LEMMINAIDE

Abraham or Abra-scam you be the judge

2014-03-18T12:01:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends…Can you believe it’s been 2 years since you’ve last heard for me…

I know we are all way too busy these days so this year I’m tryin’ out a new format. Each week I’ll write a quick little tasty tidbit that you can easily read in about 5 minutes or less.

Also this year I’m inviting you to join in on the conversation by leaving a comment, asking me a question, making a statement of your own or just say hi I’m here I’m listening.

[For friends joining me for the first time I feel I must prepare you… I write the way I talk. I don’t worry much about proper punctuation or mistakes in grammar.

Some people say I’m a natural born storyteller. I don’t know about that but I do have Gemini on the med-heaven. I like to use dot, dot, dot for emphasis, and most of my sentences do tend to be a little bit run-off-at-the-mouth.

But hey who cares. Like an old toothless friend of the family named LD Smith once said… I’m just entertainin’ myself by tellin’ you a story.

Read it or don’t, enjoy it or not, comment if you wish but whatever you do for heaven sakes please don’t go leaving me a little note like a 5^th grade elementary school teacher correcting my paper. I’ve got a genius sister with an M.Ed that thinks that’s her purpose in life. Just kidding Ruby I love you.]

Are you ready, the clocks ticking…

Usually when I run into an old friend I haven’t seen in awhile, knowing full well I’m always up to something new, they often ask… What are you up to now?

With a particular intonation on the word “now” like somehow there is something wrong with me that I’m not doing the same old thing I was doin’ the last time we spoke.

Well, let me just put that crap to rest once and for all… Thankfully I’ve got attention deficit and truthfully I’d rather be ashes on a mantel than to be stuck doin the same old things.

SO, given we haven’t spoken in a long time…go ahead ask me… I know you’re curious…why else would you be reading this blog, go ahead ask me… What are you up to now?

Well thanks for asking. I first wrote this story more than a year ago but I think it’s a good place to start. It will help bring you up to speed on what I’m up to now. You’ll understand why later on.

Abraham or Abra-scam

Recently, I’ve been completely absorbed in listening to the lectures of a collective non-physical source-energy called Abraham.

I’m serious you heard me right “a collective non-physical source-energy.” If you are smirking I don’t blame you I sneered too the first time I heard of them.

Abraham’s dictations are verbalized by a women name Ester Hicks. I use the word “them” earlier because Ester says she is just the medium thru which “they” speak.

Just so you know Abraham has tens of thousands of followers on YouTube and their books are published by Hay House.

I’m wondering where were all of those videos when I was searching the web back in 2012 for the warning signs of an imminent worldwide financial collapse, keeping up with the latest conspiracy theories or watching the Preppers guide on “How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse 101 for Dummies.”

Anyway, on to my story but let me start back at the beginning … clocks tickin’

When I first heard about Abraham from a friend… I didn’t say it to her face you understand but I thought to myself… I know she means well but I don’t know if I believe in all that channeling bull-sh!t.

I don’t think some disembodied “ya who” that speaks in some crazy version of Elizabethan English knows any more than I do about what kinds of things matter to me.

Like how to make ends meet on a budget, cook a tasty mock-pot-roast in a slow cooker or get my husband to pay attention to me when he come home cranky from work.

And I sure as heck don’t believe some alien from another planet not even one from the Pleiades has anything more to teach me that I don’t already know myself.

I mean really if I don’t already know it chances are I don’t yet know I want to learn it. How can I know what I don’t know I don’t know?

But the cherry on the top of all that arrogance was when I first saw Ester’s husband, Jerry Hicks I thought OMG, this man looks like some version of an old timey snake oil salesmen.

You know like back in the 19^th century a man would pull his wagon from town to town and use his charm to prey on gullible suckers in order to sell his bottles of “Doctor Feel Good” medicine.

AND from the looks of their 70 foot, custom built million dollar Rock Star motor coach business for Ester and Jerry Hicks must be booming.

But I was intrigued by the thought of how an entity called Abraham who has attracted a following of thousands of people could in fact be some sort of scam-artist.

Then when I heard that Dr. Wayne Dyer and Oprah Winfrey ask questions of Abraham I decided it might be best if I tried to keep an open mind, suspended all my rash judgments for the time being anyway and watch a few videos.

Beside it was a friend who first mentioned Abraham to me she might ask if I have had a chance to check them out. What am I suppose to say “no I think only suckers fall for that kind of stuff.”

So I watched one… and then another… and another. I couldn’t stop watching. I hate to admit it… but in no time I was hooked. Hooked line and suckered.

Yeah, turns out I am as gullible as those thousands of attendees who have paid $295 for a one day seminar hoping to get a chance to sit in the hot seat and personally ask questions of Abraham.

Not to mention the multitude of people from all over the world who have bought the hundreds of thousands of books, CDs and videos that have been sold over the past 25 years.

OK, I know it sounds crazy excuse me I mean hard to believe but as I lay there night after night on the sofa, computer on my lap, ear-buds in my ears, listening to videos I began to feel as if Abraham was speaking directly to me… answering my questions… addressing my concerns… encouraging me to “get into the Vortex” whatever that means.

I didn’t care if Ester was reciting dictations given to her by collective non-physical source energy,” channeling a flock of chicken in a hen house or just making it all up. The wisdom coming from Abraham seemed to me to be mind altering stuff!

Ok, Ok, in case you are wondering what if anything was the benefit of me wasting all that time listening to a woman I thought might be a scam-artist.

Well let me tell you after all you have spent the last 5 minutes listenin’ to my story… here goes…

How I cannot say but the dissatisfaction with the hand I felt I had been dealt miraculously disappeared and in its place came a deep heartfelt gratitude for the life I’ve been given…

So, does Ester Hicks speak for Abraham or is it all just Abra-scam. You tell me… watch a couple of videos and judge for yourself.

Well, my times up…

I hope to see ya next week for another episode of… what I’m up to now.

Love ya, Susann

2012-05-24T09:33:00.003-07:00

It has been said of blogs: “NEVER HAVE SO MANY WRITTEN SO MUCH TO BE READ BY SO FEW”

Amen. I don’t know who said that but it’s so true. After all these months of pouring out my heart, revealing the seriously dysfunctional workings of my psyche I have only three… yes that’s right 3 official followers. And one of them is my cousin. Yeah, I know relatives counts too but still...

Sometimes I’m embarrassed by the narcissism of the whole blog thing. I have such an inflated opinion of myself (inflated is saying it mildly overblown is more like it) to think everyone I know or have ever known for that matter should drop whatever they are doing and read the latest ramblings, rants and remembrances I’ve written about in this week’s post.

Let me tell ya… It’s time consuming. I’ve spent hours writing and rewriting a single page just to toss it in the trash bin, say to myself I’m quitting. I’m delusional. Who’d care if I did anyway?

But just about the time I think what I have to say is a useless bunch of dribble I get a comment, an email or text, from a regular reader I didn’t even know was following me…

Telling me what I said made them lol, gave them some insight, cause them to be angry or flat out “disappointed” in me.

That’s when… all the time it takes to write, all the frustration of not being able to express myself adequately and the anxious waiting will anyone find value… is all worth it.

“Progress is impossible without Change and those who cannot

Change their minds cannot Change" George Barnard Shaw

A few weeks ago at a Parade of Lights Christmas party an old acquaintance I haven’t seen in a while asked “What are you up to NOW?”

In the past the inflection those people, who haven’t kept up with my latest adventures, use when they say “NOW” pissed me off. Like somehow strangely there is something wrong with me because I’ve change my mind.

"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living." Anais Nin, a Cuban-French writer

And Ok yes you could also say one week I whole heartedly believe in this and the next week I’ll probably believe in that.

Or Now, I’m selling the latest weight loss supplement and next time you ask I’m selling an incredibly over priced must-have skincare product.

Ya’ there was that time, Ok, OK, those times, I just knew I could make a million dollars in a sure fire money making multi-level business opportunity but it didn’t pan out. Ok, alright… I gave up on it… So what...what’s wrong with changing your mind.

To those who don’t keep up my life might seem like a roller coaster but one thing I NOW know for sure… I’ve learned to LOVE THE RIDE.

Thanks for listening

Love, Susann

enjoy the ride

2011-12-09T13:35:00.000-08:00

Finding Life’s Wisdom in the Oddest Places

I just noticed… is it just me or does the cap W and O in this blog title seem disproportionate in size to the other capitol letters? Fascinating!

I not sure if I am actually a fan of Dr. Wayne Dryer or not. Truthfully I think I’ve got sort of a love / hate relationship going on with this man.

Even so I own almost all of his audio books and compulsive obsessively listen to whichever one is the latest craze. Still…

I make all kinds of excuses not to read: I’m a slow reader or I fall asleep after a page or two or my mind wonders so frequently that I have to re-read the same chapter about a million times. But the truth is I prefer listening on my IPod to a book being read TO me.

If I do read a book I seldom finish … I like the set-up part OK but by the time I reach the meat of the story I’m bored to tears. But give me an audio book and I can listen enthralled for days on end.

Sounds carzy probably but I imagine Dr. Dyer is reading to me personally while I do the laundry, grocery shop, clean the house, cook dinner or when I can’t sleep at night.

Even though he said on his audio book entitled “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao” that his teaching doesn’t come from his EGO sometimes it kind-a-sounds like it does. Hence the love / hate relationship.

On those not so rare occasions when he seems full of himself I want to toss the whole lot in the trash. If you’re at all familiar with his writing you probably already know what I’m talking about.

Remember that time he thought he was the reincarnation of Saint Frances of Assisi. OMG come on give me a break. Ever notice how people always think they were somebody famous?

Who know though he could have been Saint Frances I guess. Who am I to say otherwise? I think I was a Head-Housemaid in a past life.

Oh wait a minute… I’m a head-house-maid in this life time or at least at times I feel like one… but that’s another story for another time.

Speaking of being the maid… I know absolutely for a fact I have learned everything I will ever need to know about being a chief cook and bottle washer. I’m ready for a new gig!

Seriously, anybody know of anyone who needs the services of a middle aged … amazingly talented beautiful blond? Lol,

_______________________________________

Attempting to live The Way (Tao), as Dr. Dyer instructs us to do in his book, has helped me slow down, be present more often and watch for the wisdom found in all things.

So… the other night I was watching “Dexter” on cable with my husband. Yes I know Dexter is a disturbing blood ‘n’ guts television series and watching that sort of thing is probably not a Tao-ish kind of thing to do. In fact I’m quite positive it isn’t. But what do ya’ do? I love my husband and he loves Dexter so, there it is. Ah who am I kidding I like Dexter too or I wouldn’t watch.

Anyway Debra, Dexter’s foul mouthed sister, is in therapy after a shooting incident at a nightclub (did I mention she’s also a cop) and she’s franticly complaining to a female police psychologist about how Dexter is emotionally closed off, non communicative and basically not f#@king there for her during times of trial.

The therapist stops Debra in the middle of her tirade and asks “has Dexter always treated you like this?” Hell yah, always, Debra snapped back!

Responding to Debra’s anger outburst the psychologist used a metaphor I thought was brilliant “From what you’ve said its obvious Dexter is a chair and clearly you are upset and blame him for not being a table.”

Does that sum things up the pretty police psychologist asked? Noooah, Debra heatedly retorted thinking the she hadn’t heard GD thing she’d been saying.

When suddenly Debra gasped, like a light bulb had just switched on in her head, f#@k me… you’re right Dexter is a chair what I need is a f#@king table! (Don’t blame me that’s what she said I’m not f#@king making this sh!t up) lol.

As for ME that simple metaphor exemplified something Oprah had said on her show a few weeks ago “through how a man treats you… he tells you who he is… BELIEVE IT.”

In other words don’t be shocked, hurt or act surprised when a chair turns out to be a chair… Unless he lies like a rug… in that case he’s a rug… wipe the dust off your feet and move on.

Thanks for listening… until next time

Love, Susann

2011-11-29T15:22:00.000-08:00

“What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” King Solomon

One Tao-ish thing I know for sure…

In this incarnation on this planet I have already lived through every sort of experience I will ever have good or bad. Isn’t that a comforting thought in an out there sort of way?

There will be now more new surprises. Nothing bad will ever happen that I cannot survive. Why do I know that for sure? I know because you name it I’ve already done it or its been done to me… much to my chagrin... sometimes more than once.

ü I’ve survived the loss of financial status…check!

ü The death of loved ones…check!!!

ü Losing the friendship of someone I thought was a good friend… check!

ü I’ve been used, abused, lied to and cheated on… and vice versa. I've used, abused, lied and cheated... double check!

Another really cool thing I’ve realized; for every so called bad experience I’ve had… a good one has always followed and vice versa. You might say the seed of one was germinating in the other.

Here’s an example of what I mean by that… shortly after my divorce from husband number one I was cruelly, brutally dumped by a boyfriend I thought I loved. And I gotta' tell ya'… it hurt like Hell.

For YEARS I foolishly pined over this man. I thought I’d never ever get over the emotional anguish of it all. But now looking back on the volatile nature of our relationship all I got ta’ say is “thank god and greyhound he’s long gone.”

Thanks for listening… until next time
Love, Susann

2011-11-14T18:28:00.000-08:00

How cool is that, huh?

Oprah says (don’t you think it incredible I say Oprah and instantly we all know who I’m talking about) Anyway on her new show on OWN each week Oprah says “One thing I know for sure.”

Well… one cool thing I know for sure about life is… drum roll please… if I am willing to give up my memories of the past I can at any moment have “a do over.” Well maybe not exactly a do over but certainly “a start again.” How cool is that, huh?

Over these past few months I’ve learned life is my own unique experience. Never mind what anyone else is thinking, never mind what anyone else is saying or doing it's my life and it is my god given right to live it as I see it.

I use the small g for god because as I see it god is just a name we humans have given “the all that is.” But I know of no other name to call it plus writing “the all that is” every time I want to mention it would get tedious after a while.

Anyway, Oprah also says on her new show “when you know better you do better.” If I looked back over my life I could spend hours and hours regretting this and ashamed of that, wishing something hadn’t happened or praying that something else would… like winning the Lotto.

I could live in a fantasy, being delusional, dissatisfied and frustrated. Or I could say to myself... now I know better… now I can do better… I can look at my life squarely in the face and accept what I have created.

Because it is what it is and cannot be otherwise. Everything, all of creation has come together in this very moment to fashion my life experience just for me. Wow, how cool is that, huh?

The very first thing I gave up is my disappointment. What a waste of mind. I brought everything I experience into existence so why be disappointed.

The second thing I gave up is being unhappy. You’d think that would have been the first emotion to give up but being unhappy with my creation was the main "poor me" story I told myself. So it took me some time to let go and be happy.

But when I did a miraculous thing happened… really a downright Miracle happened. I became satisfied. Yes satisfied!!! It reminds me of the Old Testament story. In Genesis… the bible says... on the seventh day God was satisfied with his creation and rested.

Well, like god when I decided to be happy no matter what I became satisfied with all that I had created. No more annexing about what I did or didn’t have, no more worrying, blaming, or waiting for something else.

Wow, all I gotta' say about that is... How cool is that, huh?

Thanks for listenin’ … until next time… Love ya, Sus

2011-06-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

“BOING”

Have you ever felt somehow all of a sudden a light bulb come on and “BOING” you realize … I’ve been walking around totally unconscious about this situation or had a misconceived notion about that?

You just know on a cellular level that this awakening can be life changing, liberating even… but… possible out of the fear of change you dismiss the thoughts… reject them as radical … then busy yourself… get preoccupied with the worries, trials and tribulations of your day to day existence… go unconscious and forget you ever had such enlightenment in the first place. I sure have! More than once.

But you can’t really forget about it, can you… it’s always there hiding in the back of your psyche like a dormant seed waiting until the time and circumstances are right to sprout and grow.

A wise and sage spiritual teacher of mine likened the awakening process to ascending a spiral flight of stairs.

Actually it was my Cousin Rose who after a long conversation on the phone one day reminded me “awakening is like taking a step up a flight of stairs.”

Sometimes your energy is strong… your vision is clear… you leap up two, three maybe even four steps in one single burst of light… then at another time, mostly at a time of darkness, confusion, and uncertainty you’re not even aware you’re standing on a stairs case at all.

It’s been my experience you can stay stuck … think it’s a landing place or you can even consciously choose to move back down a step or two she said.

It’s frightening to step away from all that is familiar… you may not want your problems but there is a certain amount of comfort in them… like a well wore pair of pajamies.

Well, enough of that!!! What in the world got into me?

Somewhere in the Bible it says “In my Father’s house there are many mansions.”

Now, before you read any further… it is not my intention to offend anyone on any level… hold on to your hat… I’m about to mention the “J” word… Jesus.

It’s amazing to me how fighting mad that name makes some people? And heaven forbid I should mention the Bible in the same breath? POW… the fight is on like Donkey Kong.

Several years back I saw Joseph Campbell on a PBS fund raiser I think I remember him saying something like… “You have to follow your own mythology.”

Well, the whole Christian thing is part of my personal mythology. I was raised a Christian and learned the verses of the Bible as a child… but I’ll try not to speak in Christianese, I promise.

I take that statement of Jesus’ to mean in my Father’s house there are many levels of awareness… states of consciousness… different illusions or delusions… or personal myths… if you will.

I have had for want of a better word an Awakening. And I so excited I just had to tell someone. So I’m telling you.

Believe me it is not my-self-aggrandizing ego that’s talking… it was what it was and I have prayed for it to happen all my life.

I had hoped when it did happen I would become a Christian. After all I’ve gone down front at alter calls to give my life to Jesus at least a dozen times… in as many different denominations.

And on every occasion I sincerely meant it… I’d raised my hands toward heaven and genuinely pray the sinner’s prayer.

I’ve even spoken in tongues so enthusiastically if you’d seen me you might have thought I was a Spirit filled Pentecostal Preacher on crack.

But… on this particular day, a day no different than any other, while setting on a cement bench at Surfers Point, and staring at the ocean the veil of illusion parted for me and much to my surprise, (because I didn’t believe in Angels)… the sky turned to rays of multi-colored vibrating light more brilliant than the sun… and a multitude of Angels and disembodied soles were singing holy, holy, ho-o-lee.

A calm stillness washed over me. I joined my voice in harmony with theirs and was instantly transported into a state of bliss so ah inspiring my words cannot convey it … needless to say but I’ll say it anyway… this experience altered my DNA…

But darn it… when I returned to the work a day work of men and their machines… to my disappointment I had not become a Born Again Christian… far from it.

It didn’t make me believe that Jesus is the one and only son of God… that he had walked on water or turned water into wine for that matter.

And even though the experience left me a-tuned to the sound… it didn’t in anyway make me care one way or the other whether Mary, Jesus’ mother was a virgin or not at the time of his conception. And thank god it didn’t make me a Republican either.

I did and still believe with every fiber of my being that Jesus was an Awakened Man… a Healer…yes I believe that… a Spiritual Teacher… absolutely you bet I believe that… but still a man… a Hebrew man, a Jew … and like me not a Christian.

I’ll bet you any amount of money… if I mention that tiny little tidbit to anyone at my friends church they would probably think I’ve been sent there by the Enemy, the Evil One, the Devil to adversely influence its members.

I’ll bet you too they’d all pray for me… you know they would and if I didn’t repent, forsake the darkness and accept Jesus Christ as the only son of God… and that he died on the cross for my sins I might even be asked to leave the church and not come back.

Darn it all anyway I like my friend’s church. The people seem genuine. I don’t even mind the songs they sing that much… and on Sunday the Minister usually delivers a good thought provoking message…. But…

Can’t I just be a Devote’ of my Teacher of The Way whose name is Jesus and leave it at that?

“My Personal Myths are a Mixed Bag”

In all fairness to my Mother’s family I feel I should mention… I was also taught to believe in the practice of Astrology, Numerology, The Torah, how to read rider back playing cards and this one is actually my favorite… the art of using my imagination to escape the physical body.

Something I said just reminded me of what my mother-in-law Janice told me after the whole blog fiasco, you remember Janice don’t you… anyway she said... you have too much time on my hands if you have time to write that blog. You need to get a life. I added that last part myself. lol, lol

Whatever… she could be right but I get enjoyment from writing my blog so … as Shakespeare said “all the world’s a stage and each must play his part” and part of my part is telling my stories.

I think we do play a role…that is until you decide you’ve learned every single thing you can possibility learn from the experience and choose another role or stop acting all together.

Most the time I think we simply choose another role solely because we don’t know how to leave the stage… exit stage left.

Well, I here to tell you it’s the easiest thing you’ll ever do… once you get out of your own way… and believe it’s possible to do it… It’s that simple.

It's like Peter Pan said… all you need is to believe… and of course alittle fairy dust.

“The Silk Worms Dilemma”

To be continued…

Thanks for listening,

Love Sus

2011-04-28T16:08:00.000-07:00

“Looking for a Signal”

I have spent a lot of time over my life praying for a sign… Oh God please, give me a sign. But I’ve never seen so many people waste so much time looking for a signal…

A month ago I had an opportunity to go away with a Christian friend of mine to an Alpha Fellowship Retreat for the weekend. I had no idea it was going to be so cold or that there would be snow on the ground but that’s another story altogether… for another day.

My god the way we all acted you’d a thought we had spent the 4 hours driving up a winding mountain road to the top of Big Bear… then through the slushy snow and mud… back into the woods far away from civilization… to a YMCA camp… just to spend all our free time searching for a telecommunications signal in order to send a text.

I mean really… I’m asking you “Have we all gotten so dependent on technology that we can’t go away for a weekend retreat and leave our smart phone at home?

It might just be me but I can remember a time when getting away meant actually getting away… away from the phone, the TV, and the children.

A time when if you needed to check-in with the mother-in-law about the kids you had to wait until you got back to the lodge to use a pay phone.

Don’t get me wrong I took my phone along with me too… but… I guess… I must have miss-understood I thought that this was supposed to be a RETREAT.

I mean, I thought…we were to withdraw to a quiet and secluded place in which we could rest, relax and recuperate. I also thought “fellowship” meant: friendly association with people who share a common interest i.e. fresh air, conviviality and in this case Christ… not Blackberry, Android and IPhone.

In all fairness… the smokers in the group did seem to bond as they commiserated their fate at having to trek ¾ of a mile up a gravel road to the nearest smoking area outside the camp.

I didn’t know every ones name and alas we didn’t wear name tags so I have no idea who it was but at one point on the first day I heard someone call out… over her everybody.

If you stand right here she said standing stiff in the corner between the brochure table and the door… you can’t make a call or send a text but you can check your facebook. Are you kidding me?

I couldn’t help but think she looked like one of those stuffed grizzly bears you use to see in mountain lodges. To tell you the truth I had to cover my mouth and turn away to keep from laughing out loud at the thought of it.

Then another time at lunch on Saturday my friend’s son Kyle stood up pointed toward the camp entrance and proudly announced like a mighty hunter bragging about his recent kill… I got 3 bars this morning out there by that big yellow sign. Kemosabe!

Then another intrepid member of our little tribe said thumping on his chest and not letting Kyle out do him … I was able to make a call last night. If you stand on the third step of stairs leading up to the dining hall…

You can align with the second star on the right, then it’s straight on till morning … He didn’t really say that I just through it in. LOL

It was comical though to watch everyone frantically scampering around the camp with their cellular phones raised high in the air… searching for just the right spot where they might find a strong enough signal… to make a call, send a text or check their e mail.

Sorry, I haven’t written lately

My Grandson Jason has come back to live with us while he gets his life back on track. He’s 22 and right now MY computer is his lifeline to the outside world.

Jason’s been a big help with all the chores around the house that I have been putting off… like finally clearing out the garage, sorting through my clothes in the master closet and taking all the giveaway’s to the goodwill.

This time I’m really enjoying his company. I say this time because when he lived with us before he was going to high school and I thought it was my job to MAKE him want to get an education and to listen to all my sage advice. (If you’ve ever had a teenager you might be able to relate.)

I thought if I bullied, yelled, and tried to control him he’d listen. I’d shout, cry and get angry when he didn’t then say “someday you’ll look back on this time and be sorry.”

It took my oldest daughter Karen almost seventeen years after she left home to realize she’d missed out on all the possible adventures she might have had if she had gone to college as I wanted her too.

Over the years it’s been self-affirming to listen as she gripped about how she tried to tell her step-children the importance of an education and how frustrated she was that they wouldn’t listen.

Life’s ruff out there now for someone without a high school diploma so it didn’t take Jason quit so long to have some regrets.

After filling out about a million applications on line for jobs Jason didn’t want he finally landed an interview with a national retailers automotive department.

Jason almost couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the words… Your application has been accepted would you like to schedule an appointment?

You’re damn right I would Jason said grinning from ear to ear. Grandma what time should I pick? What time will work for you? Will you drive me there he asked? You’re damn right I will I enthusiastically said answering him back.

It took him 3 interviews, a drug test and a back ground check but he got the job… you understand this is not just any job to Jason it’s a career opportunity.

He has always loved anything having to do with cars. That’s all Jason ever talks about. He’s an encyclopedia about make, model, engine type and performance of almost every car on the road.

It’s all a foreign language to me but I listen because I enjoy hearing how passionately Jason speaks about the subject.

Here all along I thought Jason didn’t get an education because I expected him to conform and learn the things our society wanted him to learn. I was wrong. I of above all people should have known… one size never fits all.

I love Jason with all my heart. I am so proud of him. Thank God he has grown into a fine young man… and truthfully that’s all I have ever prayed for.

I don’t what to sound like a gripe but … What’s the deal with Cupcake Wars?

Every time I turn around my husband is watching Cupcake Wars. In case you haven't seen it... it’s a pastry competition on The Food Network. It comes on at a time when we both should be fast asleep.

Jim says he hates the show but almost every night turns it on the TV in the bedroom. He says I’m not sleepy... then falls asleep while we're watching... but by that time I’m hooked on the darm thing and have to stay awake until midnight to see who wins the $10,000 prize. Yawn!!!

To be continued

Thanks for listening…

Susann

2011-03-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

“There are Some Good Things to be said about Dementia”

Thank god I live in an old folk’s condominium complex. Jim just hates it when I call this place that. He says it makes us sound old. This is an Active Adult Community he says. Yeah right, whatever!

Truth is several residents here, just like me, have lapses of memory. Thank goodness it’s a blessing really. Many of them can’t remember my name much less if we did or didn’t have a run-in 6 months ago.

Take Bee for instance. You remember Bee don’t you? Yes, you’re right I did say I wasn’t going to tell stories about actual living people anymore… but hey, how boring is that?

Besides it’s really all about me anyway. Isn’t it?

Driving Miss Daisy

I came home the other day to find my garage door wide open and Bee setting in her Scoot-Around-Chair, parked in the middle of my driveway.

With that annoying little yipping dog of hers tied to one end of a rope she was holding in her hand. For some reason I can never remember its name. What is it's name? Oh yeah, it’s Miss Daisy!

Bee was noticeably frantic. I had barely gotten out of the car before she blurted out I’ve been here for hours guarding the stuff in your garage.

You must have driven off and left it open she said her voice sounded accusing. Or maybe it sounded reprimanding.

Either way, whatever her inflection her words momentarily made my skin feel flush and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

Bee was exaggerating. I had been out running errands but I'd hardly been gone for hours. I was sure I had watched the garage door close as I drove away. So, I thought to myself what in the world could have happened after I left.

I was on my way to take Daisy for her morning walk in the park Bee continued. But when I dumped my trash I noticed your garage door open.

The whole time Bee's talking Daisy's running around in a circle chasing her tail, yipping and growling at me all at the same time like she always does whenever she sees me.

Come to think of it… it seems like all the old ladies here have a little yipping dog. Call me anti-social if you must but I just hate yipping dogs.

The Belles (that’s what the women here like to call themselves) even organized “a Doggie Day at the Park.” Really, I’m serious they dress their dogs up in tiny little doggie togs and parade them around the park like a Toddlers and Tiaras Beauty Pageant.

Now, I’m asking you… how precious is that? Truthfully, I think they look ridiculous. I’m almost embarrassed for them. And from the mess they leave behind it might as well be called “Puppy Pup in the Park Day.”

Anyway, back to my story.

I thought you’d never come back she said. Daisy has got to go and she’ll only go in the park. (See, it figures. I just pray she takes a bag and a pupper-scooper with her).

I was on my way to take her when I saw your garage open Bee repeated. Somebody could have gotten in and taken your stuff. Take my stuff… are you kidding me? I almost laughed out load.

First of all, everybody here is at least 60. Many of them, like us, lived in a big house with a lot of rooms and a boat load of STUFF before moving here. And obviously by the looks of their garages they were unable to part with any of it.

Seriously, their garages are stuffed with all kinds of things. Boxes stacked to the ceiling, dining room furniture, coaches, recliners, TVs, even box springs and mattresses.

One guy even sits in his recliner, in his garage and watches his TV. Another guy has a rolled up carpet on top of an old car. Really would I lie to you? No, it’s not a priceless Persian area rug… it’s just a big piece of rolled up beige carpet.

You know what it looks like to me? One of those old abandon cars parked on the side of a house, you’ve seen ‘em, all rusted, tires gone flat with weeds ‘n’ grass grown up underneath.

I mean really… these are supposed to be luxury condominium and he keeps a rusted out car and old carpeting in his garage. What’s up with that?

Now I ask you… Bee said someone might “take my stuff.” With so much stuff of their own why in the world would anyone living here steal the junk from my garage that I was supposed to take to the Goodwill months ago? Lol, lol

Anyway on with my story… I couldn’t even get a word in edge wise with Bee. She was so excited and talking so fast I thought for a minute she was the one that had to go pooh in the park.

But Bee’s curiosity got the best of her so she calmed down and stayed to watch as I try to close the door. I pushed the button several times but the darn thing would get about half way down and then just go right back up.

Oh, I said to Bee that must have been what had happened when I drove away “hours” ago. I knew I had stopped to watch it close before driving away.

Huuue, thank god, my wiring is not totally fried… though the other day I did put a dish towel in the spoon drawer.

Anyway, nothing was blocking the doors sensors so I couldn’t understand why it wouldn’t close. Bee insisted she search the complex to “find a man to help me” she said. Ah… OK now, Bee doesn’t know me very well does she?

I don’t need a man to help me I said trying hard not to sound annoyed at the thought. I’m perfectly capable of figuring this out for myself, but thanks for the suggestion?

Translation: bug off Bee… go drive Miss Daisy … I’ve got this!!!

Actually It was no big mystery turns out a bolt on one of the track had come loose. I couldn’t find our toolbox. I’ll bet it’s underneath all those Christmas boxes I haven’t put away. I really should get that done this weekend.

I guess with all the vibration of the door opening and closing over time the bolt had just worked it’s self loose… Anyway, holding the nut with one hand I tightened the blot with the other and the door closed just fine.

The Tipping Point, The Last Straw, Back Against the Wall, My Moment of Truth

I suppose there come a time in every person’s life when they come to the edge of the cliff and there is only thing left to do… take that proverbial “leap of faith.”

To be continued…

Thanks for listening, love ya, Susann

Write to me… at lemminaide@gmail.com

2011-02-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

“You know, sometimes you’ve just got ‘a say… What’s That?

A couple of days ago I got an e mail advertisement from the Toy’s R Us stores offering a buy any 1 Fisher-Price toy priced at $ 24.99 and get another toy for the same price FREE. (Note: for-the-same-price is the key word here) It sounded like a good deal… since I have three great grandsons now.

After searching all over the giant super-store for sales associate (which I never found by the way) I happened to stumble on the aisle of Fisher Price toys for toddlers.

Well, to my surprise there was only one toy on both sides of the aisle priced at $24.99…. yes, you heard me right… 1 toy! And it was for a girl. Oh, excuse me I probably need to rephrase that… it seemed to me to be gender specific.

I could be wrong though. I’m a bit old school and more than likely set in my ways of thinking. If a pink baby doll stroller is suitable for little boys these days then who am I to say anything different?

Whatever, that’s not the point. The point is… how can I buy 1 toy for $24.99 and get another toy for-the-same-price FREE… if there is only one toy on the shelf for that price… What’s that?

Part Due… or never go to the phone store when you need a cup of coffee!

After lunch with my Thursday Friends… ah, on Thursday I had to make a quick stop at the Verizon Store to pick up a new battery for my cellular phone.

Did you know they ask for your name and phone number now the minute you step in the door? Yes, they enter your information into a computer right there on the spot practically before you have a chance to get all the way inside the store.

My eyes had hardly adjusted to the change in light before a young man approached me. I was startled at first. It’s been years since I’ve actually gone into a phone store.

May I have you name and phone number he said with a big smile that reminded me of Robbie the Robot. You remember Robbie don’t ya? Oh well, movin on…

For a second I thought it might actually be funny to give the young man my home phone number. I’m ornery enough to do something like that but I was feeling a bit out of sorts and all I wanted to do was buy the battery and go on home.

The young man politely said go ahead help yourself look around a tech support associate will be with you in a moment.

After I had a chance to acclimate myself to my surroundings I noticed the store was bustling with customers. All standing at a long bank of computers each being assisted by a twenty something tech support associate as he called 'em.

Hardly a minute had pasted when I heard my name being called. That same young man that stopped me at the door stepped up and directed me to the next available associate.

Hello she said, my name is Mandy, with that same robotic smile, how may I assist you today? But before I could get a word out about why I came into the store Mandy stopped me and insisted I give her “my secret code.” So she could access my account to better serve me she said.

Why do you need to access my account just to sell me a battery? What secret code? What are you talking about I said? Truth is the place felt chaotic and I couldn’t think.

Mandy was unfazed by any of my questions and quickly gave me a clue… it’s numerical she said, all the time smiling. What good training I thought to myself. Numerical huh… oh yeah I remember now.

Well, thank goodness she was persistent ‘cause I was completely unaware that I have been paying for an extended warranty on my cell phone for 2 years.

If you order it today you can not only get that new battery but you can get a brand new up-graded Blackberry Smart Phone absolutely FREE she proudly announced. Sounding like Bob Barker telling me that I’d just won an all expense paid trip for two to the Bahamas.

It was all happening so fast I was too confused to think. Yeah, sure, I guess…. it's free huh... go ahead order it… I said.

It wasn’t until after I’d stopped next door to get a coffee at Starbucks that I had a chance to think about what had just happened… wait a minute... I want an IPhone.

I’ve been waiting for years for Verizon to get the IPhone. Now they finally have it. My old 2 year contract has ended. I’m due for an upgrade. I’ve even got an extra thirty dollar discount coming when I buy one.

I’ve never been happy with my Blackberry and now I’ve ordered another one. What just happened?

Let me see… I’ve been paying $7.99 a month for two years… that’s $191.76 damn… can it really be that much. Let me calculate that again. Yeah, it’s right! Free, what’s so free about that?

Darn it all, I guess I shouldn't complain it was sort of free. Yeah, sort of free... BUT IT'S STILL A BLACKBERRY… I want an IPhone... What’s that?

Hurry call 911

I lost my place let me see what was I talking about oh yeah; it was so noisy and chaotic in there I couldn’t think… it was disconcerting. It seems I’ve been feeling like that a lot lately.

Jim was so concerned he almost called an ambulance one Saturday thinking I was having a heart attack or something worse he said. I asked what in the world could be worse than having a heart attack?

A stroke maybe I guess… or both… knock-on-wood… cross-my-heart and hope not to die. Whatever, less, I digress…

After the phone store incident I thought maybe he’s right maybe there is something wrong with me. Is my sugar dropping too low? Is my blood pressure rising too high? Should I be eating more protein? Add more fats to my diet? Do I really need to eat some cooked food as my friends suggest?

You know when I ate crap and felt like sh!t all the time no one ever said a word. When I was puffy, bloated and 30 pounds overweight nobody, not nobody questioned… was I eating a balanced diet.

Anyway, a really good friend of mine who happens to be a Holistic Doctor (that’s him over thereß) said… “Susie, you have a little bit of information about heart disease and a lot of imagination”… don’t worry, I’d stake my life on it you’re not having a heart attack… you mean I said you’d stake my life on it.

He’s right I know I over dramatize everything. I’m just gon’na stop worrying about whether I can or cannot think. Or if I’m going to die from malnutrition and start putting my focus on the many positive changes that are happening as a result of my raw food diet.

For one thing and the most obvious I guess I’ve lost over 16 pounds. It’s easier to breathe probably because I lost the fat from around my middle. My scene of smell has improved. Eating a raw diet cleanses your palate so I can actually appreciate the taste of food. Let’s see what else…

Oh, yeah …when I stop jabbering to myself, griping about something, or beating myself up over some mistake I made or something I said, and actually pay attention to my inner space… I feel a serene.

Here’s the deal… I can think when I really need to think if not… oh well... I’m sure someone will tell me if some un-godly pledge is about to befall us and we’d all better run ‘n’ hide under the covers.

Oh, I almost forgot about the crackers!

A reader said she couldn’t wait to hear why I make seed snack crackers in the bathroom. I promised her I would tell the story this week and she would probably kill me if I didn’t.

First let me say I believe there is nothing wrong with un-cooking food in the bathroom. I keep my bathrooms clean besides the toy-tee is in a separate water-closet.

Actually, truth is it’s just a matter of aesthetics really. My Excalibur dehydrator is 19” X 17” X 12” so you see basically it’s a large black box… to me it’s a little bit unsightly for my beautiful kitchen.

Besides I’ve got a blender, a juicer, a food processer, a toaster oven, a coffee espresso maker, a large cutting board and my Kangen Water filter on the counter already. (I really need to tell you about my Kangen Water filter next time. It's an amazing machine)

Oh, I almost forgot this one important detail, the crackers have to be dehydrated for 24 hours straight and the dehydrator fan is a little too noisy for Jim. He doesn’t like it running while he is watching TV in the evening. Truthfully, I don’t like the constant humming during the day either.

In the evening that I might listen to a bit of Eckhart Tolle, play some tunes on my IPod, or watch a few television shows or a movie with Jim. But during the day I like the apartment quiet. I don’t play music and I certainly don’t watch television.

So, you see it only makes since to put the dehydrator in the bathroom, no body uses that bathroom anyway. I can turn on the exhaust fan shut the door and no more noise… Voila, I’m brilliant, huh?

To be continues…

Next week… Monetization, Kangen water, and mixing it up with “Fuzzy Wuzzy Rabbit Balls”

Thanks for listening… sincerely, I Love you all… until next time… Susann

Contact me by e mail at… lemminaide@gmail.com

You may share my blog and please do with whomever you like. All I ask is that you share it in its entirety, so that all the information is intact and in context for the next reader. Thanks! Susann