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Administrator — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 00:02:00 +0000

Finding Work You Love, Part 3

Administrator — Thu, 26 Jan 2006 23:04:55 +0000

Finding Work You Love, Part 2

Administrator — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 17:44:29 +0000

Finding Work that you Love, Part 1

Administrator — Mon, 23 Jan 2006 20:55:21 +0000

In my new series of posts, “Finding Work that You Love,” I hope to share a process of finding a career that you really love. Further, I’d like to stimulate thoughts and discussion around the way we express our true values and desires in our actions. I believe this process is the same for reaching any goal or result that you’d like. It always begins with the question: “What do I want?”

One of the most common questions that comes up from my clients is, “How do you know what you really want?” In my coaching program for young adults, The Path to Purpose, we begin to answer that question by looking at what’s important to you, what fulfills you, what brings you joy. Golden threads, themes, and recurring ideas emerge from this examination. We reduce these threads to the most simple and powerful words, combining them to create a purpose statement that announces to the world and to yourself: ”This is who I am at my best!!!”

The ideas, emotions, and words that make up this statement are the building blocks for the next step in finding what you want. Applying them to your life, your career, your relationships will lead to more productive use of your time and more success in every life area.

For young adults, this question of “what do I really want?” is most often connected to careers. I’ve worked with tons of young people who have spent their lives answering this question with other people’s words. Don’t let the words of your parents, friends, or larger social influences answer your questions. To find work that you really love takes hard work, lots of introspection, and mostly honest, authentic talk.

Paul Graham writes of this quest in his post, “How to Do What You Love”,

It’s hard to find work you love; it must be, if so few do. So don’t underestimate this task. And don’t feel bad if you haven’t succeeded yet. In fact, if you admit to yourself that you’re discontented, you’re a step ahead of most people, who are still in denial.

This is a fundamental point. You must be able to assess your situation with honesty and without judgment. Only then can you move forward to the next step of examining what you love.

To summarize, the first steps to undertake in your quest to find work you love are these:

Start to think about what is important in your life. Write down 10 or so of the life experiences that have been the most satisfying, most joyous, most fulfilling.
Look for golden threads. Examine the words that come up, see what recurs, what seems most true, which words really connect with you. Choose 7 or so words that really stand out to you.
Create a purpose statement. Once you’ve determined the golden threads and themes, take those golden threads to the next level. Play with the words that you’ve written, move them around, speak them to yourself. Finally, choose the 3 or 4 words that are most powerful to you. Write them in a one sentence format beginning with “My Purpose is to…” (An example is my own, personal purpose statement: My purpose is to connect from the soul to create peace and learning.)
Assess where you are. Take stock of your journey to find work that you love. Think honestly and without judgment of exactly where you are on your path. Are you just beginning to think about work you love? Has this idea been rolling around in your head for a while? What kind of work experiences have you had? What worked for you? What hasn’t worked?

We’ll move forward from here in Part 2. Feel free to comment and ask questions if something above is unclear.

Technorati Tags : Career, Work, Success, College, Student, Purpose

My New Year’s Resolutions

Administrator — Mon, 09 Jan 2006 23:27:16 +0000

This year is a really big year for me. I’m beginning my second year as a full-time coach and am really looking forward to helping as many people as possible. So, without further ado, here are my resolutions:

Act with Compassion and Integrity

I will use objective, compassionate support with all of my clients. I will trust and believe in their infinite capacities, no matter what the circumstances are. I will offer scholarship coaching to at least five young adults in their teens and twenties. Also, I want to further my role with the NY Rotary as Chairman of the Interact Committee. My pledge is to get at least 1 new Interact club up and running this year. I will continue to support the local homeless population on a one-to-one basis as much as possible. I will act with integrity in the moment at all times and not compromise my values to please others or be affirmed.

Speak Up

I commit to speaking about young adult issues in as many community forums as possible. I will raise awareness of methods to combat young adult alienation, increase purpose, and tap into native talents and desires. I will host a ‘Young Adult Success Program’ in as many places as possible. If there are any readers who would like me to speak to their organization or association, please contact me to arrange this via email: blog at haydencoach dot com. Also, I will begin to podcast this year, focusing on young adult concerns.

Meditate Daily

Meditation has made a huge positive impact on my life over the last ten or so years. During 2005, I let my meditation practice become irregular instead of maintaining a daily routine. This year, I commit to meditating daily for at least twenty minutes.

Have More Faith

If there was just one catalyst that I could point to that shifted my attitude, my life, and my ambitions; it would be the development of faith. When I was in my teens and early-twenties, I had very little belief in the rich possibilities that life had to offer. Rather, I felt bored and trapped. I developed a skeptical, nihilistic attitude towards others and the world at large. Transforming this belief system to one that was built on believing- in G-d, in others, even in myself and my own power- was a massive change that took years to actualize. Over the last five or so years, I’ve established faith as a cornerstone of my life. This year, I want to push further and find faith more often. In 2006, I commit to listening calmly and gently to doubts when they arise and then allowing them to be dismissed by a steady sense of faith.

Throw Out the Trash

Finally, I commit to letting go of the past. I will let go of all of the garbage- the regrets, the guilt, the mistakes, the negative thoughts. In 2006, I will concentrate on the here and now so that I may enjoy every perfect second of it.

What are you committing to this year?

PS- Check out Rosa Say’s post on making those resolutions stick- Cause the Good to Last.

Technorati : 2006resolutions, new+year’s, resolutions, success

You Don’t Have to be a Superstar to Make a Huge Contribution

Administrator — Sun, 08 Jan 2006 23:09:20 +0000

Today at the NY Rotary Club luncheon we had an absolutely fantastic speaker, Cliff Connor. His book, A People’s History of Science, chronicles the tremendous impact artisans, machinists, and even slaves have made on science. While we all know the Isaac Newtons, Albert Einsteins, and Galileos of the world, there’s a whole other class of unknown people who have made contributions to science and human survival.

One person that Cliff highlighted was a slave named Onesimus, who taught his master, Cotton Mather, how to inoculate for smallpox. If not for Onesimus’ contribution, the American colonies would not have survived the smallpox epidemic of the early 18th century.

What struck me was not that unknown people, toiling in their work, have made amazing discoveries. Instead, I thought of the spark of human creativity that inspired them to create, develop, or perfect their ideas. Mr. Connor’s speech was like a refresher course in the subject of human possibility.

What can you, just a humble guy or gal like the rest of us, do that can impact the future of the world?

Steve Jobs and his partner Steve Wozniak were just a couple of computer enthusiasts building machines in their garage when they started Apple Computers. Remember, you don’t have to be a celebrity or a superstar in the Ivory Tower to be important or impactful.

Technorati : books, computers, education, science, success
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New Year’s Resolutions, Decision Making, and Goal Setting

Administrator — Fri, 06 Jan 2006 03:16:56 +0000

Over the holidays, I came across a very insightful post on the goalsguy.com site. Titled ‘The Ten Commandments of Goal-Setting,’ the post is a perfect accompaniment to your New Year’s Resolutions. Goals Guy nails the most important point in his first commandment, ‘Thou Shall Be Decisive.’

Success is a choice. You must decide what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it. No one else can, will, or should do that for you.

Making choices instead of letting life’s circumstances lead you along is fundamental to getting where you want to go. By making choices, you become a create-or. No longer will you be sitting on the sidelines as things happen to you. Instead, you’ll be piloting the flight of your life towards any destination you desire.

If you do nothing else this year, deciding to make real choices can improve your life exponentially. Are you ready to take the plunge and be an agent of choice this year? Take a look at the commandments and see if you can integrate them into your life this year.

Technorati : 2006resolutions, college, decision+making, resolutions, success, teens

5 Steps to Creating Successful Outcomes

Administrator — Tue, 03 Jan 2006 02:29:50 +0000

So many of us are frustrated by not getting what we want. We feel angry or disappointed that we have a vision of something that we want to have, be, or achieve but we’re somehow unable to manifest it into being. I think this feeling is a fundamental frustration for all of us- one of our essential impulses is dynamic, a lifelong urge to create, to grow, to progress. When we are stymied in our ‘create-ive’ progress, we get angry, discouraged, or self-critical.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what the process of ‘create-ing’ is all about and really going back to basics in my own life. In doing so, I’ve decided on 5 steps that I really believe in. These 5 steps have worked for me and my clients over and over again and I hope they will inspire success in your life also. Without further ado, here we go…

#1 Outcomes Must Come First

You must begin with the result you want to achieve. This is primary and crucial to success. At the beginning, one must forget about process, leave behind worries about how to get to the result. Start instead by focusing all of your attention on the desired result or outcome. What does it look like? Is there a feeling attached to what you want to achieve? Can you taste it, smell it, touch it? The more detail you can grab on to at the beginning, the more clarity of vision you start with, the more likely you will get what you desire.

#2 Where are you right now?

An honest, non-critical assessment of your place along the path to your result is the next step to tackle. Once you’ve gotten clear about the vision of what outcome you’d like to create, the contrast of where you are right now could inspire a path to the result. If a clear path doesn’t appear via contrast, many possibilities will come up. Ask yourself, how could I get from here to my result?

You don’t need to decide yet. Simply take stock of the possibilities, jot them down in a journal, write them on separate index cards for later arrangement, or keep them percolating in your mind.

#3 What could I do next?

Now that you’ve created some possibilities for the path to your result, it’s time to think specifically about the first step forward. Ask yourself, what could I do tomorrow that would move me one step closer to my result?

The answer may lead you to an action, like doing research, calling for information, buying running clothes, or asking your friend about her guitar teacher. If you can determine an exact physical action, then you are more likely to complete that step and move forward with the process.

The answer may also be more subtle, non-concrete step like being more relaxed, thinking in a more self-affirming way, etc. If the answer is about mind-state, clarify the exact steps you need to take to achieve that mind-state. If the next step is being more relaxed, then one could meditate every day, take walks in nature, keep a journal, or even just be more aware when tensions arise.

#4 Commit to, then undertake the next step

It’s time to take action, so you must commit to the next step. In step 3, you generated some possible next actions, did any of them stand out as the obvious next step? If so, commit to that step and do it. Schedule in the workouts, send off for information about that vacation spot, ask your boss about the opening in your department. Whatever that next step is, it’s time to do it.

If your feeling scared or overwhelmed because you’ve begun the process of a large commitment, try focusing your energy entirely on this next step. Forget about the larger goal of the desired outcome. Think instead about your next action and whatever resources it requires. Try to complete this next action and forget about the process.

When you complete the next step, give yourself an affirmation. You’re closer to your goal and you deserve some positive reinforcement. Congratulate yourself with an imaginary pat on the back, some positive self-talk, or even a small gift.

#5 Repeat

When you’ve completed that next action and you’re ready to move on to the next step toward your goal, simply repeat the process outlined above. The more proficient you are at this process of creating successful outcomes, the quicker this process will move. Each step will take minutes instead of hours or days. Next actions will appear in your mind with zero effort. Where once you may have seen obstacles, you’ll now find possibilities. You’ll be creating new outcomes for yourself and consistently achieving the results you want.

I hope that this process helps and that you move closer to your dreams and desires. I leave you with a phrase that has helped me quite a bit.

Inch by inch, life is a cinch. Yard by yard, life is hard.

Technorati : lifehacks, results, success
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Pre-Holiday Post

Administrator — Mon, 19 Dec 2005 23:39:27 +0000

I’ll be on vacation for the next couple of weeks beginning tomorrow, so posting will be light until after the new year. I’ll be checking email and voicemail regularly so please don’t hesitate to send a message. email: blog at haydencoach dot com

Technorati Tags : holiday

Cool Internet Music

Administrator — Sun, 18 Dec 2005 21:54:03 +0000

I came across this really cool free music service called Pandora. The creators of Pandora call it “a music discovery service designed to find and enjoy music that you’ll love.” By using the Music Genome Project’s database of hundreds of musical attributes or ‘genes,’ the service suggests music that’s similar to your tastes. You simply enter a song or artist you like and Pandora will suggest music that might suit your tastes. Pandora uses the actual musical attributes of a song or artist such as rhythm, melody, phrasing, or arrangement to suggest music you might like.

Pandora is like a radio station completely customized to your tastes. You can give each song a thumbs up or down to further customize your station. And the best feature is that you can have as many as 100 stations which are all built on the ‘genes’ of a song or artist that you like. Did I mention that it’s free too?

Technorati Tags : Internet+Music, Radio, Pandora, Music, Online+Music