Librarian @ Home

"We Have to Go Together"

2011-02-02T14:09:00.001-05:00

As you know, in my last post, I whined a lot and somehow managed to take out my winter blahs on the two Senators from Kentucky. At the time, I anticipated Mitch McConnell's appearance on Meet the Press would be a sharply critical, obstructionist attack on everything President Obama laid out in his January 25th State of the Union address...

However, Egypt changed everything. I can only assume McConnell's booking was cut short so that David Gregory could talk with Secretary of State Hilary Clinton about the continued unrest in Egypt -- and rightly so.

Still, McConnell made an appearance* and even moved on from talk of Egypt to domestic issues. True, he did not once utter the words "Kentucky" or "Kentuckians," but he did make one compelling statement that I can't seem to forget: "We have to go together."

He said this not once, but twice: "We have to go together."

McConnell was responding to the question of entitlement reform, which folks all across the political spectrum agree is an essential component of cutting back on the U.S. budget deficit. (According to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, entitlement programs like Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid comprised more than 40% of the Federal Budget in 2010. The Department of Defense adds another 20%. These programs are often seen as untouchable, but it is becoming more and more clear that we will not be able to bring down the deficit if 60% of the Budget is untouchable and, therefore, cannot be cut.**)

Republicans promised to cut spending in the 2010 Midterms. The problem is, now that a majority of them have been seated in the House, they are much more cautious about tightening the federal government's belt. You see, spending cuts are not so popular with constituents who don't want their benefits slashed, making such legislation a risky move for representatives who want to get re-elected in 2012.

And it's not just Republicans; the hesitancy to enact unpopular, but necessary reform exists for Democrats as well. No one wants to be attacked as the politician who stole from senior citizens...especially in a 30-second TV spot during the next election cycle.

And yet, the fact remains: We cannot afford to continue down this path.

On Sunday David Gregory alluded to the political maneuvering that ensues. Who will present their plan for entitlement reform first: Republicans or Democrats? In typical Washington style, it is projected that whichever side goes first will have the disadvantage of being cast by the other side as the party who robbed the American people of benefits -- even though both parties believe that benefits must be cut to sustain programs like Social Security. The hypocrisy and double-dealing turns my stomach!

The solution to this strategic dilemma? As McConnell wisely asserted: "We have to go together."

Only time will tell if my Senator (or anyone else in Washington) will stick to all the good faith that's been percolating about Capitol Hill in the wake of the Tucson Massacre...but here's one Kentuckian, one hopeful citizen who would like to see Congress and the White House "go together" on entitlement reform and many of the other big issues we face.

So, enough of the political maneuvering, Congress. Enough strategic power plays. We did not elect you to acquire power for yourselves or your party. We elected you to solve problems. So do it! Go together. Get in a room, figure it out, and then tell us all about your plan -- your bipartisan plan to make Social Security sustainable for another generation.

Now...is that too much to ask?

Jaelithe, the Librarian @ Home, (who has become a little more politicky than she ever intended to be)

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*Click here to read a transcript of the January 30, 2011 broadcast of Meet the Press

**What's a Librarian to do? After about 30 minutes of plowing through the 2010 Federal Budget, I gave up on my quest for a primary source of this data and succumbed to the CBPP's data. The CBPP describes itself as "producing materials that are balanced (and) authoritative" and even have a shout out from Ezra Klein on their webpage. So...I am using this source and moving on. If I were your friendly neighborhood reference librarian, being paid by the hour and benefiting from ridiculously low premiums on health insurance, then believe me, I wouldn't give up so easily! However, this SAHM has potatoes to peel and laundry to fold...

Lost in Space

2011-01-28T16:47:00.003-05:00

Last week I had a long conversation with an old friend, during which I confessed that I've been a little out of touch these days.

"I'm not sure where I've been, lately. Just lost. Mentally lost in space."

I've been bored. Restless. Snowed in. Tired. And did I mention...bored?

"You've just been so...itchy," the Husband said a couple weeks ago. Which is quite an interesting word choice because we celebrated our seven-year anniversary last August. Could this be the Seven-Year Itch? I'm pretty certain my restlessness doesn't have anything to do with my marriage.

Before I track down a DVD of the Marilyn Monroe film for research...maybe I should revisit Betty Friedan's classic, The Feminine Mystic, in which she discusses the "problem without a name," a sense of dissatisfaction experienced by American housewives in the 1960s.

Is my current state at all similar to that of housewives 50 years ago? Educated women spending their days at home with dirty dishes, dirty diapers, and dirty laundry? Isn't it different for us now, after the Second Feminist Wave, now that Dads are more involved, now that we have the Internet, Facebook, and cable TV?

Anytime I mention my boredom to another at-home mom, I am invited to another play-date. And while I'm so grateful for their generosity, for their offering of time and company (really I am), I think the last thing I need is another play-date.

But what do I need? That is what I don't know.

So what do you think? Is this just the winter blues? Is it time for me to go back to work? Or, is it time for another baby? Maybe I should just blog more, and whine less.

Truth be told, I am bummed about a few things: Keith Olbermann's split from MSNBC last week was a bit disconcerting, especially considering the fact that I was not tuned in last Friday night and didn't even get a chance to witness the live goodbye. I have been a Countdown viewer for nearly three years, and now, with little warning, it airs no more.

While I'm on the topic of politics, I've got to admit I continue to be bummed that during this time when our nation faces such huge problems, when so much is at stake...I live in a state where both Senators seem more interested in the agenda of their political parties (GOP and TEA) than the welfare of Kentuckians. Seriously, I never hear either of them say anything to the national media about what they intend to do for Kentucky. It's all "Tea Party" this and "ruin Obama" that. McConnell is scheduled for Meet the Press this Sunday, and I intend to tune in and see if he has anything -- anything at all -- to say about Kentucky, or if it'll be more of his grumpy talk about ensuring that Obama doesn't get a second term.

Like any good wife, I can also "blame" the Husband for bumming me out. I've got two beefs with him right now. First, a few weeks before Christmas, anticipating the flood of new toys, the Husband turned our dining room into a playroom. It is magic, pure magic, to have the Bear gated in there, flipping through her books while I'm working nearby. But it is also devastating (just a little), because my dining room is now a friggin' playroom!!! It's as if we have admitted defeat. We have surrendered, and the toys won...the kid stuff won!

My second beef with the Husband is that he put us on a money diet. It is just what we need after the gluttony of the holidays; it is just what we need to pay for college (ours first, then the Bear's) and reach some other financial goals. Generally speaking, I enjoy a little belt-tightening and penny-pinching, and I am well aware that people all around me are struggling financially in ways that we have never struggled. But when your personal allowance is slashed by 66%...you tend to feel a bit devastated (just a little). And so, if teasing the Husband, (say, calling him the Rand Paul of the household) helps ease that devastation....Well, it does.

All in all, I love my life. I love, love, love the Husband and I love, love, love the Bear. My gut just keeps filling up with a mix of euphoria and dread, with this sense that there is so much to do and say...and yet, I'm not acting on it because I'm not sure what it is I am supposed to do or say...

Any ideas?

Jaelithe

More X, Less Y: My Hopes for 2011

2010-12-31T16:05:00.002-05:00

Hello again, readers. I hope you enjoyed the Holidays and find yourself ready for a fresh start!

As the clock ticks 2010 into history, I have been reflecting on the past and anticipating the clean slate of January 1.

For my family, 2010 was filled with several little milestones: I started this blog and started getting together every month or so with a group of Moms in my neighborhood, both of which have been really fulfilling. We took our first family vacation. The Bear started walking and talking. The Bear started preschool. The Husband finally got a surround sound system. (Two long years after we finished our basement!) The Doodles continued her pursuits of brief, maniacal bark-fests in the backyard followed by long, seemingly endless naps.

2010 also brought two precious little babies into our lives, and I would be remiss to neglect mentioning both. In March, the daughter of my best friend from childhood was born. We have not met her yet (as she lives states away) but hope that 2011 will give us the opportunity to hold her in our arms and hear her precious laugh.

In September we welcomed our nephew and godson. He is the sweetest little baby, and my sister-in-law makes life with a toddler and a newborn look so effortless that the Husband and I just might reconsider all our "one and done" talk.

This week I have been thinking a lot about the upcoming year and how I might reinvent myself in 2011. I do this every year and find it a productive exercise -- even if few of my resolutions ever stick past Valentine's Day! I love a lot about my life, but I also enjoy the hope of new possibilities.

This week I kept thinking of the phrase "More Joy, Less Shame" which is the title of an Ani DiFranco EP that features several remixes of her song "Joyful Girl." I really like how this phrase states an intention in a way that is specific, but not so specific and far-reaching that accomplishing it seems impossible.

And so...as I resolve to improve myself in the new year, I find myself thinking of resolutions that mirror DiFranco's phrasing. Here they are:

More giving, less taking

More fruits and vegetables, less empty carbs

More exercise, less excuses not to exercise

More weekends attending church, less excuses to stay home

More praying, less worrying

More gratefulness, less wanting what I don't have

More moments in the moment with my family, less moments captivated by something stupid on the television

More reading, less wishing I had more time to read

More calls and emails to friends, less "Oh my gosh, I have been meaning to call you, but I have been so busy!"

More action, less talk

Please share your hopes for 2011. What do you want more of? What do you want less of?

Happy new year!

Jaelithe

November in Review, Part I: SICKNESS, CHICKEN, AND PIE

2010-12-01T23:23:00.002-05:00

Rabbit, rabbit! Today is December 1!

Wait, wasn't it just November 1?

Seriously, um...what??? For me much of the last 30 days has been a manic blur...All apologies to my followers who've missed reading my posts. (Yes, to the one or two of you who noticed my silence, I'm so sorry! And by the way, it was so nice of you to notice!)

Obviously, I overdramatize, but in all seriousness, this budding blogger is supposed to be posting at least once a week (preferably twice). That is my commitment to myself...something that is necessary to build my audience. But in November...I blew it!

For the most part, November 2010 was a month filled with sickness (of the common cold variety) and my own crazy pursuits (which did not include blogging).

Yes, blogging regularly became a distant goal in the face of a sick Bear, who got me sick, and then the Husband...and then me again! Last week, during Cold #2 I slept three nights on the pull-out couch in the basement just so the Husband could sleep peacefully while I tossed and turned amidst hacking coughs and repeated nose-blowing misery. Thankfully, the Doodles was there, a warm ball of snoring fur, who was so pleased to have a napping companion that she did not seem to mind all the common cold commotion.

I think -- and I say this ever fearful of the possibility that I could jinx us all -- but I think we are all better now. And hopefully, we will stay healthy into the new year.

Common cold be damned, because, as I reflect on November, I realize that I did a lot -- despite the cold. The Husband and I celebrated our "anniversary" (more on that later) and then the Husband's "double three" birthday. Also, in between Cold #1 and Cold #2 this home cook threw her own little "Chicken Fest" which entailed roasting a whole chicken, preparing homemade chicken stock, and using leftover chicken to make other meals. (And yes, I intend to post on Chicken Fest in the near future!)

I suppose I cannot mention Chicken Fest without also telling this funny (albeit embarrassing) story: Chicken Fest really only happened because I was at Whole Foods early one Monday hoping to pick up a roaster chicken ($5.99 special on Mondays). Little did I know, the chickens don't come out of the oven until 10:30. Who knew? Not wanting to wait, I decided to roast a chicken myself. Fortuitously, I had the iPad with me so I looked up the Barefoot Contessa's roasted chicken recipe, picked up the ingredients and got to work. Little did I know, by the time Whole Food's chickens were out of the oven, I was back at the store, telling the customer service desk: "Yes, I'm the idiot who left her iPad in a shopping cart in the parking lot..."

And then there was "Pie Fest"! I made an apple pie for the Husband's birthday (one of his favorites) and the week of Thanksgiving I made three pumpkin pies, one squash pie, and one sorghum pecan pie. That's six pies for those of you keeping track at home. And I have one more crust in the freezer! Pie Fest started sometime after Cold #1 but continued into Cold #2. Consequently, Pie Fest involved a lot of OCD-style hand washing. I also baked with a drywall mask over my mouth and nose (until the Vick's Vapor Rub I'd applied on my upper lip started burning my eyes). On Thanksgiving Day I told the fam that although I'd practiced the best ever kitchen hygiene, they wouldn't hurt my feelings a bit if they opted to pass on the pies. (After all, that would just leave more pie for me!)

I suppose it's a good thing I started a fitness program just a few weeks before Thanksgiving. I'm not sure exactly what motivated me to do so -- the friend who suspected (incorrectly) that I was pregnant, or perhaps my own sense that I'd be eating a lot of pie in the near future. I was standing in line at the supermarket when I saw one of those Prevention booklets with this headline: "Walk Off 10 Pounds in Four Weeks." On impulse I bought it, knowing that I would have to stick to it for at least a month (or else face ridicule from the Husband for blowing $4 on an impulse buy that was later tossed into the recycle bin).

Right now I'm in week three of the plan. Truth be told, Cold #1 and Cold #2, combined with the flurry of Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday have prevented me from sticking to the plan as faithfully as I'd hoped. I'm not even sure I've lost a single pound, but at this point I don't really care because I've had so much more energy during these last three weeks that I actually look forward to my nightly date with the treadmill. Also, on Black Friday I bought a pair of Ann Taylor Loft cords in a size I hadn't purchased since before becoming pregnant with the Bear. So...considering the volume of pie crust I've consumed in the last week (both raw and cooked), even though the number on the scale hasn't changed all that much, this walking program is looking like a success...

Geez, it sure is getting late! And I haven't even gotten into all my crazy pursuits. I will definitely have to get to all that later.

To be continued,

Jaelithe

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like...Planning!

2010-11-01T12:11:00.008-04:00

Rabbit, rabbit! Today is November 1. This morning I dropped The Bear off at nursery school and headed over to Target to check out the Halloween clearance and pick up a few necessary items (i.e. dishwasher detergent -- Target has the best price on my brand -- and a storage bin for all those adorable 12 to 18-month summer clothes that are on their way to my in-laws' attic. Thanks again for the storage space, dear parents of The Husband!)

As usual, The Doodles hates her costume.

Although I struggled with my desire for an outdoor light-up pumpkin, ultimately, I was able to resist all of Target's half-price Halloween decor -- even the dog costumes. (But wouldn't The Doodles just love to be a banana split next year...? No, she wouldn't. No, no, no!)

I'm not sure which it was: the Halloween clearance or the small army of Target employees unpacking holiday ornaments, but I started thinking about everything I need to do to prepare for the upcoming Holiday blitz, which is when I decided to share my checklist with you. After all, to plan to plan is to plan to succeed, right? Here's my first draft:

Scheduling: talk to family about dates and finalize. Get it all on the calendar! (This includes Thanksgiving, decorating the tree, and any group shopping days). Invite family to any special events now, so that they can plan, too. (For us, this includes Thanksgiving Mass and The Bear's Preschool Christmas program).

Gifting: Plan gift budget, start asking/brainstorming for gift ideas. Look for sales/coupons and begin shopping! (Later: start wrapping! Some people wrap as they go, but I prefer to pop White Christmas in the DVD player and have a wrapping marathon a little later in the season).

Housework: Clear the clutter and banish any dust bunnies...Now! Clean out closets, drawers, cabinets, etc. (This will help you keep a clear head and make space for gifts, guests, etc.) Also, do you need/want to purchase any decor for your home? If so, add items to your shopping list (seeking spousal approval first, if needed...ha, ha!) and then promise to stick to your list. (This last bit keeps me from losing my mind at Target and buying a bunch of junk I don't need!)

Clothes: Determine what you (and your spouse and children) will wear to all these holiday events/gatherings. Borrow and/or shop for what you don't already have. Make sure clothing is clean and pressed. Don't forget accessories.

Greetings: Update address book. Print mailing labels. Plan Christmas card. (For us this involves picking a setting, having The Husband take a picture of The Bear, and then having me design and order the card online at Walgreens.com.) Order stamps online.

Food: Consult schedule to determine what you need to bring where and when. Look online and through holiday recipe books to determine what you will bring where and when. Make shopping lists (divided into pantry and perishable ingredients). Be on the lookout for sales/coupons so that you might save money on your ingredients. Around December 1, purchase the pantry ingredients and store. (Also, if possible mix together any dry ingredients in advance. You can label them and store in pyrex bowls). In the meantime, since you will be busy, stock the freezer with easy weeknight meals and, while you're at it, go ahead and make some pie crusts to freeze. (I hope to elaborate on this later!)

Geez, typing this out made me tired! That's all I've got so far, but I intend to add anything else I find myself contemplating (or diving into without contemplating!).

Please comment and share what you are doing to get ready for the holidays!

L@H

P.S. I am going to store my plan in a word processing document, so that I can easily revise it over the next several weeks. And then, next November 1, I will be able to pull it out without reinventing the wheel!

Me, Sarah Palin, and The Universe

2010-10-26T10:57:00.001-04:00

I’d jump at the chance to sit down and have a beer with Sarah Palin, but that doesn’t mean I like her politics. Without outlining my political persuasions (which would probably take some research on my part!) let me just say I’m not a fan. I am not and have never been a fan of Sarah Palin.

And yet, ever since she became a household name, I have this recurring internal conflict. It’s like the Universe keeps tapping me on the shoulder, and every time I turn around some vestige of Palin is there. I’m not sure why this keeps happening. Maybe it’s the Universe’s way of reminding me that in this era of such intense political polarization, we are all more alike than I realize.

Yes, Palin and I could probably sit down and talk about motherhood, fashion eyewear, and the media’s super lousy representations of women without getting into all that other stuff...But then, all that other stuff is what creates so much conflict for me when the Universe starts up with its Palin nudgings...

It started at a 2008 family Christmas party, when one of the Husband’s younger cousins said what I had been bracing myself for, for more than three months. After election day, I had thought I was out of the woods. But then, on that Saturday in December, I heard it:

“Hey, you look like the Governor of Alaska.”

I was 7 months pregnant with the Bear and had just failed my first gestational diabetes test, which meant, according to the docs, no added sugar until delivery day. (Which meant, according to me, no holiday sweets...are you kidding? I will admit that I ate a small brownie and a single piece of fudge, but this, in the face of my in-laws' dessert buffet, was a Christmas miracle!)

Sugar-free me was no party (just ask the Husband), but I managed to keep my cool with the kids, who began calling things like Hey Sarah Palin! every time I was near.

Just to be clear, I don’t think I look like Sarah Palin. But I’m a brunette who wears glasses somewhat similar in style to hers, and at the time I was following the “don’t cut your hair while pregnant” rule (which I read about in the Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy) so my hair, which is usually short, was getting pretty long.

All things considered, I think the glasses were my biggest problem. For the record, I purchased my silver rimmed Vogue eyeglasses in the Fall of 2007, long before Sarah Palin was on the radar of most people in the Lower 48. My chief concern, up until the Christmas party, was that someone would take a look at my glasses and think I was trying to imitate Governor Palin. (I wasn’t).

The next spring I was at a family gathering when my grandmother cut me off mid-sentence with this remark: “You know who you look like, don’t you?”

I shrugged, thinking she would mention a family member as we were in a room filled with relatives.

“The Governor of Alaska,” she announced proudly.

If there was a smile on my face, it faded. “Really?”

“She’s a very smart lady.” my grandmother replied quickly, as if she sensed my discomfort with the comparison. “Very smart.”

“Really?”

I’d like to assert right now that I love my grandmother dearly, and I don’t have any particular beef with Sarah Palin, but I’m not sure she’s a very smart lady. I’m glad she’s not the Vice President (because, as suggested above, I disagree with a lot of her political positions and tactics). I’m also not impressed with her early resignation as Governor, but I don’t live in Alaska, so she was never my Governor to begin with.

(And then again, maybe she is very smart. ABC News reported that she earned an estimated $12 million in the nine months following her resignation).

Look, I’m not writing this to call Palin an idiot. (After all, isn’t that Keith Olberman’s schtick?) It’s just disappointing that this history-making female politician (first female on the Republican presidential ticket, and all...), lacks the intellectual chops. I know this is why so many people like her. We can relate to her, they say. She’s one of us.

I guess I just don’t want “one of us” in the Whitehouse running the country, you know? I’d prefer to have someone who was better educated and in possession of sharper critical thinking skills than most of “us.”

And so, I find myself a little troubled by the idea that someone (anyone) might take one look at me, notice some physical similarities with Palin, and then make the leap and assume that these physical similarities translate to political similarities...Or (heaven forbid) assume that my likeness with Palin is a consequence of efforts on my part to resemble her.

A few months after this exchange with my grandmother, The Husband and I started watching Thirty Rock on DVD and by the end of the first season, he confessed “I think I might have a little crush on Liz Lemon.”

So okay...maybe being compared to Palin is not all bad, especially when it aligns me with the likes of Tina Fey.

(Just for the record, The Husband claims he never said he had a crush on Liz Lemon or Tina Fey...but I swear, he totally did! Although...at the time I was a bit sleep deprived, nursing my sweet young baby who refused to sleep through the night, so I guess you’ll have to decide who you want to believe...)

Several weekends ago, The Bear spent the night with my parents and a pesky sore throat sent The Husband off to the doctor, leaving me with the opportunity to pull up the Sarah Palin cover article from October’s Vanity Fair, curl up with my iPad and a cup of coffee, and read quietly while the sun streamed into our living room.

This article, by Michael Joseph Gross, has been quite controversial since it hit the newsstands in early September. Even the Huffington Post called it “somewhat questionably sourced.” Still, I tend to have faith in the integrity of journalists. (Perhaps as a result of my B.A. in journalism?) I read Gross’s response to criticism of his article and also caught an interview with him on Morning Joe, during which he made the case for the integrity and accuracy of his reporting. And while I have no intention of defending Gross or proclaiming the veracity of his work (after all, I’ve never met him or any of his sources), I can say that I found both his response and his spot on Morning Joe highly plausible and compelling.

When I finished the Vanity Fair article, despite the fact that I am not at all a Palin fan, I felt something I wasn’t expecting to feel: sad. One paragraph in particular really tugged at me:

After starting her new career as a national figure, Palin disengaged from the community. When in Wasilla, she rarely leaves the house. At her favorite coffee shop, Mocha Moose, Palin has been seen only once in the past three months. On those occasions when she goes to Church on the Rock, she usually arrives late, leaves early, and sits in the back. For runs to Target, she waits until it’s almost closing time...Her Wasilla social circle has narrowed practically to nothing.

Despite my dislike of Palin the politician and regardless of my discomfort with being told I look like her, there is something almost heartbreaking about a woman thrust into the national spotlight without her community behind her all the way. A mass of Birthers, Deathers, and Tea Partiers has jumped aboard, but many of those nearest and dearest friends from her formative years are no longer on the bandwagon. It’s just a little wrenching...don’t you think?

Beside our house runs an alley that remains incomplete since our homes were built in 2006. Thanks to some gravel, it is passable, but it is not complete (if you’re reading this City of Louisville, step on it! We’ve been calling and emailing for years!). Last summer a mechanic opened shop in a garage that faces the alley, and he is a super nice guy who does quality work at a fair price.

But seriously, out of all the alleys and all the mechanics in all the cities and towns on this planet, it turns out that the guy in my alley is from...Wasilla, Alaska.

Small world, huh? So someone who grew up in Wasilla and knows the Palins and considers them a “very nice family,” is now oh so close to my pin on Google Maps. How about that?

I’m not sure the significance of this. There is none, really. Still, I cannot help but think that the Universe is trying to tell me something.

Jaelithe, the Librarian @ Home

Review: The Duchess

2010-10-19T11:09:00.001-04:00

This weekend the Husband and I ate way too much pumpkin cheesecake, watched way too many episodes of The Office Season 6 (Confession: I teared up a bit when Jim and Pam got married), and dreamed way too much about owning lakefront property. We took a short trip to Kentucky’s Taylorsville Lake where we hiked, taking turns carrying The Bear on our shoulders while our feet crunched leaves underfoot. It was the perfect fall activity on a perfect fall day.

Nevertheless, as much as I enjoyed time outside with my two favorite people, occasionally I would feel a knot tighten in my chest. Ugh, why do I have such a sick feeling? I would wonder. Is this the Sunday Blues?

No, I soon realized, not the Sunday Blues, but a consequence of remembering the movie I’d watched the evening before: The Duchess, starring Keira Knightley and Ralph Fiennes.

In my scorebook, the first measure of a movie’s quality is whether or not I think about it a lot the next day. And while I consider The Duchess a good movie, I’m not sure whether I was thinking about it during our hike or whether my body was simply recalling the physiological reaction I had to the film.

In short, this movie is painful to watch. Despite skilled actors and exquisite costumes, viewing it was pure agony -- largely because of the 18th Century, aristocratic, English society that forced Georgiana, the Duchess of Devonshire, to remain in a loveless marriage. Her husband, the Duke of Devonshire, blames her for being unable to produce a son. (Creep! As if this were something she could control!) and screws just about anything that walks. In one scene he takes Georgiana to bed just after she has watched a naked woman flee his room. (For heaven’s sake, man, change the sheets and take a shower before bringing your wife to your already sex-soiled bed!) One of the most “painful to watch” scenes of the film is when the Duke rapes Georgiana. As she screams, servants move about in earshot, helpless to aid their mistress.

Yes, the double standards of this time are physically sickening to this modern woman. Georgiana was forced to accept her husband’s lover into their household but forbidden to continue a relationship with her true love, Charles Grey (or else, the Duke threatened, she would never see her children again). Early in the film, Georgina is presented with the Duke’s illegitimate daughter and chooses to raise the child as her own. In contrast, years later he forces her to give up a child she conceived with Grey.

This film is based on the nonfiction book, Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire by Oxford scholar Amanda Foreman, and because the film has left me hungry for more details about Georgiana’s life, I am certainly adding the book to my wish list.

I wanted to watch this film largely because of my interest in aristocratic society during 18th and 19th Century England. Granted, this interest is not based on fact but fiction. I have been known at times to enjoy reading historical romance novels, specifically those written by Judith McNaught. These guilty pleasures are most often set in the decades after Georgiana’s death, but involve characters who, like Georgiana, are members of England’s high society. Heroines often live a glamorous (albeit frivolous) life filled with fashion and parties, but very often find themselves hugely limited by the dictates of society -- much like Georgiana.

But Georgina’s reality diverges quite sharply from these fantasy novels. For Georgiana there is no happy ending (at least not in the film), because she is unable to change her circumstances. Georgiana was imprisoned by her cruel, seemingly heartless husband, unlike the romance novel heroine, who might be imprisoned by social dictates, but is essentially set free by a kind, generous, powerful husband who (by the novel’s conclusion) is so in love with her that he will do anything to please her.

I remember watching trailers of The Duchess when I still worked in collection development. (Librarians stay abreast of any upcoming book to film releases and, budget permitting, ensure there are plenty of copies when library patrons start asking for the book...Yet another reason why librarians are awesome!) Last week, when I added The Duchess to our Netflix instant queue, I recalled that the story did not end happily, but I presumed it was a love story, focusing on the relationship between Georgiana and Charles Grey.

Just to be clear, this movie is not a love story; it is more of a hate story, focusing on the relationship between Georginia and her husband. So if you want a love story, consider checking out McNaught’s novels. (See my post script below).

Recommended for those who enjoy period pieces, who can tolerate British accents and unhappy endings, and who don’t mind experiencing the sudden urge to strangle Ralph Fiennes.

If you have seen this film, I would love to hear your thoughts!

L@H

P.S. For those interested in Judith McNaught’s novels... My absolute favorites are:

I think I’ve read most of these books three, if not four times. Be forewarned: McNaught's stories just might take over your whole existence. I haven’t read any of her books in years, because for me they are so transporting, so engaging, that whenever I’m in the midst of one, I seldom accomplish anything else! The Husband doesn’t really like this, and I can only imagine that The Bear and The Doodles would feel the same... If you are a JM fan, I would love to hear from you! For more information check out a fan’s website: McNaughtized.com

Plenty in the Season of Excess

2010-10-11T13:49:00.004-04:00

The Bear meets a jack-o-lantern

Okay, so I know it's only October 11, but everywhere I turned this weekend, I saw people and places (myself included) gearing up for the holiday season. Pumpkin Pie. Newly hired seasonal retail staff in training. And me, thinking about what to get The Husband for his birthday next month.

And me, fortuitously scheduling a hair appointment in early December. (I always want a fresh haircut for all the holiday festivities, and I always think about it at the last minute. By then, my salon is booked solid, but this year it's in the bag. Score!)

Yes, the holiday season is just around the corner. Here in Kentucky it is unseasonably warm. And as much as I want to bring all my Halloween and fall decor up from the basement, I'm having trouble getting in the mood when it's almost 90 degrees outside. Is this weather indicative of global warming? Who knows. I think scientists can only point to longer-term climate shifts as evidence. However, a hot sunny day in October makes me think of our climate crisis and all the excess that has led us to this point.

On Saturday, I went to Hallmark's Fall Ornament Open House, and as I was waiting to purchase my Switzerland Santa, I started thinking about the impending holiday season and making promises to myself about how I wanted it to go:

I will not get too busy to enjoy it. I will not spend a weekend making five different candies only to give a little away and eat all the rest. I will not become a crazed shopper, studying the sale ads for hours, leaving the house at 6 a.m. just to beat the traffic and score all the good deals.

I will not! I will not! I will not!

Instead I will focus on quality time with my family. I will go to church every week of advent. I will shop early and gift wrap soon after. I will not get too busy to exercise. I will not bake too much, and above all else, I will not eat like it's my last month on earth!

Spring Mill

Yesterday I recalled these intentions for a simple, sane holiday season when The Husband, The Bear, and I visited the Pioneer Village at Spring Mill State Park in Mitchell, Indiana. This had been a frequent destination of my youth, and I was excited to share it with my family. I don't believe I've visited this village for the better part of a decade, and for the first time ever, I basked in the history of the place. (I probably have my stint as a local history/genealogy librarian to thank for that!)

The Husband kindly followed The Bear around the mill, showing her corn husk dolls and wooden toys. (Read: keeping her from doing any damage to herself and/or the place!) while I listened to a man in period garb discuss all the complexities of the engineering, all the time and sweat and money invested into a design that moved water from a creek to a wheel, that in turn moved other wheels, all to make one giant, 3,000 pound stone grind corn.

There's no doubt, pioneers had to devote a lot of resources just to complete what we would now consider simple tasks. This morning, without cutting down trees, building a mill, diverting a stream, and then slowly hauling a giant rock from North Carolina, I was able to grind a half cup of coffee beans in about 20 seconds. (And I didn't have to grow the beans myself, either!) Modern conveniences leave so much room for excess, and at times, I think I could be the poster child: Too much coffee, too much food, too much stuff! And then...during these final months of the year, it all goes even more overboard.

Still, this is my favorite time of year! I love the multi-colored leaves, the smell of pumpkin pie, the pleasure of a crackling fire. I love how it leads to Thanksgiving and then on to Christmas. I love the food, especially the sweets like bourbon balls and rocky-road fudge. And I love, love, love the shopping, love working my way through the mall crowds, eggnog latte in hand. I get on a holiday high, and I want to eat it all up before it's gone, which usually leaves me overstuffed, overwhelmed, and exhausted.

But this year, I'm hoping to be different. I'm hoping to be better. I will be tempted to overindulge and to overspend, but I'm giving myself one word to help me through this season: plenty.

I have more than plenty, and this year, I intend to live like I know it.

L@H

Librarian NOT @ Home: South Dakota (Bibliography)

2010-10-08T15:29:00.012-04:00

Books We Purchased BEFORE Our Trip

The Husband ordered these two South Dakota travel books from Amazon, so I had no hand in their selection. It is possible there are better travel books on this area of the country...Regardless, these served us well, especially because we had assumed we would use our iPad to get directions and other information, but found the reach of our AT&T network somewhat lacking in the more remote parts of these hills. (Stupid city folk!)

What we really needed, that we could not find in either of these books or in any visitor's center, was a more detailed map of some of the smaller tourist towns, like Keystone and Custer.

South Dakota: An Explorer's Guide

About two days into our trip, I started referring to this book as the "good" book. (Not to be confused with the Bible, of course).

"Hand me the South Dakota book," I said to The Husband, who tossed me the book pictured below. I shook my head. "No, no, this is the bad book. Hand me the good book."

"I didn't realize one was good and the other was bad," The Husband answered...and he was right. This one really isn't any better or worse than the other; both have their own strengths and weaknesses.

Nevertheless, during our trip I relied heavily on this guide, largely because its contents were organized by town. So, for example, when we were passing through Spearfish, SD, I could turn to the section on Spearfish and find all the information on dining, lodging, entertainment, shopping, and family friendly activities right there in one place.

Had I been the one selecting the books, I might have bypassed this title, because it covers travel in the whole state of South Dakota and we were planning to spend most of our time in the Black Hills. (I'm guessing I would have seen other options focused primarily on the Black Hills and assumed these might be more thorough.)

A few of the restaurant reviews made places sound a lot better than they actually were, but this might have more to do with the fact that The Husband and I, on occasion, have worried that we just might be food snobs. Black and white photographs break up the text and offer readers a glimpse of the area. Recommended for travelers, particularly those who want an overview of the entire state.

Insiders' Guide to South Dakota's Black Hills and Badlands, 5th edition

Okay, so this book doesn't deserve to be called the "bad" book. Not at all. But as I alluded to above, the "good" book was organized by town, which I found useful, and this book was not, which made me a little nuts. In this book all the dining recommendations were in one chapter, all the attractions were listed in another chapter, and so on and so forth.

Nevertheless, by the end of our week in South Dakota, this book was my favorite. The dining recommendations were a little more in line with our tastes, and I really enjoyed the "Area Overview" and "History" chapters. I think this book's focus on the Black Hills and Badlands area gave the authors more room to go into detail. In addition to the historical and cultural overview, the book also informs those planning to move to the area with chapters on relocating, retirement, and child care. Furthermore, there is a chapter that discusses faiths practiced in this region of the country, including Christianity, Judaism, and Native American spirituality.

Recommended for those traveling or relocating to the Black Hills, particularly those with an interest in learning more about the region's culture.

Books We Purchased DURING Our Trip

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West

I have to admit, I've never been all that interested in Native American cultures. I respect these cultures, but I've never wanted to sit down and read, read, read all about Native American History.

And then, something about this trip changed all that...I'm not sure what or why, but I found myself very interested and yearning to learn more. Of course, there was little time to delve into this while we were traveling, and although I wanted to visit the Wounded Knee Museum in Wall, SD, a pamphlet warned that its exhibits were not appropriate for young children. (I will have to spend some time on their webpage, which looks to have quite a bit of content.)

We were browsing the bookstore at Wall Drug, when The Husband pointed out this book and mentioned he'd like to read it. At the time, I had been skimming the back of 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus, which also appears to be an interesting read. A few days later, we were at the Crazy Horse Memorial when I saw both books again. I wanted to purchase something in the gift shop (so we could do our part to support the organization). Naturally, I decided to buy a book.

I selected Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee because I knew The Husband would read it. In all honesty, I cannot say whether I will ever read either title mentioned above. (I do most of my reading before bed and am usually way too tired for anything too intellectually stimulating!) Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee is currently on The Husband's nightstand, so I will have to give you his review (especially if I cannot provide my own).

Who Carved the Mountain?: The Story of Mount Rushmore

I bought this for The Bear in the gift shop at Mount Rushmore. I wanted her to have a keepsake of her trip to this national monument, especially because she will not remember it. This book is not at all age appropriate for her now, but when she is in elementary school, it promises to be a tool for her to learn about this treasured monument and these four presidents. Unfortunately, the book does not address the fact that many Native Americans believed the white men who dynamited and carved into the Black Hills were defiling sacred ground...but I suppose Mommy will have to fill in those blanks.

America's First Ladies Coloring Book

This keepsake is another purchase at the Mount Rushmore gift shop. I have been known to store items like this in an archival box because... "I just know it'll be worth something some day!" (Yep, I'm that person. I also own President Barack Obama Paper Dolls). When I first showed this coloring book to The Husband he said, "No fair! You'll never let The Bear color in it." And he's right. I won't.

~~Books We Purchased AFTER our Trip~~
Film We Viewed AFTER Our Trip

Dances with Wolves

We instant-Netflixed this our first night home from South Dakota. All week we had come across information about the filming of this movie, and Kevin Costner's role in the revitalization of Deadwood, SD, so I wanted to watch it.

I had seen the film at some point in the early 90's when I was probably about 13, but the only thing I remembered was the hero and heroine riding off at the end.

I really enjoyed watching Dances with Wolves as an adult. The scenery and the story were beautiful. The three hours did not seem never-ending (as I have often heard it told!), but perhaps my experience was clouded by my post-vacation reunion with The Doodles, who snored peacefully in my lap the entire 180+ minutes.

During the opening credits I said to The Husband. "Well, is this a classic or is it going to be dated? If it's a classic, we'll really believe it's the late 19th Century. Otherwise, we'll be able to tell it was filmed in the late 20th Century."

Truth be told, there were a few cheesy, early 1990s kind of moments, and by the end, Kevin Costner is sporting a mullet, but this movie is definitely a classic. It is the kind of film you think about a lot the next day. I highly recommend a revisit for those of you who haven't seen it in a decade or two.

Librarian NOT @ Home: South Dakota

2010-10-06T22:19:00.001-04:00

On a hiking trail in South Dakota's Custer State Park

Last week, The Husband, The Bear, and I went on our first official family vacation in the beautiful Black Hills of South Dakota. (Don't worry, The Doodles had a perfectly fine time at home with long, peaceful days, followed by evenings under the attentive care of a librarian pet sitter. In fact, now that I think of it, we've used two pet sitters since we got The Doodles and both are library folk. She says she wouldn't have it any other way, which I think is a little weird, but I admire her loyalty to the profession.)

The vacation was good and desperately needed by The Husband, who I think took one day off to go to Holiday World with the fam this summer, but otherwise had yet to take any vacation time in 2010.

Mommy confession: I found it a little frustrating to travel with a toddler. I missed reading on the airplane, taking the time to read museum and state park exhibits in their entirety, and taking at least one night to drink ourselves a little silly (which for me doesn't take much more than a couple beers!)

Still, I wouldn't trade the Bear for any of these little traveler's luxuries. And besides, The Bear has officially proved herself a super duper little trooper! She spent long hours on airplanes, in car seats, and riding in a backpack child carrier while we hiked. During the trip, she mastered three new phrases: "Get out," "Get down," and "Go home." I'm not sure whether she wanted to go to our house in Louisville or the cabin we rented in Hill City, SD... Her cutest moment was an inexplicable fear of pinecones, which The Husband somehow managed to transform into a love of the objects -- particularly The Bear's own "Baby Piney-Coney" that she carried with her for several miles the day we hiked our way up Harney Peak (which is the highest mountain east of the Rockies and west of the Swiss Alps).

Aside from the large quantities of time we got to spend together, my favorite part of the trip was all the wildlife we saw. There were buffalo from a distance:

The herd in motion at Custer State Park's Annual Buffalo Roundup.

And up close:

We spotted this guy roadside in Custer State Park. I guess he missed the round-up!

Not until this trip to SD had I ever seen so many deer:

Four deer grazing just a few feet from our cabin doorstep.

Deer crossing the road in Keystone, SD.

The Bear particularly enjoyed these little chipmunk-like things, which were not at all shy around humans! I was terrified that one would bite her and we'd be off in search of a rabies shot. After some quick Internet perusing, I remain uncertain whether these are called least chipmunks or ground squirrels (or both, or neither). They were much smaller than the chipmunks we have in Kentucky and Indiana, so we started calling them "chippy-mice," as in, "Look, there goes another chippy-mouse!"

The "chippy-mouse" in action

The Husband and I particularly enjoyed the prairie dog villages. These little critters were super cute and kind of reminded us of meerkats. We are still laughing about an incident we witnessed involving a pair of unleashed dogs that leapt through a fence to investigate a group of prairie dogs. The canines ran around, raising hell, while their owners yelled, "Elvis! Jellybean! Get back here!" Thankfully, no one was hurt, not Elvis or Jellybean, and not one single prairie dog.

White prairie dogs at Prairie Homestead in Philip, SD.

All week, I had hoped to see some bighorn sheep, probably because my high school mascot was the Ram. (Go PHS!) The road leading into Hill City had signs alerting drivers that bighorn sheep might be present. We never saw any along this stretch of road, but on our next to last day in South Dakota, we spotted one:

A male bighorn sheep, grazing roadside at Badlands National Park.

Our most unique encounter was perhaps the "wild" tiger we photographed on the hiking trail:

In all seriousness, the most unique aspect of this tiger is that he actually made it home with us! There were many, many occasions when The Bear tossed him down onto the trail, and only sometimes did she alert us to this fact: "Ah-oh, Ah-oh! Tider! Tider!"

One of the nerdiest things I started doing when we go on vacation is find the local library and get my picture taken with the sign. Here is my South Dakota shot:

Our week away was fun and memorable, but it was also really good to come home! The Black Hills are beautiful, and I recommend you add them to your travel wish list if you've never seen this part of the United States.

L@H

P.S. Most of these photos were taken by The Husband. Some were even edited by The Husband. If you are curious about the identity of the photographer, ask yourself: Does this photo look like crapola? If the answer is yes, then it is probably one of mine. However, if the answer is no, then it is most definitely one of The Husband's.

Fried Apples

2010-09-15T16:33:00.003-04:00

This summer, after years of talk (all talk!), the Husband and I finally took action and subscribed to a multi-farm Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) program. Every week the Bear and I drive downtown and pick-up our share of locally grown fruit, vegetables, and herbs. We also get a dozen eggs, a half gallon of milk, and a rotating staple item.

I’m glad we decided to do this despite the resulting:

Challenges: the preparation is rather time consuming and the weekly rate does not match dollar for dollar what I could get at the supermarket;
Failures: the Husband and I agree that no amount of salt or butter will ever make spaghetti squash appeal to us!; and
Weekly Temptation to Prepare Butter-Laden Pastries: including, apple crisp, peach cobbler, sorghum pie, and buttermilk biscuits...(none of which fit in with my intentions to eat less and drop a few pounds).

We have certainly enjoyed the summer harvest and remain confident that the fall will bring more than what we’ve seen in the past few weeks: squash, squash, squash. (At present I have five acorn squash in my pantry...Yikes!)

A couple weeks ago our subscription included the saddest bunch of bad apples I have ever encountered. I felt guilty every time I spotted them (pun intended, of course), because I had a feeling that the next time I cleaned out the fridge they would be bound for the trash. At the next pick up I received a second bag of these gnarly little guys, (which by the way are called Arkansas Black Apples). Now I had two bags, totaling four pounds.What could I do?

Arkansas Black Apples

That weekend I had dinner with a friend who subscribes to the same CSA.

“What have you done with the sad, spotted apples?” I asked, almost certain she was contemplating the trash bin like me.

“I cored them, cut them in rings, and fried them,” she said. “The baby loved them!”

(Ah, girlfriends...they always have all the answers!)

A few days later I tried it for myself. Here’s what happened:

First, I diced the apples.

Coring apples is one of my least favorite kitchen tasks (even though I own a corer, peeler, dicer gadget), so rings were out of the question for me. Additionally, my final product would have been much better if I had peeled the apples, but I knew this step would add at least 30 minutes to my prep time, which was out of the question because I had already spent nap time making Hearty Chicken Noodle Soup for dinner and knew the Bear could wake up at any minute.

Obviously, I cut out all the yucky parts.

And thankfully, I encountered no worms, or parts of worms, or worm corpses of any sort (although I know they had to have been there at some point!).

My friend had mentioned that her recipe called for lemon juice, but none of the recipes I found listed lemon juice as an ingredient. I added it anyways; lemon juice prevents the flesh of the apple from browning, and I had a bag of lemons in the fridge. Other ingredients included butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg.

The recipe I consulted was the top Google hit for "fried apples" from http://southernfood.about.com/. I modified it just a bit:

SouthernFood.About. com says:	Librarian @ Home says:
8 medium Granny Smith apples, chopped	4 lbs. gnarly, spotted Arkansas Black apples diced (about 6 cups, once the rotten parts were removed)
	Juice of one lemon (about 2 T)
1/4 c butter	3 T butter (Shhh! Don’t tell The Husband, but I usually cut the butter, knowing I can add more later if needed).
1/2 c brown sugar	1/3 cup brown sugar (Again, I cut back, knowing I can add more later).
1/2 tsp cinnamon	Ditto
1/8 tsp nutmeg	Ditto
	Dice apples, (peeling if desired), and toss in bowl with lemon juice.
Melt butter in a heavy skillet over medium heat. Add apples, brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg.	Yep.
Saute for 15 to 20 minutes, or until apples are tender.	Yes, with one note: the Arkansas Black Apples probably needed to cook longer than 20 minutes. The skins were quite tough, but I was afraid the flesh would become too mushy, so I took them off the heat after about 25 minutes.
Serve as a side dish for pork or with breakfast.	Serve to your toddler on a plate with a fork or mixed with baby cereal for breakfast. Can also be served with ice cream. (Just don’t tell The Bear about the ice cream, okay?)
Serves 6.	Serves 4: Mama Librarian 2x, The Bear 2x, (which is really the equivalent of 1x), and The Husband 1x.

The next time I make fried "Arkansas Black" apples, I will definitely add all the sugar, because these were a little tart. I'll also consider peeling the apples, because, as I mentioned above the skins were a little tough. Still, all my efforts plus a dollop of ice cream turned my bad apples into something pretty good!

And that certainly beats a trip to the trash bin!

Jaelithe, the L@H

The Golden Rule of Housework

2010-09-08T14:52:00.007-04:00

I learned the most important thing I know about housework from the Husband.

Little does the Husband know, over the years he has reinforced what I now consider the golden rule of housework. It is the key to staying on top, and most definitely, the first step to domestic peace of mind.

The Husband’s all important secret is this: “Put your stuff away.”

I’m a little embarrassed to admit the numerous times I have heard this statement (or some variation of it) from the Husband. Many times he hasn’t said anything at all, resorting instead to a more passive aggressive tactic that goes something like this: He cleans up; then I stumble in a few minutes later and find all my stuff stuffed into closets and drawers.

“Hey,” I cry in disbelief. “I had all this stuff organized into piles. It’s going to take forever to sort through it all again.”

I think this is a logical argument, but you might be able to guess his reply: “Jaelithe...you have to put your stuff away!”

Now that I work at home, the Husband and I seldom encounter this scenario. (Maybe he’s given up on me?), but that doesn’t mean his “training” didn’t sink in.

I wish I could say, now that I’m home, all my stuff is put away, but this is not always the case.

Although I like the old proverb “a place for everything, and everything in its place,” it doesn’t always come naturally to me. When stuff slowly starts to clutter the house, I make excuses for it. That stack of papers on the kitchen counter is there because I need to sort through them. My shoes are by the back door because I’m going to wear them out tonight. The vacuum is in the living room because I intend to vacuum tomorrow. (Why should I haul it down to the basement when I’ll just have to haul it back up in the morning?)

The clutter builds, and I start to overlook it. In fact, at times I stop seeing it! And soon something else happens that I cannot see -- but I sure can feel it. I become stuck, blocked, overwhelmed by all that stuff, and it becomes so much harder to dig myself out and get back on top again.

"Jaelithe...put your stuff away!"

Every day has its own rhythm and some days that rhythm might lead me to defer picking up my stuff. Picture it, my house, a couple weeks ago: I went shopping, came home, threw the cold stuff in the fridge and left all the other purchases on the dining room table. (Remember the photo from a previous post

That stuff had to hang out on the table for a while, because as soon as I got home I had to feed the Bear lunch, put her down for a nap, start dinner, pay a few bills, etc., etc. And hey, I’m just glad I was able to take care of the shopping that day because we were running low on milk and I needed nighttime diapers and a gift for an upcoming birthday party.

What I’m trying to say through this illustration is...I try to avoid getting all bent out of shape simply because I have some stuff to pick up. Instead, I make allowances for myself and accept that sometimes a messy house is inevitable.

Nevertheless, I’ve realized that in my house clutter seems to breed more clutter, which can then make me really tired and super unmotivated. When this happens, I make it my goal to put my stuff away asap, because I know from experience that a de-cluttered house tends to energize and motivate me so much more than a cluttered one.

Sometimes I take a look around the house and imagine what the Husband would say: "Jaelithe...until you are going to look at those papers, wear those shoes, run that vacuum...put it all away!"

Truth be told...despite my best intentions, I rarely vacuum “tomorrow” as I’d planned and the vacuum has a way of cluttering up my house for days.

“Oh holy crap, just put it away!”

Stay tuned for more thoughts on stuff, where to put it, and how to convince your spouse/partner/roommate etc. that you really can stay on top of the housework after all...

(Or not. Whatever.)

L@H

Food Issues and Mika Brzezinski

2010-09-01T23:54:00.005-04:00

This week I cannot stop thinking about Mika Brzezinski and food issues.

Back story: I am hooked on MSNBC’s Morning Joe. I love all the regulars, but Mika is probably my favorite. Before this week, I’ve never googled her or made any attempt to research her bio. Also, I have yet to read her book All Things at Once, which came out earlier this year...but I have wanted to read it and now I'm definitely going to add it to my queue...

I love Mika because she is smart, sexy, strong, and so eloquent in her speech. She stands up to those Morning Joe guys and looks great while doing it. She is an outspoken advocate for healthy eating, which has become a running joke on the show. (Those guys are always razzing her about it and she’s always telling them to eat better, exercise more and lose a few pounds. And I’m all...Yeah girl...Someone is finally on my side!)

On Monday’s show (Aug. 30) Joe made a comment about all the hate and vitriol that erupted after New York Magazine posted a food journal that Mika kept for the magazine’s Grubstreet.com.

And so, of course, I had to google it later that day. Oh how my spirits sank when I read Mika’s food journal. You can take a look here if you’re interested. But let me just recount what I found to be the most disturbing day of her food blog (Keep in mind, she says she runs an average of 5 miles every day!):

Breakfast: coffee, two Kind granola bars, 4 mugs of hot water.

Lunch: arugula salad with strawberry dressing and some kind of broccoli rabe dish that includes white wine.

Dinner: omelette made from six egg whites, fresh spinach, and a “little bit of cheese -- probably swiss.”

My first reaction to this was: Mika...Seriously? I thought you were an advocate for a healthy diet, not a calorie restriction diet! How can such a vibrant woman run on so little fuel?

My second reaction was: Is this what eating less looks like? God, I hope not!

Ever since the conclusion of pregnancy and breastfeeding, I have been reluctantly confronting the fact that I eat too much. For the most part, I eat really healthy, but I just need to eat less, (especially less carbs, sugar, and cheese).

To eat less is one of Michael Pollan’s Food Rules and ever since I watched the documentary Food Inc. and skimmed a few of Pollan's books, I have been thinking about eating less. How would I actually do that? Would I even be able to?

I've never really had to diet to lose weight before. But I have never been as old as I am now (31, if you’re curious). Lately, I am starting to accept that my only chance to drop the baby weight is to cut back on my food intake. I have about 10 more pounds to lose, but honestly some days I think peach cobbler, buttered toast, and pancakes with maple syrup just might be worth the extra pounds. After all, I am at a healthy weight.

That’s right...I said I’m at a healthy weight, so what’s the big deal?

The big deal is that our culture worships thin women, and I want to be one of those thin women. Does this make me vain? Probably. But I’m sure many of my female readers can relate.

I think my big takeaway from Mika’s food blog is the extent to which it reveals what a thin female celebrity has to endure in order to be a thin female celebrity. Small, low-calorie meals followed by a five-mile run. Boo!!!

I am not a nutritionist, but on this topic I am an expert at one thing: my body. I intend to explore this eat less idea, but only in a way that I believe is healthy for me. Mika’s diet might work for her, but I know it would never work for me. (For starters, I know I’d need a little bit more protein and a lot more whole grains. But remember, I am only an expert on my body, not Mika’s -- or anyone else’s for that matter).

I hope you’ll join me as I make my “food issues” public. If you’re interested, here is what I ate today. (Keep in mind, this is me trying to eat less!)

Breakfast: bowl of cheerios with soy milk, half a banana, coffee, (followed by a refill on the cheerios).

Later: three handfuls of slivered almonds

Lunch: tomato-based white bean soup (leftovers from last night’s dinner), whole wheat crackers with pesto (basil from my garden), and goat cheese, plus all the raspberries that were too mushy to feed the Bear, and water.

Later: More coffee

Later: Pecans and raisins (probably about 1/2 to 3/4 of a cup, total), glass of 2% milk

Dinner: Steamed broccoli, baked quesadilla on whole wheat tortilla with black beans, 1/8 cup cheddar cheese, minced onion, tomatillo salsa, and avocado, plus a couple small squares of dark chocolate (85% cocoa) and water.

Later: glass of white wine

Now it is almost midnight, and I’m starving! After this post, I will probably have a banana and a glass of milk, but hopefully that is all.

What did you eat today?

L@H

Housework: Who's On Top?

2010-08-24T15:57:00.008-04:00

As a teen, I was a member of my high school marching band’s color guard (translation: flag twirler). To some, marching band might sound super nerdy, but we were good (super good!) and we had a lot of fun. One of our more irreverent activities (and there were many irreverent activities) was a pre-competition chant we called “In and Out.” We stood in a circle with our arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders and leaned in and out, while we chanted...you guessed it: "In" and "Out."

Okay...“chanted” is probably not the most precise word choice here. Some of us chanted but many of us moaned "in" and "out" in a tone that was more than a little sexually suggestive. (While I’ll decline to reveal whether I was a chanter or a moaner, I would like to make the point that I do not advocate this behavior for a group of teenage girls -- or boys for that matter.)

As the chant reached its climax...In...Out...In...Out...the guard captain would shout: “Who’s on top?” To which we would reply: “We are!”

This cute (albeit hugely inappropriate) little chant has come to mind on several occasions since I’ve been at home. I am reminded of it when I think about housework (yes, housework), because for me, housework can go one of two ways: I’m either on top of it, or it is on top of me.

And more often than not, it is on top of me.

When I worked full time, I had this nice little fantasy about how clean my house would be if I stayed home. (Ha! This might be the case if I didn’t spend most of my day chasing a toddler). Since then, I’ve discovered that the biggest obstacle to staying on top of housework when you’re home is the fact that...well...you’re home, messing the place up all day.

“So, you’re going to teach other people how to keep their house clean?” the Husband asked a few weeks ago, his skeptical gaze shifting from the dirty dishes to unkempt piles of paper on our kitchen counter.

“No,” I answered defensively, “I’m going to write about my struggles with housekeeping and share some techniques I’ve found useful.”

This reply seemed to shut him up. (At least for a little while). But seriously, the housework has been on top of me for the last three or four weeks, so his snarky remarks are bound to resurface if I don’t get myself back on top...and soon!

I will be the first to admit that I’m no housekeeping diva...I took some pictures last week, just to prove my point:

See?

On days like these when the housework is on top of me, I have this fear that anyone who shows up at my home and sees this mess is going to think What the hell does she do all week?...After all, its not like she has a job!

But even if there were any validity to this fear, let them think what they will! I might feel stuck underneath a giant pile of housework these days, but that is only because I’ve been on top of other things.

For example:

working on this blog,
helping the Bear adjust to toddler preschool,
obsessing over HGTV, real estate, and my dream to become a superstar property flipper,
and finally, baking lots of wonderful goodness with the bounty of my CSA subscription and meager garden (including a roasted tomato strata and a peach cobbler).

I intend to share more thoughts on housework in upcoming posts -- thoughts that will be relevant whether you spend your days at home or at work, thoughts that have been shaped, in part, by my training as a librarian. For now, let me conclude with this: Being on top of your housework is great, but sometimes you’re on bottom and that is okay, too. It usually means you’re on top of something else!

More to follow,

Jaelithe, the L@H

Meet the Bear

2010-08-19T20:31:00.007-04:00

The Bear is a toddling, jibbering little thing, as sweet as a peach -- with a few small spots of rotten! She is a planned child who came a little sooner than planned, our happy little being, who is oh so loving and snuggly!

Just last week she officially hit 18 months. She is barreling toward the infamous “terrible two’s” and like many toddlers, she is increasingly defiant. For instance, she will persist in a behavior precisely because I have asked her to stop it. Examples include throwing food on the floor, turning her sippy cup upside down, pulling cabinet doors open as far as safety latches will allow and then banging them shut again and again and again....Oh, how I love my little Bear!

“I kinda don’t want her to stop when we tell her to,” the Husband admitted one evening as our cabinet doors were banging, banging, banging. “I want her to be a little stubborn.”

“I think she is stubborn” I said. “Just a smidge.”

The Bear presides over her kingdom (our living room) with the assistance of her loyal followers: the Giraffe, the Tiger and the Kitty Cat. She tosses aside most dolls, but the stuffed animals are her babies. And she has become quite the little mother! The first time I saw her give the Giraffe a drink of water, I choked on my own tears. How did she learn to do this? Well...I guess that would have to be from watching me! She gives her babies hugs and kisses, brushes their fur, and pushes them around in her tiny toy stroller. Last week, we were playing outside, and I all but stapled her white sun hat to her head. She was so peeved, her soft baby cheeks red with annoyance as she yanked on the chin strap. And yet, a few hours later I found her serene as a saint, lovingly placing the same sun hat on her Giraffe.

By now you might have guessed that the Giraffe is her Number One, followed by the Tiger and then the Kitty Cat. However, I am sensing a shake up in this hierarchy; it seems the Puppy Dog (not to be confused with the Doodles) is advancing into the top three. I’m not sure who he’ll oust, but I promise to keep you posted.

Like any good librarian mama, I have been reading to the Bear since her first week outside the womb. (Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t recall reading to her in utero). Naturally, the Bear loves, loves, loves her books. I wish I could say she gets this from me, but she could very well get it from the Husband. In the last couple months she has been known to take my hand and force a book into it when she wants a story. And she is not shy, she will force books into the hands of virtual strangers. (Such a sly little book worm!)

These days her big thing is talking. Talking, talking, talking! Earlier this summer, she went through a phase where she stayed awake in her crib, chitter-chatting with the Giraffe for at least an hour. But now she is starting to say real words. And she repeats everything like a mischievous little parrot! I have been racking my brain for some toddler-appropriate swear words, so let me know if you’ve got any ideas. Even the seemingly benign “crap” is now followed by her tiny echo: “Cwap! Cwap, cwap, cwap!”

A few weeks ago I tormented myself with the thought of going back to work. I somehow managed to stumble on an opportunity I wasn’t sure I could pass up. For days I agonized over the pros and cons: career advancement and increased financial security versus home, hugs, and time. (I realize this is a super simplified summary of a dilemma many mothers face, but I’m going to breeze by it so I can tell a story about the Bear, who is the subject of this post). One particular morning, I woke up absolutely sick over the seemingly real possibility of going back to work, and when I went in to get the Bear, I found her standing in her crib, tiny fingers curled around the rail, wisps of hair in her eyes. She looked up at me and said one word: “Poop.”

And that was it. She said “poop,” and I knew I would stay home a little longer.

You see, this was the first time I’d ever heard the Bear say “poop.” And oh, how avidly I praised her when I realized there was actual poop in her pants! We were such proud parents that week. Unfortunately, the Bear misconstrued our initial enthusiasm. I think her mind emphasized the word, but de-emphasized (or discarded altogether) the fact that the word communicated the physical presence of doo-doo in her diaper.

And so, now she says “poop” all the time. “Poop, poop, poop.” It is her favorite word. She says it sometimes when there is poop, but more often than not, she says it when there is no poop at all. I warned her that she might become known as “the little girl who cried poop,” but she only cocked her head and spoke it again, like a question, “Poop?”

L@H

Meet the Doodles

2010-08-12T18:54:00.009-04:00

Just before the Husband’s third year of law school, our landlord decided to convert our inexpensive, yet charming, perfectly located apartments into condos. Needless to say, they did not care that I had planned for us to live there, in that perfect location at that perfect price, until the Husband was out of law school and we could afford to buy a house. No, no, they would not renew our lease.

After a few hours of sheer horror at the prospect of moving, I had a revelation: we would rent a house with a fence and we would get a dog!

I had never had a dog, but I had developed a friendship with my sister-in-law’s Chihuahua, and I had heard many stories about Sissy, a Chihuahua mutt the Husband had grown up with (may God rest her little doggie soul). And so, on my whim, we decided to become dog owners.

During the next week, any time I’d get stressed about moving, the Husband would tap his fingernails on a hard surface, reminding me that soon we would enjoy the rap, tap, tap of our new puppy’s nails as she scurried across hardwood floors. The house we eventually rented had no hardwood floors, but we loved its big fenced-in yard.

One of the most illogical things the Husband and I have ever done is rent a moving truck, park it, and then drive to Central Kentucky (four hours round trip!) to pick up a puppy the night before we moved into our rental house. We met the Chihuahua breeder at a Taco Bell of all places. The Husband kept saying “Remember Jaelithe, if the dog looks sick, we’ll say no thanks and get the hell out of here.”

Thankfully, she was one healthy pup. I’ll never forget the love that surged through my chest the moment I first saw her. She was teeny-tiny and panting, her long pink tongue dangling below eyes that were way too big for her head. (It would take some time for her to grow into those huge, buggy eyes!) I had known in advance her coat was chocolate brown and had planned on calling her Cocoa, but somehow we decided to name her Chloe. She would have many nicknames over the years including (but certainly not limited to) Puppy, Doggins, Puppy-Doggins, Meatball, Tiny Dancer, Boo, Moo, Chlo-Bobbins, Chlo-Bobs, Chlo-Meister, Noodles, Doodles, Doodle-Bug, Do-Bubs...With the exception of Meatball, I’m pretty sure I came up with all these names. More often than not, the Husband calls her Chloe. In the blogosphere, I will call her the Doodles.

The Husband is always trying to remind me that the Doodles is “just a dog,” but she’s more than that to me. She was our first baby, the first living thing we parented together, and the first creature to compel me to refer to us as “Mommy” and “Daddy.”

“I’m not that dog’s Daddy,” the Husband says, which I can respect; however, I am her Mommy.

Ever since we had a human baby, I have tried (with varying degrees of success) to maintain my bond with the Doodles. She came into my life when I was dealing with a lot of anxiety about the possibility of parenthood, and if it weren’t for her, I’m not sure I would have been able to make the leap to parenting a real baby. I’m grateful for her companionship and the many things she has (unwittingly) taught me.

Perhaps the most important lesson gleaned from my life with the Doodles is this: as a parent, you need to love your “child” for who she is, not for who you hope and dream she will be. In the beginning, I tried to take the Doodles on walks, but she really, really hated them. (The other dogs in the neighborhood stressed her out to the max!) I kept hoping she would adjust, but eventually I realized our walks were creating major stress in her life, all because of something I wanted -- that she clearly did not want! Now whenever I go for a walk, the Doodles stays at home.

Another hope and dream for my little doggie child was fashion. I loved to dress up the Doodles, and in the beginning she had an adorable little wardrobe (complete with doggie-sized hangers!) but she absolutely hated wearing clothes. In time it became clear that regardless of how I felt about tiny dogs in clothes, the Doodles was happiest in her own fur.

A few more things about the Doodles: she likes cigarette butts, eats whatever rot she can find in our back yard, and sleeps about 23 hours a day. Now that I have left the workplace to stay home and chase after a toddler, I have discovered that the Doodles can very often annoy the crap out of me, but I still love her just the way she is.

L@H

Meet the Husband

2010-08-05T16:28:00.017-04:00

The Husband says no one is interested in learning about my family, but I'd like to introduce them. After all, I am the Librarian @ Home, so it makes sense that readers might want to learn a little about who I live with. If you're not interested, I guess you can always skip this post...

The Husband is my college sweetheart. I'm not sure if I can really call him that, because we didn't start dating until our last year of college, but I like to call him that (probably because I never had a high school sweetheart).

The Husband and me, December 31, 2000

When I first met the Husband he had a girlfriend, and he was a skinny, vegan indie rocker. He also thought I was a snob, but I wasn't really. I was pining over some fool who broke my heart and didn't want to waste my time getting to know some random new dude, especially one who was unavailable.

During the next year the Husband dropped both the girlfriend and the vegan lifestyle. (There were always donuts for sale in the music school, and he could only resist the temptation for so long). I ran into him every once in a while and eventually started thinking I'd kinda like to date that boy.

One fall morning I was at Starbucks, studying at a window table, but I had taken a break to make a list of places I could move after college graduation. It looked something like this:

Louisville

Cincinnati

Indianapolis

Portland

San Francisco

...

I was probably staring out the window in a daze, dreaming about my future, when the Husband walked by with a group of friends. We exchanged a wave through the glass, and then he came in to talk to me while his friends ordered coffee. (The Husband has never been a coffee drinker and despite my efforts to convert him, he will probably never become one).

I showed him my list of potential cities, emphasizing Louisville, because I knew he was from New Albany and I thought he’d be impressed. (New Albany, Indiana is right across the Ohio River from Louisville).

This Starbucks encounter was one of the most foretelling events of my life, because less than a year later, we moved to Louisville together. (Wow!)

I married the Husband in 2003. I love him for many reasons, but the one I will share with you now is his sense of humor. If I am cracking up, it is usually because of something he said. It is very possible that in a few months you will be reading this blog, cracking up, not because of something I said, but because I am writing about something he said.

The Husband is a classically trained musician. He switched his major to music the night before he started his sophomore year as a transfer student (a decision that tormented his parents!). When he was 25, he had a “quarter century crisis” and decided to go to law school, so now he is a smarty-pants attorney. I get lawyered every time we fight and often resort to this line of defense: What you’re saying is wrong. I don’t know why it’s wrong, but it is! Believe me, this is a lame defense, but sometimes it works.

L@H

How This Librarian Ended Up At Home.

2010-07-28T16:16:00.005-04:00

Hello, I'm Jaelithe, the Librarian @ Home. Welcome to my blog!

In the last couple days I have been getting acquainted with Blogger, which makes me feel a little like a seasoned library staff person around 1995: suddenly confronted with the Internet as an information resource and the often intimidating learning curve of technology.

In my case, it is 2010...but still, learning how to navigate new software is a little intimidating. (Especially since I'm trying to teach myself!)

I received a journalism degree in 2001 and a library science degree in 2004. Both programs seemed to focus on a very similar train of thought that went something like this: Omg, omg, the Internet is changing, like, EVERYTHING about our field! How will we adapt? Will we still be relevant?

I have spent a lot of time thinking and learning about how technology has and will change newspapers/tv news/print publishing/libraries, etc. etc. and it seems that now, less than a decade later, a lot of that future-casting is no longer speculation, but reality. (For example, reading books on Amazon's Kindle. Need I say more?) Yes, yes, it is a very exciting time for information creators and consumers...so what am I doing?

I'm sitting at home.

Even though home is where I want to be...I still want to be a part of it all! This blog is my attempt to do just that.

I am a woman, daughter, wife, mother, dog mama, housekeeper, and home cook in Louisville, Kentucky. I used to be a librarian, but I dropped that gig (for the time being) after my maternity leave was up and my employer was all "Hey you, come back to work or quit, okay?"

Leaving that job was hard because it was the best job I'd ever had. Seriously, it was the best job EVER. I spent most of my time at work reading book reviews and determining whether my library should buy a book and, if so, how many copies at which of our branches. (In other words, they paid me to shop for books!)

But...the Husband and I were pushing 30 and thinking less and less ambivalently about starting a family. I was discussing our fears about the leap to parenthood with one of my librarian colleagues, who told me point blank: "It is the most important thing."

And he was right. It is. Maybe not for everyone, but for me it most certainly is.

Of course, starting a family doesn't mean one parent has to quit working. So how did I end up at home?

Although I spent my 20s establishing my career, I was ever mindful of the fact that I would most likely have a child (or two) and that I would possibly want to stay home when that happened. I wasn't sure on which side of the fence I would land, but I had always hoped that when the time came, I would have a choice. Luckily enough, in our situation that was the case.

So...I gave up LJ reviews and circulation stats for breast-feeeding and play dates. (I also gave up the perk of low premiums on health insurance for COBRA, but that should probably be left for another post!)

Today my daughter is 17 months old. It's cliche to say but time flies and babies grow like weeds. Much of the past 17 months is a blur to me, especially the early days of night feedings and not getting my first cup of coffee until 2 or 3 p.m.

Parenthood most definitely changes a person. But I would argue that leaving your job to take care of your home life (with or without a baby) is also life-altering (especially if you are a feminist American woman in the 21st Century!) Now add those two events (new baby, no more job) back together and the extent of the change is magnified even further: changes to your lifestyle, finances, sense of self, role in your marriage....YIKES!!! Despite all this change, beneath it all, I am still me. At home or in the library, I am me!

I know what I just said doesn't make much sense: I have changed a lot, but I am still me. And quite frankly, I am a little confused myself at this point. Let me close by saying this: I hope this blog will allow me to explore the many roles I play and the many roles that American women play (whether they have careers, children, neither or both!) I hope to find readers who can relate to me (or not) and challenge me. I hope to build a community of thinking, reading, caring, smart women and men.

Additionally, I want to draw from my past as a public librarian. I hope to talk about books, and I want to demonstrate how I have applied the skills of librarianship to my life at home. I am certain these topics will appeal to many, and not just those in library land!

More to follow,

Jaelithe