Lienna's log

Science "Versus" Religion

2009-11-08T13:08:00.004Z

This should be fun...

Firstly I'd like to give a message to the so-called "atheist buses" and it is as follows: You seem to have mistaken "atheist" with "arsehole" you see having a sign saying there is no god on the side of a bus parading around town, particularly outside a church during memorial Sunday, that's not spreading a message, that's being a dick! Some people believe there is a god who loves them unconditionally, so perhaps the same thing should be done on other buses for atheists, a personalised message saying that your wife doesn't really love you perhaps?

Can I just say something? Science will never disprove religion this is for a very simple reason; religion couldn't give a care to proof, you can't fight a belief with proof, it doesn't work like that, if it was proof based then it wouldn't be a belief it would be a fact.

Perhaps I can use a easy to understand simile of fire fighting. If you want to put out a small fire then reaching for the kettle and emptying it over the fire will usually give good results, the water will put out the fire and everyone will be happy. However if you do that to a burning chip pan then the oil will float over the water and use it to spread over the kitchen then burn down your house.

So science is a normal fire, if you use the water of proof against a scientific theory then you can put it out, indeed a good scientist will be happy that you disproved their theory, as it means humanity is that little bit more knowledgeable. However if you try and put out the fire of religion with the water of proof then your just going to be stirring up the flames and risking getting burnt and for what reason? Religious people are happy with their religion and most are moderate and considered people sure there are the extremists, but its not as if there are no atheists who go around murdering, regardless of their beliefs some people are simply dangerous.

In some ways I wish I had faith, I love science, I find it fascinating to work out how the universe works, what makes a person a person rather than just a pile of atoms and molecules, how you can tell the difference between a pool of randomised chemical reactions and a pool filled with simple lifeforms. But I can only imagine how much more fascinating I would find it if I had a belief in an all knowing god who created everything, I wouldn't just be studying how the universe works, I'd be studying how god works! I'd be gaining knowledge in how an immortal and incorporeal entity creates an infinite universe of such great variety from just 94 minuscule building blocks (the naturally occurring elements).

I'm going to keep studying science and I'll continue being an atheist, because I don't believe in god and there isn't proof to force me to acknowledge that there is a god. But for those who do believe, know that I have the utmost respect of your beliefs and I will never be using my knowledge of the intimate workings of the universe in an attempt to undermine your belief system

We live in a wonderful and incredible world, the very fact that we are alive and able to communicate between continents just by me pressing a few buttons on an electronic device the size of a large book is surreal. Why does there have to be this fight between people on how we came to be here, instead lets simply enjoy being here, right now, in this moment. Free and happy, by gods hands or not, it's a beautiful world, now go out and enjoy it!

An evening's entertainment

2009-11-07T02:10:00.007Z

First off: Yay for 2am posting!

I figure I should now explain what happened tonight, after my lab practical (identifying amino acids on a dipeptide, for those who care) I was chatting to woman A (not sure if I should be sharing names) while waiting for the slower students to finish in the lab. She invited me to her friends house watch some films perfectly normal one would think, however then the sly woman asked about if anyone had a better laptop or a TV as her's is awful.

I appear to be the only student in my uni who has brought her own TV, thus I am now responsible for hosting cinematic experiences, some of which may include film collectives...

Perhaps I should explain the lesbian film collective bit, but it would just be easier to link to youtube (link isn't work safe, unless your work wants you watching comedies with some adult themes). Now woman A had managed to be inviting her friends around my room, rather than me around theirs, which isn't really a problem, but she also decided to mention that her friends were lesbians. Not that I have a problem with lesbians, if I was any more open minded I'd have a sunroof, but I've never really been part of a group which is half-formed by gay people. You see despite being technically part of that whole "LGBT" thing I don't really surround myself with gay people, or Trans people for that matter.

Anyway they were lovely, perhaps a little erratic in the fashion department, and one was so shy she made me look extroverted but we did watch "naked gun 33 1/3" and that makes any evening wonderful! We also watched "Wallace and Gromit, a matter of loaf and death", and "The grudge" which could have been scarier, but was pretty much an excuse to cuddle up under the bedsheets and make the one guy we'd invited feel extremely left out!

One final thing I'd like to mention since its 2:30 am and that's the perfect time for ranting about bullshit that floats into my brain. I am a fan of comedies, particularly romantic comedies, but any will do. I have a request to any filmmakers reading this (be they part of a lesbian film collective or not) but can you please, please, please stop taking such cheap shots at trans people! "Oh ha ha that woman has a penis and it disgusts the male lead in a humorous way, lets all giggle at this". I can take a joke, but when a good 50% of films I've watched lately have taken on this "joke" in one way or another it does start to get tedious, especially when 99% of people at uni don't know about my background so I can't explain why I'm not laughing my head of.

Seriously its an epidemic, American pie (sigma house?), Naked gun 33 1/3, Shallow Hal, 50 first dates (though a transguy in this case, and its much more tasteful), dude wheres my car. That's just the list off the top of my head. What I don't get is how there is an annoyingly huge porn industry around transwomen (yay more negative stereotyping for us) and yet its ok to joke about how men find us disgusting. Something doesn't add up here and it all leads to the inevitable body image problem I have which leaves me as my own worst critic, causing negative behaviour where I assume no men are interested in me, and those that are interested are naturally porn-watching serial masturbating perverts who only want me for the bits of me I don't want.

Maybe I should consider joining a film collective...

so... yeah...

2009-11-06T18:18:00.001Z

Tonight apparently I am hosting in my room some kind of lesbian film collective...

I don't think anything I say to explain this will really help so I'll leave it as that

Oh and if anyone got the reference in this post, you get 50p towards a dinghy of your choice for being awesome!

Vampire horror...

2009-11-01T11:26:00.005Z

Is it me or are vampires rather... less scary theses days? Why hello Twilight, no I'm not talking about you... well not explicitly anyway, though I have to question the logic involved when you decided that vampires should sparkle! Seriously look at this picture and tell me where the scary monster who would suckle on your neck like a baby to teat!

Zombies remain flesh/brain eating mindless monsters who attack in hordes and spread their curse, if anything they are now scarier as some filmmakers decided that maybe zombies should be able to run!

Mummies are still half-preserved liches of ancient rulers wrapped in rotten (and easily flammable) bandages.

Werewolves still go around biting and killing the people who were closest to them in their former lives...

But vampires... vampires go around drinking the blood of animals and being far to romantic for someone who isn't about to do nasty things to you in an alleyway... vampires are becoming innocent!

Yesterday I had a Halloween night in, Jess and Erica came round and we watched a couple of movies and ate KFC, a solid plan. The first movie was hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, a movie which loses much of its charm due to the fact that everyone in England has already read the books/watched the tv series/listened to the radio plays/played the text game... However in its own right if you didn't have such expectations it is a funny movie, capturing much of the book's charm, this effect would be amplified if you had never read the books/watched the tv series/listened to the radio plays/played the text game. Kind of like Erica and Jess, both of Chinese origin they had never encountered the guide before, they both fell in love with Marvin, so I'd say that was a success if nothing else!

Our second film as interview with the vampire, not a bad film, curiously large amount of homo-eroticism for a film which seemed to never show men wearing any less than a full (period varying) suit and yet had no qualms about having a woman stripped completely naked and killed on a stage... I have to say the most interesting part of the film was seeing Tom Cruise (trying very hard to not slip into a Scientology rant here) actually suckling on a teat, having lured a couple of whores and brought them back to his home that is apparently where he got confused.

Now I know I'm a biologist so maybe I take this for granted and such knowledge is not commonly known, but allow me to explain... The neck is above the breast, its that thin bit after the shoulders but just before that bony bit where the teeth and such reside. I can only hope that in future Tom cruise doesn't make this elementary mistake, I know the science of Scientology is rather lacking (I couldn't resist), but I would have thought enough rudimentary biology to know how to drink from the jugular would be taught to all their vampire members!

However the point that came up in our collective minds was that this vampire would starve to death in modern day America, after luring a local whore and trying to drink her blood he'd end with only a mouthful of silicon, hardy the appetising life-blood he needs to survive. And with his apparent trachelphobia there is no other choice for poor, deprived Tom Cruise!

I suppose the moral of the story today is that breast implants are killing Tom Cruise... Now if you excuse me I think I need to go and get some surgery done, before the world is overrun by the followers of L. Ron Hubbard! May he rest in piece knowing that delusioned celebrities still follow his maddened drug-addled rantings...

Thought for the day...

2009-10-26T22:50:00.002Z

"If variety is the spice of life, then the Internet is a vindaloo made with a slightly suspicious meat"

Food to end all thought

2009-10-19T19:42:00.004+01:00

What is it with humans and our incredible desire to consume things that are toxic to us? We abuse our sense of taste's ability to taste toxic materials and then go out of our way to consume them. Humans destroy the evolutionary theory, not because we can't find a line of evolution, but because we completely defy the notion of "survival of the fittest", apparently its now survival of the thickest!

An obvious example would be the phenomenon of alcohol, whats so appealing about the waste products of single celled fungi that isn't also fascinating about the waste products of any other organism. There is a reason why fecal matter isn't considered a delicacy, so why is alcohol?

Speaking of delicacies, I'm sure you've all see this fella before:

The pufferfish, very, very toxic and yet its a Japanese Delicacy, the meat is supposed to have a slight spicy taste, which is actually the taste of its poison. Even when properly prepared so the poison glands are removed, the meat of the puffer fish contains traces of poison, and its this that gives it the unique taste, oh and also it blocks your sodium channels causing havoc with your nervous system, but hey that's all part of the fun right? Nothing like a dose of neurotoxin to start the day!

Spicy huh? Yes that brings us on to peppers... Why? Just why? Peppers, garlic, onions, mustard and countless other plants have developed chemicals to prevent animals form being foolish enough to eat them, chemicals designed to mess with their minds, cause neurons to fire telling the brain that its receiving heat, damaging their eyes... The list goes on. But now we, as humans, have unanimously decided that we want to eat these things exactly for the taste of their defence mechanisms!

But at least these things are all natural, after all its not as if we've gone out of our way to produce drinking acid or anything right?

What is wrong with our species?

A rambly update

2009-10-14T11:34:00.004+01:00

I know I've been rather neglectful on the blog lately, Uni does make me a bit busier than I'm used to and its only likely to get worse. I'll try to keep posting here though because I do feel bad if I don't post every few days.

So today I've changed the header of my blog, I figure I'm far enough through my LP of psychonauts that it deserved the new title screen on my blog, I'll admit that the picture is actually about 3 videos ahead of whats on youtube, but if you can't handle it then too late you've already seen it!

Uni-wise I'm quite surprised with how I understand things, considering my access course doesn't go as far as a full A-level goes I thought I'd be in major catch-up mode right now, but it turns out that I seem to be understanding things while other students aren't! Right now were dealing with neuroscience in physiology (the electrical movement along the axon of nerve cells is ingenious, nature comes up with some crazy stuff!), in biomolecular science were looking at DNA (big surprise), Chemistry we've been looking at electron movement, half reactions and Gibbs free energy, and then in bioanalysis were looking at the effect of boredom on ~ 300 people...

I watched Angels and demons last night with Amy (not myself, apparently other people have that name), I have this to say... "LOL darkmatter the church!" Seriously... how did the scientist woman know all those convenient catholic facts, even if she was a practicing catholic then she wouldn't know that stuff, the catholic priesthood doesn't know that stuff, so why does she?

Tonight I'll be going to our unis computer game society (one of the few societies that does more than just get drunk repeatedly), I've actually found a Chinese girl (called Jess, not the Jess in my hall another Jess, names are in short supply at uni we can't afford to have unique ones (Actually her names not Jess, but she's chosen that to save explaining how to pronounce her name to people)) in my biology classes who also likes games so I'm dragging her along too, maybe the turnout will be better since its not pouring with rain today.

I'm pretty sure that Avril doesn't read this blog, but I still want to say in writing, congratulations on coming out, wish you all the best!

Experiment concluded!

2009-10-08T18:57:00.005+01:00

Okay so we have 14 replies to my little experiment, the results were better than I expected, I had feared that everyone would give the American answer...

You see in American English, going from a million to a billion adds 3 zeros, then to go to a trillion is another 3 zeros, quadrillion is 3 more zeros than a trillion and so on... So for all of you who answered that your from USA and you said 1,000,000,000,000, I'd say have a cookie, but your language is mathematically bizarre and so you don't deserve one even though you are correct!

Canadians are in the same boat, they use the American system so you Canadian folk can have a cookie (go on, you deserve it)

Now I would like to congratulate the anonymous people! Not only is anonymous legion, but anonymous is also correct! an English (and much of Europe) trillion is 1,000,000,000,000,000,000. Yes that's a big number! In English numbers Million is 1,000,000, then billion adds six zeroes, 1,000,000,000,000. A trillion adds on another 6 zeroes, a quadrillion is another 6 and so on...

Now as for the English reply I acquired... shame on you! You have joined the mass media of today and started using the Americanised numbers! Britain's media almost exclusively use the American numeral system, and even England's government uses them interchangeably depending on department.

This might not seem like a big issue, but how many times do you see titles like "The government is £40 billion in debt"? You see 40,000,000,000 is a big number for sure, that's a lot of debt, and its what is usually meant, but if the truth was that its an English billion then the government would be in a thousand times more debt! This is a distinction that needs to be clarified before you throw around words like billion!

An important example occurs in biology which is why I brought this up, one of my text books claims there are between 10-50 billion cells in the human body depending on size and health, if you look online quickly you'll probably find a site saying the same in trillions. If you don't know whats going on your estimated number of cells in the body can vary from:
10,000,000,000 - 50,000,000,000,000,000,000

Next time your local news says billion or trillion, make sure you know whats going on, the media does enjoy making things sound different than the truth, keep a sceptical eye open and you'll be that step close to knowing whats going on in the world!

Now don't get me started on googlplexplex...

A petite experiment

2009-10-06T17:20:00.002+01:00

Okay simple experiment here and I want *you* to participate, all you have to do is leave a comment saying the country you live in and how you would write "one trillion" in numbers...

eg:

UK
94756930

Obviously one trillion doesn't start with a nine, but I think you get the idea. Thanks for participating, or if you decide not to participate, thanks for nothing!

Holidays over!

2009-10-05T10:13:00.006+01:00

Its my first proper lectures today, before today I had a few mini lectures on things like finance and safety and so on, but today they are actually on Biology and chemistry! To celebrate we are having bad weather for the first time in the week I've been here, I suppose I shouldn't expect sunny weather in October, but I'd started to get used to it so today's downpour is a bit of a surprise.

3 lectures today, Molecular basis of life, Foundations of physiology and Chemistry for biologists. Strangely I'm actually looking forward to it, its nice being at uni and not learning, but part of me wants to learn, I really am that much of a geek!

On the note of geekdom, I've joined the uni's Game society, apparently every Wednesday we invade a lecture hall with a bunch of consoles and Tv's and a lot of multiplayer games get played, its worth not that lecture halls have projector screens, so if you want to see Kirby betting his pink head pounded at 500 times normal resolution now's your chance!

Anyway 30 mins to lectures now I'd better get going, think I'll update this post later with how it went!

...

2 lectures down, Physiology was a rather confusing overview of the module, interesting but trying to cover things at the end of the module at the start can be somewhat overwhelming. Its interesting to see what the lecturers expect us to have known form A levels (or access course in my case) since no-one in the theatre (220 people) had heard of the selfish gene concept which apparently should be covered at A-level. A lot of the lecture was about the advantages and disadvantages of multicellular life, and how evolution isn't such a big thing (might go into a rant about evolution here one day).

Molecular basis of life was just an overview of how the module will work, I now know that I have my Mol basis of life practicals on even numbered weeks and physiological practicals on odd numbered weeks, I also know that I'll be doing a dry practical first week, shame since I'd like to get my hands on the equipment but can't be helped! Unfortunately I still don't know if I'm doing practicals on Mondays or Fridays.

Chemistry... yeah chemistry was very uneventful. I kind of like the way that we'll be having small, in class exams rather than big end of semester exams. Unfortunately I'm in the Wednesday workshop group, so I don't have a day off on Wednesdays, I suppose the advantage is 2 hours free on another day but I would have liked a mid-week day off!

Wat I's learneded twodays

2009-10-01T16:48:00.002+01:00

So today was my second actual proper university run lecture thingeymabob, it was on varied subjects, from finance to safety and so I have learned several things...

1) The fire exits are located where the fire exits signs point to, if you don't follow the arrows you will burn to death, apparently this needs to be told.

2) The fire safety lecturer's voice can be used as an emergency hypnotist device, not that it sent students to sleep, but instead one of the other lecturers

3)You get really worried when the person giving the speech says "We've never done it this way" and then brings out a OHP...

4) It departments sent a .avi in an e-mail instead of showing up in person, sometimes there's too much technology...

5) Guys named Dan always have long hair, are cute and have a likable personality!

6) 2/6 lecturers were late by at least 30 minuites, start as you mean to go on

Settling down

2009-09-28T20:02:00.003+01:00

I've been at uni now for all of 60 hours or so. Guess its time to make a post here and let you all know I'm doing ok.

So Flatmates are now all here, we have 6 people in our flat, 4 girls, 2 guys. I have to say so far I'm only the second least sociable person in the flat. The gold medal being taken by guy number two who moves about 2 boxes in today then disappeared and has yet to return, rumour is he is called Chris, but that name might have been made up!

So far I do feel like I've not been sent some things that I really should have been sent, had a mature student meeting today and I was the only one who wasn't sent a pack telling them what they were doing on that day, then again I'm the only mature student in our flat, so maybe I'm not down as one of the oldies?

I still joined the mature students for their library tour, which was interesting, it has some very gothic looking paintings of long dead Uni staff, the kind of pictures which watch you as you pass by.

Anyway good news is I'm alive, settled in and I have 4 flatmates who I get along with, even if they are partiers and I'm more of a geek, then I have 1 more flatmate who could be anything, but rumour is he's a post grad student so I guess he has to be kinda smart right?

There's not really any point to this post, just wanted to say that I'm doing okay and not being held at gunpoint to make this post so you assume that I'm fine before I get brutally beaten half-to death because the gunman saw me typing this...

Pre-uni update

2009-09-25T22:26:00.005+01:00

I know I've been really quiet here lately, but I'm doing an update now while I wait for another YouTube video to upload...

So first things first, I'm moving to Uni in around 9 hours now, I'm excited, I'm extremely fed up with packing and, naturally, I'm ill. I managed to catch a cold, presumably from the college meet the new students day, when your doing Q&A with around a hundred students one of them is bound to give you a disease, even if you don't take them behind the bike sheds! To be fair the cold is dying down and I think it might be gone completely by tomorrow, but it was really really nasty yesterday, one of those really bad but really short illnesses.

I've also had my meningitis jab, which I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have been given when I had a cold, but that didn't seem to stop the nurse, maybe part of the reason I felt so bad yesterday.

Oh hey, in case you haven't been watching then I have to announce my first let's play is completed, I found it interesting, I got a lot more emotionally attached to the game and it gave me the opportunity to practice talking which, as you probably know, isn't my strong point. Going back to my first videos shows me how my voice has improved which is a rather compelling reason to continue. And continue I shall, once my cold has finished clearing up I'm going to start on psychonauts I've done a little trailer to introduce the game, which you can find here, its an unsung classic and I hope you'll enjoy.

Also on the youtube front I've made a little tour of my old computer room, I'm all clogged up and the rooms a mess, but its a little slice into my life so I figure it might as well go here, or at least it will once its uploaded...

So, yeah clinic today, nothing like going up to London to waste the hours between 7 and 4! I say waste which is probably a little harsh, I need to go and its for a good cause, but still spending most of the day before I move going up to the capital does seem rather fruitless. Long story short I still won't be getting the prescription I'm meant to be (T-blockers) until I move, whereupon I'll be under a different PCT who the clinic knows will give me the prescription. Its all to do with clinical trials, problem being that there aren't really enough trans people in the country to perform clinical trials, so different PCTs have different opinions on whats safe to prescribe

*sigh* no-one said it was easy being trans.

I brought up the subject of my stepdad too, I mentioned him a little while back, basically mentioned all of my worries about him. They said that they try their best to weed out people who lie and cheat their way through the system, but admitted that some do get through if they are determined enough. Not really the news I wanted to hear, however at least my psych is being honest with me, I suppose that's a good sign right. Well considering how honest I am with him he'd have to be... the things he knows about me... if you think I'm open on my blog then you know nothing compared to my psych!

So that's about it for my last update from this house, at least for 9 months or so, its going to be weird moving out for the first time ever, it's also going to be weird for my dad and brother who are used to having me around. Especially for my brother since he'll have to wait in for his own deliveries now, and take his shoes down to the shoe repairs all by himself!

A spoon of Suga

2009-09-22T11:48:00.005+01:00

I know its not fashionable to like pop bands these days, especially on the internet where everyone is expected to be into alternative music. Ironically making said alternative music into popular music which is what pop stands for, but nevermind that, for there was actually some music news that saddened me last night.

Keisha has left the Sugababes!

She was the last of the origional 3 that I've been listening to for a good 10 years now, she was also the one that I respected the most, I liked her voice, thought she looked fabulous and now that she's going I'm not sure if I'll still listen to the band. Not that I won't give them a chance... but the replacement for her is the UK eurovision contest entrant. At this point I would like to remind you that the french word for "English" is "Nuls points" for a reason.

I feel at this point that since everyone that started the sugababes has left, should they really be caled the sugababes anymore?

But there is some good news she might well be continuing as a solo artist, which should be fantastic!

Get Packin'

2009-09-17T15:33:00.002+01:00

As you can see the mountain of boxes is starting to be built, nothing like a constant reminder that your about to move out! If your curious from 12o'clock clockwise we have: empty box, empty box, Laptop box, Wii box, Canned and non perishable food box, Bathroom box, Kitchenware box and Printer box.

Okay so they aren't finished and sealed up, the Laptop is still out, after all I'm typing on it now. Also the Printer and Wii are still out since I will use them in the next week, likewise the TV is out since its my Pc's monitor, my digibox is out since its my recorder for youtube videos...

Hell I haven't packed anything really! But there is a limit on what one can do this far ahead of time, I can't pack my clothes since its starting to get too cold to go around naked, I can't pack anything I'm going to use in the next 8 days because then I'll just have to unpack them... In general I'm starting a bit too early, but hey I've got 3 boxes filled and others ready to fill, so some things are ready at least.

Part of the reason I want to be ready early is because of how busy the end of next week is going to be, on Thursday I have a dinner with my family for my dads birthday. The Friday is my dads birthday but I won't be around since I have to go up to London for my clinic, Friday evening I need to get my packed boxes in the car so that we can leave to get there on Saturday between 8am-12pm.

University is creeping up on me like some kind of stealthy multi-storey building with a capacity for tens of thousands of students... Kind of like you'd expect a university to creep up, perhaps Loom is a better word. Still I'm looking forward to it I just wish I could get everything ready today so I had no more worries.

Geek alert!

2009-09-14T22:59:00.002+01:00

Phew, been busy lately. Want to hear something crazy? its 12 days till I move up to Uni! So I'm kinda getting things ready, all the dullness of washing all those new kitchen utensils ready for their first use in my new home.

I've also been playing DDO a fair bit, I have to say there's something that sparks the inner geek in me I can't quite place what it... Oh wait its because its Dungeons and dragons... Yeah that'd do it. There is something magical about the D&D system (at least the 3.5 edition that's the only one I've ever known) and I think I know what it is.

Customisation.

You see In WoW when you look at a character of a certain class they will be one of 3 groups: BM, SV or MM for hunters, occasionally you see someone who's somewhere int he middle, but mostly people go really deep in one talent tree and most people are drawn to the same talents within that tree.

In D&D however things are a lot more loose, Sure there's a set class with set abilities, but it doesn't end with the class, and even if it did you can take levels in other classes. If you want a Wizard to use a Bastard sword then you just choose the right feat and voila you have a Wizard with a bastard sword. Sure it might not be a good idea, but its *your* idea so run with it!

Today I was in a group with a Wizard/Rogue, he used the spells his wizard levels gave him to buff himself (and the rest of the party) and then he snuck around and stabbed things in the back with 2 daggers!

Personally I'm playing a dwarf rogue, but I wanted her to be... well... suitably dwarvish, that meant she needed an axe, preferably a big one. So I got her a Greataxe, it as big as she is so that's probably just about big enough and to really get the best use of it I gave her a high strength, rogues might be known for their agility, but personally I consider hacking down a door a successful pick lock attempt. Of course rogues don't normally train with huge axes, so I gave her a level of fighter, this gave her training with greataxes (and a myriad of other larger weapons, armours and Shields) and also chose power attack for her fighter feat, this means she can trade accuracy for damage on a 1:2 basis. (she's also about as pleasant to talk to as your garden variety politician, charisma was a dump stat)

She's still sneaky, she's good at disarming traps, she's pretty agile even if low by rogue standards, but she's also going to sneak attack you with a greataxe, and that is how a rogue should act!

Oh also another good point, the traps in this game are real traps, jets of fire coming out from the walls, spikes coming form the ground, blades swinging round pillars, Indiana Jones would be proud!

Branson... there is a special kind of hell...

2009-09-10T12:55:00.003+01:00

This is an advert form Virgin media, read it, wallow in its message, understand its nuances, after all the person who came up with that advert probably got an obscene amount of money doing so and I like to feel like I'm getting my money's worth!

Could it be? Is this really another post complaining about Virgin media's bizarre nuances? Yes it is my dear readers, yes it is.

Its fair to say I've had issues with them in the past, from random disconnects during WoW to the upload rates being comparable to the Sluggian Olympic game's 500 meter dash. This time however there isn't an issue with speed, or an issue with the fact that after uploading more than about a gigabyte the connection gets cut down to a fifth of its speed!

Today We merely have an issue of virgins media's somewhat refined pallet, see there are certain websites that virgin media doesn't like. Perhaps from the name Virgin you might suspect it would prevent you from looking at raunchy websites, well that doesn't appear to be the case. Virgin doesn't like you going onto perfectly legitimate websites, in some kind of bizarre perversion of the word it seems to compel you away from decent websites until the time comes when you can no-longer visit the www. but instead are limited to the xxx.

To be more precise, I was trying to sign up to Dungeons and dragons online, its just gone free to play and I like the sound of that, certainly it has the right price tag, so I figure its worth a shot. What should have been a simple process of filling out a form (and indeed it was a simple form compared to some sign-up sites) was turned into some kind of complex loop by virgin.

Shall I just say it here? As of writing this: "you can't sign up for free-to-play DDO using a virgin media Internet connection". That's right, it comes up saying you entered an error on the form and then won't let you retry until you delete your cookies. Deleting your cookies lets you try again whereupon you'll get the same old error message.

So how did I resolve this? Well the good old fashioned way! I took my laptop and walked around the house refreshing for wireless connections, having no luck I then wandered around the garden. Still having no-luck I walked towards the front garden and then it appeared! An unprotected wireless network with a consistent connection (insert angelic fanfare here). Using that connection I signed up to DDO and then began the download, and good news the download does work on virgin media!

So in conclusion I highly recommend DDO to anyone on Virgin media, it will provide you hours of entertainment before you even play the game!

...yeah...

2009-09-08T11:07:00.002+01:00

Sometimes I remember dreams, most often when I wake up naturally, rather than by blaring alarms, and even then only if I think about the dream as soon as a wake up.

Last night I dreamt I was a tauren woman being chased by a human mage who kept launching fireballs at me. I survived by jumping behind walls etc before the fireballs hit me, but still the mage chases me, and still I ran. I ran up some scaffolding on a wall where the tauren were building a new town, the shape of the scaffolding forced the mage to get up close...

And then I pushed him, I pushed him off the edge and down he went, kersplat, and suddenly hordies appeared from everywhere and cheered for me, they waited and when the mage ressed and then they killed him immediately, and all was good in the world. Then I woke up.

You know other women dream about cute guys... Damn you WoW!

In which I bitch

2009-09-05T18:24:00.006+01:00

Thought I was complaining about my family a lot the other day? Just wait, today's going to be a doozy!

I've realised that I'm actually really angry at the moment, this isn't a natural state for me, I'm not very good at being angry if I'm honest. I'm the kind of person who lets their anger bubble away inside, so this blog is my emergency pressure release. If you don't want to put up with my whining then I don't blame you, but I suggest you stop reading now!

Shall I start with the lies? Perhaps "lies" is a strong word, withholding the truth might be more accurate, either way it's something that I don't like to do anymore. My young life was filled with enough lies for one lifetime and through those I learned a valuable lesson about how much lies hurt, not other people, but myself. This time I'm not lying for myself, I'm lying for my mum, but I'll be damned if I'll be censored here.

The reason for the lying would be my stepdad, who is making some... controversial decisions about how he wishes to live. Perhaps you already think that is slightly ironic coming from me, well trust me you haven't heard the worst of it yet. My stepdad has long be a transvestite, I've known for almost as long as I've known him (I know my mums shoe size, plus she has some taste of style) although to his knowledge I've only known since a little while after I started my transition. He is, in fact, a very stereotypical transvestite in that he wears the wrong clothes (most women nowadays wear jeans and a top, apparently this isn't good enough for your stereotyped transvestite, out come the overly frilly dresses, bad wigs and high heels for someone who's already over 6ft tall). He also attends trans club meetings and hangs around with other transvestites, generally making a night out of it and scary every close-minded heterosexual in a 5-mile radius.

However he has now decided that he is Transexual, a fact to which I am rather opposed. There are many many facts behind this, and how it coincides with my own transition that makes his actions highly suspicious, but I think my mum summed it up in a very concise way when she said:
"With you it all made sense, I didn't want to believe it at first but I knew it was true, but with him things don't add up"
I'll spare you all the details of why we think things don't add up and move onto the problems that this causes...

For a start my stepdad is having huge strops, and is angry with me for not telling him who my therapist was up at the clinic (which he's also being forwarded to now). I didn't withhold the information out of spite, but rather out of forgetfulness, were talking about a man that I've met 4 times, for a total combined time of ~2-3 hours and when we met, understandably, we didn't exactly talk about him. It should be noted that this occurred before he told me that he considered him transexual so I had no clue why he would be interested in that information anyway, but nevertheless he has refused to talk to me for a week afterwards.

Lets be honest this isn't the first time he's been cold with me for some imagined slight, the two of us seem to have inconsolable differences in our views of all things trans, I view my transexuality much like an affliction, I seek to be cured (to the extent that you can be) and to become a normal woman, I refuse to let my being trans affect my life any more than it has to. He, however, bathes in the "trans lifestyle" and I very much suspect much of his honest reason for wanting to transition, I'm not really sure about how to explain it, but its kind of the difference between gay men who act like any other guy and gay men who go around talking in that over-the-top accent and waving their arms about as if their muscles were made of elastic.

I suppose it comes down to the fact that I wouldn't wish being transexual upon anyone, the physical and emotional problems it causes are not to be taken lightly, and if someone transitions to the other gender then realises that they were happier in their birth gender. Well that puts them in the same situation that a real trans person is born in, only its a lot harder to change the second time (I've heard of people who have done it, but they aren't happy stories).

But there's the more dramatic issue that this means my mothers marriage is falling apart, my mum is such a loving person and I wish the best on her, she doesn't deserve all the crap she ends up having to put up with. Also there is the rather selfish reason that having my mothers marriage fall apart because her husband is trans will only make it harder on the rest of my family to accept me.

Moving onto my brother, he's just damn selfish in every way, living with him would be good practice if I intended to be a maid, as it is I intend to be a research scientist (though I'm not against being a maid for Halloween or bedroom funtimes). Is it so much to expect someone to clean up after themselves? To not leave scissors on the floor, to not leave dirty cutting boards all over the kitchen (Its not the fact he doesn't wash them, its the fact he won't put them in the dishwasher, or scrape the solid bits off and put them by the sink ready to wash). He currently has two suitcases full of clothes, which are for charity shop/ebay, sitting on the bed in the spare room, this isn't normally a major issue but they have been there untouched for 2 months, and I really need the space to start packing and sorting things out for university.

Largely though I'm angry with myself, for getting too angry over these problems, I live a fairly comfortably life, I don't need to worry about food or shelter or other basic needs, I'm healthy and reasonably well off.

Basically I think it comes down to this: Puberty is a bitch and I'm going through my second one, they say that chicken pox is worse when your an adult, I can say that the same is true for puberty. I'm also stuck in a situation where I hate how I look, me naked is something that would scare many people, there is no part of my body that I like, and due to the slow changes that I'm going through I'm stuck in an evil half and half situation which I can't stand. I suppose it wouldn't be fair to say this without providing proof, so, reluctantly, I'm going to do the brave, and possibly foolish, thing of showing you all my horrid mugshot.

Sorry for making a post which is pretty much all about trans issues, its not the focus of my blog and I really don't like taking over and filling the internet with my whining, but I really needed to get some of this off my chest.

I've been crying far too much these days...

The price of friendship

2009-09-03T15:00:00.003+01:00

Ah money and all the evils which come with it, perhaps I should start this post by explaining how comfortable my financial situation is.

I'm not rich, but I'm far from poor, my immediate family has no need to worry about homelessness or not being able to eat. In fact they have no real issue with buying whatever they feel they need on impulse. However everyone money is their own, my brothers money is only used by my brother, my dads money is only used by my dad and my money is leeched from me by my brother and occasionally paid back!

Now I previously worked a dead-end job for 3 unfulfilling years of my life, I may say how little I liked that job but it also helped me immeasurably. I matured in that job, I worked out what I needed to do with my future in order to never have a job that dull again! Another thing I gained form that job was money, obviously, I had the luxury of being able to live at home still and therefore have no rent and next to no food bills.

I'm really bad at spending money on myself, however when it comes to my friends I'm usually quite loose with my money. Unlike me and my family, most of my friends are quite hard up on cash and so I don't mind paying a bit more when we go out, its proportional, if I have 10 times more spare cash than someone then I really can't complain at paying a bit over half the bill. Similarly I tend to lend my friends money when they need it, for example I recently lent a friend £100 ($160) because she had some financial issues and otherwise would have to cancel her holiday days before she was due to leave.

However this post comes following what is probably my first refusal to lend a friend help when they needed it, not because I was unable, but more because I was uncomfortable, I made the conscious decision that though she was my friend I clearly have a price on our friendship. One of my friends needed to borrow £750 ($1200ish) and I found myself saying no.

I'm not sure if I'm in the right on this, on the one hand I could have afforded to lend her the money, and its for a down payment on a flat so without it she may end up homeless. On the other £750 is a lot of money and you have to question 1) if you'll ever get it back, and more importantly 2) if this person is only your friend for the sake of being able to get money from you!

What do you all think? should I have given her my money or not? I think I made the right decision but there's still a part of my that feels guilty about it.

Changes warning

2009-09-02T16:42:00.003+01:00

I'm experimenting a bit with the template for the blog.

This is a casual reminder that I know nothing about editing websites, so if it looks like rubbish then I'm sorry.

I do have my old template saved ready to upload in case of emergency!

Edit: okay that should do it, for now at least. Hope its okay with all of you?

This totally counts as satire, happy now?

2009-09-01T08:43:00.005+01:00

I so want to hear the prime minister giving a speech that comprises of the lyrics to "where it's at" by Beck. Gordon Brown's unique ability to add a up to a dozen fullstops into any sentence would give a unique spin on this classic song Just imagine...

"Where. It's. At. I got two. Turntables and. A micro. Phone"

That is all, have a good day now y'all!

An epic quest

2009-08-28T17:53:00.003+01:00

I was given a quest yesterday, from my brother, he needed some rubber soles affixed to one of his pairs of shoes in time for a wedding the next day. There's a shopping center literally 3 minutes walk from my house, though the shoe repair guy is on the other side so it takes 10 minutes to reach him. This in itself was not a problem, grab the shoes put them in a bag, wonder over there and hand them over then come back later to collect them easy as pie really.

The difficulty came in the mission of my own devising, I need to update my passport you see, since I've changed my name since the last time it was renewed and so I wondered over to take a new picture. I thought I'd use one of those fancy booths which do it all automatically, there's one on the near side of the shopping centre. So I pop into the booth and lo and behold its £5 for a set of passport photos, no problem I think as I go to get my money out.

But then things get difficult as it required £5 in change, you see they don't have a place where you can insert notes. £5 is an absurd amount of change to expect people to just have on them and, indeed, I found myself short for the machine. Nevertheless I sought to continue and collect my brothers shoes, upon paying for them (and yes I payed for them, a considerate brother might have left me cash to do his errands, however my brother took the opportunity to borrow a tenner off me before leaving for the day) I acquired the necessary change to work the machine and everyone lived happily every after...

Or so you would think, but no my epic tale is not yet complete! Upon returning the the machine I inserted my hard-earned coins and it sputtered into life, the luminescent screen enquiring whether I desired passport photos or just photos for fun. Selecting passport photos without even taking a second to reconsider obviously caught the computer by surprise as it all went downhill from there.

A feminine, yet mechanical, voice informed me to center my head into a circle that had appeared on screen with my eyes matched up to a dotted line that gave the odd impression that someone was intending to slice the top of your head off along it. Then once I was ready, after ensuring my hair looks fabulous and, of course, removing my glasses I prepared to press the "take picture button" on the lower screen.

Tragically my preparation was for naught, despite the electronic nagging from the computers voice, the take picture button was no-where to be seen. In its place was the unwelcoming sight of the "select photo type" screen, staring back at me with incredible contempt! I tried pressing buttons but they did nothing, the screen mockingly said I had another £1 to insert, but upon placing another coin into its slot it rejected it like a baby being weaned onto cow milk!

Frantically I tried pressing the coin return button, but that too refused to function. A trap I thought! After all that work to acquire £5 in coins the machine had taken it from me in a polite, but firm, mugging! But then suddenly the computers voice spurted out a different request, instead of its incessant loop informing me where to place my head it suddenly enquired into my readiness and began to count down from five!

I jumped into action bringing my head into the desired place, feeling somewhat like Louis XVI must have felt as the drum roll began. My hair was no-longer the perfect style that I had carefully arranged, having been shunted around in my blind panic, my eyes were present but displayed a slight terror over the fact that the machines were taking control. Once the countdown had ended there was a faint click and then uncomfortable silence that lasted just slightly too long.

Suddenly the bottom screen flickered into life, removing its request to choose photo type and instead informing me that it was now loading, little did I know at the time that it would never cease loading. The computers voice, now in a tone far too close to mockery, asked if I was happy with my picture. Fortunately my picture was shown on the top screen and I decided it wasn't too bad, more to the point I didn't dare ask the machine to retake it less it's patience be fully worn out.

Obviously the machine had decided that I was going to be happy with the photo no-matter how I truly felt about it, the voice politely informed me that if I wanted to retake the picture than I was to press the appropriate button on the lower screen, indeed if I was happy and wished to print the photos then I would also have to press the relevant button for my choice. As I previously stated the bottom screen would be loading forevermore, so my choices were somewhat limited.

Once again I frantically jabbed at the bottom screen hoping to spark some response into the machine, after a good 2 minutes I gave up and left the accursed machine to its diabolic functions, just as I stood up and collected my brothers footwear from the floor there was a gentle "clunk" as the photos cascaded down into the exit slot! Wallowing in the glory of victory I snatched up my photos and left, letting the curtain flap dramatically in my wake. Triumphant I began the long march home.

Mankind had bested the machines... for now.

P.S If you ever read someone saying that their life is too boring to blog about link them here!

Let the countdown begin!

2009-08-27T22:15:00.004+01:00

So today I got my e-mail to tell my that I have an offer of accommodation. I now have a place in halls at uni, in the hall that I wanted, a mere 10 minute walk from where I'll actually be studying. Considering that my walk to college used to be an hour each way having only a ten minute walk will be far more convenient. Of course there are other reasons why I want to move out.

Well first there's the whole trans issue,living with my brother and dad is somewhat of a constant reminder of how I used to be (read miserable) and why I originally buried myself in video games, including WoW of course. I can understand that it takes a long time to get used to your child changing gender but really after a year of being female 24/7 you'd have thought they'd stop using my birth name. Seriously I'm fed up of hearing that name! It has so many bad memories behind it and I'm looking forward to leaving it behind permanently when I leave home. I do understand its hard for them, but I'm not sure that understanding goes both ways...

However there are certain other issues that arise when forced to live with 2 men, lets just say hygiene isn't always the top of their mind. Put mildly my father smells, the food he eats smell and the bathroom after he's finished with them are something that has to be smelled to be believed. Not that you would want to believe in it, that would be like believing in hell but not in heaven. My brother is less pungent however he can be rather crude and since I share a bathroom with him it can be far more a direct issue, to bring this paragraph to a close lets just say that I caught my brother picking his nose earlier today and he didn't even have the dignity to look ashamed!

If you want to here more complaining about my family there was a little bit on one of my recent videos.

I'm moving up to my new place on the 26th of September and I just cannot wait.

Let the criticism begin!

2009-08-26T15:12:00.002+01:00

WoW Podcasts people! There some for you to listen to! Listen and judge!

So first up the blueberry workshop has released the first proper episode, episode 1. I already encouraged people to give honest feedback before I encourage people to give honest feedback again, good or bad so that Rilgon can continue to improve.

Also we have another first episode over at the Hunting Lodge, its mostly blizzcon related and obviously hunter-skewed so if those things interest you go have a listen and again leave comments, tell them how they did and how to improve!

Remember if your going to give criticism then make sure its constructive criticism. For example "you could stand to improve you mic quality" is constructive "You sound like shit" is less constructive.