(The Best of) WSJ’s Best Online Tools for Personal Finance:

• Mint.com – I’m a broken record on this. Read why I’m such a fan girl here, here or here.
• Wesabe.com and Geezo.com – Financial tracking with a social networking component
• Simplifi.net and PlanwithVoyant.com – Tools to help you create a financial plan
• CakeFinancial.com – helps track investments and portfolios
• SocialPicks.com and Covestor.com – track investments and compare portfolio’s performance to others
• CreditKarma.com (another favorite of mine) – free credit score and advice for how to improve
• ZimpleMoney.com – Social finance community for loans; tracks and monitors social financial agreements (like loans between family members)

Article: Best and worst advice for recent grads from prominent experts

A personal favorite not listed in the article: Kiva.org – Kiva allows you to finance micro-loans for entrepreneurs around the globe (for as low as $25). When your loan is repaid, you can either get the money back or reinvest with someone else. A brilliant system if you ask me. (See my previous post: A Lesson in Micro-Credit and Loans that Change Lives)

Am I (and by proxy, the Wall Street Journal) missing any good online money management tools? Let me know!

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“Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it, and the more important it is to the growth of our soul.

If you didn’t love the project that is terrifying you, you wouldn’t feel anything. The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference.”

-Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles

From time to time I post notes on this blog from special books that I believe will really help people think about their lives in a new or different way.

I heard about The War of Art while reading Chris Guillebeau’s E-Book, 279 Days to Overnight Success. I saw the title and subtitle and without reading a single review or even the book description, I bought it. I was that desperate.

I hadn’t worked on my book in months, and it was eating away at me. As Pressfield describes it, “A low-grade misery pervades everything.” I thought I needed to figure myself out before continuing to write. After reading this book, I realized that while self-reflection is helpful, there are times that it is just plain procrastination wrapped up in a pretty bow. Or in my case, a complicated one.

What I loved about this book was the way it helped me frame my resistance, a sneaky form of inner critic that can seem very helpful at times. While this book is focused on writing, it applies to a much broader spectrum of efforts and touches upon procrastination, self-doubt, professionalism and fears that arise as we strive to fulfill our true purpose.

I believe we are all meant to be creative (check-out The Artist’s Way for the definitive book on this topic). To be creative is to be human, to be fulfilled. Pressfield helps break-down some of the common obstacles to creativity – he helps you get out of your own way.

Just like my last round of book notes, I preface this with a GET READY FOR A LONG POST! disclaimer. This book may not speak to everyone the way it spoke to me – but I hope that those who do read the full notes will come away with something truly valuable. Want to share books? Add me on Good Reads. 

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Steven Pressfield

Book One: Resistance – Defining the Enemy

There’s a secret that real writers know that wannabe writers don’t, and the secret is this: it’s not the writing part that’s hard. What’s hard is sitting down to write. What keeps us from sitting down is Resistance.

To yield to Resistance deforms our spirit. It stunts us and makes us less than we are and were born to be.

Does Resistance have to cripple and disfigure our lives before we wake up to its existence?

Any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity will elicit Resistance.

Resistance is Invisible: We experience it as an energy field radiating from a work-in-potential. It’s a repelling force. It’s negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.

Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will perjure, fabricate, falsify; seduce, bully, cajole.

Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.

Resistance is fueled by fear: We feed it with power by our fear of it.

Resistance obstructs movement only from a lower sphere to a higher. It kicks in when we seek to pursue a calling in the arts, launch an innovative enterprise, or evolve to a higher station morally, ethically, or spiritually.

The danger is greatest when the finish line is in sight. At this point, Resistance knows we’re about to beat it. It hits the panic button.

Resistance by definition is self-sabotage.

Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance because it’s the easiest to rationalize. We don’t tell ourselves, “I’m never going to write my symphony.” Instead we say, “I am going to write my symphony; I’m just going to start tomorrow.”

The most pernicious aspect of procrastination is that it can become a habit.

Casting yourself as a victim is the antithesis of doing your work. Don’t do it. If you’re doing it, stop.

What does Resistance feel like? Unhappiness. We feel like hell. A low-grade misery pervades everything. We’re bored, we’re restless. We can’t get no satisfaction. There’s guilt but we can’t put our finger on the source. We want to go back to bed; we want to get up and party. We feel unloved and lovable. We’re disgusted. We hate our lives. We hate ourselves.

Self-doubt can be an ally. This is because it serves as an indicator of aspiration. It reflects love, love of something we dream of doing, and desire, desire to do it.

Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember our rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it, and the more important it is to the growth of our soul.

If you didn’t love the project that is terrifying you, you wouldn’t feel anything. The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference.

Here’s the trick: We’re never alone. As soon as we step outside the campfire glow, our Muse lights on our shoulder like a butterfly. The act of courage calls forth infallibly that deeper part of ourselves that supports and sustains us.

There is a concept that one needs to complete his healing before he is ready to do his work. This way of thinking is a form of Resistance. What are we trying to heal, anyway? The athlete knows the day will never come when he wakes up pain-free. He has to play hurt.

The part we create from can’t be touched by anything our parents did, or society did. In fact, the more troubles we’ve got, the better and richer that part becomes.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve got nothing against true healing. We all need it. But it has nothing to do with doing our work and it can be a colossal exercise in Resistance. Resistance loves “healing.” It knows that the more psychic energy we expend on dredging and re-dredging the tired, boring injustices of our personal lives, the less juice we have to do our work.

It’s one thing to lie to ourselves. It’s another thing to believe it.

Rationalization is Resistance’s spin doctor. What’s particularly insidious about the rationalizations that Resistance presents to us is that a lot of them are true. They’re legitimate. What Resistance leaves out, of course, is that all that means diddly.

Book Two: Combating Resistance

Someone once asked Somerset Maugham if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration. “I write only when inspiration strikes,” he replied. “Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.” That’s a pro.

All of us are pros in one area: our jobs. Now: Are there principles we can take from what we’re already successfully doing in our workaday life and apply to our artistic aspirations? What exactly are the qualities that define us as professionals?
We show up every day.
We show up no matter what.
We stay on the job all day.
We are committed over the long haul.
The stakes for us are high and real.
We accept remuneration for our labor.
We do not over-identify with our jobs.

Resistance knows that an amateur composer will never write his symphony because he is overly invested in his success and over-terrified of its failure. The amateur takes it so seriously it paralyzes him.

The more you love your art/calling/enterprise, the more important its accomplishment is to the evolution of your soul, the more you will fear it and the more Resistance you will experience facing it.

A professional is patient: Resistance outwits the amateur with the oldest trick in the book: It uses his own enthusiasm against him. Resistance gets us to plunge into a project with an overambitious and unrealistic timetable for its completion. It knows we can’t sustain that level of intensity. We will hit the wall. We will crash.

The professional arms himself with patience, not only to give the stars time to align in his career, but to keep himself from flaming out in each individual work.

The professional will not tolerate disorder. He eliminates chaos from his world in order to banish it from his mind.

The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows that once he gets out into the action, his fear will recede and he’ll be okay.

A professional accepts no excuses: He knows if he caves in today, no matter how plausible the pretext, he’ll be twice as likely to cave in tomorrow.

A professional is prepared at a deeper level. He is prepared, each day, to confront his own self-sabotage.

The professional keeps his eye on the doughnut and not on the hole.

A professional self-validates: An amateur lets the negative opinion of others unman him. He takes external criticism to heart, allowing it to trump his own belief in himself and his work. Resistance loves this.

The professional learns to recognize envy-driven criticism and to take it for what it is: the supreme compliment. The critic hates most that which he would have done himself if he had the guts.

I like the idea of being Myself, Inc. That way I can wear two hats. I can hire myself and fire myself. It reinforces the idea of professionalism because it separates the artist-doing-the-work from the will-and-consciousness-running-the-show.

There’s no mystery to turning pro. It’s a decision brought about by an act of will. We make up our mind to view ourselves as pros and we do it. Simple as that.

Book Three: Beyond Resistance – Higher Realm

The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying. When we sit down and work, we become like a magnetized rod that attracts iron filings. Ideas come. Insights accrete.

The Mother of all Fears is so close to us that even when we verbalize it we don’t believe it. Fear That We Will Succeed. That we can access the powers we secretly know we possess. We know that if we embrace our ideals, we must prove worthy of them. And that scares the hell out of us.

Yeah, we lose friends. But we find friends too, in places we never thought to look. And they’re better friends, truer friends. And we’re better and truer to them.

We can’t be anything we want to be. We come into this world with a specific, personal destiny. We have a job to do, a calling to enact, a self to become. Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.

Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.

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First, a little context

Tom just graduated from UCLA with big dreams of playing football in the NFL. He signed with an agent, but got injured during the first event of his 49ers tryout. I believe that dream is still possible. But instead of waiting around, letting the circumstances get him down, or furiously treading water to stay afloat while looking for an entry-level office job, my brother took the road less traveled.

Tom is starting his own company for an idea he is passionate about (which I can’t wait to share when the time is right). Through his alumni network he found incredible business partners. He filed paperwork to get a business license and become incorporated as an LLC. He has a business plan, a break-even analysis, a logo and sample products in production from manufacturers in LA and China.

I am blown away, more every day, by how real it is. It is not just talk. It is the ultimate pre-emptive strike against the woes so eloquently described by Pamela Slim in Escape from Cubicle Nation (a must-read for other entrepreneurial office-dwellers).

With that, my Happy Birthday note

T-Bone,

I am so ridiculously, incredibly, unbelievably proud of you.
Your optimism, spirit and drive are amazing.
Your attitude toward life is inspiring.
You had an idea and you went for it.
You did not let a single fear hold you back.
You built relationships with people who want to help you.
You make people laugh. All the time.
The qualities that make you great at football – strength, speed, discipline, instinct and the ability to quickly process information – will serve you very well in business.
You are smart as a whip.
You make me proud to be a Blake.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
-J-Bones

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Now that's what I call FROSTING! (Photo courtesy of Flickr)

Last week Ryan Stephens published his list of Top 10 Gen Y blogs. You – readers, friends, fellow bloggers – voted me #6. Number Six!!! I was jumping up and down like a school girl when I saw that. I would have been excited about an honorable mention. Heck, I was excited to be on the ballot in the first place. I called my parents and friends as if I had one the lottery.

More than ever and long overdue, I am compelled to express out loud the gratitude I feel every day. 

Thank you. 

Thank you to those of you who subscribe via email. Every time I see your name on my subscriber list, I smile and send you lots of happy thoughts. 

Thank you to those who read in a feed reader - even though I do not know exactly who you are, I know you are out there! I’m honored to be among your (ever-expanding, I’m sure) list of blogs worth reading. 

To those reading this blog for the first time – today, right now – welcome, and I look forward to getting to know you better! 

Thanks for your insightful comments and your emails. Every one is like a little present in my inbox.

A special note to everyone on Twitter - you make every day exciting. You never cease to fill it with connection, humor, intelligence and resources. I hope I am able to do the same for you. I am always so thankful for all of the @replies, conversations, re-tweets and the #followfridays. Non-Twitter folk, have I lost you yet? If so, read why I think you should join the fun! 

Thank you to those who have joined me and Jamie on one of our crazy cupcake tweet-ups, and to those who haven’t – either head out to SF or hopefully we will soon be at a city near you! (Read a great write-up of our most recent cupcake tweet-up by BrokeGradStudent.com)

Even before the Top 10 Gen Y Blogs nod, this post was inspired by a similar one at David Cain’s blog Raptitude. Thanks David, for your compelling writing and for such a sincere note to your readers. After reading it, I really felt I couldn’t have said it better myself. 

This blog is my playground. A fun, energizing place that is helping me “live the dream” of creating value, sharing it, and (hopefully) making people’s lives better one little step at a time. Thank you for being great readers and great friends.

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Editor’s Note: Carlos is one of the most charming, friendly, intelligent and engaging people I have met on Twitter, and English isn’t even his first language! I am thrilled to share his work on my blog.

“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

What do people mean when they say that someone “has potential”? What do they see in someone when they say that person will “get far,” whatever that means? Is it about having innate and undeniable abilities, like intelligence and charisma, that make an impact? Or is it about people betting on and predicting your future based on superficial first impressions?

The thing about potential is that it is never precise. Bosses, friends and acquaintances see people with potential as having “a bright future,” but it is often based more on gut instinct than anything else. Because there is no way to be sure – to know exactly how good a person will be, or what life decisions he or she will make. No way of telling how much of their potential will be fulfilled.

When you think about getting places, it is not potential that matters. It is capacity. It is your capacity that will give you results if you put it to work. But other people don’t always know what you are capable of, so they assign you a predicted level of “potential.” And until they really get to know you, the level of potential they see in you is a guessing game.

You have more control over other people’s impressions of your potential than you think. Why does it matter? Because if they think you have potential, they will support you. They will mentor you, fight for you, and give you opportunities.

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “fake it until you make it.” No matter what your capacity or level of experience is, if you can show potential, doors will start opening for you.

So how do you show potential?
By standing out, being different. Sound hard? I’ll go out on a limb and say it’s actually easy. Really easy. These are my personal tips:

• Be inquisitive. Ask questions. Lots of them. This is “Standing Out 101″ since most people don’t do this. Asking means “I don’t know everything, but I want to.” It shows ambition, which helps demonstrate your potential. Some people will be happy to answer your questions, and will be glad to have met you and supported you. Others will be resentful; they are the ones who you will probably leave behind faster.
• Be controversial, wisely. When you think differently about something that everyone else agrees with, take a risk and speak up! Be open and leave room for being wrong, but be vocal too. Being willing to speak up when you are the odd-one-out is a huge step towards showing potential, because it forces people to notice you, to listen to you. But be ready to lose the argument; remember, it’s not about being right, it’s about standing out.
• Be confident! Stand up for your uniqueness. For people to bet on you, they must believe in you. And they won’t if you don’t believe in yourself. Being confident is another way of saying “I’m a sure bet.”
• Be a rockstar. Go above and beyond what is asked of you. Be an essential part of the team. But don’t try to be the PERFECT employee, because being perfect means fitting in perfectly. You can’t stand out without having an edge. Putting yourself out there. Doing things differently.
• Be unique. It’s not up to me to define what is unique or not. Maybe writing poetry, maybe dancing salsa, maybe having a blog. Having a life outside of your mainstream activities will make people ask questions about you, therefore creating the mystery that makes you stand out. Potential is all about making people wonder about you, in a good way.

When you are alone, thinking about succeeding in life, always remind yourself that you have to give your best, that you CAN get where you want to, and that you are the master of your life. But when it comes to potential and people’s opinions of you, market yourself accordingly. “Godinize yourself.” Live on the edges. Be weird. Because being weird kicks ass.

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I recently did another promotional call with my good friend Jenny Ferry for the iThrive Experience workshop for women in Scottsdale, Arizona this Saturday. I’m really excited about the workshop – I will be giving a one-hour talk on personal finance called “How to Demystify and Gain Control of Your  Money.” I’m in great company with a handful of experts who are also speaking at the event, including Pam Slim, author of Escape from Cubicle Nation. If you have a female friend in Arizona, we’d be incredibly grateful if you sent her this link – it’s not too late to sign up, and the event is a steal at only $59!

For the last few months, Jenny has been hosting conversation-style calls about various topics with speakers from the workshop. You may remember my previous guest spot, “How to Rock Your Personal Finances.” Our last call was “Work-Life Challenge: Stop Forcing Balance and Find Your Flow” – a topic I’m sure many of you can relate to. I actually laughed out loud when Jenny asked if I thought this would be a good topic. ME?! Work-Life Challenged?! BAH. The reality: this topic is near-and-dear to my heart, given that I am juggling a full-time job with what (gratefully) feels like a full-time blog, trying to also make time for friends, family, relaxation and all the other things that make up a full, rich life.

You can listen to the call (approximately 40 minutes) by (or right-click to download). Note: the first minute and a half is chit-chat which you may want to skip! I have included a high-level outline of the call below and a fully transcribed version in a Google Doc.

Work-Life Challenge: Stop Forcing Balance and Find Your Flow – High-Level Outline

1:28-10:00 – Introductions, Background on our Perspectives

10:00 – Myths About Work/Life Balance

• That “life” starts as soon as we leave the office.
• That there is an ethereal scale hanging in the sky, and the sides will perfectly balance.
• The myth that once you figure things out, life will stay balanced (when in reality there is no “there” where you have achieved total balance forever).
• That we have total control over how big the various pieces of our life “pie” are at any given time.
• That being unbalanced is always a bad thing (sometimes you need things to be unbalanced so you can really go after what you want).
• That you will finish your to-do list and it will be done forever. There will always be things do to – don’t let the list control your life.

16:00 – Fresh Perspectives on the Work/Life Challenge

• It is all about flow – don’t beat yourself up when things get out of balance, just notice and adjust.
• Be okay with where you are in the moment, try not to carry guilt about the things you didn’t get done.
• Acknowledge that work is a huge part of our lives, not something to run away from; it brings confidence, sense of accomplishment and social interaction with others.
• Try taking a moment-to-moment perspective. Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”
• Let go of the notion that “I’m supposed to have it all YESTERDAY” (the great job, the great house, the great relationship, the great bank account).
• Relax a little bit, release some of the need for control, lift the oars!
• Realize that we cook up so much of what we “should” be doing in our own mind – for most of us there is not a real person cracking a whip telling us what to do, saying “get everything on your to-do list done!” We put a lot of pressure on ourselves, and sometimes we create more stress than we need to.
• Take a birds-eye view, bigger picture agenda for your life.
• Try to create balance within each day. Exercise, call a friend, go to work, do something restful. Rinse and repeat.

22:30 – Practical Tips: What Else Makes this Manageable for the Two of Us?

• Jenny Blake
  • UNPLUG! With Twitter and Facebook and blogging and email it all spills together, and it all centers around my computer and my cell phone. Sometimes balance comes from prying myself away from my electronics to go be outside or do something fun.
  • Exercise in the morning, yoga at night helps me to unwind and transition to a different state of mind.
  • Make a point to relax, schedule time with friends, have fun – hang out with funny people!
  • Journal – helps me be more aware of where I am satisfied and where I am wanting more.
  • Kick myself out of the “I’ll start tomorrow” mentality about things that are making me unhappy.
  • Awareness. When I’m not happy, I try to get clear on why and what might move the situation forward.
  • When I am stressed, I pick the three most important things on my list and just focus on those.
  • Block out time to reflect, slow down with things like workshops, coaching, journaling, etc.
  • Laugh! Remember that 9 times out of 10 I make things a bigger deal than they need to be.
• Jenny Ferry
  • Mix it up. Create a set of structures that serve as reminders.  Example: a red string around your wrist – reminder of a mindset. Alarm Clock – set an alarm on your cellphone. Put something on your screen-saver. Post-it notes. Carry a stone or pebble in your pocket. Whatever you need to do to remind yourself to be aware and conscious of your life.
  • Gratitude journal, music.
  • Visualizations and affirmations adapted from the book Creative Visualization.
  • Make a list of what you’ve accomplished each day (rather than focusing on all the things you didn’t get done).
  • Mix it up! There is no one way, no set answer.

34:20 – Final Plug for the Workshop

• We made this easy! It’s $59, 9:30-5:30 at a fabulous resort, The Royal Palms
• We have an amazing line-up: Pam Slim (author of Escape from Cubicle Nation), Eris Huemer (author of Break-Up Emergency), Annamaria Poluha (nutritionist and wellness coach), Yekatherina Bruner (an image consultant) and the two of us talking about big picture, career and money.
• The workshop will help women gain clarity, motivation and direction.

Clear your calendar and sign-up now for the iThrive Experience Workshop on Saturday, June 6! Not an Arizona resident? We would be grateful if you sent this to your female friends in the Phoenix/Scottsdale area.

Reminder: You have 3 options to get the full call experience: you can listen to the call in your browser (about 40 minutes), right-click to download, or click here to read a fully transcribed version.

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A little backstory on my love for coffee and how I talk to myself like a crazy person

The other day I’m driving to work, rocking out in my mom’s white minivan (which is on long-term loan because I’m too cheap to buy a new car). I’m in a good mood. I approach Starbucks, which much to my chagrin AND my delight is directly en route to my office. My internal debate begins: “Should I go?” “No! Make a latte at work” “But I want Starbucks!” “You work at Google, land of the espresso machine! Don’t you DARE pull over.”

I veer off at the last minute. I DESERVE an iced latte. I’ve worked hard and it’s hot outside. I get to the register. I also buy a breakfast sandwich. My total comes to $6.40. “No biggie, I mean, I would have spent at least $15 on brunch with friends anyway.” “But it’s Tuesday!” “Fine – then I’ll make up for it over the weekend.” Do you think I made up for it that weekend? Definitely not. In fact, I rubbed it in my conscientious frugal-self’s face by visiting Starbucks three times in one day! As you can see in the diagram below (courtesy of Mint.com), I visited Starbucks 113 times in the last year. Ouch.

Jenny's Coffee Shop Spending Last Year

So back to my point. I get that I’m talking about Starbucks here. A small purchase, given that I could be impulse-buying flat-screen TVs. But I don’t think it matters – I think the white lies we tell ourselves are similar on purchases big and small. I’m sure everyone has different white lies, and I would absolutely love to hear yours in the comments. Below are three big ones of mine, along with some strategies for counter-balancing them.

3 Little White Lies We Tell Ourselves When Spending Money

White Lie #1: The Coupon Mentality – It’s okay that I spent $X, because I could have spent $Y.

• Examples: It’s okay that I spent $8 at Starbucks this morning, because I could have spent $30 at brunch. It’s okay that I bought a $500 TV I didn’t need. It was on SALE.
• Why We Tell the Lie: It makes us feel better. We spend money we probably shouldn’t, then reassure ourselves by focusing on how much more we COULD have spent in some hypothetical scenario.
• How to Counter-Balance: When you notice yourself engaging in the “coupon mentality” – offer up a counter argument. On the Starbucks example, I’ve learned to remind myself “but you could have also made french press coffee at home for FREE.”

White Lie #2: I’ve Earned It! Over, and over, and over again.

• Examples: I can buy this new pair of shoes – I’ve EARNED it. I’ve also earned an amazing meal, $50 worth in drinks with friends, and a new haircut. And my 3x per day Starbucks habit.
• Why We Tell the Lie: Because we want to reward ourselves for working so hard! Totally justifiable. But how many times have you “earned” what you are spending money on? I am all for spending money on things that make you happy, and for celebrating your hard work. After all, we work so that we can enjoy our lives. Just be careful about how often you use this excuse. Have you really earned the 100th thing on your credit card statement or are you just getting carried away?
• How to Counter-Balance: If you are working and saving money, that definitely earns you some splurge/reward purchases. Plan them in advance. Make sure that your “I’ve earned it” purchases aren’t impulse buys – that they are items or experiences you really want. Another tried-and-true trick that your parents might have used: count the value of the item you are considering in work hours. These shoes cost two hours; this TV costs one week. Is it still worth it? If so, and you have the money, go for it.

White Lie #3: It’s Fine that I Overspent – I will TOTALLY make up for it later.

• Ahhh, the classic delayed payment approach. Hello, mortgage crisis! But alas, I digress…
• Examples: I’ll order this $50 item online (during the week) and go out to one less dinner this weekend. Or I’ll go on a week-long vacation, then stay home for two weekends (without going out) to make up for it.
• Why We Tell the Lie: It is the true procrastinator in all of us – why pay now or hold ourselves back today when we can just make up for it later? The catch here is that by the time “later” rolls around, we’ve either accidentally or purposefully forgotten about the IOU we made with ourselves. Convenient at the time, it inevitably catches up to you (and your credit card bill) later.
• How to Counter-Balance: Work in the other direction – save your money first, then spend it once you’ve earned it. Don’t make promises to yourself that you know you won’t keep. When you find yourself saying “I’ll make up for it later” pause for a second and ask yourself again, “will I really?” If you are genuinely committed to making a trade-off in future spending for a purchase now, that’s great – just find a way to hold yourself accountable. Maybe even stick an IOU to your bathroom mirror as a reminder of how much less you should be spending over the weekend or on next month’s purchases.

Alright, your turn to fess up. What are some of the little white lies you tell yourself when spending money?

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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” -John Allen

Change takes many forms
At its best, change inspires feelings of possibility, exhilaration, new beginnings, and opportunity. Making a change can be a breath of fresh air, a moment of pride, a powerful personal statement about what you stand for. Obama built a hugely successful presidential campaign around the theme of change. His was a message centered upon hope – hope for a better tomorrow based on embracing change today.

But change can also produce a great deal of fear, anxiety, confusion and sadness. Anyone who has experienced a difficult breakup probably knows what I’m talking about – the yo-yo between feelings of freedom and feelings of dread. Sadness over the loss, wrestling with unanswerable questions about why it happened, and uncertainty about what the future will hold. Sure – there may also be relief, excitement and hope – but it would be a mistake not to acknowledge the full spectrum of feelings that exist around such change.

Change is nuanced; no two changes are ever the same
Sometimes you choose to change – you make a hard decision, quit your job, end your relationship or move to another city. Sometimes you waffle about making changes – you weigh pros and cons without ever reaching a decision or taking action. Sometimes you want a situation to change but don’t quite know how to make it happen (hello, welcome to my dating life!).

And sometimes change chooses you whether you are ready for it or not. You get fired, get dumped, lose a loved one. These are not the changes that feel immediately exhilarating and hopeful. To call them inconvenient would be an understatement. But in time, these are often the changes we learn the most from. The changes that make us who we are and push us to question our assumptions about the way life works. These are the changes that encourage us to stop for a moment and re-evaluate our priorities and the direction we want our lives to take.

Embrace change and uncertainty

Image Courtesy of LadyFlyer.com

Regardless of where change comes from or the form it takes, we do ourselves a favor by embracing it. Enjoying the unknown and the suspense of not knowing exactly what is next. A friend once shared with me a powerful story that compares change and transition to flying on a trapeze. The author, Danaan Perry, talks about how you have to let go of the first bar to catch the second, a feeling that can be both exhilarating and scary. His message is that although we are often looking toward the next bar to grab, ultimately it is the unknown time in-between that is most valuable. An excerpt:

In my heart of hearts I know that, for me to grow, I must release my grip on this present, well-known bar and move to the new one. Each time it happens to me I hope (no, I pray) that I won’t have to let go of my old bar completely before I grab the new one. But in my knowing place, I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar and, for some moment in time, I must hurtle across space before I can grab onto the new bar…

…I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing and the bars are illusions we dream up to avoid the void where the real change, the real growth, occurs for us. Whether or not my hunch is true, it remains that the transition zones in our lives are incredibly rich places. They should be honored, even savored. Yes, with all the pain and fear and feelings of being out of control that can (but not necessarily) accompany transitions, they are still the most alive, most growth-filled, passionate, expansive moments in our lives. (Read the full trapeze story here)

Similar to Perry, I believe change and transition create great opportunities for growth. But you have to be ready to embrace that growth. Be patient with yourself, and be patient with your friends. Realize that change is complex and that we all have different thresholds for it. When we are ready and when it really counts, we all have the power within us to make and embrace big changes that move us forward in major ways.

Check out the other Inconvenience of Change posts when you get a chance – I love the richness of the topic and the variety of perspectives from the dozens of other bloggers who have participated.

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In the video I talk about working at the start-up company, running a marathon, my book, some thoughts about life and money, more on my post about achievement (as a blessing and a curse), a free coaching offer, and finally at the very end, a plug for Jamie Varon’s and my plans for World Cupcake Tweetup Domination. The video is about 15 minutes long. Enjoy!

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