Life: 500 Words at a Time

Legacy

2013-05-04T10:51:00.002-07:00

It's almost a year since I sat down and wrote something on here - but I've been busy so get off my back. When you have a fan-base as small as mine - it doesn't matter how often I write stuff. I don’t feel too terrible disappointing a loyal following of 2 people – one of which cannot read yet. With that being said, my blog has been viewed over 1000 times (with 8 posts that means I'm getting approx. 125 views per post) - which is kinda cool. I completely realize 943 times it has just been myself and the rest has been my son Mason accidentally hitting the bookmark on the laptop - but I don't care! I'm excited!

So how has your year been?

This past year has been extremely trying for my family and me. We have gone through a lot. We are still going through a lot. This year has tested us physically and emotionally, we’ve had extreme highs and extreme lows – sometimes within the same day. We have battled and fought and failed. We have won and lost, laughed and cried. This isn’t meant as a poor us, please feel bad for us – this is simply meant to lay the groundwork for the meat of my post.

At one point throughout the last year during a particularly hard couple of days, I got to thinking about how everything sucks and poor me and why me and why couldn’t I catch a break and blah blah blah – basically one of those days where you want to give up and just wish with all your might that the world would somehow feel your pain and a magical being would make everything all right for you – so you didn’t have to deal with it anymore. It was on this day that a thought hit me – that completely changed my life.

The thought was based on my legacy.

What will people say about you when your gone? What will people remember about you? Let’s be completely honest here – when someone dies everyone says all the right things. How great of a person you were, how great of a parent you were, an amazing friend, a nice, kind, and gentle human being and the world is worse off for losing you. I’m not concerned with that. I’m talking about the real thoughts that people have about you inside their own head – or the things they will say about you when they don’t have to sugarcoat everything. I’m not saying all those nice words and thoughts are lies or fake – I’m saying there’s often more they feel than just that. Get past the niceties and the polite words about you – what will people truly feel in their hearts about you as a person? About me as a person?

It’s not the great moments that define you. You are not defined by the vacations, and the promotions, and any of life’s “great” milestones or happy memories. People are defined by how they act in times of danger, in times of struggle, and in times of pain. People remember your “good times” – but your “good times” are not what bring you to your next “good times”. Failure is. Struggling is. Pain is. People remember Michael Jordan’s championships and game winners – but those moments only happened because of all the work, pain, and failure that came before.

For anyone keeping track – I’m at 500 words already but it’s been a year since I’ve posted last – so get comfortable – this may go on for a while.

This past year will define me. There’s no way of knowing what is around the bend – and when things will get better or easier or just less complicated. But I realized that it’s not the “when” that’s important. It’s the how. That day when I just wanted the universe to make it all better for me – what would have happened if it did? What if all my problems were magically solved? People would say I was one lucky SOB. He really lucked out there – good for him. I don’t want that. While I’m sure it would be fantastic to be in a position where great things were just handed to you, and all of your dreams and desires could be simply asked for – and then quickly received – that’s not something I have nor is it something I wish for. That’s not the legacy I want. “He had an amazing life and never wanted for anything and had the whole world handed to him on a silver platter.” Good for that guy – I’m sure it’s great. That’s just not me. I’ve always been very uncomfortable with feeling like I got something I didn’t earn – and while it would be nice to have everything I ever wanted – I would not enjoy it if it wasn’t something I went out and fought for myself. Something that I felt I deserved. You could hand me a million dollars, a perfect marriage, the best behaved children ever, an amazing career, a beautiful house, and perfect health and I would have it all! While that would be great in theory – I’d much rather take my flawed life and put in the time and work necessary to achieve all of these things on my own. I’d much rather know at the end of my life, that while my life was not perfect and I didn’t achieve everything I wanted – I worked my ass off for what I had and every success we had as a family – directly came from that work.

I realized all of this that one day in the blink of an eye and my perspective will be forever changed. All because of that little thought about my legacy. About what my friends and family will think about the type of person that I am. All parents will tell you that having children makes you a stronger person – and of course it’s easy to believe. It’s quite another thing to truly realize and live that change in your own life. We will not only persevere together – we will succeed together. And while you may think a 1 and 3 year old are not able to offer too much help to us in our struggles – the strength they give us to keep going and keep reaching is more then they will ever understand. Until they have kids themselves one day, of course.

So thanks but no thanks Universe. Even if there’s a magical being up there a few seconds away from making everything all better – let em know, I got this. I will make it better and it may not be tomorrow or the day after – it may be years from now. But this guy will not stop. Every day – little by little I will be doing all the things it takes to get us where we want to be. I will not stop no matter how often I fall or fail. I will not be defined as one lucky SOB or a quitter. When I’m gone people will say, “He didn’t have the easiest time, but he sure as hell fought through it, took control, and made it better.” My kids will know that there were many times I could have given up in life. Many times I could have let my pride die – sunk into self-pity and talked about how the world hated me and I never got the breaks that other people did. They will know I could have quit or walked away and said, Oh well – didn’t work out the way I hoped so let’s throw in the towel. They will know that those thoughts were never on the radar – that I fought and fought until I was happy with where we were, happy with what we had, and just happy in general. They will know I made the hard decisions without looking back and the reason we are where we are today is not because of a lucky break. It’s because life threw everything it had at us – and it wasn’t enough to stop me. It just made me stronger and more determined until life had nothing left to throw. When life got tough – he’s the guy we could go to – he’s the rock that could hold it all together. He’s the person that could make even the worst of circumstances – manageable. He’s the man who tirelessly put in the hours upon hours of work that it took. The hours upon hours that many people were simply not willing or able to put in. That’s what I want people to believe about me when I’m gone. I don’t care if they say it out loud or tell people about it, but deep in their hearts that’s what I want them to believe about the man that I was. And to get to that point – it took a lot of struggling. It took a lot of failure, pain, sadness and work – but I will win my championship. And it will be sweet.

And if this helps anyone else change their perspective on their own struggles – well that’s just the icing on the cake. The way I see it – success in any aspect of life (be it love, health, career, etc…) is a pretty simple formula. Don’t stop until you have it.

Don’t become complacent with where you are – and don’t quit. Let everyone else get tired and take breaks and need time off – because you won’t. Do something every day to further your cause. All the while you are steadily advancing and gaining ground or furthering your lead Envision your goal every minute of every day. Get comfortable with failure and realize that’s just part of the journey – not an end to it.

Sounds pretty easy right? Haha.

I’ll let you know if it works.

Win!

2012-08-10T15:56:00.001-07:00

.CraigCardilino

Let me set the stage for you. I am losing at Candyland for the 15^th straight time to my 3 year old daughter. I dislike losing – and I tried really hard to mask the emotion on my face – but the 10th time she pulled a double move card in a row I just couldn’t help myself. “C’mon! Are you serious how is it even possible…” She stared at me with pure joy in her eyes and said, “Daddy, I love this game.”

Of course she loves this game – apparently she can’t be beaten. How annoying. If it wasn’t my job to teach her how quitting is never acceptable, I WOULD SO QUIT RIGHT NOW. I never said I was a graceful loser. I’m a terrible loser. Even in a game of Candyland with my 3 year old daughter. I completely realize how pathetic this is.

We eventually finished the game (she won, shocker!) and it was time for bed. Before we got to her room she turned around, gave me a huge hug and told me how much she loved playing games with me. I smiled and said “Of course you love it, you always win!” She looked at me and said, “Next time you can win too!”

There it was. She’s only 3. She doesn’t really care about winning or losing. She loves playing. The joy for her is not in the outcome, it’s in the experience itself. At some point in our development as adults we lose the joy from experience and completely obsess over the results.

Once this idea formed in my head I couldn’t shake it. We care about who won the game. What grade our kid got in Math. The age our son will be when he starts forming sentences. We obsess over what our yearly performance review said. How much money we make. How many people we manage. What city we live in. What kind of car we have.

Adults are living a life that is constantly bombarded by arbitrary “goals” and “achievements” that have been decided on by others and we judge ourselves, we judge our own self-worth, based on this win-loss record. Do you have a Mercedes? Win. Do you own your own home? Win. Are you in at least middle management or higher? Win. Do you have automatic sprinklers in your lawn? Win. Do you have to cut your own grass or shovel your own driveway? Loss. This goes on and on and on until at some point you end up with a win-loss record of yourself and where you stand in the league of “all other adults.”

We either hate or idolize people who are “undefeated” and pity those who are “winless.” We hope (sometimes secretly) to beat everyone else we know. We strive to be the best that has ever played the game. And towards the very end – we put our teeth in our mouth, sit on a rocking chair on the porch, and tally up the final score to determine if we had a good life or not.

And we rarely realize we missed the whole thing. The results-driven lives we lead give us no guarantees except one. It guarantees you miss the journey. Always looking towards the next goal, towards the next event, towards the next promotion, towards the next milestone, leads you directly to the day you look around and think, “Where did the time go?” “How did I get here?” “That went by too fast.”

Every second I was aggravated with Candyland for letting my 3 year old win, was a second I was not cherishing playing Candyland with my 3 year old. Every second you are obsessing planning a wedding is a second you are not cherishing being engaged. Every moment you are angry at yourself for going 0-4 with 2 K’s is a moment that you do not cherish being at an age where you can still play baseball – a moment you will do anything to get back when you are my age. Every second you spend looking out the windshield at the upcoming freeway sign is a second you miss the beautiful landscape to your left. Ignoring the journey is simply no way to experience the journey of life.

Now I realize no one can enjoy the journey all day every day of their lives. It’s not possible. Our world would screech to a halt and nothing would get done except for people laying around staring at the clouds and hugging strangers or something. Obviously, in order to take the journey we inevitably have to miss some of it, if just to make sure we are still on the road. But missing most of it is simply not acceptable, and it’s exactly what this society has become. It’s exactly what I have become.

My daughter has taught me a lot in 3 years, but this may be the biggest lesson yet. Just having fun, really enjoying yourself no matter what you’re doing, is the biggest win of all. She taught me that her record is a TON better than mine. And she taught me that once you truly get great at the game, when you become the Michael Jordan of this game – you won’t even remember you have a record at all.

Olympics!

2012-08-04T11:09:00.003-07:00

My wife has had a rough week. She has been doing everything around the house, taking care of the kids all day and all night and getting almost zero help from her significant other. I’m not on a business trip. I’m not at some retreat somewhere or volunteering all my time to help some poor humans who really need it.

My wife has been doing all the work because I have been sitting on the couch. Watching the Olympics.

My wife likes Gymnastics and was intrigued with the first couple times she saw swimming finals, but other than that she is completely baffled on why someone would feel the need to sit on the couch and watch 12+ hours of this stuff a day. If you or someone you know is asking this same thing – please read on. I hope to help you completely understand.

I am a man. Competition is in my genes and since we live in a “civilized” society I cannot just simply raise an army and start taking over territory anymore to prove how great a man I am. That leaves me with sports. I love them and I played them for my entire childhood. I, unfortunately, was not able to turn that into a career and I am getting to the age where even playing ball in the backyard with the kids has produced an alarmingly high amount of injuries lately. Also it’s hard to find the appropriate number of 30 year-olds to play a pickup game of tackle football when I’m really in the mood.

That leaves me with watching sports on TV. I’m from Cleveland and I root for all of the teams in my area but there are a couple problems with the NFL, MLB, and NBA that still leave me unfulfilled.

1. Cleveland sport teams have been mysteriously absent from any type of championship for quite a few years.

2. While I hate Pittsburgh and I hate New York – I really only hate them because of the sports “rivalry” I really don’t hate the actual cities like I hate Russia (Keeping the cold war alive folks).

3. Almost every single player on Cleveland teams are not actually from Cleveland (Thanks Lebron you douche.) In the Olympics – all of the people I am rooting for are from the actual place that they are representing.

So now that you understand the backstory – this is why I will wish every day for the next couple weeks that I could quit my job and watch the Olympics all day every day. This is why my TV will not be playing one single minute of Dora or Cailou for the foreseen future. This is why my wife has an extremely tiring couple of weeks ahead of her.

1. America is full of amazing athletes and we are in the running for basically every event. And there is nothing that I like to see more than America beating the best athletes from other countries.

2. The athletes I am rooting for are American. They represent America and they HAVE to be from there. I love that.

3. American pride is severely lacking based on the shape of things and nothing makes me feel better about this country than when we beat people at things.

4. In my head – when America beats Romania in synchronized diving - that directly equates to us being better than them and having the ability to immediately take over their country if we wished.

5. Let’s be honest – we have not been involved in a war like WW2 for 60 – 70 years. Our country has not been entirely united to fight and stop another huge world power that was evil and trying to take over Europe (and maybe the world?) since then (Cold war kinda). We have fought in Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq etc. Not exactly the cream of the crop when it comes to Olympic athletes. The Olympics allows me to once again feel like it’s us against the evil Germans, the evil Russians, the evil Japanese, and the evil Chinese (that war is coming folks). And a lot of the time we win. Feels great.

To sum up the entire argument in a few short sentences – here is what you can tell your wife. I am a man. I am not allowed to raise an army and attack other countries. I am not able to hop onto a football field and tackle Arian Foster. My ability to compete and beat people in order to fulfill this genetic need I have is becoming more and more limited as each day passes. Watching America beat all the other countries satisfies this need and allows me to go on with my life without constantly feeling like I need to further prove myself in some competition, be it sports or even fighting some dude on the street if that’s what it takes. I can go on living. At least for a short time. In 4 years the itch starts to come back. But don’t worry – we have planned ahead. As soon as the itch comes back – we will do this all over again.

Rio in 2016! Can’t wait.

Pants on Fire

2012-07-21T22:09:00.001-07:00

.Craig Cardilino

Today I had a realization. I was speaking with someone and realized that a lot of what I was saying was complete lies. I’m sure you know the lies I am talking about – the ones where you say something to be polite or because a specific answer to a question is just expected. “How are you doing?” “I’m fine, how are you?” The conversation I was having seemed to be filled with these types of lies and it got me to thinking… How often do I do this on a daily basis without even thinking about it? What are some other things I am lying about? Well for anyone who reads this and also has the pleasure of talking with me at some point – here are the things that I am undoubtedly lying to you about, and what I would say to you if I wasn’t such a huge liar.

Question: “How was your weekend?”

My Response: “It was good, how was yours?”

Real Answer: “It was really fun if you enjoy things like cleaning the house for hours, doing yard work, and fixing the thousand things around my house/cars that seem to be constantly breaking. I, on the other, do not enjoy these things. I spent the entire weekend doing these things while looking forward to the part of the weekend that involved NOT doing these things, which never came, and now I am back at work looking forward to next weekend. Next weekend which will also involve all of these things.”

Question: “Could you do (insert task here) for me?”

My Response: “No problem.”

Real Answer: “The last thing on Earth I want to do is this task you’ve given me. I have a list of 200 other tasks that I should be doing for myself, yet am putting off because I’m lazy. So sure, I will do this task and the whole time be thinking about how much of a problem it is.”

Question: “We should get together soon.”

My Response: “Definitely.”

Real Answer: “Haha, probably not. I’m either way too busy with things that are not fun at all but somehow take precedence – or enjoying the few moments in my life that are not consumed with going somewhere/doing something/accomplishing something. I will, however, text you in about 3 months and ask you why we haven’t gotten together yet, like I am surprised that it hasn’t happened.”

Question: “Daddy, what is that thing?”

My Response: “Ummm, I’m not sure honey.”

Real Answer: “The thing you are asking about is either much too complicated for your three year old brain to understand, something that is not appropriate for a three year old to know about, or it is something that I am not sure exactly how to explain. Either way, I will plead ignorance and hope you drop it altogether.”

Question: “What are you thinking about?”

My Response: “Nothing really.”

Real Answer: “I’m currently thinking about how hungry I am and excited about what could be for dinner. Afterwards I will be trying to remember if there is any kind of sporting event on television that I can watch, while simultaneously wondering if I can convince you to let me eat dinner on the couch, with no pants on, while watching this sporting event.”

Question: “I’m back from vacation! Did you miss me?”

My Response: “Haha totally.”

Real Answer: “Haha, nope.”

Question: “How’s work going?”

My Response: “Good!”

Real Answer: “I dream about winning the lottery and quitting my job 367 times, on average, per day.”

Question: “Did you hear about the (something newsworthy)?”

My Response: “I think I read something about that this morning.”

Real Answer: “No idea what you are talking about.”

Real Answer: “YESS! I read about it for like 3 hours this morning all in the hopes that someone would ask me about this and I would seem BRILLIANT by knowing everything about it!”

Question: “Would you like some more (food)?”

My Response: “Aw, no thanks I am really full.”

Real Answer: “There’s no way I could eat any more food right now. Unless it’s chocolate cake. Somehow I can always find some room for a piece of chocolate cake. Do we have any cake?”

Question: “Did you ever get that thing done we talked about a little bit ago?”

My Response: “Almost. Almost done.”

Real Answer: “I will start on it now.”

Question: “How are the kids?”

My Response: “They are doing well, thank you!”

Real Answer: “Its soooo much work! Why didn’t anyone tell us it would be SOOOOO MUCH WORK?”

Question: “Do you invest in stocks at all?”

My Response: “A little bit here and there, nothing crazy.”

Real Answer: “The tiny amount of money I have left after paying bills each week is invested in trying to convince my children to grow up and become a doctor or a professional athlete.”

Question: “Would you like fries with that?”

My Response: “No thanks.”

Real Answer: “I would LOVE fries, but I’m pretty sure I will have to dig through my car to find a couple extra dollars in change to pay for what I currently have ordered, so I guess I’ll pass.”

Statement: “I love reading your blog, it’s really funny!”

My Response: “Aw, thanks.”

Real Response: “Of course it is. Were you somehow previously unaware of how creative and hilarious I am?”

I truly could go on and on and on with this post but I have doubled my allotted words and will have to finish this topic sometime in the future. (The next time I have no new creative or interesting ideas I will just regurgitate this idea with a few more lies.) I am quite disturbed with how big a liar I actually am. It’s a bit depressing to tell you the truth. (I really don’t feel bad about this but I want you to think I feel bad so you don’t think I’m an awful person.) After writing this, I think that I will make a bigger effort to be a little more truthful in my everyday conversations. (Nope.) Hopefully this post will make more people realize how often they lie to each other and make everyone want to be a little more truthful from here on out. (Yeah, I couldn’t care less if you lie to each other.)

Until next time. (Please come back and read more of my blog so that maybe one day I can make some money off of this nonsense.)

@MotherGoose

2012-07-13T16:44:00.004-07:00

.Craig Cardilino

Last night I was reading my kids a Mother Goose/Nursery Rhyme book. They thoroughly enjoyed it, obviously, but I was really disappointed in the subject matter of all these nursery rhymes. Tuffets? Curds and Whey? People jumping over candlesticks? I think it’s time for an update Mother Goose. So, without further ado – Mother Goose meets 2012.

On her Facebook status, all Sally did was whine.

From her boyfriends a jerk, to the sun didn’t shine.

She hated all things, her food wasn’t good

The weather was crappy, her neighbors were “hood”

Anyone who read her status, including her sister

Should unfriend her quickly, and no one will miss her.

Buzzing and Rattling. Beeping and Ringing and Shaking

All day at the office John’s phone was always partaking.

Everyone wished someone would scream; to put him in his place

That is until Doug from accounting, punched John in the face.

Your homework this weekend is 200 math problems

And make sure by Monday you take time to solve em.

The kids didn't sneer or complain; not an eyelash was bat

Because, it just so happens, there’s an app for that.

iPhones are way better, Android is dumb!

iPhones are awful, Androids are more fun!

All of this arguing to see which phone is king,

A lot of commotion for phones that all do the same thing.

I have to read 200 emails and then send a text,

I have to make 21 calls and lots of stuff next.

Greg was confused why Kelly was mad,

This amount of work was really not bad.

I mean what exactly was her expectation?

Kelly just wanted to enjoy their vacation.

But I need my iPhone and I can’t live without cable!

Could I live without TIVO? I don’t think I’d be able.

Internet is a must and Netflix can’t be replaced.

No more Hulu would make all my fun be erased.

Spotify, iTunes, Tablets, Laptops, and Apps.

How else would I listen to music or use Google Maps?

When all these things are not with me, I just want to choke

One day I’ll get a job, my parents are broke.

Obviously I am no Dr. Suess, but this was a lot of fun nonetheless. Have some of your own? Want to give this a shot? Leave your poems in the comments!

Back in my Day

2012-06-22T13:59:00.000-07:00

.Craig Cardilino

I have had a few “back in my day” conversations lately and it got me to thinking. I remember hearing stories from my parents’ childhood and grandparents’ childhood and thinking “How did they live like that?” No offense, but no TV? Ugh.

This led me to thinking what stories I will tell my children about my childhood that will inevitably lead them to thinking “How did you live like that?” So this one is for them. Kids, this is how I used to live.

There was no Internet. If we had a question about something you had to look it up in an encyclopedia, go to the library, or most often, forget about it and hope it’s not something that comes up again.

We had to do all of our math homework based on what we remembered from class. There was no Wolfram Alpha that did it all for us.

If you wanted to buy something, you had to go to a store and write a check. Or you had to wait to receive a catalog and fill out an order sheet and mail it to them. Then you had to wait for them to deliver it. By the way – once it shipped – you had absolutely no idea where it was until it showed up to your door.

If you made a funny or embarrassing home video it was impossible to show it to millions of people. That is, unless Bob Sagat would show it to the world on America’s Funniest Home Videos.

There was no Facebook. If you wanted to know what your friends were up to you had to call them. If they were already on the phone you would get a busy signal and you’d have to call back later. If they didn’t answer? It would ring and ring and ring and ring until you hung up. If they weren’t home? Well that’s the next one…

There were no cell phones. To talk on the phone you had to be attached to a cord in the wall. Eventually there were cordless phones – but you couldn’t walk down your driveway without getting the inevitable static. And we were really excited by that technology.

Eventually we got these cool things called pagers. How did they work? Well they were really useful. Someone would have to be at a phone. They would call your pager number. The phone would beep and they would type in your phone number. Then this little box attached to our pants would vibrate and beep – mine had 3 different tones to choose from! – and the box would show you what numbers the person typed in. Then you would have to drive around looking for a pay phone (a phone on the side of the street that would accept money for the ability to place a call) and call that number back. Then you could talk to each other. Talk about convenient!

We were not able to text anything to anyone on anything.

We didn’t have computers at first. When I was 7 or 8 we got our first computer. I won’t get into all the technical details of that machine but let’s just say that my phone is about 1000 times better a computer.

Apple was a joke of a company and only 3 weirdos in your city had one of their computers.

Books were made of paper. You would get them from the library or buy them.

People read newspapers on a regular basis rather than solely use them to start fires in your backyard.

Email didn’t exist. If you wanted to write something to someone you would write it out by hand, buy a stamp, and then mail it to them. 7 weeks later they would get it and be able to read about things in your life that are outdated and probably not important anymore.

Speaking of mail – you would have to mail checks to pay your bills.

Seat belts were optional. For all ages.

People would smoke cigarettes inside restaurants and bars. If you didn’t smoke you could sit in the non-smoking section that was separated by a 4 foot tall barrier or nothing at all. Guess what? The barrier didn’t stop the smoke.

If you wanted to watch a specific TV show – you had to be home at the time it was on TV. If you weren’t home when it was on TV? You never ever saw it.

HD-TV? Nope. We didn’t have 1080p. I’m pretty sure we had 4p.

When you rented a movie it would be on videotape. They charged you extra if you didn’t rewind it before you returned it.

Trampolines had no nets around the sides to stop us from falling off. The point of trampolines for us was simply to be able to jump really high when we were throwing our friends off the side onto the ground. The springs were almost always rusty metal that was not covered by anything. Needless to say your Grandparents wouldn’t buy me one.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, however, as I have nearly doubled my allotted words for this post. I will continue in an upcoming post kids, but for now that should explain a little bit about why I am the way I am. Now let’s post this blog post on the Internet –then throw it onto Facebook – and watch some Netflix instant on our HD TV.

Don't Quote Me on That

2012-06-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

.Craig Cardilino

I love quotes. What’s not to love? Things that other people have said that sometimes relate to your life in a way that makes you feel, “Hey, I’m not some weirdly defective person who can’t relate to other people in any manner. This person felt the same way. ”

Sometimes I will just sit on my computer and search for quotes on all of the Quote Websites. I don’t want to know what possible misfortune could have fallen upon a person that would actually make them decide to spend time creating this, but I’m happy they did nonetheless. There are only two types of people who would ever end up on a website that is devoted to quotes. Bored people like me who have truly reached the end of the Internet and are looking for any single thing to grab their attention for 10 more minutes before they decide it’s time to go to bed, or college students trying to write a mediocre paper on a topic they have never cared about nor will ever think about again. Ever. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You need 100 more words to finish the paper so you look at some of the arguments you made and then frantically search for any famous person to have mentioned something about any of it. Then you throw in the, As blah blah once said, “Every action has an equal and opposite MC squared speed of light quotient.” This proves that not only do I know what I’M talking about but that this dead guy agreed with me in 1723.

SAVE. SEND. C+ Booyah.

I always notice when looking at quotes that most of the really good ones seemed to have been said over 30 years ago and further. There are usually not any good ones that are recent. I guess when a celebrity of any consequence dies there are the Facebook Newscasters (you know who they are) who will not only strive to be the first to break the story on your wall, but will also include a nice quote from the person for good measure. You know, just to increase their odds of winning that Pulitzer. There may be a bunch of quotes from comedians. But c’mon, those are jokes. Jokes shouldn’t be on quotes websites. They should be on those other infinitely popular websites. Jokes websites. Oh Boy.

So. In my infinite wisdom I have decided that it is time to give these quote website people some updated and really good quotes that they can feel free to use as long as they give me credit and also money.

Because if there’s anyone that can improve on some of the greatest quotes in our history given to us by the great minds of the time such as Frost, Einstein, Twain, or JFK its some guy from Cleveland with a blog that is being read by 7 people including myself 3 times and my 2 year old daughter one time on accident.

“If you ever forget to log out of your Facebook on a public computer, there is no one to blame but yourself for the fact that all of your friends have confirmation that you like wieners.”

“Sometimes my iPhone does this thing where the sound won’t work, even though I know it’s not on mute. I hate that.”

“Anytime someone asks me for directions I always point in any direction without even thinking first. Because shame on them for not having GPS.”

Hmmm. This is harder than I thought it would be.

“The only way…..to truly feel happy is to get really expensive things….. for free, like by stealing them.”

nope. Well….. hmmmm.

“Every time a politician talks, something happens that shows that politicians are not to be trusted in some way.”

I don’t know. I’m done.

This is dumb.

I can’t think of one single thing that's good right now. Who cares about quotes anyway? Who cares what other people said a long time ago? Are quotes even useful to anyone, really? Will they make your life better in some way because some guy thought something 200 years ago?

As French Enlightenment writer, historian, and philosopher Voltaire once said, “A witty saying proves nothing.”

SAVE. SEND. C+

Imagine

2012-06-07T17:52:00.004-07:00

by Rob Lohr

I’m one of the lucky ones.

I attended a Lutheran school from 3rd grade all the way through graduation. I was confirmed, helped out in church services as an acolyte, went to Monday night bible studies in high school, actively participated in our church’s youth group including going on several mission trips, and I even helped teach confirmation as a senior. In fact some of my fondest memories of high school came from the church; from traveling to Juarez Mexico to San Francisco to a Blackfoot indian reservation outside of Glacier National Park.Though I’m far from perfect (which anyone that knows me can attest to) church and religion set up a foundation for who I am today.

Now I’m 27 years old, almost a decade out of highschool. For the last nine years I haven’t attended a single church service that wasn’t either on Christmas, Easter, a wedding or a funeral; nor would I even come close to identifying myself as Lutheran. “Christian” would even be a stretch.

Yet still I consider myself one of the lucky ones.

I should probably explain.

After high school I went off to college and like most college kids start discovering what kind of individual I was and who I wanted to be; questioning previous assumptions and beliefs, learning new things, meeting a wide variety of people. I moved away from the church, but it was and still is a very important part of who I am.

Over the years spirituality appears to be falling out of religion. Personal faith becoming less important than following rules, custom, and tradition; both ideologically and socially. Most importantly and disturbingly, what happened to the LOVE?

There’s the Westboro Baptist church that blames earthquakes and tsunamis on gay people, pickets soldiers funerals, and holds up signs that read “God hates _____”. Recently North Carolina’s lovely Pastor Worley who called for all homosexuals and lesbians to be penned up in an electric fence to die off has made headlines. Those are a couple stories out of countless ones. You can also go back and look at the historical record. One of the single largest contributors to conflict has been religion. Where’s the love? It gets even more ridiculous when the 3 major ones; Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, are constantly fighting like crazy. You may not be aware but they believe in a TON of the same stuff including the same god. It even goes beyond just beliefs and enters politics; Pro Life/Choice, equality, gay marriage, capital punishment, and the list goes on. All of this conflict from religions that generally value love. What is wrong with us? What happened to the love?

I’d like to leave you with a thought. Did Jesus judge gays, prostitutes, other cultures, the diseased, the homeless, or the poor? To quote Joan Osbourne, “What if god was one of us?” What would god think about what we’ve become, about all the love that’s seemingly been forgotten? The bible records only two commandments given by Jesus, one being applicable regardless of your beliefs: Love your neighbor as yourself. That concept is a daily struggle for me. However, I’m going to try to at least once per day to show love where I normally wouldn’t, and I challenge you to do the same. In the words of John Lennon:

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people living life in peace

You, you may say

I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

I hope some day you'll join us

And the world will be as one

Imagine love.
-RL

"Your Problems are Shit"

2012-06-06T16:12:00.000-07:00

by Craig Cardilino

I have a stressful life.

Work is demanding, home is demanding. Quite regularly things go horribly wrong and must be addressed. I have little money and lots of bills and I can go on for days complaining about my life and the things I wish would be different. Then – a day like today arrives. June 6^th. 68 years after THE June 6^th that would forever shape history and the world as we knew it. The day that forever puts me in my place with a smack across the face and a yell, “Your problems are shit.”

Historians have been studying this day for decades. There’s nothing I can say on a dumb blog that would contribute in any way to the billions of conversations about that day. I won’t even try.

D-Day has always been an event that has held an extreme significance to me. It’s recognized, sure, throughout the world and you will read articles about it for a day or so every year. I see it mentioned on the news briefly and Facebook posts here and there. I have never thought it was enough. June 6^th should be as big as July 4^th. There should be fireworks. There should be parades. There is not enough done. There is never enough done.

My grandfathers served. I don’t know if they were there. I don’t even know if they were serving at that time. Neither spoke much about that time in their lives to me. It was always something I wished they would, but something I didn’t feel comfortable asking about. It really doesn’t matter if they were there on that day or not. Serving alone places them on a level that I infinitely respect. A level far above me as a man and a citizen.

Every year this day makes me look inward. It is guaranteed that I will spend this day, June 6^th, every single year, obsessing about if I could have done what they did. And every year I conclude that I am not the man that any of them were. Not even close. I’m ok with that.

This is the day that makes me more proud to be an American than any other. In a time where this nation is falling apart, where greed and corruption run rampant within business and politics. Where the economy is still not recovering as people hoped it would. Where more people know the names of the Kardashians than know the name of the Speaker of the House. Where jobs are scarce and money is tight. Where privacy is disappearing and the rich and powerful take more and more from the rest of us. Within a country that is consistently adding more things to worry about than be proud of, this is the day that makes me proud.

Because those men fought.

Those men fought and many more men and women, just like them, continue to fight. They are the reason to be proud of America.

I don’t know if I could do what they did and continue to do on a daily basis. I guess I’ll never know. What I do know, however, is they are out there. They were on the beaches in 1944 and they are all over the globe today. Their legacy will forever live on. My thanks and infinite respect will never be enough. There’s nothing I can ever do to pay them back. They are the absolute best among us whether they want to believe that or not. They are the reason that my kids can live the lives that they do. They are the reason that I can live the life that I do.

How dare I complain about it?

-C