Let The Life Flow

Designing Your Personal ‘Mindfullness’ space

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Sun, 7 Mar 2021 18:05:00 +0530

We all are spiritual beings in physical realm, whether we are conscious about it or not. We all seek deeper meaning in our lives. And each of us has our own highly personal way of connecting to other beings. The way we connect and relate differently to other beings, we also connect and relate to our spaces and environment in very personalized way. And each of us needs a personal space of our own to relax, unwind, calm our senses and connect with our higher self.

Photo Credit: Jason Wang, Unsplash

Whether we create it consciously or not, we tend to veer into these spaces as our energy gets aligned with these spaces. That is why you will see that in a house each member of a family has a favorite place/corner of their own. The energy alignment may have come from both the inner energy structure of the person commensurate with the outer energy structure of the space which may come from individual component or an amalgamation of components like direction, forms, colour, texture, light, temperature and chakra of that space etc.

Thus creating a beautiful, calming physical personal space within our home interior or exterior can help us to connect with our higher selves and enter a profoundly relaxed yet alert state of mind.

Such spaces as mentioned earlier can be indoors or out in a balcony garden or proper garden as per space availability. This can be entire rooms, parts of rooms or just corners of rooms. This space can be used for your any activity that uplifts your spiritually and links to your undiluted creative state.

1. What would you like to call this space?

2. What activities you would like to do in this space?

3. Would you ideally want it indoor or outdoor?

4. What are the things you would like to keep in this space which will be inspiring to you?

HEALTHY LIFE STYLE CHALLENGE DAY 22

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Mon, 14 Dec 2020 10:56:00 +0530

I am into Day 22. What am I doing is simple; eating healthy and doing regular exercises. The important point is I am able to do it consistently for 22 days now. The question is .. HOW?

All thanks to the challenge thrown by Health First Everything Next.

I do not eat meat. So for my protein intake I need to supplement my food with ltos of seeds and nuts. But I did not know how to incorporate that and keep it going regularly. Now I have a structure.

Here is one of my Plate of Fruits, Nuts and Seeds.

Fruits, Nuts & Seeds

HEALTHY LIFE STYLE CHALLENGE DAY 21

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Sun, 13 Dec 2020 10:14:00 +0530

The common saying is that if you adopt a new habit for 21 days it becomes permanent. So I adopted it silently for 21 days. Now that the 21st day is over I can tell the world and rejoice in my achievement. I have taken the Healthy Life Style Challenge for 90 days!! So 69 more days to cover.

Let me see how it goes. This is not only about physical health, the determination to hold on also is about mental health.

I have resolved to do daily posting about my experience till the challenge is over. :)

I will give snippets about my food plates and other daily practices that makes this challenge interesting. So let the journey begin.

Any Time Salad

Be Aligned with High Vibration

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Sun, 8 Nov 2020 13:43:00 +0530

I have listened and read many stories about Buddha and his life in my childhood. One of them was about a time when his brother Debadutta wanted Buddha to be killed by a mad/drunken elephant. So the drunken elephant was let loose and it came charging towards Buddha ferociously. But Buddha stood his ground calmly. The elephant came rushing, however as he came near Buddha he suddenly became calm and relaxed and went down on his knees bowing down to Buddha. Buddha just touched his forehead and blessed the animal.

Another time he was given a hut for night halt where there was a poisonous snake inside. But Buddha went and stayed there. He addressed the snake as his friend and requested him to go out into the jungle as the place was not safe for him. He told the snake that humans are afraid of him and hence they will kill him. The snake bowed to Buddha and went out of the hut to the jungle.

I was fascinated by these stories and the power of Buddha to control the mind of others. Well, that is what I thought at that time. And I was curious to know how he wielded such power. And I picked up over the time that his power came from his immense Tapasaya or meditation. I became interested in learning meditation. May be secretly I also wanted to wield the power to get people obey me.

Much later in my adulthood I got chance to learn Vipassana meditation, the form of meditation Buddha was practicing and teaching in his time. When I did my first course and saw the transformation in my own mental pattern and physical habit, I understood how it raises our own vibration and allows us to let go of our low vibratory thoughts and feelings.

Over the time I have come to understand the essence of those stories about Buddha. To me what people were witnessing in Buddha’s presence was not what Buddha was doing. What people were seeing was what Buddha was being or rather what Buddha was. Any Buddha would vibrate at the expression of his highest self; his creator self and that cannot be anything else but unconditional love which is aligned with entire existence and non existence. So any being that would come into his personal zone would automatically vibrate with that energy. So when the mad elephant came into Buddha’s energy circle or aura he automatically was aligned with its own highest self and so vibrated with love and gratitude for that experience of high vibration resulted from Buddha’s energy.

That is why spiritual masters speak of Satsang. And the success gurus would speak of Mastermind group. When we remain in the company of high vibration people, our vibration also gets aligned to theirs and over the time we adjust and vibrate in that high vibration. And what we become inside, the world mirrors that back to us. The energy we emit, that is what people around us return. So love begets love and success begets more of it.

Interior Vibe: The Psychology of Interiors

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Wed, 9 Sep 2020 13:35:00 +0530

With most of our lives spent indoors, the space we occupy has major role in our psychological behavior and well being. I stumbled upon this fact through my years of meditation and healing journey. Any blocked memory that I have come across and healed, not only had emotional charge attached to events or persons but also elements and spatial dimensions. So when I started learning and practicing Interior Design, I tried to understand more as to how we are interacting and getting influenced by our built environment. And from the perspective of a practitioner of meditation and healing, I was curious to understand if our raised vibration has the potential to transform the energy of any built environment.

My curiosity to learn more on this lead me to a subject called Architectural Psychology or more popular term Environmental Psychology. This branch of psychology looks into the interaction of people and the spaces they inhabit; both built and natural. It is the study of human relations and behaviors within the context of the built and natural environments. Within the built environment that is the interior of any building lighting, colors, configuration, scale, proportions, acoustics and materials address the senses of individual and generate a spectrum of feelings.

Photo Credit: David Libeert

From inducing warmth and safety, defining well being or creating a positive and efficient working environment, space impacts us whole lot on how we act or what we feel. I therefore feel that interior design and aesthetics would serve the client better if it is according to the social and psychological needs of the occupants.

The interior of any built environment becomes an integral part of people’s psychology as it directly impacts on our subconscious by contributing to our emotions and perceptions through that part of our brain that reacts to the geometry of the space we occupy. Though it is not the only factor, interior space has big implication on our psychological well being or lack of it. While some spaces add up to your anxiety, others provoke a sense of serenity and you cannot seem to know why. The influences of our environment we may not be able to see or touch, yet they directly influence on our behavior or mood.

While designing an interior, aspects of safety, social connect, ease of movement and sensory stimulation comes into consideration. More concrete measures encompass ventilation, light, drainage, color, texture and objects. The judicious use of design principles of balance, proportion, symmetry and rhythm can introduce a sense of harmony.

Colors make a huge difference to the energy balance of any interior. It plays huge impact in lending a space an altered volume: warmer the color, the more compact the space becomes. They can also evoke feelings of comfort or stimulate communication. Similarly light depends greatly on function. A dim light suggests a gloomy space while a bright light defines a bigger animated appearance. Natural light stimulates production and recovery.

Taken into account in the design process, environmental psychology may lead to built environments that is conducive to better productivity in commercial projects, bigger sales in retail ventures and accelerated recovery in health care developments. As translation of this subject into universally applicable specific design recommendations is yet to be common place, so it highly depends on designer’s sensitivity, creativity and understanding of the research in this area.

As I am learning along, I am trying to put into practice and transfer my learning to others.

Minutes of a meeting through the lens of My Impression

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Sat, 1 Aug 2020 22:48:00 +0530

Today is a different day than my recent time normal day. Today in a Google meet I got chance to connect with former colleagues with whom I worked while posted in Bhubaneswar Regional Office of Action Aid.

For me it was first of its kind, as I had not yet participated in a digital video meeting like this. I have attended digital classes and seminars in recent months where you see the presenter in the screen and your participation is through the chat. But seeing all participants in the small windows together with your own image and talking to them was a first for me. I liked the experience. It was profound for me in the sense that as I saw them, each one in a box disjointed from other boxes, yet all together in a larger frame; similarly for each of them I have a separate box in my memory though all are part of my experience in that single frame – that office.

I realized we might have interacted with people in a group, but we form our memory distinct and separate for each of them. Just because you were in a group does not mean you have equal memory space or equal emotional depth for all of them. You have discerned them, formed impression of them, attached various emotions with them and created a loop of memory for each of them. It can be happy, sad or some other variation in these two poles.

Like a physical meeting of yester years we came into the space, at times kept quiet, waited for our turns, spoke when we were to speak, laughed, sometimes broke into the space out of turn for some contextual repartee, went out of the space for some other work and came back in. Only difference was back then we used to meet for either some planning or some reviews and there used to be a taut energy around us, like a strung bow. There used to be pressure holding our vantage points, arguments, questions, deadlines, responsibility of deliverance, expectation of rewards and disappointment of not being able to get forth the acceptance of own ideas. The energy of this meeting was on the other end of the emotional scale; relaxed, calm and disarmed.

We reminisced ‘those’ times, narrated our journey till date since our departure because that was the agenda:catching up. Each one has changed course like a meandering river yet held on to the values learnt at the source. After so many years the sign of age was visible in each face, receding and gray hair, not so firm facial muscles, mellowed demeanor and a softer look in the eyes with calm of years of experience. The race of being somewhere has been almost achieved and hence all those events evoking tremendous hurt, anger and emotional turbulence then could evoke unadulterated and equivocal laughter now. Each one remembered some or other ‘then difficult/unpleasant’ experience and linked how that incidence has given them some learning and reason to laugh now.

Life has flown and washed away much bitterness. There was desire and discussion of possibilities of physical meeting, coming together again and contributing someway to the society as a group. Dreams never die, lest we are all dead. Hope the body that houses the dreamer also remains healthy, the mind that shapes dreams remains alert and the spirit that germinates the dream soars high.

The Global Pandemic and Us: Some Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Mon, 27 Jul 2020 09:53:00 +0530

During this period of corona pandemic when there is neither medicine nor vaccine for the disease, there is lot of emphasis on our own immune system. The better is our immunity system, the better our chances of defeating the virus.

Ayurveda prescribes many natural ingredients and processes to help boost our immune system. We have received many of those in our inboxes. But how many actually do that, take effort to do that? Naturally many though know would not take that effort because it is too cumbersome or may be despite knowing we do not believe fully that it has that magical benefit. So though the knowledge is there, the drive to take action will be absent.

Similarly our ancient knowledge of Yoga and Pranayam suggests breath work and asanas increase vitality and strengthen immune system. The knowledge helps us only when we take those actions and actions will be taken by those who believe in those methods and have a drive to take action.

When we know something beneficial for us, but we do not take action on that is revealing to us that within us there is misalignment regarding this information. A part of our mind knows, but a part of us is in conflict with this information. Any conflict is indicative of fear and desire to escape. So a part of us is fearful of the process or result and trying to resist. And without unraveling that fear and addressing that, however hard we try to act on that information we find roadblock after some progress and a pattern ensues. We move two steps forward and then we stop taking action. Then again we start and then pause.

So we may think we believe X, but the belief may lie in some other layer of mind as Y which may be in direct contrast of the thinking that we believe X. This is where again our ancient knowledge has given us a path called Meditation.

Meditation helps us to explore our own body and mind and the conjunction of the two. It helps us to reach those layers of mind where we are hiding many thoughts/beliefs which we may negate in our conscious. But like a hidden programme in a computer it is there and affecting us. So our new endeavor turns out to be a struggle instead of a smooth journey and we become an apparent looser stuck in a particular point.

And to me the Pandemic is actually pushing us to stop and align our various layers. It has forced us to stay in as much and stay with self. It has forced us to curtail our flow outside, flow towards others. When we voluntarily go for #meditation or self healing or understanding self, the first precondition is that. We pull ourselves in; we cut contact with outside and get into the process of being with our own selves. The Pandemic has forced entire human race to do that. It has forced us to stop and see and change the pattern we were in. May be we all were in a pattern thinking X, however collectively we were ready to face our belief Y.

Like an intoxicated person who if forced to let go of the substance of intoxication goes through withdrawal symptoms, we are going through that unrest due to this forced isolation from what we had taken as our normal life style. Fear of unknown has brought unrest, churning and depression in many.

But maybe that is the process through which we are moving to a new normal. Like an individual recovering from any substance intoxication faces the withdrawal symptoms and embraces the new recovered self, we also have been forced by nature to move towards a new changed scenario, a new normal. May be it is a message to adopt all those ancient prescriptions which a layer of our mind was yearning to practice but collectively we had shut down in our particular patterned existence. May be we needed a collective detox like this.

As we have been forced in, the earth is #healing itself, purifying the toxicity our normal has inflicted on it. Its preparing itself as new, clean, more habitable entity with pure air, pure water, less jumbled up and crisscrossed energy. May be it is our turn to be conscious of our role in this process. Let us be aware of our withdrawal symptoms and embrace the methods that will make us more aligned and lead us to a new peaceful vibration.

Let us embrace whatever we are doing to detox us with trust and shed the half doubt, half-heartedness and self consciousness. Nobody is watching us and laughing at us. And if anybody is doing, then let us understand the conflict in us through them.

Let us acknowledge our fear, anxiety and helplessness within. Let us face the turmoil within and without with awareness.

Let the New Normal Be.

Thoughts on World Interiors Day

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Tue, 26 May 2020 22:29:00 +0530

On 24^th May 2020, I received an article in my inbox about World Interiors Day. I was not aware of such a day prior to this. Searching more information, I found about the International Federation of Interior Architects/Designers and their celebration of entire month of May and specific date 23 May as World Interiors Day. Since 2012, when I decided to understand and learn about Interiors more and joined a formal course in a college, my understanding on this subject has expanded from what it was earlier. But like any subject matter of human interest, the subject opens up ever new vistas for the traveler to explore and so learning never ends. In celebration of the day I decided to pen down some of my impressions on Interiors and its designing.

To me Interiors are not standalone entity. They always entice you when you decide to explore a structure and go beyond its façade. So when I speak about interiors I may view it from very solid, dense forms of brick, mortar, iron, wood etc. But I also have a choice to sense the subtle and ethereal footsteps of imagination, passion and creativity of human beings who have decided to call themselves as architects and interior designers. For me it is a perfect balance of expression of formless and form.

It may begin its formation from formless to tangible shape in one single human brain, but gradually it gains momentum. And as it moves from subtler to the denser form in its journey, it requires collaboration of several minds and hands thus compelling formation of a team. From imagination it goes to become lines on a drawing board, a collaboration of ideas of users and designers. And then during process of execution it becomes a choreographed dance of ideas & skills, space and forms, technology & materials, passion and logic, organization and management, dust and sweat, functionality & aesthetics. To me the process of interior design requires harmonious use of both right brain and left brain traits of human brain.

Interiors are bound by six sides - four walls, ceiling and floor. But they open up to different expressions depending on the functions to be carried out in that space and personal choices of the users of that space. Many a time users desire interiors to evoke awe in those visiting that space where as other times they want the space to dance to their own rhythms – personal and intimate. I have observed that in whatever the choice, interiors are extensions of your personality. When you are in a complementary space, you flourish and if your space is extremely deviant from your personality it challenges you, transforms you and at times ejects you out. So interiors are much more than mere shelter, they have the potential to lift us emotionally and spiritually.

Interior expressions have evolved and been articulated as per the spatial and temporal transition of civilizations. The elements of nature play a lot of importance in these expressions. It follows fashion trend and yet aspirations for something more permanent and lasting beyond transient trends finds equal weight when interior architects and designers set out to create something new.

If you are reading this piece and come this far, then I am sure you have an interest and view on interiors. And the last several months have made almost everybody in the world to interact with their home interiors almost 24X7. But still you may not have looked at it with awareness. Go, have a look. Speak to the spirit of your home/ workspace Interiors. The awareness of your space also will make you aware of you; your own self. What do you like in your interior and why? And what is that one thing that challenges you in that space? What are the aspects which uplifts your spirit? What are things you would like to bring in within the current constraints; physical and financial both? What are the things you may change if no constraints were there and your resources were unlimited?

The 'lock down' due to Corona Pandemic has thrust on all of us a meditative space that forces each one to re look their perspective on life anew. So why not look at your shelter space from a new perspective?

Have a Good Time.

Lockdown & Food: Wandering Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Sun, 26 Apr 2020 21:48:00 +0530

Ever since we remained confined to home after the declaration of nationwide lock down, it seems the subject of ‘food’ has taken a prominent space in our daily activities and communication. Food definitely is and has been basic to our existence. But never before was it in the forefront of our awareness. We used to see our existential pride in many other activities and skill sets than our culinary skill: except for those in the food industry. But once we became confined to the home, the significance of food took over a vast expanse of our perceptual canvas if not the entirety of that space. That is what it seems to me. Let us see, if my thought on food gives you some more food for thought!

The moment nation wide lock down was declared; probably the first thing we thought of is food. People queued up the grocery stores for food items to stock up before midnight. Government authorities quickly responded to this panic and very next day assured people that both durable and perishable items of food will be in regular supply. TV screens were full of information and discussions towards this assurance. But we were not assured in those early days. So the entire first week of lock down our rush to the food stores, vegetable vendors, milk parlors for getting as much stock as we can manage continued and the media remained occupied in complaining of crowding and lack of social distancing in these places.

With all outward movements curtailed and family members at home, kitchen suddenly saw an overdose of energy rush in each and every home. Watching TV and eating something was the pattern of waking hours for a few days in my home. And that is what was reported from friends and relatives. In fact while dealing with the anxiety and fear of this new situation food became the stress buster and enjoyment.

So the culinary skill in every household came to practice with zest and fervor. Each one tried their hand in dishing out as many delectable they could with the available ingredients. And not only these were devoured with alacrity at home, pictures of these items became prime display in the shared spaces. Social media over flowed with pictures of food items prepared at each home. And the eagerness to share this creativity was universal to all levels of society who had the comfort of a home. So we not only got to see the pictures of food items prepared by friends and relatives, but also celebrities. Each one was outdoing other in sharing their stories of food prepared for their loved ones, culinary skill, kitchen management skill.

The social media also saw a great burst in articles and videos of easy to follow step by step recipes for food items from food bloggers. Not only these catered to simple daily cooking items, they also shared the recipes of street foods and restaurant foods.

Food was not only dominant in private/ public discourse: this also became central in public /public domain in the first week itself. Central and State Governments had already declared the various measures of food distribution schemes for the poor with home. But when thousands of migrant laborers took to the street because of sudden lack of income and food, TV and social media was filled up with discussion on various aspects of food and hunger. Urgent situations bring urgent measures. So food and food preparation spilled from private kitchens to mega kitchens in public domain. Cooked food for lakhs of people were prepared and distributed in all States and UTs.

But this solution brought into notice another aspect of our relationship with food. Food is not confined to our homes; it is also part of our social distinction and social identity. Move from one state to other, one geographical region to another and our food preparation and preferences changes. Food is a mark of social distinction. Makki di roti and Sorson da saag brings Punjab into mind where as Dhoklas remind us of Gujrat. Punjabis can have Idli with delight and Tamilians can love Aaloo Parantha for a change of taste. But make that change of taste staple and you will know what withdrawal symptom it can create for our conditioned taste buds.

And lock down indeed showed us this withdrawal symptom in many parts of the country. Reports of some revolts in the public domains of food service came to lime light because of the discrepancy in food being served and food that groups of migrant laborers were habituated with. If problems surface, can solutions be far behind? So solutions like migrants of different states being served the food of their zone was reported in media, particularly from Kerala. Kudos to those who came up and executed the solution successfully.

Before I could move out from this subject food and social distinction, I came across a story on Personal Optimised Diet (POD). Food not only can make groups distinct, food can also make individuals distinct. I mean food can be personalized to make you healthy and fit. The story highlighted Ranveer Singh and Deepika Padukone among many other Hindi film celebrities who are keeping themselves fit while enjoying their own POD.

Home and Home cooked food… became the buzzword for us in this lock down confinement. I do not remember when earlier to this period we had become so acutely aware of its primacy in our life? Almost every body trying to dish out some new dishes, we became conscious that food is not only food, but also a great source of creativity , source of enjoyment, source of pride, satisfaction and happiness. Not only photos of home cooked food and recipes entertained us in media, food cartoons and memes were also galore.

Also came to awareness that there can be an equation between food and gender discourse. Well, my friends working for years on this issue of gender may know the link. But my neighbor was not familiar until she read that Vidya Balan used to think cooking is a symbol domestication and hence by choice kept away from cooking until the lock down. During this period of home confinement even she tried out her hand at cooking and dished out some traditional dish to her own satisfaction.

Earlier to lock down I had not noticed that food also can be in fashion. No? My awareness widened when I saw the numerous social media postings on Dalgonacoffee. People started posting pictures of coffee prepared by them and soon it became a trending news. Not only Food can be in fashion, food items also can create fashion statement. That I learnt from Kareena Kapoor’s 'pasta necklace' designed and made by her adorable son Taimur.

I think this thought on food is becoming lengthy. But how can I end my thoughts without mentioning about the doctors and nurses and hospital staff who are unable to go to their homes to safeguard their families from the highly contagious disease. Bereft of home cooked food many are dependent on food parcels. This I learnt from the news stories on pizza delivery boys after one amongst them was found positive. Hope we will find some solution to this highly contagious disease sooner than later and these doctors, nurses and other hospital staff can go back to their home and enjoy a home cooked meal.

Last but not the least or rather the show stopper thought on food. Is it because of lock down food is trending or because of food lock down is in trend? Many opine that the origin of this entire new experience all over the world is China’s Wet Market ...

Some food for thought …?

Buildings and Beauty: A Lay Person's Perception of Architectural Harmony

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Fri, 2 Aug 2019 18:34:00 +0530

The following post was written by me in 2008 after my first visit and stay in London as part of my travel diary. But it had remained as draft for so many years. After so many years reading my own post I find it interesting and think I can share it with others. :)

Buildings & Beauty: London Buildings through my Perception

Clarendon Drive in Putney, London (where my London colleagues had organised my home away home) seemed to be a posh locality. Beautiful houses stood in neat rows, on both sides of the almost empty roads. After reaching there suddenly I realised why the ‘videshis’ and our very ‘phoren returned’ talk about dirt and filth in India. The roads were absolutely clean, stretching from end to end between two houses on both sides. One does not get to see any cracked road, ‘broken at the edge’ road or ‘with pot holes’ road.

The mostly brick colour houses at the first glance look perfectly uniform; creating a synchronised rhythm of visuals. But two days after my stay, a visit to central London and exposure to lot more beautiful structures, a closer look at each building revealed to me that almost all houses were different in their design. But the designs are so ‘in sync’ with the others in material, colour, design and size that they create an illusion of uniformity though they are quite diverse in forms and designs.

It was amazing, not able to find a discordant note among buildings in any residential area or any market place. While driving down to Clarendon Drive, Putney from Twickenham my friend Ravi informed about the town planning department of London. If anybody wants to build or renovate a house in any locality, then you need to get permission from the department. The department not only scrutinizes the plan, but also checks the design according to the approved plan of that locality and prescribes the material, colour, built and height of the house. And you can not deviate from that.

Is there any penalty involved for violation? I really do not know. But the Londoners I found are quite proud of the beautiful and harmonized look of their city and fiercely guard against spoiling that look. The big and high rise building are not quite appreciated and Caroline, my host in fact commented that they look ugly.

Being the spouse of a person who is in the filed of architecture, I over the period have developed an eye for buildings and London was a treat to my eyes. I am sure those who are from that very field must be finding it even more delightful. It’s fascinating to see very well maintained old buildings standing elegant and absolutely at ease with the new ones. And in fact the new ones in some localities could be around 60 to 70 years old!

To understand this beauty of London, it’s enough to step out of it and go to a nearby place. My observation comes from the visit to Birmingham and Brighton. The harmony of buildings so obvious in London was absent. And any city in my country will be able to provide a contrast to this, but to me the classic contrast is Kolkata – the city of joy!

Post script: In 2012 I decided to explore my latent talent for making home interiors more aesthetic and joined a professional course of Interior Design and then on have joined my husband's firm as an Interior Designer. Life always gives signs for what to come......:)

Hate Is A Personal Journey

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Mon, 30 Jul 2018 09:44:00 +0530

My parents are ardent supporters of a political party whose ideology is different from what I and my siblings stand for. So at times a discussion on political scenario in the family gatherings generates heated exchanges. During one such discussion my mother declared that she hates Muslims. It gave me a punch for thought. I stopped for a moment and then asked my 72 year old mother, “Have you been harmed by any Muslim in your life Ma?”

And it was her turn for a pause. She finally said, “No”.

But her antipathy towards Muslims decides her political perception and may be some other life aspects.

And ‘a realization’ knocked me like a bolt. She has not been harmed nor done any good to her by any Muslim. She in fact has interacted with only one Muslim family in her entire life. And I know that interaction was always cordial till it lasted. They were neighbor to her brother’s family. When her brother’s family shifted out to some other place this interaction ceased. Where from her hate stems then? Her hate has nothing to do with Physical Muslims; it has everything to do with mental construct about Muslims, which might be tormenting her in her perception some ways. Her journey of hate has no correlation with her personal physical experience. Similarly I have no personal experience of harm from any party worker of the political party I oppose, which had led to those heated exchanges between me and my parents.

This led me to take this question into introspection and meditation. Why I feel good or bad for any OTHER may not have anything to do with the OTHER, it is always about I, ME and MY.

I meditated through my life and found there was time I was a Muslim Hater. When I was in school and after a lost cricket match when I used to hear from somebody that Muslims in Nalla Road were celebrating the victory of Pakistan, my sense of loss due to defeat of the cricket team used to turn into rage against the Muslims. With my eyes closed and attention on my entire body, I could witness the entire scene in my mind and watch the energy flow in my body. The rush of energy into solar plexus and constriction at the chest and huge energy rush to the top of my head, all came up to my conscious from deep labyrinths of my memory and re-experiencing the entire process of energy flow of emotions from defeat to rage and keeping the body calm was a real task. At some moment I lost equanimity and to let out that energy I had to shout at the top of my voice. I did that and watched that. Over an hour of meditation the energy and emotions drained out of my system and the memory did not have that charge.

I looked back and found for my journey of hate there was actually no OTHER. I and I only in my mind and body felt all those emotions then through MY PERCEPTIONS of OTHER sitting in my drawing room alone. No PHYSICAL OTHER came to take me through that journey PHYSICALLY. IT was ME who CREATED that journey for me and went through it. But I attributed my victim hood to Cricket team and Muslims.

Many more sittings of meditation and I discovered many more layers of victim-hood where the OTHER in my identification is the word Muslim: The 9/11, the ISIS, the Mumbai terror attack, the Kashmiri Pundit exodus. The more I looked inwards I found a pattern in my journey. Each journey of hate and rage has been taken by me sitting in somewhere safe and comfortable. Nothing personal or physical has happened to me from the OTHER. But each time the harm to me was intensely personal and acutely physical because I perceived ‘an I’ and identified with ‘an I’ against ‘an OTHER’. Each sitting of meditation was extremely taxing in terms of physical discomfort and it was fascinating to see the rush of energy in the body before it gradually waned like an external storm, which builds of gradually, reaches a devastating peak and then wanes to give way to a sense of calm.

But this diving into the journey of hate took me beyond the word Muslim. It took me to the words Perpetrator and perpetrated and the generic pattern of I as perpetrated and OTHER as perpetrator. The other and perpetrators have been taking different words, in fact almost unlimited range of words…parents, teachers, classmates, siblings, neighbors from childhood to boss, coworkers, in-laws, clients, men in adulthood just to give a sample. The list is actually too large and too dynamic to put in a static, all encompassing list.

The OTHER is enormous and amorphous also. And point to point my identification of I comes from this OTHER only. At one point I am I with one OTHER and later another layer brings my identification with another OTHER. So in this journey the OTHER is not static because my identification is dynamic.

But the process is repetitiously static. The journey begins with my identification with an erstwhile OTHER as I and taking an emotion of perpetrated against some OTHER and then the sense of loss, the sense of existential fear, the emotion of hatred and rage, then the sense of strong energy depression bringing dysfunction to the physical system, more energy constriction and energy burst from solar plexus to heart to crown.

Have I been liberated? J

Sadly… no. As I said, my stock of ‘I’ identification to be perpetrated is vast so my hate journey also comes to surface in different forms. But then through this meditation journey I also get to see my ‘I’ identification to be with the emotion of perpetrator also and the euphoria of self righteousness and blood rush. ..

But this awareness blunts out some of the high tide in me and brings calm and balance much swifter than earlier.

My Experience of Reality : Objective to Subjective

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Wed, 11 Jul 2018 19:06:00 +0530

Recently I went for a get together of my high school batch mates. Never had thought a possibility of that exists and when it suddenly came to my conscious it was definitely a surprise. But joining and experiencing the high energy of that congregation was a pleasant surprise.

I could not recognize most of the male batch mates at the first sight. But it was not awkward as the non recognition of the other was mutual in most cases. And that made the reintroduction process a fun game of guessing and failing and re-guessing and at times failing and at times shouting out their names with sheer pleasure of recollection of their names. What was surprising however to me was towards the end of the day when I looked those faces I felt there was not much change in their facial contours from the memory I had of them. Amazing! My mind had mapped out the new faces with the old ones stored in my subconscious and all the changes that seemed discords had been overlooked…! The impact of more than three decades of time was simply put aside and they looked almost same as they were in my perception. End of the day in my mind I thought they have not changed so much.. Why was I not able to recognize them in the beginning??

That fascinating experience gave me the understanding that how quickly our minds filter out what we want to perceive and what not. So what we want to look is what we see, what we want to listen is what we get to hear and so on. So the entire external existence to me if is the 'objective reality' what I experience of that is my 'subjective reality'. By my intention I flow into the life which is a slice of the vast possibilities that is there to access. Reminds you of Rhonda Byrne’s book and film on Law of Attraction -'The Secret'?

Thus my ‘real world’ is actually the fragment of the world which I am able to map with my mind. It is actually ‘My World’ – never same as anybody else’s world.

I remembered what I had recently read about the debate of subjective reality versus objective reality by Dr Deepak Chopra. For me it was an intriguing reading. In fact there are so many write ups on the subject if you choose to google search. A simpler reading was a blog on the subject by Christie Marie Sheldon.

At this moment I am happy on my experiential realization of the concept. All those reading can be done later. Of course you are free to choose your own experience.

Let me flow with mine and you with yours.. J

Where is I?

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Tue, 7 Oct 2014 19:44:00 +0530

Since childhood I was curious about existence. Who am I?

I remember as a child, probably when I was 9/10 year old I used to ask other friends, “Who are you? “The friends used to say “I am X, Y or Z”. My second question used to be “where are you?” The friends’ usual answer was “I am here.” I used to ask “how do you know you are here?” Either amused or irritated the friends’ reply used to be “Cann’t you see? Here I am” pointing a finger at some part of their body, usually chest. My counter used to be “That is your chest. Where are you?” If the friend used to show me any other part my question used to be again “You are showing your --- body part. Where are you? It used to end in a irritated response from my friends like “Ok, ok do not try to be smart” or “ Ok, we know you ask smart questions” and so on.

Invariably there was no answer. I did not have an answer nor them. I used to ask this question to myself. This is my hand; this is my leg, my face and so on. Everything about my body is MY. Where is that I. Who says “I am Vijaya.”

When I grew a little older my question’s periphery expanded to my mind, my thoughts, my intellect, my personality and so on. But all still ‘MY’. Where is that I?

Then I came to know about death, When something leaves the body a person becomes a dead body. That is that I, the soul. I read; You are a soul inhabiting this body. Once the soul leaves, your body becomes dead body. My knowledge sphere expanded but my question remained. When MY soul leaves MY body, My body will become dead body.

When somebody dies, they do not speak, do not think, do not move, do not show emotion, do not recognize. Does that mean my mind is my soul? But still it is MY. When I say ‘My soul ‘where is that I?

After so many years also I am not sure what the answer is. Where is I. Who am I? Who says “I am Vijaya.”

Do you know?.......

Simply Being with the flow..

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Fri, 6 Dec 2013 13:14:00 +0530

A week back while cleaning my bookself I opened an old 'intention book' of mine. I had not looked into it for some years now and almost forgotten what was in it. Flipping through I found many of my intentions have come true over the time! :) Some intentions I found showed some of the confusions I had faced then. Some intentions looked irrelevant now.

If I look back, this intention book was a resultant action after I first read the book The Secret and learnt about the Vision Board of John Assaraf. I had read about how to his surprise he found that he owned and was living in the house which he had put to his vision board some time back. After that I had read many more write ups and books on the subject and out of curiosity had devised my own version of putting intentions on record - An Intention Book.

One of the intention in my book was to design my house by a famous Interior Designer. At that point of time that was something way out of my reach and an ultimate luxury. And to be honest neither I believed in my intention nor did I know what I meant by a 'famous Interior Designer'. It simply was a far fetched longing.

Now its been six years since I wrote that sentence and yes I had completely forgotten about the sentence and the notebook. In the movie they said that it has to be an intense desire with a lot of feeling or at least regular revisiting of the intention for its fulfillment. Which in my case was nowhere there. So, neither I hired any famous Interior Designer nor my house have the idea and service of a professional Interior Designer. Like simple arithmatic formula - no conscious energy put into the desire, the desire remains only a desire.

However life probably is not simple arithmatic. Mind is simply not the one which I exercise when I am wakeful and conscious. Experiences in life and their synchronicity is much more than what I could or can comprehend. At least that is what my lesson at this moment.

Two years back in a casual conversation my architect husband asked what is my opinion about me doing a course in interior designing. His logic was that I can help him out and also it will give us a chance to spend more time with each other. I gave it a thought, took the plunge and now not only am qualified and certified but also have accomplished 3 assignments, working on four assignments and some more are in pipeline.

Life certainly is not linear. Simply being with its flow opens up amazing experiences. Can you look back in your own life and relate some such flowing experience?

Let the life flow...

Pause and Moving on

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Mon, 12 Aug 2013 21:42:00 +0530

Almost a year and I had not even visited my page. Its like a pause. No movement here. Nothing changes in this limited space. But was it really a pause? When I stop in one point, that does not stop everything. That only showed to me that my movement has changed direction. But life moves all the moment, all along.

I was engrossed learning the nuances of designing interiors and it was fascinating. In fact now I understand there is nothing in this life; which when I take interest and get into is not fascinating. So many possibilities life holds in one moment. And when I put my choice on one, it opens up again numerous possibilities and it is a continuous game. Only I need to have the intention of playing.

I was not writting - pause. I was sketching so many lines and curves to get so many different forms and shapes on paper. Hours and hours moved on. My mind was not thinking of words- pause. In stead it was visualising spaces made beautiful with different forms and colours - moving on from one to another option.

This gives me a question. Is there a final pause anywhere? Is that absolute? May be. Suppose I would not have come back to this page. Probably the final pause for this page. But I would have moved on. Does that mean even when there is a pause to one form of life - moving on is certainty? It seems so.

And this is so assuring. In many instances I have taken a pause as failure, the end of my worth, my self esteem. And all fear springs from this perspective. But this perspective that a pause is actually moving on does not leave any space for failure or fear.

I am happy with this game of life - pause and moving on.

Simple things of joy in life..

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 19:29:00 +0530

I was feeling down and low. Recovering from a viral fever. As it happens with me often, something in me inspired to pull out my copy of Deepak Chopra's book 'Ageless Body Timeless Mind' and flip through randomly. It was about being with nature. Deepak talked about the value of being with nature, even if for a short while in the day. He talked about if got opportunity to lie down on grass stretching out the body and soak up some sun.

My body was aching severely, head was reeling and my mood was in depression. But a thought raced through my head like a lightning. I have developed and nurturing the small lawn in front of my house for last two years, but have never ever thought of lying down on the grass! Leave alone lying on it, I have not even sat on the bare grass on my lawn! I have this lovely little patch of green and the thought had never come! I tried to remember when was the last when I had stretched myself on green grass anywhere and it was years back!

I gave a glance at the watch. It was 3 PM. A strange current of energy was rushing through my body and I darted out. My lawn was only some steps away from my living room and I touched the grass with my palms. No moisture, no chance of my dress getting soiled. I cautiously sat on the lawn and then slowly tried to stretch my body over it. It was easy physically, but so tough mentally! I was not ready to let go... Are there some neighbor watching ? What would they think? What will I say to them?

Tentatively however I stretched myself, feeling the pin prick sensation the grass made on my skin. My head was reeling and there was a blood rush through my body. Was it childish or was it like mad? I was breath less. Suddenly I felt scared of being watched and ran into the house and slumped to the divan.

But something again pushed me. I took a towel out of the cup board and again headed towards the lawn. This time I lied on the towel stretched on the grass. Only my hands were on bare grass. after almost five minutes I regained my normal breath and started enjoying being there. I looked up and the sky was blue. Do not remember when I had seen the sky in the day time and seen the blue colour of it. Traces of white cloud was strewn all around. It was beautiful ! Just above my face a little bird was sitting on the electricity cable and twittering. As if to please me it started jumping from one end of the cable to the other and then flew away. I could discern plethora of ether particles of different shapes and size , never seen them so clear! And then I realised so many dragon flys were flying allover and like story book finish a butterfly flew over me. The silence, the beauty, the synchronicity had a strange effect on me and tears started rolling down. I do not know how many minutes I was in that state when I woke up to my self conscious state when my neighbor's daughter called me.

Immidiately the abandon in me was shrunk and I gave an impromptu explanation to her which she had not asked.

This simple experience was an extra ordinary experience for me. May be for many who will read this it is trivial. May be for many it will be as unusual as it was for me. But my learning from my experience is how many times we overlook the simple joys of life for eons till it becomes extraordinary or unusual? My moment of insight was a mixed bag of feeling. I am sure each of you can relate to some moments of simple joy in your life which you might have overlooked for ages till somethings spurs you from inside. I am sure my flipping through Deepak's book was what Deepak says is heeding to the spirit.

My gratitude..............

Life is about Change, Let it Flow

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Thu, 17 May 2012 18:03:00 +0530

Awareness, in itself, is curative - Fritz Pearls

During my 20 days retreat for Vipassana in 2008, I met the teacher Mr Baburam Yadav. During the 19 days of silence I had thought he would be around 60 to 65. On the 20^th day after the metta when we came out of silence, many of us wanted to express our gratitude to both the conducting teachers. That is when I came to know that he was 82. If that piece of information was startling even more fascinating was his journey of letting go.

While listening to a meditator’s physical problem and how that was making it difficult for him to meditate, he was explaining about equanimity and letting go. In that conversation he talked about his own experience of physical difficulty and meditation and healing.

When he was diagnosed that he was at the last stages of cancer and in doctor’s opinion he had a month to live if he does not go through a surgery. And what was his chance of survival post surgery? It seems the doctors were hopeful that he will survive another six months. That is when he despite intense opposition of the family members he decided to go for a Vipassana retreat for 30 days. His own reasoning was if he has to die in any way, why to die on a surgery table in a hospital, why not being aware of the footsteps of death and consciously embracing it.

There opposition all round. Even the fellow teachers of Vipassana also were of advice to take rest. But his will was focussed and he went ahead. He was bleeding profusely from his anus and it was difficult to sit on his sit. So most of the time in his own words he was meditating in the toilet sitting on the wc. One day the bleeding was so much that he thought that to be his last day of this life. He was watching the blood and pondering smilingly over the form of his impending death. But he survived the day. And day by day he survived all the 30 days which the doctors had given as his span of life.

He went back home but refused to go to hospital and surgery. He survived the next six months. And then he said that he survived much beyond. When finally he went for a check up, he had no cancer in his body. “I am now in front of you and that retreat of 30 days was in 1998!”

Each dis-ease is psycho somatic. If there is a thought in the mind it leaves its imprint in the body, both being part of same energy field and so each disease which is physically manifesting has a root at the mind and spirit. If one can equanimously watch the waves of these energy flow in the body and allow the blocked energy packets to unfold and flow, the healing automatically happens.

This deep connection of body and mind and the process consolidated my faith that any disease can be healed by simply watching it. And that is why when a small itchy red patch of inflammation surfaced on my upper chest during my Vipassana retreat of 30 days in 2009, I convinced myself that it will go on its own.

That was my truth then – of the conscious mind. Was my sub conscious aligned?

That is the life. It flows and we learn our lesson when the time comes. What is our truth of today changes tomorrow with a fresh learning and by the time we grasp to that truth it changes again.

Life is a flow, the only constant here is ‘Change’.

Despair to Hope; Meaningless to Magnificent – Life is a Flow

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 22:18:00 +0530

Despair to Hope; Meaningless to Magnificent – Life is a Flow. Just let it flow.

Life is a flow, changing moment to moment. This moment it seems all pleasing and jubilant and the next it is so out of sync with our expectation that coming to terms is the first lesson. The celebration of life is in learning these lessons and let the life flow.

If you have read my previous post then you know my submission to all of us to see the innumerable blessings we have instead of the few blocks which keeps us stagnant. Is that possible when things go completely haywire? Is it possible when you have been thrown out of a job yesterday? Is it possible when you have just seen the relationship you were banking on crumbling down shattering your trust and faith in relationships and love? Is it possible when you are celebrating your success and a life shaking health problem has overtaken your body?

These are moments when life feels very threatening and it is very natural that we develop the first thought - “Why me and why now? “ Life instead of celebration suddenly overwhelms and the dark shadows of depression threaten the very existence we had taken for granted. It certainly is a trying time. But Life is a Celebration even in that and that is what I learnt from my experience. In fact each person learns that. I have read about so many of them in the past months including our very own Cricketer Yuvraj Singh.

From my own journey of going through the experience of a skin disease which is not life threatening but makes one dysfunctional and dejected, I learnt that diseases are dis–ease of not only body, but mind and spirit. Though it is manifested in the body cells, it is a message for our spirit, mind and body. And healing is a process of letting go of the factors that caused the dis-ease from all spheres -body, mind and spirit.

This is the time when I counted my blessings in terms of my family and friends, I counted the blessings of the different healing systems existent in this world, I learnt the deeper connection between the mind and body, the past and present and the fine balance between despair and hope. I learnt to take note of the gift with which I came to celebrate this life – my body. I learnt to love whatever I have today and learnt to accept the present and learnt to look forward with hope.

I intend to share my experience and learning of letting the life flow in this blog. May be it will be helpful for some of you who are negotiating the downside of life and need support as I got supported from the experience of many.

For today I am happy that I am writing again, that I am healing and I am looking forward. Life is a flow and letting it so in itself is a celebration.

Celebrating Life

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:16:00 +0530

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate” – Oprah Winfrey

Hey Friends, Wishing you all a Year of Celebrating Life in 2012! I know it is a little delayed the way rest of the world goes. So what? This is my first posting this year and why not start with wishing you all. By the way this 'Year of Celebrating Life' wish I received from my friend Saroj who is a fan of my approach to celebration. And I thought why not share with others. One of my New Year resolution was to reach out and communicate more often with my friends, clients and readers compared to the previous year. So not only I will make more postings in the blog but also start sharing through my mailing list.

I am keeping my New Year resolution and here I am with you with my thoughts on Celebrating Life. And I completely agree with Oprah. I am a great fan of Oprah. Are you? The way she brings out seemingly hopeless situations in life and shows a perspective for celebration is simply Wow! Don’t you think so?

But here I am not letting my thoughts focus on Oprah. Though I am so thankful that I have access to her wonderful programmes which itself is a matter of celebration. But sincerely, how much time you give yourself to pause and praise your life. I hardly had seen life from this angle, yeah till I made a conscious decision to do so.

See this image. Isn’t it beautiful? And the energy of the sun, it just fills me with a bright happy feeling. In fact this is one of my treasured mood lifter. Whenever I feel down and am in front of my laptop, I open this image and look at it. And it reminds me that each day the Sun rises and sets. Is there something to celebrate in that or is that monotonous?

Thanks to the photographer who could capture this splendid visual for keep and repeat visit. Thanks to his intention of sharing, I had access to this and many others like me. And thanks to internet, my own laptop, my internet connection, my internet service provider, the electricity and the people who help in the supply of that for me to access.............:) the list will be very very long if you care. But we forget to care.

The other day during my morning walk at one point of the road the clear morning air I was inhaling got filled with some foul smell and I immediately took note of it. And felt irritated and started playing my blame game – "oh, the city air is not clean and fresh even in the morning! What can be the cause of this?... " and you know how moves the thought pattern. Way later, on a reflective moment, I wondered how conditioned my mind is in its blame game. In a stretch of two and half kilometer of my morning walk I inhaled through countless breaths the fresh morning air but I discounted that and forgot to celebrate that. However I moaned those few breaths of encountering the foul smell!

We simply forget to count our innumerable blessings and prefer to get stuck with the few things which feels inconvenient. What do you think? Would you like to praise life more than you have been till now?

Jump in the river...and live your life!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 19:48:00 +0530

When Anja contacted me for coaching she only wanted to understand herself as to why she can not feel motivated to take steps for being healthy despite the conscious resolve. We embarked on the coaching journey from there. And before we realised we had delved into her deeper belief system and the blocks there. Wow, what tranformation!!! We both are witness to the transformation coaching can induce in a person.
I am happy to present Anja's story in her own words. If you are trying hard to lose weight but somehow things are not working, then I highly recommend you try out her coaching programme which is completely based and designed on her own success formula.

wish you happy reading and getting inspired
~vijaya~

Jump in the River... and Live Your Life!

I close my eyes and I am feeling the keyboard underneath my fingers. I am sitting on our balcony hearing birds and crickets chirping in the surrounding lush forest. I open my eyes again and the sky wears this wonderful blue dress today with a puffy white border in the distance...there where the horizon mixes with the National Park Yanmingshan.

I feel content and I feel harmony flowing through my body. All is good.
...I am tempted to say - all is in peace. But this moment isn't a reminder of death...quite the contrary!

A white, shiny plane passes by - way up high in the sky and I feel it is moving forward - having action in its doing. Yes, that's how I feel too. Filled with action. Positive action.

That was not always the case - before I embarked on the journey of coaching and before I met my first coach Vijaya, I had quite a few heavy stones that I carried around in my luggage. Stones that were added to my life, through the unexpected death of very close people in my life. Or through a family illness and a general dislike of my body... It is tough to move forward with these burden on your shoulders.

Vijaya helped me to dismantle those stones. If I would need to draw a visual I would say in our Coaching session she gave me a hammer and we destroyed theses stones and made them to very fine gravel. In principle they are still there - as they are experiences that have been carved into my life - but I feel not obliged to carry the entire stone with me. In fact I will only carry a little gravel stone with me on my way forward - a tiny stone that helps me to remember.

The other stones I have decided to throw into the river of life.

Let me quickly tell you a real story - so that you can understand what I mean with 'River of life'.

It was Summer 2008. The weather was hot and I was sitting in the English Garden in Munich, Germany - starring at the little river in front of me. All of sudden my eyes catches the attention of a group of friends who decided to float, swim and drift in the river. At certain parts of the river the flow was quite strong - so although they were in the same river, they had various speed of moving forward.
I love water and I would have loved to join in ...but I was like paralyzed. Less than 12 months ago our first daughter passed away and I was not ready to join back into life fully. At times I tried - for example I had to go back to work - but it felt more like I was putting my big toe into the water. I was not ready to join life yet. I was like a bystander - watching life go by.

If you sometimes feel the same - and I am assured: we ALL do at times! Try to get yourself out of this! Either jump by yourself into the river...or if you have second doubts - get the help of somebody else! A coach is a good start. I my case I am sincerely happy that I've met Vijaya.

The watching-life-go-by mode has changed into hands-on activities like:
- I will run my first 10k run in 3 months
- I will publish my first eBook on 'How to have a healthy life with Chocolate' before year-end.

- In the preparation of all this I am transforming myself and I feel soo good about it
- Have tons of ideas on my work-life-balance-career in the years to come....

So what are you waiting for? Jump in the river... live your life and let the Life Flow...

Anja Serfontein

Grey Raincoat with Collars and Pockets

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 13:36:00 +0530

Grey raincoat with collars and pockets is not something to be ashamed of.

But this statement did not make any sense to me then – way back when I was a child of six years. That was my first year of going to school, probably first month. Everything was new experience for me. Back then in my town rare parents were coming to the school to drop their children and take them back home. Children generally used to walk to and from the school. My father had taken me to the school on the first day, dropped me at the school gate and I went in with the usual apprehension and fear a child would have in a new and unfamiliar environment.

But I did find my class room and thus began my new journey. I being the eldest child was the first entrant to my school from my nuclear family unlike some of my friends in the neighbourhood who had elder siblings to give them company and help them in the school to be familiar and feel comforted. in the new environment. Added to this being an introvert in nature I was alone and friendless inside the class for quite some time.

Month of July is part of rainy season in India. Within a fortnight or so of my joining the school it started raining and for me to to cope with that my father bought a raincoat for me. This was for the first time I ever had been exposed to such an attire. It was a below knee length grain raincoat with collar and four pockets. My father helped me to learn how to wear it and I was happy next day carrying it in my school bag.

And that was the day when it rained and when the school was over it was still raining. I was happy that I can wear my new raincoat and go back home. But I saw most of the students around me had umbrellas and very few had raincoats to wear. Even friends from my neighborhood and their elder siblings did not have raincoats.

I wore my raincoat and started walking the steps down from the school veranda to the open field towards the school gate. I had walked around 6 to 10 steps and then found myself surrounded by a group of boys,
non from my class who started jeering me for wearing a grey raincoat with collars and pockets despite being a girl. I learnt for the first time in my life from them that girls wear pink raincoats with no collars and no pockets.

I was surrounded by them and they were not letting me move forward, they were jeering me and the other children including my friends had moved away towards the gate. The crowded ground was gradually becoming empty. I was shocked with the sudden happening, paralysed with fear and felt numb and unable to run away and felt overwhelmed by shame for wearing a grey raincoat with collars and pockets freshly informed and laughed at that it was meant for boys and deeply anguished as to how my father bought that for me and gave me to wear.

If I remember correctly and objectively now it probably would have lasted for five minutes or so. But it was an inordinately long time of torment for me then. I was rescued from that situation by a departing teacher who noticed it, came there, scolded the boys, dispersed them and guided me to the school gate. I walked back home alone, with a lot of confusion and anguish and pain.

Next day while going to the school it was raining and when my mother told me to wear the raincoat, I refused. I told my parents that I am not wearing the grey raincoat because I will be laughed at by the boys at school for wearing a raincoat meant for boys. My parents tried to reason me out that there is no such thing. The collars will protect my neck and pockets are in fact to keep things, which is added advantage. But recollection of the previous day’s incident sent panic waves in my body and I refused to buzz from my stand. I told my parents that I was indeed heckled the previous day and I want a new raincoat, a pink one meant for girls.

Not being able to reason out with me, my parents then became stern and chided me for asking a new raincoat. The one I was refusing was brand new, only a day old! It did not make change my decision, I was more helpless, felt even more isolated and more firm on my stand.

My uncle joined my parents and tried to reason me out. But they all failed and on hindsight now I see that we all failed in making the other side understand. As it was getting late for the school my mother did what generally an exasperated mother can do. She forcibly did put the raincoat on me and buttoned it up and told me to go to school.

By that time my friends from neighbourhood had left for school. I was to walk alone wearing that grey raincoat with collar and pockets! Something went severely wrong in my head and I felt sick inside. The only thing I could remember was me surrounded by those boys, their jeer and laughter. I felt helpless and frustrated; tears welled up in my eyes. My only question was why my mother does not understand?

Something again changed in me. Something dried up. Instead of crying and begging my parents for respite I took up my cause. I had no one on my side and I wanted to feel safe. I stood with the support of the wall of our then dining space and firm on my resolve not to buzz from that spot.

I opened a new negotiation channel. I told my parents that I will go to school without the raincoat or with an umbrella or even without any rain protection or else I won’t go. No, the negotiation failed. I could not succeed. And even my parents could not succeed. Gradually their voice of reasoning became threatening and they took out their last option – coercion. I was beaten up by my father to make me to go to school. ‘No way’ was my resolve. I could not let go of the paranoia and nobody in my family understood me!

Finally I was forcibly taken out from the house towards the gate and after leaving me outside the gate the gate was closed from inside. Either I was to go to school or as a punishment I was to stand outside the gate.

By then my neighbours had come to the picture. The Uncles and Aunties tried their bit to convince me to go to school. By then something had become really tight at my gut. I was silent, my jaws tight and my decision firmly made. I was not going to school with the grey raincoat. I knew by now that I was not wearing that grey raincoat ever.

All the adults were either smiling at my insistence or showing exasperation at my belligerence. But I was hard and concrete now. My feeling of shame and helplessness was getting denser and denser, I could sense it at a distance, but I was not feeling anything. I was no more thinking and feeling.

Exasperated my parents went inside the house with my punishment declared and gradually all bystanders also dispersed.

I stood there, infront of the gate of our house, looking down at the ground and feeling complicated emotions and wearing that grey raincoat with collars and pockets. This all started at 6 AM in the morning. My father left for office at 8 AM. I stood there. My uncle left for his college after some time. I stood there, silent and no tears.

It was around 9.30 AM, another uncle of mine who visited us that day saw me standing me in front of the gate wearing my uniform, holding school bag at my back and the grey raincoat on my shoulder. He asked me why I am standing there.

I told that Papa had asked me to. He went in, listened out the entire story and then came out, held my hand and told me to come in, assuring me that neither I will be scolded or beaten further. With that show of concern and assurance something again changed in me. Tears gushed out from my choked chest to eyes and wrenching sobbs towards mouth and standing there I begged again that I would not wear that grey raincoat again. My uncle assured me and promised me that nobody will force me to wear that again.

That raincoat in fact remained packed till two years later when my brother started going to school, wore that and never complained.

P.S. Do you have a story similar to my grey raincoat in your life? What was your ‘grey raincoat with collars and pockets’? Have you come across as a parent any ‘grey raincoat’ in your child’s life?

One grey raincoat’s blocked energy creates many grey raincoats in life. Much later in life I realised that grey raincoat with collars and pockets is NOT something to be ashamed of rather be proud of. Much later in life I learned to let the blocked energy of pain in me go and let the life flow.

Share your story of grey rain coat and let go of the blocked energy in you. Let the Life Flow.

My Journey of Becoming a Coach

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Thu, 12 May 2011 00:12:00 +0530

Wow! I have reached. I am now truly functional and great going Life Coach. I have already helped six clients achieve exceptional results in discovering and believing in their natural strength, true potential and go through their career and relationship transition goals. It feels so good when I hear and see them smile and thank me for being part of their success journey.

And I am only a month away to become a Professionally Certified Coach. And think of it, only two years back I had come to know about it and had put it in my dream list. I had no idea how to go about it except for a passionate desire
and a belief which came from my natural strength. I have been a natural listener, a good trainer, a good teacher and an extremely good sounding board to people.

I also had a personal goal at that time to be closer to my home and family. I needed to invest time and effort to my dream and needed to align it with my personal goal. And here I was with a job with high mobility, high time investment, a very nice pay packet but that kept me located at a place which was way away from my home and family.

Here came my first test of my own belief in my passion and dream. I had to stretch myself from my familiarity and comfort, I had to take a decision and make a choice. Be comfortable with what I had and be safe or take risk, jump into unknown and see if the dream can be reached. I needed to address a lot of fear in me before a decision can be taken. But I did it!! After a lot of personal reflection, I took the decision, took the risk of leaving the comfort and familiarity and jump into the unknown. I left my job, shifted my base to a new place closer to my family, invested my saving on my living and training and brought a lift style change which was literally drastic. Since then one year and four months have gone by.

I believe that life is a learning process and from this choice I have learned that no task or challenge is large enough to stop me from completing my goal! The lesson learned here is to take small steps toward achieving my goal. I also learned that life occasionally stretches everyone and encourages us to venture outside of our comfort zone to see the possibilities of positive change. And it always is worth our life purpose.

This is celebration time for me. And I wanted to share this happy energy around.

And if you have a dream or a goal and you feel stuck, I will be happy to provide my coaching skill as well. I trust I am good at my work. J

Let the blocked energy in you go. Let the Life Flow.

The Power of Meditation

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 19:08:00 +0530

After a long time I thought of letting my energy flow through this blog. Its been a long time since I even set any intention of posting anything here. When the intention is absent certainly the attention automatically goes off. But the energy after sometime again finds an outlet and flows on. Reading John's blog triggered the same with me. I am so passionate about meditation. But the way John Assaraf explains the power of meditation, it is really clear and powerful. Hope You also will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed it and would put into practice to Train Your Brain with Mediation.
Get, Set, Go...
Let the Life Flow....

If you had only a day to live?

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 20:14:00 +0530

Today I saw the film '3 Idiots' again and enjoyd as thoroughly as I had during the first view. There are many angles to the movie and I have read those in the many critiques I have read. But for me it is about living life to the fullest - with #passion.

Some time back my Coach asked me a powerful question - "If you had a day to live then how will you live that day?"

A powerful reminder that the length of life is finite and life is to live. By this I am not saying that we have to be morbid, but just think are you enjoying your life?

Does going to the office in the Monday morning fills you up with energy? Do you look forward to hit your office table and get going for the week?

Are you spending time with the people you love? Do you remember which is the next festival in the calender and how you are going to celebrate this and with whom?

Have you read those books which you wanted to read for quite some time? Have you seen that movie which you had planned but missed out because of the last minute deadline? Have you gone for a relaxed weekend with your family or friends?

Have you painted the picture you had felt inspired to paint some time back? Have you talked to your spouse for a relaxed half an hour in the last week?

Let me share share with you a part of my life in this regard. I had been a passionate social development professional for 12 years. I was passionate about my job, the causes for which I was working, the people with whom I was working. I loved every bit of those extended hours of job, in fact at times the office time was 20 hours a day. I was away from my husband during our anniversaries, I have not attended so many happy occasions in the family, I have missed out many personal celebrations and milestones and there were no regrets.

But over the time gradually I realised, some thing in me was not quite ok. I was not feeling that energy, the motivation was waning. I was more happy towards the weekend and not looking forward to a Monday. I liked the work, but was not spirited, not loving it any more. 'Have to' s creeped into in place of 'looking forward to'. Work looked like an obligation and not fun.

It was a realisation which filled me with fear and dilemma. But to cut a long story short I finally let it go and let the life flow. I left my job to embark on a new journey. It was difficult choice to let go of an image, a routine, a comfort, a security, a familiarity, approval of most and embrace a new unknown path. But I also think that it is important to be true to one self and live the life which fills one with energy and joy. At the end I can not be a better professional than a person I am and I can not give to anybody more than what I have.

Letting the life flow, I am more authentic to my self, more honest to self and others and making room for new things to come to my life.

It is an empowering question. I wanted to share with you and ask you - "If you had only a day to live how will you live and who will you live with?"

Food for thought? Share with others if you liked it.

The Joy of Greeting Cards

noreply@blogger.com (Vijaya Mishra) — Mon, 9 Aug 2010 15:05:00 +0530

Remember the days some 10 years back, when a festival or a special day was around the corner! Especially if it is New Year, Christmas or Birth Day. Did you look forward to the postman or the courier delivery boy? I used to wait for them with excitement, with happy expectation of receiving a colourful greeting card! Lovely colours and becautiful messages! The more I used to get, the more was the happiness. And then they used get a proud display in the front room of the house for quite sometime.

I also used to enjoy my leisure time in making cards with colours, cloths, bids, leafs, petals, threads and so on. Going to the shops to purchase a card used to be a relaxed enjoyment.

With the passing years and arrival of emails and ecards, the mode sending a wish has changed. They are equally colourful and much faster in delivery. But I still cherish the paper greeting cards - coz I can hold and touch them, can delightfully display them if I like and can show to everybody.

And I still enjoy going to a card shop and spend some leisurely time going through the cards to select one for sending to some near and dear, but the occasions and times I am doing that is not frequent.

What about you? Do you love the experience of being in a card shop? If yes, then try this out. Any day you are feeling low or down, just head for one such shop. Spend some time in looking for a card which you would love to get from somebody you love. Buy that and send it across to that somebody you love.

And experience the difference it brings to your mood!