Romans 12:1-2 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. ² And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

What is the one thing that keeps you from stepping out toward the big dream you have?

What if that one thing was removed from your path?  Would you step forward?  Or would you find one more thing that’s keeping you from taking that step?

As I have listened to women talk about their dreams of what is still ahead in life there is often a sadness; a focus on “if only”.  Sometimes that ‘if only’ is tied to an event in the past.  Sometimes that ‘if only’ is attached to an expected outcome.  Both are rocks in the path that cause them to stumble.

We do not live in the past.  We do not know the future.  We live in the gift of this moment; the present.

The events of our past may legitimately be terrible experiences.  We may have scars to prove it.  If we stay focused on the ‘if only’ we are clinging to a false sense of reality and denying the sovereignty of God.  Boom.  That’s harsh but true.  How do we let go of the past?

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

I’m not saying pretend that bad things didn’t or won’t happen.  I’m saying put the true bad things in the Hands of the One who saw and has the power to redeem.  And then LET GO.

Clinging to the past keeps us from having open hands to the present.

What if your issue is looking ahead and anticipating the bad things, the stumbling blocks that could be or might be in your path?  The opposite side of hanging on to the past is worry about the unknowns of the future.  What do you do if you’re plagued with worry?

The answer is still the same: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Renewal comes from God.  His Word is life, truth, light to our path.  Get in It.

Well-intentioned, faithful women (I include me in this) have stumbled again and again in similar ways.  What keeps us from simply being renewed? From simply doing the work of verse memory? From living out what we say we believe?  From trust that God will come through?

Mindset. 

It’s the familiar path your thoughts take when you are faced with something new.

Stop for a minute and think about how you talk to yourself (either aloud or in your head)

Are you loving and encouraging in the face of mistakes or unknowns?  Or are your words harsh, critical and demeaning?  Do you say things to yourself you would NEVER say to a friend or a child?  If your mindset is a negative one, you set yourself up for discouragement and setbacks time and again.

The work of changing your mindset needs external support.  Talking out your dreams and aspirations and facing the real or perceived rocks in your path can help you in the work of transformation.  That’s what I do.  As a Christian Life Coach my role in my clients’ lives is to listen and ask questions; questions that help each client clarify what is their next step to take.  I have the distinct privilege of sitting with a woman, prayerfully listening for God’s wisdom for that woman and asking the question that causes them to ponder below the surface of the everyday.

“Knowing what is right is like deep water in the heart; a wise person draws from the well within.” (Proverbs 20:5 The Message)

Let go of the past.  Look forward with joyful anticipation.  Live in the present.

Sound too good to be true?  Let’s talk.

]]> http://www.learningalongtheway.com/wp/2013/05/16/be-transformed-2/feed/ 0 http://www.learningalongtheway.com/wp/2013/05/08/life-lessons-learning-in-the-classroom-of-mom/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=life-lessons-learning-in-the-classroom-of-mom http://www.learningalongtheway.com/wp/2013/05/08/life-lessons-learning-in-the-classroom-of-mom/#comments Wed, 08 May 2013 15:19:02 +0000 Lisa http://www.learningalongtheway.com/wp/?p=1393 Have you ever stopped to take inventory of what you life lessons you’ve learned from your Mom?  I don’t mean the lessons where she told you “I want you to know how to do this”.  I mean the lessons that were “caught” not “taught”.

I have.  They are many.  I confess I am not as good at them as she was in doing them.  But I learned from her the most important value.

Invest in people.

My Mom was an Educator.  She taught English and Journalism and Leadership.  She inspired students to go to college; to step out of their comfort zones; to dare to go beyond what they thought they could do.

She invested in her colleagues in the same way.  She gave without asking for any favors in return.  When she was in charge as a high school principal she made sure others had opportunities to step forward in their careers.

She invested.  I watched.  I learned.

She built up her teaching staff through involvement in site and district wide professional development.  Life long learning was something she modeled and preached.

She invested.  I watched.  I learned.

My Mom loved her friends.  She invested herself in life long friendships. This particular group were friends in college. They laughed. They cried. They traveled. They remained friends to the end. The three of this group who remain all came alongside me during my time of grief.

She invested.  I watched.  I hope I have learned.

My Mom LOVED her grandsons.  She invested in them. Every. opportunity. she. had.  She read to them.  She played with them.  She encouraged their imaginations.  She fostered their creativity.  She taught them about far away places. She took them there.  She inspired them to be great men.

She invested.  I watched.  I was blessed.

In the desire for balance in all things, I would be remiss if I did not account for the life lessons my Mom showed me.  I learned to push past my fears and hardships to take steps forward in ways many others have not been encouraged to do in their own lives.  I definitely would not be the woman I am without the influence of my Mother.  God knew what He was about in the design of this woman who was my Mother.  He knew what I needed to be able to grow and change; to learn to be my utmost for His highest.

I am still learning in the classroom of Mom.

What about you?  What is one life lesson you’ve caught from your Mom?

What is it about Mother’s Day that was always so painful?

My mother didn’t “get” me. 

I wasn’t easy. 

I talked a lot. 

And then was broken.

Through my brokenness I needed.

She had nothing to give.

Her own brokenness had been pushed away and put away, never to be fully faced but always to be lived out of; embittered, angry, and impatient with anyone who asked of her more than what she was willing to offer.

That was me.

Empty, needy and hurting I wanted her…

comfort, understanding, time, presence.

A skinned knee—“Bactine and Band Aids are in the cupboard”

A hurt and misunderstood heart—“Life’s not fair, get over it.”

A listening ear—“I don’t have time to listen to your whining!”

What a child sees and hears may not be all of the reality that is being lived out.  Children lack the skills to see beyond the responses; but the words bore deep into the forming soul.

As I seek deep healing from the One who gave it all, I look back and see her differently:

A wounded heart that had not sought the Master’s touch to heal

A broken girl trying to achieve acceptance in the world

A neglected woman working to earn favor in the workplace

A mother of two broken children: frustrated, without resources, believing lies

As I come to this Mother’s Day, I come with renewed perspective.

Eucharisteo

I give thanks for the dark graces of my childhood

To see them as scars, no longer wounds.

To rejoice in the fellowship of His sufferings, knowing full well that all I walked through He walked with me, although unknown to me at the time.

He touches the places of the deep bore-holes and peace enters in.

I am loved as I am.

I am seen for Whose I am.

I am accepted because He was forsaken.

Because I am learning to see my life through the redeeming work of the Cross, I am able to say what is and truly forgive.  How can I not when I have been forgiven all?

She is gone 6 years now.  I wish I knew then what I know now.  I would take a do-over pass if offered.

I would love to show her grace.  I would love to say I’m sorry for all her pain and sorrow.  But I can’t.

Don’t let the past dictate your present.  Let it go.  Forgive.

Receive the gift, the grace given

Give thanks

The result?

Joy

I’ll tell you what, this book has been a fantastic, easy to read, and transformational tool that God has used in my life. No exaggeration.  I would love all my friends and their friends and their friends’ friends to be able to read and interact with other women about this book. It’s that good. Really. That good.

Listen to these questions Kim asks:

• Do you feel overworked, overwhelmed and unfulfilled?
• Do you ever wonder if you are missing out on God’s best?
• Do you know and live out the purpose God has for YOU?

I asked Kim if I could offer a book group using Uniquely You.  She said Yes!  I’m so excited to be able to offer YOU a group!  There are a couple of different opportunities to connect.  I am offering two group options during the month of May:

Each group will meet all 5 Fridays for one hour either

• 1) in the mid-morning at my office, or

• 2) at noon PST on the phone through my bridge line (you can be anywhere!)

This book is easily read and discussed in a small group of about 5.  It will take you a personal time commitment of 10 minutes a day each week.  The book is written to be read in a 4 week format.  I want to offer the discussion group for 5 weeks to give enough discussion and processing time.  At the end of the book, you will have the option of a personal coaching session with me to allow you time for “What’s Next” after all you learn about yourself during our group time and through your individual reading times.

Interested?  Want to know particulars?

Leave a comment below; email me through my website; message me on Facebook; direct message me through Twitter, or simply call me!

You need to act quickly because of both limits of space (5 in a group) and time (to order the books!)

Depending on the number of women interested, I am considering offering the group again during the summer.  If your schedule prevents you from participating in either of these two times in May let me know.

And as if this wasn’t enough of a payoff for lost sleep, I was blessed with another image I’ll share below.  But I have to tell you about it before I show you.

A few years ago I read a terrific book by Mark Batterson, titled Wild Goose Chase.  I won’t give it away but suffice it to say the title is the English translation of the Celtic term for the Holy Spirit: An Geadh-Glas.  The book truly is a tool the Wild Goose used to open the eyes of my heart in new ways to see His work in and through me.  Read it.

This pond above is at a local retreat facility where I had the privilege of spending the weekend speaking to a fabulous community of women.  They chose Col. 3:12-17  for their key verses and I had the task of sharing about God and His transforming work.  Even the process of getting to the retreat was evidence of God at work: our one car had to be in the shop and I was without transportation.  One of the lovely women from my own church community graciously offered me their car for the trip. God is in the details people.

The photo above was taken Sunday morning, after my offerings of 4 talks centered on the chosen passage.  What a gift this early morning was.  How does this tie into Batterson’s book. you ask?  In his book he encourages, well challenges, Christ followers to trust God in bigger ways.  For me the immediate trust was what He wanted me to say of my life’s brokenness to demonstrate His transformation power to these women.

It was hard to walk back through dark places.  It was emotionally painful for me.  But it was what God called me to.

When the sun rose on Sunday morning I was up.  And when I went outside, seeing the sight above, I heard an unusual bird calling.  And I looked over and saw…

A Canadian goose and her gander.  They had stopped off on their way back north.  I wept.  Following the Wild Goose this weekend, women were encouraged in Christ’s work in their lives.  I was humbled to have been a part.

I want to follow this Wild Goose wherever He leads!

Legos have step by step wordless directions.

Architects listen to customers and go to their drawing boards (well, now it’s computers) to draw out the picture of the customer’s ideas before the building begins.

God, who is the ultimate architect, had vision for this Creation.  He has vision for you, too.

I have the privilege of speaking at a women’s retreat this weekend. I appreciate prayer.  The architects of the retreat have a plan. They cast the vision for me.  They gave me the outline.  Today the vision will become reality.  I’m really excited and privileged to be with these women whom I have not yet met.  Their hearts for God, their desire for community, inspire me.

Have you ever thought about what God’s vision is for you?  Next week I am going to share a vision for the future, your future, and I will invite you to join me in making reality.  Intrigued?  I hope so!

Check back next week!

Then as I looked again, I started to notice the items outside: the ladder, the bicycle flag, the galvanized planter, the arrangement of pots on the sill.  The ladder was really used to paint many walls over many years by my grandfather.  It was in his garage and after he went on to be with the Lord, I asked my Dad for it. He was worried that it was not sturdy enough; “Don’t you want a newer metal ladder?” No, I had a plan.  That was 15 years ago before garden art was trendy. I saw something else: a way to remember and honor my grandfather and create something of beauty. But I digress.

Each of those items outside has a story attached.  After my Mom passed away, my dear friend Melissa took care of our plants and pets for a time while we were away.  I came home to a lovely vignette of potted plants that she had potted and arranged to bless me.  That was 6 years ago.  The view still blesses me.

I am currently reading a book about seeing.  Not how we see like a science book but what we perceive as we see the everyday.  It’s called Windows of the Soul, by Ken Gire.  It was published in 1996.  Not a new book, but new to me.  As is his premise: the circumstances of life are never just about what you see.

Perspective is everything.  But shifting our perspective can be hard.  Sometimes it takes the eyes and perspective of another to help us see what is; to see the same circumstance from a different view.

There have been many who have helped me see differently.  I need that; seeing differently.  Through much adjusting and much practice my morning view takes in far more than what I see in front of me.  But that adjusting and practice has taken time and effort.  A new way of seeing is the result of long term investment.

Are you in need of a new view?  Invest in your growth and personal development.  Time, focus, prayer are all tools that you have access to right now.

The one thing that may be missing: an encouraging voice and another set of eyes.  A voice to cheer you on, to see what is without the perspective that may be holding you back from seeing all that there is about you.

You need a coach.

Or maybe you have a vision of what can be… but aren’t sure How?

This road sign is a reminder to me…I don’t have to figure it all out at once.  There is One who knows and gives me pieces of the puzzle, the picture that will one day be complete.

I don’t have to work harder, or be smarter, or achieve more, or do be do be do!  I need to give way. I need to yield.

The sign says it all.

Yield

To what? To whom?

That is part of the discovery of the Why You are Here question.

The rest of the sign tells the rest of the story.

ONE WAY

Jesus said, “Let anybody who is discontent, unhappy, who has unfulfilled potential — Let them come to Me.”  John 7:37

Sometimes, no, most times, there are questions.  How does this faith walk work? How do I get started? Get clarity? Start over? And so many more…

Having someone to ask the questions of, who will come alongside you, not telling you what you should do, but listening and drawing out the puzzle pieces already inside you, is SO HELPFUL!

That’s what my life coach did for me.  And continues to.  These times with her have been so helpful for me as I have stepped out of one season of life and into the next.  Her wisdom and grace has helped me step into the role of a life coach for others myself.  Now I have the privilege of spending time listening and asking questions that help another woman find the answers that are needed in her life.

As a follower of Christ, I go to Him first for my client, asking Him to help me listen well, to have His wisdom for this woman and to get me out of the Way so He can work in her life.

Life is such an adventure!  There are challenges and joys all mixed in.  A coach can help you keep your eyes on the Way and can help you see the Light for your next step.

I would LOVE to talk with you about what coaching can look like in your life; we are all unique so our journey and needs are different too.  Click over here to contact me about your free, introductory coaching session.

Learning along the Way is what life is all about from my vantage point.  Join me!

(photo credit: aaroads)

I feel … inferior

What makes me hide?

What makes me think trying harder will make me better; more lovable; more worthy?

A week after the Resurrection celebration

I am fearful like the first disciples

I light my candle

nestled in the protection of the glass jar

etched with FAITH

FAITH keeps the light inside

from going out

FAITH in Christ’s finished work

FAITH in Christ’s work being born out in me

FAITH in Christ’s continuing work in me, in others

FAITH in the Truth He’s coming back for me

Second Chances. We serve a God Who is all about forgiveness, repentance and second chances. How wonderful to demonstrate these truths in our relationships.

What would your home be like if you lived by this list?

What would our friendships be like?

Our work relationships? Neighborhoods? Churches?

We can’t live like this in our own strength. We want our way. If we’re wronged we want justice. We want someone to step toward us first.

Who do you need to offer a second chance to? Who do you need to ask for a second chance from? What can you do today?