Lemonade Divorce

The Mouse In My House

Alison Patton — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 05:55:02 +0000

We have four cats—all hunters who, despite the bell we affix to their collars, regularly bring us catches from the canyon: mice, rats, birds, lizards, even an occasional baby rabbit and King snake. As early as six-years old, my kids became adept at either rescuing a still-live animal from the cat’s mouth (which they’d release [...]

Happy Thanksgiving, and as we officially launch the holiday season . . .

Alison Patton — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 05:00:26 +0000

I am reminded of a quote by Matt Groening (creator of The Simpsons): “Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.” (And this applies whether you’re married, separated, divorced or single.) Good luck and hang in there!

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” (My advice: try mediation first)

Alison Patton — Tue, 02 Oct 2012 15:39:44 +0000

Feed the Love, Starve the Anger

Alison Patton — Thu, 03 May 2012 21:27:12 +0000

(photo by Anant N S) You never know where you’re going to get the next piece of wisdom. Yesterday my son and I were at Trader Joe’s grocery store, enjoying a quick morning chat with a store employee named Wendy who runs the sample station. Wendy is one of those persons who knows how to [...]

The Pursuit of Happiness

Alison Patton — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 18:47:00 +0000

I just finished The Happiness Project, a book by Gretchen Rubin based on her year-long project to make her life happier. It was a good read with tips I’m going to integrate into my own life. When this book came out in 2009, book clubs started their own happiness projects based on Rubin’s formula. As [...]

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability

Alison Patton — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 07:50:14 +0000

Very inspirational and thought-provoking – a good way to start a new year with a new vision.

Surviving the Holidays

Alison Patton — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 07:07:16 +0000

(This blog post ran in 2010. I’m posting it again this holiday season due to positive feedback from readers last year. If this is your first holiday season separated/ divorced, don’t lose heart. You can do it! Read on!) The child in me will always love the holidays. I take such pleasure in traditions–hanging our [...]

Sabbatical

Alison Patton — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 06:51:41 +0000

The Divorce Doc will be taking a sabbatical! Yes, after a wonderful year and a half of blogging and writing, I am taking a leave to spend time with my family and to travel. I will be out of the country for part of the time, so please forgive any delayed response to emails and [...]

Is Monogamy In Marriage Unrealistic?

Alison Patton — Tue, 31 May 2011 08:11:44 +0000

(As originally published on Huffington Post Divorce, May 23, 2011) After years of handling divorces, I thought nothing could shock me. And then a client told me about Ashley Madison, the website for “The discreet who want to cheat.” Their slogans are: “Life is short, have an affair,” and “When divorce is not an option, [...]

The Silver Lining of Divorce

Alison Patton — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 22:24:24 +0000

Starting your divorce? In the middle of your divorce and need a little inspiration? Click here to read this article about life after divorce and how your actions now will help you build your future.

Something to Brighten Your Day

Alison Patton — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 20:30:58 +0000

This is a video of a homeless man in Santa Barbara and his pets. They work State Street every week for donations. The animals are pretty well fed and are mellow. The man rigged a harness up for his cat so she wouldn’t have to walk so much. At some juncture the rat came along, [...]

More About Forgiveness . . . And Life’s Little Ironies

Alison Patton — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 19:49:58 +0000

I remember Marianne Williamson once saying that when she prayed for a more spiritual life, it came . . . in a series of tests and struggles. Well, I’ve had my own ironic moment just recently. In my post last month on Forgiveness (click here to read full article), I wrote about my personal experience [...]

Is Your Ex Worse Than Charlie Sheen? –A Discussion of High-Conflict People in Divorce

Alison Patton — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 19:07:47 +0000

(As originally published on Huffington Post Divorce, March 2, 2011 Headline Article by Alison Patton) Charlie Sheen keeps telling us he’s special, but is he really that unique? We’ve read volumes about the king of custody battles, Alec Baldwin. We’ve followed the ranting of Mel Gibson, most recently from recorded tapes leaked by his ex-girlfriend [...]

An Expert Weighs In on Forgiveness

Alison Patton — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 04:34:23 +0000

A heated debate took place last month on Huffington Post. The subject was forgiveness of your ex after divorce. Blogger Erica Manfred claimed that “moving on” is all that’s necessary and you don’t have to forgive your ex. Her arguments are well-written and persuasive, but I disagree with her opinion and decided to interview an [...]

I’m Blogging for Huffington Post Divorce

Alison Patton — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 22:04:03 +0000

A very nice thing has happened–I’ve been accepted as a blogger for Huffington Post Divorce section. So now you can find my work on Lemonade Divorce and also on Huffington Post (called “HuffPost Divorce” for short). I will regularly post links here, on Lemonade Divorce, to my Huffpost Divorce articles so they are easy to [...]

What Do You Really Want in 2011?

Alison Patton — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 09:08:11 +0000

I’m a big believer in New Year’s resolutions. Every January, my friend Lorraine and I spend a day together making our list of what we’d like to see happen in the new year. We pull out last year’s resolutions, check items off, carry forward what isn’t complete, and add to the list for the year [...]

Surviving the Holidays

Alison Patton — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 09:04:54 +0000

The child in me will always love the holidays. I take such pleasure in traditions–hanging our outdoor lights, getting the tree, retrieving the Christmas boxes from the attic, spending one night of Hanukkah with friends. Along with the glitz and magic, however, comes the reality that holidays are hard on everyone, divorced or not. I [...]

Huffington Post Launches Section on Divorce

Alison Patton — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 01:51:15 +0000

They are calling it HuffPost Divorce and I’ve checked it out. I like the feel of it already. It will have articles, information and commentaries on a variety of issues related to divorce. I love what Arianna Huffington wrote in her post: “I’ve always thought that, as a country, we do a lousy job of [...]

The Path to Healing

Alison Patton — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 01:10:51 +0000

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt I have a friend, a woman who is smart and talented, one of the nicest persons I know. She was divorced a few years ago. Whenever I see her, whether it’s the two of us over coffee, or at a [...]

I’m Guest Blogging Today

Alison Patton — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 16:46:42 +0000

I am guest blogging today at Motherlode, Lisa Belkin’s blog on The New York Times. It is a post about parenting and how expectations for your children are similar to those you may feel for your spouse. Check it out on Motherlode.

The Amicable Divorce: Is it possible?

Alison Patton — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 01:33:44 +0000

In yesterday’s New York Times parenting blog, Motherlode, the question was asked by editor Lisa Belkin: “Is it possible to have an amicable—truly amicable—divorce? Today I read all 33 of the Motherlode reader comments, many of which express doubt that an “amicable divorce” is possible. I understand the doubt as well as the readers’ frustrations [...]

The Show Must Go On

Alison Patton — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 20:12:16 +0000

I frequently hear that the most difficult part of divorce is the ongoing parenting relationship. At the end of a marriage, the normal desire is to minimize or end contact (at least temporarily) so one can grieve the loss. When children are in the picture, this isn’t an option. Divorced parents are required to have [...]

Recipes for Divorcing Families

Alison Patton — Mon, 10 May 2010 20:57:01 +0000

I’m adding a new section to Lemonade Divorce and here’s the story behind it. As passionate as I am about helping people through divorce, there’s one thing I love even more–cooking. When I started Lemonade Divorce, my good friend Stephen Elbert emailed to ask why I hadn’t included any recipes in my website, such as [...]

All you need is love

Alison Patton — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 23:57:03 +0000

Having a bad day? Watch this video. Sometimes we can’t see the bigger picture when we’re in the middle of a crisis like divorce. I love this video because it reminds us that even when we feel the most alone, the whole world is out there waiting for us to rejoin it when we are [...]

In Times of Great Pain

Alison Patton — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:00:52 +0000

Today I write with a heavy heart, because two persons I love very much are separating. They have three young children and feel as if their world has imploded. Every time I think about them, I feel a profound sadness wash over me as if for a brief moment I am living their lives. It [...]

A day of inspiration with David Whyte

Alison Patton — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 06:53:04 +0000

Today I attended an all-day lecture by author and poet David Whyte, at the new La Jolla Yoga Center. David Whyte was amazing. I’d never heard him speak before, never even read one of his poems. I went only because the owner of LJ Yoga Center, Jeanie Carlstead, recommended him on her website and I [...]

My Mission

Alison Patton — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 08:00:33 +0000

Welcome to my blog – The Story of the Divorce Doc Probably the best way to start this blog is to go back to the beginning…. During the time I was creating the Divorce Doc concept, I sat down with a best friend to hash over my vision. I explained to her what I was [...]