Life - Don't Panic

Solving relationship or social problems

2013-03-12T20:43:00.000-05:00

People are designed with defense mechanisms to prevent ego failure as well as other exploits that could be taken advantage of. So in order to make a point well you must make it their point. To do this you can do some of the following:

Flip the script: ask them how they feel about others doing the things they are doing or similar.

Socratic questioning: Ask them more about their position so it is drawn out plainly to see for them to see that it is just that bogus. In the end they either prove their point well, prove they are wrong to themselves as well as you, or prove that they are insanely dense. If the last situation happens, it is best to not bother with that concept or thing they are talking about as they are using cognative dissonance to resolve the issues they have with it.

Communication and people are bad at it

2013-03-12T18:43:00.002-05:00

Communication is an important part about life and many people are bad at it. Many people are also bad at logic and that sort of goes hand in hand.

Here are some situations and how to resolve them:

Situation: Partner yells something in hopes you can respond or understand them from far away or through noises such as a running shower or sink.

Resolution: Tell them that you can't hear them and if they want to talk to you, they come to you.

More situations to come...

White Knights and why they are bad for society

2013-03-12T18:39:00.001-05:00

What is a white knight
A white knight is a guy who is trying to stick up for a woman no matter how convoluted or wrong the woman is being. This can be on the internet or in person. They do this in hopes of having sex with the woman they are "standing up for".

What is wrong with this behaviour
This behaviour is a bad enabling personality trait that has caused many relationships to fail and be destroyed. It also makes women feel wierd in that their affections must be earned and when they are given things and they don't return those gestures with affection such as kisses or sex then they are demonized as bad women.

Origins
It is theorized by many that the origins of this type of behaviour comes from Disney type movies that show incredibley innacurate female to male dynamics in which the male saves the damsel in distress from some thing and then the male gets her affections as a prize or outcome.

Be Aware of Complex Emotions

2013-03-08T18:07:00.004-06:00

A complex or compound emotion (I named it to have a name to refer to) is an emotional set that contains conflicting emotions at the same time or same timeframe.

For instance, you can love and hate someone. You can be wanting to spend your life with someone yet be extremely upset and hesitant to do so because of something they have done or are things they exhibit in their personality or actions. You could be happy to get your dream job but very sad that it is away from your fantastic family. You could be happy for a raise but sad because of the extra stress it exerts on you.

Be aware of these situations. Be aware because they are especially tricky when deciding if you want to be in a relationship with someone for a long period of time with someone. Marriage is the main focus of the wariness of this article.

Make sure that there is a for sure that someone wants to be with you forever but also that they have no doubts and if there are any that you are able to work them out. DO NOT FORGET THE DOUBTS PART.

Blowing Your Nose - Kleenex VS Toilet Paper

2013-03-07T20:34:00.001-06:00

A box of Kleenex isn't cheap compared to toilet paper. Toilet paper holds up better. You don't always need Kleenex but you always will need toilet paper so stocking up on toilet paper is easier and more reasonable than stocking up on Kleenex.

Use TP (Toilet Paper) for your nose blowing needs.

The Two People Inside You

2013-02-27T17:10:00.003-06:00

Most people have two people inside of them. Some have more but that is a different story.

One is the asshole trying to end you and the other one is full of life trying to outrun the asshole trying to end you.

We are all our own worst enemies. Each person you see can be changed into all sorts of personalities. Our bodies aid us but in the end it is just a shell. Our personalities generated from the brain mounted in your skull is what makes you who you are. The decision must be your own what to do with yourself.

You either make it your goal in life to always kick your shitty self to the curb and rise above it and be awesome or you can be crushed under the boot of your asshole self that is trying to end you. I myself don't quite like the depression filled life the second option provides.

When you are feeling down, remember the good times in life and the awesome things you can do and have done. Remember that there is always two people in you and one of you has to outshine the other.

Which person inside of you do you want to win?

Let People Screw Up

2013-02-27T17:03:00.003-06:00

When you care about someone you wish to prevent them pain and suffering and wasting their time. You just want them to be happy. You think by preventing them from screwing up that this will make them happy.

You are sadly mistaken.

If you truely care about someone you do this...

Weigh the situation and decide if it's petty or not
If the situation is petty then do not try to help them and let them do their own thing.
If the situation is not petty then tell them you may know how to help them out or just tell them your idea. Do not tell them they are wrong but that it is something that you have found that helps you.
If they do not like the idea or don't try it then don't bother them about it.
Let them screw up
Do not ever tell them, "I told you so" or "Didn't I tell you" or anything similar.
Just say something like, "that sucks" or huh. Do not act like an asshole about it

If you bother people with your take on things after they already said no they will resent you. If you were right and things went badly and you tell them that you were right they will resent you. Basically if you act like you know more than them people will resent you.

Offer your advice and then let it sit. Do not push it.

You will lose friends, networking abilities, lovers, etc. if you are a pushy person. It is super annoying and nobody likes it.

One of the friendliest ways to say it is, "Hey I had to deal with this before, would you like some help with it?" or "Hey I had to deal with this before, I found a really cool trick. Want to see it?" If they say no then reply, "Ok" then go about your business.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't force them to drink. If you do then you probably end up drowning them and that isn't your intention.

Let's say you have a child. That child keeps trying to climb on something and you know there is a good chance they will fall. So you keep telling them not to climb on it. In their mind they have no idea what you are talking about. They listen but only momentarily.

The best bet is to tell them once. When you tell them once you gain credibility for when things do happen as you said. Then you let them mess up. After they mess up they will see how bad things suck and teach themselves that it sucked and that you were right. If you tell them you were right they will only hate you. They must trust you on their own. Doing this will give you greater power to teach them in the future.

I had to learn this the extremely hard way. Sometimes you have to let people burn themselves before learning.

Your Decision, Your Consequence

2013-02-27T17:03:00.001-06:00

Most people don't fully actualize the concept of what they do or decide having an outcome that it all of their problem.

If you decide to do something, it is your consequence and you cannot pin that outcome on someone else. You must fully understand this.

If you decide to be with someone, that is your decision. You are able to change it at will. If you decide to opt out of going to a movie with friends, that will be your consequence, not anyone else who benifits from you not going to the movies with your friends.

You must be aware that everything you do has an outcome / consequence to it. Do not delude yourself with thinking that the outcome isn't for you or that one isn't important enough to consider. Sometimes the outcome is useless to consider but often you need to think about it.

Think you making out with that girl in the club is ok because your gf at home is a cunt to you? The outcome of that situation is all your problem. You may not blame the outcome on your gf if she decides to start being an angel when you get home and turn around the relationship. Your decisons are also your consequences to deal with.

You may not opt out of this reality.

Want to drink and drive? This is a decision you made and the outcome is also all of your own to deal with. Didn't think it would end up in you killing someone in a car crash? Losing your license to a DUI? Losing your job because of the DUI? All of your fault.

You must be prepared for the consequences of your actions. They will own you eventually so it is best to understand the concept now.

Emotional Promise VS Logical Promise

2013-02-27T16:55:00.002-06:00

When you promise something because of your current emotion thinking you will feel it later that isn't going to work out. If you make a promise then it should be based on logic. Then later when things are different you can recall your promise and do the logical thing instead of the emotional thing.

Emotional Promise - This is a promise that is created when emotional but can be voided if that emotion isn't felt when the promise is needed for follow through.

Logical Promise - This is a promise created in any circumstance that the person promising it, intends to follow through regardless of how they feel when they need to follow through with it.

Example:

Man asks woman to marry her. Woman says yes. They go get married and vow to be faithful to each other and live for each other for the rest of their days.

Now later on the man / woman is feeling down and doesn't feel loved anymore so they decide to cheat.

The promise of staying faithful is voided due to an emotional promise being used and not a logical promise being used.

Emotional promises are a bad thing. Always. Do not promise something that is voided when you no longer are feeling it emotionally. If you make a promise, follow through with it. If you are feeling down in a relationship, you don't cheat, you talk to your partner. If they don't want to change, then you still don't cheat. You leave the situation or tell them you are going to go find what you are missing. You don't lie, cheat, decieve, etc. You be upfront and use logical promises.

Never use emotional promises or do something against your promises just because of emotion.

Don't Be Reactionary

2013-02-27T16:47:00.002-06:00

Something that was hard to learn but excellent to learn is to not be reactionary. Now what does it mean to be reactionary?

It means that you listen to what someone has to say, attempt to see where they are coming from, and if you think it is reasonable to give them a response then do it in a calm and cool manner. Do not fly off the hinges and be super passionate about something that is probably mundane and doesn't require that amount of passion.

Being reactionary is a very emotional response that tends to have very little logic in it. Pay attention to older folks in how they deal with high pressure situations or just situations in general. They are calm, collected and know how to respond appropriately. (most of the time... some old people are nuts)

Not being reactionary will help you when being talked to by supervisors, your Significant Other, strangers, potential partners, friends, etc.

Nobody likes someone freaking out on them because you don't agree with their oppinions on a TV show or movie or video game or sport or whatever it may be. Everyone has a point of view, and yes some are very very off and strange, but reacting with a high powered emotional response is only going to raise their gaurd and make them think you are unstable.

If you want a good idea of reactionary, then think of a woman dealing with PMS. Now don't go saying that they have PMS but PMS is a real thing and does effect some women to extreme lengths. It has to do with hormones changing rapidly and their brains not being able to keep up in the changes. Men can have this happen as well when taking medications. Pregnant women exhibit these things a lot because of the huge chemical changes going on the entire pregnancy and after even.

People get reactive on the internet as well and that just isn't helpful. Nobody wants to talk to someone like that. Sure, state your postion sometimes but you don't have to always be right either. Just slow your roll, cool your jets, bring down the enthusiasm of you retort, etc.

Acknowledge the Problem, Accept the Problem, Shift Focus

2013-02-27T16:27:00.005-06:00

When you are dealing with a breakup, a loss of a job, a death, or other massive life altering situation, it becomes difficult to not fixate on that issue. However some people tend to do a few things to get around this and some are healthy while others are not.

NOTE: There is no silver bullet to this either but this article should help a bit or at least give you another tool to work with.

Some things people do:

Drink excessively to drown the thoughts
Do drugs to drown the thoughts
Abuse Pharmecutical drugs such as xanex to drown the thoughts
Avoidance: Instantly deflecting the thought in favor of another.
Blame: Blame something else and not accept it as what it is
Denial: Say that it really isn't what it is and attempt to coast by unnoticed or unchanged

These work to an extent and people have been doing these things for a very long time. The way to get around pain like this or to forget is to not try to avoid it or blow it off. The only way to resolve a problem is by accknowedging that it is existant and needs to be dealt with.

I have been using a technique of allowing myself to fixate on the issue for around 10 seconds and then accepting it as shitty or what not and then asking myself if I can do anything about it. Once I answer with, "No, I can't change it." I then shift my focus to something else such as TV or finding something to do. Honestly, "finding something to do", is a thing in of itself. It is a task just like any other.

Write a list of the things you can do and then go about figuring out which ones you want to do and can do. Some things may cost too much, take too much time, just not fun enough, etc. and can be sorted to the bottom so that you may do the other fun stuff.

Making a list like that is best to do because in your mind it is difficult to retain those tasks as well as evaluate them. It is easier to write them down then sort them. This was a huge breakthrough for me to find out.

How We Can Speak in Our Mind

2013-02-27T07:25:00.003-06:00

This is taken from Reddit.com

This is all part of a memory system called working memory. Working memory contains many modules, one of which is called the phonological loop, that manipulates and stores auditory information. The phonological loop itself contains two subsystems: the phonological memory store, which is pretty much a 2-second tape that keeps auditory information in your mind for a few seconds, or as long as you rehearse it. The second part is the articulatory sub-vocal rehearsal module: that would be the voice that you use, for example, when you read, or when you repeat things in your mind to learn them.
Another part of working memory is called the visuo-spatial sketchpad. It basically serves a similar purpose, which is to temporarily keep in mind things that we see. It includes 3 subsystems, one of which is called the visual buffer, and contains your conscious visual imagery.

The two systems are related, and information can be translated in your mind from one to the other. For example, if you read a book, the information is in the visuo-spatial sketchpad, but for you to understand the content, it is "translated" into "auditory form" by your inner voice.

I recommend checking out Alan Baddeley's work for details, such as: Baddeley, A.D. (2007). Working memory, thought and action. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Source link: http://www.reddit.com/r/psychology/comments/ygd8w/the_voice_in_everyones_head_what_exactly_is_it/c5vcaie

Why People May Feel Video Games a Waste of Time

2012-10-09T19:28:00.002-05:00

Source: Post of menomenaa from Reddit.com says...

I'm going to make a guess, and I really, really want to make it clear that I don't agree that video games are a bigger waste of time.

Both watching tv and playing video games can be interactive experiences, but tv requires much less active interaction. You simply sit and watch. It is associated with passing time, with "winding down," with receiving very basic levels of entertainment. Video games, however, require a lot of concentration, interaction, thought and "effort" (when compared to television watching). I completely understand that a gamer could say the opposite, that it's just as calming and it doesn't feel like effort because you enjoy it, but from an outsiders perspective, a gamer looks like they're investing lots of things: unwavering attention, emotion from the highs and lows of winning and losing, sometimes frustration and always time.

So with those differences, I think it looks like gamers are putting in a lot more effort for a lot less return. There is this aura around gaming that the users actually think they're "winning" something or becoming the "best" at something. The idea that people can be good or bad at video games attaches the idea that gamers think there is something intrinsically useful or beneficial about playing. You can't be good or bad at watching tv. You just watch it. You're not trying hard, you're not "giving a shit" about it, you just watch. When gamers spend the same amount of time playing a game, I think others objectively look at it like..."you don't think you're actually accomplishing something, do you?"

It's almost like a societal worry that these gamers are not only giving time, but also energy, emotion, excitement for something that is arguably fruitless, and maybe that energy, emotion and excitement could be refocused into something useful. If a gamer is willing to practice, show passion and use strategy--couldn't they be playing guitar, couldn't they be reading? The engagement and skill involved with a video game makes it easier for others to imagine the gamer doing something culturally valuable, like a sport, a musical instrument, study. Tv watching just looks like a winding-down activity. If you're watching tv, you are tired--too tired to do something requiring energy. It's not easily translatable to something "Good" you could be doing with your life.

I also think people have disdain for those that are "trying too hard" to enjoy themselves, as if it's cool to be blase about their entertainment but gamers are trying too hard. But that might be way off.

TL;DR: video games require mental skill, effort, energy and concentration so it's easier for others to objectively imagine a gamer doing something "fruitful" with all those positive qualities during those hours spent. It's easy, then, to see those hours as "wasted."

I'm happy about the quality of that post. Thank you menomenaa of Reddit.

Changing the world

2011-12-08T17:47:00.000-06:00

You may have awesome ideas that are very idealistic. Reality however is real while ideals are not.

You cannot change anything unless you have the power to do so, regardless of the greatness of your ideas.

You cannot change the government by having a great idea.
You cannot change the company you work for just because you have a good idea.
You cannot change anything without the influence to do so. Money and power are about the only ways you can possibly make any change in the world.

"Who's your daddy?" Concept

2011-10-19T06:00:00.028-05:00

This phrase is taken by many to be very sexy and by some to be very disgusting.

I would like to clear up a few things so you can see the reasoning for this.

Men want to be needed. (please be sure to notice I said WANT to be NEEDED instead of need to be wanted or some other variation)
Little girls are seen to be innocent and pure
Dads are seen as a strong male leader who dominates the family with sheer power and confidence

The connotation of daddy conjures up a feeling of the innocent power gap which is powerful when in terms of sexual adventures. No the man isn't thinking of the woman as a little girl and no the girl is not thinking of the man as her father. It is purely the power and innocents which drives such an emotional rush while at the same time leaving behind the pedophile / incest concept.

However everybody has different hangups and different fetishes. So if your not into this then don't worry. If you are then OK. Not everyone has to be into the same things. This just merely explains it.

Comfort Zone - Getting Out

2011-10-19T06:00:00.026-05:00

Your comfort zone is the zone in which you tend to stay in. This provides you with reasonable amount of happiness as you are sure of the things in your comfort zone.

It would be things that you think are correct
Places you like to go
Things you like to do
People you like to talk to
Games you like to play
Food you like to eat
Other things you are comfortable with

This is perfectly normal. This just means that those things have already been validated that you know pleases you.
However if you stay in this comfort zone you are most likely to screw yourself out of many fantastic things in life.

It will disable you from learning more or having more fun. Most people are more towards more fun or are more towards intellectual things.

It is important to find what you are comfortable with and then push your boundaries outward. This can be seen as taking over territories in your own mind. Make it a game if you have to.

If you are all business then I would make sure to try new fun things that are not so strict and intellectual.
If you are all fun and have a hard time being serious i would try things that force you to be serious such as a class on something that involves intellectual things like engineering, mathematics, getting a structured job. Something that has structure to it.

It is important to balance your emotional well being as well as your logical integrity. This is the ying and yang of a persons self. Try to monitor yourself enough to push forward and GROW. It is important to grow and keep your mind, body, and soul / heart in working order.

Study vs Having Fun

2011-10-14T21:55:00.000-05:00

It is important to study to do well in school but it is also important to have fun.

Studies
If you study without fun you will become boring, ant-social, depressed, disconnected, and not know how to deal with people in the real world.

It is important to know to deal with people in the real world because if you cannot network or do well socially you will have a hard time finding jobs, finding a life partner, getting raises, making friends, enjoying life, and most of all knowing yourself. Being social will help you understand yourself more than you can comprehend at the start of your life.

Fun
If you only have fun you will fail to learn the key building blocks you will need in order to get into college or get a good job. The reason why your job is going to suck if you don't get some sort of education is because anyone with minimal intelligence can work a register or stock shelves or do labor intensive jobs. Have fun but make sure to get good grades. Grades are just a generic measure of what you show you have learned. It doesn't show what you know but it shows what you can prove you know.

Without studying you will misuse your limited chances to learn an enormous amount of good and helpful information that will help you buy all that cool stuff you want in life. If will help you get a good job so that you don't have to break your back in a labor intensive job that will ruin you with the same repetitive motions. In the old days there were many labor type tasks to do on the farm but in a labor intensive job you will tend to do the same very simple tasks that will screw up your body if you do them long term. Plus those jobs tend to not have air conditioning, won't pay for a mortgage, or a boat, or anything fun that you actually want to do. If you want fun, you need to be able to provide for it.

Summary
The key is to balance your studies with your fun. It is valuable to both be socially intelligent as well as facts intelligent. Knowledge and good social skills are a great combo but just one or the other will destroy your hopes of being happy and make you sad. Do you want to be sad? Didn't think so.

I know it is a hard to get out of your comfort zone. Look up that subject to get to where you want to be.

Don't Mix Ammonia with Bleach

2011-10-14T06:00:00.005-05:00

Ammonia and bleach are two common household cleaning products. Do not ever mix them as it creates a gas that you will choke to death on.

Don't mix ammonia with bleach!!!

The primary toxic chemical caused from the reaction is chloramine vapor, and possibly a hydrazine formation. (Yes it says chloramine and not chlorine)

What to Do If You Mix Bleach and Ammonia - First Aid
If you do accidentally become to exposed to fumes from mixing bleach and ammonia, immediately remove yourself from the vicinity to fresh air and seek emergency medical attention. The vapors can attack your eyes and mucous membranes, but the biggest threat comes from inhaling the gases.

Get away from the site where the chemicals were mixed. You can't call for help if you are overwhelmed by the fumes.

Call 911 for emergency help. If you really don't think it's that bad, then at least call Poison Control for advice on handling the after-effects of exposure and cleaning up the chemicals. The number for Poison Control is:1-800-222-1222

If you find someone who you think has mixed bleach and ammonia, chances are he or she will be unconscious. If you can, remove the person to fresh air, preferably outdoors. Call 911 for emergency assistance. Do not hang up until instructed to do so.

Thoroughly ventilate the area before returning to dispose of the liquid. Seek specific instructions from Poison Control so that you don't hurt yourself. You're most likely to make this mistake in a bathroom or kitchen, so leave and seek assistance, return later to open a window, allow time for the fumes to dissipate, and then go back to clean up. Dilute the chemical mixture with plenty of water. Wear gloves, just as you would for either bleach or ammonia.

Source: http://chemistry.about.com/od/toxicchemicals/a/Mixing-Bleach-And-Ammonia.htm

Living on Your Own - Things You Will Need / Want

2011-10-12T06:00:00.003-05:00

When you move out on your own you will come to realize that there is a ton of shit you didn't know you needed or wanted to have that your parents had readily available to you. This stuff adds up and you may want to go cheap on things. There are some things you will want to get cheap while others you probably don't.

I am making this list to help you out with that.

Some things you can live without but you probably don't want to as they are going to help you in your well being. We as humans can live without a lot. So this list is things you will want.

Italicized items - You can wait till later

Living Room

Couch (get at thrift store)

Coffee Table (get at thrift store or build)

TV Stand (get at thrift store or build)

TV (check craigslist or a website that has local classified ads)

Media Player (In the old days it was VCR and in my days it was DVDs and Blue-Ray. Who knows what it will be for you)

Recliner

Kitchen

Silverware

You may want to go cheap but don't. Go to the store and get sturdy silverware that has rounded edges. This will be more comfortable and they won't bend out of shape so fast. These you can keep for years vs. the cheap crap that you will end up replacing every year or so. You also don't want to feel like you have to be careful when you are trying to get at your food. That just isn't cool. It is a wise investment. You can also check out the thrift stores. In my day we called them Goodwill or Salvation Army. These places may still be around for you so you can check that out.
You will want about 8: butter knives, large spoons, tea spoons (regular size), and forks

Silverware tray - this is so you don't get your drawer all nasty and so that the silverware is organized.
Pans:

2 quart saucepan
4 quart soup pan
large frying pan
cookie sheet
muffin pan that holds 12 muffins
square griddle used for making pancakes
Banana bread pan
Pyrex cake pan (they don't stain and can be cooked in and are microwave safe)

Metal spatula

Plastic spatula

Big plastic spoon

Plastic pitcher - koolaid, ice tea, etc.

Cups:

4 coffee cups - that are easy enough to wash. These are good for tea, coffee, and hot chocolate
6 drinking glasses - Get tall thick cups. Do not cheap out on these or you will end up with broken glasses and shards in your hand. This is not fun. This is not a thing to skimp on.
2 wine glasses - this will be awesome for kicking back with a date and some cheap wine. Gives a classy but fun feel.

Plates - 6 Large and 6 small should do you fine. No need to get super fancy on this one.

Bowls - 6 bowls should do well. Get nice big ones. You will be happy that you can fit more soup and ice-cream into them. Make sure they are microwave safe.

Scrubbing brush for the dishes

Sponge / scrubber pad (cloth / wire weave kind that is washable)

Dish soap

Dish rack

Sink plug (most apartments don't supply these)

Pan rack - very useful for keeping pans in a useful and easy to get place as well as drip drying.

Microwave

Toaster

Spoon / spatula Utensil Holder

Ice cube tray

Plastic wrap

Aluminum foil

Muffin paper cups

Plastic baggies (freezer safe for meats)

Toothpicks

Pyrex storage containers - these don't retain a smell and are easier to clean than plastic containers. They are also microwave safe and won't make your food taste funky when reheating in them.

Tongs

Knife set - Get a knife set. This should include a set of bigger knives as well as around 6 serrated knives used at dinner for eating steak and such.

Pizza Cutter - This is an awesome thing to have if you love pizza. This is easily cleaned if you wash it within 5 minutes of cutting the pizza with it. After that you are looking at nasty dried on cheese and sauce. This is not good when it can go under the main support of the wheel on the cutter.

Funnel

Measuring cups - It is good to get a glass / pyrex one that has up to 2 cups on it. It is also good to get a plastic set that generally will include teaspoons and table spoons as well.

Mixing bowls - get a set if you can so that you can mix a variety of things at a time. This helps for semi complicated recipes.

Can opener - if you forget this you will hate yourself when you need it

Bottle opener

Cork screw bottle opener

Timer - the microwave won't always be free. Plus you can take this timer around the home for other things that are not food related.

Trash Can (13 gallon is a mid size trash can useful for kitchens) - Drill two holes on the side of the trash can about 2 inches below the lip of the can. This will allow the bag to sit in the can and you can pull it out easy. Don't put the holes on the bottom or you won't be able to use the can for liquids such as when you need to vomit.

Trash bags - Buy the drawstring kind that also don't break easy. Don't skimp on these or you will end up with nasty stuff breaking all over your floor.

Bathroom

Towels:

Body towels
Hand towels
Wash cloths

Shampoo

Conditioner

Bars of soap - you will probably want to test a few kinds first. Some soaps will dry you out or leave funky stuff on your skin. Some will make you smell funny when others can smell it and you cannot. So just buy a small pack to test these out until you find something you like.

Toothbrush - the electric ones work wonders are not not too expensive. Get one if you can.

Toothpaste

Mouthwash

Floss - just buy it even if you feel like you won't use it. You will be glad you did.

Band-aids - buy a pack of varying sizes. The plastic kind generally suck so try to get the fabricy kind. This may take a bit of experimentation to get what you find best.

Gauss pads

Medical tape to wrap Gauss

Large band-aids

>>> Toilet plunger <<< - I'm making this one super clear as it's easy to miss and if you do you will be very very upset when you need it.

(MALE) Electric Shaver - This will cost a bit but it will save you tons of money in the long run if you think that buying regular razors are doing the job fine.

(FEMALE) Razors - you probably want to stay smooth to feel sexy for yourself and potential lovers you end up having. Yea you don't want to hear that from dear ol' dad but guess what, it will probably happen and I'm fine with that... just read my other advice on that later on.

Soap dish - you need this for that bar of soap people are washing their hands with.

Small trashcan - trust me you will need this for your random garbage you create in the bathroom and you won't want to drag it to the kitchen.

Toilet paper - also known as TP. Make sure to get enough because if you don't you will be pissed when you run out. Running errands all the time sucks so just get a 24 pack and be done with it.

Deodorant - you may not smell it but others do. Maybe ask close friends if the stuff you are using actually works. Sometimes it won't. We are all different.

Cologne or perfume - just get it because you may need it for a special occasion. You don't have to have a bunch but it's good to be prepared for a random date or interview or whatever. Just don't pile it on or you end up smelling like a slut or douche-bag. Nobody wants that. Another quick note, some stuff lasts longer than others so be aware of that.

Shower curtain - yea you have to buy that on your own. Pick some that have magnets in the ends and are fabricy and if possible are resistant to mold. Some curtain types will get moldy faster than others. Make sure your bathroom has excellent ventilation. If it has good ventilation then you are all good.

Curtain rod - yea that too. You may need rubber stoppers for the ends too.

Shower curtain rings - that's what connects the curtain to the rod

Tub plug - you won't believe how easy that is to forget

Toilet brush - you will need this unless you want to have disgusting toilets. It can wait but just buy it now.

Pain Medications at the time of this writing. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. This is noted elsewhere.

Aleve gel capsules
Tylenol
Ibuprofen

Sudafed

Cold and flu cough syrup (Dimetapp)

VaporRub

Fingernail clippers

Toenail clippers

Tweezers

Thermometer

Antibacterial creme - this is used for cuts and scraps

Trash Can (7.8-8 gallon)

Bedroom

Mattress

Box-spring

Bed-frame - ***warning***... do you really want shit to fall under your bed?

2 pillows

2 pillow cases

Plastic mattress cover (kids beds or very wet sex sessions)

Bed Skirt - This covers the box-spring and makes it look classy
1 sheet

1 comforter (quilt)

Pillow protector - these go under the pillow cases and help keep moisture, bedbugs, sweat, oils from your head, etc. from going into the pillow that the pillow case does not protect from

Laundry basket

Dresser

Plastic hangers

Small garbage can - very useful for pieces of paper, wrappers, condoms, vomit, tissue paper, etc.

Bookcase

Footlocker - put random stuff in, valuables, etc.

Alarm Clock

NOTE: I did not mention a computer as that can be a completely different post and is very on it's own in terms of if you want one or not.

Random Stuff

Scissors

Laundry soap

Pencils - mechanical pencils are good. They don't have to be fancy however. .5mm lead is a fine and well working size.

Scotch tape

Duct tape

Electrical tape

Box Cutter - retractable and metal casing

Phone - If it is only adults in the household then cell phones are recommended. If there are children in the home then a land line is also recommended.

Drain cleaner - Draino or whatever is a good drain cleaner in your day

Scented candles - women love them and it's helpful when the lights go out

Flashlight - you will want this when the lights go out

Lighter - you may not smoke but you need it for candles and birthday candles and other random stuff

Mop type tool

Broom / dustpan combo

Vacuum cleaner

Dining Room - some people don't ever eat at in their dining room or the table. This is classier however and a date is going to freak out if you don't have a dining table.

Table - this can be simple or fancy. You can find your tables at thrift stores pretty often.

Dinning table chairs - you can generally find these at thrift stores cheap

Bills
This in a different post but it is important to remember you will have a fairly general set of bills that come with getting your own place.

Paid Slaves Concept

2011-10-10T08:00:00.003-05:00

Sometimes when you have a job you will still feel like you are trapped. I like remembering the days when people could plant seed on their farm and raise their cattle and whatever they wanted so that they were self sustaining. Now these days you are forced into doing whatever you are able to at the time. You can't buy up a chunk of land for a decent price and make your own way through life. Now if you don't go to school you are stuck in the wasteland of low paying jobs that treat you like a slave. You are paid just enough to keep you alive. The wages are enough to keep you around so that they don't have to train someone shortly after you get hired then quit.
We are paid slaves. We no longer are allowed to live by the laws of nature but are forced into paid slavery as you cannot escape the corporation machine that runs over the masses.

Go to school or suffer forever. You can strive to the top but it is a difficult and tedious task that will take hold of your entire life and strip you from being able to be truly happy with family and friends.

The pieces of paper that they call degrees and such are designed to filter out those who are not adequate or are extra special. However we all are unique and get more filtered out by the corporations as they sort and pick and chose resumes. They don't even pick by the best they pick by the most eye catching at first then later focus on details.

If you don't look good enough or don't stand out in a unique way you will be forever under heal. We are but paid slaves. The Amish and tribes are the only cultures left without a paid slavery type mentality. They work for what they get but they don't get screwed over because of number games and bad timing.

We all pretty much sell ourselves and our time. Some sell their strength. Some sell their mind. Some sell their body. Some sell experiences. We all sell ourselves in order to make money to survive. We are all prostitutes.

Contract companies make this especially easy to see. You will see a person at an engineering contract firm being rented out to another company.

The contract company is pretty much your pimp while the company you end up working for is the john and all the while you are the prostitute doing the dirty work. Most of the time contract workers are even seen as subhuman and treated poorly.

So when you are at work and are pissed off... realize that a vast majority of human kind never gets to escape that reality.

You are being paid to be frustrated. Once you understand that you will be much more at ease.

Women are like cats

2011-10-07T08:00:00.003-05:00

Women are like cats...

If you pester them they never want petted or held. If you leave them alone they will come sit on your lap and put their ass in your face.

OK OK...that was a bit graphic but women really are like cats. Not all of them but most of them to an extent. Let me explain...
When I was a kid we had cats. The cats would always bug my dad because dad never bugged the cats. He got attention from them because he wasn't a clingy crazy person that stalked them.

Me and my sister however always messed with the cats. They never ever came to us but always hid from us. Because we were stalkerish and clingy and they didn't like it.

Women are like that. They don't want a crazy clingy stalkerish guy following them around. They want a guy that has his own life and doesn't make her his entire existence....because that is super creepy. A man must leave the woman alone and let her want him.

You can't force love. You must accept or deny it. Those are the only choices. Force isn't one of the options.

If a woman wants to leave you...then let her. She will probably want you back if you drop off the face of the earth as soon as she dumps you or says to go away. She will wonder why you aren't sad. She will want the attention back. She will seek it out. If you keep ignoring her she will pester more and more...to a point. Then she will give up and go elsewhere.

This is almost on the lines of not being able to change someone....almost.

So if you like a girl...don't be stalkerish and clingy...its creepy and weird. Would you really like a girl doing that to you? No probably not. It's like having a hair stuck in your eye all day and not being able to get rid of it.

So if your stalkerish and clingy...STOP IT!!!

Life changes...roll with it

2011-10-05T08:00:00.003-05:00

Older people seem to live calmly and happy and without a care in the world. Why is that?

They have gained enough experiences in life to cope with whatever comes at them. (for the most part)

We can only deal with things if we have a coping system in place to process the situation. The more experiences you have in life the stronger the coping methods you will devise on the fly. Sometimes you will have to work hard to figure out solutions to your problems. (solutions - coping methods)
Life is going to throw the weirdest things at you that you would never expect. That is OK. You will live most likely. If you are going to die, you might as well learn to deal with it. (devise a coping method)

We all want to be happy and that is what we have to figure out. How to find the things that are still available that can make us still happy.

If you are dying you probably still have your favorite TV shows, family, favorite food, etc. You will find things that you can savor in the moments of pain.

If you are depressed you can see new premiering movies, go to concerts, comedy shows, dance, listen to music, go hiking, etc. You still have things that can light you up because you find extreme joy in them.

Job failure? Fix your problem that made you get fired. If you got laid off then go find a job. Most likely you can fix your problems and most likely you can find a job of some sort. I'm not saying that either of those things are easy to do. Those things are hard as hell to do. You still can do them however and preserve your sanity and life in knowing that in the future those things will exist.

The key to most things is knowing that emotion rules all. If you act desperate you will fail at jobs, relationships, friendships, etc. If you act depressed you will suffer at everything in life.

The key that old people have found (the happy ones at least) is that life is going to mess with you. It is the job of life to mess with you and to temper you into a sword of immense strength by the time you die.

The other key is that they learned that expressing frustration and anger and desperate behavior and any other negative personality traits that induce negative emotions into people will harm others which in turn will harm you. Your best bet is to stay positive, remain calm and progress confidently. If you still fail then you have done all you could.

Remember:

Calm
Positive
Assert yourself with confidence

If you do all three of those things then you will most likely be extremely happy and easy going.

Friends vs Lovers

2011-09-30T08:00:00.003-05:00

Have you ever thought you loved your friend and could be more? That might be possible. You sure have to have a good connection with someone to be a lover but that doesn't mean it will work with your best friend.

The kind of connections have to be special to work with a mate. You can have a great friend of the opposite sex but not have the feeling of love attached to it. You might not get that amazing feeling in your heart, mind, and stomach when you think of the person. You might think about them all the time. You might hang out with them all the time but that sure doesn't mean its going to work out for anything more.

What is it about a lover that makes them just that? What differentiates a best friend from a lover other than not taking the chance?
The physical attraction is a huge part of this. You have to be physically attracted to someone to want to be in a relationship other than a friendship. Both people have to want the other person. Heck you might have a physical attraction to the other person and love hanging out with them but have no want to actually live with them in cohabitants as a team.

You can live with a member of the opposite sex, have sex with them, be attracted but not be compatible on other levels that are wanted and needed. You probably don't have any idea what those things are either. That is why you have to explore life and figure out what you like and don't like and hope you will find the person you want for the rest of your life. That sure doesn't mean you have to not hang out with that person/s anymore. Life is better with more friends of many types.

Love vs Sex

2011-09-28T08:00:00.003-05:00

Love, sex, and sex with love. They are all different. Some say you can't have sex without falling in love. That is crap continued by people that have never had crazy sex with someone they didn't love. Just pure enjoyment.

Love is the addiction you have to someone. That feeling of awesomeness in your heart, mind and soul when you think about that special someone that has the same kind of happiness when you are around them. The same kind of joy. I say addiction not like an obsession where you are a crazy person but where the feeling of enjoyment arises when you think about the person or are around them or hear about them or has anything to do with them. It is not the constant thought of the person. Sure you probably think about them a lot but not constantly.

Sex is the great physical pleasure you have with someone you feel sexually/physically attracted to in a naked way. Where you want to touch and kiss all over them. Where you want to hold their naked body close to yours and feel them inside you or putting yourself inside them. The joining of two bodies for a blissful time.

Those are both separate. You don't have to be in love to physically enjoy another person.
However you most likely only come to love someone if you are physically attracted to them on a basic level.

You can like someone but not love them. That is possible.

Conclusion.
Sex can be amazing with love or without it. So if you wanna hump the crap out of someone and they are up for it go ahead and have a good time, just be safe. Sex is more enjoyable though when you have hot sex plus intense love mixed together. The feelings become heavenly. So intense you lose yourself.

Note: Please cuddle with your partner it is great.

Emotional/Mental vs. Sexual Compatibility

2011-09-26T08:00:00.003-05:00

Most people say don't have sex before you are married. Well that's a great idea and all for many reasons. For instance it will be a huge surprise...hopefully in a good way on your honeymoon night. Then there is the problem with having a kid that one person doesn't want and many other things.

You can be extremely compatible on an emotional/mental level and love being around each other but if you do not have the same sexual wants as your mate then you are going to have some serious friction in that marriage. Most likely it will break your marriage. Sex is intimate and a bonding experience not just pleasure for a married couple. The people that can't understand the difference between sex and love need to read about it.

The friction that is caused by two mates having difference in opinions about how much, how long, the quality of the sex, what kinds of sex, etc. will cause a marriage/relationship to breakdown. It is important that both partners have a similar (that doesn't mean identical) wants for sex in their relationship.

Women...not all men want sex all the time. Men...not all women like sex all the time. We all like it differently. The compatibility should be explored after the emotional and mental parts are figured out. Of course that is up to you but it works out that way often. You should definitely do that exploration before getting married for the rest of your life. It seems pretty bad but without that you might be in for a crappy ride and tons of arguments that leave each party feeling like their mate is not loving them and that their mate is retarded and or cruel.

In the bible it says at one point that the mans body is not his own but is his wife's and the woman's body is not her own but is her husbands. This means that whenever the other partner wants some they can have it. This works out pretty well. If you are up for it and have explored your partners sexual likes and dislikes and are similar then go for it.

You need to be compatible on both the emotional/mental and sexual levels or you will have some serious problems.