Life After I "Dew"

The Kind of Mom I Am...

2013-05-20T07:00:00.000-04:00

You know how you read blogs, see pictures on Instagram or and update on Facebook and wonder what a day in the life of that person is like? What kind of mom they are? What things they let their kids get away with? What kind of limits they have, if any? Do they ever lose their cool? I do and I'm here today to tell you the type of mom I am, and the type of mom I'm not.

I am the mom that doesn't over-think things. Kendall doesn't want to eat lunch today? Fine, she won't let herself starve. She wants to sleep with socks and slippers, sometimes shoes, on? Sounds super uncomfortable to me but, hey, whatever floats your boat kid. Even when she was an infant Jimmy and I were pretty relaxed when it came to most things. We don't freak out at the first sign of a runny nose. If she was acting hungry, we fed her. If she fell asleep but it wasn't quite nap time, we let her sleep. I think babies and kids know what they need, so to speak, even when they don't and so we have always let her kind of pave the way.

I am not the mom that has patience. This is something I pray for on a daily basis and struggle with more than anything else in this parenting game. I have a short fuse, especially when it comes to unnecessary tantrums and just plain ole bad behavior. I have slammed doors, I have thrown toys, I have yelled to the point that my child is scared of me. I hate that about myself and it's definitely one of my biggest flaws. Thankfully it doesn't happen very often and normally it's very short-lived but damn, I hate it. Thankfully Jimmy is very patient and can swoop in when he can tell I've had enough.

I am the mom who is great with sickies. We have been fortunate that Kendall hasn't really been sick in her almost 3-years of life the most "sick" we've dealt with is when she had her allergic reaction to Amoxicillin. But through that and the occasional runny nose, slight fever I am a champ. Jimmy can't really handle the whiny, I can't do anything for myself, hold me, wah wah wah stuff. But, dare I say, I like the extra cuddles and the feeling of her needing me in those moments. Selfish? Maybe but it's definitely an area of strength for me.

I am not the mom who thinks my kid is an angel. In fact, when I was filling out her preschool forms it had me list character traits and I listed good AND bad ones. Sure I think she's the cutest, funniest, silliest, smartest girl to walk the planet but I also know she is challenging, demanding, strong-willed and independent {not necessarily bad but very difficult at times} too. If she's acting up at home or in public I am not the mom who is all "ladeeda, that's not my kid". I know when she's being a terror and I try to do my best to defuse it but it's not always that easy. Sometimes it means she sits under the table at Mellow Mushroom and plays a game on my iPhone. Don't judge.

I am the mom who will let my kid make a huge mess if it'll buy me 5 minutes of peace so I can go to the bathroom alone. Sometimes it's worth it, other times I think it would have just been easier to let her come in the bathroom and ask 5 million questions about what, exactly, I'm doing. Again, I struggle here because I like to keep a tidy house and the thought of yet another mess to clean up breaks me out in hives but if it allows me to do something that needs to be done, a mess will be made.

I am not the mom who is a germ freak. We don't always wash our hands after we go to the bathroom and we certainly don't wipe down the grocery cart with Clorox wipes when we go to the supermarket. I'm a firm believer that kids need to be exposed to some germs in their lives or they will never build up any immunity therefore making them more susceptible to getting sick in the future. Like I said, we have never really dealt with any sicknesses beyond the common cold and I like to think that's because we don't over-sterilize Kendall and everything she touches. Now, will I let her pick up a cookie off the floor of a bathroom and eat it? HELL no. But if we drop something at home we definitely follow the 5 second rule.

I am the mom who would rather buy something for her kids than herself. I'm really good at sticking to a need only rule when it comes to buying myself clothes, shoes, accessories and such but when it comes to Kendall {and now baby James} no way, I have no self control. I like to use the logic that they are growing and therefore need new things all the time, even when that's not the case. I'm sure every mother is guilty of this, right? Right!? I mean who can resist cute baby clothes?

I am not the of mom who is fun and creative. I wish I made half of the crafts that I have pinned on Pinterest. I have good intentions but when it actually comes down to executing these ideas, I fail, miserably. Sure we've tried a few things here and there but definitely not as many as I'd like. When we do sit down and attempt something it's usually fun and Kendall loves it but it's just not my area of expertise. Jimmy is definitely the creative force in this house.

I am the mom who bribes my kid. Never say never, people. If we are having a especially trying day I am not above offering my kid the sun, moon, and stars if it means she'll put her shoes on without arguing, for the love! She's in this phase right now where she doesn't want to leave the house, ever, and so in order to get her to do so I usually tell her she can have a piece of candy, fruit snack, paint her toenails, whatever I need to to get her booty moving. Sometimes it still results in a struggle but most of the time I win. Or do I?

I am not the mom who dresses cute every day. Kendall might look adorable even if she's just in her lounge-wear but I promise, more days than not, I look like a hot mess. When I did my "Dressing the Bump" post everyone was all, "how do you look so cute all the time?" to which I answered "You should see me now." Because as I was typing that post I was in a maternity tank top and boxer shorts that fit last summer but definitely not this summer. Truth is, unless I leave the house, I'm usually wearing PJ pants, not even yoga pants, and a tank or tee with a sports bra and no make up. Just keepin' it real.

So, yeah, that's me, in a nutshell. I'm not perfect and I certainly hope it doesn't come off that way when you read this blog or see my pictures on Instagram. I do the best that I can and hope that in the end my family always knows I love them and is happy. I'm not perfect but I am a work in progress.

Kendall's Big Girl Room Reveal

2013-05-16T07:00:00.000-04:00

It's hard for me to wrap my head around this reveal because I'm pretty sure I JUST posted her nursery reveal. But alas I have a big girl now.

We started working on her big girl room transformation around Christmas when we got the bedding. I slowly started making changes to the wall art, changing out the baby blankets for baskets full of girly toys on the changer, new curtains {goodbye hideous valance!}, and moving the glider into the new nursery. Then one day in February we decided it was finally time to bite the big girl bed bullet and never looked back.

At first she didn't like all of the changes. She didn't want the mirror hung above her changer, she wanted the glider back and she definitely didn't want me taking her original wall art from over her crib. But now? Girlfriend LOVES it! Any time someone comes over she can't wait to show them her new!big!girl!room! even if they've already seen it a dozen times before {sorry mom}.

I had a hard time just picking the bedding because while I wanted her room to be all Big Girl I still wanted it to be toddler appropriate, she's only 2 after all. But Jimmy and I both fell in love with the owls and most importantly it matched her walls already {even if I secretly wanted to repaint them}.

Her butterfly mobile and butterfly wall art that I made before she was born stayed put because I loved them and couldn't part with them just yet. Due to too many toys it was time to get her table and chair set out of the playroom and I thought it'd be nice to give her a little spot in her room that she can have quiet time and so she's got a little nook that she plays tea party mostly.

I knew I had to take down the board that was over her bed because now it just seems so baby-ish to me but I didn't know what I wanted to put in it's place. I thought I wanted to do the fabric hoop things but then realized it was more expensive than I thought. I thought about using the heart felt banner that's strewn across the foot of the bed but we liked it so much . Then there was the idea of a new decal and then I found A Fete Beckons on Etsy. She had the cutest pennant banners and in just the colors I was looking for without being too matchy matchy. Seriously, check her out!!

See that cute little end table? Oh just a little something I crafted up with some extra fabric I had from another Pinterest fail. I kinda love it and it's just what we needed for our books we read at night.

My favorite transformation is the wall that the changer was on. I never really loved that wall to begin with but now I do. It's kinda like a vanity only not. It has her little basket of lotions, girlfriend loves lotions, and then the shelves are just full of baskets with her little trinkets, mostly little things {dress up jewelry} that I wouldn't want the baby to choke on when he gets here.

All in all we love being in there. The best thing is that every morning when she wakes up she likes me to crawl in bed with her and snuggle for a few minutes before she's ready to get up and out of bed. LOVE that time with her.

SO WHAT! Wednesday

2013-05-15T06:00:00.000-04:00

This week I'm saying SO WHAT if...

I work out in my pajamas some days.
I ate an entire box of Kraft Mac&Cheese before said work out yesterday.
I really can't wait to get back into a REAL workout routine. But for now I'll enjoy eating an entire box of mac & cheese.
I really want to order the BabbaCo Summer Survival Pack for days that I just don't feel like leaving the house but fear not doing so because my toddler needs constant entertainment*.
I don't think anyone uses the "Pin it" button on my blog posts.
I forgot to take something out for dinner tonight.
I'm attempting to dye the fabric on my {pink} glider cushions instead of recovering them. It's cheaper!
We have gone through 2 pieces of glass for the 16x20 print that is going in the baby's room. Third times a charm? Because I got smart and bought plexiglass.
I got a cookies & cream milkshake at CFA yesterday.
I just finally got pictures of Kendall's big girl room taken. More on that tomorrow!
I really really want a margarita right now.
I made Jimmy pack his own lunch on Mother's Day.
I let Kendall watch Wreck It Ralph Saturday night and again Sunday morning.

*This article is sponsored by BabbaCo

Why Being a SAHM is Important to Me

2013-05-14T07:00:00.000-04:00

I can remember after Kendall was born the uneasy feeling I got every time I thought about going back to work. It's true that when we got pregnant I knew that staying home with our baby wasn't an option but I think deep down I was wishing, hoping and praying that something would change to make it happen.

I read countless blog posts of other working moms who were able to quit work as soon as their bundle of joy arrived and I remember getting mad, angry, upset, but most of all jealous. I swore if I read one more "I quit my job!" post I was going to scream. Why couldn't I be so lucky? All my life I've wanted nothing more than to be a mother and now I was finally getting my chance but it seemed like it was only part of the time.

I was lucky enough to have my mother-in-law offer to keep Kendall so I knew she was in good hands when she wasn't with me, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't me spending most of her waking hours with her. It wasn't me rocking her before her nap, teaching her how to crawl, taking her on her first trip to the zoo. It wasn't me.

I used to listen to the Dr. Laura show while I was at work and day after day I'd hear her say how mother's didn't belong in the workplace, they should be at home raising their children, no matter what. She, although a little outrageous in her views, had a point. We, as mother's, bring them into this world, we should be the ones raising hem. Now obviously circumstances don't always work in that favor and some mother's don't want to be a SAHM and, to me, that is fine too. But I couldn't help but feel like she was talking to me, day after day.

When my former employer notified us over a year ago that they were moving, and therefore giving us the opportunity to voluntarily resign from our position or move with them, I thought "this may be my chance, even if it's short lived" but I never really thought it could be my reality. I didn't think that we would be able to make it work, we struggled on two incomes, how on earth would we survive on one? When I asked Jimmy for his input he never hesitated, "resign". And so I did, and I never looked back.

Being a stay-at-home-mom doesn't just mean I get to wear comfy clothes every day. It's only perk isn't the fact that I can go to Target during the week instead of the weekend with all the crazies {although that is a BIG perk}. I didn't take this job for the love of daytime TV. The pay certainly isn't worth it but it's so much more than that to me. It's the opportunity to raise my child. Raise her the way I want her to be, learn the things I think are important for her to learn and know that no matter what I am here for her, I am her mother.

It's such an amazing feeling when I see or hear or watch her do something so smart and think that I had something to do with it. I doubt myself as a mother a lot but there is no denying the proof that is my brilliantly smart, almost 3-year-old. I mean of course I had a hand in that intelligence, who else does she spend her days with, learning from, and modeling after? It's all me and that's a great feeling.

Looking back I wished I had quit my job so much sooner. Sure times have been tough, they still are, but money is just money and we make it work. Some months we scrape by and we don't know how we do it but whenever the conversation of me getting another job comes up we quickly realize that it's not worth it, to us.

I am sad that I waited until Kendall was 18 months before deciding to be a SAHM. If we would have made the decision sooner I can't help but think how much closer she and I would be today. I think of all the things I missed out on while I was being miserable at work. And then I think of how grateful I am for the time I have had with her and will have with her baby brother.

I have gotten several emails over the past year{ish} asking what Jimmy and I have done to "make it work" or if I have any tips for those wishing to be SAHMs but don't think they can financially. My advice to them is that if you really want it to work, you make it work. You cancel cable and watch Teen Mom 2 on the internet. If you have credit cards out the wazoo you can consolidate. I just got our internet bill lowered by $20/month just by making a phone call. Cut coupons, try direct sales {if that's your thing}, refinance if it's an option, these are all things that have worked for us and are why we are able to finally make my dream come true. Because we wanted to and it was important to us.

Marriage Vows, Rewritten

2013-05-13T07:00:00.000-04:00

Remember how we went to church for the first time in 6 months and walked away thinking, "WHOA! If that wasn't divine intervention I don't know what is?" Well after that I started really evaluating myself as a wife. What things could I be doing that I wasn't doing already? What could I do better? What am I doing "wrong"? And I really started looking at me, through Jimmy's eyes.

When we got married we didn't write our own vows, I really wish we would have looking back now. So I thought to myself, "I can still write my vows" and so I did. I complied a list of new promises I want to make to my husband. Things that I have recognized about myself, he would never try to "change" me, that could use improvement and strenghten our marriage. Some of them are huge, some of them are small, some of them are silly but all are equally important.

I wrote a letter to him and inside were my "new vows".

I promise to shut down social media once you are home
I promise to not talk negatively about you to anyone. Ever.
I promise to start treating "blog money" as real money.
I promise to be more open to movie suggestions.
I promise to be more supportive of your goals.
I promise to be better about laundry so that you always have clean socks, underwear, and work clothes when you need them.
I promise to help with "your chores" when I can.
I promise to limit TV time and do more quality things, as a family.
I promise to send you a picture of KP every day. Because seeing her face will make even the shittiest day better.
I promise to make dinner more nights than not.
I promise to lose all of this baby weight {and then some} so we can be the hottest mom/dad duo, EVER. {wait, that one was for me...}

And so instead of nagging about things I'm taking the initiative to start changing things I do, leading by example, and that speaks volumes. Doing things, even when they are small, makes such a greater impact than harping on things beyond our control.

Some days are easier, I've missed a few days of texting a picture of Kendall, but for the most part I am succeeding at all of my promises thus far. I can already tell a difference in our marriage and, most of all, in my attitude. Instead of getting annoyed or saying things without speaking I simply remember what our pastor said about being a Godly woman and that by setting the example the rest of the family will follow suit.

It's funny, if I would have written my vows on our wedding day they would have been so much different than they are now. It kinda makes me want to renew our vows...maybe someday.

Do You Drink In Front of Your Kid{s}

2013-05-10T07:29:00.000-04:00

Last week I was chatting with my...cousin-in-law{?} about God, our faith, our marriages, raising our babies in this crazy world, etc and she brought up a point that I had not thought about and that was the influence of drinking {alcohol} in front of our children.

Obviously I'm not currently consuming any alcoholic beverages due to my pregnant state but I have been known to have a glass of wine or order a beer in Kendall's presence. I'm not talking shit-faced, wasted, drunk but a drink here and there. I've never really thought much of it, it's "mommy juice". Jimmy is the same way.

Over the weekend we heard Kendall say, "that's daddy's beer" and we both looked at each other, shit...this is not good. Jimmy corrected her saying, "no that's a yucky pop", same difference, babe. And we both agreed that we did NOT like the fact that the word "beer" was a part of our almost three-year-old's vocabulary. Parent fail.

My cousin-in-law brought up a good point, she said, "we wouldn't watch an R-rated movie {sex, drugs, violence, cussing} in front of them" and that hit me like a ton of bricks. Drinking is essentially the same. It's an adult thing. Whether you call it a "yucky pop" or "mommy juice" or drink it from a red Solo cup, it is what it is.

I'm not going to sit here and say that we are a changed family and that we are not going to be drinking in front of her {and future baby brother} at all, ever, anymore because I know that, even though I'm pregnant, there are days where I'm all, "pour me a drink" {no I'm not drinking while pregnant nor do I condone it}. With the arrival of our new bundle of joy brings on a whole new set of "headaches" which will leave me wanting some "mommy juice" by the end of the day. Jimmy has been limiting his "yucky pops" and hasn't been drinking at all through the week, just the weekends, but still in her presence.

So I got to thinking, do you drink in front of your kids? Do they know what "beer" is? If they're old enough do you explain to them that this is for grown ups? How do you handle this tricky situation?

Dressing the Bump- 2nd Trimester

2013-05-09T06:30:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well...I feel like it was just yesterday I was posting how to dress your first trimester bump and here we are dressing the second {almost third} trimester! But at the same time it feels like time is creeping by, so that's weird.

Anywho...the second trimester isn't as easy {or as cute} as dressing the first. Things are bigger, more saggy, harder to cover/conceal, and, if you're like me, you aren't able to wear much non-maternity stuff at this point. But that doesn't mean that you have to lack in the style department. You can still wear the trendy stuff {chevron skirts, high-low dresses and statement necklaces}and look just as cute as your non-pregnant counterpart.

Outfit #1: I didn't really get many shorts when I was pregnant with Kendall because wearing dresses was my

staple. I lived in dresses when I was pregnant with her. They worked for the weekends but also for my 9-5 job, they were prefect. This time I had to invest in a couple of pairs of shorts because dresses just don't make much sense at the park. But I need a tan before I go wearing these shorts too much. I got these in black and white so that I could mix and match them with a number of tops. Easy, peasy.

Outfit #2: Dresses with jean jackets are my go-to, pregnant or not. I love the look so much that I own 3 jean jackets in various washes because we all know that dark denim doesn't really go with light colors. I also usually wear flats, always. I don't think I've wore a heel or wedge or anything that makes me taller since I quit working over a year ago. Plus, I'm fairly certain that pregnant in the summer=swollen feet=you wear the most comfortable thing you can find. Also belting the bump is still ultra flattering and I think I'll still be belting things into the 3rd trimester.

Outfit #3: Every once in a while {like for a date night or something} I'll jazz up some jeans with a good wedge, no stilettos here. I kinda like the hippie/boho vibe of this outfit, even if I hate my arms in sleeveless things. This top was one of my #1 favorites with Kendall and now I'm just into the more form-fitting things. Call me crazy but I honestly think that the tighter things make me look and feel smaller. Just me?

Outfit #4: This skirt is not maternity and I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to wear it before those chevron stripes make my booty look like there's too much junk in the truck, but for now I'll rock it. I love how easy this is, tee & maxi, you can dress it up with some bling or dress it down with flip flops. See, pregnant girls can still pull off the trends!

Outfit #5: I am really into the high-low dresses that are out right now. I was nervous about wearing this "trend" with a bump because I was afraid it'd just look like I was trying to wear a normal dress but my bump was pulling it up in the front. Not the case. This bad-boy is from Walmart, believe it, and I kinda sorta love it. I think I'd love it more if I were on a beach somewhere but I digress. I think if I wore this without the cardigan/shawl I'd probably belt it and if I wanted to dress it up I'd wear some silver jewelry and silver sandals.

I'm fairly certain that the third trimester is the most difficult and most unattractive {think lots of jersey and cotton} but I'll be back with one more installment for your viewing pleasure.

What's your favorite look?

Outshine

2013-05-08T07:00:00.000-04:00

You know what I love most about summer? Besides having my skin get darker and my hair get lighter? Yummy, ice cold treats! Whether that's ice cream, frozen Italian ice, froyo, or popsicles. Nothing is more refreshing. And that's not just my pregnant brain talking. I promise. I posted this picture to Instagram a few weeks back, stating that I couldn't wait to try/review these {seriously love reviewing food, especially at no cost to me!}. Some people had already tried {and fallen in love} with these yummy, fat-free fruit bars. I had never heard of them but when I approached my frozen goods I was instantly smitten. Flavors like Creamy Coconut and Peach? Nothing screams refreshing, better-for-you, summer treat like those flavors. But I just had to try the Raspberry {Jimmy's favorite flavor of anything} and Coconut Waters {with pineapple}. Luckily the day that I got these just so happened to be 85 degrees outside and I couldn't wait to finish dinner and enjoy one of these with my little lady. We don't always eat dessert {even though I'd like to} but with these you don't have to feel guilty. We climbed up her Rapunzel Tower {aka her swing set} and she with her Coconut Waters and me with my Raspberry enjoyed a hot, melty, sweaty {her not me} treat. It was the perfect way to end a perfect summer day. As much as I loved the Raspberry I kept begging her for bites of the Coconut Waters, because the chunks of pineapple in almost every bite? To die for. I think it's safe to say I'm going to go back and buy every flavor. And I'm not just saying that. I think first up on my list is the Coconut Waters with banana {that might have to replace my craving for Pina Coladas this summer}. Now, who's ready to win $100? Leave me a comment telling me which flavor is your favorite {if you've tried them} or which one you are dying to try. Check out {and "like"} Outshine on Facebook for all the flavor varieties.
Sweepstakes Rules:
No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:
a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: "#SweepstakesEntry"; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
c) Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 5/8/13 – 6/12/13.
Be sure to visit the OUTSHINE brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!

SO WHAT! Wednesday

2013-05-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

This week I'm saying SO WHAT if...

I swore I wouldn't gain the same 40 lbs this pregnancy that I gained with Kendall but it's looking like I'm headed that way. But...I'm still exercising 3ish days a week so that's better, right?
Kendall pretty much lives in nightgowns unless we leave the house. She's now asking to change into them for naps {if she has clothes on}.
I suck at time management. My life hasn't completely fallen apart so it must not be that bad.
I had all of this weeks posts written by Monday.
I watch reruns of Friends whenever there isn't anything on TV. Which is a lot now that we don't have cable.
I'm never ready for nap to be over. I swear I need another 2 hours every day, just two, is that too much to ask for?
I hate living in the country in the spring, aka tick season. GROSS.
Real Housewives of Orange County is my favorite cast but I have still yet to see any of this season.
I am addicted to gummy bears and ginger ale right now.

Baby Dew #2: 25 Weeks

2013-05-07T06:30:00.000-04:00

Here we are, 25 weeks, so close to being done with the 2nd trimester and entering my third and final trimester. Holy cow!

I am still feeling great! I mean great, really. I have said it a hundred times over, if I didn't know I was pregnant I wouldn't know. Minus the fact that I feel him moving constantly and my clothes continue to get smaller.

Baby boy has been very active lately, mostly at night, and I love it. I have to say that feeling movement is definitely the best part of pregnancy and the part that I'll miss the most. Love feeling baby kicks!

Still haven't had any outrageous pregnancy symptoms. No weird cravings, no unusual aches & pains, no crazy dreams. I'd say the only thing I'm noticing is that I get tired a lot quicker. Walking on the treadmill has become and actual workout. Where I was walking at a 3.5 and incline of 3, now I can only do 2.5 at incline 3. And I'm sweating when it's done. So that's fun. But, at least I'm still exercising, right?

Sleep has been decent. I wake up about 2-3 times a night, whether to go to the bathroom or to get comfy. I have to sleep with a pillow between my legs or else my hips hurt something fierce. I'm normally a tummy sleeper so I have figured out a way to position the pillows just so and it almost feels like I'm sleeping on my stomach again, almost.

Baby James might end up being called Weston. I told Jimmy earlier this week that it's weird that we never really refer to him as James and how I was calling Kendall by her name from the day we found out she was a girl. I don't know if I'm not sold on the name or if it's just because I need to see him first or what but we have been talking about calling him by his middle name, Weston. We'll see. I think we're going to wait till he gets here to decide.

Did I mention I don't want to get any bigger? Because I don't. I'm perfectly happy {not really} at this size and if this ended up being the biggest I got I'd be happy. I know that's not going to happen so we'll deal with it. With that being said I am so motivated to get back to working out again. I am more motivated and ready this time than I was with Kendall and I'm actually looking forward to tracking my calories and running again.

And for comparison purposes, because who doesn't like a good comparison photo, here I was at 25 weeks with Kendall. I'm definitely more round this time and I like that a lot better than that weird ski-slope belly I had going on with her. At this point with her I was complaining about my feet hurting a lot so I'm thankful that that is not the case this time. I had also been having a lot of dreams {that ended up being true once she was born} and I've had a few like that this time so I'm curious to find out if they'll be true as well.

Up next on our baby agenda is finishing the nursery. It's so close to being done and it's coming together so perfectly I could pee a little. The walls and furniture have been painted, the curtains are hung, the clothes are in the drawers. We still need to put the crib together, get the bedding and changing pad cover, and hang the prints on the wall and it'll be a finished boy nursery. I can't wait to share it with you.

For now I'm trying to take it easy when I can, rest more per Jimmy's ~~demand~~ request. I'm trying to soak up this pregnancy and not wish it by too fast because I know it will the the last. With that being said, I'm thinking about doing maternity/family pictures. I didn't think I wanted too but now my BFF did them and a few of my fellow pregnant blog friends and I'm starting to get the itch to take some too. I feel like we need to document this time. We didn't do them with Kendall and I don't regret it but I think I would if we skipped them this time around. So, stay tuned, maybe I'll have some to share before long.

It's All About Kendall

2013-05-06T07:00:00.000-04:00

My big girl.

My heart.

My best friend.

My Kendall.

You guys! She's going to be 3 in 3 months. THREE! I feel like such a cliche mom saying "time flies" but at the same time I feel like she's been a part of our lives forever and I truly don't even remember our days pre-Kendall. What did we do with all that "free time"?

When I was filling out her preschool enrollment form I had to put down adjectives that describe her. If only there were enough line space. Let's see...smart {too smart}, funny, silly, spunky, energetic, independent, busy, talkative, adventurous, kind, strong-willed, sweet, just to name a few. She's so wonderfully challenging and equally rewarding all at the same time.

She's growing into quite the little lady. Her manners are so so good, she always says, "no, thank you" and "may I please", always. Makes me quite happy. She's still never had a hair cut or trim and I fear the day for both of us. I don't ever want to lose those ringlets {they're perfect, right?} and she thinks she has hair like Rapunzel so I'm sure if we even tried to trim it it'd be a nightmare. She's become quite the daddy's girl since Jimmy started working day-shift again and I have to say, I'm OK with it. I love seeing their relationship grow.

Pretty much everyone that encounters her talks about how smitten they are by her. Pretty sure she gets a compliment every time we leave the house. From how adorable she is to how well she talks it just makes my mama heart super proud. These are obviously things I think/feel on a daily basis.

She loves being a big girl. She's officially 100% potty trained and even wears panties to bed now! Big girl status for sure! She wants to drink from big girl cups all the time, even if the thought of her without a lid still makes me cringe. She is always saying things like "when I'm older" or "when I get a little bit bigger", mostly when talking about going to preschool or things that she knows are happening in the future.

She's starting to "learn to read" and I use "" because it's basically all memorization from books we've read over and over and over but it's still progress and a step in the right direction. In the same respect, she is starting to learn songs on the radio. Darius Rucker's version of Wagon Wheel came on the other day {I'm obsessed} and she started to sing the chorus and I was just beaming. But, now that means I have to be very careful about what is on the radio when she's in the car.

We went through a period where she wasn't eating much, at all, for a few months. I don't sweat those things, I know she won't let herself go hungry. Now, she's gobbling up practically any/everything I give her. Her favorite thing of the moment? Hard boiled eggs. Loves them. One day she ate 4. Growth spurt, say what?

Speaking of, can we talk about how tall she's getting? I'm not saying she's off the charts or anything but now that the warm weather finally decided to show up and I see her little legs in shorts I'm all "HEY, legs!". She just seems so much bigger. And then I remember that she's wearing the same shorts she wore last summer so she can't really be that much bigger, right?

She's still very OCD, and I say it in the most endearing way possible. She is very particular about things being in their place and gets bent out of shape if they are not just so. Also however something was done the first time, or however she's used to something being done, it has to be that way every time thereafter. For example, the first time we played on her swing set we were facing west, now every time we swing we have to face the west. I mean, is that weird?

I love every stage with her, as most moms say, so I just try to soak up each moment in time with her because I know it won't be long till we're on to the next phase. As much as I'd love to bottle her up I know that the next stage will be just as exciting, fun and rewarding. I just love seeing her grow into her own little person.

Green With Envy No More

2013-05-03T06:30:00.000-04:00

If you are anything like me you are always looking at other people and thinking "Whoa! She's so put together!" or "I wish I was that creative! How did she think of that?". No? Just me? I digress.

My point is I'm always in this constant state of thinking that the grass is always greener. Someone is always more creative, more stylish, a better mom, a better cook, a better wife, the list goes on. I think it's a natural thing in this blog world, to compare yourself to the next, best blogger.

But then something happened one day.

I was chatting with my friend Katie via text, yeah we're cool like that, and I was telling her how I envied her creativeness. If you don't follow her on IG I highly suggest you do. Not only does she have two of the cutest little girls around but every Saturday morning she makes pancake animals {panimals} and every weekend I die a little at the cuteness.

One weekend {Easter weekend} I thought I'd be all creative and recreate the Easter bunny that she has posted earlier that morning...yeah well...let's just say I'll stick to Easter egg pancakes. Anywho, I texted a picture of my version to Katie and said something along the lines of "Easter bunny pancake? Nailed it!" {insert sarcasm font}. I went on to say how I was seriously lacking in the creative department and envied her and on and on. And then she told me that it is not true, and that she actually envied the way I can put together an outfit better than anyone she knows. {I don't agree, necessarily, but I'll take it!}

And it was right then and there that I realized something. We are all good at something. So I might not be the next Martha Stewart but I can whip up a tasty, husband approved dinner more nights of the week than we eat out. I'm no fashionista {by any means} but I like to think I am stylish in my own way.

My point is just because someone else is good at something that you may not be doesn't mean you suck. Doesn't mean you should be jealous because chances are you are probably good at something that they may be envious of and admire.

It's easy to get caught up in the whole "keeping up with the Jones'", especially in blog-land but you just have to remember that we all have things we are good at. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses.

Also something to remember? Just because someone posts a picture of the super adorable something they did or made doesn't mean that there weren't 5 failures and disasters before that one. Remember, blogging is all about letting you see what we want you to see.

$100 Mother's Day Giveaway

2013-05-02T14:19:00.001-04:00

You know I love a good giveaway and even more when it's for a company I have worked with and love their products. That's where Outfit Additions comes in! If you've never looked at their store let me show you a few of my favorites. Mmmk?

via

Cute stuff, huh? So they are having a $100 giveaway just in time for Mother's Day. Or maybe just to get yourself some new pretties for the spring/summer. Who couldn't use $100 jewelry! The entries are simple and right now they are pretty low so your chances are good! While you're at it, shop around, free shipping AND returns, what's not to love?!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Think About It

2013-05-02T06:30:00.000-04:00

I saw this pin a while back and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Wow!

Could you imagine living such a life?

Maybe some of you could or maybe some of you do but I know I certainly don't. I know that I've shoved my size 7.5 {7 on a good day} foot in my mouth a time or two and have said and done things that I'm not proud of. I usually recognize when I do or say something stupid and am often embarrassed by myself just a few, short seconds later. Thinking before I speak is definitely not one of my strong points.

That's one of the reasons I love blogging so much, because I can write something, save it as a draft, come back to check it {make sure I didn't say something dumb} and then publish it. If only there were a "save as draft" button on my mouth in real life.

I've always prided myself on "being loud", being the person that gives her honest/raw opinion, not being afraid of what other people think, saying the thing that everyone is thinking but no one wants to say, etc. To a degree that is a good character trait but it's also a terrible one if not executed in the right way.

Now that I am a mom to a toddler I am reminded on a daily basis that little ears are always listening and little eyes are always watching. Kendall is now repeating almost anything and even when I don't realize it, she's listening and watching. For example, we NEVER refer to Jimmy as "James" yet she knows {probably overheard it in a conversation} that Baby James has the same name as daddy. So either she's a baby super genius {which I tend to think she is} or she's just always listening.

But not only do I need to live this way for her but for myself. I've been so inspired by so many things lately, bloggers, pins on Pinterest, but most of all our church and God. I want to be a woman of God and doing so means I need to clean up my act a bit. I want to live my life in a way in which not only will my family and friends be proud but in a way in which God will be proud.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy and I'm not saying that I will be a saint every day either. But, like all of us, I am a work in progress and I can only do my best.

I know that a few areas I want to focus on the most are being less judgmental, more accepting and more forgiving. It's not enough to just be a "good person" and do the day to day things that, by definition, are "good". I want to lead by example. For my family, for my friends, for myself.

SO WHAT! Wednesday

2013-05-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

This week I'm saying SO WHAT if...

I'm so anxious to have Baby James's nursery complete, even if we have months before we'll "need" it.
I was on top of stocking up on diapers with Kendall but so far I've only bought two packs for him.
I've been writing a lot of blog posts but I haven't been reading as many. I'll get caught up, I promise.
My poor husband comes home to a wife in yoga pants most days.
~~All~~ Most of my recipes come from Kraft.
I swore I was going to get on the treadmill during nap today but we're an hour and half in and I have yet to do so, so I don't see it happening today.
I got KP's acceptance letter to preschool and got a little emotional.
When I went for my 24 week appointment on Monday my doctor left me in the room w/the ultrasound machine on and the wand in my hand and I totally tried looking for baby brother's face only to find his spine.
I am still laughing at the comments I got on yesterday's post.

Also, the fabulous Miss Tara from Jimmy Choos and Tennis Shoes is expecting her first little bundle of joy this fall and to celebrate she's hosting a fabulous giveaway. Do you like shopping? Would you love to have an outfit styled by THEE Mrs. Gibby? Then head on over to her neck of the woods and enter!

Shannon // Tarin // Jade

Leslie // Aliya // Kristin

Morgan // Megan // Meghan

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Sitting This One Out

2013-04-30T07:00:00.000-04:00

Have you guys gone shopping lately? Like at a mall? To stores like PacSun and Buckle and Forver21? Me either {pretty sure none of them have or will carry maternity}, until this weekend.

Holy 1990s batman! I swear there were printed floral jeans in the storefronts that I wore in 5th grade, no joke. They were Jordache and I had the matching denim vest that went with them. So did my best friend. And before either of us would wear it we'd call the other. Some days we wanted to match other times we didn't. But never in my wildest dreams did I think these fashions would come back.

I know, I know, they say fashion comes back around every 20 years but I was really hoping that the 90s would skip that trend.

Jimmy and I walked int PacSun, Jimmy's usual go-to for summer clothes, and we were both like "???". My husband is no trendsetter by any means but he does like to have some cool threads every summer and this year he was all "I think I'm going to sit this one out".

He came home and got on my Pinterest account and started typing in "men's 2013 summer fashions" and was like "dude, do I really need to get these pointy toed oxfords?" and I quickly shut that shit down. No way. That's not how we roll. I mean he's just now getting into Sperrys.

Don't even get me started on the denim bustiers and high-waisted jean shorts {with a button fly I may add} that were staring me in the face at H&M and Delia*s. Excuse me? I'm just waiting to see the "BUTTON YOUR FLY" tees on display now. Please tell me I'm not the only one who remembers those.

Walking around was no different. A girl with a pair of acid-wash, cut-offs that could have passed for underwear. Another with holes in her {footed} pantyhose with sandals. Neon high-tops. Girls with half their heads shaved. I can't.

Is it because I hit 30? Am I an old fuddy duddy? Call me crazy but I'm usually somewhat hip to the trends but I have to say I am happy to be knocked up this summer to avoid all the craziness in the fashion world. I'm certain you won't see ripped leather jeggings and crop tops in any maternity store {at least I hope not}. So I'm gladly "sitting this one out" with my husband.

Here's to sundresses, pastel crop jeans, and denim jackets. Maybe next summer, fashion. Maybe next summer.

Stuck in a Rut

2013-04-29T07:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was our first day back in church in nearly ::gasp:: 6 months. What can I say, Jimmy working 3rd shift really messed it up for us. He usually slept until 11 or 12 on the weekends and I am guilty of being selfish and not wanting to deal with The Toddler and making sure we got to church on time, alone. Kendall hadn't been a big fan of church and every time we went it was a meltdown and one week the "teacher" even told us the only way she could keep her calm was to let her play with her iPhone. Yeah, we have that kid.

So rather than deal with the tantrums only to make it through the music portion of service to get pulled out, I just quit going. It was hard enough when Jimmy was with me so doing it alone seemed impossible. Poor excuse but it is what it is.

Saturday night Jimmy asked me if I wanted to go to church this weekend. I said, "sure" but only half meant it. It was more of a if we wake up, get showered and out the door on time, "sure". I wasn't fully committed. I woke up around 8 {another perk to Jimmy being on days is he wakes up with KP on the weekends now!!!} and by the time I had my coffee and breakfast it was 9 o'clock and I just figured we wouldn't go {church starts at 10}. And I was OK with that. But Jimmy pushed, he was determined to get us to church on time.

We decided before we went that Kendall was going to go to the Sunday school class instead of the daycare this time. Since she's used to only ever being left with family we had told her how fun it would be, she'd meet new friends, make a craft, sing songs, etc but she was even reluctant which made me even more OK with not going.

But when we walked through the doors I instantly felt like today {yesterday} was going to be different.

Kendall walked into Sunday school like a champ. She told the teacher her name, "Kendall Paige Dew" without hesitation and I finally felt good when we left that room.

When we sat down for the music portion of service I had finally looked at the program to see what the message was going to be about, "Stuck In a Rut- New Rules for Love & Relationships". It wasn't coincidence that brought us to church yesterday. God's handiwork was all over this.

At first I was all, "we aren't stuck in a rut!" but upon listening to the message, we totally are. We have forgotten how to communicate, respect, and honor each other {I still blame 3rd shift for this}. Sure we still loved each other but we hadn't been showing it, as of late.

Our pastor talked about communicating with one another. How submitting to our husbands {and husbands to their wives} isn't a sign of weakness, often confused with dominance, but a sign of strength. A lot of times our main goal in a relationship is winning and with submission you get just that. By submitting to your husband you are ultimately showing him that you are a Godly woman and showing by example the way of the Lord. I often times am guilty of speaking before I think, and my big fat mouth gets in the way of leading by example.

Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ...

Another point that hit home was the financial aspect. Jimmy and I are both guilty of spending money without talking to the other but then getting mad when the other does the same thing. We learned today that doing that to one another is not only a bad move financially but also very disrespectful of the other. When I stretch our budget too far it makes Jimmy feel like he can't provide for us and therefore inadequate. When he comes home with a fancy new "toy" it makes me feel like "well it's his money..." but in reality, it's our money. Our money should be treated as such and therefore should be something we discuss. Because, after all, we should be happy with what we have instead of trying to "keep up with the Jones'".

Hebrews 13:5 ESV

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Of all the days to decide to start attending church, yesterday could not have been more perfect for us, God definitely knew what he was doing leading us there. I'm actually sad that we missed the first part of the series and that next week is going to be the last. But I am grateful for what we learned yesterday and cannot wait to see what God has in store for us next week.

FOR SALE!

2013-04-26T13:53:00.004-04:00

I am selling Kendall's crib bedding. I know. I feel like we JUST did the nursery reveal and here I am getting rid of it.

Truth be told we don't plan on any more babies and what's the point in holding on to perfectly good bedding that hopefully someone else can put to good use.

So, I have the Pottery Barn Stella crib bedding, the comforter, bumper and skirt, for $75 shipped. All 3 are in practically brand new condition, we never even used the comforter.

Stock photo from PBK {no longer being sold}, has great reviews.

And here's some pictures I took. The skirt is hard to see but it's light pink with white polka dots, matches the reverse of the bumper and quilt.

Let me know if you're interested. Also must have a PayPal account. Thanks so much!

Celebrity Dish

2013-04-25T07:00:00.000-04:00

I know, it's been far too long since we've dished on our favorite A-listers around here, so let's just go ahead and jump in with two feet. Shall we?

Everyone's favorite trainwreck/Teen Mom, Jenelle was arrested and charged with possession of heroin and beating her new husband. I mean, hot damn, way to prove that you learned your lesson from your year on probation. And don't worry, everyone totally believes that the drugs weren't yours and that you are stone cold sober in your mugshot. I mean that Elvis sequin collared top proves it.

In other Teen Mom news, Farrah is still trying to stay relevant by shooting a personal video. Because when your body is at it's hottest the most natural, normal thing to do is shoot a porn with a porn star. Except it was just a "personal video" and no one should have even known it existed. Until Vivid started talking dolla dolla bills, ya'll. What's even classier? Taking your preschooler to said negotiations. Way to go, Farrah! You are empowering women everywhere.

Holy shit! Slade finally proposed! Except he didn't. Gretchen proposed to him. How ~~emasculating~~ romantic. That's all.

I can hardly believe my squeaky clean Reesie and hubby were busted for a DUI and disorderly conduct over the weekend. I don't know him from Adam so I'm not sure if this is out of character for him but Resse? OMG I couldn't be more shocked if I woke up with my head stapled to the carpet.

Seriously? US Weekly called this look "demure" and "cute". Perhaps I need to get the dictionary out and look up the definitions again but I'd hardly call this either of those things. She just makes it too easy. She also FINALLY got divorced. How did that shit take longer than the actual marriage?

Why, Mily, why? I mean I'm thinking a Britney-type intervention is necessary at this point. Where is Billy Ray?

Dare I say that Snooki actually looks good here? Even if it is a little Amy Winehouse-ish {may she rest in peace}. Maybe having a baby did her some good! Let's hope.

I hear Ray J has a new single, I Hit It First. I mean if that doesn't have klass {with a K} written all over it, I don't know what does. I still have yet to hear it but I read the lyrics and...OMG.

What else? I feel like I'm missing something. I have to admit I am not nearly as up to speed on my celeb garbage as I usually am and this makes me sad. Perhaps I'll pick up a copy of US Weekly, People, Star, In Touch, and Life & Style at the supermarket today.

SO WHAT! Wednesday

2013-04-24T06:30:00.000-04:00

This week I'm saying SO WHAT if...

I don't wash our sheets as much as I should.
We made serious nursery progress this weekend and I cannot wait to share it with you guys!
I still need to do KP's big girl room reveal. One room at a time, Shannon.
I'm going to go ahead and count walking at the zoo as my exercise for the day.
I've stopped cleaning my kitchen table until the end of the day. It's pointless to clean up the yogurt painting from breakfast when it's just going to get recreated at lunch and then dinner.
I'm letting KP nap on the couch right now.
We've almost got the nursery complete and we still have 4 months till we have a baby to put in it.
I can never remember if my mom's birthday is April 24th or 25th. It's the 25th {I think}.
I have an insane sweet tooth this pregnancy.
I have been going to bed before 10:30 now that Jimmy is on days again and it feels great.
I keep saying I have ENOUGH maternity clothes yet keep buying more.
I refuse to turn our heat back on even though we've woken up with our house in the low 60s a couple of times this past week.

The 3rd Shift Marriage Adjustment

2013-04-23T08:50:00.001-04:00

Since October Jimmy has been been working 3rd shift. 5:30 pm-4 am. It's been a LONG 6 months, let me just say that.

At first we were all, "This is going to be fine!" because he was only going to be working 4 days a week where he was working 6. Plus we figured we'd get all this hang-out time during the day since I'm home. Wrong. 3rd shift sucks.

3rd shift is for single people and people who hate their spouses, in my opinion. Thank God I am a SAHM otherwise this would have been much, MUCH worse.

But now that he's done, back on days, it's been quite the adjustment.

I wish it was all roses and butterflies and puppy dogs and rainbows but the truth is it's been hard. I mean I've gotten into this routine, albeit an annoying, I do everything, never sit down till 9 o'clock routine, but a routine nonetheless. I know exactly when to start baths so that we still have enough time left to "watch one SHORT show" {KP's words, meaning Dora, VeggieTales, or some other 30 minute program}, I know what to say when laying her down to avoid any meltdowns once I leave the room, I know that my kid takes.for.ever. to eat dinner. I know everything, basically.

How annoying am I?

Well apparently VERY annoying if you are my husband. And I get it.

His first day back on day shift should have been wonderful and fun and happy and OMG we can finally eat dinner as a family again but instead it was full of me barking orders because "THIS is the way we do things" and being aggravated when he wasn't doing things exactly as I do or think it should be. I mean who wants to hear that after working all day?

In my defense, he isn't exactly Mr. Perfect either. I mean we sat down to eat dinner last night and he had his phone out and even after I told him "can you please not have your phone while we are eating dinner?" he did it anyway. So that is annoying and something he needs to work on too.

It almost feels like we have lost a bit of our couple mojo {not the sexy kind} since he's been on nights. Like we have forgotten how to have fun together, forgot what it's like to have a real, nontexting conversation, forgot how to be Jimmy & Shannon in a way. It sucks.

So now we're at a place where we're figuring out how to be normal again. Last night, once I stopped being a bossy, control freak, we finally sat down for the night and we laughed together. We snuggled,we kissed, we had fun and FINALLY Jimmy got to feel the baby move! Every night when I go to bed is when Baby James is the most active and I usually send him a text saying something like "OMG this baby is going crazy! It's like there's popcorn in my belly!" and him saying something like, "Man! I wish I were there." So last night James was more active than he's ever been {I think he's glad to have his dad home at night again too ;)} and Jimmy finally got to feel him. And I think that was the icing on the cake of an otherwise unpleasant evening.

So here we are. Working on getting back to us.

I know that we are lucky, being that his 3rd shift experience was only 6 months, and a lot of people have it way worse but for us, this has been a struggle. I'm so glad that we went through all of this before the baby comes because I'm certain I would have lost all of my marbles if I were stuck being a 3rd shift wife with a newborn and toddler.

Just Because You're a Blogger...

2013-04-22T07:00:00.000-04:00

Just because you're a blogger...

Doesn't mean you are a celebrity. My husband once introduced me to his friends as "a famous blogger" and I was so quick to correct him. I love that he thinks I'm "famous" on the Internet but it's far from true. I'm just like you and you and you. I just happen to put all my business on the Internet for everyone to read. So I might get recognized when I'm at story time one week, while I'm flattered, that does not make me famous. At all. A few times I've commented on blogs and gotten a response from the author {ahem, Holly} that said something along the lines of "OH MY GOSH not THEE Shannon Dew!? I'm so flattered!" And I'm all over here looking around like "wha!?" because, seriously, who am I? No one.
Doesn't mean that you deserve to be picked apart because "Hey, you put it all out there" aka you deserve it. Being bashed does not come with the territory. It's a brave brave thing we {bloggers} do, putting our lives out there like this. We {sometimes} talk about very personal things and while yes, that is our choice it doesn't mean that it's easy. It's still hard to put yourself out there for everyone to read, make sure no one is offended, try to be likable be true to yourself all while being entertaining. It is NOT brave to hide behind anonymous comments and message boards talking trash. Period.
Doesn't mean because we want to share something we found, did, like, etc that we are bragging. I truly like to share when I find a great product or accomplish a really fun {in my opinion} DIY project or even just a super cute pic of my kid, that doesn't mean I'm trying to be all "I"m better than you" or "Look at me". It's called sharing. It's a very basic skill we all should have learned way back when. I mean, isn't that what blogging is all about? Sharing your world with people? So that might mean a super cute new outfit or a motivational workout pic. That, in my book, is not bragging.
Doesn't mean this is all we love or do. I try to be great about responding to comments and doing so in a timely manner, it is a pet peeve of mine when bloggers don't acknowledge their readers and/or take weeks to do so. With that being said, it doesn't mean that my life is blogging. I have a toddler, a husband, extracurricular activities, friends, family, a life outside of blogging. It might seem like you know me because it seems like I share everything but I can assure you that that is far from the truth. I'm sure the same goes for almost all other bloggers. Of course we share a lot but there is also a lot we don't share.
Doesn't mean you'll do anything for money. I know I do a lot of reviews, take sponsors, tout the occasional BlogHer campaign but that doesn't mean that I don't turn down a lot too. I get emails all the time from people who want to do sponsored posts or guest posting for money or free products and, while I'd love to help any/everyone out, I do turn them down too. People seem to have this perception that we {bloggers} all just want to make a buck and so, just shoot us an email offering us some cash or a product and we're in. Sorry, wrong. While I love to make money doing something I love {like blogging} doesn't mean I'm going to whore my blog out for some random ish for a couple bucks.

So that's what blogging isn't for me. What isn't it for you?

Raising Kids In This Scary World

2013-04-18T07:00:00.000-04:00

This weeks tragedy at the Boston Marathon has filled me with so many emotions. It's made me realize that no matter how hard I try to hide from the ugly it's out there, it's everywhere. I try to live in a place of happiness. Call me naive but I like to see the good in humanity and for the most part we, my family, are surrounded by goodness. But then something like this happens and it shakes you to the core. It makes you question everything, God included.

Even more disturbing is the fact that my child{ren} will grow up in a world full of hate, no matter how much I try to shelter them from it.

Right now Kendall knows no evil. Sure she's had her run in with the occasional bully at the playground but she still lives in a bubble where life is good and happy. She wakes up with hope and joy and nothing but positivity in her heart. She's ignorant to things like school shootings, marathon pipe bombs and child molestation. But that won't always be the case and that scares the shit out of me.

Growing up I can remember my parents being the more strict ones out of my group of friends. I had an earlier curfew for more years, I wasn't allowed riding in cars with teenagers {for a very long time}, I couldn't do a sleepover two consecutive nights in a row and I certainly wasn't allowed coming and going as I pleased or saying words like "hate" let alone any other four-letter-words.

Of course, at the time, I was all "OMG you guys, you are so embarrassing! What's another hour on my curfew? Why can't I go to Chicago with my two guy friends? Why do you need to talk to their parents? It's just a mile down the road, why can't I ride with Kelly?" I remember using the words "cut the cord" when I finally turned 18, an adult. And just like that, I know why.

As a parent you just want to keep you kid{s} safe from everything. That's what my parents were trying their damnedest to do.

I witnessed Kendall, for the first time, being genuinely kind and helpful to her friend at the library this morning. She's a little bit older and, therefore, smarter and she was helping him with a puzzle he couldn't quite figure out. When he started throwing the pieces she said, "We don't do that, that's not nice." And then helped him find them and picked up the pieces. It was a moment I hope I never forget and almost brought me to tears, right there in the middle of the library playroom.

I want her to always have this kind, helpful heart. I don't want her to be hardened by the cruel world that we live in or, even worse, live in fear. But I want her to be aware. Do you know what a fine balance that is?

As we approach preschool years I find my mind flooded with thoughts about her being out of my control for the first time in her life. She's always been entrusted with family members whenever she's been without Jimmy or myself and for that I am always thankful. But now she will be in the hands of a "stranger" for 4 hours a week and, quite frankly, that scares me to death.

I think about the 20/20 and Dateline segments about stranger danger and the "stranger" set up to lure kids into their car with a puppy. Do you know 9 out of 10 kids would approach said stranger? Kendall would be in that majority, she would. I think about how I need to tell her how no one is allowed to touch her privates except mommy and daddy {or grandparents in those situations} to help her go potty. I even had a terrible, terrible dream, and I can't even go there right now. But let's just say my freak is freaked.

And then the Boston Marathon thing happened and it shook me to my core. Evil is all around us and no matter what I do to prepare her for the outside world, there is nothing, nothing I can do to protect her from acts like this. Something as simple as going to a movie has been ruined. The innocence and safety of something so mundane as going to school has been taken away. As a parent I don't know that I will ever feel safe when she {and James} are out of my control.

And then, in such a tragic time you also see the good in people. People who will literally take the shirt off their back to provide a live-saving device for a complete stranger. And that's when you know it's Him. God is there and he still exists in people.

I'm not sure where we go from here. As an individual, as a nation, as a mother I'm still lost. I still don't know what to do, what can we do? How can we protect our innocent babies, make them aware of dangerous situations while not scaring them? It's such a fine line and I can only hope and pray that I do right by my child{ren} and that God will take care of the rest.

SO WHAT! Wednesday

2013-04-17T06:00:00.000-04:00

This week I'm saying SO WHAT if...

I have a new-found obsession with English muffins with butter and peanut butter. Literally have one every day.
I've started taking my showers at night. For the most part my hair has been holding up OK the next day. It's making my mornings more productive anyway and that's what I'm going for.
I am obsessed with baby kicks.
I'm worried that KP's room isn't "cool" enough now that I am in love with James Weston's room.
I think just talking about things on my blog actually solves problems. Sometimes.
I wish I had real pregnancy craving. Something wild like ham and marshmallows on rye bread with pickles and honey.
I am desperate to find a maternity bathing suit that doesn't suck. If you know of any, send them my way. Oh and they can't be as much as a small car. K thanks, bye.
I tell myself EVERY day that I'm going to go to bed early yet EVERY day it's 11 o'clock before I hit the pillow.
I keep a running to-do list in our kitchen yet I always manage to do everything except what's on it.
We ate dessert before dinner last night.
It was froyo, again.
I ordered our crib last night and OMG I cannot wait for it to get here! I mean, that makes it so much more real, right!?

Preparing for Baby Dew #2

2013-04-16T07:00:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, one can never be fully prepared for a new baby, whether it's your first, second, third or so on. BUT I'm not worried about me, not really anyway, I do worry about Kendall.

I obviously want this transition to go as smoothly as possible and we are trying to avoid too many changes happening around that time. For example we went ahead and tackled potty training about a month or two ago and it's been a complete success. She's 98% potty trained, as in she does have a few accidents here and there but they are usually just a little "oops" and she realizes it and we run to the potty. She takes her naps in her panties now but still sleeps in a Pull Up, just in case. I think it's safe to say she wakes up every morning dry but I just want to be extra cautious because, I mean, it's been like 2 months.

We also transitioned her to the big girl bed last month and so far so good, kind of. We had a few weeks where sleeping through the night was an issue {I talked about that last week} but now, besides waking up to go potty once a night, she's doing really good sleeping again. We have had two falling out of bed incidents but other than that she's taking to the new bed really well. It totally shocked me because she's very much a creature of habit and doesn't really like when things change or are different from what she's used to but she's handled this really well.

The next thing on our list of things to accomplish before James Weston is born is the binky aka "baa-boo". I swear this is going to be the hardest one for us. I swore we'd take it away when she turned one but then "awe she's still a baby!!!" and we let her keep it, telling ourselves 18 months would be the cut-off. That came and went and then we were approaching our first family car trip {12 hours with an almost 2-year-old} and I thought "HELL to the NO, we NEED that thing! But after the trip." Well, that was August. So here we are with a 2.5 year old who still takes a binky. In our defense, she's restricted to only having it in her bed and in the car but she knows and she relies on it in those moments. So yeah, any pointers there?

Something else I'm trying to do to get her used to the idea of a sibling is getting her involved in all the baby-ness going on in our house. When we do any kind of projects in the baby's room I let her come in and help me sort through clothes or even just play with her toys in his room {because, YAY! A new room! This is so fun {to a toddler}!!}. If we are shopping for him I let her help pick out some of the things we need and she thinks that is really cool, "yook what I got Baby Brudder!!!".

Now that we can feel movement on the outside I've been trying to get her in on that action but, if you've ever been pregnant before, you know how that goes. "OOHH come feel!!" KP puts her hand on my belly and nothing, of course. Last week she grabbed her doctor kit though and said, "let my hear him" and put it up to my belly and in that moment I almost melted into a giant puddle of mommy mush.

We also got a "Baby Brudder" doll aka a boy baby doll, since all of her dolls are girls we thought that it might make more sense to get a boy and start having her "help" do things with/for him. The amazing people at North American Bear Company sent us a Rosy Cheeks boy along with some fun extras like a changing pad, extra diaper, bib, bottle, toy, and blanket for him. Kendall has loved playing with him and I really think that it's starting to click that she's going to soon have a real baby to do these things with. She's gotten pretty good at changing his diapers and if she's not careful I may just put that skill to test when James Weston is born*.

And the fine folks at North American Bear Company would like to help you prepare for a new baby, buy a gift for your current baby or maybe you have a birthday party coming up and would love to save $50 by winning a $50 shop credit to their online store! The entries are simple and the giveaway will be announced on Friday! Good luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

*But we're trying to keep it fun. I mean she's only going to be our only child for 4 more months so it's not all baby all the time.

I was not compensated for this review, however, I was provided with the products pictured for review.