losing my mind one stitch at a time

Dementia + Divorce = devastating reboot

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 12:26:00 +0000

Curious if this old format still works, here's a try. My wife of 30 years has decided she wants a divorce despite my dementia, retirement and end of life issues so after a long long time, it is soon to be over and as I had predicted years ago, I will be homeless and carless. At least until I turn the settlement into a reboot life. Enter my current dream; Prius Living

After caring for my mom for 6 months in Oklahoma and living with my parents, then two different friends, I had a good idea of what was essential for me in a living situation and what I could live without. So when finalizing the divorce (still eluding me) and dealing with COVID19 lockdown, I returned to Memphis to packup what is mine. Today I am beginning to pack up what is sentimental and priceless to me and storing it. What is not sentimental or priceless I will either sell or give away. I hope to find a 2017 Prius V and begin to take a long road trip to national parks, state parks, hiking and visiting friends in North America.

I have joined a few forums and such for inspiration, but it really boils down to what each person who chooses this reboot needs and we all have different needs. What is important to me is reliability, climate control and space for my dog (and cat?) so I am swapping my instant tent for an SUV tent, keeping the coleman stove and adding in a few key items. Photos coming soon. My adult sons will be helping me organize the trip, tracking my location and assisting with budgeting. I am making this move because my monthly income is $1010 after paying my health insurance. Finding affordable ($500) rent in this city in a walkable and safe neighborhood is hard. I had wanted to do a grand american retirement national park trip for a long time, but I lost my motivation, my spark and my courage when I thought of being alone, demented and driving. I don't think I can do it forever, but I will try it for several months and see what happens.

Losing a little more from 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Sun, 24 Nov 2019 14:34:00 +0000

this sat as a draft for 7 years and I just stumbled on it. I am pleased to see that despite the devastating experiences and losses I was still seeing the bright side, that there was one person who was there for me and held on. Thanks Michelle Homer <3 .="" nbsp="" p="">
I recently rewarded myself for a pretty challenging year by taking a once-in-twenty-year vacation without spouse or children to Las Vegas with the best group of softball playing women ever. I started an extra medication *just* for that trip, and ended up having a drug reaction the entire trip and zero insight. I seem to have lost control, lost friends and lost dignity. Fortunately I didn't gamble and lose money!
As my Alzheimer's eats a little more of me and my seizures don't help, I am losing more control of my life. It's been suggested that I can no longer travel without someone to basically babysit me. There's a blow to any self-esteem I was hanging onto, but it is also good that I have friends and family who will step up, tell the truth and pull in my options when I can't reliably make good decisions.

Reason with a hurricane?

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 22:14:00 +0000

Some beach time, Spring style

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 23:28:00 +0000

Our family, minus Max, went to our favorite beach for spring break. The weather was warmer and sunnier than predicted, which was great except I packed for cooler weather. The water was and always is too cold to swim in March, but some brave souls do. We think they are people who don't get to come to the beach as often as we do. We also saw and heard at least one mated pair of Osprey. We had a regular cocktail hour complete with hor d'oeuvres. Often we would hear and see the Osprey near sunset. They are amazing birds. I was fascinated about them and dreamed of them, thought of them and looked for them long after we returned home. We enjoyed the Blue Angels flying over in practice, but it was hard to get photos. We comforted ourselves in the fact that we have decades of Blue Angels photos. William spent time with friends, as did we. During a card game one night our cat, Zeus, decided to help us play. We've had this motorhome about a year and the dogs and cats love the dash. It's huge and flat and they can view their domain from there.

Lichterman Scarecrow Contest

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 20:47:00 +0000

Please meet Pretty in Pink. She is the Friend's of the Pink Palace's entry in the scarecrow contest this year. Ginger made her plywood frame and I found all the clothes at Goodwill including the PINK boots (with kitten heels.) She'll be next to the pavillion at Lichterman Nature Center and she's hosting Stomp in the Swamp September 12th. Please join us as we kick off Craft's Fair with some great auction items at bargain prices, food by Germantown Commisary and Ginger and I will be your beverage servers. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. Be there!

Family fishing trip to Little Red River

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 13:27:00 +0000

We took one last family trip before both boys go to school; Max to CBU for college and William to MCHS for HS. Trout fishing on the Little Red was good, though we never caught our daily limit. Did best the last day! Trout every day though and enjoyed time together as a family, as always. Traveling increases my work load and I became increasinly exhausted. I do all the cooking, cleaning, dog walking (at home they have a dog door) in addition to whatever events we are doing on our trip. The stairs down to the fishing dock and the path to the water eventually stopped me in my tracks by about 10 a.m. the last day. I climbed out of the kayak and knew I couldn't lug it up to the RV. Got Max to do it for me. Packed up and on the road. Vista did great! The kittens (now leggy young cats 5 months old) continue to be wonderful travelers!

Newly(re)weds!

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 20:43:00 +0000

Twenty years, 2 months and 2 weeks ago we had a wedding, reception and cake. Now we are legally married (in D.C. and a few other US states). Check out the incredible knitted bouquet and boutonniere! Delivered in the nick of time.

Life's about the journey not the destination

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 13:51:00 +0000

That quote has been floating around the Internet for quite a while. I will have to say it is the theme of our Spring Break Trip. Maxwell, graduating senior, chose the destination. Lindy, the RV, did her best to keep us from reaching it. Here is a photo of the boys outside the Air and Space Museum. I was surprised that Maxwell chose to go here, but when I saw they had a black hole show, it all made sense. We are so blessed to have these incredible kids, though some moments I would be hard pressed to say that out loud. Tomorrow we get married. And to show you what a small world it is, the rabbi who is marrying us is a gay knitter who helped me years ago with Max's bar mitzvah. He only helped via email, but when the laws changed to allow marriage in D.C. and we already had this trip planned, it just seemed right to ask him. A wonderful clerk at the marriage bureau went through a great deal of work to make certain our license and certificate were speeded through. Lindy's delays almost cost us the right to marry.
My knee, after total knee replacement, is causing me excruciating pain and my Alzheimer's is wearing me down. The family is supporting and lifting me through this trip. Yesterday Ginger pushed me in a wheel chair all through the Air and Space museum! Then she reminded me to stop early and come back. I hope all of you have people like this in your life: whether they are friends, family or (like the clerk) helpful strangers.

At least the cat approves

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 00:42:00 +0000

This is a quilt made from "upcycled" tropical shirts. Probably the worst work I have ever done, but it is completed and will be shipped to TX for the Frisco Feeding Frenzy IV auction for Parties that Matter. Parrotheads know how to unit for a good cause.

New wardrobe for the graduate

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 14:22:00 +0000

Max has been wearing uniforms since he entered public chater school and while he is a snappy uniform dresser, he has discovered the joy of bowling style shirts and silk. One day at my favorite thrift store, I purchased these five shirts and presented them to him as his "college wardrobe". He was thrilled! And he put one on for the dinner that very night. Do male college freshman iron their shirts?? If not, this may not have been such a good idea.

I fought the quilt and the quilt won

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:53:00 +0000

Today I finished piecing the upcycled hawaiian shirt quilt top for the Frisco Feeding Frenzy IV. A trip to the store to purchase batting, because of course I didn't have any batting the right size and didn't want to cut up a queen size bat. Used the spray basting for the first (and maybe last) time. Small margin of time to adjust, if you find a wrinkle later, you're sunk. Then onto quilting and that's where the real "fun" started. Tension, snags, and thread breakage abounded. About 4 hours into it (and 2 needles) I declared a cease fire. Tomorrow I will horrify you with photos of the back of the quilt [shuddering] and the top. My adorable wife says it's not bad and I have nothing to complain about. ALWAYS ask a non-quilter when you know your quilt s*cks!

Help! My Quilt List is getting bigger!

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 04:21:00 +0000

You saw the great fabric I purchased for quilts for a friend's 2 young sons. That fabric sits untouched because I have not even finished the quilt top for either of the charity quilts I'm making out of upcycled hawaiian shirts. I have no business adding a Quilt-a-long to my list, but I am really drawn to this jelly roll. Its not just that it would be an excuse to purchase a jelly roll (which I have avoided so far). I really like this idea and would love to do it. The real problem is the time line. I'm already basically a month behind so it wouldn't so much be a quilt a long as a quilt behind. Moda has some Jelly Rolls I adore and how can I possibly resist Spumoni BATIKS? I need secret money.

Maxwell Thornton-Leonard Senior 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 23:40:00 +0000

You can't see how long his ponytail is in this photo, but the official senior portraits will.

quilt madness

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 18:17:00 +0000

I know nothing of the march madness that goes on in some sport involving a round ball, but let me tell you what happens when to wanna-be-great-quilters get to go to a quilt fabric warehouse; nirvana. And so when Sarah and I were allowed to tour and shop with the tutelage of shop owner Arlene Blackburn we swooned. Here are some photos from our first visit. There will be many many more! I purchased fabric for 2 quilts I've been commissioned to make for Amy's boys. Wow, these photos don't do it justice. There is fabric here you simply can't get anywhere else. And the Japanese fabric? Did you read all about it? :) Locals can sign up for for the newsletters and attend warehouse sales, out of town, state and country people can sign up and benefit from their clearance sections. Her daily prices are so appealing and reasonable that it was almost impossible to show moderation, but I had told myself I had to limit myself to the current commissioned project. I was good! You don't have to be. Visit the store online and tell 'em Diane sent you!

Facebook eats blog

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:00:00 +0000

Ever since I began to learn and actively participate in Facebook (FB), my personal blog has languished. My editor forced me to join FB to promote my public dementia blog on everyday health and it has helped. But there are some crafty things that require much more than a line and this is one of them. I promise to get back to blogging for me, to hold my memories on "paper" and to entertain the few of you who straggle by.
Sarah introduced me to quilting. We like totaly different kinds, colors and styles of quilting so its really best that we are quilt buddies; there is no rivalry for fabrics online or at stores. She also convinced me (this took very little pushing) to start a stash. Sarah's quilt stash is 100% clothing that she fully intends to repurpose into quilts. She has them sorted by color values in a room and its a work of art in itself. I'm a different kind of quilter so I went straight for the sheets, blankets and whole clothe at the thrift store. After that I added in a few XL men's shirts in blue values because I wanted to make a shirt quilt.
today I am feeling good enough, after month and months of surgery, complication, hospitalization, infections, doctors appointments and general lethargy, to start a quick quilt! This will be no work of art; but a work of heart for my PT who is a friend and who stuck it out with me during some of the much more difficult and challenging days. She's a Steelers fan. She doesn't have a Steelers blanket/quilt/throw so I am making her one. Of course everything licensed costs a fortune and is hard to find at the end of the football season, but I did order online and got 2 yards of licensed stuff.
Now the good part. I shopped my "stash" and I think I found the colors I want to complete the quilt! I'll double check with Sarah when she comes over (she's still my quilting consultant) and then I'll get busy. I hope to get at least the top done by Friday.

Another business, Dementia Busy Aprons

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 15:15:00 +0000

Modeled after aprons I saw online, but the shipping was insane and the cost was $35+, I made these after blurting out in a support group that I would. Poor impulse control is a problem with dementia. I'm selling them for $25 no shipping. They vary depending on the person, this one is for a woman. The toy is optional and specifically for the recipient. For a teacher it might have a pocket full of letters or flashcards. The fabrics are lush and functional. The 4 square patch on the top is sewn on the right side, but the zipper comes completely apart so you can have a kind of flap. Just another bright thing to fiddle with. Hope this is a hit. Since dementia has sidelined my career, and SSDI as not come through for 3 years, money is insanely tight. I will make a tiny profit on these. I use all thrift store clothes to make the additions. I purchased the aprons. I have 5 more to make.

And the wait goes on...SSDI

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 00:29:00 +0000

about a zillion years ago I applied for Social Security Disability. I wasn't happy to apply, it seemed like defeat. I was depressed at the very thought and found the 3,000,000 forms more than overwhelming. I got through it eventually (took me about 3 months!) and then my doctor didn't turn in any records so I was denied, but that took many more months to find out. That was 2006. I'm still waiting to be approved. I got a letter saying I was slated for a hearing with an administrative judge in September 2009. I have read from other people that the hearing is just another hurdle, it is in no way the finish line. We won't get rich from my SSDI, but it could make the difference between having any medical care and having none. If the two year wait is applied (2 years from date of disability) then I'm past that. I hope they approve me for medicare immediately. SSDI payments could be over a year away.
I wonder when I'll ever be able to contribute financially to my family again? DVD sales are seriously off, no mystery shop assignments from Starbucks (guess they're cutting and back too) and the dog I babysit is finally home. Dementia sucks, but dealing with bureaucracy while battling the effects of dementia really suck. At least I am not in end stage...yet!

Lindy the motorhome gets a quilt

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 12:15:00 +0000

Sarah has been quilting for a while, my mom asks if I am quilting and finally I can say yes. After making pinch pleat drapes for the bunk sleeping area of the Lindy, I still had fabric left and wanted to make a quilt. Sarah helped me pick fabric, but left the final choice to me so I have no one to blame for the fact that it turned out to be a John Deere quilt. I even cut it out and sewed it in the Lindy during a Kendo weekend! Yes, that photo of me sewing is from inside the motorhome :) I still have to bind it, but we love it anyway. It's for the RV for heavens sakes. Now I have fabric for at least 4 more quilts stacked in the dining room. I must get organized!

Cat updates

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 12:03:00 +0000

Oh boy has it been a crazy cat year around here. You can see in August of last year we fostered (then adopted) an adorable tiny black kitten. Sad to say, Kellen disappeared in May of 09. Despite being chipped, going door to door and posting signs, no information was ever received.
While we were enjoying a rocking trip to Pensacola Beach in the motorhome, I decided to check craigslist and saw someone had listed a small black kitten. It was abandoned at the side of the road in a paper bag or box (the story was sketchy). We talked about it and asked around about some other kittens, but seemed to settle on another black kitten, tiny, abandoned.
We picked up new black kitty the day after we got home. Max had named him Odysseus before meeting him. I still forget his name and call him Kellen. They look so much alike! He's great, loving, but won't play with Molly like Kellen did and Molly is sulking a bit. He's growing, healthy and we all love him.
My 9 year old cat has been thin for several years. The vet thought it was stress, gave me some meds and left it at that. Lately, she's gotten much worse. For those of you (sarah) who won't get another animal because of the cost, stop reading! After a liver biopsy ($409.) it was determined that it was not lymphatic hepatitis as suspected, it was lympha somethingerother sarcoma. No treatment, no hope. She has improved somewhat and for now we're letting her eat all the raw organic hamburger, greens, roast chicken and butter she wants. She will hopefully pass over the rainbow bridge without assistance, but we are prepared to help her if need be. We refused to let her linger in pain.

Frisco Feeding Frenzy (Jimmy Buffett)

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Thu, 21 May 2009 11:57:00 +0000

I found the best group online for Jimmy Buffett stuff (www.buffettnews.com) and stumbled onto a group that was planning a party with a purpose before the show in TX. This, of course, fit my love of volunteering and I quickly signed up. Before you knew it I had signed up Ginger and recruited my brother and SIL too! We eventually (months later) converged on Frisco Texas and the Pizza Hut Park for a phantastic phlocking phull of phun. (get the Parrot head references??)
We over-nighted in the glorious Lindy and were grateful as heck. I was quick to make friends and Ginger wished for some personal space, but we'll do it again next year. I will try not to get as intoxicated...maybe. I will try to keep my shirt on more...maybe.
Here are some highlights. The blanket was one of two charity projects sent to me by other BN knitters. I seamed the squares up (they were not even close to the specs I asked for) and next time I'm going to insist people measure.

Catsup, Ketchup, Catch Up

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Sun, 17 May 2009 22:30:00 +0000

No matter what you call it, it's high time I play serious catch up and get back on the blogging wagon again. I admit that Facebook has taken the place of blogging, but will stop that silliness soon.

Hitting the high lights, Kellen, the much loved and affectionate feline who landed in our lives in August 2008, disappeared without a sign Friday, May 7. Despite much calling, posting and asking, he remains MIA. We only pray he is alive and doing well. We miss him more than words can say.
The Swine flu scare didn't scare us at all and we went about life
The boys are enrolled in Memphis Academy of Science and Engineering. Do not believe one word of what you read about it. The teachers are 99.9% outstanding. The administration is 99.9% hot air. We are counting the days until the new administration kicks in and hoping the boys have some other options before next year.
We adore the RV and had a BLAST taking her to TX for a Jimmy Buffett concert. We will return to FL to visit friends for a week and do a little fishing before our summer starts.
Max is going to be riding a bike to the local university (University of Memphis) to take Latin I and II for "fun" this summer.
William is going to be working at Molly's la Casita, attending Future Builder's camp at Bridges and hopefully going to the Library's computer camp and Bridges Peace Jam Leadership camp. The latter two are competative and we haven't heard a word yet.
Max is aiming for MIT, Virignia Tech, Georgia Tech or (his fall back) CBU for college. U of Alabama and Rice have also hit the radar thanks to friends who know his penchant for competition and high academic standards. We're hoping for a full-ride scholarship.
My dementia is slowly nibbling at my life and I rest a great deal every day. I still manage the bare basics of cooking and taking kids to and from school with occasional meetings thrown in
Ginger turned FIFTY.
The kids got us Mother's day presents without any help this year (internet shopping is great)!
We went to the Memphis in May [Mud] BBQ Festival and had a BLAST with the VooDoo BBQ Crew. Thanks Tricia and Chuck for including us. Thanks Gay, Jerry, Nancy and *Kelly* for partying with us.

no good deed goes unpunished

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:00:00 +0000

Hi! Reporting to you today from purgatory, or as close as a Jew can get. The boys' school, who I have high hopes and expectations for, is currently deciding if they will allow me to drive 16 hours round trip to pick up FREE textbooks for teachers. Why, you ask would this even be considered? Ginger firmly believes this is NOT my battle. I, as a long time home educator, have to admit I feel compelled to provide the best education for our children. That means giving as much of my failing brain and body to their current school as possible while still keeping my sanity and health. Why would the school, in existence 5 years, need textbooks? That's too complicated for me to even fathom, but has something to do with the plan to be a textbook free school and the reality that all kids don't have laptops. So here I sit, keeping an interview with Joe Shapiro of NPR on hold, the COO of Pink Palace hanging as well as friends for dinner and the family. Waiting to hear if the administration approves of (and will pay fuel costs) for me to drive to FL to pick up textbooks. A symptoms of my illness is poor judgement. This might be a symptom instead of a good deed!

sand summary

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 15:02:00 +0000

The RV lifestyle appeals to our family, it fits our personalities to a "T". Despite a glitch in getting to Pensacola Beach in time for our welcome home party (we were 24 hours late!) and spending the night in the parking lot of the Hattisburg, MS Firestone parking lot, we enjoyed ourselves. Even when marooned in Hattiesburg (and I was sorely tempted to call a S'Wheaten friend so we could park in her driveway) we were content. We ran out of fuel because the 3rd tank fuel pump wasn't functioning properly. No problem, despite rain and cold the furnace was working and the kitchen was stocked. I prepared lunch and we sat, as a family, and enjoyed lunch. Then rested quietly while waiting for the AAA guy to show up with fuel. Loss, 2 hours; gain, relaxed family. Moving on to Hattiesburg and we noticed the engine was running hot. We had finally turned off the heater in the cab and that put extra heat on the engine. Quick call to my darling brother who is a Ford-o-phile and a decision to seek a mechanic before it was a roadside emergency, thus the overnight at Firestone while waiting for a part for the 1-ton engine. We enjoyed margaritas, DVD's and a warm dinner. Rainy evening and the kids stayed up to watch the antics of city people in parking lots late at night (from the safety of their RV windows). A great breakfast of sausage and biscuits which had the mechanics salivating and then they got the part and started working. We were all happy, warm, dry and relaxed despite not being at the beach.
The week at Renee's was chaotic. Financial, health and personal chaos ensued, but we helped as best we could, stepped back when we needed to and had the oasis of Lindy the RV to escape to at all times. Packing up and going to the RV shop was even pleasant as we got the best service we have ever had in Gulf Breeze Camper World. Again, as we waited and shopped newer RV's, we were able to step to our RV for drinks and snacks and bathroom. Heaven.
We learned we love turtles, with our home on our backs we are able to be safe, comfortable and connected anywhere, anytime. It's probably a testament to our parenting and love for each other that 10 days with 4 people in a tiny space produced no fights! TV, puzzles, games, Xbox, books, knitting and naps. We'll be back May 29th Florida, get ready!!!

Beach Bound!

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:25:00 +0000

Not to put too fine a point on it, but we are leaving for ten glorious days in Pensacola Beach, FL! And while the water will be a chilly 70 degrees, the weather will be warmer and sunnier than Memphis...at least part of the time. I'm sure Memphis will get nice and warm while we're gone, but we're still leaving! Photos to come, we're unplugged for the entire time, which should be interesting. Are you jealous?

Purim at Or Chadash

noreply@blogger.com (Diane) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 10:28:00 +0000

The entire family celebrated Purim this year. Max took a major role in the Purim skit and had the audience rolling. William jumped in and read fabulously at practice and got the part of 2 characters! Despite 4 shots of Seagrams, I didn't fullfill the mitzvah of getting snockered, oh well!