tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7737700048633857102026-01-29T03:06:39.261-05:00A Christian Counselor's reflections on faith, life, love and God in the day to day...Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.comBlogger273125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-31541761859646803052013-03-19T22:28:00.000-04:002013-03-19T22:28:51.890-04:00

As some of you may have noticed, my posts over the last year have evolved from devotionals into articles about love, marriage, dating and relationships in general.  This has always been a passion of mine and I am so thankful that I  have been blessed with the incredibly opportunity to publish a book with Zondervan publishing company, writing about the things I love.   My new

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-89616707526399206352013-02-27T15:27:00.002-05:002013-02-27T15:37:12.383-05:00

  My husband and I were out for our Valentine's day date a couple weeks ago.  We were starving- and lucky for us we had planned to eat at our favorite Seafood Grille.  We got a sitter, got all dressed up, and headed over to our destination- ready to have a night to ourselves, enjoy each others company...and frankly, ready to pig out. Upon arriving we got some unfortunate news-

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-65766355172467081702013-02-19T16:08:00.001-05:002013-02-19T16:08:57.722-05:00

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Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-38937040370683553982013-02-09T22:48:00.000-05:002013-02-21T21:39:29.081-05:00

Genesis 2:18 I will make a helper suitable for him... I used to believe that true love was all about the romance.&nbsp; I remember the late nights coming home after a date and exclaiming to my roommates: "He paid for dinner, he opened the car door, and he even gave me his jacket when I was cold!"&nbsp; Its funny how fixated I was on things that...15 years later...have very little meaning in

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-55544393082976376972013-02-02T17:01:00.003-05:002013-02-02T17:01:55.985-05:00

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” As a therapist, I've been hearing about a lot of bad relationships lately.&nbsp; Christian friends, family members, and even clients opening up and sharing about their struggles, weaknesses, and straight-up dysfunction in the area of boy + girl. To say I'm surprised by these things would be an overstatement,

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-9539646115119899162013-01-24T22:39:00.001-05:002013-01-24T22:39:55.053-05:00

Often in life, our greatest enemy isn’t a person, external obstacle or impossible situation—it’s our internal struggle with our past. 
For Andrea, that was exactly the case.&nbsp;She was stuck in her past. Unable to get over the struggles of her youth, she kept looking back. Fixating on the neglect, reliving the abuse, analyzing the rejection. Twenty years later and she's still asking why

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-88013836908243741992013-01-18T15:59:00.000-05:002013-01-18T15:59:13.095-05:00

1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. After one of my relationship talks I was approached by a beautiful young woman.&nbsp; She wanted to share her story and seek out some advice about a dating situation she found herself in. She had met this great guy through their church's young adult group.&nbsp; He was handsome,

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-48585513748251803032013-01-12T14:53:00.000-05:002013-01-12T14:58:49.234-05:00

Mark 12:31 Love your neighbor as you love yourself. I tweeted a message asking "Why do you think God asks us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves?" One young woman tweeted back saying: "I hope He calls us to love our neighbor as HE loves us...b/c sometimes,&nbsp; I don't love myself very much". Her answer to my question made me stop and think.&nbsp; From what I've seen and

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-33313091993991444082013-01-01T15:31:00.003-05:002013-01-01T15:32:32.698-05:00

Luke 10:27 "He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'" I've noticed something pretty disconcerting.&nbsp; I'm not as focused as I used to be on the things that matter most. Surrounded by cell phones, technology, noise, and social media- sometimes it's easier

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-35162400705828618312012-12-31T22:28:00.000-05:002012-12-31T22:28:21.886-05:00

Ephesians 3:20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. It's the end of another year.&nbsp;&nbsp; It's amazing to think of the different meanings that phrase holds for different people. For some, it is the passing memory of some of the most significant and joyful moments of their lives.&nbsp;

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-87558022373461313872012-12-29T00:04:00.000-05:002012-12-31T22:29:19.882-05:00

[Love] is not self-seeking... "Have you ever said, 'I love oranges?' Exactly what do you mean by that? &nbsp;You are actually saying oranges do something for me. &nbsp;But after you have squeezed everything you like out of the orange you will throw away the peelings... Biblical love is not getting all you can from another person but giving all you can." I read this quote today, reminding me of

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-49493947387637759432012-12-19T16:00:00.000-05:002012-12-19T16:00:05.268-05:00

Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. What is up with dating being so complicated these days? I understand that we are complex human beings by design...but was it ever supposed to come to this? I receive hundreds of emails from young men and women who have read my articles and posts...and who all have one thing in common- they are looking for love.&nbsp; While I love hearing from

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-22797941754011012232012-12-16T17:00:00.001-05:002012-12-17T22:19:53.330-05:00

Proverbs 14:26 Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge. As a nation, it is safe to say that we are all carrying heavy hearts.&nbsp; The tragic events of Friday, December 14th&nbsp;will not quickly be forgotten in our hearts nor erased from our minds.&nbsp; The day when young, innocent life was brutally slain. Snatched from the hearts and

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-60334904081986808622012-12-13T15:39:00.000-05:002012-12-13T15:39:07.435-05:00

&nbsp;[August 2006: Philadelphia, PA. Shortly after my arrival back from Egypt, and one month before we would be officially engaged!] June 9th, 2006 Exactly one year before John and I were to be married.&nbsp; But believe it not, though we felt the closest we'd ever felt to one another emotionally, geographically- we were thousands of miles away. Instead of spending my summer with my

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-90725780740033194882012-12-09T22:26:00.000-05:002012-12-09T22:26:11.193-05:00

1 Corinthians 7:32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.&nbsp; Does the Church embrace singleness?&nbsp; I threw that question out there this morning on my True Love Dates Facebook page. &nbsp; It was interesting to read the thoughts and responses from young men and women, but one woman's comment caught my

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-32495165874900925512012-12-03T21:35:00.000-05:002012-12-03T21:35:53.683-05:00

1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..." I was having a conversation today about the stark difference of being in love and being in need.&nbsp; When you really get down to the roots of each kind of love, they are unmistakably polar opposites, although from the outside in they may appear the same.&nbsp; There are many who believe that they have fallen in

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-73873523606962507792012-12-02T15:20:00.000-05:002012-12-02T15:20:21.820-05:00

Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. December always arrives so slowly, but disappears so quickly.&nbsp; For me, it symbolizes the end of something old, and the hopes for something new. As this year comes to a close, I've really been challenged by the idea of peace.&nbsp; Just turn on any news station and you will quickly learn that

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-62814083417640829432012-11-30T16:27:00.000-05:002012-11-30T16:27:33.000-05:00

As November passes by we are one month closer to the release of my book, True Love Dates (Zondervan, August 2013)!! I'm excited to announce some of the subtitle ideas we've been brainstorming with the team at Zondervan, and would ask that you please take a moment to comment and place your vote! All who vote will be entered to win one of the classic dating books by Dr. Townsend and Cloud

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-35808919143047168802012-11-27T15:55:00.000-05:002012-11-27T15:55:06.118-05:00

Genesis 2:18 It is not good for man to be alone... "Jesus is your boyfriend now..." I was watching a funny you tube video by this comedian who talks about stuff Christian singles hear.&nbsp; It's full of phrases that most Christian singles have heard at some point in their lives.&nbsp; Lines about waiting on God, happening when you least expect it, and viewing Jesus as your

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-57144990832223377312012-11-25T21:57:00.002-05:002012-11-25T21:57:52.399-05:00

Matthew 25:40 Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. We were walking the streets of D.C. early this week, surrounded by shops, restaurants, and of course...homeless people.&nbsp; As we walked by this one particularly busy area on a Sunday evening we noticed 3 homeless men, fighting for a spot on the street. A fourth man walked by,

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-77620064614727586812012-11-11T16:06:00.001-05:002012-11-11T16:06:54.875-05:00

Matthew 5:37 "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'..." They'd been dating for about 4 months.&nbsp; Everything seemed to be going great.&nbsp; They got a long really well, had similar interests and goals, shared beliefs and values, and simply had a lot of fun together.&nbsp; But all of a sudden one day, she seemed to back off.&nbsp; Just like that.&nbsp; No warning.&nbsp; No

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-76250447890643287152012-11-09T15:43:00.001-05:002012-11-09T15:43:50.382-05:00

Hebrews 3:13 So encourage each other daily...so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.&nbsp; My cousin Jennifer is one of the most encouraging people I know.&nbsp; For the past year I have been observing her bless and encourage the people around her with phone calls, text messages, emails, and so much more.&nbsp; It seems so natural for her, as though she doesn't even

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-9519483434740883882012-11-06T14:51:00.003-05:002012-11-06T14:51:41.130-05:00

Genesis 19:26 But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt. One of the greatest things that inhibits us from moving forward...is our past. &nbsp; For Andrea, that was exactly the case.&nbsp; She was unable to get over the struggles of her past.&nbsp; The neglect.&nbsp; The abuse.&nbsp; The longing for love.&nbsp; Longings that were never filled.&nbsp; Love that was never

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-76992484558006149832012-10-31T21:57:00.001-04:002012-10-31T21:57:17.063-04:00

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was hunter, known for his beauty.&nbsp; Filled with pride, he loved himself so much that he was unable to love others.&nbsp; Eventually, he was led to a body of water, where he glanced his reflection- unbeknownst to him- and fell in love

Debra Filetahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07853049897352960188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-773770004863385710.post-79956047819938951062012-10-28T19:30:00.000-04:002012-10-28T19:30:10.905-04:00

I was just taking in my life the other day and looked to my husband and said, "When exactly did these little people get here?"&nbsp; It's amazing how quickly life goes by and how fast we have transitioned from newly weds, to love birds, and now to the parents of two amazing little kids (Ella- age 2, Elijah - age 5 months).&nbsp; 5 years has gone by fast, and we're excited to see what God has

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