Why not encourage your future Chanel makers to use the real materials to manufacture the next big scent for the market? And they will learn science at the same time. The loving gifts offered up to parents will be safe to wear. So everybody wins.

Scientific Explorer has just the rub in the Perfumery Kit which contains all the ingrediance necessary to concoct award-winning fragrances that will please friends and save parents from ghastly skin rashes.

Available for $24.95 at BrainWaves Educational Toys with Free Gift Wrapping, it’ll make a perfect surprise gift that will be remembered for many years.

* Olfactory is not a building where they make Ols. It describes the biological sensory system we use to detect odors!

Chem C500 will will lead children ages 8 and up (with adult supervision) on an introductory tour through seven main areas in chemistry by using more than 30 classic experiments. This kit will be pulled out over and over again for many years of learning and fun!

• Perform astonishing “magic” tricks that will impress parents and friends.
• Learn the “why” behind reactions between solids, liquids, and gases.
• Explore and discover the colorful effects of acids and bases.
• With a 9-volt battery (not included) they will investigate metals and salts in electro chemical experiments.
• Learn how chemistry goes far beyond and understand occurrences that happen around us every day.
• The colorful experiment manual details simple instructions for performing each experiment and then clear explanations of what happened and why.

Available at $34.99 at Brainwaves Educational Toys, this kit is ideal for kids who are interested in chemistry but who are not yet ready for a more advanced chemistry set. It is an excellent introduction to the more advanced chemistry kits you’ll find at Brainwaves Educational Toys.

Christmas is an incredibly vulnerable time for children. Think of it as judgment day lived out every year. If they were good, they can expect riches beyond their wildest imaginations. If not, coal.

There is a lot of anxiety wrapped up in that precious morning, so the last thing you want to do is ruin it with nightmare-inducing product that will cause the child to question far more than the existence of Santa. Here are a few toys you might want to avoid, unless your child has ever made a cameo appearance on The Adams Family.

Sure, the concept sounds great – mix and match human and animal body parts to create… wait, no, that sounds awful. Yes, the image you see to your left is as you suspect – a decapitated, legless torso impaled upon a plastic figurine cow with baby arms for horns. It’s like Dr. Moreau got hopped up on PCP and joined a demonic cult of doll makers.

Maybe your 6-year-old is into freakish, misconfigured flesh dolls and happened to be the primary source for the entire Omen movie series; however, if that is not the case, and you have no intention of causing your child to wet him or herself well into their early 20’s, you might want to reconsider purchasing a toy whose sole feature is disfigurement.

Side Note: I would totally love one of these.

Perfect for bringing comfort to children mourning the loss of a pet, Dead Pets go so far as to recreate memories with features including “Tire Tracks on the Kitty”. Tag line includes “They’ll never run away.”

Handing one of these to a child is actually accepted as a cover charge into Dante’s 7th Circle of Hell, reserved for those who were “violent to Nature and God”.

To make matters worse, if one took Amazon’s recommended products, the kids would also be unwrapping books and cards “Grieving with the Loss of a Pet.”
Confusing message? Perhaps you need a therapist, or a visit here.

Finally, fans of gruesome homicide (8 years and up) can have their own sinister murder weapon, just like the one used by the Demon Barber of Fleet Street himself! This movie-accurate replica from Tim Burton’s lively horror musical dysfunction love story “Sweeney Todd” lets kids role play one of the most lovable mass murderers in popular history. (Hey Dad, want a haircut? Now, about that allowance…)

No mere plastic toy, the ten inch (!) blade comes stamped “Hand Made Surgical Steel Crafted in China” and includes a lovely velvet draw string pouch.

Best of all, we love Amazon’s safety warnings:
CHOKING HAZARD — Toy contains a marble. Not for children under 3 yes.
CHOKING HAZARD — Children under 8 yes. can choke or suffocate on uninflated or broken balloons. Adult supervision required. Keep uninflated balloons from children. Discard broken balloons at once.

Yeah, thanks Amazon. Wouldn’t want Timmy slipping on a marble with the murderous razor in his hands. What crazy parent gives marbles and balloons to a kid, anyway?

Buying your child this gift will have Chris Hanson on your doorstep faster than Michael Jackson (too soon?).

While Predator Hands do seem like an awesome toy, it could probably lead to some mental break downs or calls from the FBI. Even worse, if your kid gets upset that he didn’t receive the much coveted Hulk Hands, his school teacher may have difficulty overlooking comments like “daddy’s predator hands ruined my Christmas”.

Trust me, there is no way this ends well.

Ballet not exciting enough for your child? Step it up a notch with this miniature stripper pole kit! Great for birthday parties!
Package 1 (hoax or real?) come with stripping music CD, fake tipping money, a pole and dress up accessories.

Package 2  includes an extendable stripper pole, a sexy dance garter, and a DVD that teaches the viewer how to remove their clothes.

States the description: “Unleash the sex kitten inside…simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go! Soon you’ll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars.”
Manufacturer Tesco agreed to move the product from the Toy section of its site to the category of “fitness accessory.” Safe family fun?

Let’s assume for a second, and I say assume because there is strong evidence to the contrary that the SubSkate by SwimWays actually worked… that is, somehow this magical device allows your child to “skateboard” under the “water” without “dying” of “asphyxiation” and “cerebral hypoxia”.

I’m just saying, if that was the case, this could be a really awesome toy, you know.

What’s wrong with a kid developing a healthy fear of water and painful choking death?

The only thing worse than constantly obsessing over one or two cats is owning an entire fleet of felines.

This gift will not only teach your child that it’s okay to own 6 cats, but it will also more than likely instill in them the determination to own more.

Before you know it your son or daughter will be bringing strays home from school. These strays will breed and you will have more cats. The cycle will continue until your child has become an exact replica of this innocent toy you bought them years earlier.

Any positive association with cock blocking is wrong.

It is a crime against humanity, civilization, and all forms of manly law.

Subconsciously as your son or daughter plays with the cockblocs set, they will begin to find pleasure in its existence.

In college they will begin to play the third wheel for spite. They will be roommate that comes in when they see a tie on the door knob. In essence you will be at fault for turning your child into the ultimate cock block: the one that everyone will hate for life.

Make death and destruction an educational experience with a Tsunami activity set. Complete with miniature town homes and following economic crisis.

Science and physics are cornerstones of education, but when we take a close look at the props in this Tsunami kit, we start to question the motives.

Boom! Hahaha! Too bad about your vacation condo.

Boom! Hahaha! There goes the waterfront district!

OK, time for lunch, Billy.

What the fuuuuuuuu? . . . is that the body of a pig with a bush for the head and a knife up its ass?

Yes. I am pretty sure this toy is a pig with a bush for the head and a knife sticking out of its ass.

Even if it isn’t a knife, there is still something sticking out of its ass. And with that comes the dilemma with this toy: anal fixation.

Your child will see this object in the ass of the bush head pig and begin to wonder, experiment, and possibly like it.

If this doesn’t happen, you’re guaranteed to have the anal sex talk way before the birds and the bees.

“Hidy ho, Dick Cheyney shotgun slinging doll is the best toy that you could ever give your child!

I gave each of my children this action figurine when they were tots and they ended up just DANDY! Nothing shows the American spirit like ole’ Diky and his gun, ya know! I
have one in each of my good ole AMERICAN made vehicles to show that I am just like the average person! Teach your child the CORRECT way to support the GOP by burning into their medulla olbinga-thingy at a young age like my parents did!”

–Sarah Palin excerpt from Going Rogue

Passive aggressive much? If the kids are feeling the need to harm and hug all at once, the Sunamiya paint company in Imabari Japan has their back with the Teddy Bear Gun.

Take aim, pull the trigger and shoot that irritating someone with a fluffy teddy bear. Get the kids armed for all those “love/hate” relationships they’re sure to fall victim to in the coming years (not that we’d know…).

Animal rights activists can settle down: Teddy parachutes to a soft landing after his initial projection into space.

Has your child been finding gum on the subway or underneath restaurant tables? Tired of inspecting their mouths to fish out an old chunk of pre-used chewed candy? Teach them how to REALLY put it to use with these Gum Art Kits! Candy isn’t just for eating you know.

Mmmm-mmm good?
The package claims to help kids develop fine motor skills and concentration. “Create artwork by chewing tasty wads of gum and spreading the chewed gum onto the Chew by Numbers art board. A great restaurant diversion for the kids!

A fun toy for the obsessive compulsive “who can laugh at themselves,”… but then can they? We couldn’t help but note that it’s for sale on a psychology site that nurtures those with disabilities. Are we detecting dual personalities?

Features:
• Comes with a surgical mask and a sanitary hypo-allergic moist towelette!

Packaged on an attractive illustrated blister card

The description states “All the fun of OCD can be yours…”
Really? Fun? Look for sequels including “Joy of Schizophrenia” and “the Comforts of Bi-Polar Disorder”.

Making toilet training fun and approachable is an admirable goal, but the Pee & Poo toys seem like a good way for your child to develop an unnatural affection toward their own waste products.

At a bare minimum, the sympathetic “Why me?” faces on the waste products will make flushing the toilet a psychologically jarring event.

If I had my child to raise all over again,I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.I would do less correcting and more connecting.I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
–Diane Loomans, “If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again”

Must see lists include:

10 Ways to Connect with Children Every Day

24 Ideas for creating a Happy Home (Hug more. Cook something together!)

9 Ways to make One Minute Connections.

While we see an absence of emphasis on true consequences, this read is a great reminder that the softer side of parenting can be effective and worth practicing.

Available at BrainWaves Educational Toys for $15.95

Each kit comes with the pieces needed to make their vehicle of choice, 6 containers of paint, a brush and stickers to customize it his way, and instructions to make the process easy and fun! This kit is great for 8-12 year olds to try on their own, and for 5-7 year olds to try with the help of a grown-up.

Wood Worx Jet Fighter Kit is available at BrainWaves Educational Toys for $19.95

Wood Worx Steam Train Kit is available at BrainWaves Educational Toys for $19.95

Make it easy for your children to keep their favorite bugs close at hand with Watch-A-Bug from Insect Lore! A handy pop-open/snap-shut mechanism allows for easy collection, and the super-secure, breathable netting makes sure the fun lasts. A word of caution— it’s easy to lose track of time with Watch-A-Bug! (This may be coupled with pranks from the Disgusting Pranks and Gags kit for increased potency. — Travis)

Watch a Bug is Available at BrainWaves Educational Toys for $6.99

Joey and Princess Elise are ready for all sorts of play, with more than 20 magnetic pieces of clothing that stay put on each standing wooden figure. They’re safe and fun dress-up play for ages three and up.

Buy at Brainwaves Educational Toys @ $12.99 each.

After stocking up all year, Brainwaves employees present their top picks for the 2009 Christmas Educational Toys Buyers Guide.

Disgusting Gags and Pranks

A sense of humor is, perhaps, just as important for children to learn as chemistry. What better way to develop both than to combine the two? Scientific Explorer’s Disgusting Gags & Pranks is a great way to laugh and learn with children 8 years old and up.

With pranks ranging from itch-powder and foaming sugar to fake cut-off fingers and spiders, there’s a fun prank for everyone and a science lesson alongside. For your young pranksters, scientists and aspiring visual-effects artists, consider the Disgusting Gags and Pranks Kit at $19.95 at Brainwaves Educational Toys. –Travis

Grow A Frog Kit

Now your young ones can learn about the biology and lifespan of frogs without setting foot near scalpels or the pond! The Grow A Frog kit comes with everything your child needs to raise a frog to adulthood from a tadpole.

With its translucent skin, it is easy to see all the frog’s inner organs develop as the frog grows. The Grow A Frog kit does well with animal lovers and biologists 6 years old and up. (Note, your recipient must catch the first tadpole, or send in the enclosed mail-ready card and within a few weeks you will receive a tadpole!) Find your Grow a Frog at $19.99 at Brainwaves Educational Toys–Travis

Wedgits

One of the better kept secrets of the toy world, the Wedgits are three dimensional puzzle pieces that can be stacked into dozens of colorful geometric shapes.

But it doesn’t stop there. The Wedgits Junior Tote kit also includes 48 Wedgit design cards that suggest designs that include animals, buildings , people and fun objects like toys, boats and symmetrical shapes.

More than just design fun, the Wedgits Junior Tote Kit teaches math, spelling and observation through a reusable book (yep) with wipe off dry erase markers (included).

Pack all this up in a multi-pouch zippered tote bag and your charges 3 years and up will stay busy for hours at a time. Find your Wedgits Junior Tote kits at $29.99 at Brainwaves Educational Toys -Mike

Live Butterfly Pavilion

No longer must your child wait for spring to watch butterflies in action— with the Live Butterfly Pavilion, kids four years old and up can raise butterflies up from caterpillars and watch them grow! Kit comes with a habitat, full-color poster, instructions, activity guide and mail-in coupon for 10 live caterpillars and food to be delivered right to your door, so you can get your young lepidopterist started.

No poppy fields or forests required! (By the way, a lepidopterist is a scientist that studies butterflies;) Find your Butterfly Pavilion at $21.99 at Brainwaves Educational Toys –Travis

Disgusting Anatomy Heart Kit

Take heart— your little biologists and surgeons will love the Disgusting Anatomy Heart kit! They’ll enjoy seeing what makes things tick as they create the parts of the heart step-by-step, learning about how each part functions along the way.

You can rest assured they’ll digest what they learn: the result is an edible gelatin dessert! Also comes with an eyeball kit, so you can always keep an eye on your doctors-in-the-making 9 years old and up. Find your Disgusting Anatomy kits for $19.95 at Brainwaves Educational Toys –Travis

Mind Blowing Science Kit

Show your child how fascinating science can be with the Mind Blowing Science kit from Scientific Explorer.

From color-changing volcanos to colored crystals from cabbage and ooze that moves all its own, your scientists four years old and up will have lots of fun learning just how colorful science can be (those who may recall Woodstock will also enjoy this kit). Find your Mind Blowing Science Kit at $19.95 at Brainwaves Educational Toys –Travis

Quercetti FantaColor Junior

Your very young artists can get a hands-on approach to art with Quercetti’s FantaColor Junior kit! Each kit comes with one portable easel-board and peg board, 48 pegs in red, yellow, green and blue, and 8 pattern cards with fun pictures your little DaVincis’ can color along with or think up their own creative ways to go!

This kit has no small parts and is safe for children two years old and up. Find your Fanta Color Junior at $19.95 at Brainwaves Educational Toys –Travis

Pneumatic Marshmallow Projectile Devices (Marshmallow Shooter)

A classic every year, there is something satisfying about sending a squishy confectionary across the room with 20 more ready behind it.

A set of Marshmallow Shooters is a perfect addition for home or office toys, shooting fun soft marshmallows over 30 feet. That’s all the way across the living room! It is easy to fire and reload, making it perfect for quick attacks (or rapid defense). The Shooter holds up to 20 marshmallows for extended office campaigns, and is capable of rapid fire for laying down cover for family members and coworkers.

The Marshmallow Shooter won the Creative Child Magazine 2004 seal of excellence award – which means it is perfect for the “child” in all of us. The warning on the box says, “Do not eat marshmallows after shooting,” but we think the five second rule is extended while in play.

Those who must have an edge may opt for the Marshmallow blaster which shoots full size marshmallows, but we found that transporting and reloading the mini marshmallows went faster and scored more ‘hits’ in the heat of battle. Find your Marshmallow Shooters for $19.25 each at Brainwaves Educational Toys –Mike

Disgusting Anatomy Brain

If you rolled your eyes through anatomy class, this kit will take your child’s interest from 0-100 in 16 ounces or less.

Watch their interest grow when your kitchen turns into a Frankensteinian laboratory, producing a true to size human brain out of gelatin and food coloring (included). The included instruction kit will guide you all from the cerebral cortex to the hippocampus.

Sure enough, this kit contains a bonus eyeball so you can truly roll you eyes during this clever anatomy project. Oh – did we mention that the products are edible? ? ? Find your Disgusting Anatomy Brain for $19.95 at Brainwaves Educational Toys –Mike

Funky Fun Bead And Trinket Making Kit

Pretty stickers, colorful beads, and sparkling rhinestones! What else could your creative little jeweler need to make the jewelry of their dreams? Kit contains over 350 colorful beads, 62 fun stickers, 4 shimmering rhinestones, and even a flowery trinket box to hold all of your unique creations!

Small parts make this toy unsafe for children under 3 years old. Best enjoyed by ages 5 and up. Find your Funky Fun Bead and Trinket Kit for $19.95 at Brainwaves Educational Toys — Natasha

This week? Well, this week I was faced with a 5 year old who decided she did NOT want the princess cake I’d been planning and instead would rather have donuts.

“I don’t like cake, can I please, please, PLEASE have donuts for my birthday?”

Yes, I could have just stuck a candle in the top of a glazed donut, but where’s the fun in that? So I sat myself down at the computer and started hunting ideas for a cake made of donuts. Unfortunately, the only thing I really found was the donut equivalent of a “cupcake cake” with tiers of donuts stacked together and some decorations added.

No thanks.

Behold…the Delight of the Donut Cake!

So I made it up on my own and while it wasn’t exactly what I’d envisioned, it was still pretty darn cool.

Elnora and her donut cake

Everyone else seemed to like it as well. It took about 20 minutes of thinking to figure out a strategy and then about 15 minutes to actually assemble it. All in all, way less work than the tiered princess dress cake I’d planned on making.

That said, donuts aren’t cheap around here, so the darn thing still cost me $14. The princess cake would have been a fraction of that.

Interested in how I made it? It’s super simple.

How Many Donuts Does it Take to Make A Donut Cake?

Answer:  More than they have at Giant Eagle.

My kids love donuts from Giant Eagle, one of our local supermarkets, so when I picked them up from preschool we headed that way to pick out donuts for the cake. Unfortunately I walked up to the bakery counter a half step behind a woman who literally cleaned out their inventory.

Nice.

So we piled back into the car and headed to Mary Anne donuts, maker of some of the best (and most expensive) donuts I’ve ever had the pleasure of eating.  I stood in front of their glass cases trying to calculate dimensions in my head on how I’d assemble this pastry puzzle.

A few minutes and a $5 coupon later, I walked out the door with half a dozen cream sticks, half a dozen large glazed donuts and a dozen assorted small cake donuts.

6 Cream Sticks, 6 Glazed and 12 Cake donuts

In looking at my donuts, I knew the glazed were my most logical choice for a central stacking point and I’d already decided I wanted to build outward to create a bit of a visual pattern. So I stood up a cream stick to measure height and found that three glazed donuts was just right for creating the center.

Use your largest width donut to create your central base.

Initially I was just stacking the cream sticks up against the donuts, but it quickly became clear that wasn’t going to cut it. They kept falling over. Nothing a few toothpicks wouldn’t solve…so I ran some toothpicks through the cream sticks and into the glazed donuts to hold them upright.

Use toothpicks to secure the outer donuts to your central base.

For the size glazed donuts I was using, it took six cream sticks. I could have fit seven, but I wanted to leave some space between them so I could work some of the other donuts into the design. That said, the cream sticks and the glazed donuts really looked nice on their own. I think if I was doing a larger donut cake, I might have used this as the top tier. (Keep in mind, you could also use vanilla or maple frosted cream sticks…or even ones with colored drizzle. I think I could have fun with a multi-tiered donut cake done with different flavors of frosting.)

The intial base for the donut cake.

This is when things got kind of challening… I stood at the counter for a good ten minutes just staring at the cake donuts…

Different color and flavor cake donuts so I could have some color variety.

My initial thought was to cut them all in half. Just seemed like I could get a better type of design going on that way. I wanted to add some additional “color” to the cake, so I pulled out the toothpicks again and stood them up between the cream sticks the whole way around.

Use toothpicks to secure half cake donuts to the central stacked donuts.

I was thinking variety, so I alternated three different types of donuts as  I went around the cake. Once I was done, I wished I hadn’t. If  I was building one again, I’d stick with a single color/flavor choice to build a more consistent look.

Next I added another ring of cake donuts along the outside, because everything was just looking far too vertical.

Adding a ring of cake donuts around the donut cake

Next I took the powdered sugar donuts and inserted them between the cream sticks at an angle onto the top of the donut cake. I had to use toothpicks again here to hold them in place, but honestly, once they were all tucked in with the cream sticks, they kind of all worked together to keep things in place anyway.

Adding the powdered sugar donuts. The consistent color of the white made me wish I'd only used the chocolate on the bottom and the cinnamon to ring the cake.

I added one final glazed donut to the top so you couldn’t see all the toothpicks, but if I was doing it again, I’d probably have used a chocolate frosted glazed donut with sprinkles, just to give it more color and personality.  Either way, the glazed donut worked well because I could stick a votive candle right down in it.

Blowing out the candle on the donut cake

We had five adults and two kids at this party and to be honest…we decimated the cake. Sure, it was a bit piggy of us, but seriously folks, it was a donut cake! What do you expect?

The Destruction of the Donut Cake

And there you have it folks. The making of a donut cake.

Elnora went nuts over it, so it accomplished it’s purpose…but it was alot a lot of fun to make and generated a lot of conversation at the dinner table. If you’ve got a donut lover in your family, surprise them for their next birthday!