Legal: Child Custody

How to Deal With Having Joint Custody of Your Kids

2011-11-11T02:45:00.001-08:00

When you are first married, you definitely do not expect to divorce. When you start a family, you are more concerned for your children's welfare than possible custody scenarios in the event of a split. Divorce, however, does happen under different circumstances, and if you have agreed to a joint custody agreement with your ex-spouse you may wonder how this changes the way you live. Of course, your children may not stay with you all the time, but it is important to ensure that your kids stay well-adjusted and know they are loved though their parents no longer live together.
Whether your divorce proved amicable or acrimonious, conflicts are likely to arise in a joint custody situation. There will be an adjustment period that requires at least one parent moving into a new home - perhaps both if the marriage property is sold in the separation. Your children will need to be settled in a school and other extra-curricular activities where applicable, and once those things are handled you must come to a sound co-parenting schedule with your ex.
Should you come to loggerheads over a particular situation - school pickup schedules, money, religious upbringing - it is important not to create a conflict that leads your children to believe they are causing difficulties. Regardless of the circumstances that brought on the divorce, you can work things out with your ex to the benefit of everybody involved. Here are a few tips to consider:
1) Never fight in front of your children. When problems arise, work them out in a calm manner. If you find tensions heating and you must have words, make sure your children are not within earshot. Do your best to compromise without influencing ill will, though.
2) Keep lines of communication open. Everything you need to discuss with your ex should be communicated directly. Do not put your children in the middle of a conversation like pages by having them send messages back and forth.
3) Do not disparage your ex to your children. Even on your worst day, when you want to rant out loud and call your ex every name in the book, don't say one negative word if your children are in the room. They may realize their parents do not love each other anymore, but it is not fair to lead them to think one of their parents is mean or not worthy or their love.
Taking on the responsibility of co-parenting in a joint custody agreement will require work on your part, and your ex-spouse's. Work together and ensure the health and happiness of your children.

Getting Custody of Your Grandchildren - Legal Rights and Procedures

2011-11-11T02:44:00.000-08:00

When a couple divorces, considerations are taken to determine the best course of action where child custody is concerned. Oftentimes, grandparents are left out of the equation - they have little, if any, say regarding the welfare of their son's or daughter's grandchildren. In some cases, divorce may put an end to visits altogether, resulting in estrangements that prove difficult to heal as the children grow older. If you are a grandparent worried about the outcome of your child's divorce, and wondering if you will be allowed to see your grandchildren again, know you do have rights. Depending on the situation, you may wish to obtain custody of the children, and that is also possible.
Reasons for Obtaining Custody of Your Grandchildren
Divorce is not the only catalyst that inspires grandparents to seek full or joint custody of minors in the family. Any time the welfare of a child comes into question, a grandparent has the right to offer a stable home and loving environment. Consider the following examples:

A parent or both parents are active duty military and stationed overseas.
A parent or both parents are incarcerated or admitted to drug rehabilitation.
A parent or both parents are experiencing financial problems to due layoffs or medical issues.

There are many reasons why a birth parent may become unable to care for his/her children, leaving the question of custody open. As a grandparent and direct relative, you may be able to petition to have the children released to your custody, either temporarily or permanently. Presently there are three legal options available to you: temporary custody, guardianship, and dependency petitions.
If you know your children are in a situation where they need to place their children in a more stable home environment, you can petition for temporary custodianship. Your child may give consent on the grounds that they are physically or financially unable to take care of the children, or that military duties prevent them from doing so for a period of time. The birth parents may be ordered by a court of law to pay child support in temporary situations, and if you are able to prove neglect or abuse on the part of the parents, you can file a legal option to obtain permanent custody and terminate any legal rights of the birth parents to their children.
Consult with an attorney who handles custody cases to learn more about your rights as a grandparent to see your grandchildren.

How to Go About Filing For Sole Custody of Your Children

2011-11-11T02:43:00.000-08:00

A separation or divorce can be an especially difficult time for anyone, but it is made even more challenging when there are children involved. Regardless of whether you are married to the other parent, both co-parents have full rights to the children until such time as a judge determines that one parent has more rights to the children than the other.
In practical terms, this means that if you leave your children at a day-care center, the children's parent can pick them up and take them anywhere they like, including out of state. You may have placed a notice with the daycare provider to not allow the parent to pick up the children, however, without a court order establishing custody, the daycare provider will be committing custodial interference if they refuse to allow the children to leave with their legal parent. It does not matter what you say. In this situation, it matters only what a judge says.
The first step in the process for establishing sold custody of your children is to file a Petition for Sole Custody with the court. This is the document that will allege you are the better parent, that you should be awarded sole custody, and why.
At the same time, you will file a motion of "Immediate Temporary Sole Custody". Don't let the "temporary" part worry you. This document will establish an immediate order for custody, and the final determination will be made based upon the first document you filed. This temporary document is vitally important, however. Without this order, the co-parent would still have the right to take his or her child anywhere they like, with or without your consent.
Shortly after you have filed these documents, the judge will most probably sign the immediate temporary order. This can sometimes happen on the same day you filed your pleadings. The court will schedule a hearing on the immediate temporary order, however, where the co-parent will have the right to show the court why the order should not be extended. Generally speaking, for the protection of the best interests of the children, provided both parents are law-abiding, upstanding and decent people, the first person to file for immediate temporary custody, wins. This is why it is important to file right away.
Once the judge has heard from both parents, they will decide whether to extend the custody order. Even if they decide to establish joint legal custody of the children for the duration of the court process, they will often order that neither parent can take the children out of state without the express, written consent of the other party.
Gaining full, sole custody of one's children can be very difficult. However, the first steps are easy and quick if you act right away to protect yourself, and your children, from harm.

Tennille Webster is a freelance writer living and working in Utah. She writes on a variety of subjects including legal matters, parenting, dating and relationships, gay rights, marriage equality, religion and spirituality, and healthy lifestyles.