Lets Laugh Online

Wedding Joke

2012-01-06T06:17:00.002-05:00

Church. Wedding. The priest is asking the groom formally:
- Are you willing to take that woman for a wife?
The groom swallows with a mild despair:
- Uhhm... Can you offer me something better?

Funniest jokes compilation

2011-12-29T04:30:00.000-05:00

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy.
"Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands.
"At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - hell, even the urinal's gold!"
The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story.
"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
" Yes it is," bartender answers.
" Do you have huge golden doors?"
" Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?"
" Most certainly do."
" What about golden urinals?"
There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!"

Source: http://adf.ly/4SH4N -> Comedy-zone

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her decorating job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out
"green side up!"
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled
"green side up!"
The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled
"green side up!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying a lawn across the street.

Source: http://adf.ly/4SH8J -> Comedy-zone

Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."

Source: http://adf.ly/4SHE9 -> Food-jokes

Good Old Dad

One day at the end of class little Billy"s teacher has the class go home and think of story and then conclude the moral of that story....

The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story and little Suzy raises her hand... "my dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market... well one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road" ... teacher asks for the moral of the story... Suzy replies, "don't keep all your eggs in one basket"

Next is little Lucy.... "well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator" .... "last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched"....Teacher asks for the moral of the story.... Lucy replies "don't count your eggs before they're hatched"

Last is little Billy.... "My dad fought in the Vietnam war, his plane was shot down over enemy territory".... "he jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete".... "on the way down he drank the case of beer".... "unfortunately he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy soldiers".... "he shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more, but the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands"

Teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.... Billy replies, "don't fuck with my dad when he's been drinking"

Source: http://adf.ly/4SHIB -> Food-jokes

Truth hurts sometimes...

2011-12-19T12:29:00.000-05:00

Just a funny joke :)

2011-12-16T07:02:00.000-05:00

A man calls the local radio station:

- Hi, is that the radio?
- Yes, it is. What is your music wish?
- I found a wallet on the street with $5000 and 2000 Euro. There is also a drivng's licence on the name of John Edwards.
- Very nice to inform us, what do you want to do next?
- Now I want to greet Mr Edwards with the best song you have!

Laugh more, argue less!

2011-12-03T08:09:00.000-05:00

So keep it fun, enjoy your lives and don't argue!

Shocked father!

2011-12-03T07:20:00.001-05:00

Never solve problems this way, it is not that funny !

Amazed from these guys...

2011-11-29T02:26:00.000-05:00

It took me some time to realize it...

Source: http://www.pyzam.com/funnypictures/details/7605?sort=popular

Man's best friend... or vice versa :)

2011-11-29T02:22:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, relationships are funny :)

Source: http://www.jokesarena.com/funny-pic/dog/1051.html

The joke of the day... cheers blond girls! :)

2011-10-28T03:37:00.001-04:00

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

Source: http://www.ahajokes.com/blo060.html

...And some funny quotes about women ;)

2011-10-28T02:48:00.003-04:00

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Charlotte Whitton

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.
Lenny Bruce

I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.
Mel Gibson

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.
David Niven

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
Edgar Watson Howe

Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
Samuel Butler

Source: http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Funny-Quotes/Women-Quotes.html

Some funny quotes about men :)

2011-10-28T02:47:00.004-04:00

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Madonna

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henry Youngman

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'.
Rita Rudner

This guy says, 'I'm perfect for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.'
I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?'
Judy Tenuta

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
Jean Kerr

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.
Tim Allen

I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.
Gwyneth Paltrow

Source: http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Funny-Quotes/Men-Quotes.html

Check the joke of the day :)

2011-10-27T04:51:00.001-04:00

Doctor: What’s wrong with your bother?
Boy: He thinks he is a chicken.
Doctor: really? How long has this been going on?
Boy: Five years.
Doctor: Five years!
Boy: We would have brought him in earlier, but we needed the eggs.

Don't cheat on your friends! :)

2011-10-26T02:31:00.001-04:00

Some funny new jokes

2011-10-25T03:19:00.001-04:00

Here are some funny jokes that can make you laugh... online :) Enjoy and have fun! :

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob." All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!"

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."

A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, "I pick this room." Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, "O.K., coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads!"

A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go ‘roof’." "No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?" "Rough!" the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you. " He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

Source: http://www.bluedonut.com/jokes.htm

Funny back flip fall

2011-04-26T15:41:00.001-04:00

Look at that funny try-out of back flip :

Jokes and Humor Collection

2011-03-03T12:22:00.004-05:00

Here are some interesting and funny stories, some of them are formulated as Questions&Answers Have fun ;)

How many Englishmen does it take to batter down a castle gate?
10,000, 100 to hold the ram and 9,900 to move the castle back and forth.
Caller to BT Directory Enquiries: "I want a knitwear company in Woven"
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?
Caller: "Yes, That's what it says on the label. Woven in Scotland."
Little boy called Jamie asked father, called Wallace, "what will my name be when I grow up?"
Father said "Jamie of course". Little Jamie said "do you mean to say I will have a little boy's name when I'm a grown up man?"
rudeness - someone who keeps talking while your are trying to interrupt.
Lady, at pedestrian crossing, waiting to cross the road saw the little Green Man and heard the audible sound so duly crossed over to the other pavement. An American visitor asked what was the purpose of the audible sound. On being told it was for blind people said, 'Oh, we don't let them drive in America' !!
The Scots have an infallible cure for sea-sickness. They lean over the side of the ship with a ten pence coin in their teeth."
"In some Scottish restaurants they heat the knives so you can't use too much butter."
McTavish broke the habit of a lifetime and bought two tickets for a raffle. One of his tickets won a 1,000 pound prize. He was asked how he felt about his big win. "Disappointed" said McTavish. "My other ticket didn't win anything"
McDougal walked into a fish and chip shop. "I want 10 pence worth of chips, please. I want lots of salt and vinegar on them and two pence worth of pickled onions. And wrap the whole lot in today's newspaper".
You should be careful about stereotyping the Scots as mean. There was a recent letter to a newspaper from an Aberdonian which said "If you print any more jokes about mean Scotsmen I shall stop borrowing your paper."
Have you heard the rumour that the Grand Canyon was started by a Scotsman who lost a coin in a ditch?
After discovering that they had won 15 million pounds in the Lottery, Mr and Mrs McFlannel sat down to discuss their future. Mrs McFlannel announced "After twenty years of washing other people's stairs, I can throw my old scrubbing brush away at last." Her husband agreed - "Of course you can, hen. We can easily afford to buy you a new one now."
As a Christmas present one year, the Laird gave his gamekeeper, MacPhail, a deerstalker hat with ear-flaps. MacPhail was most appreciative and always wore it with the flaps tied under his chin to keep his ears warm in the winter winds. One cold, windy day the Laird noticed he was not wearing the hat.
"Where's the hat?" asked the Laird.
"I've given up wearing it since the accident," replied MacPhail.
"Accident? I didn't know you'd had an accident."
"Yes. A man offered me a nip of whisky and I had the earflaps down and never heard him."
Scotsmen hate to see waste, no matter where it is. So when Jock saw the Niagara Falls for the first time he said it was a waste of water - and a plumber in Dundee could fix them in half an hour.
A Scottish prayer - "Oh Lord, we do not ask you to give us wealth. But show us where it is!"
Angus called in to see his friend Donald to find he was stripping the wallpaper from the walls. Rather obviously, he remarked "You're decorating, I see." to which Donald replied "Naw. I'm moving house."
When a bus company was prevailed upon to increase the concessionary fare to frequent travellers so that they got six journeys instead of four for a pound, one elderly gentleman, renowned for his frugality, even in a community where frugal folk are common, was still unhappy.
"It's all dam' foolishness," he declared. "Now we've got to walk to town six times instead of four times to save a pound!"
Did you hear about the Scotsman who got caught making nuisance telephone calls? He kept reversing the charges.
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian were in a bar and had just started on a new round of drinks when a fly landed in each glass of beer. The Englishman took his out on the blade of his Swiss Army knife. The Australian blew his away in a cloud of froth. The Scotsman lifted his one up carefully by the wings and held it above his glass. "Go on, spit it oot, ye wee devil" he growled.
McNab had become a bit hard of hearing but he didn't want to pay for a hearing aid. So bought a piece of flex, put one end in his top pocket and the other end in his ear. It didn't help his hearing but he found that people spoke to him more loudly.
McTavish took his girlfriend out for the evening. They returned to her flat just before midnight and as she kissed him goodnight she said: "Be careful on your way home. I'd hate anyone to rob you of all the money you've saved this evening."
<span>By mistake, Sandy put a 50 pence coin instead of 5 pence on the collection plate at church. Despite his entreaties, the minister refused to give it back to him. So for the next nine weeks, when the plate was passed round, he passed it on saying "Season ticket."
"Sandy suggested a candlelit dinner last night" Jessie reported to her friend the next day. "That was dead romantic" said her friend. "Not really. It just saved him having to fix the fuse."
Jock asked the bus conductor how much it would cost to travel into town. "80 pence" said the conductor. Jock thought this was a bit steep so he decided to run after the bus for a few stops. "How much now?" he asked. "Still 80 pence". Jock ran after the bus for another three stops and, panting, he asked "How much now?" The conductor replied "90 pence. You're running in the wrong direction!"
MacDonald was awarded 10,000 pounds for injuries received after a traffic accident and his wife got 2,000 pounds. A friend asked how badly injured his wife had been in the accident. MacDonald replied "Och, she wasn't injured but I had the presence of mind to kick her in the leg before the police arrived."
A visitor to an Aberdeen bar was surprised to find the beer only two pence a pint. The barman explained that it was the price to mark the centenary of the pub opening. The visitor noticed, however, that the bar was empty. "Are the regular customers not enjoying the special prices?" he asked. To which the barman replied "They're waiting for the Happy Hour"
It is rumoured that the entire population of Aberdeen took to the streets with an empty glass in their hands when the weather forecaster said there would be a nip in the air.
There was understandable scepticism when it was suggested that Napoleon Bonaparte was the grandson of a Scot from Balloch. But now it has been pointed out that there is further proof that Napoleon was indeed Scots - his hand was always under his lapel, to make sure no-one had lifted his wallet...
An Englishman, roused by a Scot's scorn of his race, protested that he was born an Englishman and hoped to die an Englishman.
"Man," scoffed the Scot,
"hiv ye nae ambeetion?"
In the "old days" Clan MacKay went raiding one time and came back with, among other things, dozens of bottles of whiskey and one loaf of bread. When the chief saw the booty, he asked, "Wha's gaen ta eat a' that bread?"
Scottish preacher to his congregation: "I don't mind you putting buttons in the collection plate, but please provide your own buttons. Stop pulling them off the church cushions."
Another Scottish preacher is said to have prayed thus after a particularly unproductive collection: "We thank you Lord that the plate was returned safely."
An English silver expert travelling in Scotland was asked if he would like to look at the trophies won by the Scottish national soccer team. He replied that he wasn't interested in antiques.
An American was hopelessly lost in the Highlands and wandered about for nearly a week. Finally, on the seventh day he met a kilted inhabitant. "Thank heaven I've met someone," he cried. "I've been lost for the last week." "Is there a reward out for you?" asked the Scotsman. "No," said the American. "Then I'm afraid you're still lost," was the reply.
Sign at a Scottish golf course: "Members will refrain from picking up lost balls until they have stopped rolling."
Why are so many Scottish churches circular? So nobody can hide in the corners during the collection.
Letter to the editor: "Sir, if you print any more jokes about Scotsmen I shall cease borrowing your newspaper.
Jock McTavish." A Scotsman decided to get married so one morning he sent messages to three of his girlfriends, proposing marriage. Two phoned immediately to say "yes' while the third phoned that night to say the same. He married the third girl saying, "The lass for me is the one who waits for the cheap rates."
A Scotsman won a toilet brush as the booby prize in a raffle. He had never won anything before, though, so he was delighted. A few weeks later a friend asked if he was getting much use from the toilet brush. "Well," came the reply, "I don't think much of it. I think I'll go back to using toilet paper."
A Scotsman was playing golf with a church elder. On the last hole the Scotsman missed a six-inch putt which cost him the match but, out of deference to his playing partner's status, he said absolutely nothing. "That," said the elder, "was the most profane silence I have ever heard."
Why are Scotsmen so good at golf? They realise that the fewer times they hit the ball the longer it will last.

Source: http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.electricscotland.com%2Fhumour%2Fh3.htm&h=c5c2f

First Funny Post

2011-03-02T17:12:00.001-05:00

Here is the first funny post. Why funny? Because that is the mission of the blog :) To make YOU laugh.
After short surfing on YouTube, some really funny videos were found. Check the first four ones:

If you think women are good drivers... watch that and think again :)

In that video, the girls is asked What would she do to a the monster...
See the funny response from a three year old

A compilation of funny pictures shot during funny moments.

Most of them are taken during sports' games.

And the last but not least, a video showing how much we laugh water :)

These were only few of the thousands funny videos that can be found on the web. If you want to be more informed, connect here:

http://twitter.com/letslaughonline
http://www.myspace.com/letslaughonline
http://www.youtube.com/user/LetsLaughOnline

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lets-Laugh-Online/150413681685278

Legal notice: Lets Laugh Online does not own the videos, neither have them on any of our servers, neither have any copyrights over them.We just share their links found on other web sharing servers.

Welcome to the funniest place in internet!

2011-03-01T20:37:00.002-05:00

Here will be posted new and most important - funny material, gathered from the cloud.
The mission is to trigger you to laugh more and get entertained.
Supplying you with different funny videos, pictures, jokes, Lets Laugh Online will try to change your grey day and make you feel better!

Don't forget to stay tuned via our different social networking accounts:

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Have Fun! :)