Life After Ukraine

Happy Valentines Day

2012-02-14T18:55:00.002-06:00

Happy Valentines Day!! I hope everyone has had a wonderful day. On this day of love, I can't help but think of my dear Carl. We shared a great love that even death hasn't broken. We never really celebrated the holiday because for us, everyday was Valentines Day. I look back on these memories and I'm incredibly thankful. Oh how I wish God hadn't taken him so soon but he blessed me with 20 years of countless "I love you's" and in the end, peace of mind that nothing was left unsaid. He also blessed me with the opportunity to hold my husband in my arms as he took his last breath and for that I am eternally grateful.
On this day of love I'm also thinking of the new man in my life. Over the past ten months, he has stolen my heart. Our love for each other seems to grow a little more with each passing day. How lucky am I to have been blessed with two great loves? My heart is overflowing.

For My Son, CJ

2012-02-09T19:28:00.005-06:00

My Dear Son,

Twenty-three years ago I met you for the first time. It was love at first sight. Really, it was. When I think about that day I still become overwhelmed by the sheer rush that I felt. I have never experienced a complete rush like that again and I can in all honesty say that you are the greatest gift of my life.

When I think about how much I have learned from you over the years, it moves me to tears. It was you who taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. It was you who taught me about perfection. You showed me that every single thought and idea I previously had about the concept of perfection was completely flawed. It is you who continues to teach me every single day that being yourself is just the best thing ever. You continue to teach me not to sweat the small stuff and that things will eventually come together. You continue to teach me compassion. You inherited your Dad's heart for helping those in need. You continue to teach me that love is ALWAYS enough. You continue to remind me (by your very existence)that I do indeed have a purpose.

Thank you for all of the love and joy you bring into my life. Thank you for being the best big brother ever.I love that you are so protective of your brother. I know he can be so annoying at times but he does admire you so much. This I know. Thanks for making me laugh. I love your dry sense of humor.

I am grateful today for all you have brought into my life. I am grateful for everything your very existence has taught me. And, I am grateful for all that you will continue to bring to my life.

I love you so much more than words can ever express.

I'm sure your Dad is looking down on you today and smiling. Oh how I wish he were here to celebrate with us. He would be so proud of the man you have become. You were his pride and joy and he loved you more than anything.

Superbowl Madness

2012-02-05T20:33:00.002-06:00

Who knew Shih Tzu's were football fans.

Blessed Beyond Words

2012-02-03T19:11:00.005-06:00

What a difference a couple of weeks make. I feel like I've gone from the pits of hell to the pearly gates. There are no words to express how much I love my new job. Working for a faith based organization is incredible. I've never worked for a place that is so centered around prayer. Every meeting is started off in prayer. Part of my leadership orientation is a class on leading a group in prayer. Everyone has been so welcoming. The doctors are a dream come true. They greet me and each other with hugs and kisses every morning. Can you believe that? Me either. Something else I've never experienced, the entire office sitting down together for lunch, doctors included. On my first day, they actually had lunch catered. These doctors are extremely engaged with the staff and as a result, they have a staff of happy, dedicated people. So to say that I'm happy, is an understatement. I think blessed better describes it.

God Don't Like Ugly

2012-01-19T17:38:00.004-06:00

It has been a long and painful month at work. Today was my last day and I am so thankful to have a couple of days off to re-group before starting the new job. I have told myself every single day for the past four weeks that "God don't like ugly" and he will deal with these people in his own way and his own time. I've never experienced such unprofessional and disrespectful behavior. I'm happy that I was able to remain professional and continue to do a good job inspite of the bad behavior surrounding me. I have to be honest though. I've dreamed of sending them a farewell message letting them know exactly how I feel. It might go something like this:

Dear Employer,

As you know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”

For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank my manager: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong person to admit their mistake – takes a stronger person to attribute their mistake to me.

Over the past two years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, “above standards.”

So, in parting, I want to say congratulations to the individual who is taking over my position. You set your sights on a goal and it paid off. Wishing you the same level of disrespect shown to me.

Very truly yours!!

As I said, God don't like ugly so instead of sending a farewell message, I walked out with my head held high knowing that I gave them my very best and thankful that I never have to go back.

Thank you, Jesus, for giving me perspective and strength. Forgive me for my sinful thoughts. You have blessed me with many gifts. May I never underestimate my potential and never lose hope. Let wisdom flow from my mouth, let compassion flow from my heart and acts of kindness flow from my arms. Amen.

Tripp

2012-01-14T21:19:00.004-06:00

Tripp has gone home to be with Jesus.

Please Pray for Tripp

2012-01-13T18:28:00.011-06:00

I am asking everyone to please join me in lifting up Tripp Roth and his precious mother, Courtney in prayer tonight. Sweet little Tripp is two years old and suffers from Epidermolysis Bullosa. This horrible disease causes the skin and internal body linings to blister with the slightest friction causing painful, open wounds. Courtney posted today that Tripp is not expected to live much longer. His condition is extremely critical. Courtney is asking specifically for prayers of peace for Tripp. Not only is he in unimaginable pain, he is also suffering from severe anxiety. She simply wants Tripp to have a peaceful journey into God's arms.

I don't understand God's reasoning in allowing this child to endure such suffering but I know without a shadow of a doubt, that Tripp's suffering will not be in vain. He has captured the heart of so many with his amazing strength and courage. Not only has his story brought awareness to this rare disease but also a lesson in unconditional love and faith.

You can read more about Tripp by clicking on the "Praying 4 Tripp" button on my sidebar.

Father God, I pray that you will wrap your arms around Tripp bringing him peace and comfort during this painful journey. Please strengthen Courtney as she cares for him and comfort her with your great love. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Handel's Messiah

2012-01-09T20:34:00.001-06:00

More Christmas Pics

2011-12-29T19:44:00.001-06:00

Christmas Pics

2011-12-29T19:36:00.002-06:00

Exciting News

2011-12-26T14:48:00.004-06:00

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. We had a very nice Christmas and now I'm looking forward to a wonderful new year in 2012. I've had a very busy couple of months. I started the holiday season by performing Handel's Messiah with the St Charles Symphony Orchestra. It was an amazing experience and I enjoyed myself so much. Much to my surprise, I've been asked to join the symphony full-time starting in January. I cannot tell you how excited I am to have this opportunity.I still can't believe it. But its official, as of January 3, 2012, I am the new oboist for the St Charles Symphony Orchestra. In other exciting news, I will be starting a new job January 23rd. I've been looking for several months and finally the perfect job has come along. For many reasons, my current job has never been a good fit. The last few months have been almost unbearable. But I know without a shadow of a doubt, that God has led me to this new postion and its going to be wonderful. I'm actually going back to the company I worked for just before Phillip's adoption. I will be in a different office but the same company. I will be managing a 3 physician pediatric office located 5 minutes from home. That is huge for me since I've been commuting an hour away. But,it gets better. When I applied for this job it didn't specify which office it was for just that it was a pediatric office. So imagine my surprise when I walked in for the interview and found out it was for Phillip's previous pediatrician who is from Ukraine. She was a huge help to me after Carl died because she could communicate with Phillip when I could not. She only saw Phillip a few times because my insurance changed but she remembered me immediately. She remembered the whole story of Phillip's adoption and how Carl got sick and died a few days later. She even took me back and showed me the exam room where she first saw Phillip. I was impressed because I didn't remember that detail. She was awesome during the interview. She didn't let on to anyone that we knew each other until the end. She said she wanted it to be an impartial interview. Afterwards she walked me out and hugged my neck. I told her that I hoped we could work together and she smiled and said "I hope so too." A few hours later, I got a call asking me to go and meet with the vice president of pediatrics. I went the next day to meet with him and I was so excited after talking with him. Finally, after a long 24 hour wait, I got a call from Dr D herself offering me the position. A little while later, I got a call from the human resource manager that I worked with years ago. She told me that she had wanted to make the offer herself but Dr D insisted on doing it personally. After being brow beaten for so many months at my current job, it was really nice to feel wanted and appreciated. Mary Jo, the human resource manager went on to tell me that she knew I had been wanting to return to Mercy for a long time but the positions I had been applying for wouldn't have been a good fit. She said she had wanted to tell me that for a long time but couldn't because of her postion. Instead she had been keeping her eyes and ears open for me. When this position came open, she said she knew immediately it was perfect for me. So,you see, this job is like going home for me. The money is great, the location is great but most of all the people are great. Dr D and I have a shared interest...a heart for orphans. She was such a blessing to me when I adopted Phillip. My hope is that with this new position she and I can work together to help many other families of adoption.

Exciting News Coming Soon

2011-12-12T16:50:00.001-06:00

Stay tuned!!!

6 Month Anniversary and Parent Teacher Conferences

2011-10-22T19:54:00.003-05:00

Today marks six months since Doug and I started dating. We went out for dinner last night and then picked up his kids for the weekend. Today we took the kids to lunch at Chick fil A and then to Barnes and Noble. I'm really enjoying having girls to hang out with. I took his oldest daughter, Ashley to see "The Addams Family at the Fox Theatre earlier this month which was really fun. She had never been to the Fox so it was nice to be able to share my love of theatre with her. Doug would rather eat broccoli than watch a Broadway Show. LOL
Ashley had a band competition today so I had a chance to spend more one on one time with Nicole. We had fun browsing through the bookstore today and talking about the books we've read. She absolutely adores my dogs so when we got back to my house, she cuddled up on the couch with her new book and the pups. The boys watched tv and played video games. We had an early evening tonight so Doug could get the kids home and cleaned up for church tomorrow. The house is so quiet now. I've got Phillip showered and in bed so CJ and I are enjoying some awesome Cardinal baseball.

Phillip's first parent teacher conference at the new school was a couple of weeks ago. Doug and I were both pleasantly surprised. Both of his teachers had good reports. They say he is a delight in the classroom and is meeting all of his goals set in the IEP. You would certainly never guess it by looking at his desk. My goodness it is a mess. You can't even sit anything on it. Doug asked the teacher why she lets him get away with it looking like that and her response was "I pick my battles." That sounds more like my Phillip...LOL. His teacher says she thinks he is so well behaved in class because he spends all day staring at a cute little girl. According to her, he is the most girl crazy kid in class. In fact, earlier that day, he had been selling gum for kisses on the playground. Doug nearly fell out of his chair laughing when he heard this. I wasn't so amused but I have to give him credit for his creativity.

Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend. Talk with you later.

More Birthday Pics

2011-09-27T08:22:00.002-05:00

Homecoming and a Birthday Party

2011-09-26T20:40:00.003-05:00

We had a great but busy weekend. It was Homemcoming weekend so we went over to see Ashley all dressed up before the dance Friday night. She looked so pretty. While we were there, we picked up Nicole and Daniel for the weekend. We ate dinner out at a mexican place and then then dropped me off at home for the night. Saturday morning was the homecoming parade and then Saturday night Doug's parents had a birthday party to celebrate Daniel's 6th birthday. This was the first time for Phillip to meet Doug's parents and the first time for both of us meeting the extended family. It went remarkably well. His family embraced both of us as one of their own. I was quite shocked that Phillip allowed the family to hug and kiss on him. I'm not sure he liked it, but he didn't say anything. Doug's family doesn't have any experience with adopted children and have never heard of RAD. I tried to explain it but I could tell they didn't get it and that's ok. I'm just glad that Phillip behaved himself and went with the flow. He said that he had a good time and I believe he did. The kids all get along great. Phillip doesn't understand why they only get to visit every other weekend. Anyway, Doug had to work Sunday so I spent the day doing laundry and other chores that needed to get done. We went out for dinner last night and then came home and watched football with the boys. Couldn't have been a better weekend.

So Grateful

2011-09-19T22:56:00.006-05:00

To say that today was a bad day would be an understatement. I came downstairs this morning to find our precious black lab, Chloe dead at the bottom of the stairs. She had died in her sleep. She has been a faithful companion to us for 11 years. She was a birthday gift to CJ for his 11th birthday. The pain he is feeling is heartbreaking. She may have just been a dog but he has already lost so much in his life and he is taking her loss very hard. Phillip on the other hand doesn't seem to be bothered. It shouldn't surprise me but I guess I just keep hoping that there are some feelings of love somewhere hidden in this child.

I am so grateful for Doug today. I know that he loves me but today he really proved it. My dogs have been the subject of many conversations. He doesn't understand the love I have for them. To him, they are just dogs. I have affectionately nicknamed him the Heartless Beast but today he really came through for me. He spent his day off digging a grave for Chloe in the backyard of his property. He offered to come and get her and just take care of it all but I wouldn't let him. I needed to be there to say goodbye. He couldn't have been more sensitive and supportive. We buried her together and my Heartless Beast proved that he was wasn't heartless afterall.

RIP Sweet Chloe

2011-09-19T12:13:00.002-05:00

Chloe Elizabeth
2000-2011

Date Night

2011-09-18T21:12:00.001-05:00

Tonight was date night. We were so excited for an evening out without the kids...or so we thought. We get to the theatre, walk in the door and suddenly we hear "Daddy, Daddy". It's Nicole, she runs up and hugs Doug then comes over and hugs me. There behind her was Daniel, the Ex and the Ex- Mother-in-law. I'm not sure who looked more horrified, Doug or his Ex. It was actually kinda funny. While Nicole is telling me all about her week at camp, poor Doug is stuck listening to the ex-Mother-in-law. After a few minutes, which I'm sure felt like hours to Doug, he said "time for the movie, gotta go." Lucky for us they weren't watching the same movie. Can you say awkward?

A Gift from my Honey

2011-08-29T21:34:00.002-05:00

Going for a stroll

2011-08-27T15:43:00.002-05:00

It's been a busy Saturday around here. I got up early, went to the old house and packed up a truck load of stuff. Came home unloaded truck and decided the pups needed some sunshine. I pulled out the stroller and off we went. It's still pretty hot so we didn't go far but it was nice to get out. I recently found out my Vitamin D is extremely low so I'm trying to get outside and get at least 15 minutes of sun a day. The pups are scattered throughout the house napping right now. You would think they were the ones walking. They are such Diva's. LOL

Life has been pretty boring around here. Work, school and hanging out at home. Doug comes over almost every night and things are continuing to go well. Phillip seems to really like him and loves his kids. A couple of weeks's ago, Doug's son who is five, asked Phillip for a hug when they were getting ready to leave. I nearly fell over when Phillip walked over and hugged him. He doesn't hug anyone accept our big dog, Chloe. Doug doesn't understand what a big deal that moment was but I know. It really melted my heart. I hope I don't jinx myself, but like is so good right now. I haven't been this happy in years.

Picture Day

2011-08-23T18:41:00.001-05:00

Back to School

2011-08-15T17:57:00.002-05:00

It was back to school for Phillip last Monday. I was not excited about how he was going to react to his new school. The two schools were supposed to meet and discuss his IEP which didn't happen. Instead, his file was mailed to the new school and no one is talking. The first week was really bumpy requiring me to send a stern email to the teacher and principal reminding them he has an IEP in place and I expect them to follow it. Luckily, Phillip is handling the transition well. I'm trying to stay positive but I'm concerned about the disorganization I've seen so far. Doug is so irritated that he is threatening to go up to the school for a chat wearing his uniform with gun and badge visible. He's such a tough guy. LOL

Poor Phillip woke up this morning with pink eye so he missed school and went to visit the doctor. She prescribed eye drops and said he could go back to school tomorrow. Unfortunately, getting drops in his eye is proving to be a challenge. He does not like it one little bit. Not fun. So far we've only gotten one drop in. If anyone has any ideas on how to make him open his eye please send them my way.

I hope everyone has a great week. Take care.

The Day I Lost My Best Friend

2011-08-04T19:55:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, August 3rd, would have been my 23rd wedding anniversary. I was on the computer Tuesday night looking at old photos and I came across a paper that CJ had written for his Comp 101 class. Ironically the date on the paper was August 2, 2008...exactly 3 years prior to the date I found it. CJ would be mortified if he knew I was posting this but after reading it, I just had to share it. I'm warning you now, you might want to grab a hanky.

The Day I Lost My Best Friend

The worst day of my life was on December 19, 2005 because that was the day my best friend Carl W. Salley died. His name is the same as mine because he was my father. After that date my friends and family said I have never been the same. I thought of him as my best friend because he was one of those guys that you could just talk to for hours about anything. And when it was a touchy subject he would actually listen to you and do everything in his power to help in anyway possible. I guess it is pretty sad that my best friend was my dad and not someone my age but, it was true.
He was the type of person who didn’t really care what happened to him as long as he helped somebody in the process. He was really active in the Coast Guard Auxiliary in which he went out on his boat every weekend patrolling the Mississippi River from dawn to dusk. He loved helping people even if they did not want to be helped or if they did not realize that the needed help. I remember one time that I went on the boat with him and there was a boat sinking and the people still did not want to get off of there boat. So instead of leaving them there to drown, he tied a rope to there boat and pulled the entire boat to the nearest marina. I can’t even count how many times he dropped whatever he was doing no matter how important just to come help me or support me. I still remember he came to every single one of my band competitions and cheered me on. Not only would he come see me play music we would often go fishing. That is until I started catching more than he did, then he said that he would not take me anymore. We also worked on my car together. He helped my put my first performance part on my car. We would always go to car shows wishing that we could do some thing like that and the one time we finally gather the nerve to tell my mom that we were going to buy a 1968 Mustang she shot us down right there. I was crushed because he knew so much about cars and I wanted him to teach me. Surprisingly he was not upset at all. I think he knew something that I did not. The next day he said that they wanted to have another child and that’s why we could not buy the Mustang. Then when I became of age to join the Coast Guard every person that he trained in the past was starting to train me. They said that my dad would have been so proud of me. Every time I was introduced to someone my friends always said that this is Carl’s son and that I was walking in his footsteps. When I heard that I was honored because he was one of the most respected men in the division that he was in. That was just the beginning of helping people.
Next, in 2004 he set out to help yet another person in extreme need. He and my mom decided to travel to the country of Ukraine and adopt a little girl. Once again not thinking of himself. In Ukraine the new parents are required to look at a photo album of sick children and only a handful of them are healthy. My mom had been looking at websites of children that needed to be adopted and she picked out a little girl and she was going to be named Madison Rose. When they finally traveled in November 2005 my mom learned that Madison had already been adopted and my dad saw a picture of a little boy that looked just like us and then from that moment they were no longer there for a little girl. They were there for my little brother Phillip. Phillip was just about to turn six years old when my parents fell in love with him. He was abandoned when he was just two years old by his biological parents in an abandoned building. When he was discovered it was thought by doctors that he would not survive, but somehow he did and I am very thankful for that. While my parents were in Ukraine for five long weeks my dad became very sick. To the point where they might have had to stay until he got better which would have meant not being home for Christmas. But, being the selfless man that he was he went ahead and pushed my mom to finally come home.
When my parents arrived at the airport with my new little brother I was very excited until I didn’t see my dad. A whole bunch of people were there to welcome them home. And then about 100 yards back was my dad in a wheel chair because he was so weak he could not walk. I ran to him and noticed that he looked very sick. He had lost almost 50 pounds while he was gone. Then my uncle took him straight to the hospital from the airport. I drove my mom and brother home and then meet my dad at the hospital emergency room. We thought that he just got sick from something he ate while they were gone, but it turns out that he had those rapid spreading cancer that doctors have ever seen. There was nothing that we could do to save him. Three days after returning home from Ukraine my father died. The worst part is he never got to walk into our house again. Even in the end he was still just worried about the rest of the family and how they were doing. I could tell that he knew it was going to end like that and he still kept strong for the rest of us. I would have done anything to save him and it just kills me to know that my little brother will have to grow up without him knowing him or having the relationship that I had with him. I never even got to tell him thank you for believing in me when nobody else did. He was my father, but most of all he was the best friend I ever had.

What A Way To Start The Day

2011-07-28T21:53:00.001-05:00

The Many Adventures of Doug & Christy

2011-07-27T21:44:00.006-05:00

Click the title of this post to check out our day at Lone Elk Park and the Wild Bird Santuary.