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I'll be blunt. It's finals time and I'm pent up. I am tall, handsome, and will be a lawyer in 1 year. Looking for a date and some sexual reprieve. Please help.

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I don’t like driving behind Buicks, Oldsmobiles or Ford Tauruses. I think that women who fake tan all the time look silly. I suspect that people who have rotty breath just don’t floss. Mean people suck (just like the bumper sticker says), and terrorists are jerks.

Not the opening you expected, huh? Well, I like to have a little fun with just about everything I do, so why not on Craigslist, the #1 place to meet some stranger for NSA sex. No, that’s not what I’m here for (though to each his own if that’s your thing). Actually, I was just wondering if there are really any cool women on Craigslist—someone to date long-term, someone who I didn’t meet in a bar or at church, someone who’s “all that and a bag of chips” (kettle-cooked preferred).

I’m not a bad-looking person, and I’ve been called (among other things) cute, attractive, and cougar-bait. But since I’m afraid of getting mauled, I don’t go for cougars, especially ones who drive old-people cars, have leather-like skin from fake-tanning too much (usually its Jewish or Italian women—why is that?), have crap between their teeth, and are mean terrorists… even if they try to lure me in with kettle-cooked chips. I’m a lawyer, I work hard, and I play hard—just check me out on karaoke night and you’ll see what I mean.

So, what am I looking for? To be honest, it’s hard to sum it up in a few words, and I’m looking for the right woman all around. No, not a round woman—that’s not my style. I’m attracted to fit women. You don’t have to be an anorexic or bulimic (they have bad teeth and fingers, I hear), but I’m relatively fit myself, and I’m trying to keep it that way, so I’d like a woman who takes care of herself physically. Intelligence is important—if you think the Da Vinci Code was a tough read, move on to the next dork posting something on Craigslist. And I can’t stand women who are selfish—I’m a giving person, and I’d like to get a little back. If you bring sexy back, well then you get bonus points (and maybe a lawsuit from JT for stealing his thing).

Pretty, funny, social, silly, outgoing, successful, happy, awesome. That’s me. ;-) Just kidding. But if that describes you, hook me up with a response and a picture. No picture gets no response or picture from me. C’mon… take a chance. Let me convince you that I can rock your world!

• Location: Wexford
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Sexy and suave entertainment lawyer looking for legally blonde bombshell with junk in the trunk. Clerking, legal, or state certification a big plus. As are recently colored roots. Must be willing to debrief and be able to give good oral arguments. Please no haters, trolls, or trojans.

• Location: Balboa Park
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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