Letters To Mama

Friday anxiety

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Fri, 26 Jun 2026 08:56:44 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's almost 5 p.m., I'll be waking Angel up in a while so she can prepare for work. Although I'm not sure if she's okay. Earlier she sent a message while I was work that she's not feeling well, Mama. She said she'll take a nap and see if she'll feel better later. I hope she is, so she can complete the whole week, Mama.

Edgar just arrived home from work. He is the one preparing the our dinner, as well as Angel's packed 'lunch' for work. Their lunch is around 11 p.m., though.

I'm having anxiety again, Mama. It's Friday, aside from Angel's condition I'm worried again about the restobar beside us. I hope there won't be any problem tonight.

I'll be reporting the house rent balance again by the end of month, Mama. I am worried because I have so many advances that I might not be able to pay off. Ate Let will get mad at me again. I got caught up again in expenses, Mama. And it seems worse this time. Angel has had a lot of check ups, laboratories, and consultations. Aside from other indulgences to make her feel better. I'm sorry, Mama. I thought things will get better for us financially. I might resort to lenders just to cover up for my advances, Mama.

I guess that'll be all for now. I'm sorry for the problems, Mama.

I wish you were here.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Father's Day celebration and my quarterly check up

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Mon, 22 Jun 2026 13:56:02 +0000

Dear Mama,

Yesterday, our children and I celebrated Father's Day. Well, sort of. We went to Marquee Mall yesterday, Mama. There wasn't really much too see there, except for a car show. What was interesting, Mama was that one of the cars there has a plate number NEM 9999, I forgot the numbers so I just wrote 9s here haha... But the letters spelled NEM, Mama! It was your nickname! It felt like you were with us yesterday :)

Then we had our dinner, which was of course courtesy of Ralph, Mama. There was too many pieces of chicken wings and potato rings that we had to take home what we can't finish, Mama. But it was delicious and we had our fill.

Afterwards, we went to Infinity, Mama because there was an event there and our grandchildren from our nephews was one of the stalls there. We bought drinks to support them. Edgar also bought me a ballcap from the stalls there, Mama. Then we went home, although Ralph had a hard time booking a Grab car. It took him almost 30 minutes, I think.

I did not work today. I took my birthday leave before it gets forfeited. It was supposed to be taken on birth month, but since there were too many holidays in May, I asked if I can take it in June, instead and it was approved. To make the day useful, I used my leave to visit my doctor this afternoon for my quarterly check up. Of course, I took my lab test results, Mama.

My doctor said my lab test results were okay, and my cholesterol level is ideal, not just within the safe range, but it is ideal said my doctor. Of course, I still have to continue maintenance medicines, and see him again after 3 months. Good thing my consultation of covered by my HMO, Mama.

Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. I'm just waiting for Ralph to leave for work before I can go sleep, Mama.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Father's Day tomorrow

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sat, 20 Jun 2026 13:17:24 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's Saturday night, only Edgar and I are at home. Ralph attended another quiz night event, and Angel is out with her co-workers. She is better now, Mama. She has completed her antibiotics. Hopefully she won't get sick again. They are still on graveyard shift.

I got my lab results this morning, Mama. It's time again for my quarterly check up with my doctor. I will go to the doctor on Monday. I'm thankful my lab test results are okay, Mama. At least I think they're okay because they are all still within the safe range, Mama. Unless my doctor sees something that I don't know. I wish there'll be less medicines to take. I'm tired of these medications and check up, Mama.

Tomorrow is Father's Day again, Mama. After Christmas, it's my least favorite occasion because it reminds me of how big a failure I am as a father. I'm sorry, Mama.

Anyway, that's all for now. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Angel did not work tonight

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 11:52:28 +0000

Dear Mama,

Angel did not work tonight. She's sleeping right now. We already had our dinner, Mama. Edgar just arrived home. He had dinner outside. Probably it's related to his financial advisor hustle. Ralph is also sleeping. I will wake him up at 9 p.m., Mama so, he can get ready for work.

Angel is still sick, Mama. That's why she did not work. It's better that she rest for now, instead of having an on-and-off fever. She'll take her antibiotic later at 10 p.m. Please make her well, Mama. She wanted to work, but her body needs to rest. I hope it won't affect her status in his company. She really wanted that job, Mama.

That's all for now, Mama. Please hold my hands. I need you, Mama.

I miss you.

I love you.

Daddy

Sunday update

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 14 Jun 2026 12:28:20 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's another Sunday night, we just had our dinner. We did not go out today, Mama. We were supposed to, but Angel wasn't feeling well, so we just stayed at home. She's taking antibiotics again, Mama. Looks like her tonsils are again swelling which was causing her pain and fever. The antibiotics was prescribed by the doctor in their office, Mama. She was advised to see an EENT, which she did yesterday but the doctor was not around. She'll go back to the EENT next week, Mama.

We don't have work tomorrow, Mama. It's a local holiday in Pampanga because it's the anniversary of the Pinatubo eruption. Edgar will work, though. They'll be operating in skeletal force and he's one of those who were picked to work. Ralph and Angel will also work tomorrow, Mama because their companies are following U.S. holidays.

Nothing much is happening, Mama. It's June and it's time again for my quarterly check up with my doctor. It's getting tiresome, Mama. I am supposed to get my blood extraction again for the FBS and other laboratory tests that I need to bring to the doctor. I'm getting tired of this routine.

Anyway, that's all for now, Mama. I wish to see you soon. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Update on Angel

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Wed, 10 Jun 2026 13:10:19 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's 9 p.m., Wednesday and Ralph is getting ready to go to work. Angel left earlier before 7 p.m., Mama. She's still not feeling well, but she's working because she can't afford to be absent since she's still a probationary and they are having their training, Mama. But she said she's feeling better when she left. Hopefully she'll really get well, Mama.

I'll be waiting for Ralph to leave for work before I rest, because I need to lock the house. But I am already sleepy, Mama. He'll be leaving around 10 p.m. So, I still have to wait for about an hour.

I really don't know what to say here. I just want to update you on Angel, Mama. Edgar is already in his room and resting. I guess, I should end my letter for now before I start whining again.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Angel's first night shift

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Mon, 08 Jun 2026 23:08:03 +0000

Dear Mama,

I am already in the office now. Angel came home before Edgar and I left work today, Mama. She came from her first night shift duty. She wasn't feeling well, Mama. She was complaining about her throat and she has slight fever. Although, she said yesterday she was not feeling well during day but she said she was okay to work. She said she'll work again tonight, Mama.

I'm worried. Please make her well, Mama.

I'm sorry, I'm asking you again.

Daddy

Sunday night

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 07 Jun 2026 12:27:34 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's Sunday night, and we just had our dinner. Edgar cooked spaghetti for our dinner tonight, Mama. He also prepared salad to pair with the spaghetti. Both were delicious, Mama. He is really getting good in the kitchen.

It's back to work tomorrow again, and it's also the first day of school, Mama. I'm sure there'll be heavy traffic tomorrow. It's also Angel's first day on the graveyard shift, Mama. Although she'll be leaving earlier than Ralph. Her shift starts at 8 p.m. while Ralph's starts at 10 p.m.

I'm worried about my job security, Mama. I am not yet ready to retire. I don't have any savings, and I don't want to be a burden to our children. But I'm worried about our company. Our boss has been focusing too much on AI lately. I'm praying it won't jeopardize our job.

Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. I might sleep early tonight. I hope I can see you in my dream.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

It's Friday night again

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Fri, 05 Jun 2026 10:22:42 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's past 6 p.m. and Ralph just left. He left early today, Mama. His shift won't start until 10 p.m. He must be meeting some of his friends again. It's just Edgar and I at the house now. Angel won't be out until 7 p.m. and I'm not sure if she'll go home straight tonight. It's their last day of day shift, Mama.

It's Friday night again, and they will have singers at the grill house beside us, Mama. I hope that just like in previous weekends, they are not loud. I'm glad they did something to minimize the noise, Mama. Although I still hear them, and I have to control my anxiety because they are not as loud as the previous owners.

I've been having an on-and-off fever, Mama. I'm not even sure if I'm really sick or it's just psychological because of this anxiety I've been having every time I am at home.

I'm sorry, Mama. I wish you were here.

Daddy

On sick leave today

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Tue, 02 Jun 2026 03:21:59 +0000

Dear Mama,

I did not go to work today, I took a sick leave today, Mama. I was actually feeling better earlier, but now I don't know. My back hurts, I feel weak, and I feel anxious, Mama.

I am taking paracetamol. I guess the effect of the one I took earlier is already fading, Mama. If that's even the term for it. You know what I mean.

I want to sleep, but I can't. I'm waiting for the garbage truck, Mama. Although I am not sure if they will come today. It's more than 2 weeks that our garbage have not been collected. Ralph and Angel must have been sleeping when they came previously. The garbage truck do not even knock on the houses, they just pass through. You'll be able to give your garbage only when you actually caught them coming. Otherwise, they will just pass quickly.

Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. I'll try to shut my eyes for a while.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Sick on the first day of June

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Mon, 01 Jun 2026 08:21:35 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's the first day of June, a Monday, and I just got home. I feel sick, Mama. There was a bit of drizzle while I was walking earlier on my way home. I'm not sure if that's the reason, but I don't feel good right now.

Ralph is already preparing to go to work. He'll be reporting earlier today than his usual schedule, Mama. I think he'll be having another interview, Mama. He'll be the one conducting the interview this time. They need more people on his team, and being the manager, he has a say in the accepting of applicants. I hope he'll be guided by the Holy Spirit in his decisions, Mama.

I think that will be all for now, Mama. Edgar is probably on his way home now. Angel won't be out of their office until 7 p.m.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Lazy Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 31 May 2026 01:27:05 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's funny how I am calling this a lazy Sunday when the truth I am lazy everyday haha... Anyway, it's around 9 a.m., Mama. Ralph and I had our breakfast already. I bought tamales and suman bulagta. Edgar and Angel are still sleeping, Ralph is getting ready to leave. He said he'll go somewhere. I didn't bother asking, Mama. They're already old. I'm not sure if we'll be able to go out later for a little family day.

Angel and I went out yesterday. Edgar and Ralph had separate businesses they attended to. That's why it was just me and Angel. We went to Marquee Mall, we ate and we walked around the mall. We went home at around 9 p.m., Mama. Edgar came home at around 10 p.m, and I think Ralph arrived past 11 p.m. already. I was already sleeping at that time, Mama.

That's all for this lazy Sunday morning, Mama. I miss you.

I love you, Mama.

Daddy

It's a bit louder tonight

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Thu, 28 May 2026 12:00:35 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's almost 8 p.m., Angel is probably on her way home now. She hasn't sent a message yet, Mama but their shift is up to 7 p.m. I'm worried because there's been thunder and lightning since 6 p.m. earlier. Praying she'll get home before the rain starts.

Ralph will be leaving at 10 p.m., I hope it hasn't rained yet by that time. I cannot make him hurry up or move faster. He won't, Mama. Anyway, we already had our dinner. He'll probably rest and prepare at 9 p.m.

The sound at the grill bar beside is a bit louder tonight, Mama. I'm surprised though, because it's only Thursday and they usually have singers only on Fridays and Saturdays. They probably have an event tonight. I hope that's the reason, and they're not adding Thursdays to their schedule. I was surprised because I can hear them, Mama. Not as loud as the previous ones that was operating, but I can hear them. I hope it doesn't get any louder than this.

That's all for tonight, Mama. I wish I can hold your hands and embrace now. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

About last night

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 24 May 2026 23:54:15 +0000

Dear Mama,

Angel will be having her first day at her new work today. She's preparing right now as I'm writing this letter, Mama. They will be on day shift today, although their time is only 10 am to 2 pm because they'll just be having their orientation, and perhaps onboarding. They still don't know their time schedule for tomorrow, Mama.

We don't have work today. It's a holiday on Wednesday, May 27, but our office usually offsets midweek holidays to either Monday or Friday so we'll have a straight long weekend. Which of course, we would welcome, Mama. Ralph also won't have work tonight because it's a holiday in the U.S. and they follow American holiday in their office since their clients are based in America. Edgar is already at his work.

I had my busking session at the Plaza Angel in the Heritage District of Angeles City last night, Mama. And boy, did I make a fool of myself. After all those weeks of practice, I still fumbled a lot, Mama. And worse, Ralph, Edgar, and Angel were with me last night. I'm not sure if they were embarrassed, too haha...

I thought I was prepared, but I did not expect the spotlight which affected my vision. I wasn't able to see the frets of my guitar, Mama. This caused me to go to have wrong chords because I would often land on the wrong frets. This happened on the first song, and it affected my performance the entire night, Mama. Even on the songs I didn't need to move to higher frets. Perhaps, because of the errors I became conscious, and committed even more errors, Mama. I'm afraid to watch to video of my performance on my phone haha...

I never had that condition before, Mama, wherein I can't see my own guitar because of the spotlights. I guess I need to prepare and practice moving on the guitar frets even without looking. I still had fun, though. At least some people were still appreciative. I got some tips. Overall, it was not such a bad experience. It's a learning one. I need to expose myself more so I would know where to improve, Mama.

Well, that's all for now, Mama. I just wanted to update you, especially on my bloopers last night. I hope I did not embarrassed you too much. I hope you watched me.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

I got a busking slot!

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Thu, 21 May 2026 08:12:53 +0000

Dear Mama,

I got a busking slot! I'm so excited, Mama. At the same time I am also nervous. I know I'm not really that good, Mama. I just like to sing and play the guitar. I wish I have a beautiful voice just like you, Mama. Unfortunately, all I know is how to make people laugh.

I am slated to be one of the featured buskers this Sunday at the Plaza Angel, Mama. It's the street in front of the Holy Rosary Parish Church and beside the Museo Ning Angeles. They close the road to vehicles and put stalls there for weekend night market. It's a bit crowded, Mama. A lot of people walking around, and I'll be performing in the middle of it!

I have been practicing since last month. I hope I won't make a fool of myself. Please bless me, Mama. Make me do good this Sunday so that I'll get more gigs. I could use an extra income.

I hope I'll be able to make you proud this Sunday, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

We weren't able to celebrate

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Tue, 19 May 2026 12:13:46 +0000

Dear Mama,

I'm sorry, we weren't able to celebrate today. Edgar is still sick, Angel was out for her medical exam, Ralph was sleeping because he'll be working nightshift, it was raining heavily, and actually, my finances have been depleted. I'm really sorry, Mama.

We had McDonalds delivery for our dinner today, though. Would that count as a celebration, Mama? I'm not sure if our children are aware of the day, Mama. Although we have been celebrating in previous years. I guess they must have forgotten already. Again, it's my fault, Mama. I'm sorry.

I wish I can see you tonight, Mama. I need you.

Daddy

Remembering the day we touched the sun

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Mon, 18 May 2026 13:20:18 +0000

Dear Mama,

I just woke Ralph up so he can prepare for work, it's 9 p.m. It's raining tonight, Mama. On and off, it would fall strong and then it would stop, and be strong again. Right now, I think it's drizzling, Mama. Ralph is taking a bath. Hoping it won't be raining hard when he leaves later. He's having gout attack again, Mama.

Tomorrow, we'll be remembering the day we touched the sun, Mama. The day I was finally able to take you to Manila Bay to watch the sunset. It was our first and last, Mama. I was not able to take you back again. I hope you enjoyed our time then, even though the sunset wasn't as majestic as we expected it to be because it was cloudy then.

Edgar is still not feeling well, Mama. He came home from work sick. He is already sleeping now. He said he won't be working tomorrow, Mama. At least he can rest. Hope he feels better.

Angel was supposed to have her medical examination this afternoon, but because it rained she was not able to go. She will have it tomorrow instead, Mama. I advised her to go earlier, since rain often falls in the afternoon these past few days.

That will be all for now, Mama. Happy anniversary!

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Sunday night

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 17 May 2026 12:01:10 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's Sunday night and we just had our dinner. We did not go out tonight like we usually do on Sundays, Mama. Edgar was not feeling well and Ralph slept the whole afternoon. I just woke him up early evening to ask him if he can order food for our dinner because Edgar cannot cook, Mama.

Angel is not well, Mama. She's feeling cold every now and then. She's taking medicines, Mama. I hope she feels better soon. She'll be having her medical examination to comply with the pre-employment requirement for her new job, Mama.

As for me, I'm not really accomplishing anything, Mama. If I am not doom scrolling on my phone or tablet, I am either sleeping or playing the guitar. I am not really productive. What else is new, right?

Anyway, that will be all for this Sunday evening, Mama. Please visit my in my dream.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Angel has a new job

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Thu, 14 May 2026 00:48:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Angel went out yesterday for her weekly photo therapy session for her skin treatment. She usually goes to cafe after her session, Mama which is okay with me because she's staying at home most of the time.

Last night, I was surprised when she said they'll be giving them food for dinner so we would not have to wait for her. I was surprised so I asked where she was, and she replied she was applying for a job, Mama.

When she arrived home at around 10 p.m. and she told me all the details, she also said she was hired and will start on the 25th of May. And she seems to like the job, Mama. It's a call center job, but the account she's handling is finance. I'm just glad she's working again and she seems happy about her new job, Mama. I hope she'll enjoy herself there.

I just want to share the good news to you, Mama.

I miss you.

I love you.

Daddy

Anxiety, again

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Wed, 13 May 2026 09:48:02 +0000

Dear Mama,

I've been having anxiety lately again, and I can't control it. When will I ever get healed, Mama? I'm tired of this.

I wish you're here.

Daddy

Happy Mother's Day, Mama!

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 10 May 2026 12:57:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

Happy Mother's Day!

We arrived home earlier around 8 p.m. I just cleaned the cats' litter boxes before I went to bed to rest, but not after writing this letter. Our three children are already resting, Mama. I think Ralph is already asleep.

We went to SM Clark earlier. Ralph had his hair cut and then we ate dinner at Aling Mila's to celebrate Mother's Day. Of course, it was Ralph's treat as usual. I'm sure you would love what we had ordered, Mama. After dinner, we bought round silvanas from Brownie's because Angel remembered they were one of your favorites.

We were supposed to have halo-halo but the place where we're to supposed to have them was filled. We just had drinks at the place beside it. We were ordering ice cream, but it was not available so we had to settle for the drinks. While we were there, we noticed that Ralph was already sleeping, Mama. So, we decided to go home so he can rest.

And that's how we celebrated Mother's Day, Mama. Tomorrow I'll be back to work after a long birthday weekend. I wish you were still here with us, especially during celebrations like this, Mama.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Officially 58

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sat, 09 May 2026 01:40:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

I'm officially 58. Didn't know I'd reach this far. It would have been better if you were still here, Mama. I'm sorry. It's just that I'm missing you more in times like this, Mama.

Yesterday, we started the day by doing our grocery shopping. Incidentally, Edgar and Ralph are out today for personal matters, that's why it was a good thing we were able to do it yesterday. Before going to the supermarket, Ralph treated us to breakfast buffet at Park Inn. After groceries we went straight home and just rest for the whole day.

In the afternoon, Ralph took us to a massage parlor where all four of us had foot spa and whole body massage. Then we had dinner at nearby Yellow Cab before going home. And that's just how my birthday went, Mama.

My latest song finally was live today in Spotify, Mama. It took longer than usual. I thought I would be able to promote it on my birthday, unfortunately it just came live this morning. Or probably late last night when I was already asleep.

Tomorrow's Mother Day, and it's just reason for us to miss you more. Happy Mother's Day, Mama!

I love you.

Daddy

Counting down

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Tue, 05 May 2026 13:35:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's only 3 days until I turn 58. I'm not really expecting anything, Mama. I'm just counting down because I will be releasing my next song on my birthday. You know, just to make the song a little bit special. It will at least make it relevant, because it's a personal song and it will be released on my birthday. Other than that, there's nothing to look forward to.

But you know what would be the perfect birthday gift, Mama? It will be you visiting me in my dream, and waking up remembering all that happened in my dream. That will make my birthday special, Mama.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Lazy Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Sun, 03 May 2026 02:14:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's Sunday morning. I'm done with some chores and just resting now, Mama. Edgar will be preparing pasta and wings for our lunch today. I should be cleaning now, but as usual I'm procrastinating again.

It's funny how I know I am procrastinating but I can't snap out of it, Mama. I don't know if it's anxiety-induced procrastination or I am just really lazy. My mind has been in such a chaos lately. I mean, when has it not been? haha... I disturb my own peace of mind with too many what-ifs and if only.

Oh well, it's just too difficult when you have no one to talk to, I guess.

I wish you were here. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

First of May

noreply@blogger.com (Roy) — Fri, 01 May 2026 11:52:00 +0000

Dear Mama,

It's the first day of May. It's already my birth month, Mama. I'll be turning 58 soon. Other than that, there's really nothing special about it, Mama. And I am not expecting anything.

I don't know what to say here. We just had our dinner, Mama. Ralph is resting before to work in while. Edgar is washing the dishes. Angel is also resting, she'll feed the cats in a while.

Anyway, that's all for now, Mama. I just wanted to say first of May.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy