LeBromageddon

Breaking News: "Losing LeBron" Collaboration

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 10:05:00 -0500

After several months of toiling over this project on my own, I feel very privileged to be joining the “Losing LeBron” team. From their site:

LOSING LEBRON is a feature-length documentary chronicling NBA superstar LeBron James’ first season with the Miami Heat, through the eyes of the fans he left behind.

LOSING LEBRON will go deep into the homes and workplaces of Cleveland residents to find out how they have been affected by this move, why basketball is so important to them, and watch as they adjust to a season without LeBron. Think Hoop Dreams meets Roger & Me. Fans and foes alike will document themselves through user-generated content as we experience this unique chapter in sports history. We will provide selected participants with HD Flip Cams so they can interview themselves, their family, and their friends, and become a part of the film’s production.

LOSING LEBRON is a film about community. We both have family members and friends in Cleveland and Akron who feel betrayed by LeBron’s decision to go to Miami. They, and so many other basketball fans, see his choice as a slap in the face to the people of Cleveland who loved and supported him. But they also see this as a trend in their long-associated history with sports heartache in their city, and a sign of the future of their city’s pride. We want this film to be an opportunity to tell these stories, and to show how beloved the city is by so many.

THE FUNDS:
We’re hoping to raise $10,000 on Kickstarter.

More about the filmmakers:

Nicole Prowell is a documentary filmmaker who takes the occasional adventure into the world of experimental film. She received her Masters Degree from Emerson College in Visual Media Arts and is currently pursuing her MFA in Media Art. Additionally, she studied filmmaking at FAMU in Prague.

Prior to moving to Boston, Nicole worked for IBM and the Jacob Burns Film Center, a non-profit art house focused on visual literacy. She has worked for MIT’s Nextlab program, traveling to the Philippines to document a medical research team. Her documentary work from the Philippines is being screened at the Smithsonian Institution’s Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum in New York. Currently, she is an assistant editor for documentary filmmaker Ross McElwee, and a teaching assistant at Harvard University.

Nicole is the former Vice President of Women in Film & Video/New England, and a member of Connect the Docs and the University Film and Video Association. Her recent projects include Happy Hunting, a short, personal documentary, which has screened in Los Angeles, New York, and New England.

ALLYSON SHERLOCK
Director, Producer, & Editor, Losing LeBron

Allyson Sherlock is a Boston-based filmmaker and editor. After earning her M.A. in 2005, Allyson co-founded a video production company specializing in socially-conscious media projects. Her company’s clients have included several of the top leading non-profit organizations in the country. Additionally, Allyson has been teaching video production and video editing at Harvard University Extension School for the past 5 years. Her work is dedicated to creating films that explore the essence of community and how individuals come to define themselves in relation to others. Her films have screened in both festivals and on television. Allyson is currently working towards a Master of Fine Arts degree at Emerson College.

After meeting with Nicole and Allyson, I was very impressed by their dedication to telling the story of Cleveland—and LeBron—organically. That is to say, without bias and without a pre-set storyline. I hope you will join me in supporting them toward their goal.

In the meantime, please, please, please visit the Kickstarter site and contribute toward the $10,000 goal before December 19th. This is the minimum amount necessary to cover production expenses—including transportation, lodging, and equipment. As the site says, “the more money we raise, the more time we can spend shooting in Cleveland and helping to discover and share all its hidden gems!”

Are We At the Apex of LeBromageddon?

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 15:38:59 -0500

ABOVE: Video by Eric Knappenburger, alias @CAVSWitness, effectively summarizing some of the resentment driving Clevelanders to tonight’s game. Look, everyone is entitled to their opinion! Isn’t that so, Erin Andrews?

If ever we were to pinpoint a climax of LeBromageddon, tonight would certainly be in the running. Yours truly will be shooting all day in downtown Cleveland and surrounding areas for the documentary, so get in touch if you have the gumption to be interviewed on-camera about your take on it. You can do so by commenting down below or tweeting me on Twitter.

Following the storyline of Cleveland, LeBron and Miami has proven a never-ending adventure that’s equal parts reality show, HBO drama, and NBC sitcom. It’s only slight hyperbole, in fact, to say that few writers could have penned a fictional story quite as simultaneously amusing and dumbfounding as this real-life tale of devotion-turned-enmity. And although today will surely prove the biggest landmark in the chronology of LeBron’s story since the infamous “Decision,” I don’t expect that this crazy train has quite reached its final destination.

At the same time, I really wish we could stop with the overwrought analogies comparing tonight to national tragedies. While we’re at it, tonight is not World War 3 or Chernobyl, okay?

(I know. This is rich, coming from someone who writes a blog called LeBromageddon. I’ll call a spade a spade.)

Still, if I can completely contradict myself and be serious for a minute, I want to acknowledge that there is a potentially sinister undercurrent to this circus, too, and that only further supports the apocalyptic feeling behind the whole storyline. While we may dismiss the plausibility of the unspeakable occurring, we can’t pretend the possibility doesn’t exist. As this post on the CBS Sports blog emphasizes, every controversial public figure should absolutely take into consideration that it only takes one delusional infamer who takes his (or her) resentment too far. Far be it from me to stir the pot or buy into the buildup, but we have far too many examples throughout history to support the cautionary tone adopted by the NBA, Cavs management, and the local law enforcement.

I feel better getting that off my chest.

Anyway, as expected, we’ve seen some of the most recognizable names in the media tackle the subject of today’s showdown, at great length and with enthusiastic relish. The New York Times dissected at length the creativity of anti-LeBron enthusiasts looking for just the right response to the King’s official entrance.

One of the most interesting and in-depth reads by far is this article from ESPN’s “Outside the Lines,” which goes far beyond the whole LeBron story and digs into some of Cleveland’s political and economic history.

(Oh, and hey. For our utterly shameless plug o’ the day, look who got interviewed by USA Today about the wide spectrum of emotions people are feeling in advance of tonight’s game!)

And lest we forget, there was even an analysis of the assuredly emotional return of another beloved Cavs-turned-Heat player, Zydrunas Ilgauskas.

One surprising element (at least, surprising to some of us who have grown up in Northeastern Ohio) is the increasingly clear dichotomy between Akron and Cleveland (or so some Akronites would have us believe). In this FOX Sports story, for example, several natives of LeBron’s hometown talk about how they’ve always “hated” Cleveland and how LeBron’s decision to move on was simply what any “dyed-in-the-wool” Akronite would do, and Cleveland’s reaction to it was just as poor as anyone would expect from the city.

It seems, well, bizarre. And foreign, at least to me.

But maybe it’s just because I grew up in the suburbs! I always liked both Akron and Cleveland; it never dawned on me that there were lines drawn in the sand.

So tonight is supposed to be a dramatic showdown between more than just two teams. It’s supposed to be a duel between one player and an entire city (while another nearby city allegedly sits by in judgment). A booming economy vs. a shrinking one. A disinterested fan base vs. a passionately-invested one. And, to top it all off, a potentially dangerous atmosphere for attendees and athletes alike.

But regardless of whether you embrace the hype or you dismiss tonight’s significance, or if you’re somewhere in between, it should be acknowledged.

Tonight will be something.

And whatever that something is, I for one think it will be worth witnessing.

And maybe that’s the real legacy behind LeBron’s catchphrase. It’s just that its meaning ended up being more “nuanced” that we realized when it was first coined.

… See you down there!

It's Coming: Final Showdown at the Q

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 16:58:32 -0500

We’re on the threshold of the day that Clevelanders have long awaited (with much gnashing of teeth). Would-be spectators of next week’s game are shelling out some considerable cash to be in attendance on Dec. 2, the day that LeBron James waltzes back onto the court over which he once reigned.

There’s been a lot of talk about restrictions on the wearing of any anti-LeBron gear at the game, but Dan Gilbert says that’s bunk. Who to believe?!

(What, oh, what would we do without the Cavs owner’s Twitter account?)

… I’m going to go with Gilbert, seeing as ESPN has proven itself both hopelessly sensationalist and impossibly biased when it comes to coverage of our fair land of Cleve. (And if you agree, you should most definitely sign this petition.)

If things go south (… Beach!) next week, we can reflect fondly on the fact that in 1991, the Cavaliers handed the Heat one of the worst sports blowouts in history—148 to 80. And while it doesn’t seem likely that we’ll be watching another blowout, we’ve got plenty of reasons to hope that it will be a good game. The Heat have been anything but the team that some enthusiasts were (way too optimistically) predicting would win 70 games this year. In fact, the Three Kings are 1-6 against teams with a winning record, and is now further hobbled by injuries to their best shooter Mike Miller and best rebounder Udonis Haslem.

Also hobbled by Chris Bosh’s deep, abiding need to chill and LeBron’s bemoaning the glaring absence of “fun” on the court.

But we’ll talk more about what’s hurting the Heat and helping the Cavs in a more in-depth preview post, soon.

In other LeBron-related news, the King revealed his new logo this week, and (big surprise) it’s a crown! Don’t expect this motif to disappear any time soon.

(Photo credit goes to reporter Darren Rovell for picking up on this, first.)

Also, Lakers coach Phil Jackson spawned a short-lived war of words between himself and Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy when he intimated that the Heat’s mediocre record has left its coach Erik Spoelstra on the hot seat, much as Van Gundy was a few seasons ago before he resigned from the same position.

Meanwhile, it’s finally sunk in just what a poor excuse for a sports town Miami really is, driving the Heat’s PR branch into a frenzied fit of damage control—they’ve resorted to what can only be described as blatant bribery to get its tanned, toned populace in their seats. On time, please! Here’s a cheaper hot dog for your troubles! Cheer together, boys and girls!

And, oh—if you were fooled into believing that Michael Jordan actually put out that scathing video mash-up mocking LeBron’s Nike commercial, I’m sorry to burst your bubble. Still, the mash-up is amusing and definitely worth a click.

And if you didn’t hear about it, apparently there’s a grassroots effort to keep LeBron and his sidekick (we mean Bosh, not the long-suffering Savannah!) out of the running for a position on the All-Star game’s Eastern Conference team. It’s entitled, appropriately, “Keep LeBron Out.”

Yeah, good luck with that one. But anti-LeBronners can dream like no other. Speaking of, the satirical @LeBronJamesEgo Twitter account should be in particularly good form this week, so let’s all look forward to that.

Heat Stroke: Cleveland Roots for Celts, Cavs Opening Day, and Other Madness of "Let's Watch LeBron Lose" Week

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 08:30:56 -0400

ABOVE: Yeah, so much for this. This coronation party came a smidge too soon.

The Celtics Shut Down the Heat

The NBA season started off with a bang, and, as expected, the media swarm took over Boston last night at TD Garden. All in anticipation of the Heat hoopla.

Then the original Big Three took on the the new Three Kings, and everything became so much less glamorous and glittery for LeBron, D-Wade and Bosh. This became clear early on when the Heat only scored 9 points in the first quarter, coming to only 30 in the entire first half.

This was a more abysmal showing from the Heat than anything we saw in all of last season, when their roster had a blatantly less impressive list of players.

But one loss by the Heat to last year’s East Conference champs proves nothing, of course. So before all of Cleveland collectively and prematurely dances on Miami’s grave, we should note that many of the problems are fixable. The weak defense, the poor spacing, the lack of cohesion … all issues that can be ironed out as these guys play more together.

In all honesty, I’ve seen LeBron play better, but I’ve also seen him play just about this well, too. With 18 seconds left on the clock, watching LeBron take contested three-pointers smacks strongly of deja vu.

Still, it has to sting to see some pronouncements like “Cavaliers Part II” from various sports media. I think I accurately read LeBron’s mind when I say that his worst nightmare would have to be ending up exactly where he was in Cleveland—with a supporting cast only mildly better, except now Bosh is playing the role of J. J. Hickson and D-Wade is playing some version of Mo Williams.

But Rome wasn’t built in a day, Bron Bron admonishes us. And Wade’s hamstring injury has certainly thrown off their “chi,” basically turning the Heat into a one-man show featuring guess-who. (Yeah, this doesn’t feel familiar at all.)

And the least happy Heat fans have to be the owners of this Miami bar. Although their marketing idea really is a win-win scenario for the rest of the fan base.

Bottom line is, these Kings won’t be ruling over opponents’ courts any time soon (ha, ha), which is some small comfort to resentful Clevelanders who tuned in last night.

Hey! Maybe it was just that hex the witch on WMMS put on him. I’ll try not to take up space here ranting about how it seems nearly impossible these people still have their jobs.

Cavs Season Launches Today

As they have been doing for some time already, sports pundits nationwide are predicting nothing but tragedy for the Cavaliers this season. You’ve got Sports Illustrated saying they’ll be the second worst in the Eastern Conference, Yahoo Sports’ Kelly Dwyer (now infamously) saying their best hope is 12 wins this year, and so on. Only the Plain Dealer’s Tony Grossi has the audacity to suggest they’ll pull off more wins than losses.

But as I’ve suggested previously, the tanking scenario seems improbable, if not exactly impossible. Byron Scott is out to prove himself, and he’ll fight to show everyone that he was the right man for this job (I bet soon enough people will even be chanting, “In Byron We Trust,” and I’ll admit I’m still not over the fact that he did 70 free throws in a row a month ago).

So really, it’s up to Cavs management to think “big picture.” This will probably mean trading away some of our last remaining good players, in which case, then we will tank. Organically and naturally. I know, I know … this is a painful idea for Cleveland fans to accept, but we’ve got to take this medicine if we’re ever going to get better. And by “get better” I mean set ourselves up with better draft options.

Oh, and hey. Today is the Cavs opener game. As for whom we’re playing, look! It’s the Celtics again! Poetic. Maybe taking on the Miami media darlings will have tired them out, giving the Cavaliers a chance to start their season off by beating the team that ruined everything for them last year.

Or maybe not. With solid players but no superstars, the Cavs will be hard-pressed to best the Celtics, who boast three of the latter type and plenty of the former.

Still, it should be a showing with plenty of heart and some real fundamental basketball, i.e., more passing and more opportunities for supporting players to shine, without LeBron filling up the court.

And then there’s always the Team Gilbert party before and after at The Clevelander on Huron, just a couple of blocks from the Q. Yes, Team Gilbert. That exists.

By the way, if you want a copy of the old-school Cavs Zine and see the article written by yours truly about our worst case scenario this year, come to the Q and look for the tired-looking blonde outfitted with a video camera and a tripod. Take a copy home with you. Share with a friend. All of that.

And before we forget, we must mention LeBron’s exquisitely scripted and filmed video aimed at the empathetic hearts of basketball-loving Americans, complete with a pink donut, a bulldozer, and a recitation of Maya Angelou’s “Still I Rise.” Give this thing an Emmy. If nothing else, it underscores once again that Nike’s marketing team is filled to the brim with geniuses, particularly when it comes to damage control. And we should all be so relieved to know that Charles Barkley was not offended by it, either, although he still says it was a waste of money. Not sure if Barkley is an authority on wise monetary decisions, but, whatever.

Happy Cavs Day, Cleveland!

LBJ Sucker Punches Cleveland. Again.

Fri, 17 Sep 2010 09:17:00 -0400

A big thanks to The Upper Deck for the helpful reminder that Miami’s city skyline is cooler than ours.

Seriously, Miami? You take our star player and our marketing campaign? Why don’t you take our beloved Free Stamp, too? You can have the world’s largest rubber stamp when you pry its spongy goodness from our cold, dead fingers.

Actually, maybe you can have that.

… As shared on Twitter by @CavsWitness, whose forewarnings about the image’s nauseous qualities were much appreciated (if largely unheeded).

New Jerseys: Carthartic for Cavs Fans?

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 23:53:00 -0400

ABOVE: Video from the initial “reveals” of the new Cavs jerseys. I cannot be held responsible for how many times the emcee says “yes, indeed” or “the original wine expression.” I tried to edit it out to save you all … but I got tired.

It’s worth noting that the last time new Cavaliers jerseys were introduced, LeBron James had just been drafted to the team.

So naturally, it wasn’t without some nostalgia that fans officially said “bye-bye” to the royal blue variant that once paid homage to King James, and embraced new jerseys in the traditional, throwback shades of wine and gold.

The consensus among fans seemed to be that the unveiling was … somewhat cathartic.

Of course, the Cavs have been playing in similar colors all year, aside from the LeBron tribute jerseys; the biggest difference, really, is a return to the retro hues.

But the crown jewel of these jerseys is the new axiom sewn into each and every one of the new jerseys’ collars, which pointedly proclaims the old Muskateer adage, “All For One and One For All.”

A jab at James and his elephant-sized ego?

Austin “Mr. Cavalier” Carr offered a (only slightly) more diplomatic interpretation of the clichéd catch phrase’s significance.

“With the kind of team we’re going to have now, that’s definitely our message,” Carr said. “We will win with 10 men, now—12 men—instead of one guy.”

As an aside, the full length of the interview will be included in the documentary, but you can see this sound bite, and a bit more, below:

(Incidentally, the first person to tweet me or post a comment here asking me if he “threw the hammah down” is going to get hurt, y’hear?)

Also, is it just me, or was the snarky, secret collar message’s font in Comic Sans? … No, really. I’m serious. Is it just me?

Oh, and the jerseys are made of some kind of mystical “new fabric” that’s supposed to help the players jump higher and move with more agility. I’m not making this up. They’re like the NBA equivalent of the magical shoes from “Sandlot.”

When they take the court on Oct. 5, the Cavs will also be sporting crew neck collars, which kind of sag when they play and don’t really look as trim as the V-neck. But, hey. They’re supposed to be throwback jerseys. And at least there aren’t throwback shorts to go with them.

Fans in attendance were few but included some of the most faithful. Onetime LeBron supporters Mike Brenkus and Candice Vlcek were dutifully in attendance. When asked how they felt about the mood surrounding the event, Vlcek said it was characterized by relief.

“I think of it as a change—a new era,” Vlcek said. “He’s gone and not coming back, hopefully. And you know I think it’s better that we got something new. That way we can get the bitter taste out of our mouths from him leaving.”

For those of you who don’t know Brenkus and Vlcek, the couple actually met at a Cavs game. Here’s what they had to say about facing a year without LeBron, and how the timeline of his career intersects with that of their relationship:

… Adorable. A-dor-a-ble.

In other zany, jersey news, John Mayer entered the LeBromageddon fray by promising Cuyahoga Falls fans at a concert that he would wear a Cavs jersey at his Miami show.

Mayer, this is Cleveland. I hope you realize we take promises seriously. Terrifyingly so.

Don’t make us burn you in effigy, too.

Thank-A-Thon: Too Little, Too Late?

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 13:19:00 -0400

ABOVE: Please forgive the annoyingly distracting yellow noodle behind LeBron. It was every man (and skinny camera-bearing journo) for himself in the media dugout area, and there was no way I could move. So just embrace the noodle.

It was significantly smaller in scale than previous years, but LeBron James still managed to receive a disturbingly Jesus-like reception at the ”King for Kids” bike-a-thon this past Saturday: The Plain Dealer reports that one excitable child even screamed, “I touched his hand! I touched his hand!”

Kids, the man plays basketball. He doesn’t cure leprosy. Although I have witnessed him part throngs of people like Moses.

Then came exactly what Cleveland had asked for, but exactly one month later than most of us wanted it:

“To the city of Cleveland, my fans in Cleveland, Northeast Ohio,” LeBron addressed the enraptured crowd. “I want to say thank you for the last seven years, and the years in the future.”

You could almost hear his inexpert, woefully unprepared publicity team coaching him in the background: “Thank Cleveland! Whatever you do, don’t forget to thank Cleveland!”

Personally, I like that he threw “Northeast Ohio” in there for good measure. He clearly wanted to cover his bases—as if Youngstown, Canton and Elyria might start jumping down his throat for not personally paying tribute to each of them, as well. I think watching LeBronesque paraphernalia burn on television has made the King a little gun shy.

Admittedly, it’s difficult to pin down exactly what Cleveland really wants from him, although, this weak-spirited thanks? … Probably not it. Perhaps if the ESPN-hosted LeBron-a-thon from a month ago had been 90% devoted to extolling the virtues of his homeland, that might have soothed some of the sore feelings.

Frankly, I doubt it. But the succession of slaps to the face that LeBron has delivered to C-town fans—including commissioning a full-page ad only days before the bike-a-thon that pointedly thanked only Akron for their love and support—certainly didn’t help his case.

By the way, LeBron. L-Train. King James. (May I call you Bron-Bron?) … Hire me. You’d be doing yourself a favor. I don’t even have a degree in PR, but I’ve dealt with enough publicity kingpins to boast with confidence that I can do more to salvage your image than your posse of sycophants. (Also, we really need to have a long talk about your tweets.)

But in general, Saturday’s bike-a-thon was a fairly tame and dramatically down-sized affair. A crowd of only about 1,000 spectators showed up, and the eight-mile bike ride that has followed the short ride in years past was axed. From where I stood, well after 9 a.m. South Main Street was still not filled. Even so, anti-LeBronners were nowhere to be found, and that was shocking.

Reactions on Twitter, on the other hand, were a completely different animal. I posted some pictures of a group of self-proclaimed Cavs fans in #6 jerseys, and the tweets I received were noteworthily ugly.

You might even say the retweets and replies got a tad heated.

Sorry. Had to.

In other bike-a-thon news, Savannah “Sidekick” Brinson and Gloria James were also on-hand. Someone gave Gloria a horn, which was a mistake, but my ears will recover some day. Fortunately for the dignity of everyone involved, there was no one present at the event to make loud, punny jokes about Gloria riding in a certain cardinal direction.

Glad to see everyone was thinking of the children.

LeBron got a thank-you present in the form of a monstrous sign. At first I thought Akron was giving him the signs proclaiming themselves “LeBron land.” You know, the ones they took down the day after LeBron announced he would be leaving his Kingdom. But, no, it was a St. Vincent-St. Mary’s Basketball sign.

Still. Say what you will about “King Quitness,” but too few celebrity athletes hold charity events of this size and significance. I for one am grateful that LeBron lends his mammoth-sized stardom to a good cause.

And, hey! It was fairly heart-warmingly adorable to watch when—during the Nickelodeon-sponsored game portion of the day—LeBron slimed the losing team.

… Even if, in many ways, I suspect Clevelanders felt a little slimed, too.

10 Craziest Events of LeBromageddon

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 18:57:00 -0400

ABOVE: Now that we’ve been kicked to the curb, here’s a collage of embarrassing LeBron pictures, in the time-honored tradition of any one who’s ever been rejected. Take that, LeBron! Who’s humiliated now, huh? Or not.

All right, I know it’s been a while since I posted. Not since Thursday, in fact.

… Look, I was coping with the pain, okay? I know I’m not the only one who feels as if she’s been dumped by her favorite boyfriend.

But LeBromageddon is not over. This blog was created to deal with the maniacal madness of this particular era in Cleveland, and the gravy train of insanity has yet to derail. To make up for my absence from blogging, I’d like to list for you my top 10 favorite crazy things that have unraveled in just 5 days.

10. Chris Bosh slips up and says they’ve been talking about joining up in Miami for “months.” Wait, he means days. Days, dang it! Like a girlfriend who’s been ignoring the blatant signs of her boyfriend’s unfaithfulness for, well, months, we react with overblown shock and dismay.

9. The Witness poster in downtown Cleveland gets torn down in record, ceremonial time. People clapped when the last piece—his head!—dropped into a bucket.

Slices of it are already on eBay. And yeah, I got a piece. Jealous?! … I fully acknowledge how pathetic it is that this is what I have left to brag about.

I think there might be bird poop on it. How fitting.

8. Mo Williams goes through the seven stages of grief before our eyes, but in tweet form. My favorite part? When newspapers reprinted his tweets, but only with massive grammatical and spelling overhauls. I’m not sure that’s journalistically ethical, but whatever.

AP Stylebook be damned!

7. Fathead of LeBron goes on sale for $17.41. The year Benedict Arnold was born. Why? Because the Cavs owner owns Fathead, and he’s a bit of a nerd. Also, a hothead who does things like #2 on this list.

Oh, and a new nickname emerges: LeBronadict Arnold. We Clevelanders are at our absolute best when scorned.

Which means we get a lot of practice.

(C’mon, we have to poke fun at ourselves, guys, or we’re never going to pull through this.)

6. People started burning stuff. Jerseys, tennis shoes, fatheads. Millions of tiny LeBonfires. I personally want no part in burning anything in effigy of a black man, but, hey. You people do your thing over there, and I will be waaaaaaay over here.

Pretending I don’t know you.

5. LeBron reportedly gets booed and hissed at ‘Melo’s wedding while giving a reception speech. It appears the wedding took place just a little too close to New York City. See, Cleveland isn’t the only spurned city around.

4. Michael Jordan finally weighs in on “Kobe vs. LeBron” argument. And it’s not LeBron. In other news, Clevelanders finally admit validity to Kobe argument.

Hear that? That’s the sound of hell freezing over.

Otherwise known as Detroit.

… Sorry.

When I’m hurting, I resort to sucker-punching the only city that has it worse than we do.

3. Cavs owner Dan Gilbert types a mean letter to LeBron, but he does it in Comic Sans. Comic Sans? Really? Not stuffy Times New Roman, nor generic Helvetica. No, the man chooses Comic Sans. He’s dropping word bombs like “cowardly” and “narcissistic,” but he’s doing it in a font favored by tween girls writing worshipfully about “R-Pattz” and “K-Stew.”

zOMG!

2. ESPN Radio’s Greg Brinda smashes a bobblehead on-air after what can only be described as an epic tirade in defense of another epic tirade. If nothing else, the past week established that Cleveland has ranting down to a formula.

1. Jesse Jackson accuses Gilbert of behaving like an angry “slave master.” C’mon. You knew this was coming. Don’t even pretend to be surprised.

Update: I think this ties with #1. Now it appears that our ex-boyfriend LeBron has taken our best friend with him, too; Zydrunas Ilgauskas, every one’s favorite Lithuanian Cavs player, has announced he’s following LBJ’s ever-growing parade to the Heat. For years, the ability to pronounce this man’s name was the best way to tell a Cavs fan apart from any other kind of fan.

Now Heat fans will have to learn how to pronounce it. Yep. All five of them.

Hard to blame Z, after we shuffled him back and forth like a bad penny. Or should I say, a bad lats? But the joke’s on him … won’t he be ticked when he finds out they don’t serve pączki or blynai in Miami?!

(Just think how much more you know about Lithuania after reading this culturally-informed blog.)

Your list of insane LeBromageddon events may be slightly different than mine, though. What am I missing? Feel free to weigh in!

LeBromageddon the Movie: Finale or Folly?

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:09:00 -0400

In just a few hours, millions will tune in to watch the closing curtain for LeBromageddon: an hour-long special titled (okay, somewhat pompously) “The Decision.”

It’s one part brilliant marketing move, one part disastrous media circus. A fitting finale to the mania of the past 8 days.

Optimistic Cavs fans have already orchestrated watch parties in hopes they will turn into celebrations of LeBron’s return. Harry Buffalo in Cleveland and Lakewood, Champps in Westlake, and Around the Corner in Lakewood are just some of the bars and restaurants hosting these LeBron-a-thons.

Those who predict he will leave Cleveland liken it to taking out a full-page ad featuring a middle finger to the town that raised him. The phrase “driving a stake into the heart of Cleveland” may have been tossed around more than once!

Others who think too much of LeBron’s character—even in light of his recent tour d’amour-propre—say the hometown hero could not possibly subject his fans to an hour-long good bye. Those in this camp predict it’s a sure sign LeBron will save the day for Cleveland in heroic fashion.

Meanwhile, commentators are lapping it up, calling it “good for the NBA” as it keeps basketball in the conversation long after the season and the draft ended (baseball? What baseball?).

It promises to be an epic ending to a grim fairy tale complete with a King, a kingdom haunted by ridicule and financial ruin, and his worshipful subjects—an entire population of socioeconomically depressed people in breathless apprehension. The question this segment will finally answer: will the king surrender his land and move to greener pastures? Or will he stay with his doting devotees and try to finish the fight … knowing it might mean he goes down with them, too?

That being said, he could also lead us to victory. So what do all the pieces of this puzzle indicate, possibly?

The Location

Greenwich, Connecticut is the location of Carmelo Anthony’s wedding, where LeBron is in the wedding party. If LeBron is making a decision in Connecticut, when he’s just miles from New York City, he isn’t about to join the Knicks. Plus, have you heard owner James Dolan’s jab at LeBron? “It takes courage to play where the lights shine brightest.” Yeah, dude is angry.

The Timing

LeBron is supposedly announcing his decision within the first few minutes of the program’s start. Are the remaining 50 minutes going to be a weepy, farewell ode to Cleveland’s generosity? Unlikely, given the format that’s being reported, which we’ll get to in a minute.

Some sportscasters are saying that additional 50 minutes seems classless, even invoking rhetoric like “twisting the knife.” But if we’re looking for answers and explanations from The King, a 50-minute segment might be in order.

It does seems strangely merciful that he’s not drawing it out until the very end—which in turn gives some small hope to anxious Cleveland, because surely his publicity team would know that the minute LeBron says he’s gone, all the TVs in Akron and Cleveland turn off. We’ll see whether that hope is sustained.

Format

First ESPN will profile the lucky finalists in the LeBron sweepstakes, then the cameras will cut live to LeBron, who will announce “The Decision.” Then the remaining 50 minutes are reportedly to be filled with different reporters posing questions to LeBron about said decision.

It’s these details about the last portion of the program that indicate there will be no lengthy homage to Cleveland and Akron, as it will be the reporters’ questions that steer the conversation, rather than LeBron’s talking points.

Some folks (most notably Orlando Magic’s head coach Stan Van Gundy) insist they won’t watch LeBron’s ego parade tonight. But like it or not, tonight will become part of sports history. And we have a chance to be part of its making, no matter what the outcome.

So gather your closest friends at the nearest bar or hunker down at home with some comfort food. Because no matter which venue you choose for watching it, you’ll always remember where you were when LeBromageddon happened.

LeBromageddon Heats Up

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 08:48:00 -0400

Cavs fans woke up this morning with an unsavory taste in our mouths. It tasted of defeat.

And Heat.

Also, money.

While hopeful Clevelanders slept fitfully in our beds, the NBA prepared to drop a bomb on our feeble dreams: late last night, a league cap was announced that was a full $2 million higher than originally expected. This extra cap space allowed the Miami Heat to make LeBron James an offer that was only about a million dollars short of offers by New York or Chicago, but with the added benefit of playing with two perennial all-stars, which no other team can boast.

Those stars being one Dwyane Wade and one Chris Bosh.

It’s the second slap in the face C-town has suffered in two days, after Bosh decided he would rather lose $30 million than live here.

In other words, he would actually pay not to live in Cleveland.

And with the lure of two friends and a potential title in the sweltering city of Miami, it seems all but inevitable that LeBron will abandon ship for the Heat. Even our most trusted source in Cleveland, Plain Dealer sports reporter Brian Windhorst, seems glum, despite his half-hearted reminders that he has received no confirmation from anyone with the authority to comment on it.

But if LeBron goes to Miami, I have something to say.

First of all, that team has scarcely shown the commitment to winning that the Cavs franchise has. It was just three seasons ago the Heat gave up on winning with the unnamed goal in mind of snaring Derrick Rose in the draft. They blatantly tanked, while Rose went to Chicago. Furthermore, Miami let the Cavs sign away Jamario Moon without any resistance. Worst of all, they’ve mistreated their superstar, Wade, as they let him risk his body and his career propping the team up Atlas-like, season after season, with little help from an organization hell-bent on capturing a big-name free agent in 2010.

And this is the team that LeBron will favor over the all-sacrificing Cavs and its devoted management, who would stop at nothing to give James a ring and every other desire of his heart?

Lastly, if LeBron goes to Miami to play with his pals, it might be fun at first. But I predict three egos of that size will eventually step on one other’s toes.

Here’s why. Let me tell you a tale of three guys close to me who moved in together to form the ultimate bachelor pad in college. They were all best friends. At first, it was awesome.

But then … oh, then … everyone started getting on everyone else’s nerves.

It all came to a head when “the pad” ran out of plates, and one roomie used a salad bowl to eat his cereal.

And then, because the sink was overflowing with a month’s worth of dirty dishes, he stashed the salad bowl full of milk under the couch.

For 3 weeks.

Yeah, that was an ugly, historic fight in the bachelor pad.

It’s only a matter of time until one of these superstars hides the proverbial salad bowl under the couch.

My money’s on Bosh.

Oh, Canada, How We'd Love Thee!

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 12:27:00 -0400

It wasn’t long ago when I pointed out that Canada’s greatest export to the United States would easily be Chris Bosh. Now ESPN’s Chris Broussard is saying sources tell him the Toronto Raptors are kosher with a sign-and-trade.

In which case, most likely we’re looking at some mixture of Varejao, West, Hickson, and/or Parker with a possible draft pick thrown in to sweeten the deal.

And all we need is Bosh’s approval. Which is where the quandary lies.

Look, Bosh, if you help LeBron win some titles in Cleveland, we will happily build monuments to both of you. (It’s okay if LBJ’s is a little bigger, right?)

I don’t understand Bosh’s obsession with joining another superstar in a new city. He seems driven to end up in New York or Chicago arm-in-arm with Dwyane Wade and/or LeBron.

Why does the location matter so much to him? Why the need to force both (or all three) to move to a new place? No matter where he ends up in such a scenario, he will be the second (or even third!) fiddle. No matter where he lands, his name will not be the last one announced.

Broussard also reported LeBron has been actively attempting to recruit Bosh to Cleveland. I have to say, that bit of rumored news was a huge boost to my battered C-town spirit.

It tells us the King wants to stay. But he wants it to be worth his time.

Raptors? Bosh? Help us make it worth his time, and I will be the biggest Cleveland-based Raptors fan you ever saw. I will be proud indeed to have shared a lake with you, Canada.

Do it for Lake Erie!

On the Front Line of LeBromageddon

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 00:40:00 -0400

Today I camped outside the IMG building along with Cleveland media and the most loyal of Cavs fans for the first day of LeBron hunting season.

“It can’t take more than a week,” says one cameraman, looking exhausted as the mid-afternoon sun beats down mercilessly on us. “Right?”

“My sources say he wants to wrap this up by the weekend,” another cameraman replied.

The first day featured visits from the New Jersey Nets and the New York Knicks. Each group needed their own entourage of vans to handle all the presentation equipment. Reporters and photogs clucked in astonishment at the efforts of these teams.

“At this morning’s meeting, they said, ‘Guess what’s going on right across the street from our office building,’” says Daryl Ruiter, a reporter with ESPN Cleveland. ”So I said, ‘I know what I’ll be doing all day today.’”

One by one, the caravan of SUVs emerge from the dark of the IMG garage building, and squeeze through the bottleneck formed by our cluster of photographers and reporters.

When Jay-Z departs, a cluster of fans and media nearly get hit by cars while attempting to photograph the rap mogul.

Finally the big man himself rides out, sitting hunched in the back of a silver SUV (after his usual ride, a white Escalade, made a half-hearted attempt at throwing everyone off the scent).

“LeBron!” “LeBron!” “LeBron!” A chorus of yells erupts from cameramen and reporters as they swarm the car.

The car pauses right in front of me, and I squint through the tinted glass where I see him sitting tight-lipped. I know it’s just the fact that he’s sitting down, but from this angle, LeBron seems almost small. And undeniably uncomfortable. His body language speaks volumes about his current mood.

As the car rushes to escape the throng, people even go so far as to chase the car down the street, continuing to run long after the vehicle turns the corner.

Plenty of sign-bearing volunteers from MoreThanaPlayer.org were also present, waving giant black banners that proclaimed one-word reminders such as “HOME” and “COMMUNITY.”

“What’s going on here? Is LeBron around?” a woman in a van asks one of the volunteers.

“He just left!” answers the volunteer, helpfully. But when the woman lets out a howled expletive, she rushes to say, “No, no! I mean he just left the meetings! Not that he decided to leave Cleveland!”

Laughing after the encounter, the volunteer turns back toward the building and wipes imaginary sweat off her brow. “Wow, I need to be more careful how I word things.”

Meanwhile, I was told several times some variation of “Oh, you’re the LeBromageddon chick.” Which should give you some idea of what a close-knit community Cavs-oriented Twitter users are.

“See you here tomorrow,” says yet another reporter, as he waves and saunters down the street.

No doubt. It’s surprisingly fun being on the frontline of LeBromageddon, watching history unfold.

Welcome to the Cavs! Now ... Help?!

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 11:34:00 -0400

The first day of LeBromageddon dawned with reports pouring in that the Cavaliers have a new head coach at last: Byron Scott.

And with that, the Cavaliers have reportedly snared a coach who could be the only one in the NBA willing to sign on without knowing whether LeBron is part of the package.

If his contract negotiations with the Cavs is finalized, Scott faces a daunting challenge. He’s already metaphorically bearing the burden of all the Cavaliers’ tens of thousands of fans on his shoulders, as Cavs fans look to him anxiously as an eleventh-hour offering to the shrine of The Chosen One.

Will it be enough, though?

As we’ve dissected before, Byron Scott is practically the polar opposite of the other potential candidate for the job, Brian Shaw (who quietly but not surprisingly withdrew from the running last night). Scott takes a stern approach to his teams and has a reputation for losing his temper.

In many ways, it felt as if Dan Gilbert was just trying to slap anybody in place by July 1st to prove to LeBron that it could be done. It’s basically a grown-up version of the triple dog dare. Like trying to prove how many hotdogs you can eat in 10 minutes, or how many marshmallows you can fit in your mouth.

In other words, impressive stuff, Dan—I’m just not sure if it will mean anything in the long-run.

Scott has a history of getting his teams to the finals (okay, twice), but no championship rings to show for it. So, he can get his players there, but has trouble closing the deal. Sound like anyone we know? Like, maybe the guy we already fired from this job?

Then again, you can’t make lemonade from rotten fruit, and it wasn’t as if the teams he coached were spectacular. Here he would have a chance to work with some ripe talent.

All right, I’ll drop the fruit analogy now.

Moreover, Scott played for the Lakers during their famous “Showtime” period—an experience that is obvious in the formations and strategies he used while coaching his two previous teams.

At least that would make one less seemingly insurmountable task we can check off of our LeBromageddon “to-do” list. I know I for one always knew we’d end up with ~~John Calipari~~ absolutely ~~Mike “Coach K” Krzyzewski~~ definitely ~~Mike Woodson~~ positively ~~Phil Jackson~~ no doubt about it ~~Tom Izzo~~ 100% sure ~~Brian Shaw~~ Byron Scott. Really!

No Shaw: LBJ Catch-22 Strikes Again

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 00:38:00 -0400

For those of you who were holding out hope for Brian Shaw, sorry to be the perpetual bearer of bad news, but he withdrew from the running late last night.

“I know they have a timeline to hire a coach and I wasn’t able to meet that timeline,” Shaw told Yahoo! Sports. “I didn’t want to hold things up. It’s a great organization.”

But sources close to the Lakers assistant coach are saying he was “uncomfortable” with the Thursday deadline without knowing where LeBron would be.

“Things were moving too fast and the timing of everything was at a fast pace,” Shaw’s agent told the Los Angeles Times.

Gee, this all sounds very familiar. Exhaustingly so.

A big thanks to LeBron, for trapping us in the worst possible example of Catch-22 in sports history. We can’t get a good coach without promising him that you’ll be on the team. We can’t get you to promise to be on the team, because you aren’t convinced the Cavaliers will be a winning team. We can’t predict if we’ll be a winning team because we don’t know if we’ll have a good coach.

See where the vicious cycle commences all over again?

Oh, and Shaw still may be holding out hope for taking on Phil Jackson’s job.

C’mon, Shaw! Why would you want to coach a team with all those championship rings in Los Angeles when you could come to the Cavaliers and join the massive anxiety circus that is currently Cleveland? Honestly, I can’t imagine how you could refuse our tantalizing offer.

Sorry. Exasperation tends to send my auto-sarcasm into overdrive.

Happy LeBromageddon Eve, Cavs Fans!

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 09:13:00 -0400

Here we are, on the cusp of history in the making. At the stroke of midnight tonight, LeBron goes free agent. What more can we say?

We’ll continue to report the rumors and developments over the next couple of days, of course. And for my part, I will continue to trek across Ohio and shoot video/interview the good people of Ohio who would like to see LeBron stay. I could elaborate on this for hours until your eyes glaze over. But what more can we do?

Cleveland has been good to you, LeBron. We’ve never turned away. Ultimately this is your decision, and your career, and you should obviously do what’s best for you.

… It just happens that, in my opinion, Cleveland is what’s best for you. Monetarily. Athletically. Ultimately!

You are our hero, our hellion, our hope. As anyone who swoons over his first love, I think I speak for everyone when I say … it would kill us to see you on someone else’s arm.

Frankly put. Let us not mince words!

In sum, I couldn’t put it any better than how @CavsWITNESS (alias Eric Knappenberger) phrased it when he tweeted: “Hollywood scripts don’t come along often. LeBron was handed one at birth. How it ends is his choice.”

Amen, Cleveland brother. I, for one, am anxious to see what the last line in this historic script will be, before the curtains close for good.

Chris Bosh Still In the Cards for Cavs?

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 22:54:00 -0400

Today in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, Terry Pluto published a prospectus of possibilities for the impending LeBromageddon, one of which included a scenario where the Cavaliers end up with the Toronto Raptors’ Chris Bosh.

I’ve heard this scenario millions of times, and I’d originally pronounced it dead on arrival, but I’m going to blog about it any way because I’d be happy to see it happen. If we do end up with Brian Shaw (and Brian Windhorst reports the Cavs are nearing the closure of that deal), and consequently introduce the triangle offense, Bosh might make the perfect “big man” to add to the Triple-Post tactic. In other words, he would fulfill Pau Gasol’s roll in the Lakers’ triangle.

We do have Shaq, of course, but need I expound on how much better Bosh would be at spacing the floor?

But why would Toronto trade with us, you ask? According to Pluto, our northerly neighbor could have its eye on J.J. Hickson and Anderson Varejao. Possible contracts to sweeten the deal: Delonte West, Jamario Moon, or Anthony Parker.

Given the constant theatrics surrounding West and the commonality of Moon and Parker, I don’t think Cavs fans will shed many tears for this particular sign-and-trade deal. Melodrama and mediocrity don’t make for very endearing qualities.

It could leave LeBron with Bosh, Varejao, and Jamison on the frontline, or if we trade Varejao, a quartet with Hickson, Jamison and Bosh. And as Pluto reminds us, the Cavs can offer LeBron $30 million more than any other team, and less pressure while doing it at home.

Writes Pluto: “Is it a perfect situation? No. But that’s also true of the other teams trying to sign him.”

Hear, hear! Let’s all raise a toast to being no worse off than any of the other teams vying for LeBron’s love (and, correspondingly, his contract).

Snarking aside, with the duo of Bosh and LeBron, that would make the Cavs the team with two of the debatably best five players in the league, under longterm contracts. Now that would be worth toasting.

Where Will YOU Be On Judgment Day?

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:59:21 -0400

Judgment Day is nigh! Prepare for the tearing of clothing, the weeping of Cavs Dancers, and a plague to beset the Land of Cleve as you have never before Witnessed.

In other words, take a look at our fiery countdown, and you’ll see we have less than 2 days until LeBron goes free agent. Which means it’s time we face facts and ask ourselves—where do we want to be during LeBromageddon?

When our grandchildren ask us what we were doing during that fateful hour, do we want to say, “Well, kid. I was doing my laundry.”

Okay, I’m not suggesting LeBron will magically make his decision at the stroke of midnight on Wednesday, or at any time on the first day of July. It could take him several days, a week … who knows.

But I am saying that, as Cavs fans—or at least as fans of LeBron James—we need to band together and comfort one another in this dire time of need.

What are your plans for either Wednesday or Thursday of this week? Or both?

For one thing, there’s a “Please Stay, LBJ” rally with tons of events scheduled for 8 p.m. on Thursday at Put-In-Bay Bar, which sports a full menu and 10 bowling lanes.

Share what you’ll be doing in the comment section! Maybe I’ll see you there.

Letterman Needles the Nets for C-Town

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:14:00 -0400

Cleveland recently received some ardent (and highly entertaining) support from an unlikely source: David Letterman, host of The Late Show, deftly skewers rapper-turned-businessman Jay-Z, who is also part-owner of the New Jersey Nets.

By the way, if you needed me to point that out, you haven’t been following the debacle that is LeBromageddon very closely.

About 40 seconds in, the gap-toothed comedian tackles the sorest subject possible, which is just his style.

“If LeBron James wants to be a guy, he will stay where he is and not cut the heart out of that city by leaving Cleveland,” Letterman announces, to a cluster of whoops from the audience and a grimace from Jay-Z.

“A lot of people from Cleveland,” the R&B mogul mutters. His discomfort is delicious, by the way.

“I mean, Cleveland is in desperate decline!” Letterman goes on like a train that refuses to be derailed. “Sad, but true.”

Jay-Z continues to choose his words with the clumsy precision of an intern surgeon, finally submitting, ”I get your point.”

“No, you agree with me!” Letterman says, not letting go.

“But … this is New York City, y’all!” Jay-Z finally sputters.

“What are his chances of winning with the Knicks? Zero!” Letterman snorts, then goes in for the kill. “What are his chances of winning with the ‘Nets? Nooooot that strong!”

Give it to him, Dave!

The most awkward pause ever follows that. It’s golden. You really need to watch it. The tension in that moment will release all of the tension in your shoulders, Cavs fans. I guarantee it.

Just a bit later, Jay-Z—still tiptoeing through the minefield of words that might be construed as player tampering—suggests that he has at least “a little more chance” of snaring LeBron than their neighbors the Knicks do.

Letterman is incredulous. “That’s like saying he’s got a better chance with the Cub Scouts than the Girl Scouts.”

Finally … finally … Jay-Z cracks a laugh.

Personally, I’m glad it’s Letterman who’s in our corner. I’ll take him over Leno, any way.

Even Troy Smith says "Please stay, LBJ"

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 02:09:00 -0400

NFL quarterback and Heisman trophy-winner Troy Smith is one hometown hero who ended up leaving Ohio. After quarterbacking for the beloved Ohio State Buckeyes, the native Clevelander was drafted by one of the town’s biggest football rivals, the dreaded Baltimore Ravens.

I’ll pause for a collective Cleveland shudder.

… But seeing as Smith was back in Cleveland hosting a Celebrity Weekend showcase in support of his favorite charity, Greater Cleveland Muny Football, I thought it was only natural to squeeze in some questions about the upcoming LeBromageddon.

So what does the onetime Ohioan have to say about LBJ leaving the Buckeye State?

“You know, we’re two different athletes,” Smith said. “I may have left, but for LeBron—there’s no doubt in my mind that he belongs here, in Cleveland. He’s going to do what he’s going to do, and as a fellow athlete, I respect that. But I hope he chooses to stay, because this is where he should be.”

Smith’s face then grew intense, and he turned to the camera, as if to address LeBron directly.

“LeBron, man,” he said, fiercely. “Don’t let us down. Don’t let Cleveland down! They need you here.”

That just warmed my little Midwestern heart.

Another OSU Heisman trophy winner had a truckload of thoughts to share about LeBron’s impending decision. As soon as former football running back Eddie George showed up on the red carpet, I asked him what he thinks will happen if LeBron decides to close up shop in Cleveland.

“If he leaves, the sky will fall and the economy will be destroyed and basically everyone will be weeping,” he laughed, waving his arms wildly, as if to demonstrate what kind of chaos awaits Cleveland in that most dire of scenarios.

And if he stays?

“Exactly the opposite. People will be in the streets drinking wine and dancing and singing, praising his name,” George said, with the widest grin you’ve seen.

I think George is right on the money with both predictions.

Expect sneak video previews soon of these clips from the documentary!

Shaw v. Scott: Same Initials, Not Styles

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 23:13:00 -0400

Everyone’s favorite Cavs beat writer Brian Windhorst tweeted last night that management plans to meet with Lakers assistant coach Brian Shaw for an interview in the next day or so. Shortly thereafter, there may be an offer to Shaw or Byron Scott on the table.

Both Shaw and Scott would be up for the Lakers’ head coaching position right now, but considering LA just enjoyed a nice little parade last week, it seems disgustingly unlikely that Phil Jackson will be vacating that seat any time soon.

Oh, and if you’re confused by all the similarities between these two—including their initials—let me break it down for you.

Shaw: Known for sticking to Jackson’s successful triangle offense, and recently called “ready for a head coaching position” by Jackson himself. Widely considered Jackson’s right-hand man for the past few years. Fairly green, so he comes with some risk, but it could be well worth the plunge, as he’s very familiar with the Lakers’ successful “triangle defense.”

Scott: Former coach of the New Jersey Nets and the New Orleans Hornets, and played for the Lakers during their “Showtime” years—a similar strategy he put to use with the Nets and Hornets. He led one team to the finals twice, but, both times these teams lost to the LA’s triangle defense. Called a “defensive-minded coach,” with a point-guard centric offensive strategy. Good news? Two head coaching positions already under his belt. Bad news? Fired from both of ‘em.

Scott’s not the worst choice that the Cavs could make, but Shaw may prove the more intriguing choice; it couldn’t hurt to see more teams try on the “Triangle” tactic than just the Lakers and the Minnesota Timberwolves. Really, it’s bizarre that more teams aren’t attempting to use it. Besides, who isn’t itching to see LeBron play as part of the infamous Triple-Post offense at least once?

And if that’s not enough, above is a handy little collage so you can tell them apart; in essence, Shaw has garnered a reputation for his good rapport with players, whereas Scott has gained some notoriety for his aggressive temper and toughness on teams.

Classic good cop, bad cop. But which cop for Cavs coach? Feel free to share your opinion.