Libang Libu

Mana Tukar Tiub Ni?

2013-05-24T10:35:00.000+08:00

Di bawah ialah keratan blog Tukar Tiub bertarikh 18/5/2013

Itu lah paparan terakhir di blog Tukar Tiub. Belum lagi dikemas kini hingga ke hari ini.

Bagi aku dan ramai lagi junkie Tukar Tiub yg saban hari berbelas-belas kali menjenguk Tukar Tiub, sudah tentu kami hairan.

Apa dah jadi dgn Tukar Tiub/Hisham Rais?

Dah lari ke Belgium?

Dah ke dalam?

Jangan Sibuk Tangkap IKANG!

2013-05-23T19:42:00.003+08:00

blog Haris Ibrahim

Masih tiada bunyi dari Tamrin Ghaffar dan Tian Chua.

Juga tiada dari TG Hadi Awang.

Berok Dapat Bunga

2013-05-23T16:00:00.003+08:00

Beruk ini baru dapat spek hitam

Saya pantau setiap ayat Malaysiakini

Beruk Subsidi

2013-05-23T10:20:00.000+08:00

Kalau tak setuju keluar dari Malaysia!!

Yang heboh sangat pasal gaji Ketua Menteri Sarawak kenapa? Memang dia berhak dapat RM 39 000.00 sebulan

Dia berhak dapat segala percuma, kereta, tol, rumah, org gaji, melancong, kenduri, minyak, makan dan siap berhak rembat harta negeri.

Korang rakyat jelata...RM900.00 - RM2 000.00 sebulan, padan la. Cukup la. Bukan reti pakai duit.

Pandai-pandai la bayar GST, AES, rumah, kereta, minyak, anak sekolah, saman, ubat. Nak jimat lagi, jangan jatuh sakit! Kah kah kah kah!!!

Apa lagi yang rakyat mahu?

Kalau tak setuju keluar Malaysia!

Nak apa lagi? Subsidi beruk nak?? Kah kah kah kah!!!!!

Beruk Bagan Datoh

2013-05-22T10:44:00.000+08:00

5 tahun aku menetap di Teluk Intan. Lanskap Teluk Intan dan Bagan Datoh tidak banyak beza.

Sebut saja Bagan Datoh, terbayang dalam kepala aku ladang kelapa sawit, sawah padi, pokok kelapa, beruk dan Zahid Hamidi.

Ahli Parlimen Bagan Datoh

Perangai beruk ini memang satu macam punya barua. Kalau kita tak ambik pot, dia akan duduk diam mengangkang sambil cari kutu di celah kangkang.

Cuba kita agah-agah sikit, seolah-olah nak mengacau. Mak ai kau!!!

Bagai nak luruh semua daun pokok mempelam tempat dia kena tambat! Mata naik merah, ponggong naik merah menyala. Punya la marah macam anytime rantai penambat akan putus!

Macam tu jugak kita deal dengan manusia. Terutama jenis 'bagai beruk dapat cincin'. Kalau manusia, jenis yg baru dapat atau naik pangkat.

Kita agah-agah sikit, kemudian buat tak ambik pot, agah-agah sikit, kemudian kita buat dek. Seronok melayan beruk dapat cincin ni.

Kah kah kah kah kah!!, buat apa layan beruk lama-lama. Beruk kan tu? Muka pun dah rupa beruk.

Lama-lama letih la dia. Ala.. beruk bukan ke bodoh? Kah kah kah

Serupa lembu, kena tambat mengikut cakap tuannya.

Terbaek Dari Facebook: Kena Lutu 13 Kali

2013-05-21T10:00:00.000+08:00

Idea berasal dari status facebook Anwar Jutawan Muda.

Aku ubahsuai sikit dan tambah ajinomoto untuk bagi lagi pedas, sinis, menghina dan menghasut mengikut selera tekak dan tembolok aku.

Ada masalah? Kalau tak ada masalah boleh teruskan membaca.

Kisah Kena Lutu 13 Kali

Hinggalah ke hari ini, seorang gadis diminta terus tinggal serumah dgn saudara kandungnya walaupun telah dilutu sebanyak 13 kali.

Anehnya, semua ahli keluarga dan masyarakat setempat bagaikan sepakat meminta gadis itu bersabar dan menerima hakikat dia telah dilutu untuk sekian kali dan dia tidak boleh buat apa-apa untuk mendapatkan keadilan bagi bagi dirinya sebagai pihak yg dilutu.

Alang-alang telah dilutu sebanyak itu, tunggulah dan bersedialah untuk dilutu buat kali ke-14. Nescaya, kali ke-14 akan ada sinar keadilan baginya.

Nampak macam mudah. Tapi hakikatnya haramjadah punya payah, walaupun nampak ada jalan untuk si gadis meloloskan diri. Tapi dah asyik kena lutu, kepala otak pun dah buntu. Pintu dah ternganga pun masih tak mau lari.

Orang dah sedap melutu tak akan lepaskan mangsanya mudah-mudah. Macam-macam cara dibuat untuk memujuk mangsa lutu. Bagi duit RM500.00. Kemudian bagi lagi RM1000.00. Offer lagi beli smart-phone berdiskaun RM200.00.

Yg peliknya si mangsa lutu boleh jadi cair dgn duit RM500.00, RM1000.00 dan diskaun smart-phone. Walhal dirinya dah kematu dilutu dia tak sedar-sedar.

Setelah dilutu buat kali ke 13 baru-baru ini, scenarionya lagi haru. Saudara kandungnya melutu bawak geng.

Geng itu ialah geng CIMB. Bukan staff bank CIMB, tapi makhluk dari Cambodia, Indonesia, Myanmar dan Bangla!

Tak cukup dengan bawak geng, saudaranya juga telah membuat aturan, aturan sebelum melutu jari mesti dicalit dengan dakwat hitam. Itu tanda dah dapat melutu sekali. Kah kah kah!

Haramjadah dakwat sotong yg dicalit. Celup dalam air longkang pun dah padam. Calit la dgn sirap ros, lagi tahan lama. Kah kah kah! Berulang-alik CIMB melutu!

Tunjuk perasaan dianjurkan oleh Pak Syeikh untuk membela mangsa lutu.

Ramai turun membawa sepanduk, 'Oi! Melutu sekali dah la!', 'Cukuplah Melutu 55 Tahun!', 'Tegang Diutamakan, Si anu Dilutukan!'

Pak Seikh masih bersemangat.

Tapi ada yg potong stim, "terimalah hakikat awak dah dilutu pun..jangan buat huru hara dan cuba cetuskan suasana tak aman dengan hasut semua orang lain!"

Para lebai pun begitu jua, redha lah, kita tunggu kali ke-14 ini macam mana lutunya. Kah kah kah kah!!!!

Jamban Pam Minyak Terbaik: Jamban PETRON

2013-05-20T11:19:00.000+08:00

Aku amat cerewet dalam hal melibatkan berak kencing. Aku mahukan jamban yg selesa, kering, bersih dan nyaman sepoi-sepoi bahasa.

Bukan sebarang jamban layak untuk berak dan kencing aku. Puas aku mencari seantero Malaya. Aku amat memilih.

Tapi kini dah jumpa!

Jamban PETROooooooooooN!!!!!!!

Singgahlah ke jamban Petron. Anda akan dijamu kopi seusai melepas hajat.

Tapi ingat. Hanya jambannya saja yg berguna. Petrolnya tak payah.

Untuk petrol, isi di pam Petronas. Sokong syarikat tempatan.

Terbaek Dari Facebook: Mat Nuar Punya Penumbuk

2013-05-12T10:00:00.000+08:00

Inilah aku rasa ilustrasi yg paling tepat. Paling mustajab.

Kalau ditengok gambar diatas, spek Mat Nuar herot pun tidak.

Terima kasih kepada Chandra Lawan Tetap Lawan yg telah mengongsikan gambar ini di wall facebooknya.

Ini Real Punya Kari Lah!

2013-05-10T08:30:00.000+08:00

No New Moon On Monday Afterall

2013-05-06T11:00:00.000+08:00

Anwar Fires First Salvo!

2013-05-05T19:38:00.000+08:00

Pancutan Terakhir!

2013-05-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

Ooooooops...

PECUTAN terakhir!

Tomorrow, new government!

Faktor Parut BCG Dalam PRU13

2013-05-04T20:47:00.000+08:00

Orang Malaysia ada parut BCG. Mamat Bangla tak ada. Clear? Jelas?

Petua mengenal mamat Bangla Ori boleh didapati di blog yongsukakuning. Detail penjelasannya.

Info ini amat berguna untuk mengelakkan kejadian salah 'terkelepuk' nanti.

Berita baru masuk, sah dan kompom la rumah timbalan orang kuat polis se Malaya haram tak ada internet.

Sekarang kita tau lah, internet pun haram dia tak reti nak bukak. Usahkan Facebook. Usahkan Twitter. Usahkan e-mail.

Kompom lah bahan bacaannya, Utusan Meloya dan Berita Hairan.

Santapan jasmaninya dari pagi membawak ke malam ialah TV3, sampai berlemak keliling buah pinggang.

Dia punya bijak, dia boleh kata mustahil rakyat asing boleh mengundi di Tanah Melayu ini!

Dia dah lama hidup. Tak apalah, biar dia duduk dalam lubang makan cacing kerawit. Kah kah kah!!!

bangla beratur menunggu lauk

Yong Kamilia Kuale Punya Penangan

2013-05-04T13:59:00.000+08:00

"Soh".

Dalam loghat Kuala Kangsor, Perak, soh bermakna tak berbunyi. Diam. Sunyi. Tak bergerak. Satu apa pun tarak. Elek!

Itu yg terjadi di peringkat Wanita UMNO.

Sedangkan sayap inilah yg menjadi tulang belakang UMNO. Mintak maap, tulang belakang UMNO bukan tulang belakang Mahafiraun.

Tulang belakang Mahafiraun dah herot!

Di kampung aku, dah tak ada lagi mak aji-mak aji, mak cik-makcik pakai selendang merah menjaja UMNO dari rumah ke rumah. Aku doakan diseluruh Malaya begitu juga.

Atau, adakah para Wanita UMNO ini masih terlentang buntang kenyang daging lembu fresh?

Kah kah kah kah kah!!!

Tumpor UMNO! Tumpor!

Terciom-molot Dari Facebook: I Love PM [Gambar]

2013-05-03T08:00:00.000+08:00

Gambar ini dikutip dari Facebook Troll Cinema.

Tergampang Dari Facebook: IC Makcik Kerepot [Gambar]

2013-05-02T21:30:00.000+08:00

Gambar ini hasil kerja Facebook Penarik Beca

Muka kerepot tapi tahun beranaknya, 1996! Akai ada?

Macam mana kita nak berlawan dgn mekanisma yg macam ini?

Dia buat teran-terang kerja menipu. Tak payah buat bawah kolong lagi.

Seolahnya, "aku tengah tipu hang ni, hangpa boleh buat apa?"

Ambik Obat!

2013-05-02T18:31:00.000+08:00

Pergi mintak air Tok Guru, dia akan bagi. Kompom.

'Ambik obat' dalam bahasa budak-budak sekarang ialah, padan muka!

Tapi kita tak perlu meng'ambik obat'kan Zahid Hamidi dan anak lelakinya. Kisahnya boleh dibaca di sini dan di sinun.

Cukup apa yg dideritainya sekarang ini. Itu pun kalau dia reti bahasa insaf dan 'menderita'.

Kalau tak rei-reti jugak, pulun la lagi mencarut, mencerca, memaki orang. Pulun sampai luruh semua bulu.

Bapa Kencing Berlari, Anak Minum Air Kencing

2013-05-01T18:00:00.000+08:00

Bapak Saiful Baukari buat U-turn kepala keretapi.

Padan muka. Padan muka lah sapa yg menatang bapak Saiful BauKari tempohari. Kah kah kah!

Johari Abdul, cuba gosok-gosok ubun. Ada bau hancing? Kah kah kah

Aku pun kena. kah kah kah!!!

Kita Bakor Je. Bakor! Bakor!

2013-05-01T16:22:00.000+08:00

Aku pun tak tau kesahehan berita ini.

Tapi, telah dikisahkan di Greenboc, ada sebuah bilik gerakan UMNO/BN kena bakor kes lupa bayor pengeras memacak bendera.

Kah kah kah! Apa lagi, simbah la dgn air mineral yg berlori-lori tuh!

Dakwat Tidak Kekal, Yg Masih Kekal Ialah Barua

2013-04-30T21:32:00.000+08:00

Apa lagi ikhtiar kita nak berlawan dgn mekanisma macam ini?

I Don't Want To Die Under BN Rule Too

2013-04-28T00:05:00.000+08:00

This is copy & paste article.

This article appeared at The People's Parliament and it's written by one Gunslinger. And I believe it merits a place in this blog.

But, bear with me, it is one lengthy hell of an article.

The Men Who Made Me
by Gunslinger

My first exposure to politics was when , as a little girl of 5 or 6 in Ipoh, I ran out of my house to wave at the charismatic Mr.Patto of DAP, campaigning through loudspeakers on his moving open-truck. He was fiery and I thought he was so brave and clever, standing up there and speaking without any fear. My father told me that Mr. Patto urged Malaysians not to fear change, and said that every citizen should call himself a Malaysian first and foremost, and not a Malay, Chinese or Indian. I never forgot that. Ever.

I remember thinking back then that even if I had even a quarter of his courage, I would be a lucky girl indeed. Years later, as a young adult, when I read that he had passed away, I was very saddened. Not because he had died, because I knew he must have lived a full, exciting life – lived more than most would have done in their lifetimes of subservient kneeling to whomever could throw them a few scraps. I was sad because he never got a chance to make a difference to more Malaysians by being a part of the ruling party. I felt his tough resilience, his strong character and his courage of convictions would define character for a lot of young Malaysians.

My father encouraged me to read the newspapers, which I found extremely boring. For even then I thought the reporting was pretty lop-sided, with mud-slinging and name calling by BN politicians to opposition party members, reported in what I felt was salacious glee. I eventually started following the adventures of one very inspiring man who stood out again and again as a lion of courage and strength amongst most other men – Mr. Karpal Singh. He took no nonsense from silly politicians, he fought with courage against corruption, he admonished newspapermen who got their facts wrong, hell, he even took on the King. Man, did he rock my world!

I was shocked when he was sent to prison for merely voicing his opinions, under the ISA, which was meant for communists. Opposition seemed a bad word back then, but I never got it. Why was being in the Opposition negative? Even as a child of eight, I could see the logic and absolute necessity of a strong opposition, which unfortunately most adults could not and would not see. I guess the lull of complacency, of the ‘let’s not rock the boat, we are fine now, what’ was at its greatest heights then. But I was not convinced.

So, in a dark lost world, Mr.Karpal Singh became my knight in shining armour. A man who would fight for what’s right. There were so few like him. Most men in positions of authority just sold out to the highest bidder like cheap prostitutes – for titles, for positions, for contracts, for seats. And with such intelligence, charisma, calibre and capability Mr. Karpal Singh could have been at the top of the stakes. But he never even considered cashing in his chips, because he had that rarest of commodities most men and women don’t have. Commodities that makes one stand out like a beacon in a sea of insipid folks – self-pride, honour, integrity. That is what makes a man, a real man.

And the people in the Opposition had it. Mr.Lim Kit Siang had it. I have watched his hair grow from black to white , but that pursed up lips of stubborn resilience, that fierce determination in his eyes has never diminished. That fearless questioning that went on, while backbenchers from BN shouted like monkeys on heat to drown his voice. He never gave up. And sometimes, I wondered why men like Karpal and Kit Siang went on, when they were locked up, reviled, slandered against…it would have been all too easy to just let it go and walk away. But they did it out of duty, to a country they loved. Now , that is what I call patriotism. Not shouting slogans, waving flags. Patriotism is making wrongs right for your country – without fear or favour.

These are men of courage, wisdom and integrity who should be ruling Malaysia, but they were never given a chance. If they had been, we would have seen a different Malaysia today. A Malaysia with backbone.

I must have been 9 or 10 when I followed my first election result tally with my father until the wee hours of the morning. I was the youngest in the family, and probably the most passionate, thereby I naturally became Daddy’s helper. I was helping him count and we took turns adding up results – it was a landslide victory – again – for Barisan Nasional. Ho hum. As usual. Then Mahathir came on screen. And he was gloating, with such a disgusting smirk on his face, that I wished I could lean into the tv and slap him.

I never liked him. Call it a child’s instinct, call it a child’s innocence or conversely, maturity beyond my age, I saw evil in him. I did not like his constant smirk, I did not like his shifty eyes, I did not like his disparaging words against the opposition who had lost. He was never a gentleman. The dislike for him has only intensified over the years, as I see now how he is also the ultimate racist who has divided and segregated the country, stolen our souls and spirit and has made a fortune for himself, using the Malay and bumiputra agenda to manipulate simple-minded Malays, while being a full Indian himself.

My father was an avid reader, and he read everything from politics to economics to romance (yes, when he could not get his hands on anything else). He was merely a clerk in Telecoms, but in another life, in a parallel universe with more opportunities his way,he might have been more, much more.

My most vivid memory of my dad is of him sitting on his favourite worn out chair, with one leg crossed under him and the other swinging in tandem to the mood of the moment, reading with his black horn-rimmed glasses, in his white singlet and blue striped shorts. We were poor, but hell, we had our books. There was this one book that he kept next to him and read and re-read more often than the others. It was Tan Sri Tan Chee Koon’s “Without Fear or Favour’. He was in awe of Tan Chee Koon, said there were few men like him. And he used to tell me this story – “This man beat the odds, girl. Born of immigrant parents, he rose at 5.30am every morning to feed livestock, cycled 5 miles to tap rubber, and when he came back at 4pm, he would tend to the vegetables and fruit trees and sometime between all that , found time to become a doctor and lead the opposition and write some of the most brilliant books that speak of a nation – without fear or favour. See, you don’t have to always remain poor if you work hard.”

My father kept telling me to read Tan Chee Koon’s book, I must have been 13 or 14 then. The teenager in me, though, was more interested in the racy, tittillating Sidney Sheldons and Joan Collins then, and I never did read that book. And when my father died, and my mother and I had to leave our home for good, I lost a lot. My home, my security, my sense of belonging, those books, but most of all , my father who made me cherish what was real and good in this world. I forgot that book, and my promise to my dad to read it. But I remember it now, as the mother-of-all-elections come close, and I managed to look it up in the internet, and realise that it is a book before its time. A book that asks questions that have been stifled for too long. A book just like its name. I promise I will read it, dad, and I am doing more than that – I am spreading the word of your favourite book to many, many more.

The nightmare of BN continued.

Tun Salleh Abbas, the Lord President was removed from the judiciary along with 5 other prominent , respected and most importantly, honest, judges by Mahathir. The independance of the judiciary was killed in one stroke. I was horrified. But people still voted BN in. It was the worst decision the country made, because Malaysia sunk into a state of lawlessness after that. And with that one by one, the many institutions that keep a country grounded through check and balance, and accountability fell like a stack of dominoes.

I must have been in the university when I read that Lim Guan Eng, then a young passionate DAP member, was thrown into jail for championing the cause of a young Malay girl who was raped by a prominent BN politician. It defied logic, and it strengthened my hatred for Barisan Nasional and for stupid people who kept voting Barisan Nasional in every election like goats to the slaughter. It was a stupidity and selfishness that has come back to haunt them over and over again.

Growing up, I stood on the shoulders of giants like Patto, Karpal, Kit Siang and I saw beyond the veil of deceit, stupidity and arrogance the ruling party had kept us under. I saw my nemesis – his name was Mahathir, and I learnt what real evil was, and how evil can manipulate everything to get its own ways. For even the Devil can quote the Scripture for his own benefit, the Bible tells us. Yes, Mahathir made me too – he made me aware of how conmen work, and opened my eyes to deceipt, racism, hatred, manipulation and how absolute power corrupts absolutely.

The insidious evil of Mahathir and his legacy of slimy politics and mega cronyism changed a landscape. The master manipulator had everyone singing his praises, except me. And then the tide turned – Anwar happened. I was there on the 20th of Sept 1998 – shouting REFORMASI with my fellow countrymen. Oh, for a glimpse of hope, for change, for a better Malaysia. I never felt more Malaysian that day, when finally I met people who threw of the shackles of race and religion and sang a song of freedom, as one people, one nation. United by Anwar. It must have been Mahathir’s nightmare. We followed Anwar Ibrahim. We saw a leader. It did not matter if he was gay or straight, Malay or Iban, Muslim or Bahai – he was hope. And that little sliver of hope kept a torn nation together, in fevered anticipation. We dared to hope, we dared to dream once again. And the dream was so beautiful.

The dream was intermittently shattered by brutality and force of the oppressors – I saw frail Tian Chua beaten up, abused and manhandled. But that frail man was only frail in body , but an unstoppable juggernaut in heart and spirit.They beat him, he got up. And he got up more times than they could push him down. Where Karpal, Kit Siang , Patto had gone to jail and given up many privileges to remain steadfast in their beliefs, Tian Chua gave his body, took the beatings and soldiered on. They taught me the real meaning of sacrifice – to not just talk the talk , but to walk the walk.

Anwar Ibrahim, was just like those men I mentioned above – just that he started on the other side of the fence, and had it easier than Patto, Karpal or Kit Siang. But everyone deserves a second chance and Anwar Ibrahim has proven to me, by the sheer volume of torture, slander and injustice meted out by BN and still not buckling to their pressure – that he has my vote to be the change I have been wanting for as long as I can remember.

My father, Patto, Kit Siang, Karpal, Tan Chee Koon, Guan Eng, Tian Chua, Anwar and many others who speak without fear or favour – they have shaped my character. My fighting spirit. The pride I feel in myself for never needing to grovel for handouts, for always standing on my own two feet. The way I hold myself up high, look people in the eye and DEMAND my rights in this country I call home, not shyly whisper for it. I am no more a child, I am not afraid of bullies anymore. I am the new generation, a generation that is part of a global village, who is conditioned not merely by the environment and politics of this country but by that of a global community. You can’t fool us with lies. That time is long gone. But you will watch us roar. And march forward to stake our claim in a country we call home. We know no other home but this home, and we will fight to make it ours, the way we want it. We will speak, and not forever hold our breath. And we will NOT go gently into the night, but rage, rage against the dying light….

I see millions of Malaysians in youtube videos, who must feel like me, waving flags with fire in their eyes, passion in their souls, hoping for a change.

I am 44 years old. I was born into BN rule.

And I don’t want to die under BN rule.

My country, my people and I deserve more than this. And I hope to see the men who made me, and men and women like them, be given the chance to bring back pride, soul, spirit and hope to the disenfranchised youth. To create more young men and women like me to go on and carry the torch for a future we can proudly leave behind for our children.

Anak Menteri Cap Ayam Punya Penangan

2013-04-27T10:58:00.000+08:00

Sumber: Facebook Dato' Ramesh Rajaratnam

Klik untuk besarkan gambar

Farhana Nong Chik telah dianugerahkan kontrek bernilai RM30,800,000-00 oleh Kementerian Belia dan Sukan.

Tiga puloh juta ringgit.

Kontrek ini diberi secara rundingan terus. Maknanya, "tak ada apa2 ke untuk aku?" Kah kah kah!!!

Sebenarnya ada beribu-ribu Farhana di M'sia ini. Kerja mereka ini makan tidur, makan tidur, sesekali bapak mereka orang kuat UMNO akan kejutkan mereka dari tidur dan bagi kontrek juta-juta.

Ini belum lagi bapaknya menteri 'sah', bapaknya cuma menteri cap ayam, yakni menteri tak ada kerusi sendiri.

Kalau pemgundi Lembah Pantai boleh kasi menteri cap ayam ini menang berlawan dgn Nurul Izzah, tak tau la.

Dah kena taik ayam candu ke? kah kah kah

Tuan Presiden Kurang Sihatkah?

2013-04-27T09:00:00.000+08:00

Tempoh berkempen untuk PRU13 ini tinggal berbaki kurang dari 10 hari.

Semua orang sibuk. Dari sebesar-besar pangkat hingga ke tukang pacak bendera, semua bertugas.

Yang poyo-poyo buat sibuk pun lagi ramai.

Semalam, hari Jumaat Nik Aziz turun ke Masjid Besi, Putrajaya membawa sokongan kepada Husam. Kesian Tok Guru, datang dari jauh Kota Bharu. Badan bukan kuat macam dulu lagi. Sering jatuh sakit.

Kit Siang dah berkampung di Gelang Patah.

Mahafiraun ke hulu ke hilir menjaja nama anak, nak dibuat MB.

Najib ke utara, Muhyidin ke selatan. Masing-masing baru sedar bulu lain kaler.

Mat Nuar jgn cerita. Kalau binatang di zoo itu boleh faham Bahasa Melayu dan layak mengundi, nescaya lama Mat Nuar berada di Ulu Klang.

Cuma, kita tertanya-tanya, mana Tuan Presiden kita? Tolonglah bakar semangat anak buah.

Ini bukan masanya pergi menangkap ikang.

Sekiranya Tuan Presiden kurang sihat, cari-carilah pil.

Pemuda Melayu Terkaya di Perak

2013-04-26T23:08:00.001+08:00

Artikel ini aku cedok orang punya. Sumber: saveumnoperak

Ini dia pemuda Melayu terkaya di Perak.

Manusia ini muncul di bawah kepimpinan Sohibuss Samahah al Haj al Rrendek Nalerekek Zambry Kadeer.

Sejuuuuk perut bini mengandung. Kah kah kah!!!

Semua main ratus ribu. Berjuta harta benda.

Tapi boleh gerenti segala benda-benda doniawi ini semua hutang. Puak ni bukan reti bayar tunai. Kalau dapat free lagi bagus.

Tak tahu ke bahananya kalau Perak jatuh ketangan PR sekali lagi?

Nak bayar dgn hape benda ini semua?

Biar dia terkincit kuning cair dalam seluar, baru ada akai. Kah kah kah!!!

PACA Benteng Terakhir PR

2013-04-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

Sejak merdeka sehinggalah sekarang, Tanah Melayu masih lagi menggunakan istilah Bahasa Inggeris, Polling Agent Counting Agent. PACA.

Polling Agent akan berada di pusat pengundian manakala Counting Agent berada di tempat mengira undi.

Aku pernah menjadi sukarelawan PACA mewakili PAS pada PRU 12. Sijil perakuan dari PAS itu masih aku simpan sampai sekarang.

Beberapa hari sebelum bertugas, kami para sukarelawan diberi taklimat benda apa itu PACA dan bagaimana PACA berfungsi oleh otai-otai PACA terdahulu.

Di sinilah baru aku tau betapa haramjadahnya UMNO. Penipu pengelat numero uno. Bacul. Penakut.

Tambahan pula sekarang ini mereka tengah nyawa-nyawa ikan. Akan sehabis ikhtiar dan daya mengelat/menipu untuk menang.

Sia-sia saja kita tengah malam main embun jantan memacak bendera. Sia-sia kita berdiri di lampu isyarat mengedarkan risalah.

Namun semasa bertugas ketika itu, kami tidak pulak bertemu kes-kes menipu. Tapi, mana tau, mungkin satu kes telah lolos? UMNO ini terer menipu ya tuan-tuan...

Aku masih ingat bagaimana kawan aku Sheikh, bertanya dari luar pagar, "macamana? ok tak?". Aku jawab, "Ok sesangat. Setakat ini kita masih leading". Punya la dia seronok, tup-tup dia pegi duduk bawah pokok ketapang menangis terisak-isak sambil tutup muka. Kah kah kah! Apa punya perangai daaa...

Hari itu Azmin Ali dan Shaari Sungip menang bergaya.

Tapi barang harus diingat, PRU kali ini lain macam. Kita akan berlawan dengan orang dah nak mati lemas. Orang dah nak mati lemas ini akan capai apa saja sekuat tenaga untuk menyelamatkan diri. Dengan kita sekali akan ditarik masuk dalam air.

PACA inilah benteng terakhir kita setelah berkempen dan berdoa sejak 2008. Bukan sedikit tenaga dan wang ringgit telah dicurahkan disitu.

Amanah yg diletakkan diatas bahu para PACA bukannya kecik ditambah pula dgn kuasa yg amat terbatas.

Jadi untuk para sukarelawan PACA yg mewakili PAS kali ni, kita hantar mereka bertugas dgn diiringi lagu Perwiraku dendangan Saloma bersama isak tangis sedu sedan. Ha ha ha..

Semoga bila kita menang, petrol turun harga, tol dimansuhkan, PTPTN kira langsai, kita akan akhiri dengan ketawa berdekah-dekah.

Kah kah kah!!!

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