Letters To Mama

Ate Let, Koya Boy. Edgar, and my interview

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:48:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Koya Boy already left for Guam last Sunday, while Ate Let went home for Canada last night.

Edgar is sick again. He said he is having difficulty of breathing. He said, he is ready to go to school tomorrow. I hope he'll be okay Mama.

Tomorrow, I'll have another job interview in Clark Mama. I really don't know what my chances, or if I even want to get hired. But they said I should find real work. I guess, I have to think of the children's sake Mama. So wish me luck.

Goodnight Mama. I hope I'll see you in my dreams.

I miss you Mama. I love you.

Daddy

Please hold my hand...

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:06:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Please hold my hand... I need to Mama... please...

Finding work for me

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:53:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Dadz has been busy lately contacting his friends. He's trying to find work for me Mama. He is calling all his friends and former co-workers from CDC asking them to help me. As you know, last year, the person they called to help me did nothing Mama. Ironically, they helped him then when he was needing work.

Anyway, I'm really not sure if I could get hired. I'm 41 now, and I was having a hard time when I was even younger. They will leave on Tuesday, so all Dadz can do now is asked his friends.

I don't know if I won't be given that overqualified/over-age treatment again Mama. I'm not even sure if I want to work again, or even apply for work again.

They said I need to work. Perhaps they know better than me Mama. I don't know.

Take care of yourself now Mama. I will be with you soon.

I miss you Mama. I love you.

Daddy

Tatay was finally laid to rest

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:48:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

I was planning to write about this last night, I don't know why, but I haven't gotten into it. I just want to tell you Mama that Tatay was finally laid to rest yesterday. But I'm sure you may already know it by now.

Kuya Boy will be staying here until Tatay's 9th day, and he'll fly back the next day. Ate Let and Dadz, I believe will flying on the following day after that.

Edgar and Angel are back to school now. Ralph won't be having his class until Monday. He's sick now Mama, he has fever. I don't know how he got it, he was just fine yesterday before we left home for the burial. Anyway, I've already given him medicine Mama. But please, help me take care of Ralph, Mama.

That's about it for now Mama. Please take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama. I love you.

Daddy

Just an update

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 00:19:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Today is the third day of Tatay's wake. Kuya Boy will arriving this morning too. The interment will on Tuesday Mama, Edgar might not be able to join us then because they will resume classes on that day.

Ralph has been staying overnight at the wake for two days now Mama. He's on his way home now.

I really don't know what to say right now Mama. Please do take care yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Tatay passed away...

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:22:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Tatay passed away at around 2 a.m. this morning. But I guess you already know that Mama, he's with there together with you now.

Take care Mama.

I love you.

I miss you.

Daddy

Tatay is still in the ICU

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:28:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Tatay is still in the ICU, and still unconscious. From what I saw yesterday, I think he's getting worse Mama. I don't want to go to the hospital anymore. I don't want to see him suffering.

Until now, we still don't know what will happen Mama. I'm not sure what to expect.

That's all I can say now Mama. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama. I love you.

Daddy

Tatay was transferred to the ICU

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 12:53:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

When I went to the hospital this afternoon, I saw that they were taking Tatay out of his room. He was transferred to the ICU Mama. He was really pale and weak, he wasn't conscious. I hope I am wrong that he is now surviving because of the life support system - the oxygen and the GNT placed on him.

Ate Let came at the hospital at around 4 pm and only have to visit Tatay in the ICU. I was really hoping that at least she would find him in the room, to make her travel worth.

I'm worried about Tatay, I hope she gets through Mama. I also pray that Nanay would be strong.

That will be all for now Mama, just updating on what happened today. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama. I love you.

Daddy

So much to tell

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:38:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Sorry for not writing again for quite a while. Lots of things have happened and I hope I can tell them all to you Mama. Ate Let is coming home, she actually arrived already, we're just waiting for her to come to the house. She'll be staying here Mama, that's why we were busy cleaning the house.

Unfortunately, before she arrived, Tatay was confined again yesterday. He's the reason why Ate Let wants to come home, to see Tatay. Now, she'll have to see him in the hospital. I was really hoping that it won't be the case, I was even telling Tatay that Ate Let will take her to Parañaque because he wants to go there.

Tatay is already weak Mama. The doctor wants to insert a tube in his nostrils because he's not taking any food.

But before that Mama, Edgar went home one day telling me he was picked as one of the school's players for sepak takraw in the public meet. He just doesn't know when. He was training hard for that Mama. Remember what I told you about his intrams experience? Because they lost, he worked even harder just to be able to get into the team.

Unfortunately, one day he came home telling me that his left arm was in pain. He slipped while going up the stairs in school and he had a bad fall. We wrapped in bandage and used the hand-sling support that Ralph used before. He was complaining for almost a week Mama. I thought he would need to be brought to the orthopedic. But he's fine now Mama, his arm is okay now.

Angel, on the other hand, has been going home alone during their exam. Because we were busy cleaning here, I told her if she wants to go home alone and she said yes immediately. But on the last day, she called and asked me to pick her up because her classmate left her. We were laughing while we were going home Mama, because she found out she really cannot go home alone.

I guess it's already a long letter Mama. I hope I didn't bore you with all these news. Oh, by the way, I don't have a job now. At least temporarily, I hope. The site I've been writing to is migrating to a new host, and what perfect timing! It's Ralph's enrollment for the 2nd semester! Oh well, I've been provided with before, I hope I can come up with something this time.

Really, that will be all Mama. You can rest now. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Special breakfast

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 00:16:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Today I prepared a special breakfast for the kids. Well, it was not really special Mama, it was only pandesal dipped in egg and then fried. I only said special because it was requested. Who else could have requested it? You're right Mama, it was Edgar. Funny, I even have to cook a second batch because the first batch, 20+ pieces, wasn't enough for the kids.

You know Mama, something funny happened to me last night. After mass here in Marisol, I gave a copy of the book to the priest (Among Sol), I just thought he could appreciate it and might even use some of the stories in his homilies. But I was surprised because he asked me to sign it when he learned I was one of the author. I didn't know what to write Mama, the kids were laughing at me because I was asking them what, and where in the book, should I write. I don't think I'll get used to that Mama. I hope nothing of that nature would happened again, else I might faint.

Still working hard Mama, hoping to earn enough for Ralph's enrollment. Although I might resort to borrowing for a again because there isn't enough time (and opportunities) to raise the amount. Maybe things will pick up soon.

I've said a mouthful Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Kid's exam and some updates

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:22:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Next week will be the kid's exam before they start their one week semestral break. Edgar is serious in honing his sepak takraw skills, he wants to play in the public meet Mama. Angel's script was presented in school this Friday, she also directed the presentation. It wasn't much Mama, because of lack of time and cooperation, but her teacher said her storyline was good.

Although she disappointed me again today Mama. I won't go into the details, I'm sure you've seen it all. I hope it's all part of our growing up Mama.

Last Wednesday, I got dizzy after getting angry at the kids. I tend to lose my cool lately again Mama. I am shouting more often again, and it doesn't feel good. I wish I could get a hold of myself, because I've been feeling a lot in my body lately Mama.

Anyway, your birthday's almost here Mama. We are going to celebrate it Mama. And I'm going to cook for you to make your birthday a happy one.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

I have a book now

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 16:54:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

The book is out. The one that I told you long time ago... a book where I am one of the featured author. I am now in a book Mama! Aren't you proud of me? I hope you are Mama. I wish I could share with you the excitement I am feeling right now in this book.

If only this one came while you were still here Mama... if only...

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.

Daddy

Edgar's intrams experience

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 17:01:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Edgar came home early last Friday from school. It was their intrams, and like I told you before, he played in the sepak takraw. I asked him how was the game, he said they got third place. Well, at least they didn't get fourth which is the last. He said he'll be playing again next year and he'll make sure they'll win.

How are you Mama? You're birthday is next month. What do you want us to do on your birthday?

Tomorrow is the fiesta in Angeles City, I don't know why, but I told the kids that I would let them go to their Apo if they want to. I even told them I will accompany them. I hope I made the right decision Mama.

I really don't know what to say here Mama. I wish I was really talking to you. I miss you Mama.

Take care of yourself.

I love you.

Daddy

Edgar is an athlete now

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 16:35:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Just want to tell you that our son Edgar Allan is now an athlete. He is into sepaktakraw. I don't know how he got interested, but he sure looks happy and excited that he is a player now Mama. Tomorrow will be their intrams and he is excited to compete. I hope he wins Mama.

That's all I want to tell Mama. Still not feeling well, although a lot better than before.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you Mama.

Daddy

P.S. Will you make me up with a kiss tomorrow, Mama?

thanks

Mama, please come

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:25:00 +0000

I don't feel well Mama, please come

Angel wants to have bangs

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 00:22:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Angel have been bugging me lately, asking me if she could have bangs. I told her it's up to her, just be sure it's what she wants. The last time Mama, when she felt her hair was already long, she had it cut. When it was short, she said she wanted it long better.

How I wish she could discuss this things with you Mama. You would know better how to handle it. If only she still have you with her.

I think I should stop now Mama, before I go anywhere else. Take care of yourself Mama. I really miss you.

I love you Mama.

Daddy

Angel said sorry

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:59:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Finally! Angel said sorry as I scolded her this afternoon. She came home at around 6 PM Mama. I did not pick her up from school because she said they'll go to her classmate's house to practice their dance. I allowed her Mama because she said she'll be going home at around 4 PM.

Unfortunately, she wasn't home by 4. It was getting late and I was worried Mama, until finally she arrived at 6 PM. I talked to her and asked her why she was late. I was worried because there's a typhoon coming, and she, the smallest one wasn't home yet.

She said she was late because of the traffic, and that they ate at her classmate's house that's why they didn't leave early. I was mad. I just asked her to dress so we can have our dinner.

Afterwards, she came back to me Mama and said "sorry." She explained that she was really late because of the traffic. I believed her because it was raining. I was just happy that she finally said sorry Mama.

That's all for now Mama, I feel sleepy already. Take care of yourself Mama.

I miss you.

I love you.

Daddy

I miss you Mama

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 01:12:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Hello. Are you surprised you're getting more letters from me lately? Maybe it's because I am in front of the computer most of the time now Mama, trying to write as much as I can so I can earn enough for the kids... and also to keep myself busy.

I wish I was talking as often like this with you when you were still here Mama, instead of just worrying then how you were feeling or where we're going to get the money for your next dialysis.

But of course, there's really nothing we can do now. I can only reach you through this blog... and I can only believe that you are reading my letters... really.

I miss you Mama. I don't say it as often lately, but I do, I really miss you. Every success, every failures, every good news or bad news, every jokes that I hear, I was hoping that I can share them all with you.

Why do we have to be this way Mama? We were kind and obedient, we did everything that we think was right, we even served in the church... and this is the reward that we got?

I'm sorry Mama, I know I really should not be talking like this anymore, but I just have to let it out of my system. I'm really sorry.

Going back to work now Mama, excuse this little episode. I'll avoid these emotions as much as I can. Take care of yourself Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Aren't you proud of me?

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:35:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

I did it! I was able to raise the money for Angel's tuition fee for the 2nd grading period. Aren't you proud of me, Mama? I just need to work some more now so I can earn excess money for our daily expenses as well as other debts.

After that, I'll be working again for Ralph's enrollment which will be due perhaps mid or last week of October. I don't want to ask for more help from Ate Let Mama, I want to earn the money for their tuition fee by myself. It's hard because there aren't too many writing opportunities lately. I hope it gets better soon.

I can say we are lucky Mama, because we were spared from the damage brought by Ondoy, unfortunately there are so many who were affected by it. I was even surprised that there was also a landslide in Arayat and families were affected. Help me pray for them Mama.

Will be gathering some of our old clothes and see where I can bring them. I know, Angel's school would also have campaign drive for the victims. I'd like to donate some more Mama, so I'm working for it too.

That's all for now Mama. Don't worry about us, we're safe. Do take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Strong winds last night

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 20:43:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

I was not able to work yesterday, we don't have power from 3PM until evening. The wind was so strong Mama, I'm just glad the kids were all here safe otherwise I would be sick just worrying about them.

The power came back at around 11PM, but by that time I was already sleepy to do anything Mama. So I decided to start early today. I hope I can do more so I can make up for the lost opportunities yesterday. Hopefully, the weather would be normal today Mama.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. Please continue watching the kids especially when they're not with me.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

I scolded Angel the other day

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 03:43:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

I meant to write this to you last Wednesday. I scolded Angel on that day after we arrived home from school. She irritated me Mama with her inconsistent answers, she was lying to me and she made me look like I'm dumb.

What's worse Mama, is that all throughout, she wasn't remorseful, even defending herself. Of course, she never said sorry Mama. I really don't know how to correct that.

That's all I can say now Mama. Please pray for me, that I won't be losing my eyesight anytime soon. I can't see well anymore Mama, but there's nothing I can do, my work is on the Internet.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.

Daddy

Ralph's finals

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:51:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Yesterday, I was able to pay Ralph's tuition fee for the Finals, although I wasn't really proud of it this time Mama because I asked for financial assistance from Ate Let. Ralph and Angel's tuition are due at almost the same time, and I can't raise enough for both of them. Actually, I still don't have enough for Angel's tuition fee Mama, but I'm working on it. It will due next week.

Last Saturday, we went out to watch the free concert at Nepo Quadrangle Mama. I wanted the kids to enjoy, I know they will like because they like all the bands who'll be performing. Unfortunately, there was rain and we haven't been able to watch it well. I was also disappointed Mama, because they sell liquors to minors, which was required to get a ticket.

Anyway, it's almost Christmas Mama and I'm excited for the kids. But before that, it'll your birthday first. Of course, we're going to celebrate it like we did last year Mama. I'm still thinking what to do.

That'll all for now Mama. Please take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

How are you?

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:01:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

I can't believe I haven't written anything to you for quite some time now. I'm sorry about that Mama. I just don't have anything to write and I don't want to bore you. I've been focusing on my 'work' now Mama, Ralph's Finals and Angel's 2nd grading period are coming soon and at almost the same time at that. That's why I have to work hard.

I'm getting always sleepy again lately Mama, I hope there's nothing wrong with me. Sometimes I push myself to work so I could earn more. I'm talking paracetamol like I'm taking candy Mama. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.

Anyway, like I said, I haven't much to say except that I miss you Mama. I wish I can be with you. Take of yourself.

I love you Mama.

Daddy

Ralph's birthday and Angel will be going home alone today

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 01:46:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Ralph went home at past midnight yesterday. I just let him be, it was his birthday. He went out with some of his classmates. He told me they drank Red Horse because somebody offered to treat them. They have only met the guy at the place where they went, I haven't asked him where it was yet. I'm just glad he was able to go home safe. At least he was able to celebrate his birthday.

Angel will be going home at 2PM today. She asked me not to pick her up from school today because she'll be going home with her friend Carmela. She lives just 2 blocks aways from us Mama, so I allowed her. I told her to be careful.

I always feel sleepy again lately Mama. I don't why. This has stopped a few days ago, and now it's coming back. I hope it's nothing serious.

Take care of yourself Mama. That will be all for now.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

It's almost Ralph's birthday...

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 14:32:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

In less than 2 hours Ralph will be 17. He is still awake, he said he'll wait for his birthday. He is now playing with his new cell phone. I bought him a new cell phone for his birthday gift this afternoon Mama. All of us went to SM this afternoon so we can buy the cell phone and to have a little celebration for his birthday.

I know, we could have used the money for other things, but if I didn't buy him now I may never get to buy him anymore. Besides, I've really worked hard for those money Mama, so I can buy him a new cell phone. His old unit is already malfunctioning. I just hope he takes care of it Mama.

We were able to have a simple dinner at a fastfood before we left. Practically, we just roamed around the mall. Aside from buying the new cell phone and eating, we really didn't do anything else Mama. That's only as far as our money can take us. I hope the kids can appreciate it. How I wish you could be with us Mama.

That's all for now Mama. I haven't written anything yet. I don't know if I can still write now, it's already 10:40 PM and my eyes are almost closing. Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.

Daddy