Lessons for Love

"Who am I?"

2009-09-23T02:21:00.000-07:00

Love will almost always ultimately demand that one engages in a level of relationship with the other person. This relationship often leads to getting to know the other person better. The most important step to knowing the other person is knowing oneself first! Do you know who you really are? By "knowing who you really are", I mean discovering what you are inside, your strengths as well as weaknesses, your potentials as well as limitations. This can be achieved by removing the "mask" (if any) we have put on because we wanted other people to see us from a certain perspective.
It is hard to accept this, but society would want us to be somebody we are not! Oscar Wilde put it this way: "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinion, their lives, a mimicry...". I think it is a virtue, trying to be oneself. It could be quite challenging because by default, we tend to try to "flow into the mould" created by society so we can be accepted! There are relatively acceptable norms and ways of life, but I always tell people in love (or who want to start a new relationship), "be yourself", and let him or her love you or not love you! Follow me on subsequent posts to learn why!

"Do you love YOU?"

2009-09-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

The next time someone tells you, "I love you", ask them, "Do you love yourself?". This most important step on the long road of love is what I call "self-love". This is simply, knowing yourself and accepting who you really are, with all your strengths and weaknesses. It also includes accepting the things in your life that you cannot change, and realising that there are things you can change, and being willing and ready to change them. It is a sad scenario to be in a love relationship for a long time, and be told one day, "I didn't know you this way..."

Lessons for Love

2009-09-18T01:13:00.000-07:00

I have found it very challenging to find a title for this blog. All titles I intended to use were unavailable. This is partly because there has been so much written and blogged about the subject of love. Having been a relationship and marriage counselor for many years, I have read most of these material, desiring to know what is available online. Some of these are brilliant, offering very useful life experiences as well as practicable advice.

In this blog, I intend to move away from the sensational to reality. It is very easy to portray the ideal situation. We have all come across the "magical formula" to improve our love lives. This often includes all manner of tips and tricks meant to produce the ultimate for a perfect relationship. However, it is very important to look for practical answers to real questions: "Who is the best person for me?" "Are we compatible?", "How can I start a new relationship right?", "Will this relationship work?" My passion is to share my experience, hoping that someone will greatly benefit from them.