Author Mary DeMuth

Today and tomorrow I’ll feature guest posts from Mary DeMuth, author of Beautiful Battle

(Harvest House Publishing, February 2012) and 12 other books. Mary is somewhat of an expert on spiritual warfare, having spent several months on the front lines while she and her husband, Patrick, and their children served as missionaries in the south of France. I hope you’ll join us both days. We can learn great information and gain powerful resources by sitting at Mary’s feet with regard to this topic.

Here’s Mary:

I run the same route when I jog through my neighborhood, memorizing each house, lawn, street. This morning I run with pain because of an exercise boot camp the day before. My legs ache and they don’t lift like they should. They’re a study in shuffling lethargy. Still, my dog Pippin runs ahead of me, unaware of my internal battle to keep running.

In a hiccup of a moment, my left foot catches a rise in the sidewalk and I fly through the Texas air. Thankfully, I throw my hands in front, and my palms catch me before my head hits the cement. My knees block the blow too. I turn over, watch the cloudy sky for a moment while Pippin gives me a curious look. I’m sure he’s wondering why I’m on the ground and he’s still standing.

The spiritual life is like this sometimes. We run along familiar surroundings, unaware of sidewalk rises. And once we grow weary and shuffle, the rise catches us and we fly, then fall onto the cement. The truth is, we have a very real enemy bent on stagnating our growth, or eliminating it altogether. He is determined that we not shine Jesus everywhere we go. And he utterly hates God’s great redemptive plan played out every single day. So he watches us. Studies us. Then finds ways to trip us.

If we want to thrive, we must understand the spiritual battle swirling around us. This is a huge subject, though—one I’ve written an entire book about entitled, Beautiful Battle. There, I expose Satan’s ways, his lies, and reveal a pathway of victory, not one that comes from steeping ourselves in evil, but one founded on the supremacy of our God. To get a basic understanding of the warfare around us, remember four things.

#1: We have an enemy.

We do have a tangible enemy who wants nothing better than to steal from us, kill us and destroy us. But God has the upper hand. He sent His son Jesus to vanquish Satan’s destructive bent for this earth and our souls. On the cross, He bore the weight of our sin, died for it in a perfect sacrifice, then rose again, conquering death. After we humbly acknowledge this outrageous act and give our lives to Jesus, the Holy Spirit moves in, giving us the power every single day to defeat the enemy’s schemes.

#2: The enemy isn’t others.

Our battle isn’t against folks who vex us, or even our circumstances. The Apostle Paul reminds us that we’re “not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12, NLT).

Even when we’re longing to see people we know meet Jesus, the battle isn’t against them. It’s about the world system Satan constructs. We must remember that we “win” not by winning an argument, but by falling to our knees and seeking God’s wisdom and power.

Paul encourages, “We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. And after you have become fully obedient, we will punish everyone who remains disobedient” (2 Corinthians 10: 3-6, NLT).

Be sure and come back for Part 2 tomorrow.

Here’s a bit about us:

 Thomas Umstattd runs the Marketing Academy. He’s uniquely qualified because:

1. Thomas is still in his twenties (oh the energy!), Thomas has pioneered several successful companies.
2. Thomas has a passion not only for social media and web presence, but he understands the needs of authors. Check out his site, Author Media.
3. He’s a real-time thinker and strategist, constantly keeping up with the next new thing. He knows how to sift through what is fluff and what marketing efforts bring true success to authors.

 Jeff Gerke runs the Fiction Academy. He’s uniquely qualified because:

1. Jeff has published several books, including novels and books for Writer’s Digest on how to write novels. He also is a nationally known editor for several publishing houses.
2. He’s a prolific speaker, sharing his seminars and proven techniques for both character and plot development around the country.
3. Jeff inaugurated Marcher Lord Press, a publishing house for speculative fiction. As its founder, publisher and chief editor, he knows how to shepherd writers through the publication process.

 Mary DeMuth runs the Nonfiction Academy. Mary is uniquely qualified because:

1. She’s traditionally published twelve books, and has also learned the art and craft of e-publishing and Print on Demand.
2. She understands the importance of platform. She’s learned the power of marketing, tribe creation, and social media engagement. Follow her on twitter!
3. She is passionate about helping other writers. She wrote a book about it. And I’ve mentored writers for years on my successful and well-visited writing website. She also has a teacher’s heart, mentoring and teaching writers all over the world.

Cool side note: If you sign up for the Nonfiction Academy, you get Mary’s nonfiction proposal tutorial (100+ pages, $25 value) free with sign up. The Bestseller Society folks had a lot of fun setting this site up. They laugh a lot, learn a lot, and give a lot. What you get with membership:

• Hours and hours of un-boring, super exciting video instruction (and we introduce new content often).
• Upcoming podcasts on trends, craft, and marketing
• Printable resources
• A mastermind forum where we coach you, and you learn from other writers on the journey
• Freebies on proposals, queries, marketing plans, and character sheets
• Access to guest teachers–particularly top agents, editors and publishers
• Heavy discounts on products and tutorials created by industry insiders
• Curation of content. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out the best information and what will really help you get published and get noticed. We find the best, most success-producing content and deliver it to you.

You want to publish a book. We want to help you get there. Join the Bestseller Societyand watch your publishing dreams come true. Free ways to connect:

• Follow the Bestseller Society on Twitter
• Like the Bestseller Society on Facebook

Join the Bestseller Society

Still in first is the dreaded gynecological exam. Apparently, having to sit in a freezing cold room for an hour wearing nothing but a large paper towel until your doctor examines your female parts still terrifies more women. Understandably so.

But mammography has made progress recently. No more feeling like your breast is flash-frozen, then run over by a tractor. Thanks to the machine’s special padding, your breast stays warm while being run over by a tractor.

Women everywhere who’ve reached a certain age applaud these small, yet significant technological advancements.

In the meantime, what has edged into second place?

Trying on swimsuits.

This loathsome chore endured by women all across our great nation—yea, throughout the world—now ranks right behind the pap smear. Normal, everyday women must endure this regular shredding of their self-esteem. A woman can walk into a department store, confident and cheerful. After five minutes of trying on swimsuits, she’s a crumbling heap requiring an assurance transfusion.

Eager to help, store employees offer suit after suit over the door, gushing, “This one would look great.” Really, except for the fact that it showcases my worst features: my jiggly arms, my thighs, my calves, my feet, even the turkey waddle on my neck. It tries to camouflage my rear, my pooch and my sagging chest, but fails miserably.

Why can’t designers create a swimsuit poncho?

I’ve never understood the dichotomy. Even as men’s trunks get longer and longer (most extend past their knees), women’s swimsuits become skimpier, revealing more.

The recent improvements in the mammogram department got me to thinking. What would it take to make the swimsuit buying experience less painful and embarrassing? If mammogram patients now feel comfortable and contented, certainly retail chains can add a few special touches to improve the ritual of trying on and purchasing swimsuits. Take notes, retailers. Here are my ideas:

• Add candlelight—or, at the very least, install dimmer switches. This way we mid-life moms don’t have to view our pallid skin and cellulite thighs under fluorescent lights.
• Play peppy music. As my head bobs to The Go-Go’s or Beach Boys, I’m thinking less about the girth of my gut or the size of my thighs. Grocery store chains employ this strategy to keep me shopping longer.
• Install special “skinny” mirrors. Fun houses at the State Fair boast mirrors that distort our natural images, making us look like Humpty Dumpty or sport Jay Leno chins. Why can’t retailers install skinny mirrors to make women look 5-10 pounds lighter? At the very worst, stores might need to post signs warning: Objects in mirror are larger than they may appear.
• Mount fans to blow air. This long-time secret of actresses and models makes anyone look like they’re driving 30 MPH in a Mercedes convertible.
• Display past installments of Star Magazine’s annual Stars without Makeup or Cellulite Fright issues. Somehow, seeing beauties such as Cameron Diaz, Teri Hatcher or Jessica Simpson caught unprepared and make-up free offers me encouragement regarding my own aging face and body. It’s hard to say why ogling Gwyneth Paltrow’s cottage cheese thighs gives me a boost.

I usually wait until I’m thinner (So it’s only two or three pounds. What’s it to ya?) and tanner (which, unfortunately, if it happens is usually the third week of July), before I get up enough courage to shop for swimsuits. By that time last year, there was precious little left in the store. I found only three bikini bottoms, two mismatched tops that were too small anyway, a one-piece that could have housed my family on a camping trip, and a cover-up with a rip in it. Not much to work with.

If we’re forced to try on and purchase swimsuits in April and May, we midlife moms should demand better trying on conditions from retailers. Who knows? Swimsuit-trying on might slip to Number 4 on the most painful or embarrassing life experiences—right behind telling our mother-in-law we’re spending Christmas with our parents or having our preschooler find the Mother’s Day card he made us tossed in the trash can.

Now it’s your turn. What other ideas do you have to make the swimsuit try-on experience less painful?

Case in point: I received an email last week from our leader. I’ll call her Shelby. (For this writing, I’ve chosen to “rename” her husband Ted.)

Well, I am thankful that we happen to be in the midst of our Forgiveness application because I have needed it!  Poor Ted!  First, I didn’t make the proper transfers into our checking account, so Ted goes to the ATM at 6:30 in the morning on his way to a business trip and receives an “INSUFFICIENT FUNDS” alert!  Oh dear!!!!  I woke up to a text nicely asking “why this is so”.  All I kept saying to myself was “IGNORANT”, “IGNORANT”!!!   Thanks Travis [a member of our group] for putting that reminder in my head!  I quickly corrected my wrong and never heard about it again.  Thanks for the grace, Ted!  

THEN, I had another “oops!”  We lease my current vehicle, and the lease is up in 2 months.  We are returning the car in great condition ~ as long as I can avoid any mishaps over the next 2 months.   Well, someone started to pull out in front of me in a parking lot, so I pulled to the right a little bit to avoid a collision only to find there was this random 2 inch ramp that scraped up my rim all the way around!  Ugh!  I was so mad, and I knew Ted would be too.  :/  Before I could even explain my side of the story, he said “don’t worry about it”, “it’s no big deal” – totally extended me forgiveness and grace.  Whew!  I was relieved!  Thanks again Ted!

Now, these things are frustrating, but in the big scheme of life, they are minute.  It is easy to fall into anger, frustration, and irritation with your spouse over these types of situations.  Ted could have really let me have it over these two careless mishaps, but he CHOSE grace and forgiveness.  And not only was I blessed by that, but he was too.  I also know the next time I have a mishap to share with Ted that I will not be so apprehensive/nervous to share it with him because I was met with grace.  He made me feel safe and secure in coming to him with my troubles.  I believe we all want that.

So, be encouraged!  Extend your spouse forgiveness and experience the benefits you both will receive.  

I think all Christ-followers need this kind of connection, intimacy and transparency with fellow believers. But we don’t always get it.

After a week on the beach at South Padre Island in far, far, far south Texas, I’ve returned home with a new perspective, a fresh perspective, a renewed spirit. What a blessing to enjoy down time! The only things required of me all week included a decision about where to park my beach chair and umbrella and a daily shower before dinner. Other than that, I talked with my husband, visited with my in-laws, read, slept, ate, walked, and prayed. R & R supplied much-needed stress-relief.

Part of my relaxation came in the form of reading books. I finished two books about marketing:

• Seth Godin’s All Marketers are Liars (with a New Preface): The Underground Classic That Explains How Marketing Really Works–and Why Authenticity Is the Best Marketing of All
• Timothy Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich (Expanded and Updated)

I started (or continued) a couple of novels. Reading empowers me. I feel smarter. Challenging my brain by reading as quickly as I can invigorates my very soul. I decided I need to add book reading to my regular routine. I say book reading because I tend to focus my attention and energy on blog posts, Facebook updates and Tweets. As the cast of Seinfeld would say, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” but I need the additional challenge that reading—and more importantly, finishing—a book provides.

What are you reading? How has it encouraged, challenged, invigorated you?

“Antibiotics won’t help.”

My mind reels. Unspoken rants bounce through my brain. What do you mean—antibiotics won’t help? That’s what you always give me. Please, tell me you’re kidding.

“You’ll just have to get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluids.”

For this I pay $135.

Ironically, I get the same diagnosis and prescription from my mother for free.

No offense, but in my book the doctor is there to dole out precious little pills to magically make me feel better. If he doesn’t, then how has the visit been helpful? It’s done more harm than good. Let me explain. Because I expected to get medicine to help me feel better, my mind and body were dependent on him dispensing medication.

When I’m told I’ll be getting no antibiotics, my body goes into panic mode—much like the last ten minutes of a James Bond movie. You know the one where James is trying to keep a nuclear reactor from going off and a female Russian voice continually drones, “60 seconds and counting.” (Only the 60 seconds takes about 10 minutes.) During that time, alarms sound, warning lights flash, people, desperate to reach the exit, scramble over one another in survival mode. “30 seconds and counting . . . ” My internal alarms have sounded—no antibiotics incoming!

At the risk of sounding like I’m addicted, I need those drugs. I believe medicine will make be better. As a mom, I have a lot of people counting on me. My children need cereal and Hot Pockets. Do you think milk just buys itself? My husband needs shirts taken to the cleaners. I’m out of clean underwear. The world doesn’t stop just because I get sick. Though I wish it would, it doesn’t.

It’s hard for any mother to be sick. Though it’s not quite as consequential as, say, a world leader coming down with the flu, the government of a household goes completely out of whack when the mom gets sick.

Projects don’t get done in a timely manner. Kids don’t have what they need to wear for school. Plus, have you ever noticed that the time Mom gets really sick, with something like Asian flu or pneumonia, that’s the day all three kids will need to have projects done for school. Not just any project, but ones requiring cooking, and grocery shopping, and a beautiful presentation of the food. This turn of events means Mom, a blend of grace and steel, manages to pull herself from the warmth of her covers and direct the cooking show. The product will be superb. The kids will be grateful. Mom will have “done it” again. She isn’t called Mom for nothing.

Unfortunately, this superhuman feat won’t please Dad. He’ll be lurking in some dark corner, watching, waiting. And at just the right moment, when Mom has collapsed onto the sofa, exhausted, her recovery pushed back two days, he’ll say, “Honey, you’re not going to get any better if you keep getting up and doing stuff around the house.”

Gee, I wish I’d thought of that.

This time around, I abide by my doctor’s seemingly ridiculous diagnosis of a virus. I take Tylenol and Advil every four hours. I gargle with salt water. I drink lots of juice and ginger ale. I watch far too many DVDs, until my back is sore from inactivity. On some level I even enjoy my little mini-vacation from housework.

But I can’t believe the thought that keeps running through my mind: I can’t wait to feel better so I can get out of this bed and do something.

“At last, we’ve found some middle ground. With the advent of The Mommy Award, mothers will finally be recognized for their real life devotion, service and love.

“Welcome to the First Annual Mommy Awards!

“Let’s get started by introducing our first presenter. You wouldn’t want to do anything wrong around this mom, because she has access to CIA files, surveillance equipment, even the Secret Service. Join me in welcoming former First Lady—and First Mom to Barbara and Jenna—Laura Bush.”

“Good evening, everyone. I’m glad to be here to honor moms everywhere. In the category of First-Time Moms, our nominees are:

• The Rookie Mom—Poking fun at the reality series craze, this film follows four moms who give birth in the same hospital during the same week as they battle one another for the role of Best New Mom. It captures their struggle to make dinner, sleep while the baby sleeps, wash, feed and clothe their newborns, while attempting to still make time for their husbands.
• A LaLeche League of Their Own—This docu-drama examines the ups and downs of nursing. Poignant moments revealing tenderness and closeness between moms and newborns are interrupted by hilarious real-life examples of breastfeeding mishaps.
• Lord of the Teething Rings—Chronicles one mom’s treatment of her children’s teething rings and pacifiers. With each subsequent child, she progresses from sterilizing, then washing off, and finally blowing on them invoking the three-second rule.
• Honey, I Shrunk the Kid’s Onesie—A young mother who can’t even keep up with the laundry demands of a newborn confesses her inadequacies to her husband.
• Oh, Mother, Where Art Thou?—A Type-A mom struggling with her three new stepchildren copes by literally escaping from them. On different occasions, she’s found hiding on the roof during a thunderstorm and in the minivan eating Froot Loops® from the box.
• Breast of Show—Trailers for this wacky romp hooked audiences with the scene in which one mom laments her lot in life, saying, “I never thought I’d be bearing my breasts in public and not getting paid for it!”
• The Natural—Refusing all medications—including an epidural—one mom stoically gives birth to a 14-pound baby. The film goes on to chronicle her insistence on using cloth diapers and nursing her son until he’s three.

“And The Mommy goes to . . . ,” Mrs. Bush rips open the envelope,  “A LaLeche League of Their Own! I’m happy to accept this award on behalf of the producers, who couldn’t be here tonight. Unfortunately, they’ve been arrested for indecent exposure for breastfeeding in a shopping mall.”

Announcer’s voice: “Thank you, thank you, Mrs. Bush. Let’s move on to our next category and our next presenter. Herself nominated in the “What Were They Thinking?” category for naming her children Phineas and Hazel—along with Gwyneth Paltrow who named her daughter Apple, help me welcome All-American mom, Julia Roberts.”

You might be a mommy if . . .

You’ve ever told your pediatrician, “No, you’re wrong.”

You’ve ever washed a pair of jeans that were so dirty they could stand up in the corner by themselves.

You blush at the thought of your annual exam, but you asked your brother-in-law to video (and edit!) your youngest son’s birth.

Must-reads include Good-Night Moon, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, and The New Dare to Discipline.

Fine art is a crayon gallery.

Because you have four children under six, you are constantly saying to unintentionally impolite question-askers, “Yes, I do know what causes that.”

The truth is . . . you sometimes wonder what causes that.

You’ve ever had to tell your in-laws you wouldn’t be visiting them for Christmas, or, more likely—you’ve made your spouse do it.

During the past year you’ve found yourself thinking how smart your mom is.

You’ve ever left your baby in the same diaper all day because you forgot to restock the diaper bag.

You were smart enough to pack away all of your white clothes until your children were at least five.

The healthy snacks you decorate for your children never quite taste like the magazine promises.

The birthday cakes you bake are never level—no matter how much frosting you spread on them to even them out.

Your tween daughter finishes your sentences for you.

And she’s right most of the time.

You don’t know whether to blame your ever-failing memory on having kids or turning 40.

You’re the only one who ever removes lint from the dryer lint trap, uses leftovers from the refrigerator, washes out Kook-Aid™ containers or changes the sheets.

You’ve ever scraped gum from in between the treads of your son’s basketball shoes.

You’ve ever driven carpool in your PJs.

You argue with your kids, who complain they’re out of cereal, that there are still six boxes left in the pantry.

But then, as you pick up the boxes one-by-one, they’re empty—except for the one semi-healthy kind which is stale because no one folded over the plastic lining.

You’ve ever wanted to pinch, throttle or make a voodoo doll that looked like a kid who was ugly to one of your children.

I hope you’ll add a few of your own.

You might be a mommy if . . .

You’d give just about anything to go potty without ten—or more—fingers wiggling, trying desperately to reach you under the bathroom door, with a voice whining, “Mommy, I need you.”

You tee-tee—just a little—whenever you jump on a trampoline, sneeze or watch the courtroom scenes of Liar, Liar.

Pampered chef means the baby slept all through dinner preparations.

One of your children has ever thrown up in your bed, in your car or on your husband’s boss’s new white carpet.

Or on you.

You’ve ever watched your child sleep—for an hour.

You’ve videotaped said sleeping.

You’ve ever shut a kid up by giving him a pacifier—or your pinky finger—to suck on.

You wonder if you’ll ever eat a hot meal again.

You’ve ever wondered if one of the nurses mixed up babies in the hospital.

Your To Do list reads, “Get through the day without yelling.”

You sample baby food as a strategy to get your kid to eat it.

You’ve been peed on, had your hair pulled, and been kicked in the nose—all during the same diaper change!

You’ve sacrificed the last tater tot, chicken nugget or cookie to a kid who wanted it.

However, when you’re PMS-ing, you hide food—especially anything with chocolate—from your kids.

You’ve ever put on a Band-Aid™ when you couldn’t even see a scratch.

You begged and pleaded with your baby to say, “Ma-ma,” in an effort to get her to say your name first.

You’ve regretted your actions two years later when you couldn’t get her to shut up.

You’ve ever been in a stand-off with a two-and-a-half-year-old . . . in a Walmart checkout.

You’ve waited—for what seemed an interminable amount of time—directly outside the stall door at a rest area as you waited for your son to say the words, “I’m frew, Mommy.”

A few years later while stopped at the same rest area, you’ve agonized over sending that same son into the men’s restroom—alone for the first time.

More tomorrow—on our countdown to Mother’s Day.

Images of stick-thin models torment the general population. And many simply give up, indulging their weaknesses on a regular basis because doing something about it just seems too hard. But not one particular north Texas woman.

Today, I want to celebrate the amazing journey of my friend, Bobbie Shield. She’s not a celebrity. She’s not going to appear on the cover of Woman’s World Magazine, although her story certainly warrants it!  She’s a regular woman—just like you. She’s a wife, mom and grandma. She works at a local hospital. She’s active in her local church and even helped with a church plant to Las Vegas a few years back. Here is Bobbie’s story in her own words:

Bobbie Shield--Before & After

One year ago God answered a prayer I’d been praying since becoming a Christ-Follower in 2000. I have struggled with my weight all of my life—a battle that has taken me down some very dark roads. My prayer was for God to get me off of dead center. Since I uttered that first prayer, I’ve toyed with losing weight only to bring it back to me and not to Him. One year ago God took me out of the equation and made it all about Him. I haven’t looked back since.

My body is a temple for the Holy Spirit who dwells in me. The Lord keeps taking me back to scripture in Daniel—where Daniel ate the bounty of God’s provisions—to show me He is all I need. He will provide. He has provided. He will continue to provide. Losing the weight has been the vessel. The caveat is my connection and relationship with Jesus in this last year. It has been totally incredible and such a blessing. God has shown me things about me and my life that I glossed over for years. By His grace and with his help, I have hit these things head on and have become victorious through Jesus!

To date, my temple has lost and will maintain a loss of 50 lbs and 42 total inches. The treadmill has become my best friend, as has exercise.

I know that it is only by the GRACE and BLESSING of God that I have been able to achieve this. Not by my strength but His. He has carried me all the way, and I will continue to give it to Him!

I feel healthier than I’ve ever felt in my life. I am freer than I have ever been from Satan’s hold on me through my self-image.

I hope Bobbie’s story inspires you—not necessarily to diet and exercise (though that may be exactly what God’s calling you to do)—but to seek God’s face, to desire His will for your life, to run to Him in every need.

Bobbie has truly learned to thrive it up! And I’m so proud of her.

What about you? Do you have any stories of overcoming pain or sin or a struggle in life? I hope you’ll share with the rest of us—and allow us to be blessed through your testimony.