiety about the possible ramifications associated with being OUTED </EM>result in a self-imposed paralysis. They made the choice to hold themselves hostage; no one else caused this. The same goes for being selectively out and living a dual life (hidden at work and out socially). Once again, assumptions, fears and anxieties influence the decisions made.</P><br /><P>Discontent and dissatisfaction have been the driving forces for many changes and inventions! If gays and lesbians are unhappy with the way their lives are arranged, they have the power to do something about it. They do not have to remain dissatisfied and unhappy. Making decisions to live confidently out may not be easily accomplished, but the results could be very liberating.</P><br /><P>For instance, take a realistic situation concerning friends and family. If a gay or lesbian fears rejection by friends and family for being gay, realize that if this is true, then this is an impossible condition to change. Being gay cannot be changed by guilt. What happens next?</P><br /><P>Although we do not have the choice of selecting our family, the amount of time spent with them is our decision. For many families, it just takes time for them to get used to the fact that they have a family member who is gay. Once they realize that the same funky person that they have always known has not changed because of being gay, the awkwardness subsides.</P><br /><P>As for friends, it hurts to be rejected by them. If they cannot love us as we are, then this prejudicial information is good to know. Just like anybody else, gays do not want to be only tolerated by friends, but rather loved and accepted. For emotional and psychological reasons, it is healthier to seek out new friends who are compatible, supportive and positively fun.</P><br /><P>Ideally, choices are made to better our situations and lives. If you are feeling disjointed or exhausted by living a delicately balanced life, then pay attention to your internal symphony. It may be telling you to make a healthy decision about coming out to significant people. Coming Out may be not be as scary as you think.</P><br /><P>The choices you make will either allow you to embrace being gay or to punish yourself. You are orchestrating your life by making these key decisions. Since you do not have the choice about being gay, why not make choices that enable you to live your life to its fullest potential. Stop scaring yourself and learn to live confidently gay.</P><br /><P>Gayl Newton is a Living OUT Mentor who works with gays and lesbians on embracing who they are so they can live Confidently OUT. For more articles and coaching information, plus to receive a copy of her new ebook, "Stepping OUT" go to <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.confidentlyout.com/</A>.</P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/7075299" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-36027002090807653112012-08-29T23:33:00.000-07:002012-08-29T23:33:00.495-07:00<P>Today is the 25th anniversary of an event that few other people have experienced; and that is to the good, because every day of my life during the past 25 years has been filled with fear. Putting these feelings into words and the words on paper feels necessary; but the decision to submit for publication is extremely difficult and frightening. Will "they" be shocked? Will "they" publish? Do I really want them to? What will happen if they do? Will I lose readers and followers as I lost so many friends and the respect of family members so many years ago?</P><br /><P>That day started as so many other lovely Indiana spring days. I took my children to their piano lessons and used the wait time to deliver some papers to one of my Little League officers. I was the Little League president, but I didn't really</EM> need to deliver those papers...I just wanted to. I didn't yet realize why it was so important to me.</P><br /><P>After ringing the doorbell, an unknown woman answered the door. I suddenly felt violently ill. The woman I had actually expected to see eventually came to the door, invited me inside, and made introductions I never heard. My ears were ringing. My heart was pounding. Nausea was overwhelming me. What was I feeling and why?</P><br /><P>As I started the drive back to my children, I played the previous scene over and over in my head. What had just happened? Why was I reacting so severely? When the answer finally took form, I pulled my car to the side of the road. Then I cried, and cried, and cried. What I was experiencing was jealousy, but jealousy of what? What did it mean?</P><br /><P>Over the previous few weeks, I had spent a great deal of time with the woman I had gone to see because of Little League score-keeping for ball games. I had already known she was getting divorced and that the divorce had something to do with her interest in another woman. I had been surprised by her earlier revelation, but not repulsed. In fact, I started looking forward to the games we worked together. I started making excuses to see her.</P><br /><P>The recognition of the feeling I was experiencing as jealousy was too much to accept. How could I possibly be jealous of the affections of a woman? As a woman myself, I couldn't be jealous of another woman unless...unless I...unless I was "one of those" people.</P><br /><P>When I was young, my mother had often pointed out "those" people (always men) and told me they would go to HELL! My little brother was not allowed in a public restroom because there might be one of "those" people waiting in there to... I was never quite sure what they would do, but I definitely got the message that "those" people did bad things and would be severely punished for eternity in HELL!</P><br /><P>How could I be one of "those" people? I was 37 years old. I had a husband. I had two children about to become teenagers. I went to church every Sunday. My grandfather was a minister. This just could not be happening!</P><br /><P>For the next few weeks, I existed in a daze. I really wasn't fully aware of what was happening around me. I cried often, lost weight rapidly, and I reflected on my past. Yes, I had been the typical tomboy. I had always hated frilly dresses and I loved climbing trees. I hated playing with dolls but loved playing basketball with the boys during recess. In junior high school, I paid little attention to either the boys or the girls, but I did have a whopping crush on my P. E. teacher. Back then, I hadn't realized it was crush (and now it seems so very stereotypical) but it was crush. In high school I had a "boyfriend" who was older, and in the military (Vietnam era); and, thus, I was SAFE in the sense that I didn't have to go on dates. I <STRONG>hated</STRONG> going on dates.</P><br /><P>During college, I dated a male friend from high school; but he didn't attend my university, so again, the amount of dating was limited. I became very close friends with a freshman who lived on my floor in the dorm where I was a Student Staff. Her name was Barbara. She intrigued me because she was so different from the average "girlie" girl, and we spent a great deal of time together. We often talked for hours.</P><br /><P>Before my junior year in college, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. I didn't really want to get married, but it was what good girls were supposed to do. My family liked him and his family liked me. So I said, "Yes." Before my senior year, we got married. I cried through my entire wedding. <STRONG>Now</STRONG> I understand what those tears were about.</P><br /><P>As time passed, I continued to do what I was supposed to do. I finished my BS in Mathematics, started a teaching career, got an MA in Psychology, and started a family--boy and a girl. Life seemed perfect. When my daughter was about four years old the thought went through my head that "someday her father is going to be very upset." I didn't have the correct words to apply, but I was recognizing in her what I didn't recognize in myself.</P><br /><P>As I looked at my past, I realized that I had always been "fascinated" by female couples that I saw at the mall, that there was a girl from high school that I thought about periodically, and that I occasionally had fleeting sexual thoughts about certain women that I always quickly "shut down." ("I wonder what it would feel like to...?" or "I wish I were a man so I could...") At the time, I truly believed all women had those thoughts.</P><br /><P>Even with all that reflection, I still could not accept myself as a...dare I say it? As a Lesbian? I needed to talk to someone who might understand my confusion. All of my friends and family members were very religious people. Indeed, every person in town fit that description. There would be no understanding from anyone there. The person who finally came to mind was Barbara. She had moved to Colorado immediately after she graduated, but because she visited her parents in Indiana and generally visited us at the same time, we had stayed close. During our college days I had always believed she was a lesbian, but we had never discussed it. I knew for sure that she had a gay brother, so I felt she would listen without telling me that I was going to HELL! I called her and asked if I could visit-saying that I needed to talk.</P><br /><P>Barbara believed that I was coming to tell her that I was getting divorced. When I finally worked up the strength to tell her why I was really there, she stood up and left the room. I didn't understand. When she finally returned, she explained that exactly the same thing was happening with her in Colorado. She had left to room to ponder why I had entered her life at that specific time and to consider telling me about her own struggles. We had both found ourselves attracted to unavailable women and wondering what to do about it. As we talked, it became clear that the lesbian label was undeniable. A new life, along with its set of fears, started for both of us.</P><br /><P>We started looking for helpful information in lesbian bookstores. I hadn't known such a thing even existed. We discussed ramifications. As teachers, we were painfully aware that if anyone found out, we would lose our jobs. I had the added complications of a husband and children. Could I continue to be married and just pretend to be heterosexual? If I decided I couldn't, would my children be taken from me? At that time, lesbians were considered unfit to raise children.</P><br /><P>I returned to Indiana with very few answers. My husband took care of first question a few days after I got home. One night, after we had gone to bed, he turned to me and said, "Are you a lesbian?" I was momentarily shocked into silence. Finally I managed a shaky "Why would you ask that?" "I found this book," he answered as he pulled out my recently purchased "Our Right To Love." I thought I had so carefully hidden this book in a cabinet he never opened. I remember looking to the sky and thinking, "Thanks for your help!"</P><br /><P>I had never lied to my husband. He was my best friend. So, I told him the truth. "That depends on your definition. If you are asking if I have had sex with a woman, the answer is no. If you are asking if I now identify myself as a lesbian-a woman who prefers the companionship of a woman-then the answer is yes." To his credit, my husband was wonderful. We talked long into the night. He understood this wasn't something he could fight. We discussed options and ramifications. I told him I felt I needed to move to Colorado Springs both to be near Barb and to get away from Indiana. He initially decided to move with us and he helped us move and get established in Colorado. In the end, he decided he couldn't stay in Colorado; but I will forever be grateful for his help and support. I still wish we could have stayed best friends as he had promised.</P><br /><P>Life in Colorado has been more difficult and frightening than I had ever imagined it could be. A bitter divorce, constant financial worries, raising 2 children without their father, building a new relationship with a woman, dealing with my partner's issues surrounding childhood abuse, teaching in the environment of fear of discovery created by Focus On The Family and Amendment 2, raising a lesbian daughter, raising a teenage son in a house full of women, learning to accept myself as a lesbian, learning how to <STRONG>be</EM></STRONG> a lesbian, having no friends, and constantly fearing for the safety of all of us were just a few of the issues we faced; and all of this will be the material of another article.</P><br /><P>Initially, the decision to write and submit this article seemed very difficult; but when I think of the young people who get bullied at school, who question who they are, who get kicked out of their own homes, who feel there is no hope, and who think suicide is their only option, the correct decision is obvious. I will always feel so very sad for my students who obviously--to me--needed help but didn't get any from me due to my own fears. I still feel ashamed of myself for not being stronger then. I now understand that we must all FIGHT THE FEAR. We must do so for those who will follow us. Hopefully, someday, no one will need to live in fear for who they are!</P><br /><P>Am I afraid to hit the SUBMIT button? <STRONG>Absolutely! </STRONG>Barbara has watched me cry as I have been writing and mentally re-living it all. She just asked if I want to reconsider<STRONG>. Absolutely NOT!</STRONG> But when I ask myself why I haven't written this sooner, the answer is that I have been afraid. Why can I write it now?<STRONG> I simply must.</STRONG> One of the magazines I write for chose FEAR as the topic of the month...and, sadly, I have become an expert on fear!</P><br /><P><STRONG>NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE EVERY MOMENT IN FEAR FOR WHO THEY ARE!</STRONG></P><br /><P>Shirley Slick, "The Slick Tips Lady," generally writes about mathematics education and animal welfare/rescues. Her education website is at <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://myslicktips.com/</A>. Her animal welfare website is at <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://slicktipsaboutdogrescues.com/.</A> She is just beginning to write about gay/lesbian issues because our gay young people need to know that it will get better. They are not alone. Contact information can be found at either website.</P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/6943645" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-34621983286742975682012-08-29T10:10:00.000-07:002012-08-29T10:10:00.147-07:00<P>Lesbians, like everyone else, would like to find the perfect match. Why does this often seem like mission impossible? Why is finding Ms. Perfect such a difficult ordeal? And, why do many lesbians repeatedly attract the "wrong" people into their lives?</P><br /><P>Perhaps before heading out on the dating route again, first do an inspection; check your engine, maps, and all vital info! Are you destined to have another hellacious journey? The information I am going to suggest may throw a grenade into your game plan... You may need to deactivate whatever funky mojo magnetism you are radiating!</P><br /><P>Are you ready for this? This may be shocking news. The first thing you must do is Stop Masquerading, Stop Being Something You Are Not. Be Authentic, i.e. Be Who You Truly Are. That's it. Sounds too simple?</P><br /><P>With that said, as in almost any pursuit in life, it is helpful to know what you want so that you can determine an effective strategic plan, i.e. Who do you want to attract into your life? Even though it is imperative for you to be authentic, you may still need to do some self-improvement and tweaking.</P><br /><P>Do an inventory of qualities and characteristics you most admire in people. If you are wanting to attract someone who is sophisticated, a smart dresser, educated, physically toned and fit, and smells fabulous, are you doing what it takes to attract this person? Are you a good match for your Ms. Perfect?</P><br /><P>To get your thoughts rolling on identifying the attributes and characteristics you admire and desire, here are some possible qualities to consider: sense of humor, dependable, generous, honesty, compassionate, mature, forgiving, a good listener, patient, loving, kind, respectful, trustworthy, intelligent, open-minded, fun, not too opinionated, well-mannered, sharp appearance, gracious and appreciative, educated, professional, articulate, healthy and fit, etc.</P><br /><P>Now...Ask yourself, do you possess and mirror the qualities and characteristics you value and admire in others? If not, WHY do you think you will be a magnet for someone who possesses these awesome attributes? Haven't you heard of the Law of Attraction?</P><br /><P>Before you have another nightmarish encounter, do a self-assessment. A gap analysis may be just the ticket. Get a sheet of paper and list all those attributes and qualities you desire and admire. Be honest. Is there a gap between who you are and what you are looking for in Ms. Perfect? Describe how the reality of your life differs from your ideal existence regarding these qualities.</P><br /><P>Begin focusing on the qualities worth incorporating in your life. Develop specific goals directed towards closing the gap. Design an action plan per goal. Make the action steps attainable and realistic. Have a coach or friend hold you accountable to your commitments. Achieve results!</P><br /><P>The point is, be the same caliber of person you want to attract. Respect yourself enough to work at being that person. Don't you think it is awe-inspiring to know that you are destined to be someone's Ms. Perfect. Take action NOW!</P><br /><P>Gayl Newton is a Living OUT Mentor who works with gays and lesbians to help them embrace who they are and live with confidence. For more articles and coaching information go to <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.confidentlyout.com/</A>.</P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/6921815" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-60741900053692343302012-08-28T19:10:00.000-07:002012-08-28T19:10:00.508-07:00 <P>First let me say I'm not personally invested in the issue, being neither gay nor married. But having been blessed with a wide range of super-powers, I've feel it's my duty to come to the aid of my fellow human beings in their hour of need.</P><P>Not long ago, when class warfare broke out between the job creators and the working poor over taxes, I took a momentary break from being one of America's favorite authors and worked out a solution, then forwarded it to New York Senator Charles Schumer via e-mail.</P><P>Although I received no thanks, recognition or parade in my honor, several weeks later President Obama brought up a proposal virtually identical to mine before Congress.</P><P>I still think a parade would have been nice.</P><P>So anyway, with this gay marriage issue polarizing this country, I've come up with a plan to fix it.</P><P>So here we go.</P><P>The issue is that the gay community wants to marry in the same manner as heterosexual couples and receive all the advantages and disadvantages that go with it.</P><P>Seems like a reasonable request.</P><P>However, the fact that more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce is like demanding the right to fly on an airline that crashes and burns every other time it take to the air. So it's obvious the problem has nothing to do with the sex of the people wanting to marry, it's with the institution itself.</P><P>What's wrong with marriage?</P><P>Everything.</P><P>Since time began marriage has been a religious ceremony. That's right, RELIGIOUS. Which means the state has no legal right to perform the service as it is a clear violation of the separation of church and state.</P><P>Second, modern day divorce laws are outdated, misogynistic, and seriously biased based on gender specific profiles that never had any scientific evidence to support them For example, women are almost automatically awarded custody of the children, yet there is no proof whatsoever that women are better able to raise children than men. Alimony was created to keep the ex-wife, (who, in the old days, was rarely educated or taught marketable skills) from starving and becoming homeless. Today more women graduate from medical school than men. Also needing to be scrapped is the old 'maintaining a life style to which one has become accustomed.'</P><P>Seriously?</P><P>Ever lose a high paying job and were unable to secure another with the same perks and pay scale? Was your former employer under any obligation to continue paying you that high salary until you got a new job? Ask any person over 40 working a fast food joint about that, odds are they'll have a tale that will send chills down your spine.</P><P>What we need to do is scrap the entire process and start from scratch.</P><P>Here's how it should be done.</P><P>The state discontinues performing marriages. Instead offers only co-habitation contracts to all couples, regardless of gender, wanting the advantages the former marriage agreement provided.</P><P>In those contracts, specific terms, conditions and personal responsibilities are laid out beforehand. Additions or subtractions could be inserted (similar to a pre-nup) according to the couples wishes. Then once the terms are agreed upon the co-hab contract would be registered with the state in the same manner former marriages were. At that point the couple would be allowed to check the 'Married" box on any legal form, tax form or job application and received the same benefits awarded to any religiously married couple. (Those who opt to be married in a religious ceremony would also have to apply for and receive a state approved co-habitation contract before being awarded that legal privilege.)</P><P>This way marriage gets redefined as a legal arrangement that provides the same benefits to all involved.</P><P>Seriously, a guy wearing a pointy hat, yarmulke or turban telling you in a loosely worded ceremony that you are now joined in matrimony dies not a legally binding agreement make.</P><P>Going this route solves two problems. One, everyone gets equal treatment under the law and race, gender, religion are no longer factors. Two, any religious institution willing to marry same sex couples could do so and those whose religious tenets prohibit it would be exempt without penalty.</P><P>This could be easily adopted by all 50 states, streamline the rights of all co-habituating couples and jettison the religious aspect without changing or involving the state in any of their rules and regulations. In fact, this process could easily be adopted by the entire world!</P><P>And if it is, well... All I can say is that there damn well better be a Zackary Richards float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade that year!</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/7068939" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-25906204743334671072012-08-28T08:38:00.000-07:002012-08-28T08:38:00.573-07:00<P>Geoff Pullum, a statistician reported that "The genius of English is the way it updates itself every day, with 20,000 new words a year". Amazing the power of a creative mind, yet so often people use language in a cruel and unusual way. Words most definitely can be as painful as receiving a physical beating; I cannot count how many times I felt bruised from the inside out, from words said to me.</P><br /><P>Recently, someone I loved for almost half my life said to me that I was a "fake gay", a fraud, a "disgrace and disgusting person". She explained in depth and without remorse that individuals that come out later in life or do not say anything prior to entering adolescences cannot claim themselves as being gay.</P><br /><P>Apparently, for those of us who were able to verbalize our sexuality as a teenager are much more believable as being gay, and therefore have no choice but be that way. The rest of us, well we choose to be gay either because we hate men, have been abused or have pedophile tendencies (yes, sadly I was told that this is why I am gay!).</P><br /><P>Now I know that none of this is true, and I am secure enough in my identity that all this crap means very little to me; however, it still hurts. Mostly because if this was said to me earlier on in my coming out, I may have gone into a major depression, and isolated confused and hurt. But also, because I realized that as much as you love someone and live to your truest intentions, people's ignorance and hatred for what is different will come out, sometimes with a new and degrading label.</P><br /><P>"Fake" a term used to describe when something is not real or that it is false. It's true a lot of people were shocked when I came out, as usual I did it in the most awkward and social questionable way. I am not a very eloquent person; in fact, I am the complete opposite when it comes to social situations and people. I began saying things, which suggested that I was in a relationship with a woman, and I sent a mass email out (which I do not suggest in hindsight). So people were shocked, and yes they had questions and doubts.</P><br /><P>All I knew for the first time in my life was that I felt free or happy for the first time. All of the energy I had spent reading social cues, doing what was expected, feeling lost, and absolutely confused and avoidant of others had ended. I tried to explain to people that for some individuals the answers are not within our reach, and that coming out is a process. There are things that went on in my head in childhood and adolescences, thoughts and fantasies, which no one could have ever imagined. After all, who are you going to tell when you're in a relationship with a boy, but looking at their sister wondering what it would be like to hold her hand or the "strange" feelings you have for our best friend.</P><br /><P>I lost my virginity to a girl when I was still a young teen. I told my mom, who eased my sexual confusion by telling me I was simply experimenting and it was normal. But the next person to ever hear about it again was six years later, when I was drunk. For six years I held that secret inside, I could not tell anyone. I was told that homosexuals all had AIDS, and go straight to hell. I was not about to have my world, my friends think that of me.</P><br /><P>Coming out is something that never ends, we are constantly evolving and having to come to an understanding of who we were; what we have become; and where we want to be. I have made many, really millions of mistakes along the way, but my intentions were to live honestly and openly with what I felt inside. Unfortunately, I was not always able to clearly express that to others- I think that makes people feel betrayed because they wonder what was happening in those moments, when we were so quiet.</P><br /><P>I do not hate men, I never have, I have never been sexually assaulted, nor do I have any feeling or thoughts of an inappropriate age group of individuals. I am simply a woman who dated men, had a child, and through that journey had a weight on my shoulder I could not explain- had no model to compare it too- and found someone who brought light into a very dark place, and she happened to be a woman.</P><br /><P>The intensity of the love that I have with women is not comparable to which I have had with men. I am not dismissing those relationships because I did love them- it is just not the same. I could not imagine not having or being forbidden to have that connection with another woman- it's magical. I am not about to erase my past, it's my past, and the people who were there that made me who I am today- I very open, happy, determine, and still a socially awkward person. I am grateful for my past connections, I was given so much.</P><br /><P>Being labeled a "fake" gay has forced me to realize that coming out can hurt our social surroundings, our people, just as much as it is painful for us. I am sure that they are female friends of mine who wonder if I ever looked at them sexually, had any secret crushes, and men who feel betrayed and played. I do not blame them; I would wonder the same things, with the same amount of betrayal. There is just no right procedure to find out who you are Gay, Bi, Trans, or Straight; it's a murky messy journey for all of us.</P><br /><P>My only hope is that with the world changing, and our endless attempts to educate others on the difficulties and challenges of coming out, more people will feel safe and find answers without the struggles and betrayal experienced by so many others. Making the world safe for LBTQ people means fewer roads need to be paved with pain, for all of us.</P><br /><P>I am a Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find one another, learn from each other, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.</P><br /><P>If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://thelesbianguru.com/</A>! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru</A></P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/7082576" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-63608175885330649992012-08-27T19:58:00.000-07:002012-08-27T19:58:00.610-07:00 <P>There is a lot of noise around the issue of gay marriages and when I read a number of prominent comments by religious leaders I felt that their description and understanding of gay relationships do not deserve comments such as: "gay relationships are wrong because are not creative" or gay relationships are just "profound friendships."</P><P>When I reflect on such statements, and associate my observations and actual experiences in my clinical practise, such definitions really fail to capture the true essence of human nature.</P><P>Research indicates that more than two million homosexual or bisexual people are or have been married to heterosexual partners. However approximately 85% of these couples end in divorce, while the remaining 15 % continue their marriage but most often with some other agreed "arrangement". While some spouses are left by their partners after they come out it is usually straight wives, not straight husbands, who end their marriage. Many gay or bisexual husbands don't want to leave because they still 'love' their wives, fear rejection from their children (if any) or wants the marriage to 'cover' them from the communities moral judgement. Rarely does a gay husband choose not to act out his gay interests on defence to his wife's needs. An exceptional book by Schaar Gochros called 'When Husbands Come Out of the Closet', provides ways for couples to understand and support each other.</P><P>A factual understanding of sexual orientation is an important task in therapy for restoring facts from myths and help spouses to let go of their secret and loneliness so that they can their relieve anxiety and accumulate a perspective of their own sexuality. As straight spouses try to sort out angry, hurt and anxious feelings, it becomes also imperative to understand the meaning of bisexuality and homosexuality on a practical level. Many wonder if their partner's sexuality is permanently lost and mourn about a loss of a 'faulty' damaged sexuality, others they blame their lack of judgement and their bad choice. Preoccupied with their own anxiety, confusion and pain many partners are not able to understand the other side of the closet, which, is subsequently the same pain their partners had experienced in their marriage.</P><P>Working out a viable alternative to the conventional marriage is a painful process. Rewriting marital rules entails solitude and freezing up emotion, a process for getting in touch with buried feelings and gain the perspective needed to move forward. The partner's sexuality in the totality of its physical, emotional and spiritual aspects is no longer exclusive to the marriage. Gradually many wives feel jealousy or resentful towards this double life while others are 'stuck' because of their fear of the unknown or guilt of failing. Before stress becomes self-destructive, it is important for the spouse to seek a therapist's help. Once the secrecy issues are resolved the therapist role is to help the spouses rebuild their moral codes on integrity and help them to regain the moral strength to be true to themselves. Reconstructing a moral value is a challenging engagement with a person's deeply rooted values but also some spouses fear that shaping a new moral code will endanger their friends support. Spouses need to have the necessary openness and courage to explore the idea that homosexuality is a natural sexual variation, a position that contradicts Judeo-Christian and other religious convictions. A knowledgeable therapist can guide the spouse in resolving conflicting feelings and arranging priorities and responsibilities. The acceptance of negative feelings is part of a healthy process and appropriate reaction to the situation and joint counselling can help to clarify issues and create awareness of relationship responsibilities. Many spouses may be overwhelmed with anger and hurt at the destruction of their monogamous relationships. At the same time, unravelling the differences between the partner's sexual orientation and the spouse's heterosexuality becomes painfully clear. The threat of HIV also poses more anxiety and anger. If the spouses have children then another complicated challenge is emerging on how to handle their children so that gay-related stress becomes grist for growth rather than trauma. Depending on the communities attitudes the children will experience analogous discomfort and anxiety. Children are also affected by how their parents, siblings and family members or close friends handle their parent's coming out- all within the context of attitudes of neighbourhood, school and community. Children's reactions to their parents' disclosure are often noted as a constant flux, shifting from shock, anger and distrust to relief and empathy. In more tolerable societies, as reported by documentaries such as "Not All Parents Are Straight", children of gay and lesbians parents do not perceive it as a negative factor in their lives. However that depends on a number of variables. More importantly is how the parent's coming out conflict is resolved without the straight parent engaging their own children against the gay parent. The straight parent's perception towards the gay parent is pivotal in the way children can come to terms with their parents' sexuality and separation. It is also documented a prevailing strong attitude by straight spouses on excluding their homosexual partner's from their children's lives on the grounds of immoral behaviour.</P><P>Helping children cope with homophobia is another complicated issue especially when their classmates teasing becomes bullying, thus, adding to the children's emotional turmoil. When contemplating 'going public' parents need to consider the level of intolerance on the community and more importantly the level of risk that their children could be placed e.g., taunted from their school peers. The social stigma attached to homosexuality is now attached to the child as well as to their parent. The risk of the children to withdraw from others can impact their developmental relationships and intimacy with others. Isolation cuts teenagers off from peer support just at the time when friends are so important for identity and independence.</P><P>The meaning of family to any child is of paramount importance. Parents are the single most powerful, nonbiological influence on their children's lives. For children who become pawns in their parents' divorce raises their fears of abandonment, insecurity, distrust and conflicting loyalties. The outcome of a relationship constructed on moral judgement and the 'hope that no one will find out' can inflict so much pain to self and significant others. Divorce removes the stable home which is the cornerstone of a child's safety net and the embryonic stage for self-esteem and independence. As a result and as reported in Adult Children of Divorce Speak out, a child's self concept, trust, confidence and ability to relate to others is traumatized. The parent's gayness often becomes the scapegoat for the chaos resulting in divorce. Stereotypical thinking on the part of therapists can result against the parents and children's well being. It is also documented that in most cases gay fathers struggle to keep contact with their children because of negative attitudes toward their orientation. As the pathways of life changes for both parents the new partners of either parent add another threat to the child-parent relationship.</P><P>The therapists when encountering the 'pornography of marriage' have to work on spouses issues such as, letting go of the past, learning to forgive, coming to terms with loss, reformulating a new meaning in life, changing a belief system, creating hope and optimism and taking steps to connect with the true self.</P><P>To formulate public policy we need to understand society's needs for stability and well being by allowing and accepting alternative marriage and family arrangements. The diversity of sexual orientation is part of the Darwinian natural order and the need for leaders and legislators to understand the full range of the aforementioned issues can end ignorance, prejudice and family suffering. Authenticity, honesty and responsibility can become the cornerstones of social relations and can help communities to transform and move beyond a closet mentality into an inclusive society.</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/6952188" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-67871975153177800132012-08-27T08:45:00.000-07:002012-08-27T08:45:00.930-07:00<P>As many gay singles looking for dating experiences know, conventional society can often be less than helpful when it comes to helping homosexuals find lasting relationships. Since intolerance and homophobia can still spring up even in modern society, those seeking soulmates in the same sex are trying to make things easier on themselves in terms of their love lives by turning to genuine platforms that facilitate gay dating.</P><br /><P>Most would agree that this hardly does the gay community justice and may not be enough for gay men and women to really make any kind of headway in finding that Mr or Mrs Right. That is why there has been a recent advent of gay dating services that are more geared towards same-sex unions, which have helped many gay singles on the gay dating scene.</P><br /><P>An obvious solution can be found in services that cater to those who are not part of the heterosexual dating scene, and hence are not lumped together and made to go through needless hoops because of their status as a minority group, at least from the perspective of many people in the dating world.</P><br /><P>Because homophobia and prejudiced attitudes are still more common than many may think, gay dating options for singles may be harder to come by, at least when it comes to actually finding a soulmate of the same sex. This is changing as more and more people in the gay community start to collaborate on projects that can make gay dating easier. To avoid all of this judgment and negative attitudes, gay men and women may find success in breaking out of their comfort zone and trying something less conventional, at least from the conventional dating standpoint.</P><br /><P>Since most, if not all users will identify as gay, it can reduce the needed profile searching by a massive amount, and just leave the precise specifications that each participant puts into the online system and then gives back results based on even narrower criteria. This is a new popular aspect of the Internet which allows higher- precision searches and matches, which works great for sites that cater to the needs of singles who are interested in gay dating. Because of the specific search and narrowing down the search its really helpful to the users. It is gaining momentum as more and more gay singles are looking out and reaching out to such sites over the internet for dating.</P><br /><P><A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Gaysoulmate.com</A> is a leading premier site for gay dating. Site specially designed for the gay singles. Visit and access thousands of profiles.</P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/6861074" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-23383954256970685712012-08-26T17:51:00.000-07:002012-08-26T17:51:00.208-07:00 <P>Do you wonder if he the right guy for you? Are you afraid to commit to him in case a better guy comes along? Are you unhappy because of how uncertain you sometimes feel about your guy? Then the following 3 keys will help you unlock your happiness and determine if he is the right guy for you.</P><P><B>Key 1 is the "must haves".</B> The 1st key is to decide what it is that the right guy MUST have. What is not negotiable for you so that a guy who doesn't have it cannot be the right guy for you? Take a pen and paper and write down all the things that the right guy <B>MUST</B> has. And look at the man in totality from his physical attributes (height, build, skin color, eye color, hair length and type or none, tattoos, body piercings etc); his personal style (laid back and easy going, serious achiever type, how he dresses, what he spends his money on, what he does in his free time, what he eats or doesn't eat, his grooming, his hobbies or interest, how he spends his holidays etc); and his attitude towards other people (his faith, how he interacts with others in his life, how honest he is, his relationship with alcohol or other drugs etc).</P><P><B>Key 2 is the "could-haves".</B> The 2nd key to deciding if he is the right guy is determining the things in him that you can live without. You know those things that it would be nice if he had it but if he has ALL the essentials then he doesn't necessarily have to have this particular thing. Remember that no man is perfect and so you must now decide the traits that would be nice if he had them... but if he doesn't have them you can live with it. He may not be as tall as you would like but you can live happily with a shorter man who has your must-have characteristics.</P><P><B>Key 3 is the "shouldn't-haves".</B>The 3rd Key to help you decide if he is the right guy for you is the things you cannot have in a man... you will not compromise on these and any man with these cannot be the right guy for you. Maybe you dislike men who pierce their nose or a man who has been in prison or a man who has been violent with others or a man who is in his 3rd or 4th marriage etc. Continue writing and note the things you absolutely cannot have in the right guy.</P><P>As you have been writing down, has what you want in the right guy become surprisingly clear? These are the 3 keys to deciding on if he is the right guy.</P><P>For a guide that will walk you through a comprehensive process on how to determine if he is the right guy I would recommend this ideal man & relationship manual so that you can get the right man and thus your ideal relationship but if you just want additional pointers on the right guy then use these clues on finding the right guy.</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/7150522" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-21113714061105793312012-08-26T04:22:00.000-07:002012-08-26T04:22:00.439-07:00<P><STRONG>How to Make a Good Impression</STRONG></P><br /><P>How was your last date? Did you make a good impression? There are ways that you can leave a lasting impression to make sure that they will remember you. Here are some examples.</P><br /><P>Answering machines give you a great opportunity to be remembered and I'll bet 99.9% of the people who leave messages leave a fairly routine message: "Hi, this is Lisa. Give me a call when you get in. Bye. " If this person forgets to call Lisa, it's no surprise.</P><br /><P>You are more likely to be remembered if you leave the following message. "Hi, Christine, this is Tony, Tony, you remember, Tony Moore. We met on Saturday. Aw, come on Christine, don't do this to me. You remember me, don't you? Well, anyway, I have an urgent message for you. I think it's urgent that you and I go out together. Now, if you agree, call 702-DATE TONY. There will be a charge of $3.00 for the first minute and $2.00 for every additional minute. Well, if you don't want to do that, you can call me at my home number which is (your telephone number) "</P><br /><P>"Unacceptable excuses for not going out with me are, 'I already have a boyfriend, I've just been transferred to New Zealand', or any excuse having to do with your hair. The only acceptable excuse is, 'my ex-husband is wanted by the CIA.' So, assuming that none of the previous excuses are in the way, I'll look forward to hearing from you."</P><br /><P>Now there should be totally no doubt in your mind that this message got an answer. You will get a call from this woman within hours. The message made an impression and she'll probably remember that one forever. Think about everything you do on a date, every step of the way. How can you change each one of those steps?</P><br /><P>When a person is in a bar or a restaurant and they see someone they'd like to meet, what do they often do? They have a drink sent over to them. Sure, that works but it's routine. Instead of a drink, send over a dish of coleslaw or a bagel or dessert. What's that you say? That sounds silly! Sure, it's silly. You want to be remembered, you want to let this person know that you're not going to be a typical, average person or a typical average date.</P><br /><P>As I've said before, don't go to dinner and a movie on the first date because it's just plain boring. Whether you're a man or woman, suggest something other than dinner and a movie for the first date. Suggest the street fair going on or a comedy club.</P><br /><P><STRONG>Create Intrigue</STRONG></P><br /><P>After the date, there's a lot you can do to be remembered. Call the person the next day and leave a message. Say something like, " I had a great time last night and when I talk to you next time I have to tell you the best part of the date."</P><br /><P>One of the greatest of all human nature is curiosity. Use it to your benefit and if you got that message on your answering machine, wouldn't you want to call to find out the best part of that date? Of course you would.</P><br /><P>As your relationship moves on, send a card, sign it and write "There's one thing about you that drives me absolutely wild." Don't tell them what that one thing is until they call you. You've just used two great techniques. You've played on the person's curiosity and you've also made that person feel great. "So, there's one thing about me that drives him or her wild?"</P><br /><P>I knew someone who leaves some of the greatest answering machine messages ever. He'll call and instead of just leaving his name and the time he called, he'll say something like "For details on how to make $30,000 by this Friday, call ****" or "To find out why gorillas have large nostrils, call ****" and then he leaves his number. He always has more information about the idea he left on my machine, though. So, if he said "For details on how to make $30,000 by this Friday", he'll tell me about some great new business idea he's come up with.</P><br /><P>You can do the same thing when you leave messages. Instead of saying: "Hi, this is Tony, call me back." You can say, "For information on the hottest new show in town, call **** ". When she calls, it's a breeze to suggest going to this hot new show in town or you can say "For information on how you can savor the foods of over 20 different countries in just one hour, call ****". You can then suggest that the two of you go to the food festival that's being held in the next town. How about saying "To find out how to get the best back rub in town call **** ". Now, that's a natural Get the idea?</P><br /><P>To get a free book on how to be outrageously successful with the opposite sex visit <BR><A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://best-date-ideas.com/squeeze.html</A></P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/7159124" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-91356248331331169772012-08-25T17:14:00.000-07:002012-08-25T17:14:00.488-07:00<P>A huge percentage of people in their 30s have been divorced or never been married. This is when they want to settle down with their true love and have kids. Many of them have broken-hearts from a cheating spouse which makes it hard for them to find love worried it will happen again.</P><br /><P>They don't want to spend the rest of their life alone and they realize their time clock is ticking. They wonder how to meet the right one at this age in their life. They hear about online dating sites but are fearful they'll be rejected or let down when they meet the person they perceive to be the one they want.</P><br /><P>Most have never found true love and the saying" the right one is out there waiting" is so true. Most of us get impatient especially women and don't take the time to know someone before taking the giant leap into marriage. They decide to give this dating thing a try and hope for the best, so they join a good dating site that shows genuine interest in their clients.</P><br /><P>The first thing you need to do is take your time putting a good profile together. Think about the type of person you want and specify it. Include some nice photos of yourself and write a great description. Be truthful about everything. Do not lie about your age, kids, or send in photos that are ten years old. They must be current.</P><br /><P>Remember, you are going to meet someone in person so you want them to see the real you. Add your hobbies and interests. Keep your personal information and finances to yourself. When you are matched up with a good compatible person, it's time for your first date. It may take more than one date to know if they're the one.</P><br /><P>Wear clothes that make your skin, hair and eyes stand out and no outlandish jewelry. Write down questions to ask your date and don't get to personal. The first date is just to see if you like someone, so keep it short. If you both like each other than you can go on more dates and get to know each other.</P><br /><P>By going to a speed dating event in your area, will speed up the process. You can meet several different dates in one evening. It's a great way to find your true love. The biggest mistake is throwing yourself in a relationship to quickly so therefore If you want to meet the right one you must take your time.</P><br /><P>If you feel this person is the right one for you, take your time in the relationship. Listen to what they say and if they call you every night, and want to be with you all the time, then they probably have romantic feelings for you</P><br /><P>If you are a Tampa single looking for a relationship, tired of the dating games, tired of online dating and/or tired of blind dates, let's talk. My Tampa Dating is a dating site designed to incorporate personalized service with match making, singles events, speed dating, background checks and a staff that really cares about its members.</P><br /><P>We have no sales reps and part-time match makers. We have no telemarketers and part-time employees who constantly turn over. Our personalized approach allows us to get to know each member personally. Go to: <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.mytampadating.com/</A></P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/7152726" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-91909556300520499112012-08-25T02:40:00.000-07:002012-08-25T02:40:00.466-07:00 <P>When you engage in online or offline dating, you are looking for someone who complements your life. You want someone to share in life's experiences, someone to laugh, love and feel with and someone to be there when you need them most. When you find that person, you know it almost right away. You can't get that person out of your mind, every thought seems to involve that person and you almost find yourself counting the minutes until you can see, smell, feel, hear and touch that person again. This the perfect match. Unfortunately, you're not always going to meet the perfect match. Sometimes you'll almost feel a connection with someone but your feelings will be a little off. This is usually what happens when you start dating someone and the only reason they're dating you is because they're so darned lonely.</P><P><STRONG>Lonely Daters</STRONG></P><P>It's important to recognize the lonesome dater. This person is the person who spends all day wondering why nobody wants to be with them. The person is usually feeling down about a recent breakup, divorce or loss of a spouse and the entire world has a hazy shade of gray. The lonely dater is typically depressed and thinks that a true love match will turn everything around.</P><P>This is not to say that you can't succeed with this type of dater. It's just that usually the lonely dater is so focused on him or herself that your future dates and relationship are also likely to be as one-sided. The lonesome dater is selfish for the most part and has very low self-esteem. While the potential to help the person see how great they are does exist, wouldn't you rather meet someone who already has their business together?</P><P>Here are the top signs that the person you're dating is a lonely dater.</P><STRONG>Recent Breakup:</STRONG> If the person just got out of a relationship for whatever reason, they're likely not ready to date yet. People need proper time to grieve and situate themselves following a major life change and these daters merely want to jump from one relationship right into the next, often with disastrous results.<BR><STRONG>No Hobbies Or Interests: </STRONG>The dater who is really lonely doesn't have time for hobbies or other interests. They're too busy Googling reasons why nobody wants to be with them. These individuals obsess over their faults and are so down that no hobbies or interests sound appealing anyway.<BR><STRONG>Co-Dependent Behavior:</STRONG> If the person is constantly calling or texting and wants to be with you every waking minute, you're likely dealing with a lonesome dater. It's best to tell the person you need some space. If your date doesn't understand and it starts a fight, you'll definitely know why.<P>Again, you can find happiness with a lonely dater. Some people just need a new situation to break them out of whatever low pattern they've found themselves in. On the other hand, it's important to be able to recognize the signs early in case you want to stay away from any drama the lonely dater may present in the future.</P><P>Maybe even lonely daters will like the new dating phenomenon known as Pheromone dating. Say what?</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/7147715" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-43783779940968719792012-08-24T11:44:00.000-07:002012-08-24T11:44:00.723-07:00 <P>One of the things that I don't like to hear is when a guy makes a statement alluding to the fact that he thinks that he really doesn't have a chance of being able to get a girlfriend. When a guy says something to that effect, you know that he has pretty much given up on any hope of being able to attract the right woman. Even if you think that you really don't have much of a chance of being able to attract the right woman, you should know that you can get a girlfriend if you really put your mind to it.</P><P>Feeling as though you don't stand a chance when it comes to attracting a woman is one of the worst feelings that a guy can have. It takes away a lot of the drive that you have to really live life to the fullest and that's a shame. However, with the right advice, you should be able to see that it's not really that hard at all to get a girlfriend and that you can even have pretty high standards and still end up making a woman want to date you.</P><P>Here is some advice on what you should do if you want to have a girlfriend but you feel like you don't stand a chance:</P><P>1) The first thing that you need to do is to see yourself in your mind's eye being able to attract the right woman.</P><P>Even though I don't really like most of the "self help" advice that is out there, this is one thing that really does seem to have a positive effect. When you can actually picture yourself in your own mind being able to attract the right woman, you should feel a change inside of you where you finally begin to feel like you might be able to make it happen after all.</P><P>2) The second thing that you should do is to develop an idea of what kind of woman you want to be with.</P><P>There is no use in trying to attract a girlfriend if you don't have nay idea at all about what kind of woman you want to be with. You need to be able to narrow things down to where you do have a pretty good idea of what kind of woman you want to spend your time with so that you can recognize her when you meet her.</P><P>3) The third thing that you should try to do is to understand just how attraction works.</P><P>Many guys have this false impression of how attraction works. They believe that the nicer they are, the more attractive that they will be. While it is a good idea to be nice, it's not the one thing that is going to make you appear more attractive to women. You have to know how to put out the right vibe as well as how to make a woman feel like she wants to be with you. Most nice guys have trouble with this, and that's why it always seems like the bad boys are the ones that end up getting the girl.</P><P>When you know how to make a woman want you, getting a girlfriend is pretty easy.</P><P>Go to: Underground Seduction Secrets to Get Your FREE Report on How to Approach, Attract, and Seduce ANY Woman You DESIRE...</P><P>Copyright © 2012 Chris G. Tyler All Rights Reserved.</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/7147201" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-27713672461621891142012-08-23T22:47:00.000-07:002012-08-23T22:47:00.206-07:00<P>Friendship is a clean relationship, which is free from all forms of selfishness. This is such a garden in which only flowers of trust, and happiness, bloom. But, sometimes, in this garden, some gusts of wind come which put a woman in difficult situations.</P><br /><P>When a woman does friendship with a man, she doesn't understand that what kind of expectations she should expect from him. Therefore, she keeps asking herself the question, "Does he like me more than a friend?"</P><br /><P>In the friendship of women and men, it's very likely that the relationship of love and longing will be formed. However, the biggest concern is that, you can expect the wrong expectations in your friendship, and it can be very dangerous. If you feel that, he likes you more than a friend, then you should know about those signs because of which you can find the answers for your question.</P><br /><P>It's not very easy to judge the feelings of men. Men are expert in hiding their feelings. They are feared about this thing that, if they will express their feelings in front of their female friend then there will be no way to return; they would break their friendship. It's not acceptable for men to remain the friend of their female friend after disclosing their heart's feelings. They know that, once they opened their hearts, they'll have only one option. Either they will become the life partner of their female friend, or they will have to end their friendship. Because of these reasons, a man always chooses the third option. He doesn't express his feelings. He spends the time in the hope that he'll open his heart in front of his female friend at some good time. Or, he waits to get some good signs of affection from his friend so that he can express his feelings of love to her.</P><br /><P>Because of men's this mentality, a woman faces many problems in the friendship. She doesn't understand that whether he likes her or not. If you are also in those women for whom this question is very important, then I have arranged some best ways for you, because of which, it will be very easy for you to understand the feelings of men. If your male friend is shy, even then, these ways will be very helpful for you. Because, I am sharing these special ways after studying the psychology of men.</P><br /><P><STRONG>1. He Doesn't Notice Other Women</STRONG></P><br /><P>If your friend likes you, then he'll never notice other women. He might notice other women for teasing you, or just for fun, but he'll keep obvious to you that he's single. He'll keep his door of love open for you. He knows that if he'll associate himself with some other woman, then there would be no chances for him to make you his lover.</P><br /><P>Therefore, he'll keep obvious that he's single, and he'll make you realize about it again and again. He'll again and again ask questions about your relationship status, and he'll also often discuss about your future goals and plans.</P><br /><P>If your male friend already has a girlfriend, and if he likes you, he'll still often discuss about your relationship status. Moreover, he would speak about his relationship's problems - especially with you. And, he'll explore the opportunities to find your signs of affection for him so that he can leave his current girlfriend and make you his new lover/girlfriend/wife.</P><br /><P><STRONG>2. He Supports You and Your Choices</STRONG></P><br /><P>It is that point which creates a lot of troubles in the friendship, and makes hearts grieve. Because of this point, either you can get your love, or you can miss your love forever. Here I give you an example that will make you realize the importance of this point.</P><br /><P>If you want to check the feelings of your male friend, and you say to him that you like some other man, then he will support you and your choice. He would not stop you from going to someone else, because he's waiting for your signs of affection. He knows that if he expresses his feelings, or if he stops you from going to someone else, then nothing but the disgrace will come into his hands. And, he'll destroy his friendship with you too. So, he doesn't dare to tell you his feelings.</P><br /><P>He'll appear very happy for you... Now, it's a different thing that a storm of tears would be roaring in his heart.</P><br /><P>Here is another thing to consider which you should understand, when you test his feelings for you by saying, you like some other man, then, in a way, you prove to him that now you cannot be loyal with him, because you have given your heart to someone else. After giving these types of feeling to your friend, how can you expect that he'll share his feelings of love with you? Of course, he'll support you and your choice.</P><br /><P><STRONG>3. Little Things Mean A Lot</STRONG></P><br /><P>When a man likes some woman, he remembers every small thing about her and tries to keep her happy. For example: If you love to have your favorite chocolate, then he often brings your favorite chocolate in order to make you happy. He takes you to your favorite places. He gives you your favorite things in the gifts and takes care of your every small desire. Besides, he remembers every little thing you say to him.</P><br /><P>If your male friend gives you these kinds of small happiness, then you don't need to ask yourself, "Does he like me more than a friend?" Because, he obviously likes you more than a friend.</P><br /><P>If you want to make your man worship you, Read Bill Hamilton's blog at: <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.beingelite.com/blog.html</A>His work influences you to become a 'Desirable Woman' to be around.</P><br /><P>He loves coming up with new ideas and figuring out how to apply them; He also works with individuals, couples, and entrepreneurs to help them accomplish their ambitions. You can read his blog at:<A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.beingelite.com/blog.html</A></P><br /><P>According to Bill Hamilton, "Brilliant books always lead to a wonderful life."</P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/7162209" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-86078947887501393932012-08-23T08:39:00.000-07:002012-08-23T08:39:00.738-07:00<P>Who else is cynical when it comes to online dating sites? Are you silently and secretly SICK of being single... but having a hard time making the leap of faith to joining an online dating site? If you said YES... the good news is, you are NOT alone! As a matter of fact, in a widely cited survey published in late 2011, about 30% of people who join online dating sites are still too embarrassed to tell their friends, family or co-workers.</P><br /><P>(Quick TIP - if you are one of these people, do NOT put on your profile "I can't believe I'm doing this"... it was cited as the biggest cliche by both sexes as well!)</P><br /><P>The bad news is, online dating is now expected to be the TOP way that couples meet by the year 2018, with all kinds of predictions being that more marriages will emanate from online encounters than those that start online, for sure.</P><br /><P>Okay, now for the good (and funny) stuff! Want to know the 3 most common "lies" or fibs people tell online, according to a survey of more than 1200 respondents AFTER the first date? Here they are... and if you've had any online dating experience yourself, I think you'll agree, these are all 100% true!</P><br /><P>Most common MALE Fib:</P><br /><P>Height! According to women who met over 600 men and compared the profile with the actual reality, men tended to add about 1.5 inches to their height when filling out an online profile. While the average height for most men on dating sites is about 5'11, and in real life... the average height is about 5'9, it's no surprise when you do the math that's something is off.</P><br /><P>The sort of funny but well thought out excuse most men made about this vertical white lie? That their dates wouldn't be able to tell their true height... simply because they could wear higher heeled shoes on the date until she noticed the truth.</P><br /><P>Most common FEMALE fib:</P><br /><P>Weight! I know, I know... many of you aren't going to like hearing it, but women traditionally described themselves as "thin" or "athletic" under the build section, when in reality, many were described by their dates as having a bit of a different body than described!</P><br /><P>Most likely to lie about appearance overall?</P><br /><P>Men! Many men were accused of using pictures that were at last 2 years (and 20 pounds) ago, with almost 7 out of 10 women reporting that their date looked better, and FAR younger online, than he did in person. Interestingly, women while women were misleading about self describing their weight, they also tended to be far more honest with pictures than men, and didn't "cherry pick" only their very best pics to post.</P><br /><P>The bottom line?</P><br /><P>Have fun! Don't over think it, worry too much or sweat it if your date doesn't arrive, exactly as described! Lots of people do the very same things... and at the end of the day, the good news is, MOST of us simply want to meet someone to love and laugh at all of this with!</P><br /><P>Amy Goldstein dispenses daily dating advice at <U><A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">JUICYJEWS.COM</A></U> ... the first and only social network and dating community dedicated to sexy semites around the world!</P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/7149852" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-8558661525120613182012-08-22T18:30:00.000-07:002012-08-22T18:30:01.228-07:00 <P>By knowing what type of text messages to send your boyfriend, husband, lover or that guy that you want to meet who doesn't seem to know you exist you can have such a unfair advantage over men and the other women who want them that you will wonder why it took you so longer to figure it out. You can have guys wanting you more than you ever thought possible. All it takes is the simple understanding of how men react to certain words and phrases. Women know that men are visually motivated. That"s why we dress the way we do. But very few women realize that the words a man sees can be very stimulating to him. Texting him can excite him to the point he cannot stop thinking of you, will do almost anything you ask and won't be able to stop thinking about you.</P><P>Many men today cannot live without their cell phones. Women are continually frustrated with men who constantly look at their cell phone, checking out the latest scores, news, email or texts instead of paying attention to them. Smart women turn his obsession with his cell phone to their advantage and use this technological wonder to arouse him in ways he didn't think possible.</P><P>Men are very visually orientated so our texts must create a mental picture in his mind. The great thing about this is that we are in complete control of how far we want to take this. We can send him a text that leaves very little to the imagination, telling him what were thinking of him, how our next encounter with him is going to go and why we need it to happen sooner rather than later. Or we can leave some things to his imagination allowing him to create his own mental fantasy of us the next time we meet.</P><P>Keep in mind be it a husband, boyfriend, lover or a one time encounter men like to make women feel good. It makes them feel like more of a man which in turns raises their self esteem when a women tells him how much he turns her on or how good he makes her feel. Don't forget the emotional as well as physical aspect to a man. Women under estimate the emotional connection men try to build with a women. It can be just as important as the physical connection although sometimes it is hard to see. Use this knowledge to your advantage.</P><P>The type of text you send a man to get his attention will depend on the kind of guy he is, how well you know him and what you're are trying to accomplish. If you are in doubt about how far to go with your texting play it safe. The curiosity factor is huge with most guys. A text from you that leaves him wondering what exactly you are saying can be very stimulating to a guy. He will spend the day trying to figure out what your text meant. And when he's thinking about your text he's also thinking about you.</P><P>Want to see how this actually works? Here are the magic words you can text to that special guy that will literally have him craving you no matter where he is or what he's doing . Make sure you know what you are doing before you attempt this. It has been proven to very effective.</P><P>Gain a unfair advantage over other women. Most women have no clue how this works. Be one of the few women that understands how to send a text to a man and get him to respond just the way you want.</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/7133916" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-19254069783343869542012-08-22T07:06:00.000-07:002012-08-22T07:06:00.315-07:00 <P>"Is getting back my ex possible?" If you just went through a break-up, this question might be at the back of your mind right now. Might as well come clean, ask the question out loud, and find out if you can get her back! To stop asking "Is getting back my ex possible" and other such questions, learn the tips in this article.</P><P>The reason many people don't know how to get their ex back because what they should be doing, is probably the exact opposite of what they are doing. First, ask yourself if you are willing to do whatever it takes to get your ex back. If your answer is yes, then keep reading.</P><P><STRONG>Tip #1 - Sometimes the "fight for what you want" approach may actually be what is pushing your ex away.</STRONG></P><P>The Truth: Never try to force someone back into your life. Your ex will never come back if they feel pressured to do so. Think about it, would you like it if someone was trying to force you into a relationship? No! So don't try to talk them into getting back with you, let things happen naturally.</P><P><STRONG>Tip #2 - Increase your chances with your ex</STRONG></P><P>Don't pester! Give them time to think about what's happening. Their was obviously some problem that caused your first break up. Let your ex take in the fact that you're trying to get back together. Do not show up at their house or call them everyday, that will just get annoying.</P><P><STRONG>Tip #3 - Don't be so available</STRONG></P><P>Playing hard to get is a good thing. Let your ex know that if he doesn't act interested, there are plenty of other guys who could have you. This will naturally make him attracted to you since people always want what they can't have.</P><P><STRONG>Tip #4 - Don't rush</STRONG></P><P>Getting back with your ex is not an easy thing to do. Take your time and make sure you have a plan before beginning. You are going to need support from your family and friends because this is not an easy thing to do.</P><P>Make sure your plan of action makes sense and that it will not get you hurt in the end. This is going to be a tricky task and every card needs to be played right.</P><P>Talk it out, but do not pressure you ex to do anything. You will both need time to think, because it is not an easy decision to make. You don't want to hurt again, so before you decide to get back with your ex, try your hardest to make it last the second time around. When you talk it out, you will continue learning through your entire dating experience.</P><P>Want to learn more about what ex-girlfriends, and women in general, want and expect from you? Then I'd love to help you!</P><P>If you are looking for a proven system to get the attention of a HOT woman fast, try Seducing Her Mind. If you're ready for a highly effective method that's different from what everyone else is teaching, then let me teach you how to Get A Hot Girlfriend Now. You don't want to miss this!</P><P>Alyssa Curtis is a top expert on dating, seduction, and female psychology. She has written numerous articles on what makes women tick.</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/7149758" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-16300956592672284442012-08-21T19:47:00.000-07:002012-08-21T19:47:00.858-07:00 <P>Do you feel that your relationship and everything you've worked so hard for is slipping out of your hands? Would you like to find out what you need to do to take back control of your relationship? Are you involved with a man who likes to be in charge and this has left you feeling powerless? The best relationships are all about give and take and there needs to be a balance if both of you are going to be happy. If your relationship is not what you'd like it to be, then maybe it's time you took back control of your relationship.</P><P><B>Why Did Things Get Out Of Hand In The First Place?</B></P><P>Before you take back some control of your relationship, you may have to take a close look at how things have gotten to where they are. Maybe you just got tired of struggling with him and thought for the sake of your relationship that it would be easier to just give in.</P><P>Perhaps you even thought that as a woman it's easier for you to live without being in charge, than it would be for him. And honestly sometimes it's just easier to let someone else make the decisions. But now you see that wasn't the wisest thing to do, so the only solution is to change things up.</P><P>It's time to own up and be honest with him. You need to let him know that you're not happy with the way things are and want things to change. Don't be surprised if he acts surprised. After all, he hasn't really changed. So you can realistically expect one of two reactions.</P><P><B>What May Happen</B></P><P>Best case scenario is that he is relieved and happy to give up some of the decision making responsibilities and share them with you. If this happens you are in a well-balanced caring relationship.</P><P>But it may not be that easy. He may even get stubborn, and if he does you may want to back off and rethink your approach because confrontation isn't going to get you anywhere fast. This is where you use your womanly ways to get your way. Start with small stuff. If you always go out for breakfast on Sunday mornings to the same restaurant with the same people, invite some new friends to join you.</P><P><B>Making The Most Of The Downtime</B></P><P>Develop a new interest, sign up for a course, or start planning a girl's night once every couple of weeks. Encourage him to get together with his friends when you're with yours, so he doesn't object to you being out. If he's having a good time when you're out, he'll be less likely to complain.</P><P>But the worst case scenario could also happen. That's where he takes a stand and refuses to budge. Either you put up with the inequalities in your relationship and let him remain in control or you break it off with him because he is not going to change to any great extent.</P><P>There has to be a healthy balance if a relationship is going to last and you may have to take back some control of your relationship to get there. But that can be harder than it looks, so if you need some support doing it, you can get it right here.</P><P>To read more about how to make a man love you, click Signs He Wants You. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man Fall in Love with you.</P><P>Kimberly White is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/7161913" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-17603007081074977612012-08-21T06:33:00.000-07:002012-08-21T06:33:00.164-07:00<P>Do you ever feel as though women are practically blind to you as if they don't notice you at all? Do you hope that one day you will be able to make women notice you because you desperately want to be able to get female attention? There are reasons for why some guys don't seem to have to work so hard to get women to pay attention to them and when you know and understand what those reasons are, you can become the kind of guy that women do notice and you don't have to feel as though they are totally blind to you.</P><br /><P>What I find to be quite true most of the time is, most men who struggle to get women to pay attention to them either put in no effort at all and kind of just expect that women are supposed to notice them, or they put in way too much effort and that winds up being the reason why they don't end up getting the kind of female attention that they really want to get.</P><br /><P>Here are some easy to follow tips on how to attract women so that you can finally feel like women are paying attention to you:</P><br /><P>1. Getting people to pay attention to you has a lot to do with the way that you present yourself.</P><br /><P>There is a reason why a guy who goes into a club dressed like a rock star gets attention, he dresses in a way that naturally attracts eyes on him. And there is a reason why guys who are super confident get noticed as well. If you are not attracting women, then there is a good chance that you are going to have to take a look at the way that you present yourself and work on making a much better impression from the get go. You may need to learn to project more confidence or you may need to change up the way that you look when you go out.</P><br /><P>2. Women also notice guys who don't seem to be nervous around women.</P><br /><P>When you are totally at ease being around females, it's going to seem a lot easier to get women to notice you. Think about it like this: if you were a woman and had the choice of giving your attention to a guy who was obviously nervous whenever he got around women or you could give that same attention to a guy who was totally at ease around women - who would you choose? I think the choice is obvious here. You need to work on feeling more comfortable around women if you want to be able to attract women.</P><br /><P>3. You also have to learn to make good conversation when you are in social situations.</P><br /><P>The quiet guy who just nods his head and doesn't say much in groups is not the one that attracts the most attention and that is something that you just have to accept. If you are going to get women to notice you, and you want to be able to attract women easily, then you have to be able to make good conversation any time that you are in a social situation. The way to get good at this is relatively straight forward. The more often that you go out and socialize, the easier it is going to be for you to speak up and have good conversations. So, get that experience that you need to have. It's going to be worth it.</P><br /><P>When you understand what it takes, it becomes pretty easy to attract women wherever you go and that can really become your experience if you choose to make it that way.</P><br /><P>Go to: <A href="http:///" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://howtoattractandseducewomen.com/</A> to learn more about what you need to do to make women want you.</P><br /><P>Copyright © 2012 Chris G. Tyler All Rights Reserved.</P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/7147259" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-48321209437106587342012-08-20T17:26:00.000-07:002012-08-20T17:26:00.415-07:00 <P>Do you like him? Do you suspect that he may also like you but is too shy or afraid to approach you? Well then you must make approaching you less threatening so as to get him to approach you. Keep in mind the fact that men function a little differently from us gals in that they are very protective of their egos... and they avoid situations where their ego may be bruised or shattered. A man will thus not get into a situation where he may be shot down or rebuffed or embarrassed. To get him to approach you then you must find a way to appear safe to him. So how can you appear safe and get him to approach you?</P><P><B>Avoid grouping together with your girlfriends! </B>Yes it may be comfortable to hang out with your girlfriends but a guy approaching you will have to impress not just you... but your girlfriends as well; an ego intimidating prospect for any man. If you do hang out with your girlfriends then find a way to keep a distance between you and them or to be a distance away from them so that you can be less threatening and more approachable.</P><P><B>Fix your face!</B> To get him to approach you then you must look appealing and approachable to him. A long unhappy face or an angry face will be like a warning sign to keep away from you. A happy open face is what you need. If you are relaxed and happy then this will show in your face... and he will be more inclined to approach you. If you are miserable and uptight then that also shows on your face... and he will want to avoid the drama and misery that your face promises him.</P><P><B>Body language!</B> Yes your body does speak... and you want it to say 'hello there!' and not 'go away I hate you!'. To get him to approach you; you need to have a good body image... you must love the body that you've been given. Your body may not be the best body in the world but you need to make peace with its shortcomings and love it. Take care of what you can (exercise, hair cut, grooming, makeup etc) and make peace with all that it is... and love its uniqueness! Stand straight, look ahead of you (not studying the floor)... and smile often for your instant more approachable makeover.</P><P>You must make approaching you as threat free as possible to the guy you are interested in.</P><P>For a manual to help you move all the way from hello to boyfriend with a man that is excited and enthralled by you then I recommend this relationship manual to help you navigate relationship mistakes that abort your relationship or make it harder that it should be but if you want additional help on being the attractive woman that you are then use the desirable woman pointers.</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/7154723" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-17160020555162372212012-08-20T05:57:00.000-07:002012-08-20T05:57:00.139-07:00 <P>Want him to fall for you? Worried that letting him know how much you care will scare him away? Wondering if you're doing something wrong and don't know it? If you want him to fall for you, then learn to avoid this quick list of silly dating mistakes!</P><P>First of all, you need to be equally aware of what you should and shouldn't do, because it's important to use everything you have at your disposal.</P><P>There are lots of different things that can get and keep him interested, but they won't necessarily make him fall head-over-heels for you. The ones we're going to talk about here are four no-fail ways. So if you want him to fall for you, you're going to want to use these high powered methods.</P><P>First and foremost? <B>Don't trade his feelings for sex!</B> Although you're going to be attracted to him, especially if you're in love, it's best to hold off on the sex until you both share the same feelings. Sex is a lot more meaningful when it's part of a loving relationship, so wait for that.</P><P>Second is to <B>develop your friendship</B>. Many couples feel that their partner is their best friend. And if you think about everything friends do for each other, from having fun to offering support to sharing dreams and feelings, you'll see why it plays such an important part in a relationship. How great would it be to be best friends with your soulmate?</P><P>Third is to <B>take your time</B> and go slowly. If you love him, you probably want things to move ahead quickly. If you're sure of your feelings, then it can be frustrating to have to keep things on an even keel. But the truth is that putting pressure on him is not going to make him fall for you more quickly. In fact, it could backfire.</P><P>So be patient and wait. He knows that the longer you go out together, the more you will be looking for a commitment from him. But if he's not ready, then putting pressure on him won't help. Give him time and he'll not want to let you go.</P><P>Fourth is to <B>build him up and support him</B>. He'll love it if he hears you bragging about him or if he overhears you talking to one of your friends on the phone, about how wonderful he is. And let him know that you'll be there for him and support him however you can. Just knowing you feel this way will make him care for you in return.</P><P>If you want him to fall for you, it's okay to use these no-fail ways. After all, you know it will be good for him. If you'd like even more no-fail ways to try, I've got them ready for you.</P><P>To read more about how to make a man love you, click Signs He Wants You. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man Fall in Love with you.</P><P>Evangeline Harris is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/7150431" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-81453674714578716132012-08-19T17:36:00.000-07:002012-08-19T17:36:00.109-07:00<P>The type of women men want to marry have a few common qualities when it comes to attracting men. Whether you're in a relationship, or want to be in one, you need to know how to handle a man and keep him happy - especially if you want to get him to marry you. Being good to a man or doing the things he wants to do is not enough to keep him interested. Some women believe that if they just keep giving to a man, they can endear themselves to him. Other women believe in making themselves irresistible to a man in order to get him to propose. Just what qualities or secrets do they have, these women men want to marry? Let's take a closer look at some of their techniques to keeping a man and getting him to the altar.</P><br /><P><STRONG>What Makes a Man Fall in Love</STRONG></P><br /><P>Don't think that being good or doing things for your man is going to make him think he can't live without you. Believe me, you can never do enough for a man. Men don't fall in love with the things you can do for them. Yes, some say that sacrificing yourself makes you more attractive to a man. I think not. Doing this only makes him see you as convenient - and that is no way to start a marriage.</P><br /><P>My granny used to say that men don't necessarily fall in love with a woman he can live with - he falls in love with the woman he can't live without. Men fall in love with how you make them feel when you are together. They want to be around women who challenge them, stands up for herself and shows him that she is not to be trifled with. Men like this because they also like making their woman happy - it makes them feel good about themselves. The type of women men want to marry are the type of women who know how to acknowledge, accept and appreciate the things a man does in a relationship.</P><br /><P><STRONG>Making Yourself Irresistible to Men</STRONG></P><br /><P>One trait that women men want to marry seem to have in common is the ability to make themselves irresistible to a man. Here's how you do it. Men want to win and they love a bit of a challenge. In your relationship, they want to win your heart. Give it to him freely and he will likely pull away from you. Remember, you are valuable and your heart shouldn't be easy to get anyway. You want him to know that he's going to have to put forth some effort to get you - you are his prize.</P><br /><P>Now pay close attention here - resisting him means you don't do everything he says, you don't give in to him when he wants something. If you don't like sports, don't go to a sporting event with him just to be in his presence, to please him. In those times when you are apart, he thinks about you and that is a good thing. Men fall in love when you're not with them. Offer no resistance and he will not see winning you as a challenge. Men simply cannot resist a challenge.</P><br /><P><STRONG>What Makes a Man Want to Marry You</STRONG></P><br /><P>Many women seem to think that if they keep giving a man what he wants, he will eventually love them, maybe even marry them. Other women try to push or pressure a man into a relationship, maybe even offer an ultimatum or make threats. Do not make the mistake that if you give in to a man, he will surely want to marry you. Believe me, that is simply not true. Yes, you should do things for him,</P><br /><P>Women who love themselves first, who know who they are, know they are valuable and are confident in all of this - these are the women men want to marry. Men fall in love with and marry women who will not compromise their values to be with a man. Men will respect and honor these qualities in a woman. When men respect you, the relationship becomes very strong. These women are strong, independent, spirited individuals who will stand up for themselves and never compromise principles or values. These are the women men want to marry.</P><br /><P><B>Learn How to Be the Woman a Man Will Want to Marry</B></P><br /><P>â?¨Ruby Belle has over 40 years relationship experience helping people through numerous problems, issues and challenges. There is a new system created by experts in the field of relationships that will help guide you through the sometimes confusing and frustrating world of men and how they handle relationships. Couples in over 67 countries around the world have benefited from this information and now you can benefit, too.  By the way, there is a great deal of helpful information on this video, so you may want to grab a paper and pen to take notes.</P><br /><P> </P><br /><P><A href="http://ezinearticles.com/7146941" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">View the original article here</A></P>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3257624113746771829.post-36531319119311238292012-08-19T04:38:00.000-07:002012-08-19T04:38:00.339-07:00 <P>Being a single guy in the modern world can be a lot of fun, but sometimes you yearn for the companionship of a special lady in your life. Unfortunately, finding a girl to date is not as simple as going to the store to pick up a six-pack. In your life, there are probably a number of girls whom you would like to date, but knowing how to ask a girl out might not necessarily be your strong suit. The fear of rejection can be overwhelming, especially if you are highly attracted to someone. If you really want to start a dating relationship with a girl, though, you are going to have to find a way to start conversations that effectively lead to dates.</P><P>In a perfect world, the girl of your dreams would notice how much interest you have in her, and she would make it known that the feeling is mutual. However, this world is far from perfect, and very few women take the initiative to ask guys out. In order to land dates successfully, it is up to you to take the steps required to set up dates. You will be rejected and you will suffer disappointments, but these will only make your dating successes that much sweeter.</P><P>The first step you need to take if you are confused about how to ask a girl out is to build some confidence in yourself. No girl is going to be interested in dating you if it is not obvious why you are a great catch. If you truly like yourself and hold yourself in high esteem without being cocky, girls will feel an attraction to you, even if you are not the most handsome or athletic specimen in the sea.</P><P>Once you have worked on your confidence, you might feel the urge to treat dating with utmost seriousness. This is a huge mistake. Girls do not generally respond well to men with no sense of humor. They respond even more poorly to guys who telegraph their intentions when it comes to asking them on dates. Instead, take a casual and friendly approach. Use humor even if you do not know any good jokes. The key is to project an easy-going personality while making it clear that you are attracted to the girl you wish to ask out.</P><P>Once you have her laughing and looking at you like you are the most charming person in the world, it is time to set up a date. Avoid asking her out to any specific event or activity. Instead, suggest that you and her should go out some time to do something casual. Then, in subsequent conversations the two of you can decide on the details of your meeting. Remember to keep the conversation casual, and try not to show disappointment if your advances are not fruitful. Some girls like to play hard-to-get, and you may need to try again on a later date. You can save yourself and salvage a possible future date by remaining friendly and jovial in conversation. She will appreciate your attitude, especially if you make it clear that her rejection does not faze you.</P><P>Dating is never easy, but you can make the process go much more smoothly by following the tips revealed here. You do not need to possess movie star looks or even the most sparkling personality to experience dating success. All you need is self-confidence and a casual approach. Many men spend countless hours wondering how to ask a girl out, but if you treat it like it is no big deal, you will have more dating success than you ever dreamed was possible.</P><P>Peter Mclucas is an avid traveler, educator and writer on a variety of subjects. Watch his videos here</P><br /><p><a href="http://EzineArticles.com/7146288" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">View the original article here</a></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05661481755527702726noreply@blogger.com0