Let's Get Nice

my thoughts were so loud i couldn't hear my mouth.

2010-11-24T02:50:00.003-05:00

lately:

there are some serious scumbags around this town.

graduation is literally right around the corner

1/2 way closes Sunday.

i can't WAIT to move January 1st.

though it is taking way too long to launch, In The Backpack should launch for the New Year.... Just so many ideas cropping up!

my digital camera started working again for the time being, thank fucking god. now i have another hobby i can do that just makes me push other people away even harder

i don't think people read this anymore.

it's good that i don't write in it as much.

if people knew how little i really cared for everything they'd probably be pretty worried/angry.

i'm just literally so fucking frustrated with everyone that i can't talk to anyone.

i've never been so angry at everything i look at.

another night.

2010-08-10T22:50:00.003-04:00

i've been seriously slacking lately.
on like everything.
i'm always busy but like, there's so much i haven't gotten to do this summer.
got a new SD card though. cool to take pictures again.
playing a show friday with my brother's band(s?) and other local bands.
www.PerilliStock.com

maybe it's not all so bad.
everyone,
sorry about everything.
i don't know i'm gonna go play guitar,
i need to write a happy song.

....

2010-08-03T03:35:00.003-04:00

i'm absolutely petrified.
photo's soon.

it's late i'm rambling i'm sorry.

2010-07-26T01:06:00.006-04:00

but i can't even write the words to try to capture how i'm feeling
and you don't even know what you'd say if you could open up your mouth.
i've hated myself for the longest time.

it all fell apart after the accident.
i saw entire cities crumbling into dirt
i saw ______, ___ and _______.
and i saw the ocean and couldn't separate it from the skyline.

what if,
all
of
a
sudden,
everything just fucking glitched on you?
and you weren't sure of anything
but
knew
what
was there?

somewhere, though, i AM sure and
i DO remember that little girl you were, picking blueberries with me
laughing in the mirror
and placing clouds in the sky.
i'm so sure of this, and nothing but this.
do i need to know anything but this?

i understand i understand HOLY SHIT I UNDERSTAND FINALLY why you love'd that room so damn much.
and why you said it gave you the best sleep ever.
and how you never wanted to wake up again.
holy fucking shit.

do metaphors scare you?
1/2 way.
lucky 3.
my eyes are changing colors again.
oh my god.
fuck this shit.

And all I saw were fireworks.

2010-07-18T15:26:00.003-04:00

I should really get on that camera thing.

Played at the Halfway Cafe for Taylor's 21st birthday the other night, good crew showed up holla atcha boy.
Taylor had fun and everyone got fed and it was rad.
Pictures probably never?

Oh and then BBT shared this link on my Facebook, I was quoted in the ledger for not buying a laptop at Bridgewater State College. Ghetto life. Big-ups to my 2GB flash-drive.

College laptop program costs too much money, experts say - Quincy, MA - The Patriot Ledger

Off to work, later!

2010-07-15T05:21:00.001-04:00

i can't keep doing this to myself.

All that I had, but I dropped. (and P.S. I can't believe what you did...)

2010-07-14T05:36:00.004-04:00

can't sleep again, lame. update this stuff I guess.

in addition to trying to work on a million other things as well, i really need to start making a blog with purpose. i've been kind of strapped for brain-storming, but anyone who actually reads this, feel free to let me know how you feel about this idea...

Since losing my SD card a few weeks ago I haven't been able to take pictures. Although I definitely have the money right now for one, anyone who knows me knows I'm a cheap bastard and will legitimately make-do with anything I have to avoid buying new shit. My back-up SD card is only 16mb, and I was quite shocked to find it can only hold 4 pictures. For blogs sake, I figured I would try to take the misfortune of losing my SD card and try to turn it into something positive. I'm thinking of possibly starting a daily (hopefully, or possibly weekly) blog where I can only upload 4 pictures a day. I'd tell a story with them and try to fill in gaps, which would give me a chance to work on my writing skills. I don't know, it's an idea, but I really need to start legit working on a website or something for when I graduate and get to big-people world. this new blog would probably be on my more business-friendly WordPress (JamieThomasLong.WordPress.com).

I'm excited to play this Friday night at Halfway Cafe for Taylor's 21st birthday. Seriously, if you're 21, please come, we'd all love to see you. Free appetizers. Wii sports will start around 9 or so for anyone who wants to play, appetizers will come out a short while later, then I'll probably start playing music around 9:45.

I played a small show at James the other night, it was fun. Meaghan Casey took some rad pictures, as seen below. I'm excited for Perilli Stock in August as well, it's Friday the 13th. Come, it's seriously a killer time. There will be a whole bunch of bands spanning many genres of music, lots of people go, there's a pool and always mad food.

I seriously love playing music in front of people but truth be told it's fucking scary as shit. While playing music is my hobby, Communications is my major and I've done tons of public speaking stuff. I feel like I should be a little more easy about it, but seriously I feel like freaking out every time.
People tell me I'm good at it, and even today A friend of mine told me, "I really think you should speak at [this thing]....You're extremely well-spoken, you can make people laugh, you tell stories well...."

I just feel that lately everytime I go to open my mouth nothing comes out.

2010-07-13T13:05:00.000-04:00

it's getting better all the time.

what a mess I make.

2010-07-06T08:04:00.005-04:00

Totally weird vibes lately:
1) I work too much but I'm stacking money.
2) I can't figure out where I want to live when I graduate (or perhaps next semester), at all.
3) I'm scared sometimes that I'm keeping too close all the things I shouldn't.
4) I need to start practicing and figuring out songs for Taylor's birthday bash on the 16th.
5) I legit almost got raped.
6) I need to have more full-band shit ready for the Perilli's party on Friday the 13th. Mids Kids official debut. (whaat?)
7) I'm up too early and gooning all over again.
8) I make too many posts where I list things.

Lately, it's hard to play certain songs I've written live.....actually, a lot of them. I've heard certain recording artists feel the same way, you know? Having to re-live all the painful memories in front of people every time they play. I guess I don't know. I mean, I just never thought I'd have the same issue. It's just more difficult knowing certain things lack conclusion, as well as plenty of things I'm always trying to work out. But some nights, when it feels right and I can't take all this frustration out anywhere else, there's some sort of comfort in screaming the songs. It sounds lame now, but it's sort of like a release I guess. Or is it relapse?

Maybe I just need to write a happy song or something. That might make me and anybody who has to listen to me bitch feel 1000x better. I'm gonna try to get off this and catch some more zzzz's before work.

Considering I don't have a cell-phone and am impossible to get in touch with

2010-07-04T15:39:00.003-04:00

New plan:
Borrow people's phones to "make quick calls" at parties/public settings, text message pictures of myself in said location to random friends to let them know I'm thinking of them. Feel free to upload pictures, or upgrade your data plans.

That's it for today, Happy 4th!

And suddenly I knew what I had to do.

2010-07-03T15:49:00.001-04:00

Now that makes sense.

I'm gonna get the money I'm gonna get the money I'm gonna get the money and fucking run for my life.

I'm gonna stay up all night, every night, for the rest of my life.

2010-06-28T03:53:00.003-04:00

Whew, just got back from Quincy.

Today I played a show at the Marshfield Yacht Club for the "Blessing of the Fleet" with Craig. While old people and little children are not my usual demographic, some rad friends showed up who I haven't seen in abit, so it was nice. They were also offering me mad free beer, which was very nice. Then I had work, whateverrrr. Made some money, that was good. Went to Mad Fish after to play some songs. So rad to not be in earlier said demographic but with so many of the same people. Degust and Mary came so that was awesome. I love them, seriously. My friends mean the world to me.

Lately I've been gooning for legit no reason. I just feel like this is neither the time nor place for it. Even though it's probably both. It sucks when there's all this shit that you can't even tell your best friends. It's kind of like this massive secret that I can't talk about. I don't even think I'd want to if someone asked me about it. Ahhh just so much inside....ughhh.

But from the other side of things I'm allowed to goon out about:
This random other girl is seriously creeping me THE FUCK OUT.
Like, if I even told you, you wouldn't believe me.
It's fuuuuucking ridiculous.
I don't even know why I wrote that, but honestly....it's so bad I don't want to talk about it.

I really do need to get my SD card or borrow someones. I figure maybe if I take some pictures I should stop bitching on this thing. God damn the Jam, 2010. Sorry guys. Fuck me, if you don't kill me.

Say yes....

2010-06-23T09:30:00.003-04:00

I just stumbled upon this poem I wrote oh so many years ago. Baby, do you remember me now?

It's interesting enough:
When the subject of love comes up
people are so quick to talk.
When the subject of death comes up
no one can say a fucking thing.
The weirdest thing is:
One only happens to some of us
and one happens to all of us.

From what I HAVE learned:
When you're dead you don't come back to talk to your best friend.
You don't have control of your mother's brakes before the accident.
A warm September wind is not fingertips on your lover's face.
The 100 grand you spent on college doesn't pay you back.
God doesn't even know who you are,
let alone shake your hand.

But what's left:
Passing your drivers test.
Your first time.
A sunset in California.
And her hair,
long as the summer
and the scent it left on your pillow,
and the long days in highschool waiting for it.

Let's Get Nice.

2010-06-21T13:27:00.003-04:00

This website/blog is going to be going through some serious changes, all of which I will be finalizing soon.

Basically, I want to run this blog in a new format from now on.

Each week (ideally), I will post 2 videos:
1) Doing something nice for someone else.
2) Playing a new song.

I will try to film the songs whenever the occasion arises, and it would be preferable to have some sort of audience (friends/party/open mic's/woods/I honestly don't care). Cover requests are plenty more than welcome. If anyone is down for this, let me know. It'd probably just be short videos on my digital camera.

I mean, I will definitely still be posting my weird ass ramblings in this thing, but I want to promote the idea of playing music for friends, promote my own music, and also just the idea that you can have a good time and do good things for people.

I don't know, let me know what you think, if anyone even sees or reads this.
There will obviously be shameless self-promotion through FaceBook.
And thank you to everyone who come to open mic's to see me.
And thank you to Nick for helping me record.
I don't know, thanks everyone.

2010-06-21T08:38:00.001-04:00

i meant every word i'd sung for you.

oh man

2010-06-20T00:12:00.003-04:00

and i used to think people who wrote concept albums were cool...

if i even told anyone all the weird shit i'm thinking all the time they'd think i'm crazy.
all i see are these ridiculous metaphors...i don't know.
i'm getting pretty fucking nervous to tell you the truth.

who am i even talking to?

right ahead, young sailor!!!

2010-06-19T11:11:00.004-04:00

...well, that felt good.

humidity.

2010-06-18T10:57:00.001-04:00

skateboarding today, beach if this heat blows.
prah some grill thrown in there too.

weird life.

you can change it all if you want to.

2010-06-17T10:34:00.002-04:00

i stopped by this apt the other day and was smoking a blunt and some mother came in WITH HER ONE YEAR OLD BOY IN A STROLLER to buy something off this kid and then she started hitting the blunt in front of her baby boy.

feeling pretty badly about life right now.
seriously, that's not fucking cool at all.

Regardless of not having a cell phone...

2010-06-16T13:55:00.004-04:00

Did you think that maybe there's a reason we don't stay in touch?
Like, if I try calling you and we hang out, obviously it means I care enough to.
and I used to, I really did.
But did you ever think there's a direct correlation between how you acted how you did and why I don't call you anymore?

fuuuuuuck dude, get me back to the city.

this circle will never be broken.

2010-06-14T02:30:00.006-04:00

Jon & Christine are getting married. He gave her the ring and they're planning on next summer or something. I'm really happy for them and so so so excited. He's been one of my best friends for my entire life. And though I just met her about a year ago when they started seeing each other, Christine is a super great girl for him. I trust in their decision, and I'm pumped considering they're like my first friends to get hitched.
AND JON O AND MYSELF ARE THE "BEST MEN".
FUCK YES.
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!

bryan salmon has remained one of my tightest friends i feel like for quite some time. i don't know, he's just a good kid and when i'm bummed he is good at spreading cheer. i don't know, all of my friends are far too nice to me. seriously, thank you all.

i think i lost my SD card the other day. lame, i need to either track down where my clever niece/cousin hid it or pick a new one up.

i'm about to beat a GameBoy game i bought in roughly the 6th grade. so weird, i don't know....
i've also been re-reading Interpreter of Maladies, which I haven't even looked at in like 4 years. it's actually pretty good.

random, but have you heard the phrase "a man is as good as his tools" (or something like that?)
i've been thinking about it for awhile, and i totally believe it.
i mean, given the medium, i feel like i could accomplish so much, i just never have the time.
it's like, i love skateboarding, i love guitar, i like working, i love taking pictures, writing songs...fuck, i mean i even tried knitting over the winter and am attempting to grow strawberries right now.

it's strange, i just have this desire to learn as much as possible so i can keep myself occupied and be productive in as many different things i can cram in my head....which is great, but i guess sometimes i feel like i don't get to totally realize my full potential in any one single area.
oh well, i guess there's always room for improvement.

sometimes i don't know how to act. i secretly do miss you sometimes, but of course i'm going to be bitter. i have every right in the world to be. you would be too, i'm sure. i fear already that this is going to be received the wrong way and maybe by the wrong person. probably by the wrong person. ugh vague life.
it's late, i'm clearly rambling.
i can't even go on the computer without all these painful images.

and i wanted to hurt all the shit-talkers.

2010-06-11T10:16:00.008-04:00

i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone but you i swear to god i never believed anyone.

karma, so hard.

2010-06-08T02:19:00.003-04:00

Damn it seems like it's been a bit but everything at this point is just kind of blurring.

Work, work, work and trying to stack $$.
and I (usually) always get to see my friends there!
raaad.

KARMA:
Yesterday I was serving these three dudes inside the restaurant (Chris, Jon, Tim?), just talking to them mad long and stuff, they seemed like good guys. then they asked of they could go out to the biker function on the patio. local bikers were having a fundraiser for their friend who was paralyzed from the neck-down in a motorcycle accident. they were selling t-shirts and raffle tickets for prizes such as laptops, scratch tickets, etc. I'm just shooting the shit with one of the dudes (Chris) actually ends up winning $250 in the raffle, and then donated it back to the family/charity to get them through all this. They invite me out to have a beer with them, and then ask if i wanna go to (yuck) the roadhouse. We get there to watch the Lakers/Celts and they're buying me some beers and it's nice. Fucking Chris hits for $450 on a scratch ticket and just buys us all a bunch of shots/beer/keno tickets. I don't know, but unless he's just really lucky, i feel like it had something to do with giving the money back to that family.

i feel like i notice this kind of stuff all the time.
i mean, even when shit goes wrong, all you can really do is be the nicest person you can.
i think i get along pretty well with everyone, and these past 2 years i feel like the biggest weight has been lifted off my head. i'm in a much better spot, now, and it's so nice.

I have some of the best friends i could have ever asked for, and i hope they know how much they mean to me.

i'm opening tomorrow, so i'm gonna go to bed now. it's late. goodnight!

Follow Mike and Trevor on their trip across the U.S.

2010-06-01T10:17:00.003-04:00

My friends Mike and Trevor from school have started their (roughly) 7 week stint across the United States. They embarked yesterday in a Ford Focus in what should be the trip of a life-time. The road-trip will take them across 14 national parks including Yellowstone, Death Valley, Redwood, and the Grand Canyon. Largely a camping-trip, this 10,000 mile journey is being funded by Bridgewater State College's ATP grant. Best of luck, and a safe return to the both of them.

Follow Mike here:
http://knotsandcasualties.tumblr.com/

and Trevor here:
http://www.notanothercollegeblog.blogspot.com/

Also, I may consider switching "Let's Get Nice" over to WordPress.
I kind of like the layout I have going on for my more "professional" website:
http://JamieThomasLong.wordpress.com

STRANDED KIDS.

2010-05-31T11:22:00.001-04:00

mids,
rum,
beach forever.