Let My Heart Speak

Agneepath

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 11:13:00 +0000

Today I saw the movie Agneepath. All have done commendable job. Thought being a remake yet I feel this movie has a soul of its own. It should not be compared with the old one.

Ambivalence

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 13:39:00 +0000

Thoughts can either be shared or ignored. All these days I chose to ignore them. I had no intention to write them down. Even now I do not say I've come back. I never want to come back.
We claim that we have so much to say, to share. But at the end all this saying and sharing turns out to be some creepy emotions having no face value as such. Our mind gets titillated by what we experience around us. Even now I do not know what I am writing.

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 12:41:00 +0000

Where do I belong to?

Heart Knows

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 10:35:00 +0000

I know that my heart knows what I want to know. Unfortunately, I do not know how to know what my heart knows! It is true. It is not that I am not capable of knowing but the truth is till-date I have not fully succeeded... not even partially succeeded, so to say. My mind is a cluttered junkyard. It takes hell lot of pain to de-clutter it. I start every time and fail every time. This goes on and will continue till eternity. Do I have that much time? Who knows! Do I have an option? No

Life has no option. As the saying goes "All roads lead to Roam". We have to reach where we belong sooner or later; the choice is ours.

Nevertheless, I'll continue to de-clutter the mind and hope that I am successful in this life itself.
After all, it is imperative to know what the heart knows!

Present

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 13:36:00 +0000

Does yesterday ever matter?
It does and it doesn't.
Yesterday is a log book of our mistakes, errors, falls, frustrations, failures, deviations, distractions... Most of these are our own creations, after all, somebody said "To err is human". In these respect yes, yesterday matters. Yesterday gives a perspective to realign our lives. Yesterday gives a reason to connect with the Self... In a way yesterday forces us to think what went wrong and where to look for the answers. What we want in life may not be what we need actually! (It is really difficult to accept this.) Yesterday, practically, helps us to understand this, provided we are open-minded enough to grasp.

Once the lessons are learnt yesterday remains nothing more than a fading memory... a story...

But people who spend their present in the dungeons of yesterday are the people who do not love this beautiful life given by the Almighty to live in present.
Therefore, stay in present and thus, make life a present.

I Will Change

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 13:15:00 +0000

Suddenly a ton of load has descended from nowhere. I am feeling little helpless (but, somehow, not hopeless). The load is manifestation of fear of tomorrow.
Sometimes I do think (contrary to what my college ex-roommate thinks about me) about the way I have conducted my life. At times it looks totally unplanned, aimless go. But if I look back I see myself moving, though not at full throttle yet moving. I cannot say whether the pace is convincing or not. Hmmm.... It is not. Because somewhere inside me I know I am not giving myself to whatever I am at.

I want to change, I have to change... I will change

Black Buffaloes

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 06:29:00 +0000

Sometimes it becomes very difficult to understand who is more incompetent; the teacher or the student (here I). Never before in my academic career I have felt so helpless with my studies as I am feeling now. My specialization is in Control Systems but things seems to be out of control for me.

Syllabus is there... teachers are there... books are there... Unfortunately, there is no coherency among the three. I do not understand what teachers teach... When I refer to books I do not understand what books say! Never before words looked like black buffaloes... Worst of all the reference books are not available and those that are available are with the teachers. It is already assumed that the students are not worthy of using the librtary optimally.

Nothing Matters

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 17:59:00 +0000

Sometimes nothing matters in life... absolutely nothing... it feels you should be just with yourself... all the commitments, all the relations, all the networks everything looks ephemeral...

Written Sentences

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 16:10:00 +0000

I have written a lot of rhyming sentences in my blogs Mera-Dil and HearT SpeaK. I never thought it will come this far. Secretly, I have been waiting for the thoughts to dry up. But it has not yet happened. Will it ever happen? I wonder.
The more I write, the more it comes.

Rated My Life

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 12:53:00 +0000

Just took a quiz which rates one's life. Looks good!!!

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.4
Mind:	7.6
Body:	9.4
Spirit:	8.8
Friends/Family:	5
Love:	1.5
Finance:	5.8
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 17:56:00 +0000

Hmm...
The silence inside me is giving way to my thoughts. Thoughts are poring in or are they just leaving me! Donno...
It is beautiful to watch them pass by; different shades, colors, contours, depth, height...
Everything and everywhere they are... Amazing na!!!

Remarrying after divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 14:24:00 +0000

Some of my friends, after knowing that I am doing MTech, asked me that how does it feel like being a student again. My reply was "The feeling is same as during remarrying after divorce".

Holiday (Or So I Think)

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 06:31:00 +0000

Semester exams are over. Now sitting in front of the laptop, blogging.

Get up

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 10:22:00 +0000

Here I am sitting in the CCN (Computing Facility) of my college. Prior to coming here I went for a long walk after a long time. It was great! The idea was to reduce my waistline (may be I was very optimistic from just one walk ;-)). Also, to gain some insight into the world I live in.

These days I am trying to wake up to the real world form my dreamland. Hopefully, I get up soon

Attitude vs Talent

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 10:13:00 +0000

Yesterday came across a presentation given by Hasha Bhogle on Attitude vs Talent. It was very enlightening. He said that talent may take one upto a certain level. But to go beyond one has to develop the right attitude. People who have not failed and bounced back will never know what to do when faced with adversary. Winners are not born but people strive hard to become one. They have a vision, a passion and a mission.
Kabir's one of the couplet says it all "karat karat abhyash ke jar mati hot sujan, rasri aavat jat te sil par part nishan".

Happy Diwali

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 15:56:00 +0000

Tomorrow is the festival of light (Deepawali). A very HappY Deepawali to all of you.

I do not know what to say. I can hope that a Deepawali may come some time in future (do not know whether I'll be able to see it) when in true sense the festival of light will light everyone's life. A distant hope!

I want to write incessantly but my thoughts and ideas seems to be jumbled up. Do not know from where to start.

Recess

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 12:03:00 +0000

Back in the world of blogging after a refreshing recess.
Enjoyed 18 days vacation with the family. It was almost a year when I was with them for so long.
Now back to business: searching a new direction and destination!

Learning the hard way

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 11:44:00 +0000

What type of product we expect to come out of our schools and colleges were teachers see teaching just a job!
Here I am expected to learn a subject, prepare power point presentation and teach the class. Worst part is that library do not contain proper reference books. The teacher has given up saying that even he is new to the subject and "wants" to learn along with us without giving any input from his side. The onus of the subject lies on three of us. God only knows how we are going to learn this subject!
The motivating factor: Expect not and thou shall not be disappointed.

I"LL DO IT

Just Do It

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 05:52:00 +0000

Yesterday I wrote Right Time. I was not sure of myself then (and so am I today).

But today I came across four guiding principles of life: Courage, Confidence, Will and Faith.

Courage to take the untrodden path,

Confidence that I can trod on the path,

Will to move ahead fighting all odds and

Faith in the Almighty as the guiding force.

I have nothing new to say. The slogan of Nike reverberates in my ears

JUST DO IT

Right Time

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 12:20:00 +0000

Everything has a right time. Many of my friends have followed the right course. Completed their education, got a job. Now getting married to settle down. Some have even moved a step further; parent-in-waiting!
The inevitable question comes: where am I?
On a philosophical note sometime back I wrote

Where am I or
where I am not?
Where am the Universe
or just a dot?
Where am alone
or one in lot?

But reality is no-philosophy. But I have no answer too. People take charge and guide the course of history of their life. I have not yet learnt the art. Most of my friends have accepted the reality and moved on. But I could not. It is not that I do not want to but somehow I could not.
Is it that I do not know what I want! It is more of an expression than a question.

Long Hiatus

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 12:51:00 +0000

I have been on a kind-of forced vacation from blogging; still I do not know whether I am really back :-)
Life has moved on. Now I am pursuing MTech from NIT Kurukshetra in Control Systems.
One thing that has rally wondered me and made me think:whatever I have wanted I have got in life. But by the time I have received it I have lost the interest in it. I do not know whether this happens with me or is common with others.
Does it mean Nature is very generous in giving but also strict: it wont give what we want when we want but when it is really needed.
My coming to Kurukshetra was not a conscious decision. I was preparing to get into IIT for MTech. I was striving hard but then something happened 2-3 months before the exam that I could not study. It was the time when suddenly I lost interest in the real world. Was being carried away in some remote world, I do not know where. In this suspended state of mind I gave the exam without thinking of the consequences. Results came out and my rank was very poor. I almost lost hope that I'll get admission this time in any of the IITs and it was true. Someone suggested me to apply in the NITs and I did. NIT Kurukshetra was not at all in my cards. Somehow I did not wanted to apply here... again I do not know why!
But the reality is that I got admission only here... and that too in the subject I wanted to pursue, Control System.
Was my destiny delayed by my seer inaction or not the adequate amount of action? The later seems to be true. I have to come out of the inactive state and respect whatever I have, build upon it.

Probably this is what even God wants from me!

The Road of Life

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 09:52:00 +0000

Journey through the road of life,

Is a walk on the edge of knife.

Focused and engaged we may cross,

Lose them and it may cut across.

Faith and confidence are must,

Shun them; life-bubbles are burst.

Walk is not rough,

Our manifestations make it tough.

The thought may go on and on…

Some time back I was thinking about problems we face in life. What are these problems? This question took me to my school days. I could very easily co-relate. Initially I was taught the alphabets, the numbers…then came the words, simple arithmetic problems… followed by sentences, tougher problems… and the complexity increased. Isn’t life same too?

One thing that I have understood about Nature (or God or whatever we may call) is that EVOLUTION and nothing but EVOLUTION is its (avoiding gender controversy ) ONE and ONLY agenda. Whenever Nature feels that we need to move ahead, learn new lessons it blesses us with “the problems”, we hate the most. We are left with no option but to face. Worst… there is no escaping. Till we master what Nature wants us to master, the problem will recur again and again in different forms.

No one remains the same before and after the arrival of pain (or problems). The title of a very popular self help book says it all “Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do”.

Nature wants us to accept life in totality; learn to except the good, and the bad too, with ease. This is possible, I believe, with Faith in the Almighty and Confidence in the Self.

And then, is it not life all about choices we make? We can choose to be happy in the grimmest of situation and other way round. This I have seen in my life very clearly. I graduated with engineering degree… got placed in a MNC (a dream job for many of my friends)… drawing a handsome salary (among the highest in my batch)… and here I was miserable: always tensed, my blood pressure going high, could not sleep… always restless. Today, I have no job… no income… have registered for Masters (after facing intense competition)… the future is uncertain… BUT I AM HAPPY. I sleep well… get up with “an expectation from the self and hope from the world”… thank God for this life (an opportunity worth cherishing for)

My Spiritual Mentor gave a very beautiful suggestion. He said that Never try to quit anything bad (or bads) in you. It is stressful and frustrating process. But the BEST thing is to add as many good as you can and a time will come when the bad (or bads) will automatically leave. A good analogy could be adding new items in our small room: to make space for them we need to throw out the not-so-necessary ones.

At the end… as always so now… these “speech” is my HearT’s SpeaK, mind just gave them words!!!

Wait and Watch

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 11:24:00 +0000

Coming days are going to be hectic and probably, if things go as planned then life will embark upon a new voyage in a new sea, like the sailors of the bygone centuries braving natural furies to find new waters and new grounds.

For now it is just a wait and watch and act when time permits

Guilty/Innocence

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 08:35:00 +0000

Thank u very much Aishoo for tagging me. This is my 2nd G&I question series (first time being tagged by Shree). Some of the answers "improved"....hahahahaha

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent. Aisi kismat kahan (No luck yet :()!!!
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty. Many times: my brothers...(After all DOSTANA not allowed ;-))
Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent. A dream yet to live...hayyyeeee
Ever told a lie? Guilty. I'm a baggage of lie. Beware.hehehehe
Kissed a picture? Innocent. In dreams (this doesn't count as guilty, I guess)
Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty. Do 5PM falls within 24 hr clock?
Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty. Uhhhhhhhhh....umpteen times
Held a snake? Innocent. After watching guys flirting with snakes in Nat Geo n Animal Planet....Hmmmm I can think of it some day :P
Been suspended from school? Innocent. Always feared being thrown out... therefore behaved!!!
Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent. I am diet freak... my conscience would not have allowed to do so!
Stolen from a store? Innocent. Not yet
Been fired from a job? Innocent. Not exactly
Done something you regret? Guilty. I have regretted so much that even regret is a small term..hahahhaha :P
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty. many a times
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent. Is it same as keeping ice cream on the tongue? Then Yes Guilty
Kissed in the rain? Innocent. Nope (Actually kissed the rain Please do not make anything out of it)
Sat on a roof top? Guilty. Main, meri tanhai and roof top (I, my loneliness and roof top... Inseparable )
Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. I din't have the Golden opportunity to kiss (in right earnest and passion ;-))
Sang in the shower? Guilty. I am a Shower singer...lllalalalalllololololalalalala
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent. Who can dare to to that to ME???
Shaved your head? Guilty – Almost guilt in first year of engineering as ragging protocol (it was called 1st degree cut):P
Had a boxing membership? Innocent. I am an ardent follower of Gandhi when it come to violence even in sports....:)
Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty. This is the reason I still do not have a GF :(
Been in a band? Innocent. band of fata dhol
Shot a gun? Guilty. on balloons
Donated Blood? Innocent. I strongly feel that as soon as the blood is taken out from me.... I'll need it back ;-)
Eaten alligator meat? Innocent. Compltely non-veggy turned veggy
Eaten cheesecake? Innocent. What is this?
Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. Hmmmm..... Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....Aaaaaaaaa..uhuhuhu....oooooppppssss..!!!
Have/had a tattoo? Innocent. For me tattoo is taboo :P
Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty. This question is making me little emotional...Blush..blush blush...
Been too honest? Guilty. Can't help it...God is watching
Ruined a surprise? Innocent do not remember ever doing this
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty. many times
Erased someone in your friends list? Innocent. not exactly.. but didnot respond to his friend request
Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent. there are many eager bodies to do that... then why take the pain!
Joined a pageant? Innocent. Nope...but there is hope :)
Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty. Unfortunately by married girls while the single ones standing by their side and staring at me blankly.... pathetic :(
Had communication with your ex? Innocent. I do not assume x, y,z (as done in algebra)... I believe in SOLID FIGURES..hehehehehehhahahahahahahhohohohoho ;-)
Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Guilty. Drank 10 cups of coffee before my electrical machines exams in 3rd semester of engineering and didn't sleep whole night... the next day in examination hall the experience was similar to being drunk. ;-)
Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty. As a child many times.

Now its tagging time again....

Honoring

Life is a Search

noreply@blogger.com (Satya Kam) — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 09:31:00 +0000

From past few days a thought is lingering in mind day and night: life is a search. Taking forward I already wrote few lines in my English (Life) and Hindi (जिंदगी) poetry blogs but the incompleteness is quite evident. Is this because the search is still on? Yes.

Life is a never ending search for an end. How, when, where are questions which each one has to find for oneself. There is no one right answer. Neither there is one right path.

We all carry our own pasts with us. We ourselves have to unburden. Life is an iterative process of unlearning and learning.

In one glance everything I have said above looks disjoint. But it is not so.

We have a question and we start searching for the answer. By the time we find the answer the question loses its significance. The answer in itself becomes a question and the search starts all over again till the life ends on this physical plane. If life is considered to be a form of energy then end of life in one plane is a beginning in another plane. May be the search which was incomplete in previous plane starts afresh in next plane.

A never ending search!