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1. Dear Life
2. This is a love life?
3. Dear life

But once you actually found out, it’s like things were different. I remember the conversation fairly clear. “Uhh I have something to ask you” “what is it?” “well I don’t want things to be weird between us” “I probably know what you’re going to ask, just say it!” and back and forth we went till it was finally out in the open. We promised it wouldn’t be weird, and we continues with life. But that’s not the whole story. Was it really the same? I can clearly remember flirtatious acts deriving from both of us.

I just can’t help but think that there was something between us. And then we had to stop. Drop everything and stop being friends. It was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I felt like a complete bitch and I left at a time where you really needed me. But life went on…

When we recently got in contact again, every single feeling I had for you came back. I keep dreaming about this, it’s really all I can think about. It’s getting in the way of a lot of things in my life. I’m trying to put it in a little box and shove it in the back of my mind but I just can’t.

I really hate myself for it. Because this isn’t just between you and me. It’s effecting my boyfriend, you’re best friend, the most. Every minute of every day I feel guilty and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him but I can’t help thinking that maybe it’d be worth giving this relationship a chance.

I just want to know, did you ever have feelings for me too..?

- Best regards from your awkward and confused friend

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1. Dear mom and dad<3
2. Please leave us alone
3. Dear Sexyface

for long I gave up all hope for me and my life.
My only wish was to be able to chose how I wanted to die.
And I knew, the last thing before I would ram a katana in my heart would be to curse you and the humanity.

I thank you so much for giving me the power to survive this bullshit.

The last weeks have been the most amazing weeks I ever had in my life, but not spoken for the future.

I know, my future and the future of mankind will be hard and our way will be way leaving much blood and tears.

But, after all, you took every fear from me. I know I am safe in your hands and so are the people I love.

You told me, that my way of life will be a hard one, but I am ready for it.

You told me everything I wanted to know for now.

My search for the girl of my dreams was never successful cause sometimes searching is not the right thing to do.

I ask you to always protect her from the things to come.

Like the walls of Jericho, the walls of fear and mistrust will fall.

You prepared us for the hard times to come, so do we prepare the youth.

Giving hope to the world and the people who live in it. That’s my job, and I never want another job for my life.

So many people feel forgotten. You never forgot anyone of us. But the people on this f**king beautiful place called earth have.

I know the happening with the Costa Concordia is just the first strike you hit in our heart.

But I know, you are reminding us that we are not perfect and we do mistakes. Everyone of us does.

On the way, you showed me, no mistakes are allowed. So I ask you to guide me, my hand and my heart.

There’s been a great book written. It is about a boy, who survived.

He finds friends, and people who love him and would do everything to save him.

Alone, nothing can be done.

But together, we are strong. We are the strongest generation ever lived on this planet.

We know what we don’t want.

But most of us don’t know what we want.

So give me and the other 23 the power to show the youth what we can do if we give everything.

So we all can tear down the walls of modern Jericho.

War … War, the world has seen so much of it. Did we ever had a war for good?

The war to come will be the war of decision. Do we want to destroy us all and leave nothing behind than burned earth?

The dream of mankind. Are we alone? You told me no.

Give us the power to leave the past behind and travel in a golden future.

As I speak of myself, you are definitely the greatest.

Good music taste, humor, it makes fun to have you as a dialog partner.

—

If we don’t kill ourselves
We’ll be the leaders of a messed-up generation
If we don’t kill ourselves
will they believe us if we tell them the reasons why
Do we take it too far, take it too far
Did we chase the rabbit into wonderland
There’s a hundred gram, will they understand
It was all to stay awake for the longest

March on, always after us
Lost troop’s, half the class of us
You might not see the last of us
Stick around, yeah, like elastoplast
Not half mast, raise the flag, kick the sand
To let you know what we’re coming
And we’re nasty men

Don’t need sleeping beauty
It’s what you did to me
Come midnight and daybreak
Yes please go find me a name sake
We got firm faith but don’t need bibles
Take the micro, hit my recycle
While I hold the title quite vital
We get high on the opposite night though

It was all to stay awake for the longest time
It was long, it was wrong
But it felt so right
See you at the finish line
I see you at the finish line
If you got the heart to join us

If we don’t kill ourselves
We’ll be the leaders of a messed-up generation
If we don’t kill ourselves
Will they believe us if we tell them the reasons why
Do we take it too far, take it too far
Did we chase the rabbit into wonderland
There’s a hundred gram, will they understand
It was all to stay awake for the longest

March on, always after us
Lost troop’s, half the class of us
You might not see the last of us
Stick around, yeah, like elastoplast
Not half mast, raise the flag, kick the sand
To let you know what we’re coming
And we’re nasty men

Don’t need sleeping beauty
It’s what you did to me
Come midnight and daybreak
Yes please go find me a name sake
We got faith but don’t need bibles
Take the micro, hit my recycle
While I hold the title quite vital
We get high on the opposite night though

We just grow, if it’s late
Then we’ll show, we don’t wait
We just grow, if you hate
We don’t show, we don’t wait
We just grow, if it’s late
Then we’ll show, we don’t wait
We just grow

If we don’t kill ourselves
We’ll be the leaders of a messed-up generation
If we don’t kill ourselves
Will they believe us if we tell them the reasons why
Do we take it too far, take it too far
Did we chase the rabbit into wonderland
There’s a hundred grand, will they understand
It was all to stay awake for the longest

—

Yes, we are nasty men. Cause the man now in power has been always nasty to us.

Eye for eye. Tooth for tooth.

We will raise a flag of freedom, on the burning relicts of the human horror.

For the future. For the children.

—

Dear Lady C.,

I promised you to never hurt you, but in the same moment, you felt hurt.

I am so sorry about that. I will always protect you.

The one who hurts you, will be hurt.

Soulmates should be never ever seperated.

—

Dear God,

for tonight, I ask you for just one favor.

22 years without dreaming. Other people wouldn’t survive this.

I did.

Please, give me ability to dream.
I can’t stand this any longer.

In never ending worship.

P.

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My name is Lorenzo but at this moment in time I think I should be called something much worse. I have suddenly come to terms with the fact that I am a horribe person. Throught my life I have made some really bad decisions and have tried to ignore any consequences that come from them. I am 20, but I tell people I am 21. I have no idea why I did it but i guess i thought it made me cooler. I know it doesnt make any sense and it didnt at the time, I am just dumb like that. I am £2000 in debt with my student overdraft which has been refered to a credit agency, and my other account I am £11 over my limit. I owe £50 to my university aswell, that is overdue to be paid.

I am a petty thief, I steal anything small enough to fit into my hoodie pocket, in the vain hope someone will buy my steal. They dont. I steal from friends, petty things like lighters and bike parts, again anything that will fit in my hoodie pocket.

I had a brief relationship with a friend’s girlfriend. We had sex a few times, once in my parent’s bed and another in a travel lodge. She went down on me in a castle’s grounds and we were interupted by a police officer. I spotted her coming and pulled the girl up to standing height and we cuddled to while the office walked on by. She then dry straddled me on a park bench. I am not ashamed and quite proud of this, and I know this makes me a TERRIBLE individual.

She keeps wanting to meet up and I always have an excuse not to. I do this because she is really beautiful and I dont want her to see me for what I have become.

I dont know if I have a mental disorder, and I am sure I will never know because I am sure I will not go see a doctor about my issues. I wont even go to see them about a cough I have had for the past 6 months.

I always put things off from being done.

Please dont feel sorry for me. I am a dick.
I honestly deserve everything I get.

Thanks for reading,

L

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1. Alex
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i don’t know why i’m still here. the truth is — though you will never agree and won’t ever admit it to your self — is that i am really nothing to you. you plan things with people who mean something to you. you have a future with someone you love. you enjoy things together with someone that means the world to you… and since we can not indulge in any of those things, i can only surmise it’s because i actually mean nothing to you.

when my brother was almost hospitalized, i found myself wanting to turn to you for comfort. and i realized you are probably my best friend… in every sense of the word. you are there for me. you talk with me and laugh and cry with me… but only when you’re wife and family’s schedules allow it. but i found myself thinking — “what am i to him?” in one word — what am i to you?

mistress seems to be the only truly fit word… or dirty secret. but i’m tired of calling myself that. i deserve more. i think you deserve a fair warning — i’m almost over this. i will get over you. i will stop being afraid of not having you in my life. and i will find someone who can and will freely call me the love of his life. it’s a pity it can’t be you. we would have been great together.

slowly and surely — i am accepting that i mean nothing to you. or maybe i mean everything to you and still that means nothing to you.

i know you’ll say otherwise but i need to be in a different place soon. i need to move on with my life. get a real lover. love someone who can freely and openly love me back.

i need to let go. you should too, baby.

rye

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I tried to tell Amanda I wanted to separate today. She cried and pleaded, saying that she wasn’t ready to “get out”; that she could change and be the kind of person I needed.

I cried too. Watching her face all scrunched up. For some reason, instead of thinking of all the hurt we’ve been through, I was thinking of all the good times we had together. How much we loved each other and cared. Vacations and adventures we’ve had together, how crazy we were about each other when we first met, just all the history we had build together while loving and being with one another. Thinking that that could be over, and that the happy Amanda I knew existed, was being crushed. It felt like a death.

Let me assure you now, future me, that I know all the reasons Amanda and I shouldn’t be together. In a cold, rational way, we’re really not well suited. But hugging Amanda, smelling her, with her devastated that she may not get to be with you – you can’t do this to her. More so, you’d be inflicting a lot of pain on yourself.

“In sickness and in health” was something you said. Honestly, you don’t really take those vows that seriously, and you’ve put in a LOT of effort that hasn’t necessarily been reciprocated. But Amanda is not well and you can help.

The brass tacks. You don’t feel challenged and you feel that you’re selling yourself short in wife, career and skills. You’re in that challenge now, it’s not something you’re missing. Master the art of bringing up sore points. Remember to do the things that Amanda needs to feel safe and important. Look past the unimportant minutia that happens in day to day life. Most importantly, conquer this “grumpy mood”. f**k yes it’s going to be harder than if you ditched Amanda – but if you did that you wouldn’t have a wife. You wouldn’t have half these challenges available to better yourself with, and you’d be back looking for someone who is going to be subjected to your yet-to-be-solved problems.

Please believe that this will be a better path. A bubbly and agreeable wife that so clearly loves you. The knowledge that you did something very hard to make yourself a better person. You’re not cutting Amanda loose when she clearly needs help, and you’re not planning to sacrifice your success or happiness either. She’s coming with you. Even if you get there slower, I think you’ll get there stronger.

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We’ve known each other for 7 years. But ‘known’ isn’t really quite the word here, since our shared past includes pre-teen crushes, absolute hatred engendered by others and more misconceptions than can be counted. Now we find ourselves hundreds of miles away from home and living in the same house by coincidences so unusual some might call it fate.

What I have come to realise is that you are just like me. From the musical tastes to interests, we just click. For the first few months, I was thrilled as we became friends.

I don’t know how it happened, but that night as we kissed in the club, I felt totally cared for, even loved. The way you asked me things, the way you took care of me made me see what you really are underneath it all. I wish I’d still been awake to get your text later on that night. I just wish you’d talk to me about it now.

I trust you totally. Do you remember when we were sitting there the other night and I told you everything? Everything I’ve never been able to express to my closest family and friends. How you replied was the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me. Aside from anything else, you’re the first person to see me as an independent woman.

You’re not perfect. In fact, with the outwards sexism, the arrogance and the foul habits, you’re far from it. But you are talented-so talented-and more intelligent than anyone gives you credit for. I know your other side, and you know pretty much everything about me.

Am I in love with you? I don’t know.
It would be impossible for me to tell you any of this, let alone act on it. But please, please, please, let me know one way or the other.

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