Subscribe to this podcast in iTunes

Sean and I would like to announce the debut of our new channel (including the release of the rest of the Unicorn Western saga, which got pretty damn epic) on May 23rd. You can sign up for the Realm and Sands list to get our new releases at a discount here.

Today we were supposed to have a guest, but he didn’t show up so instead, we just got all caught up on the voicemails you guys have been sending in. Here’s what we answered:

* What’s the best way to publish microfiction?
* A comment about JK Rowling as pertains to crossing genres
* When is it useful to use a pen name?
* WHY THE FUCK DON’T WE SHARE OUR NUMBERS OMG (Dave loved this one.)
* What’s the thing in writing that makes readers share it with others?
* I have three months to do ** SOMETHING ** in publishing and writing. What’s the best way to spend it?
* Is it worthwhile pricing at 99 cents? Permanent free? Whatever?
* We also got a shout out from a listener on her blog.

There was also some discussion of free and of moving to other publishing platforms and a fun revisiting of writing in several genres. Enjoy!

Lastly: Don’t forget to sign up for the Realm and Sands mailing list for channel launch on May 23rd!

Subscribe to this podcast in iTunes

While forming new habits may seem like a slightly boring thing to focus a lot of energy on, Johnny, Joel and guest James Clear explore the idea that habits are actually the most direct way to hacking the mind and creating real change and results.

Also covered in this episode:

• What drove James to want to study habits closely
• Reducing stress to improve your overall quality of life and encourage healthier habits immediately
• The three R’s of habits and what they mean
• Why simply getting rid of a bad habit is often not enough to make you want to stop doing it permanently
• The power of focusing on identity based goals instead of ones based on performance
• How to stick to a schedule even when the circumstances are not ideal
• Why showing up = success

Referenced links:

The Power Of Habit by Charles Duhigg

On Writing by Stephen King

BBSF episode about willpower vs. discipline

Resource page on James Clear’s website

Los Paleo by Marla Sarris

UltimatePaleoGuide.com

RealmAndSands.com

BBSF #9 – Hacking Your Mind With Winning Habits Video

Our sites:

• Impossible HQ
• Johnny’s “How To Be Legendary” manifesto
• Johnny’s blog

If you would like join in the discussion and leave a comment go to www.biggerbetterstrongerfaster.com

Subscribe to this podcast in iTunes

Today, we talked again with our friend and bestselling author CJ Lyons. We talked about how self publishing has changed (and how traditional publishing is apparently just figuring it out), how to bond with your readers and grow your audience, and how smart publishers today need to pay more attention to strategic basics that never go out of style (writing good books, writing a lot, pleasing readers, etc.) instead of trendy tactics.

CJ also weighed in on our writing across multiple genres and convinced Dave of several other things that made Sean jump up and down. As usual, it was like watching a marriage break up.

CJ’s main site is CJLyons.net and her blog is No Rules, Just Write. Pop in and say hi, and buy her shit!

To view the video version of this episode, go to: Self Publishing Podcast #54 – Exploding Your Growth, with Bestselling Author CJ Lyons.

To check it out and leave a comment go to www.selfpublishingpodcast.com.

Gals and guys, I’d like to level with you on something. I can do that, right? We’re friends, right?

Raise your hand if you agree.

Okay, now put your hand down because I can’t see you anyway.

See, I used to teach a lot about business, and maybe that’s what you know me for even though I’ve skewed away from it lately. WHY did I teach business? Well, because I was good at it. I started a business online, and in its first year, that business made about $100,000. Right off the bat. I got myself onto the biggest blogs. I made some influential friends. People got to know me — people like you. Then I’d change direction, try something new, and do pretty well at that, too. I’ve had my ups and downs, but it’s been five years now, and I’m still doing pretty damn well.

Sometimes, people acted like I had the golden touch. Of course, there was plenty of failure in my “golden touch,” but people only see the gold, and I generated a decent amount of it. So, whatever.

So people asked how I did it. People were like, “What’s the key to your success?”, and I never knew what to tell them. I could teach them my tactics, and I did. I could show them my work habits, and I did. I could teach them about the technology I used, and I did. I could consult people and kind of hold their hand, telling them what I’d do in a situation, and I did.

But “what’s the key to your success”? That’s a slightly different question.

So, together with my friend Lee, we brainstormed how it would be possible to teach people those “keys” when said keys weren’t to be found in tactics, and work habits, and technology, and mentorship. And what we came up with was a course called Question the Rules, which had the tagline “The nonconformist’s punk rock, DIY, nuts-and-bolts guide to creating the business and life you really want, starting with what you already have.”

So just to make sure you’re following along here, my answer re: “keys to success” was to create a punk rock business guide.

And I know how that sounds, but this was as honest as I could be. The solution isn’t in “ninja tricks.” It’s in a change of mindset — something I talk and write about a LOT today. Successful people aren’t successful because of ninja tricks. They’re successful because they’re punk rock.

Meaning: They don’t just look at the world and say, “This is what is real and how things go.” Instead, they say, “I’m going to create a niche computer and take on the giants, but charge more for it” (Steve Jobs) or “I’m going to fly” (the Wright Brothers) or “I’m going to be an NBA slam-dunk champion even though I’m only five foot seven” (Spud Webb).

Successful people are successful — in business and in anything — because they find other ways to do things than the “normal” way. They find loopholes that allow them to get where they want to go faster, with less effort, in a more profitable way.

I first released Question the Rules in 2009, and it sold like mad. LIKE MAD. People were hungry for this “the real dope, not B.S.” material. We FILLED the course with material totaling over 30 hours of content about what REALLY WORKS — both from us and from some of the best unconventional successes we could find. People raved. We got a LOT of thank-you mail.

And to date, Question the Rules is the course I’m most proud of. There is no crap in this course. We won’t tell you to that there is one magic thing you need to do and that riches will then fall from the sky. Instead, we take you through the mindset change — from rule-follower to entrepreneurially successful rule-questioner — that will actually make a difference. We show you how to find the loopholes you’re missing right now.

I LOVE Question the Rules, but it’s time to take it off the market.

See, I’m “walking my walk” in life right now. I never really wanted to teach business. I did well in business and was good at it, so I taught it, and it was great. But what I really wanted to do was to write novels. So that’s what I’m mostly doing today, along with the human potential project that centers on the amazing people in my Everyday Legendary community.

I am throwing away a lucrative career teaching marketing and business to write novels. If THAT isn’t “questioning the rules,” I don’t know what is.

So here’s the deal: I’m going to take my popular Question the Rules course off the market on Thursday, April 11, and until then, the price is going to be $49. That price KILLS me, because this course is not only the most effective I’ve ever done, but it’s also the LARGEST I’ve ever done.

But because of that, I think it’s the one that the most people need, and I want them to be able to get it.

I’d like to charge more, but I want everyone to be able to afford QTR who wants it. I don’t think that you should have to skimp on something to learn what’s in Question the Rules, seeing as to how it might change you and your effectiveness. So I won’t make you.

So with all that said, you can get Question the Rules here for $49.

Just be sure to do it before Thursday, April 11, because it’s going off-market forever at that point.

(Caveat: In the spirit of honesty, I should mention that I do have one friend who will promote it for a few days after April 11. But I doubt you’ll see that promo.)

And if you’re asking why I’d take it off the market and why I wouldn’t just leave it on sale forever, I’ll tell you why:

1. I love this course, but it doesn’t truly represent me as I am today. I don’t teach business anymore, and a LOT LOT LOT has changed for me since these recordings were made. They’ll be as relevant to you as ever, but they’re much less representative of me as a person.

2. Let’s be honest: Liquidating an old course via a sale is a great money-maker. I’m a full-time fiction writer now, which is great because I’m pursuing (and succeeding at) a dream I’ve had forever… but I’m not where I need to be yet. So I could let QTR sit there, or I could do a win-win sale. I always prefer win-win.

So that’s it. Question the Rules, my best and most successful course (just check out the testimonials!) is on sale now for $49.

Get Question the Rules here before April 11, when it goes off-market.

NOTE: In case it’s not 100% clear, I’m not going anywhere. Only Question the Rules is going away.

Because I apparently don’t have enough on my plate, I started a new podcast with “Impossible” guy Joel Runyon. It’s called Bigger Better Stronger Faster, and you can subscribe in iTunes here. The podcast’s website, where you can leave comments and stuff, is here. (You can also find us on Blackberry, Zune, and Stitcher Radio.)

Now, you probably already know about my Self Publishing Podcast and my “it’s not about horror but let’s pretend” Better Off Undead podcast (both with Sean Platt and David “I hate you all” Wright), but this one is different.

Bigger Better Stronger Faster is, in short, a podcast about reaching your potential as a human being.

This podcast is about becoming — follow along with me, kids — bigger, better, stronger, and faster. And that’s not just in physical endeavors, either, so don’t mistake us for a fitness podcast. We talk about that stuff for sure, but you can always learn and gain BIGGER abilities. You can always become BETTER intellectually, or in any skill. You can always become a STRONGER friend, wife, husband, mother, father, or family member. You can always achieve any goal FASTER.

We’ve posted our first two episodes so far, so check ‘em out if you’d like. Or — and this is preferable to watching or listening on the site — you can subscribe to Bigger Better Stronger Faster on iTunes or search to find us on the other directories.

(And if you don’t know anything about podcasts, including how to sign up for and listen to one? Just watch this video.)

Enjoy!

I was thinking the other day about how there are all these key pieces of advice that someone influential in our lives (mom, dad, grandma, Cthulu) tells us are true, but that we don’t like the answers to. So to deal with the issue, we decide we’re too awesome to pay attention and insist on failing for ourselves.

Anyway, I thought I’d make a list of the truths I’ve discovered in case anyone out there is wondering about them. NOW: I’ve tested these things and can vouch for their truth, but feel free to ignore me if you’d like the experience of screwing up for yourself. It’s cool.

Here we go:

1. If you want to lose weight or see your abs, you need to eat less.
Nobody wants to eat less or eat better, so if they want to lose weight, they keep eating and simply exercise more. I know I did. I have been aggressively weight training for 20 years and have experimented with just about every way of training out there. I have done powerlifting. I have done strongman workouts. I have done Crossfit. I once did four major endurance events in two months, and I trained 20+ hours a week during that time. But despite all of that, I only finally got a six pack when I got my diet under control and started tracking what I ate religiously using an app. There’s an expression that says “you can’t out-train a bad diet” and one that says “abs are made in the kitchen.” Both are 100% true.

2. The best moneymaking and success strategy is to be awesome.
It’s amazing how many people fret about perfecting their marketing strategy when what they have to offer is total shit. Sure, marketing and SEO and positioning matter… but only once you are producing awesome stuff. No matter how many times we talk about marketing funnels or KDP Select promotion strategy on the podcast, the bottom-line advice always boils down to, “Keep writing awesome books that people love.” That philosophy applies to everything.

3. Most people are lazy.
People say they want to make some kind of a change. They get good, solid advice. Then they do nothing. NOTHING. In most cases, failure is not the result of outside influences. In most cases, failure is due to a simple lack of effort. It’s an ugly truth, but it’s the truth, all right: most people don’t want what they claim to want badly enough to actually put in the work required to get it.

4. Guilt and regret won’t make your problems go away.
There’s no point in dwelling on bad things that happened or that you did in the past. Most people feel that it’s their duty to dwell on guilt, as if they’ll somehow be a horrible person if they refuse to keep feeling guilty. It’s not true. What happened happened. Move on.

5. Bitching won’t make your problems go away.
This one is hilarious to see in action. Why does your father always complain about his crappy car? Why does your neighbor complain about the government and taxes? Bitching and complaining does nothing. Action does something, but bitching is not action. Bitching is bitching. Yet people do it fervently, as if they think that bitching enough will, by itself, solve the problem.

6. Doggedly pursuing a stupid idea won’t turn it into it a smart idea.
I once tried to get a Ph.D in genetics. I hated my studies within a month, but I told myself that if I just stuck with it, I’d eventually love it and life would be grand. It didn’t, and eventually I wised up and quit. One of the best aphorisms I’ve ever heard is from the movie Christine, when Darnell says, “You can’t polish a turd.” So stop trying. That turd is a turd, and no matter how long you polish it, it won’t turn into a shiny new Plymouth Fury. And sure, Arnie got lucky in the movie, but his car turned out to be evil. There’s a lesson there.

7. You should always be yourself.
Ask any gay person if they’d rather go back into the closet and go back to pretending to be someone they’re not. I’ll bet you don’t get a yes. It’s always better to be open about who you are, what you do, what you like, and what you want out of life. I don’t mean to open a can of worms on this one, but sex is a huge issue here. We had a whole episode of our podcast about this if you’re interested. Just be warned that it is EXTREMELY NSFW AND NOT APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN. (You’ve been warned; click here to listen.)

8. Worrying is useless.
Worry is like bitching. It changes nothing, but we feel like we’ve got to do it because if we don’t worry about something enough, it seems like we’re being flippant. But try something for me: the next time you’re worried about something, ask yourself how much the problem will improve if you worry really, really hard. That’ll fix things, right?

9. Most successes happen in small steps and take a long time.
This is the cornerstone message behind my Everyday Legendary community, which is filled with people who actually understand that most things worth doing take time. Almost nothing happens in huge, gestalt leaps. Want to become a champion ballerina or start a successful company? Get a little better every day, then repeat.

10. You shouldn’t buy what you can’t afford.
Want that TV? Wait until you have enough cash to pay for it. Want to take the vacation but need to borrow from your credit card (and then not pay it off in full) to do it? You’d better wait. I’ve violated this plenty. Sometimes, for necessities, it feels essential. I almost always regret it.

11. Nobody is rooting for you to fail.
The world isn’t out to get you. There’s no point in pretending that it is. People have their noses so far in their own business that they’re not paying attention to you and your potential failure. You simply don’t matter to them enough to root against. That means you’re free.

12. Nobody cares if you succeed.
This is the corollary to #11 above. Think Aunt Margaret will push your new book to all of her friends? Think that famous person who could really help you will hop on board with your fantastic idea? Nope. They don’t give a shit. Not really. They have their own issues. Your successes are up to you.

13. Nobody cares about your complaints.
I was once part of a group that really, really pissed me off. I made sure I let them know why I was leaving, and how unwelcome I felt. I didn’t think that they’d change and/or beg me to stay, but I thought they’d at least express concern or regret, or at least register some emotion. They didn’t. Same when my wife stormed out of a job under shitty conditions. Same with a bank that had hideous service. And so on. They don’t care, so make your feelings known… but then don’t expect a reaction, and certainly don’t expect change or for them to make it right.

14. There is very little that you truly need.
Food. Water. Air. Shelter. Those are the things you need. You do not need a house. A cardboard box covering your head will do just fine. It’s not ideal, but it will work. Most people inflate their personal cost of living by turning things that they merely want into things they feel they need. It’s okay to want things. It’s good to want things. But stop adding stress to your life by equating your gym membership or your car to your literal survival. If you lose most things, you and your family will continue to live and will still probably manage to be happy from time to time.

15. Everyone lives life according to their own rules, not yours.
Someone says something to you and you’re offended. You think they’re being a jerk, because you have a personal rule that says, “If you say X to someone, it’s because you want to insult them.” But that other person doesn’t necessarily have the same rules as you have. They’re responding according to their own rules, and in all probability, their rules say that they are responding appropriately. They may even think that you are the bad guy. So who’s right? Neither; you simply have different rules. The sooner you realize that everyone is trying to do the best they can in life with what they have (rather than going out of their way to be mean to you), the better.

16. Clueless people don’t know they’re clueless, and never will.
If you’re aghast that someone is a total dipshit and feel the need to show them the dipshit nature of their ways, don’t bother to try. It may be super-obvious to you that you really shouldn’t rest your testicles on the countertop while using the sink like some old men used to do at my gym, but they’re never going to have that epiphany. They may change to please you, but they will never think, “Wow, I was really dumb!”

17. It seldom makes sense to try to convince people you’re right.
I once heard Deepak Chopra call this as “the law of defenselessness.” It basically goes like this: Have your opinion, but release the pressing need you have to defend that opinion to other people. It’s fine to just believe something and not spend a bunch of time justifying your point of view, especially when the issue in question is just an opinion. (TIP: Most things — including those things you’re certain you’re right about — are actually opinions.)

18. You really can achieve just about anything.
It may take you a while, but you can in fact achieve most reasonable things and plenty of unreasonable things. You’ll see that if you stop deciding that things are impossible before even trying. (See also: Everyday Legendary’s central premise.)

19. The people you look up to are just as nervous as you are.
Succeeding gets a lot easier when you realize that everyone who has ever succeeded has doubted that things will work, has failed terribly, and has generally been where the rest of are: worrying and certain that they aren’t good enough. (Bonus fact: Those people you look up to also don’t start being bulletproof and perfect AFTER they’ve succeeded. They actually remain human until the day they die.)

20. Your worst-case scenario is seldom very bad.
Here’s a fun game: Ask yourself “what’s the worst that could happen?” about the thing that worries you most, and then keep asking it until you can’t ask anymore. Then, when you’re at the bottom of that chain of questions, ask yourself how terrible that end result would really be. Here’s an example: I might lose my job > I wouldn’t be able to pay the bills > I would lose my house and car > I’d have to declare bankruptcy > I’d have to move in with mom/dad/grandma or bum on a friend’s couch and have a bad credit rating. Now: is that scenario really THAT bad? Did you die? Are you ruined forever and ever? Will you be tortured? The truth is that most “worst case scenarios” are merely inconvenient, uncomfortable, or embarrassing.

So that’s my list. What are some of yours?

Hey, I have something to announce, and I just wrote an email to my list about it, and now I’ve got shit to do and don’t want to write a blog post too. Will anyone judge me if I just post the email here? No*? Cool.

Hey there!

After sending you a few emails about my books, this email is coming to you from the other side of my brain… the side where I try to give you the best help I can with becoming Legendary in your own time.

So… let’s talk finding buyers for your stuff and readers for your work, shall we? Let’s talk about building a Legendary readership, a Legendary business, or any of those other Legendary pursuits you might have that require getting attention.

Specifically, let’s talk how to write blog posts that kick the crap out of everyone else’s.

Oh, and hey… this might be a good time to point you to a call I’m doing with Mr. Badass himself, my good friend Jon Morrow. It’s called “How to Write Blog Posts That Kick the Crap Out of Everyone Else’s.”

You can sign up to join us (for no cost, of course) by clicking here:

http://is.gd/jM1Rg3

The call is this Wednesday, February 6th, at 2pm Eastern US time, but there WILL be a recording, so be sure to register even if you know you can’t attend live. (Unless, of course, you either 1) don’t care about writing blog posts at all or 2) want to write blog posts that suck and get ignored and are a waste of your time to write. Hey, it’s your call.)

Here are just a few of the things Jon and I will be talking about:

• The stupid lies everyone believes that will ensure the death of your blog
• Why longer blog posts are hands-down better than short posts
• Why posting everyday is a useless strategy
• Why Jon likes avocados so damn much

(That last one isn’t on the agenda, but I added it because it’s almost certain to come up anyway.)

You can register to join us for this sure-to-be-awesome-because-all-of-my-calls-with-Jon-have-been-awesome call here:

http://is.gd/jM1Rg3

Oh, and hey… this call is worth your time even if you don’t think you care about blogging. If you want to write or communicate or persuade at all, be SURE to listen to this. Jon and I have recorded three or four in this series, and each has been VERY popular. We both get emails all the time from people thanking us for them… and again, they don’t cost a dime to attend or listen to.

I’ll be honest: the information I’ve learned from Jon has flat-out made the difference for my business — and that’s my BLOG-BASED business and my WRITING business (the one where I write and sell fiction.) The stuff we’re going to talk about is exactly what I did to build my audience, and what I continue to do even though my business has changed dramatically.

And of course, Jon hates it when I praise him like that. He’s all like, “Dude, stop praising me. And also, don’t forget to tell them how cool I am in these seven other ways.”

(NOTE: I’ve referred to Jon above as “Mr. Badass,” but he’s publicly stated that he’s also okay with using the title “His Royal Awesomeness.” He is also having his own personal theme music composed. And no, I’m not kidding about either of those things.)

So that’s it. This call is worth your time if you want attention on anything you are doing. Trust me on this one.

It’s on Wednesday. There WILL be a recording, so sign up whether you think you can be there live or not… but try to be there live if you can. But it’s BYOA (bring your own avocados).

Go here if you want to learn how to write blog posts that will make other people’s blog posts cry:

http://is.gd/jM1Rg3

See you Wednesday!

JT

P.S: I’m pretty sure that if you’re reading this AFTER the call has taken place, Jon and team will have changed it so that you’ll just get the recording straightaway, so you can and should still sign up if you’re coming here late. I’m not sure that will happen and am far too lazy to go back and check, so… you know… give it a shot.

* If you think it’s unacceptable that I’m simply posting an email on my blog instead of writing a brand-new blog post, I don’t care because you’re one of those people who is into busywork. If that’s you, go look at LOLcats and chill the fuck out.

I hate this time of year.

Starting on January 2nd, my gym is totally overrun by people who have been pretending to want to be in shape all year, but who have suddenly decided to give slightly more of a shit because the last digit in the date has changed. These people clog every machine, every barbell, every dumbbell, and every inch of floor space.

Then, three to five weeks later, things go back to normal at the gym. It’s like clockwork. The throngs clear out, leaving the same handful of regulars who were there in December.

The guys who own my gym absolutely love these people — a group my old fitness forum called “resolutionists.” Resolutionists are the perfect customers. They allow the owners to overbook the gym the way airlines overbook flights because they pay their money, then never actually show up.

Now, when I say that I hate this time of year, you might think I’m being an elitist prick. I promise that’s not my intention. I don’t, in fact, dislike the people who join in January, and I don’t like it when they leave.

What I can’t stand is the phenomenon. I can’t fucking stand New Year’s resolutions.

The whole idea is so annoying and disgusting and spineless. It’s a ritual wherein everyone — including folks who can’t stick to ONE. FUCKING. COMMITMENT to themselves or others — is pressured into concocting a bullshit promise that they have no intention of keeping, and no real reason to follow through on.

See, real life improvement doesn’t happen only on New Year’s Eve. It happens on February 12th, June 23rd, September 18th, and every other day. It happens whenever it happens, and it happens because something within a person recognizes an urgent, burning need for change. It doesn’t happen because some asshole chinks a glass of champagne against yours and asks you to come up with a socially acceptable lie.

I guess I could put it this way:

If you want to make a positive change in your life, then Godspeed to you. Promise yourself that you’ll do it, and then do it. But if you’re not going to make a change (a totally legit choice, by the way) then don’t promise that you will.

And if that’s the case, please just shut the fuck up about your “resolutions.”

On goals

That opening is pretty harsh. I’d wager that I lost at least thirty percent of the people that are here reading me for the first time. It’s a shame, because I’m in no way anti-self-improvement. I love it when people want to become better and then actually become better. I’d go so far as to say that “becoming better” is my prime mission in life, and something I love helping others to do whenever I’m able.

And as a tool to achieve that self-improvement, I love goals. If you want to improve, setting goals is a great way to do it and to measure your progress.

But a New Year’s resolution isn’t a goal. It’s a drunken, ill-thought-out, socially induced promise. People set resolutions because they think they should, not because the subject of the resolution actually matters to them. People set resolutions based on what they think others expect of them rather than what they actually want. Resolutions are obnoxiously righteous. Resolutions scream, “THIS YEAR, I WILL MAKE SOMETHING OF MYSELF!” And because they’re so loud and pious, you can bet that the definition of “making something of yourself” being used is probably your mother’s, your father’s, or your boss’s.

Do you truly feel you should quit smoking? Or does your spouse think you should?

Do you really want to lose fifteen pounds, or are you fine with how you look and feel but figure that you could lose the weight, and your resolution has to be about something?

If you actually care about what you’re resolving, why do you need New Year’s Eve to remind you to do it? If you do care, shouldn’t you should start your little self-improvement project whenever the thought occurs to you? And if you don’t care, then why are you promising anything?

But hey, I get it. The thrill of resolution-making is hard-wired into us at this point. And so if you absolutely must make a resolution, I suggest you make this one:

This year, I will stop pretending to care about things that don’t matter to me and will instead begin pursuing goals I DO care about whenever inspiration strikes… regardless of what date is on the calendar.

Resolutions, taken at face value, aren’t bad. Resolutions are good. It’s good to gather your will and commit yourself to doing something that matters.

Just be sure that you’re doing those things on your own time, for your own reasons.

How to keep your resolutions, regardless of what day they’re made

There’s no way for me to write this next part without sounding like I’m trying to appear perfect and awesome. I promise that’s not what I’m trying to do. I fall short of goals all the time, but if I’m going to give an example of how to stick to a goal, it’d be really dumb for me to tell you about one I screwed up, right?

So instead, let’s talk about a goal I set and then actually achieved. Let’s talk about how I lost 30 pounds that I would have sworn to you six months ago I didn’t have to lose.

1. Know what you want, as specifically as possible.

Oftentimes, people make goals that sound like this: “Lose weight,” “Advance at work,” “Make more money.” But think about it… what do those phrases mean? How will you measure your progress toward them? How will you know when you reach them?

Those goals are way, way too vague to be effective.

When you create goals, pretend that a jerky lawyer is going to try to convince a jury that you’ve failed, so you’ll need to demonstrate without question that you’ve succeeded. So for financial goals, set a number. Nobody can question a number; either you hit it or you don’t. For relationship goals, determine how many times a week/month you’d see/talk to that person and what topics you might feel comfortable discussing. If you want a new position at work, name that position, and say which office you’ll be in, how much money you’ll make, and so on.

I said above that I lost 30 pounds, but that wasn’t my initial goal. (I actually didn’t think I could lose that much weight, which is something I’ll talk about below.) My goal, instead, was that I wanted to get a six-pack. Specifically, I wanted visible separation between at least six segments of my abdominal muscles even when relaxed, clearly visible in a normally lit room.

I even had a few photos that represented what I was shooting for. Here is one of those photos. Now, I’m not as big as ol’ Alcide and will probably never have a look as impressive as his, but it was an ideal representation of what I wanted.

2. Know why you want your goal… and understand that it’s YOU that must want it.

I’d tried to get the fabled six pack before many times. I never really got quite as lean as I wanted to be because I wasn’t clear about why I wanted it. My reasons used to be things like “because it’d look cool” or “to be hot.” And those are okay reasons, I guess, but neither was enough to drive me to do what it would take to get what I really wanted.

This time around, my reason was simpler but more powerful. It was “to prove that I can.” That simple imperative may not move you, but it was and is tremendously motivational for me. If you read this blog, you’ll know that I talk a lot about how few things are actually impossible and how “normal” expectations are bullshit. And although I wrote about those topics, I realized that I wasn’t walking my talk as purely as I could. Getting lean is a matter of discipline, so if I wanted it but couldn’t achieve it, it was because I lacked will. How could I write about conquering your will and becoming Legendary if I couldn’t do it myself? And another thing: I’ll turn 37 this year, and people think it’s nearly impossible (or at least highly impractical and unreasonable) for a guy who’s knocking on the door of 40 to want the body of a twenty-something. So of course I had to jump all over that heap of bullshit.

But whatever reasons you have, make sure you understand them, and make sure they drive you.

But most of all, make sure they’re actually YOUR reasons.

A lot of people rush to get in shape for a high school reunion. Plenty more get an advanced degree to please their fathers. Both are a bad idea. If you want to get in shape, do it to feel more confident in everything else you do. If you want that degree, make sure it’s because it’ll land you your dream job and allow you to pursue a lifelong passion.

At one point after I’d lost most of what I wanted to lose, I half-jokingly told my wife Robin that “I did this to be sexy for you.” But she doesn’t buy into my bullshit, so she rolled her eyes and said, “No you didn’t. You did it for you.”

3. Act immediately.

I made my goal — my “resolution” to lean out, if you will — in April of 2012. I made it because I read an article in Men’s Health about Zac Effron, of all people. In that article, Zac was talking about getting ripped for a movie and said something like “I may not be the strongest or the fastest guy out there, but I can outwork anyone.”

That struck a chord with me. As the guy who wrote “Everything is Simple. Nothing is Easy,” I shouldn’t have found Zac’s statement to be a revelation, but I did. I thought, Duh. It comes down to having the discipline to work very hard for a long period of time. That’s all it is.

Something clicked. It dawned on me that if I simply committed and did — and even better, if I could hire someone to hit me with a virtual stick to keep me on track — that I, too, could outwork anyone.

I was reading that article in a hot tub. I didn’t even have to get out. My phone was within reach, so grabbed it and emailed a friend to ask if he’d hook me up with his trainer. I knew his guy made his clients work hard, but got results and wouldn’t hesitate to put a boot up my ass if I slacked off. So, later that week, I was talking to that trainer — by now-buddy Roger Lawson — and had received my marching orders.

I started that very day, without any delusional “the diet starts tomorrow so I’ll get my fun on today” bullshit.

4. Be honest with yourself.

This part is haaaaaard. I thought I was always honest with myself, but it turned out that I was one seriously lying fucker.

I’d weighed 204 pounds for forever, and I was convinced — convinced! — that I was lean. I mean, I’m fairly strong for an amateur, with a best parallel squat of 395 and a best deadlift of 475. I could work like a horse, so I told myself that I just had a ton of muscle. I used to yell at my Wii when we played Wii Fit because it said I was obese. I said that the BMI charts aren’t meant for athletic individuals. When I hired Roger, I told him I wanted to lose “that last ten pounds” and become TOTALLY ripped… versus the “already pretty ripped” I was at the time. I figured I could maybe — maaaybe — get down to 190. But that was it, because I already had it going on.

WRONG.

The very first thing Roger told me to do was to take a series of pictures. I will never forgive him for this. These pictures showed me a different person than I saw every day in the mirror.

Here’s what I saw in the photos:

FUCK.

The guy I saw in those pictures wasn’t exactly fat, but he sure as hell wasn’t lean. I immediately made up all sorts of justifications for why I didn’t see the right person in those photos. The flash was washing me out! I was standing funny!

Well, you know how they say that the camera adds ten pounds? That’s because when we look in the mirror, we lie to ourselves. The camera isn’t “adding” anything. It’s just showing you the truth. And for me, once I admitted the truth, resolving to change became easy.

Oh, and by the way… because my fragile ego can’t take having that “before” photo hanging out in the wind, here’s a “just a few pounds left” photo of me today, at 174:

If I’d continued to tell myself that I was only able to lose ten pounds, that “after” photo wouldn’t exist.

You need to be honest about where you are right now, before you embark on the pursuit of a goal. For fitness goals, being honest might mean using a camera. For financial goals, it might mean getting an accountant’s opinion. For creative goals, it might mean critiques or reviews. At the very least, ask for the unfiltered opinions of a handful of friends.

Remember: it’s very difficult to use a map if you don’t know where you are on it.

(CAVEAT: If you don’t like what your “honest truth” is at this point, do NOT beat yourself up about it. Where you are is where you are, and if you don’t like where you are, then remember that you’re embarking on a change. Achieving goals shouldn’t be fueled by hate, but by a desire for the end product. If you don’t have peace during the journey, you’ll go nuts and sabotage yourself at every turn.)

(SECOND CAVEAT: My personal, it’s-mine-and-you-don’t-have-to-agree-with-it goal in this example was to get lean in order to prove to myself that I could do it, so please don’t email me and tell me that my six-pack quest encourages body image issues. What I saw as my honest starting point showed me that I had not yet “done it” despite the fact that I’d convinced myself I almost had — no more and no less. I might have chosen to scale Everest or run an ultramarathon, but I chose this instead.)

5. Know and accept the price ahead of time.

I told Roger that I’d do whatever he asked me to do, within reason. That was why I’d hired him. It would have been stupid for me to pay him money and then ignore his advice in favor of whatever I wanted to do.

If you truly want to commit to change, you have to go into it with that attitude. You need to truly, truly understand what you’re in for, and then commit yourself ahead of time to doing whatever is necessary.

Quitting smoking, drinking, or drugs is going to be hard. You’re going to want something very badly, and you’re not going to allow yourself to have it — probably ever again.

Dieting is going to be hard. You’re going to have to do it for a long time unless you just have a little bit of weight to lose. Don’t make the fatal mistake of assuming you can exercise a lot and eat how you’re eating now. There’s an expression that says, “You can’t out-train a bad diet,” and it’s 100% true. Make friends with the discomfort you’re going to have to face up front. Think about how hard it’s going to be in all of its gory detail before you begin.

If you fully understand the price of your goals and find yourself waffling, you’re probably best off not even starting to pursue the goal because you’re not going to make it. It’s best to know early if it turns out that you’re not willing to pay the price.

6. Take small steps.

A lot of people talk about crash diets and “bootcamp” exercise programs designed to whip you into shape quickly. I’ve always preferred a steadier approach, and so does Roger. I started in May and hit my low right before Thanksgiving (at which point I took a break, content to maintain my weight loss until I resumed in January). If you’re keeping track, that’s 6 months of dieting to lose 30 pounds, for an average of just over a pound a week.

There are a few reasons I think that moving slowly is a great idea.

For one (and this is obviously specific to fat loss goals), there’s a ton of research showing that the genetic maximum for sustainable weight loss that doesn’t erode away all of your muscle is around 2.5 pounds per week. (It was slower for me because I wasn’t that overweight and already had twenty years of weight training under my belt.)

Second, moving slowly (and this one is true for ANY change) allows you to adjust over time. Rapid changes are jarring. Going back to a weight-loss example, if you suddenly knock all of your favorite foods out of your diet and go from zero to eight gym sessions a week, you’d better have a will of steel if you hope to maintain your regimen. If instead you make slow, daily changes — which, by the way, is the unsexy but startlingly effective tagline of my Everyday Legendary community — you’ll get used to it, and the change will be more sustainable.

Lastly, going slowly is a test of your commitment. Are you in this for the long haul, or are you looking for a quick fix?

Resolutionists are looking for a quick fix, which is why they demand that change be rapid. On some level, they think that if they gut out a diet and an exercise program and GIVE IT THEIR MOTHERFUCKING ALL for a few months, they’ll then be “fixed” forever. That’s idiotic. The only reasons to think that way are 1) if you’re fine with where you started, in which case you shouldn’t bother to change at all, or 2) if you want to go through this all over again next year, after you’ve started smoking again, re-gained the weight, failed at your new business, or whatever.

Don’t look for quick solutions. Instead, shoot for permanent change. Don’t think “a period of fixing followed by business as usual.” Instead, think “creating a new permanent lifestyle.”

So yeah, I had to do a lot of work to lose those thirty pounds, but that doesn’t mean that I’m now “done” and plan to go back to my old caloric intake. Instead, after losing a few more pounds this month, I’ll increase my calories slowly, reach an equilibrium, and then watch what I eat forever. (By the way, that probably sounds like terrible, never-ending drudgery, but it’s not. After six months, you get used to a way of doing things. This no longer takes a lot of will. It’s simply how I operate now.)

So that’s it. That’s how you can make goals and resolutions that have nothing to do with peer pressure or a certain champagne holiday, and actually make the changes you want to make.

Doesn’t that sound better than doing what a calendar tells you?

AWESOME BONUS SEXY OFFER: If you’d like to hear the details of my six-pack-abs quest, my trainer Roger and I are recording a video lesson together for my Everyday Legendary community in which we’ll break down exactly what he had me do. (I also already recorded a lesson detailing my own habits and tips, and that one is already inside of EL.) There’s nothing magic to any of what we’ll discuss — and certainly no easy buttons — but if you’d like to check it out, now’s a great time to join Everyday Legendary.

Ugh.

Why is that the way I’ve increasingly felt about the holidays? Because man, that’s not fucking cool. Christmas used to be awesome. There was all this anticipation and magic and specialness once upon a time, and I looked forward to that one day for the other 364, and then Christmas day arrived and it was nothing but excitement and fun times and bliss.

But then at some point, Christmas — and this is especially true if you celebrate Christmas, though the other folks definitely get plenty of shit shrapnel too — the season started to be about stress and manipulation. It became uncool.

Who stole Christmas from me, and why? What kind of a mean prick would steal Christmas, other than that green guy? (You know who I’m talking about. The Hulk, that’s who.)

But someone or something did steal it, and this year, the fact of that crime has really begun to work on me.

It all started when I noticed that this year, as in the past few years, the stores started putting up Christmas decorations and playing Musak Christmas carols over the speakers well before Halloween. That got me thinking. Why do they do that? And the answer is to get people spending earlier. Why else do they do that? Because after people spend early, they’ll then have two months to think about how they could also buy something else. And something else. And something else.

Then, around Thanksgiving, Robin and I started to make our Christmas lists — not lists of things we wanted, but lists of things we should get for other people.

We bought a few items and crossed those people off the list. Then we started asking ourselves questions: Wait… did we spend enough on this person? I mean, we spent $75 on that other person, so we should really get something else for the $50 person, right? Notice that there is no element of need or desire in this internal dialogue. It’s just about dollars. If we were to buy the $50 person a $25 item to level the scales even if it was something they didn’t need, that seemed like a sensible thing to do.

Further down the list, we got to my grandmothers, who are both in senior communities and live in small apartments. These ladies actively try to give things to me whenever I see them, because they see their days growing short and want to distribute possessions rather than accumulate them. Ditto for my “spartan artist” dad, minus the senior community and a few decades. But I’ve got to get them all something, right? Because that’s what Christmas is about?

My grandfather is hard. So is Robin’s brother. We usually end up getting gift cards for these people because they can never tell us something specific they need. Usually someone gives more than they receive. I figure we might as well make things easier, so rather than Person A giving Person B a $50 gift card and Person B giving Person A a $75 gift card, it’d be so much easier for Person B to just give Person A $25 in cash to account for the difference.

Here’s the balance I owe you from our usual transaction. Merry fucking Christmas.

For Robin’s dad Frank — and I swear I’m not kidding about this — her mother routinely takes something that Frank has bought for himself and wraps it. Then we pay her whatever that thing cost.

And hey, giving is the easy part. The hard part is when people start asking us what we want.

Hell, I don’t know. I’m 36. I make a good living. When I want stuff these days, I buy it. I don’t keep a list of things I’ve got to have and then deliberately not get it so that someone else can.

So I’m like, I don’t know… a book light for my Kindle? A new alarm clock? A few pairs of jeans? Austin has a full list, so I let his spill onto mine. I told my mom to get me Super Mario Galaxy 2, and justified it by saying that Austin and I play it together. The things we really want are huge. Does anyone want to get us a trip to Disneyworld? My car is getting old. Anyone want to buy us a new one? Other fun things that we’ve gotten in past years: tires for Robin’s car, tires for my car, money toward an iPad that wouldn’t be released until March.

You know what? The holidays used to be awesome. Parts of them still are, but parts of them are beyond idiotic. It’s like all of our hearts were in the right place, but then someone went to that place because that’s where the hearts were stored, and took them. Then that asswipe twisted our hearts and told us that nobody wants a heart as a gift. What they want is the George Foreman Grill, and you’re a jerk if you don’t buy it for them.

The problem is that it’s become about forced consumption. What we’ve been doing is essentially a con game wherein we all hoodwink each other into buying things for each other that none of us would normally bother to get for ourselves.

Example.

I don’t need a light for my Kindle. I don’t need Super Mario Galaxy 2. I don’t need The Dark Knight Rises on DVD. Sure, I’d like them and sure, I’ll take them, and sure, I’ll be pleased when I get them. But I don’t NEED them, and in a sane world, I wouldn’t buy a lot of those things because I actually have some impulse control. What our current arrangement does is to remove that impulse control by passing the impulse onto someone else.

Oh, hell, he MIGHT like that DVD? Well then I’M GOING TO BUY IT AND NOBODY ELSE TAKE THAT IDEA BECAUSE IT’S MINE!

And then I’ve got to reciprocate. Sure, I had some impulse control about my own stuff, but how can I not buy something for someone when they’re so selflessly indulging my most vague consumerist impulses for me?

A few years ago, I told Robin, “Let’s not exchange gifts.”

It’s stupid to do so just because everyone else is doing it. I mean, we share a fucking bank account. She’d be buying me something with my own money, and I’d be buying her something with her money. We’d do it because something has told us that we have to consume in preparation for one specific day, despite the fact that we get stuff for each other all the time. We’d end up with two things we wouldn’t otherwise have purchased, and be out the money for both. Why? Because someone convinced us that we’re bad, careless, mean people if we don’t?

And you know what? That conditioning worked. For a few years, we kept buying things for each other, despite the idiocy of feeling that one particular day was more worthy of gift-giving than any other.

But this year, we’re not exchanging gifts. I told her, “The things I actually want from you cost nothing.” I then told her that I’m getting something, but that she shouldn’t retaliate because my idea is kind of for both of us. Then I told her that it’s nothing sexual because she gets nervous when I say things like that.

My brother and sister and I figured this out a few years ago, too. We all have good jobs. We get together for the holidays and have fun times (EX: a Christmas tree ornament at my mom’s house called “Constipated Santa” — see image at the top of this post wherein C.S. says, “Ho-ho-ho-ly shit am I fucked up”), and we could never think of anything to buy each other that we’d actually use or want. So we ditched it. They buy for my kids, and when they have kids, we’ll buy for theirs.

I told Robin that my dad would totally be into this. She wasn’t sure. I told her that my dad is the most outside-the-nine-dots motherfucker you ever did see. Then I told him what I had in mind, that we not exchange gifts, and he said, “Oh, thank God.” Then he thanked me several times during the course of the phone call that followed.

We’re not minimalists. We buy for our kids, and others buy for our kids, and we buy for others, and others will buy for us. I appreciate the sentiment behind all of it, which is, “It’s the thought that counts,” but lately I’ve been wondering something: If it truly is the thought that counts, why do we have to spend a bunch of money to buy stuff?

I haven’t tried the quasi-minimalist approach with people who I don’t think would really feel it, but maybe I will next year.

Can we just get together? Can we just enjoy each others’ company? Can we spend less time in stores and online and more time de-stressing over some egg nog?

I bought one of my grandmothers chocolate and bought the other some nice coffee. It’s all they want. They keep saying, “Don’t buy me stuff!” They don’t want more things. They want attention. They want a phone call. They want a visit. It’s like I told Robin; the things most of us want more than anything really do cost nothing.

What’s pretty cool is that my kids are apparently catching the vibe. My son, who is 8, kept insisting that he wanted to buy me something. You know, his two dollars a week versus my slightly larger income, to buy something I’d routinely buy for myself. Want to buy new tires for the van, son? So I thanked him very much for the thought, but told him that if he really wanted to get me something, I’d like one of the things he makes himself. Because it’s the thought that counts… and what kind of gift comes with more thought?

I’m not judging on any of this. It’s just something that’s been on my mind.

If you want to do the whole Christmas consumerist shebang, then bless you; go out and do it. But as with anything, just know what it is that you’re doing. Are you buying that thing for Aunt Sally because she actually wants and needs it? Or are you buying it because something or someone told you that you had to or you’re a… what’s that green guy’s name again? Oh yeah…. you’re an Oscar.

Something to think about.

Happy holidays, y’all.

NOTE: This post is for writers. If you’re not a writer, you may choose to skip this one… but come back soon, because you’re going to love my next post.

–

Last month, I wrote about how I took my book Fat Vampire from raw idea to publication in 29 days.

Then, last night, just four weeks later, I published the sequel: Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken.

Now, maybe that seems impressive, finishing two big tasks in two small timeframes, but this isn’t about speed — and it’s certainly not about me trying to impress anyone. I’m not trying to break any records. What I’m trying to do — what I’ve finally done, after twelve years of creative stagnation — is to break through a bottleneck that frustrates a lot of writers.

In other words, maybe some of the stuff that helped get me unstuck can help you — regardless of how long you take to publish your book.

And so I figured I’d share fourteen tips that I’ve learned through trial and error and experimentation. Maybe you can take something from what I’ve learned and use it to create your own awesome thing.

Now, I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination… but I’m certainly getting better, and maybe you can take something useful from my experience.

Let’s find out.

Tip #1: Do the work

I’ve attributed this idea to Steven Pressfield over and over in the past, but let us not forget that the great sage Billy Crystal also said in the theatrical masterpiece Throw Momma From the Train, “A writer writes, always.”

It’s true. You’d never run into a welder who’s never actually welded anything, but you run into writers all the time who don’t write. So let’s get something out of the way that I would think should be obvious: you don’t get to call yourself a writer if you aren’t putting your ass into a chair on a regular basis and writing.

Stop treating it like it’s a delicate art. Sit. Write. Do the fucking work. End of story.

Tip #2: Write fast

I think it’s a mistake to agonize over every word in a rough draft. Getting words perfect is what second, third, and fourth drafts are for.

Stephen King says in On Writing (which every writer should read), “Writing fiction… can be a difficult, lonely job; it’s like crossing the Atlantic Ocean in a bathtub. There’s plenty of opportunity for self doubt.” I totally agree. You have to force yourself to get the story OUT in the first draft and to worry about making it better later on. If you write slowly, you’ll get mired in one place and will succumb to doubt and second-guessing.

I believe that writing a first draft is mostly a subconscious thing, and that your critical mind has no business butting in while your story is being formed.

Tip #3: Write thin, then fill in the details later

Feel free to ignore this tip (or any of them) because everyone is different, but I suggest writing the bare bones of your story first and then filling those bare bones in during subsequent drafts.

I used to write a TON during the first draft and then rely on rewrites to cut out the fluff, but I’ve found that this is a mistake. If I need 120k words in the end, I used to plan to write 150k words and cut out 30k. If I did that, it was hard to find the story in all that padding — like searching for a needle in a haystack. But if instead I write 100k words and then add a net 20k during rewrites (which might mean eliminating 20k of fluff and adding 40k of new clarifying/detail scenes), I find I can keep the story in focus.

Cluttered first drafts lose me while I’m writing and frustrate me when I’m editing. Think of it this way: In the first draft, your job is to tell yourself the story, and in the second draft, your job is to tell others the story. How much detail do YOU really need in order to understand the story enough to write a second draft?

Tip #4: Get over yourself

If you can’t produce anything, stop worrying so much about being Ernest Fucking Hemingway and just tell the story. When you try to be impressive and poignant and meaningful in a first draft, you usually end up looking like a pompous assbag and risk losing the story due to all of the hot air. See tip #2 above.

Tip #5: Understand that your voice is your voice — not somebody else’s

All writers read, and we can’t help but be influenced by what we read, so we tend to ape the styles we enjoy. You like Ray Bradbury? You’ll try to write like Ray. You like Michael Chabon? You’ll try to write like Michael. This stuff isn’t even conscious, but you’ll see it when you start wondering if you “should do” something stylistic or thematic. But the thing is, Michael doesn’t sound like Ray doesn’t sound like Chuck Palahniuk, so what does that tell you?

Good writers have unique voices, and you have to learn to trust yourself to find yours. So be careful which “writing rules” you obey.

Tip #6: Practice

Voice is just one of the things in writing that takes time to learn and to develop. A few of the others are pacing, the feel of dialogue, correct use of point-of-view, and how much to reveal at what times. The bad news is that there is no shortcut to learning those things, and that you have no choice but to keep writing (see tip #1) to clear the pipes until you begin to improve.

Check out this 2-minute video of Ira Glass talking about the creative process. It pretty much says it all:

Tip #7: Accept that you will probably despair and hate your work at some point in the process

Hugh Howey, blockbuster bestselling author of the Wool series, told us on the Self Publishing Podcast that he alternates liking and hating his stories as he takes them through different drafts. I was so glad to hear him say that, because I do the same. I’m very happy with the final versions of my books, but there were distinct times during editing all of them that I thought what I’d written was hopeless and terrible.

Push thorough this feeling. It’s destructive. First and even second drafts are allowed to be kind of ugly as long as the core of the story is there. And yes, what you’ve written may suck… but it’s equally likely that if you keep working and refining in spite of your doubts, you may find that you start liking it again.

(Note: This cycle may repeat. Don’t think you won’t hate it again eventually just because you liked it once.)

Tip #8: Tell the damn story

It’s amazing how tempting it can be to vanish into a character’s head or into an interesting scene and forget that the people in your story are supposed to actually be doing something. This was probably my biggest issue during my decade of lost production, wherein I constantly mistook situation for plot.

So for instance, Fat Vampire could have been about a guy who was turned into a vampire and finds himself forever physically unfit. That’s amusing, but it doesn’t go anywhere. The story had to move from A to Z. Reginald had to have a task or a quest, and he had to complete it or overcome it.

Think of it this way: There’s a famous story about how the movie Speed was pitched as “Die Hard on a bus” — but there are TWO elements to that statement. You can’t just have a Die Hard type of setup. That’s just a situation, or a setting. In order for the film to work, you need to have the plot, too — which is the action that occurs on the bus.

(P.S: This is true even if you aren’t writing novels with a lot of action. Jane Austen novels aren’t exactly a thrill a minute, but clearly something still HAPPENS in those books.)

Tip #9: Have faith that your story will find itself

I used to write without an outline (“pantsing,” so-called because you operate by the seat of your pants), and my podcast partners Sean and Dave do the opposite (“plotting” = working from an outline). I’ve learned that I work best somewhere in the middle. I create a few bullet points and have a decent idea where the story will end up, but I don’t write out every detail ahead of time. But regardless of whether you pants or plot, you will find that there will always be points at which the story will stray from your plans and begin to make itself. Your job is to let it.

I can think of three huge plot points in Fat Vampire 2 that I honestly didn’t know were coming… and the crazy thing is that those plot points were set up and foreshadowed in the first book, before I even knew there would be a sequel. This kind of thing will happen more and more as you write faster and learn to trust yourself.

Tip #10: Don’t overexplain

Most beginning writers explain things to death because they fear being misunderstood. I get it. I’ve been there. But consider this: another great Stephen King quote from On Writing goes like this: “Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s.” What that means is that a little bit can go a long way.

When a character enters a room, you don’t need to go through a laundry list of exactly what the room looks like and how many coins are on the dresser. Describing a room simply as “cluttered” will often do the trick. And as a bonus, your fiction will feel more real because you’ve given the reader freedom to provide her own picture of a cluttered room, rather than imposing your vision onto her.

And the “story writing itself” stuff from #9 above? That happens when you give it room to happen. Don’t feel the need to explain every detail of how things work or why they happen in your story. Tell what’s relevant, and keep the rest to yourself.

I’m really glad I learned this one, because the ending of Fat Vampire 2 depends entirely on my decision NOT to include certain explanations in Fat Vampire. I didn’t know that at the time, though… and if I had overexplained my world in the first book, I’d have been screwed when I needed a solution at the end of the sequel.

Tip #11: Omit needless words

This one comes from Strunk and White and is the natural follow-up to tip #10. It says that if you can eliminate words and not lose any real meaning, do it. Most writers resist this, and their thinking goes like this: “Every brush stroke in my art is vital, because it is my art.”

Well, good for you, but your readers may disagree. Loose, flowery writing tends to feel bloated and sluggish to readers, and no matter how literary you feel you are, it’s true more often than not that tight prose will provide a better experience for readers. Your precious extraneous words don’t mean shit to them.

Omit needless words in sentences. Omit paragraphs you can do without.

It’s true that a lot of words that are technically unnecessary end up being part of your “voice”…. but a lot of them are just slowing your readers down, so err on the side of editing too much rather than not enough.

Tip #12: When you write, vanish from the world entirely

You can read all about this one in this post, in “Way #10.” You need to take your writing seriously if you expect to get anywhere. When you write, unplug the phone, close the door, and wear headphones if you’re able. Ignore the world. You’ll be back to it soon enough.

Tip #13: Use the right tools

If I had to write again using Microsoft Word, I’d knife myself in the eye. Do yourself a favor and download the Mac or PC version of Scrivener, the best writing software ever. (Go ahead and try it — you have nothing to lose because it gives you a free trial. And yeah, you bet your ass that’s an affiliate link. I want to marry Scrivener and have its children.)

Not only is Scrivener spectacular to use, but I consider it flat-out necessary for modern publishing to any format other than an inkjet printer. If you use Word or most other software to try and produce .mobi (Kindle) or .epub (everyone else) files, you’re begging for a strong compulsion to fork yourself in the eye. I painstakingly converted The Bialy Pimps from Word to Scrivener so that I could publish it without the internet blowing up. Don’t make the same mistake as I did.

Tip #14: Get the right support

Writing is lonely. You need reasons to believe in what you’re doing, and people to hang onto when your faith wavers, which it will. So find yourself a writers’ group — virtual or in-person — and meet regularly.

You also absolutely must subscribe to the Self Publishing Podcast (look for it on iTunes, Stitcher, and in other directories) so that you can regularly hear from guys who are making a living at this (Sean and Dave) and a guy who’s getting there (me). I find that I get inspired when I listen, and I’m one-third of the show. I guess I impress myself with my insights.

And if you want some real mind-supercharging and accountability, you might also consider joining my Everyday Legendary community. There’s a bunch of writers in there, and they form accountability groups in the forums. You’ll also be surrounding yourself with forward-thinking, possibility-oriented, optimistic people instead of downer assholes. So think about that, too.

Now, obviously some of the above tips may not fit with you, your personality, or the way you write. That’s cool. But seeing as it’s all stuff I’ve had to learn over time and have found useful, I figured it’d be jerky of me not to share it with you. Who knows; might help you come unstuck if you’re stuck, or get supercharged if you’re already rolling.

Use it well. Practice. And do the work.

(Oh, and pick up Fat Vampire and Fat Vampire 2. They’re both awesome. I should know. I wrote them.)