Letters to Breathe

You are the spawn of satan

Anon — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 00:53:39 +0000

Dearest Cousin Jess,
I loathe you with everything that I am! You are evil. I remember when were kids playing out at grandmas house the rest of our cousins had to pick sides, yours, or mine. That’s crap. Secondly I will always hold the fact that you got me in trouble against you. You were the one that called names. I never called you a bitch! I do now though, with every chance I get. We were never friends, even in softball we were always rivals. Thanks for being such a loser though, at least I won 8 season championships. If you don’t get what you want the whole world is going to hear aout it, you are such a cry baby. Maybe if someone could actually stand being married to you for more than 6 months if you weren’t such a whore, and a bully. I hate you. Oh, and that stunt you pulled? The one where you dated the guy I have liked for 10 years? That was a good one. He dumped your sorry ass at the racetrack, and told you to fins your own way home. At least he learned the easy way, and idn’t even take the time to date you. All you are is trash. You don’t even qualify as trash, you’re scum. You need a serious reality check, and a cheeseburger. You look like a bag of bones. Men don’t like skeletons. Just throwing that out there. You are nasty, and rude, and whiny, and no one likes you so go fall in a hole and die. Please and Thank You.

To the person I thought loved me

Anon — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 00:53:16 +0000

I thought we loved each other but I feel like your intentions were not true all along. You used me, got what YOU wanted and then abandoned me. I really regret meeting you, I wish we never crossed paths. There are certain people we wish we never met in life and you just happen to fit the bill! That’s how I really feel about you at this point because I put up with all your BS. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!! I HATE what you did and continue to do. How can you go on like everything is fine????
Don’t you have a conscience???Like whats wrong with you???I leave revenge up to God, there will be justice.

To My Class of My Former School

Anon — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 00:53:13 +0000

Everytime I’ve done something great, all I can think is “If only those people could know about this”. I know it’s shallow, but I really want to gloat. From 6th grade to 10th grade, you guys made my life at school hell. When I had a class with none of my friends and only people that I couldn’t stand, I wanted to run away from that class everyday. It’s not just that you all were mean, it’s how you were mean. You said things about me as if I couldn’t hear you or thought they weren’t about me. If we were paired up by the teacher for a project, you didn’t make an attempt to hide your disgust.

I really don’t know what I could have done to make any of you like me. I wasn’t going to change my personality. You wouldn’t like me if I did anyway, I tried to change a few times and it backfired. I wasn’t rich like you guys, so I couldn’t have the best clothes or anything. Until 8th grade, my water was terrible. Our cold water was barely a stream so it hurt so much to take a shower, so I couldn’t take a shower every day or even every other day. During that time, I also got a really bad case of lice and just couldn’t get rid of it. My family tried every method possible. We tried special shampoos, putting mayonaise on my hair, cleaning everything in the house, bug bombs, and nothing worked. My lack of comfortable showers and baths also added to the lice problem. I assume you were lucky enough to have normal water temperature and to never get lice, so you wouldn’t know what that feels like.

The worst part of it all is, no one stood up for me. My friends let me know that they liked me, hated you, and it would be okay. My mom defended me once from one really bad time. But your friends and even the teachers turned a blind eye. They all knew what was going on. But did they do anything? Nope.

When I got together with my boyfriend, I posted a status about it and changed my relationship status to show all of you “Ha! I can get a boyfriend! Someone thinks I’m amazing and loves me! Ha! You didn’t so suck it!”. I want to show him off anytime I post a status about him. When I won awards in FBLA, I wanted to show it off to all of you to show that I don’t need to be an athlete or rich or popular to do great things. One day, when I’m rich and famous, I’ll make sure those years of bullying are in my autobiography.

I guess I should thank you for something. You gave me motivation to leave that hellhole and do things greater than you. But of course, being in a hellhole isn’t worth any kind of greatness to me.

To Kendra

Anon — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 00:53:00 +0000

Dear Kendra,
We were best friends in kindergarten. I don’t remember how we met, how we said goodbye, and a lot of the stuff we said in between. But I do remember, we got in an argument about numbers one day. You told me that your mom told you “Numbers never end”. I told you “Nuh uh! They have to end at some point!”. I realize now that I was so wrong. I wish I could take it back and apologize, even though it was so silly and you probably forgot about it years ago.

One day we realized that we lived across the road from each other, but I only got to go to your house once and you never got to come to my house. I met your brother, who I thought was a butthead. And before we could make other plans, your parents got divorced and you moved. I probably should’ve begged my mom to talk to your mom about letting me visit you at your new house and letting you stay the night at my house. I don’t know why I didn’t, or if I did and forgot. I wish we stayed friends.

We saw each other in the bathroom at Sears one day. Had an awkward “Hi, how are you?” moment. I wish that my last memory of you wasn’t that awkward and brief.

I was in 9th grade and heard that you had cancer. I was concerned, but I assumed you would be okay. Why wouldn’t you be okay? January 2nd 2011, you passed away. I wanted to come to the funeral, but I was so scared. I was scared that I would break down in hysterical sobbing. Or worse, I might not cry because we hadn’t been friends for over 10 years. I still want to visit your grave. I swear, I will when I can drive and have my own car.

It still blows my mind that someone my age died. My age. If I was 60 years older, it would be normal. But to die at 17, wow. I wish I could have been there for you. I wish I came to see you before it was too late. I wish I at least sent you a message on Facebook to tell you I missed our friendship and I was praying for you. I promise, I prayed for you everytime I went to church. My mom’s church had you on their prayer list and they prayed for you near the end and right after.

I feel better knowing that you had tons of friends who still think about you and miss you. It makes me smile to see all of your friends posting on your Facebook wall to say “Hey girl, I miss you so much. I know you’re watching over us right now”. I can tell by the posts you posted on Facebook and your About Me section that you were positive about getting better and going to Heaven if you didn’t make it.

Will you look on me sometime? I’m not expecting you to ask God to bless me with anything huge or save my life. I just want to know that you can finally keep in touch with me, even if it’s sort of one sided.

Maybe one day we’ll meet up in Heaven.

Wordless

Anon — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 02:14:47 +0000

How would you react if your bestfriend and ex-boyfriend of 4 years (who you just broke up with less than a month ago) went on a vacation and spent the weekend together?

Dear Giovani,

Anon — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 02:14:40 +0000

I miss you. More than anything.
I still wear the necklace you gave me, and I kiss it every once in a while, hoping you’ll feel something. And you’re still wearing my bracelet, I see. “I’ll never take it off” you promised. At least this is one promise that I know you will keep. My days are so very different now; Instead of chatting with you on the phone when you’re away or sending you silly pictures of odd things that occur in my life, I spend my days wanting to just lie down in the grass and cry. You still loved her, I understand. You hurt more and you broke her heart first, I understand that too. But that gives you no right to go and break mine. This is completely cliche, but I literally gave you my everything and you gave me absolutely nothing in return. Girls fall in love with you and you feel nothing after you’ve gotten bored of them. It’s wrong, and you know it. But tell me I’m different. You can’t still look at me with those desperate eyes and tell me you don’t still love me. There’s still something there and I’m not giving up. It’s not easy to forget about me like all the other girls, is it. You told me “I knew I wanted you from the very beginning. I didn’t know how I was going to get you, but I wanted you, and I was willing to do whatever it took to win your heart.” And you were completely willing to wait for sex after marriage, even though I knew your background with women. You were willing to wait on my behalf. You gave me a promise ring. I don’t remember any other girlfriends that you gave a promise ring to. Then again, I might be completely wrong. I must have meant something to you to get you out of your comfort zone like I did. Don’t throw us aside and act like our relationship didn’t mean something to you. My love for you is unconditional, and that love doesn’t come often. I’m still here and I’ll always be here for you.
Just try. For me.

Love, Priscila.

Letter to a 23 y.o PARASITIC Sales Lady in Makati

Anon — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 02:14:35 +0000

Yes this is for you – the one who works at SM’s Makati Rival department store, you who LIVES near Ermin Garcia, Cubao.

I will use my regular lexicon. I don’t care if you won’t understand some of the words I’ll use (though its honestly unintentional)

I’m still aghast at the thought that you’ve AGAIN managed to trick Jay into sending you OFF TO SCHOOL. WTF?! you’ve got the effin nerve. who do you think you are? It is not your boyfriend’s obligation to send you to school. YOU SHOULD ASK YOUR FAMILY TO DO IT FOR YOU.

You expect too much from life – life being FAIR and aware you ASK FOR WAY TOO MUCH is JUST- that it keeps on giving you HURDLES hence making your life a DEAD END. Read on and learn form Kathleen Pearson quote:

“The reality of our lives is there for a reason and when you try to force it to be different, you will suffer! How you react to your reality is what counts not that you are in it.”

You’re birth was a product of a sin. Born out of wedlock, just accept the life that you deserve. You don’t deserve more than what you’ve got now. Stop LEECHING ON JAY. Its hard enough for him to try finding a job (and take note it normally takes an average american a minimum of 2 jobs in order to GET BY and live a standard life)

And don’t expect you’ll get a chance to EARN A GREEN CARD – you’ll have a problem getting approved. Call it life’s KARMA. Don’t say I did not warn you. Your futile attempts will just leave you frustrated.

AND STOP MAKING HIM FEEL GUILTY FOR LEAVING YOU – AND DEMANDING THAT HE’LL GO BACK FOR YOU. LEAVE HIM ALONE. He should be far away from you FAR AWAY FROM YOUR LEECHING.. away from YOUR ALA NOKIA “USER FRIENDLY intentions. You DON’T LOVE HIM but rather YOU NEED HIM..you are just being SELFISH -YOUR LOVE DISGUISED AS A POTENT ATTEMPT TO TRICK HIM FOR YOU TO GET BY day-by-day, wherein fact YOU ARE JUST A GOLD DIGGING USER.. He’s just way too nice TO REFUSE – and UNFORTUNATELY you and your family (cousins rather) have dramatically TAKEN ADVANTAGED OF HIM. (Up until now I can’t believe people like you exists, who implore on others just to ensure you have food on your mess hall, and a roof above your heads.)

One more thing don’t you feel guilty that you’ve worsen the rift and had made the gap bigger between him and Tatay Raul? Don’t you even feel the slightest guilt? Oh btw I just remembered, call it KARMA, OR LIFE’S WAY OF BALANCE, rumor has it that the (expensive but not so good University in CAvite) that you intend to study at … is DOOMED FOR CLOSURE…

I knew YOU CHEATED on him with Michael. OH COME ON wag ka magmalinis.. So don’t you dare blackmail him on what he did… KARMA LANG SA YO UNG GINAWA nya.. YOU FRIGGIN DESERVE IT WH*RE!

THERE NUFF SAID… I’VE GOTTEN RID OF THIS ILL FEELINGS FOR GOOD.. I thank the opportunity that finally let all this negative emotions out of me – and grateful to anonymous letter publishing sites like this…

P.S Given the amount of thought I’ve put into this letter – this paints a picture of HOW I AM.. So I hope you realize that when I refuse to meet you – I ACTUALLY DID YOU FAVOR.. So you still wanted to meet? … be CAREFUL what you WISH FOR.. Cause you might just get what you don’t expect..

HEED EVERY WORD I’VE TYPED HERE. DON’T YOU DARE tell or SQUEAL TO JAY about this, because if you do… I will speak to Tatay – and you know that he’ll take my side, and you are AWARE he could HAVE YOU EVICTED from your current HOUSE since he knows your LAND LADY.. so DON’T PUSH ME..

To make sure I won’t complain to Tatay Raul of the incessant annoyance that you’ve caused me.

HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO: MAKE SURE JAY WILL STAY IN THE US, DON’T PLEAD FOR HIM TO GO BACK TO THE PHILIPPINES..and yes a break up is detrimental… you should initiate this tutal ANDYAN NAMAN SI MICHAEL mag-landian kayo ulit..

I don’t intend to get back together with him (one more thing I’m a Muslim – we can never get married), Also I can’t follow him there I don’t Have a US VISA .. ang sa akin lang IT’S ABOUT TIME MATAUHAN SIYA SA KATANGAHAN nYA..HAVE MERCY ON HIM (MAAWA KA SA KANIYA) AMBERLY.. (i find it pathetic that you even use a monicker tsk tsk – I know this isn’t your real name) (How dare you to have the nerve to demand that he send you to school) ANG KAPAL NANG MUKHA MONG ASAHAN SIYANG PAG-ARALIN ka. Perhaps it was HIS WORD he wanted to keep. BUT GIRL YOU SHOULD REFUSE, and you shouldn’t use this as LEVERAGE on why he can’t leave you.

YOU SHOULD WORK YOUR ASS OFF AND PUT YOURSELF TO SCHOOL – IF NOT LET YOUR COUSINS HELP YOU.. But don’t you date ASK HELP FROM YOU NON-RELATIVES as JAY SHOULD NOT BE OBLIGATED (pero wag kang humingi ng tulong sa di mo kadugo ISA PA DI OBLIGADO SI JAY).. MATUTO KA MAHIYA (I HOPE YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO BE ASHAMED).. My MBA tuition costs USD 40K that is equivalent to 2 million in our local currency, which I am still saving up for until now. Jay even volunteered to raise the funds with me – which I ADAMANTLY REFUSED.. coz its my OBLIGATION and RESPONSBILITY towards myself- not HIS.. SEE ITS POSSIBLE TO REFUSE ( PWEDENG TUMANGGI) – oh btw its different with your case… YOU WERE DEMANDING it from him Im not mistaken.. he did’nt volunteer – he was COERCED tricked by you.

WHAT I WILL DO: IF YOU DON’T FOLLOW 1. Consult Tatay and tell him THAT YOU HAVE ONCED TRICKED JAY INTO SENDING YOU TO SCHOOL. 2. Tell his MOM and AUNT Deehdi that he is actually working and trying to save NOT FOR HIMSELF BUT TO SEND YOU TO SCHOOL.. (and once Mama Chu and Aunt Deehdi finds out – they’ll ensure he won’t get a chance to keep in touch with you, and its possible they will not allow him to go back to PH)

this is just my course of action rather a reaction which you yourself asked for.. I WOULD NEVER INSTIGATE.. I JUST REPLIED TO YOUR COURSE OF ACTION.. NUFF SAID..

CATHARSIS finally….

dear g

Anon — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 02:13:52 +0000

im pretty sure you’re my soul mate. i love you so much that i feel like the air is being sucked out of me whenever i hear that you love someone else. i wish i could just lay next to you forever. so please please don’t decide to fall in love with any other person please please. my heart will break into a million pieces. and you know how you thought there was more to me and then found out that i was just as empty as you thought? well please don’t give up on me and don’t pity me, there IS more to me i promise. i love you so much it hurts. and i dont know how to get close to people so please understand that. and please love me anyway. i will do anything for you. please just love me because you’re my soul mate. and if you don’t choose me just like everyone never chooses me you’ll break my heart the hardest its been broken. one day i’ll work hard enough to become the most beautiful, most funny girl in school and i’ll be able to choose anyone i want. and then i’ll choose you.

To Shannon

Anon — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 15:37:54 +0000

Thank you, Shannon.
For some strange reason your smile always makes thing better for me.
I barely know you, we worked together for a bit, but I can’t really say I know you, and yet you’ve affected me in a way I didn’t think possible at the time.
I couldn’t get her out of my mind, all the good memories would rush in and I would miss her, almost tot he point where I would want to fight for again. Then all the bad comes in and I begin to feel resentment. I begin to hate myself, not her for all the things that went wrong, all the things I did, that I didn’t do. The betrayal that happened, a friend I was called brother, turned his back on the meaning of the word. Chivalry, honour, brotherhood; they were once connected with this friend, but no more. He has been forgiven, but I could not forget. Months went by and I still couldn’t forget.

And then you happened.

It wasn’t anything like love at first sight, no. I thought you were cute, but I didn’t have feelings for you right away. Then I got to know you a little better through work. Your smile brightened my day every time I saw you. Then I thought of her again and realized that this was the first time in weeks she came to mind. All I thought was, “I hope she’s doing well in her life now.”, and then thought of your smile and went to sleep.

Was I disappointed when you turned me down when I asked you out? Of course I was. Your reason was understandable and I was happy that this didn’t change anything at work or between us as friends.

And then the other girl came into my life. . .
This should never have happened. I should have known better.
The relationship was good for the first half. Then out of fear of losing someone again, after feeling like I should do this for her, I did something I thought I never would. . . Do I regret it? No. I can’t let myself, though for the longest time I hated myself for it, for allowing it to happen.
It changed nothing, it only made things worse.
She turned into this child, stuck mentally somewhere between being a fourteen-year-old and the twenty-ear-old she was. Being with her turned into a full time job. She required 110% of my attention and effort, and if I didn’t then I wasn’t a good boyfriend. I lost contact with some good friends, my school work was slipping, I could barely afford to live being with her. If I so much as said ‘hi’ to another female, even if it was a good friend, I was pretty much cheating on her. She was destroying me, and I let it happen because I felt she could improve herself and be the person she wanted to be.
Turns out she was already the person she wanted to be.
Immature, sitting down on facebook creeping people she hates watching family channel all day. Doing nothing. Constantly insulting me. Not letting me sleep, finding any excuse to keep me away from anything except her. Most of those cuts were her own doing. . . not mine like she convinced me. The longer I stayed the more I realized you were everything they said.

I began to hate myself again. All the mistakes. I began to just go through the motions of life. Eery once in a while wallowing in despair at the mistakes I made again, wishing I had done things differently.

It didn’t help when I bumped into the first girl, she’s pregnant again. We talked for a short while. I ended up dreaming about her. Now the memory of both these women haunted me.

And then you smiled at me. Like you always did. Just a nice, simple, friendly smile.

I know that your with someone, and honestly, I wish you all the best. He’s a lucky guy to have you.
Seeing that smile reminded me of the feelings you brought. I once again forgot about these bad memories, I stopped hating myself and my choices.

You’re my proof that all wounds heal. And that a simple smile can be the best part of someone’s day.

Thank you, Shannon. You’re a beautiful young woman, simply gorgeous.

This time I swear I won’t forget.

Dear The Only Exception

Anon — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 15:37:25 +0000

9 months. We were together for 9 months. Your senior year and my freshman year. I just got back from your graduation, where I sat with your older sister, her best friend, your little sister, and your mom and dad. Who were all wondering how I was doing. I had to lie through my teeth and say “I am good, I have been good, I am fine.” While I was sitting there, trying to not cry watching you graduate, knowing that this may be one of the last times I see you. You gave me a big hug after you graduated and it made me smile. I am glad we are friends. I was okay seeing you with Her for once. But I can’t help it. I still love you more than anything else.
If you want, I will still keep those promises about next year that I said I would. I love you still.