life among limes

Track 09: The Devil Drives a Honda (Feat. Let Me Explain)

2015-05-04T14:10:00.000-07:00

I hate my car, it is well documented. My '98 Civic LX has put me through more turmoil than I care to admit, it is a heap of trash that must be destroyed.

Last week I was driving home from a film festival in Venice when my tire exploded on Ocean Avenue, in the heart of Santa Monica, amidst hundreds of frightened tourists. If I had any self respect I would drive it off the end of the pier.

This is the fifth time my car has betrayed me on the LA streets:

That time it broke down on Wilshire and I pushed it to The LA Country Club.

That time it broke down in Westwood and the tow truck guy laughed in my face.

That time it was literally just parked on the street and some yahoo sideswiped the whole damn thing...

...although they were kind enough to retrieve the mirror and set it next to the car before they drove off.

That time I popped the tire on Sunset Blvd after a job interview (I didn't get the job).
I don't have a picture for this but I think Harvey conveys what I'm getting at.

And now this...

Hell on wheels

Something had to be done, one last ditch effort to rid myself of this thing responsibly before it kills me.

I decided the right thing to do was to put it on Craigslist, fully disclosing that the car is possessed by spirits of the damned.

Here's the crazy part, it worked.

I kept getting more and more emails until some someone flagged the post and pulled it from the site.

I'm a little nervous to actually meet these people but I feel like I'm too deep now... we'll see what happens.

__________________________________________

Did I tell you guys I'm taking Improv classes? No?

What's that? Maybe I should keep that to myself?

WHY?! Oh because I'm a twenty-seven year old unemployed man who spends his time trolling Craigslist and hanging out with an improv troup instead of finding a job while his wife is hard at work in a hospital?....

Ok so anyways I've been taking classes at The Second City in Hollywood for about, I dunno 6 months or more now and it's been really great.

Second City is where all the improv greats studied:

Chris Farley, John Belushi, Steve Carrell, John Candy, Joan Rivers, Bill Murray, Tina Fey.

The list goes on and on...

Anyways, These classes have got me all jazzed up about producing my own material, so with the help of some buddies, we pulled off a little video. Here it is!

"Woah..."

________________________________

Ok I'm running out of steam here, and I have to run to the bank before Steph wakes up (she worked night shift last night) and see's me sitting at the table eating cereal out of the box at 2pm.

Pray for me guys.

So I'm gonna blast you with some pictures before I go.

It's been a great month.

First Off: Steph and I had a baby!!!

We welcomed sweet little Calvin into our loving arms, although right now we're letting him live with my brother and sister-in-law in Minnesota because it's pretty unpopular to have a baby in LA if you're under 35.

But we FaceTime alot!!

Ok no. Not my son, but he is the cutest little new nephew on the block.

So is my guy Harvey!

...AND big sister Sam!

Steph and I had an awesome trip home because we love our family (but more-so because I had a hell of a tooth-ache and needed Dr. Brother to set me straight.)

I must say this was a pretty profound event. Twenty years ago Ben punched me in the face and broke 2 of my teeth in our basement in Minnetonka when he was showing our neighbor Joey Cook how to fight. Now we've come full circle as Ben drilled the shit out of my molar and fixed a broken tooth.

I was having a particularly great hair day.

After we returned to LA, we double-downed on the family when Steph's bro Ryan came into town.

We showed him the works; Disneyland, Fox Studios, Dodgers Game, the Carnival thing on the Pier.

Unemplooooyyyyyeeed!

Becca was Booed all game for wearing Giants Gear.

I remained impartial.

Ok, BABE

Go WILD, you guys.

Hello Again, Let's Dish, & Attention to Details (specifically the lower back)

2015-04-02T19:04:00.001-07:00

Aloha ladies, gentlemen.

It's been quite some time, hasn't it?

Thought maybe I'd forgotten about you?

Nonsense! You were always on my mind.

It's just that I've been on a hiatus of sorts, a sabbatical you might say.

I know-I know, two years without word or notice, not even a courtesy call or "BRB".

It was not my intention to leave you in the lurch.

I got a job, you see, and I just couldn't give my full attention to this.

I made a choice, it hurt many of you, and I'm sorry.

The SS Opportunity blared her horn, you must realize, and I answered the call.

For Two Glorious Years.

..........

!!!!!RINGGGGGG RIINNNGGGG!!!

***WAKE UP DANNY****

YOU'RE UNEMPLOYED!

INT. SANTA-MONICA BEDROOM. DAY

DANNY CURTIS (Mid-Late 20's, rugged, handsome) wakes up in a foreign bedroom. He is alone except for a CAT, who stares at him for a moment before yawning, displaying his teeth.

DANNY

(to the cat)

What fresh hell is this? Where am I? Who are you?

CAT

...

DANNY

Right.

DANNY looks around the room, he notices a PICTURE FRAME on the dresser, he examines it. It's him.

DANNY

(re: picture)

It's. Me.

He notices OTHER PICTURES in the room, several displaying smiling images of he and a BLONDE WOMAN.

DANNY

(cont.)

That face...

Just then, a NOISE from other room sends the cat off the bed and out of the room. Danny hears a key snapping into place and the front door opening. He races into.

INT. LIVING-ROOM. SAME

The FRONT DOOR swings open revealing a BLONDE WOMAN (Mid 20's, mysterious, beautiful) in hospital scrubs.

BLONDE WOMAN

Hey babe, you're up early. Ughh my shift was insane last night.

Danny recognizes her from the photos. Just then, a name snaps into his mind.

DANNY

Stephanie! You're here.

STEPHANIE

I had a screaming baby all night long, we're never having kids, do we have any cereal?

Danny stares in shock. It's Stephanie, his long-time girlfriend, he turns to head to the kitchen and opens a cabinet in search of cereal. He notices a WEDDING RING on his hand.

DANNY

(to himself)

We're Married?

STEPHANIE

I better get on-call tonight. Or just cancelled, tonight feels like a wine night.

DANNY

I umm, yeah. I hear ya.

STEPHANIE

So do you have anything planned for today? Maybe relax at the beach or read a book?

DANNY

That sounds nice. Yes. I think I'll do both.

STEPHANIE

Yeah, you should, you can worry about resumes and all that stuff next week. Well, I'm gonna change, I've got hospital all over me and I feel super gross.

Just as Stephanie leaves the room, Danny collapses onto the kitchen floor, knocking a BOX OF FRENCH-TOAST CRUNCH off the shelf and scattering it everywhere. A flood of memories surge into Danny's head. He cradles the box.

DANNY

The Job. The Wedding. We moved to Santa Monica! I got laid-off ARGGG!!

Danny twists in agony.

DANNY

(cont.)

...the blog. Sweet Jesus, tell me I updated the blog!

CUT TO BLACK

-----------------------------------------------------------

Pretty intense stuff there.

I'll admit this joblessness hasn't been the easiest transition, but I'm a resilient guy, and with the emotional support of my family and friends (financial, if the Lord so leads), I know I'll bounce back stronger than ever.

It's all about adaptation. Sacrifices must be made, and in times of scaling back, it's the frugal who flourish.

I've actually surprised myself at some of my money saving tactics, in fact, I've got a pitch I'd like to share with you. Thinking about sending it over to Dave Ramsey for a cookbook idea I think we could collaborate on.

I call it the "In-Case-a-dilla" (Working Title) Something you'll want ready, In Case!

You'll need the following:

Flour Tortilla (Today I'm using a fancy organic brand from my "old life" but you may need to scale back to fit your particular budget)
Sliced Ham (I'm a Classic Hickory man myself but Honey Baked can add a sweetness if you're looking for that)
Shredded Cheese (Today I kept it classic with a Mild Cheddar/Monterey Jack Blend, but again, I've had some wild experiences with some south of the border mixes as well ;) )
SRIRACHA brand Hot Chili Sauce: I'm not gonna budge you guys. SRIRACHA is what gives the Incaseadilla* it's signature kick.

Now it's time to work

- Toss two slices of ham onto a tortilla.
-Sprinkle Cheese over the top (don't go too crazy here, we still have to roll this guy)

-With the cheese on the ham, it's time for the microwave.

**NOTE** DO NOT put the Sriracha on before you microwave - Fool me once...

I suggest 1-minute on HIGH (you can eyeball it as well, just make sure the cheese is melted).

- Next comes the Sriracha, dress it up to your liking (I went with a simple pinwheel design here but feel free to let your own inner artist out)

Taste the Savings!

-Roll that bad boy up and enjoy!

----------------------------------------------

Overall, things have been great. Steph and I are loving our new spot in Santa Monica. We're a short walk to the beach, and we've been taking full advantage.

Here I am playing Frisbee with my buddy Grant!

There's Steph - staring off into the ocean.

Here's my buddy T-Roe! He came out from MN for a visit.
I'm actually not to sure how this pic found it's way in here.

One of the big perks of the area is it's proximity to Muscle Beach. A sandy outdoor jungle gym with ropes, parallel bars, rings, weights, monkey bars, you name it!

I like to jog down there from time to time and give the pull-up bar the 'ol heave ho.

Last week during a particularly aggressive sesh, I caught the eye of middle aged woman sitting amongst a team of muscled out beach-bro's holding a large sketchpad. It was a curious sight, she didn't quite match the rest of the scene (not that she didn't have the right to be there, everyone at Muscle Beach is welcome and entitled to their own journey) she just looked like someone's aunt. Or like a Green Bay Packer fan. I dunno YOU figure it out.

Anyhoo, She starts waving at me after I dismount from some dips. I approach her and she spins the sketchpad around.

WARNING: EROTIC

"It's you", she said.

"Yes it is" I said.

Now, I don't know if you guys have seen me recently but this is EXACTLY WHAT I LOOK LIKE.

It's all there, the hair, the smirk, and check out that Tricep!

(I was going to post a comparison pic of myself next to it but Steph won't let me post a shirtless pic - UGH!)

What I was most struck-by was the shading of the shoulders and lower-back. It's not your traditional pose but it's pretty provocative.

"That's a real talent you've got there, I wish I could pay you but I'm afraid I don't have any money on me", I said.

"Don't worry about it, it was my pleasure", she responded.

It was a pretty quick workout. I left after that.

But I appreciate the gesture and it was the confidence boost I needed at the time.

Things are looking up you guys.

It's good to be back,

-Danny

Here's a couple bonus pictures for you guys:

Cute Steph pic here from our Honeymoon in Hawaii

Fun Disney photo here from when "the moms" were in town.

It starts with me urinating on a cat, it ends with Top Gun

2012-10-19T15:49:00.000-07:00

Feel free to discontinue reading.

It was just one of those instances where a cat jumps into a toilet whilst you are relieving yourself.

Let me explain...

The Victim

So. I had just arrived home after a fantastic fly-fishing trip in Alberta (more on that later). I headed to Steph's place to discover that she had "rescued" a kitten.

I'll admit I was a tad suspicious at her humanitarian effort considering all it would take for Steph to bring a cat home was if she saw one unattended or "super-sad looking..".
Both prerequisites were met.
- theft has not been ruled-out.

Apparently Steph was working late at the hospital when she noticed that the automatic sliding doors leading outside kept, automatically-sliding I guess, open and closed.
She raced to the door to see what was the matter.

And lo, a kitten, flea-ridden and "so sad and cute and [not knowing] where he was" was dancing back and forth in front of the doors at the Ronald Reagan Medical Center in Westwood.
Steph was determined that the cat was in danger and "could have been killed!" (mhmm)

So now we have a cat.

I say "we" because after combing the thing for fleas, flea-bathing, and dealing with the shit-box, I feel like a father...
or step-father...
or maybe "mom's boyfriend that comes over to watch t.v. sometimes and drink"- I just need a jean-vest and a Harley.

Anyhoo like I said, the cat had fleas and was thus contained in Steph's small bathroom. So when I entered and needed to well...
I just figured I could do so in peace.

Scene of the crime

I walked into the bathroom to find the cat playing with his new mouse-toy. Smiling at his innocence, I turned to proceed with my business.

*Now I am not traditionally a cat person, I abide by dog rules. Many is the time I've entered and exited a bathroom with a dog sleeping on the floor the whole time.
Cats are different. They are wild and unpredictable, rogues.
I knew something was wrong when I saw the cat dive to my left, hiding behind my leg. I looked down and saw his eyes, wide with shock as he hunched into pounce mode.
Before I could utter "Dooooonnn'tt even think abou..."
He was in the air, over the rim and *SPLASH!* into the toilet.

Curiosity had indeed prevailed, and there was the cat, floundering in the toilet.
It took all the compassion in my Christian-core to fish the little bastard out and toss him bean-bag style into the sink where he lay sopping and devastated.

But I believe mistakes can be life's best classroom.

It was a learning experience for both of us and I think we are better people/cats for having survived it.

A bit traumatized after his post-toilet PalmOlive soap bath.

Apparently we are looking for a new home for the cat.

But before one can be found, he needs to be "nursed back to health", given cat-toys and a scratch-post and more varieties of food than cupboard space allows.

Oh and a name! how about BRUIN ?

Ya 'know because he was found at UCLA?

So if you want a cat and own a storage unit, come and get him. (Please hurry, the bond between woman and cat grows stronger each day)

A Mother and her Cub

So aside from THAT....

Things have been interesting.

For instance.

We were graced by another visit from my mom, who came out to LA to hang for a few days before we hopped in the car and headed south to San Diego to meet up with my dad, who was attending the always-crackin' Oral Surgery Convention.

---Some pictures to illustrate our fun---

Julie dives into a 10 lb. Pumpkin pancake at The Griddle cafe in Hollywood.

Pit stop in Laguna Beach to check out the Sea Lions on our way to San Diego

A lovely stroll on Coronado Island

Things got Batty! at the San Diego Safari Park

Steph in front of the gorgeous Hotel Del Coronado

San Diego is a big-time military town. As we walked up and down the beach, we were entertained by watching Navy SEALS jump out of helicopters into the ocean on some military exercises.

We checked out the USS Midway, a massive aircraft carrier used in Vietnam and Desert Storm. It now

sits in a bay in San Diego as a museum and occasional American Idol audition spot.

The tour itself was pretty awesome, led in large part by Veterans volunteering their time.

The other part of the tour was a "wireless experience" which meant busting out the hand sanitizer in anticipation for the $2 foam DELTA headsets that feel like they have been drizzled in pop-corn butter. Of course the experience is amplified when an overweight and out-of-breath tourist slaps them in your hand after HIS tour.

Mmmm headsets' still warm...

USS MIDWAY

Mom and Steph get ready to take to the skies

Maverick and Goose
(well maybe Ice Man, we all know what happens to Goose)

Up on top of the Aircraft Carrier, it was a bit sunny.

Indeed for many, San Diego brings to mind the ocean, warm weather, sunny skies, and Tom Cruise riding a motorcycle with a "no rules" attitude after a homoerotic bout of beach volleyball in Top Gun (before you complain, rewatch the movie).

So we were Full-Throttle when we happened upon the Kansas City BBQ Restaurant - Home of the famous "bar scene" from the film.
(A claim-to-fame the restaurant made quite certain we would understand)

It was great to see my parents and feel like a kid, they treated Steph and I quite well and I think they enjoyed themselves just as much as we did.

*My dad was so inspired, he's giving his memoir another crack*

Read it

Well that's it for today, but check back soon because I'm gonna let you know about how I got stuck in Montana by myself, the Canadian fishing trip, and Michael Bolton.

Here's a Nate Johnson sneak-peek!

What could Nate be drinking for breakfast at 4am on the fishing trip?
A. Mountain Dew
B. A Slushy
C. Some leftover Molson Beer

And here's a little food-for-thought for everyone still on-the-fence about the upcoming election.

Apparently we're in for a LOOONG four years according to the noisy homeless guy on Hollywood Blvd.

Yep.

So I was walking down the Red Carpet with Tim Tebow when...

2012-08-19T01:41:00.000-07:00

Howdy Stranger,

'Spect you been wonderin just where I been hidin' out these last couple months or so.

No?

Well let me TELL you, things have been active.
Not in a professional sense a'course, just more of a social sense.

On one of my many attempts to write this blog entry, a wasp carrying a grasshopper crash-landed on the table next to me and proceeded to kill and dismember it - So I've been battling some distractions.

Nature's Beauty

Let me ask you this, have you ever been to a party and thought to yourself "What am I doing here?"

---------------Dream Sequence---------------

INT.DOWNTOWNNIGHT-CLUB.EVENING

DANNY CURTIS(24) bellies up to the bar at the 20th ANNUAL ESPY'S Pre-Party in Downtown Los Angeles. He wears a silver button-down shirt and charcoal pants he purchased weeks earlier at Banana Republic - part of the MADMEN collection. Squeezing through a sea of people he reaches out and gains purchase on the edge of the wooden bar. Pulling himself into position, he gives the bartender a two-fingered salute accompanied by a head-nod and raised eye-brow (the sign of a man desperately trying to fit-in and apparently wanting to order a drink). The bartender offers a deflated frown and shuffles down the bar to assist some of the more affluent patrons before returning.

BARTENDER: What can I get you?

DANNY: (Clearing Throat) I'll have a...

At this time, the doors immediately to the right of Danny swing open. SIX MEN blast through the door, washing DANNY down the bar and into several people causing a massive pile-up of humans. New England Patriot's Tight End and 2012 Coverboy for ESPN'S The BODY magazine: ROB GRONKOWSKI climbs down-off his brothers back and observes the carnage he has created upon his entrance. Four other Gronkowski brothers emerge along with their father.

GRONK: Woahhh Nelly!!

GRONK BRO#1: Oohhhh SNAP! What up L. A.!!

GRONK BRO#3: Yo Gimme a Drank!

FATHER GRONK: That's my boy! That's my boy!

The SIX Gronkowski Men - ranging in height from 6'4'' to 6'7'', trample their way to the bar and engage the bartender in charades. GRONK BRO#4 stabs a finger at the bartender - then at each of his family members- capping it off with an impatient grunt. This gesture sends the Bartender into a frenzy of upending various liqours into glassware and placing them in front of the group. Meanwhile DANNY peels himself off the floor and finds himself standing in the middle of the group, just as Rob finishes a toast.

GRONK: ".....that we would show our talents to the WORLD!!"

ALL GRONKS: BLAHH YAH!! (and other guttural sounds)

Meet The Gronks

Glasses clink, backs are slapped, DANNY re-assumes his position at the bar. The Night Continues.

-I should now explain myself. I received a phone call from my good friend Nate Voronyak. Those of you who went to Bethel or know anything about D3 football have either seen him destroy quarterbacks on the football field, as was his mission, or swooned over the chiseled Adonis #NoHomo.
Anyways, Nate tells me that he's 'seeing a gal' (sorry ladies) who works at ESPN and is looking for some help with the celebrity golf tournament when the ESPY'S roll into town. Naturally I oblige- I am a red-blooded American male after all.

The Party was 'crackin', Wall-to-wall athletes and all the finest food and drinks you could want: Free

I was in heaven, and then we ran into someone particularly special:

"MIIIIKE MADAAAAAAAANOOOO!!!"

#1 overall draft pick for the Minnesota North Stars in '88

Holds the NHL All-Time Record for most points and goals scored by U.S. born hockey player

Supporting role in The Mighty Ducks - quack...

We chatted for 20 minutes about his possible return to the NHL. Nate and I demanded that the prodigal-son return to Minnesota, a gesture he appreciated by saying "Oh man! we had some great times up there...Fletchers, Lake Minnetonka, those were the days." (Days later I read on ESPN that he and his agent were in talks with the WILD about a possible return, so YOU'RE WELCOME MINNESOTA).

--------------End Sequence------------

Now let's see.
OK so last post I ended with a rather vivid glimpse into my cousins birthday party - My humble apologies for the lingering image.

This time around I think I'm just gonna blast you guys with some pictures and just sort of brief you on whats been haps lately.

I warn you, this may take awhile....

Let's start chronologically with the first major event since my last post which was that Steph and I returned home to the Midwest...TWICE!

Our first trip back was for Mothers Day - we snuck off to Kansas to surprise Steph's mom and to see the rest of the fam.

Things kicked off at LAX airport. This airport, overcrowded and smelly as it is, does nothing but make you want to leave- anywhere. Two hours in that place and I would jump on a flight to Omaha...or Kansas even (jk you guys, jk).

We arrived early and pounded some pre-flight burgers at Ruby's- just an all around bad idea.

Steph scarfing some diner food before we sit in a metal box for 4 hours.

An Airline is only as good as the free cookies it distributes,
and after eating some of FRONTIERS free warm chocolate chip cookies,
I was a little disappointed with DELTA, who provided us with dog-biscuits
.... personalized dog-biscuits.

Our layover in Tennessee didn't disappoint, with a
noon performance by Elvis in an otherwise empty airport bar.


Back home in Kansas, Steph pulled out the 'ol violin and treated us to a performance of "Fuzzy Furballs" - A song she wrote in elementary school -I'll burn you a CD, it's good

What's a get-together with the Schott's without a little wine tasting? We headed downtown to sip some seasonals - This place had a pretty incredible Beer selection as well, Mmmmmm

After Kansas, we headed back to LA to await the arrival of Eric's Atherton and Rhode (regular cast members on the Life Among Limes Blog)

It went like this...

Atherton...

...Plus Rhode...

....and a dash of Duluth's own Trampled By Turtles.

We spent the rest of their trip hanging out at the D-3 Track Nationals as well as getting cited in Huntington for having alcohol on the beach.

- This was not our fault. The guy at TARGET told us as long as we didn't have glass bottles we would be fine. That asshole cost us each $25 and our pride as we had to up-end every bottle into the trash can in front of hundreds of beach goers as the beach cop watched us from his four-wheeler.

Soon after the Erics took off, it was time to return to the Midwest to hang out with the family as well as attend yet another wedding (kids falling like domino's these days).

We took the 'ol red eye to Milwaukee and kicked the trip off in style at the local Merton watering hole 'On the Rocks'.

Soon after our arrival, we celebrated STEPH'S 24 BIRTHDAY! So crazy to think that it had already been a year since we were sitting at an Italian restaurant in Hollywood talking about what the next year would look like. Time has flown by.

We kicked off the party in Madison - a good place for any party - and walked over to the local watering hole where the bartenders took care of Steph all night, even concocting her very own "BMTIC" - strong.

Steph cuddles up with Cousin Kelly's pooch "Zoe" in Madison

The walk home

We threw a follow-up Bday bash at Psycho Suzies when we returned to MN.

Steph and I stayed with the Barr family and this curious little guy "Banjo"

Hanging with niece Sam

Precious

My main man Dusty got married to his gal Casey. We returned to the world's greatest bar Frigaards (for more on Frigaards, please refer to an earlier post where we met Skeeter.)

Unfortunately Skeeter was absent, but we did get to meet 'Drunk Bob' - another regular patron who posted up at the end of the bar. Best advice is to leave Bob alone if you want to avoid getting choke slammed against the wall - so we were told.

Bye Dusty

Steph and Molly; two classy Midwest gals getting things rolling on the Party Bus after the wedding.

They Kissed....

We Danced....

After a week or so in Minnesota, we headed back to Wisconsin to celebrate my cousin Kory's High School Graduation and relax once more with the family before heading back to LA.

Reclining at the Lake at my parents house.

Celebrating the Grad Party at Grandma Reynold's scary-ass cottage in Madison

----------Back in LA----------

Things started off with a bang as soon as we returned to Los Angeles when Nate and Carol arrived in preparation for the ESPY'S.

My job was to assist with the Celebrity Golf Tournament taking place a couple days before the Awards. The toughest part of that experience was coaxing Coach Lou Holtz onto the bus after his 7:00am corn-cob-pipe smoking session.

Not on the list?? Don't even ****** think about getting on this bus.

The fun and games didn't end all week. I got the opportunity to hang out on the set of SportsNation and hang out with some football greats.

Greg Jennings was just about the nicest guy I've ever met... and yet he is a Packer, forgiveness is a beautiful thing.

Nate and I auditioning for our future careers as broadcasters on SportsNation.

Power Couple: Carol and Nate

Of course the fun didn't stop there, the next evening was the Pre Awards Party (whereupon I met the Gronk family circus), but the REAL excitement was the ESPY'S themselves where Stephanie and I were lucky enough to get full VIP treatment including a walk down the Red Carpet with all the athletes.

Nate and Carol looking super fly before the Red Carpet walk.

"Oooo....

...Lala"

It's a pretty sweet feeling to walk through a hectic crowd of people and pull out the "Red Carpet VIP Pass" to hand to the security guard. The guards step aside and welcome you into a private walk way - far from the common folk and you are guided to a tent where you are treated with the utmost cordiality. Steph and I game-planned that we were just gonna play-it-cool and work the carpet as if it was just another Wednesday night. We walked out onto the carpet and into a sea of paparazzi and screaming fans hoping for just a glimpse of Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees, or a small wave from Tim Tebow or Jeremy Lin. It was pretty surreal.

Steph was looking crazy-foxy on the Red Carpet in this little number by blah-blah-blah

If anyone asked, I said I was on the Olympic Curling Team.

Carol was harassed by the LA Kings mascot- he was swiftly banished to the tent.

Drew Brees and Tim Tebow go in for a "bro-grab"

Tim Tebow was the biggest deal on the Red Carpet.

Rob Gronkowski (left) chatting it up with some ESPN Personalities like Chris Berman (right)

The Show itself was pretty cool, Nas performed so I felt like I was back in junior high.

View from our seats

Add caption

Standard post-show glitter rain

Of course there HAD to be a post EPSY party to attend.

On our way to the partay!

The party was bumpin' thanks to DJ Biz Markie (Yes Biz Markie the bull-dog looking DJ who played an alien in Men In Black)

"Ohh girl, you got what I neeeeeed, but you say I'm just a friend...."

Steph attempts to contain herself in front of the dessert table.

And of course, "If you give a Steph a cookie, she's going to want a drink to go with it..."

"...and if you give her a couple glasses of wine, some vodka and a sip of beer..."

Steph had a great time.

The whole ESPY experience was awesome, and not just because of all the glitz and glam. I think my favorite part of the whole experience was meeting the crew at ESPN. These people were some of the coolest and most genuine production people I have ever met, unlike the Reality TV crews I've worked with who punch in day to day for the paycheck and look for the nearest back to stick a knife in or for a one-way ticket out of there.

-------------And Finally------------

The most recent highlight of the past couple months was a camping trip to Northern California with Steph's wonderful parents, Kim and Randy Schott.

These two lived in San Francisco once upon a time and know absolutely everything about the area.

We traveled up to Carmel and spent a couple days exploring the town, eating at various cafe's and visiting wineries.

Dinner in Carmel

Wine Tasting

At the Winery

Our Carmel Bed & Breakfast

The houses in Carmel are all incredibly unique and artistic. Clint Eastwood was the Mayor here in the 80's.

The Beach at Carmel - walk down to the right and head over to Pebble Beach, one of the top golf courses in the world.

Walking on the sand beneath Pebble Beach Golf Course

No better way to cap off a busy day than by throwing in a VHS of The Sixth Sense on a TV smaller than my computer . Oh the joys of rewinding.

We explored an old Mission at Carmel dating back to before America was a country.

We ate at the Top Rated Restaurant in Carmel (which also happens to be one of the cheapest) The Demtra Cafe - This Restaurant had the most energetic and fun atmosphere, we had to book a table a day in advance but reaped the benefits the next night. The owners sang and danced, grabbing every pretty girl out of their seats to dance with them, Steph was doomed from the moment she stepped in there.

The best Lamb I've ever had.

After a couple days in Carmel, we went up to Monterey and checked out "Cannery Row" as well as the huge Aquarium.

Jellyfish at the Aquarium

The last part of our trip was spent camping in beautiful Big Sur, a land of huge coastal cliffs, sea lions, dense forests, and some pretty incredible views.

Super collage!

-------------Final Thoughts-----------

In other news.

Emily "Emu" Kalscheur from good old Waunakee Wisconsin made the move out to Los Angeles. We have been having an awesome time hanging out with Emu. We just recently went to go see The Terminator at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

Steph and Emu

Sort of ran out of steam on this update - I guess that's what happens when you wait two months before you post. Whatevs. Hopefully next one will come a little sooner - I'm not gonna promise anything, but I'm optimistic. Especially because my roommates and I just moved to the dreaded "Valley" - that scorched crispy desert on the other side of the hill. I already have plenty to say about that. It sorta sucks, but hey it's cheap.

Okay Yikes! DONE!

2012-05-08T03:00:00.001-07:00

A Forward from the Author:

Well gentle souls, I suppose it's that time.

Time for another installment of what is sure to delight the masses. The story of a wonderful life in California. A story filled with adventure and intrigue, highs and lows, and about how a '98 Honda Civic could reduce a man to tears (In Today's episode: The BRAKE light joins the CHECK ENGINE light on the dashboard - starting to look like a G.D. Christmas tree in there)

True

The truth is I've started this post 4 or 5 times and simply lost the thread of what to talk about. The past couple months have seemed to be a collection of repeated weeks, skipping back to their intro every Monday, moving towards a crescendo for Wednesday evening acting classes, and then back down to earth before a weekend encore of bartending at a Beverly Hills Indian Restaurant (at least the tempo picks up, and the 'Jai Ho' dance is encouraged).

Things are beginning to stale I suppose, and that always makes me antsy. Every time I enter a new situation, I come in guns blazing, a few weeks roll past, I learn the ins and outs, and then think "Ok, time to move on."

Perhaps the luxurious life of a bartender has been wearing me thin. I've been working 6 or 7 days a week at 3 different places, and in the end, can't figure out why I'm trying so hard, waiting for some kind of pay-out.

LA is a city brimming with opportunists, people shaking hands and handing out cards, climbing and crawling their way over people in an effort to build their careers. It's a system of praising, wooing, and courting people in the hopes that they could 'put in a good word' or make an introduction or pass on a resume. I can see this evidenced in myself as I strain, nod, and smile with CEO's of companies at the Country Club. I've had just about enough backslapping and laughing at the jokes these guys read off of the internet (A lot of the time they print the jokes out and refer to them for accuracy). I've had to ask myself, 'What do I think I'm going to accomplish with all this ass-kissing?'

"y'know what Danny, we could use a guy like you at the firm, send us your resume..."

To which they would undoubtedly marvel at my body-of-work:

"Says here you used to clean-up crime scenes"

"That's right sir, for a medical waste disposal company, I think the experience taught me how to deal with 'messy situations' haha - oh, and the importance of bleach."

"Indeed, and you also have experience at... umm, what-the-hell is a 'corn-stand'?"

"It's basically just a tent in a parking lot where I sold produce for a local farm"

"I see, and did you learn any skills there?"

"Well sir, I could help you pick out a good cantaloupe haha (cough) but more importantly the experience taught me that I have a very finite tolerance for senior citizens."

...

I've realized that too often lately, I walk around (like many in Hollywood) with my best smile and Banana Republic Polo in the "lightning surely strikes" hope that somebody will swerve their Maserati to the curb, hop out and say "My God! You're the one!"

I mean this is the place where that happens right?

...and yes I bought a Mega Millions, don't act like you didn't.

Looking back on this month however, I can see that I HAVE been making strides (albeit small ones) in the direction of the film industry once again, but from a slightly different angle.

The PA thing sucked and was getting me nowhere fast, unless of course I wanted to continue in the Reality TV field, one of the saddest and least fulfilling areas of media. Bottom of the totem pole next to those public access square-dancing programs with the old people, which I admit I get sucked into sometimes.

So..

For the past two months I have been enrolled in an acting class called the Imagined Life.

The class implements techniques that I've never tried before, but make the most sense to me. If you've heard of Method acting, you might understand the aim of these classes, where instead of "acting" you BECOME the character, the circumstances, and make them apart of you. Instead of memorizing lines, we spend our time 'creating the world and circumstances' in which we live.

Some notable actors who employ this technique include Jim Carrey, Heath Ledger, Robert De Nero, Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Christian Bale, Joaquin Phoenix, Sasha Baron Cohen and Daniel Day Lewis. These Actors (Especially Day-Lewis) spend months and sometimes years preparing for roles, adopting habits and eating styles and accents that their characters would find natural, eventually convincing themselves that they are the character.

Sounds Extreme. Yes it can be, but try to take your eyes off those actors on the screen.

(Daniel Day Lewis boxed and trained for THREE YEARS for his role in The Boxer. By the time he was ready to shoot the film, his trainers said that he could've contended to be the Middle-Weight Champion of the World.)

Now, I'm a million miles away from those pros (whom I have swiftly gained respect for), but the opportunity to take the class presented itself and I signed up, and it's crazy how much fun it is.

Am I still writing the Forward? Crypes

I guess I just wanted to say that this month..or two months, whatever, have seemed a bit slow. Not too much worth reporting execpt eccept accept except* (took me like 19 times to spell that right)... EXCEPT that I have gotten to see some great friends over the past couple months.

End of Forward.

- Danny

Calamari Cocktail

There that's better.

So Yes I'm giving the acting thing a shot, (hopefully more of an effort than what landed me in the courtroom on Judge Ross - which I still have yet to find on the internet)

I've had to get my headshots in order and this is the part of the job that absolutely KILLS ME.

Printing resumes, cutting them down, stapling them to the back of my headshot, putting them in the manila envelopes and sending them off - 20 or 30 at a time.

I got some initial headshots, like the day I moved to California, but they turned out a tad too Muslim for my liking.

Like I'm Selling Toothpaste in Iran.

I felt like all this picture was missing was a gold chain necklace resting in a healthy bed of chest-hair, then I could pull off a Saudi David Hasselhoff - feel free to photoshop. (More on 'the Hoff' later in this blog). Although I can't knock this picture entirely, I got the Judge Ross gig from this look, but I felt it was lagging so my dear cousin Jeanne offered to help me out with some new ones.


Awesome Right? Like super cool with the plain green tee, just a guy who knows how to relax, grew up on the wrong side of the tracks but has a heart of gold? It's all there.

So headshots are pretty dumb. I could never model. It took all day to get a shot of me looking 'slightly-interested' that casting directors fawn over.

Last week I sent out 24 of these bad boys to different agencies and have yet to hear back from anyone.

So.... We shall see.

___________________________________________

The theme of the past couple months has been Friends come to Cali! And starting things off was a visit from Eric Rhode.

Rhode was down in the Huntington area "on business" for his work at Carlson, and came up to hang for the weekend.

Darts at Molly Malones - feels like home

Rhode is the friend in the group that I keep in the rolodex because he is going to be a successful CEO someday and will be my ace-in-hole if I find myself selling bootleg DVD's on Hollywood blvd in 5 years and need someone to get me a job in a mail-room. He'd do that for me. He's a pretty good guy.

And BECAUSE he is such a Baller at the office, his company treated him (and by proxy ME) to a Lakers vs. T-wolves showdown at the Staples Center. Sooooo sick.

*I have JUST discovered that I can make money off of this blog by including ads relating to the content, so I will henceforth be riddling my blog posts with advertisements.

So far that leaves me with Honda Civics and Timberwolves merch.

I will choose the lesser of two evils by starting with this charming Timberwolves Glass Pitcher available for a STEAL at $29.95 at KOHLS.com - go there immediately and purchase one.

Now back to the show.

Derrick Williams goes up for a 3 during warmups. He may have missed. But the seats were great.

This was the only picture I got of the two of us, but this pretty much sums up the experience.

We spent the game cheering obnoxiously as annoyed Lakers fans asked us to settle down. This was highlighted by screaming "guilty!" every time Kobe touched the ball.

Rhode was blessed with a voice that would make Ball Park Beer-Men everywhere nod in approval. It was this voice that caused so much alarm among Lakers fans, as well as what drew some nods and waves from some T-Wolves players.

We ended up losing, but c'mon it was a good effort, and then we saw David Hasselhoff a few rows ahead of us and yelled for him to take a picture with us, he played it really cool and just walked away but his girlfriend was laughing.
Our faculties betraying us, we decided to follow 'The Hoff" onto the court after the game - turns out you can't do that - we were "asked/strong-armed" to leave "like right now"

(HEY MAN! I'VE GOT A BEVERAGE HERE! - what movie?)

Rhode is always a good man to be around, I look forward to his return to LA shortly, along with Eric Atherton - should be a scream.

_____________________________________

I've been bartending at this Indian Restaurant in Beverly Hills called Tanzore. It's a real 'Shot-of-Espresso' compared to the country club where instead of serving Gimlets in chilled glasses for seniors I'm pouring AMF's (Adios M*****F****) in plastic cups for college kids. But HEY they tip!

I've been working there on weekends whenever they need an extra guy for parties or banquets or whatever. I've done college parties, Indian parties, Indian Weddings, and even a Deaf-convention where I busted out some Highschool ASL (which I butchered but was commended for my effort).


I think this is the Deaf Convention, or maybe an Indian Party, either way they usually try to involve a JAI-HO or belly dance of some kind.

*So this was the closest thing I could find for Keyword: INDIAN CUISINE

However, I feel like it fits the circumstances.

Now you can have something to drink out of when you're at work and can't access your kick-ass T-Wolves pitcher.

Available at KOHLS.com for the "Pinch ME!" price of $35.95

____________________________________________________

One of the first events that happened when Steph and I moved to LA was an Oscar party hosted by her landlord Melanie. That was over a year ago, and since then I have had the pleasure of getting to know Melanie. I am happy to report that she is one of the most interesting and original people I have ever met. You see, Melanie's parents were in the film industry. Well that's putting it mildly. Her parents dominated the film industry, at a time when it was truly the golden era of cinema. Her mother was a famous actress named Anita Louise (She was the mother on My Friend Flicka and was in over 60 films including The Little Princess with Shirley Temple). Melanie's Father was Buddy Adler, a film producer who was the Head of 20th Century Fox and won an Academy Award for Best Picture for his Film From Here To Eternity. He was also the recipient of the Cecille B. Demille award - a lifetime achievement award shared by a small class of people including Walt Disney, Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, Steven Speilberg, and Alfred Hitchcock.
Upon meeting Melanie, you would never in a million years suspect that she grew up steeped in such glamour and stardom. She had no interest in the film industry, growing up behind the scenes, knowing there was no wizard before anyone got to OZ. She is a very humble and interested person, constantly asking questions and seeking knowledge. She has a love for people and projects and is one of the most unaffected & authentic people I have met out here.
The Oscars in LA is like the Superbowl, bets are place, ballots are filled, and Melanie cooked for the eleven or twelve guests who attended the party - many of them friends of Melanie's when she was young.

How often do you go to an Oscar party with an actual Oscar?
This thing was heavy.

Melanie and Stephanie shared the victory and split the pot.
Steph's record is now a perfect 2-0 after her victory last year.

Melanie's secret recipe: Cats

Yum

* If only Melanie had the Smartcat Cat Climber from Pioneer Pet, they wouldn't have to sit in boiling pots.

Yeah I'm gonna get REAL annoying with this ad nonsense.

Available at Kohls.

___________________________________________

VEGAS

If you head to YELP and look for reviews on the Las Vegas hotel THE IMPERIAL PALACE, you may find the following reviews:

"Amazing this place hasn't been condemned..." Robert K.

"Scary" - Lauren G.

"Shittiest Hotel on the Strip..." - Carla N.

"I don't know why people hate this place. It's WAAY better than Excalibur..." Harold T.

We booked a room for two nights, with Harold's assurance in mind.

All I can say is that I won't ever stay at the Excalibur, but the IMPERIAL PALACE sort of grew on me after awhile. Like physically grew on me - It's like a petri dish.

OK all kidding aside it wasn't so bad. Sure the elevators didn't work, the floors were stained, and the second floor provided a second-hand-high from all the marijuana billowing from the rooms. Oh - and the fire alarm went off 10 minutes after we checked in, but YOU try finding a better deal on a hotel in the middle of the strip on a weekend. PLUS, we had the company of Dusty and Casey Wahl (Tying the Knot - June 2012).

All in all, I wouldn't trade the hotel experience for anywhere else. We were smack dab in the middle of the strip, it was cheap, and we even buddied up with some Marines at the pool (they actually bought us our very own 72oz AMF. OOHRAH!)

Where would the night take us?

We sort of followed the fold on this one, other people were
taking pictures in the shoe, so why not?

Dusty and I lost the gals in Tiffany's for a brief time....

"What happens here, stays here"
Unless you stayed at the Imperial Palace
in which case 'what happen[ed] [there]' might spread
if not properly medicated.

We had such a good time in Vegas, we didn't want the party to end, so Steph and I decided to extend our vacation and travel back to Arizona to the home of Dusty's mom Char and Dad-Dale. But FIRST we decided to make a little pit stop and check out the HOOVER DAM.

HOOVER

____________________________________________

Aside from working at the LA Country Club, I recently received a call from the Riviera Country Club to help out for an "event" they were having.
I get excited for opportunities at the Riviera because it's where all the "industry-types" like to go.
I showed up not knowing what to expect and began setting up my bar in the middle of their "Crystal Ball Room" when all of the sudden I saw a flurry of Gold and Purple Glittering Girls race past the bar, they were of course, the LAKER GIRLS - thought they looked familiar from the basketball game.
I soon realized that I was bartending for the Lakers Youth Foundation, where the players raise money for under privileged youth. Sure enough, in came the Lakers, Pau Gasol, Matt Barnes, Steve Blake, World Peace, and yes, Kobe Bryant.

Yes, the two recent championship trophies. I jumped behind the table and
snagged a picture before the event when the security guy went to the bathroom.

All that was great, but the real excitement was when I heard someone say "could I have a Macallan on the Rocks?". I looked up and saw this guy....

C'mon guys, his name is Dennis Haysbert, not "That black president from 24"

Yep! The ALLSTATE "You're in Good Hands" guy. One classy individual.

___________________________________________

This is a view from Bel Air Presbyterian Church, where Steph and I
have attended a few times recently, its awesome.

El Matador Beach

We received an awesome Easter basket from my mom,
Thanks for the Tobasco chocolate - I don't know where
you find this stuff but it was incredible.

*Apparently KOHLS does not carry Tobasco chocolate or you'd have found a link.

RIGHT HERE

You win this time.

Another notable happening was a visit from Steph's long-time BFF Katie and her boyfriend Kevin back in March. We had a great time going to Universal Studios, heading to the Arclight Theater for a movie, and playing a mix-and-name-your-own-drink game where we ended up sipping on "Snakes Venom"and "Bud Light-Year" and taking shot's of "Albert's Pool-House". Great Times.

___________________________________________

About the Most Exciting thing that's happened recently was my Cousin Cheryl's 50th Birthday bash.

Cousin Jeanne and Cheryl

But even THAT got a little weird...

Yep

So with that, I leave you.

Looking forward, I am anxious for the arrival of Eric's Atherton and Rhode (again) later this month.

Then Steph and I will be back Home to the Good 'ol Midwest in June for two weeks. Can't wait.

Hopefully next time I can write about some new and exciting job somewhere, or an acting gig, or a new car?

Stay tuned for stories about the time Steph and I hung out on the set of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, and that time we ran into the Kardashians.

That's AllStates Stand,

Are you in Good Hands?

The Circus, some Golf, and a Modern Bar Mitzvah, It's been a Year Already!

2012-02-27T00:15:00.000-08:00

It all happened one year ago.

I was sitting in an ice rink in Blaine, watching my sister's hockey game when I received a phone call from Stephanie telling me that she had been invited out to California for an interview at the UCLA hospital.

Days later, we were on a plane.

She had two interviews in two departments and walked away with two job offers before dinner.

Steph snags the job in her "Power Suit"

We were moving to California.

We flew back to the Midwest, loaded up a car and drove back across the country, arriving in LA on February 14th, 2011, Valentines Day.

Hitting the Road

Stopping to view one of Western Kansas' prized attractions

Home Sweet Home

It would be easy to say "and how the year has just flown by", but that would be a lie.

This year has been the most difficult, long, stressful, exciting, rewarding, and reflective year of my life.

*Unlike 2010 which was a rush to finish college followed by the horrible realization that I had no idea what I was doing with my life.

**I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life but few people do in LA, it's a city of black sheep.

____________________________________________

Well I certainly have been lazy in writing my blog, I know it, you know it, get over it.

I said that one of my New Year's resolutions would be blogging more, so naturally I abandoned that goal shortly after its conception, as is customary with resolutions.

Now sit back, relax, and let me tell you about this Bar Mitzvah.

I'm gonna vague-up the details but I got a call to help out with a photo shoot for this kid's Bar Mitzvah.

"sure thing"

So I show up downtown to this big 'ol church that they "Turned into a Synagogue" - they threw a big black sack over the cross at the top of the church - a tad sacrilegious but hey.

So everyone takes their seats and quiets down and I'm snapping away at the back of this courtyard when I notice a group of girls point to someone behind me, giggling wildly.

I turn around and who is standing there all alone? Modern Family's own Phil Dunphy (Ty Burrell).

He comes skulking in, trying not to upset the service, and takes a seat in an empty row at the back of the courtyard, sitting all by himself until someone he recognizes flags him over and he sprints to a new seat.

Hilarious.

Christopher Lloyd (Exec. Producer) and Ty Burrell (Phil)

But you can't just invite Phil to these types of things. Claire was there too.

Julie Bowen

Of course I took an opportunity for a photo-bomb...

*I did not intend to look this frightening, however it was
an open bar and this was captured later in the evening.

That right there was an awesome night, but then someone particularly incredible surfaced, however I had no idea who this was until I saw the pictures later.

Yep, I partied with LUKE SKYWALKER and didn't even know it!

Although I must say though, I'm fairly certain Luke is flirting with the Dark Side.

I'm calling it a slow takeover, as the prophecy has foretold

...and a bit more?

Looking a little less...

You Be the Judge

___________________________________

I'm continually amazed with the plant life in LA, it's like living on Kong Island or whatever.

A few weeks ago, after visiting our local US Bank, our little Russian Banker "Fay" asked Steph and I if we had ever walked around in the cemetary behind the bank.

"There's a cemetery back there?"

"You'll love it!

In true LA fashion, there was this small cemetery surrounded on all sides by buildings, with some notable "entries"...

The vacant mausoleum crypt to the left of Marilyn's is reserved for Hugh Hefner

Other residents include Natalie Wood, Frank Zappa, Truman Capote, and Dean Martin.

_________________________________________

As we spend more and more time in the city, Steph and I have continued in our attempts to experience all we can.

So naturally when my Swedish Barista/Professional Dancer buddy Robin asked if we wanted to go clubbing at on of LA's most "raging" clubs, CLUB COLONY, we didn't hesitate.

THE place 2 B!

Soooooo many great vibes....

Because what is better than free entry into a ridiculously packed room of deafening bass filled with oversexed teenagers and "Yeah-Yeah" from the Sandlot, oh and the beer's are only $14 so don't fret.

Wait...Yeah-Yeah?

Yeah

*I met Yeah-Yeah near the men's bathroom surrounded by a gaggle of young Asian girls who he was desperately trying to convince of his authenticity by showing them his IMDB credits on his phone.

Yeah-Yeah: You've seen the Sandlot right?!?!

Girl 3: Umm yeah?

Yeah-Yeah: I'm Yeah-Yeah!

Girl 1: Oh I loved that kid! 'Yeah-Yeah Benny Man' right!?

Yeah-Yeah: Yes! that's me!

Girl 2: What?? Oh My Gosh! You look so...different!

I would now like to point out that "Yeah-Yeah" had a better chance of convincing these girls that he was Pauly D from Jersey Shore with his fade-cut, fake tan, and gold chain, it's also clear that he is a class-A D-bag.

And still, despite irrefutable evidence that the man before them was in fact the once child-star known as "Yeah-Yeah", the girls made their departure as the rest of the gaggle emerged from the ladies room.

Yeah-Yeah: God! What's with these girls?! I'm F*****g YEAH-YEAH!

Me: So do you know how I could get in touch with Wendy Peffercorn?

The evening ended around 2am and was capped off with a fabulous drunken brawl in the parking lot between two UFC enthusiasts:

Team Affliction Tee-Shirt Guy Vs. Team Ed Hardy Bedazzled Hat Guy

It was a great night, until Stephanie sustained a finger-in-the-car-door injury that could only be ameliorated with a Chocolate Malt from Mel's Diner

* +5 pts. for using ameliorate in a sentence

** I just downloaded the Vocabology App which teaches me new words everyday, absolutely pulchritudinous!

Stephanie, lacerated and crestfallen

_________________________________________

Lemme throw some pictures at you so we can get through this thing.

I write this blog by dumping all my iphone pictures onto the computer and then going from there, but some of these I have no memory of, I digress.

Nice little picture of Stephanie on North Rodeo Drive?
I dunno, nice Palm Trees though.

This one's of Santa Monica I believe.

Santa Monica Pier, notice the tent in the distance, I will come back to that.

Stephanie finally got a bed after living on a futon for the past year...

...she and landlord Melanie select a winner while mattress shopping

If you come out to visit, Steph and I will take you out to one of our favorite restaurants, Sushi Hiroba.

It's Awesome, we even recently celebrated my roomate's 26th birthday there so...

Yeah good time....

K moving on.

Can't get enough of The Gay 90's or The Eagle in Minneapolis?

Then you'll feel right at home in West Hollywood. I crack up every time I drive down Santa Monica Boulevard, the marketing is genius...

I'm There!

Not sure what's going on, we are on a hike and
Steph is promoting her phone or something.

A particularly long day at work called for an emergency Ralph's run.
This is what we ended up with
warranting a fist-bump from the stoner cashier.
"Thats a nice pie right there man"

Yes, that is a shopping cart on an elevator
Welcome to Los Angeles and our double decker Targets.

This is where Steph lives.
____________________________________________

So I've been working at the LA Country Club these past few months, mixing drinks with a smile in my attempt to make some connections with some of Hollywood's finest.

But then I discovered that "Hollywood Types" (Actors, Directors, Writers, Producers) are FORBIDDEN at the club, no joke.

So when I heard that there was a job fair over at Riviera CC to work the Northern Trust Open, I signed up.

The Riviera Clubhouse, big and marble.

I worked in a private tent at the tournament, right above the 18th green.

Bubba Watson in the Gray Shirt on his practice round

Things got exciting when Mickelson, Haas, and Bradley tied things up at the 18th.

I say exciting but it's golf so I guess I'll say, things were somewhat preoccupying.

Lot's of classy White People throwin' out high-fives and fist-bumps though, which was nice to see.

Oh Bill Haas won By the way... Yeah I have no idea...

_________________________________________

Valentines day??

NOPE!

More like a 4-Year-Anniversary Dinner at Pizzicotto

(Super cool Italian Place)

This was Valentines day, home cooked by Steph, flowers provided by yours truly.

______________________________________________

Remember that tent picture in Santa Monica?

I told you to remember it...

It's actually Cirque du Soleil's "OVO" show.

This Cirque Show was "Bug" themed, and featured everything from trapeze artists to yo-yo acrobats to girls who flipped other girls with their feet. It's awkward to explain but look it up, it's awesome.

This was the second Cirque show I have been to.

The first one was the "O" show in Vegas, it was water themed and also very cool.

I'm hoping to catch the "IRIS" show going on at the Kodak Theater.

*Anyone who watched the Oscars would have caught a glimpse of this show.

I think everyone walks away from those shows having the same conversations.

"If only I was as good at __some activity __ as they are at __their job__."

_____________________________________________

We also took a trip back to Universal Studios and went on the backlot tour.

It was cool to see how this studio compared to Paramount.

Universal is huge, and the tour was great, a lot of great sets from so many amazing films.

The ride included a pass through Kong Island, in 3D!, impressive

This was a 747 that was ripped in half and scattered all over for Spielberg's War of The Worlds

We got some lunch in the Paris district

Cafe Cabana: Steph's house

__________________________________________

So that's it for now but... What's that?

How's my car?

It's fine other than I walked outside and found this the other day.

whoops!

Some wonderful citizen sideswiped Judas, marring any amount of respect a white Honda Civic can muster.

The result is a vehicle that I wouldn't feel comfortable delivering pizza's in.

I thought Yellow tape would really sell the "I am a dangerous individual without insurance" look.

Am I surprised? HA! Have you met my car? That POS will mock me to my grave...

And just when we were getting on good terms after it broke-down and got me a job.

Nice little view from the Country Club

I think I took this from my bathroom window, hmm, it IS a nice view though.

Honestly I can't think of too much more, tonight was the Oscar's and that was fun, I've got some good pictures.

Oh and I've started taking these acting classes from this lady who is supposed to be the "real deal".

The first class was awesome, I'll keep you informed.

Scientology Christmas, Country Clubbin, and watching LA Burn

2012-01-06T15:01:00.000-08:00

"See you next year, you selfish Brats!"

Happy New Year, One and All!!

2012 Already, man, time is flying.

Time for those ancient Mayan's to put-up or shut-up about the whole "Earth destroying asteroid" or "cataclysmic earthquake" or whatever.

January is here! Thank God because the whole LA Christmas scene was starting to get a little silly, what with the fake snow and winter jackets and the Christmas Arsonist who has been lighting fires all over town for the past few weeks.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

In fact, the best Christmas display I saw was the one put on by the Church of Scientology.
I was pissed at first thinking,
"What the Heck! Who do they think they are with their Christmas Trees and Carolers and Santa Claus and Tom Cruise..."
Anything Missing?
"Oh right, there's no Nativity Scene"

It took me awhile to realize that.
This display was actually what got me into the Christmas Spirit the most because it put on display all the things that distract from what Christmas is really about.

Thanks Scientology!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Well I'm happy to report that I have been working hard at the Country Club mixing Negroni's, Hot Toddy's, Brandy Alexander's, and Cadillac Margarita's (the secret's in the Agave Syrup).

For the first couple weeks on the job, I adopted the "Fake it till you Make it" mentality, pretending to know how to make the majority of the drinks and sticking to the assumption that if I dumped enough alcohol into the glass, I wouldn't get too many complaints. That seemed to work.


Steph captured this moment while I was adding some final touches to my bow-tie		*Note the super fly timepiece she got me for my birthday

The expression quickly changed when I discovered it was "Mexican Cruise Ship" night...

So far, life at the club has been pretty wild. I've met some prominent players in the LA business realm, titans of industry, and owners of fortune 500 companies, but more notable than that, I've met their wives....

For the most part, these women are perfectly classy white Protestants.
They order their "up" martini's and Pinot Noir's, smiling politely and well-wishing others out the door before rolling their eyes and switching to single malt Scotch.

Still there are those moments when the older women, the true Queens of Bel Air, come floating into the club, standing stoically, radiating importance.

They hang out at the back of the room accepting praise from the other women on what a fantastic dress they're wearing, how good they're looking, and how nice that endangered animal looks around their neck.

They thank these ladies in-turn, offering smiles which come off a bit too surprised and hysterical resulting from collagen injections rendering their facial expressions taut and inactive.

This is not that far off.

But I must say, my co-workers at the club are great. I'm a favorite among the older Thai women waitresses. I have great success with the women of South-East Asia and am routinely questioned as to what Island I descend from .

Speaking of Asia...
We recently took a stroll into China Town for some dim sum with the extended family for cousin Mina's sad farewell from LA.

Natalie, Steph, Mina, Jeanne, and Jack

It was pretty cool and actually reminded me of Nepal, the way each store had the exact same novelties as the previous one.


I found a mask that looked eerily similar to someone	I know....

Nice!

Thanks to the Instagram app, I can stylize my pictures into pretentious compositions.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Steph and I have had to bundle up lately as temps have dipped down into the low 60's at times, hopefully this will pass soon, until then, we wouldn't think about going to the beach without a sweatshirt or lightweight wind-breaker.

Happy Winter!

We've been attempting to branch out a bit and continue exploring the seemingly endless realm of LA.
One of our favorite Late Night Spots is Mel's Diner on Sunset Boulevard, where we've resurrected our Snuffy's Malt Shop favorite malt: Chocolate/Banana

Another photo enriched with an Instagram filter, feeling urban yet?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well as you all know, my 24th Birthday was on Dec. 17th, I am still accepting any last minute gifts you may have forgotten to ship-off.

It went like this, Steph and I got some early morning breakfast and talked over what we should do to celebrate.

We could go back to Universal Studios, as we got suckered into buying 2012 season passes, but the weekend would certainly mean more crying children and tourists than usual.

The Disneyland idea was also hacked due to the same theory.

Naturally there was only one other alternative.....

VEGAS BABY!
We loaded up the car and drove four hours into the desert, having no reservation, we stumbled upon a great deal at the New York New York Hotel.

View from the 33rd floor.

Paris

This marked Stephanie's first trip to Las Vegas, she was dazzled by the lights and the lions at the MGM Grand...

...but her true vice would be discovered at the hotel bar's 25-cent video blackjack machine.

In her element


The Bellagio Fountain is imperative for any Vegas trip, you've seen it.

The Vegas trip was great, we took our time walking up and down the strip and enjoying different restaurants.

A bit different that my two previous trips which involved waking up on some pool-side lounge chairs at 7:00am at the Flamingo hotel.

Or the other time where I woke up on the floor next to this guy.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Back in LA, the club was holding their annual Employee Christmas Party.

I brought Steph as my plus 1, and we enjoyed a night of delish apps and all the wine and beer we could handle.

Steph was looking REAL pretty in her dress.

Employees gathering for the raffle, I walked away with a nice little gift card.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The absolute BEST part of the past month was set in motion a few days before Christmas when my dad called and asked if I wanted to come home for the holidays.

Of course I did, but Christmas is the busiest time of year at the club.

I asked my boss if I could take-off and despite her hesitation, we discovered that all the other bartenders had agreed to work on Christmas, I was free to go home!

So home I went, and my mom had NO idea...

I snuck into the house and surprised her as her back was turned to me in the back room of the house by announcing

"Merry Christmas Mom!"

She turned around and experienced confusion/sheer-terror/disbelief/and elation, this took about 4 seconds.

The result was a ear-splitting scream and vice-like hug which lasted for some time as she sobbed and shouted.

It meant everything for me that I was able to go home for Christmas, I was starting to fear the loneliness I would be faced with by myself in my apartment.

Thanks Dad for flying me home!

Julie, Dave, and Hazel

I have to say, I was surprised not to see snow, but Milwaukee was beautiful all the same.
We ate downtown on Christmas Eve with our Coatta cousins and had a typical Curtis Christmas at Benihana.
*We realized just how much we've eaten there as a family when we would call out all the tricks that the chef would do next
"Do the volcano!"
"Ok pour the soy sauce on the rice and call it 'Japanese Coca-Cola'"
We know em all.

Downtown Milwaukee

Mom and Ellie

Christmas morning

Steve!

Effie had a skype session with Steph, who was enjoying Christmas in Kansas

BUT THE FUN DIDN'T STOP THERE!
The day after Christmas we drove to Minnesota to see the rest of the fam.
Chuck slept in the car most of the drive.

You guys remember what Saddam looked like when he came out of that cave?

My Niece Samantha, now 5 months old, was one of the best parts of Christmas, this kid is so cute.
Allow me to illustrate with far too many pictures.

She's already learning how to drool

Hanging in the Johnny Jump Up

Sammie and Granny

Surprise Cat Picture!

It was a really great Christmas.
Love my family.

...

--------------------------------------------------

Back in LA, back to usual.

Despite the lack of snow, I was still freezing in the Midwest.

It was nice to come back and head to the beach for a bonfire with the roommates.

Yesterday, Steph and I went to Pasadena to check out a glimpse of "Old Town" and saw the remnants of the Rose Bowl.
(Bummer Wisconsin)

The cafe we went to had some pretty awesome art hanging up, including this one of Cap'n Crunch

There is more to tell, including a pretty amazing Bar Mitzvah I attended down town, but that will have to wait until the next post.

My resolutions, if any, will include trying to post a bit more regularly, and perhaps expand my blog beyond my own experiences in LA, however thrilling those might be.

Happy New YEAR!

Insider: How I went from a broken-down car to a fancy-pants bar in 12 easy Steps!

2011-12-02T02:26:00.000-08:00

I think God reads my blog.

If you read my last post, you heard about the whole car break-down debacle and how I had to push my car up a massive street in 80+ degrees for about a half hour until I could pull into the first available drive; the entrance of the Los Angeles Country Club.

Well go back and read it if you need a refresher.

Caught up??

OK - The big reveal......

THEY HIRED ME!!!! I GOT A BARTENDING JOB!!!!


The new uniform

And I was much more excited than this picture suggests but it's what I had to work with.

I just have to put this into perspective for you.

I went like this....
1. I was running out of money, big time.
2. I was calling Paramount constantly to find more work - it wasn't happening.
3. I was ready to drive my car off the Santa Monica Pier and let the damn thing drown.
4. My car broke down on the road before I ever made it to the pier - nothing out of the ordinary.
5. I chatted it up with the security crew at the Club while waiting for the tow truck, I mentioned that I used to bar tend at a club in MN, they gave me a resume - sort of a 'poor kid's life is in the toilet' type gesture.
6. I got a call two days later, THE MOMENT I hit "SEND" on my last blog post. "We heard you were interested in bar-tending....."
7. I went in for an interview the next day
--Now this is important--
They informed me that a position had quite seriously JUST OPENED UP - as one of the older bartenders, and I'm not kidding you, Just passed away two days before
--OK? still with me?--
8.Then they told me that they were interested in my resume because:
"There was only 1 club that outperformed us last year, and that was Town and Country Club in Minnesota, the club you used to work at, we could use a guy like you..."
Pretty Crazy, OH! AND!
9. My Car got hauled to the shop for the umpteenth time BUT this time they actually discovered an electrical short in the wiring, fixed it, and now my car, AND SPEEDOMETER, have been working fine!

So yeah... Praise God!

He and I have been having some pretty serious discussions as of late.

One of the more heated ones was while I was pushing my car up the street:

"(heavy breathing) OK God!! Here you go!! If you really want me to...
(turn to wave-off obnoxious driver) GO AROUND A**HOLE!!
... If you really want me here, I need something big here, please please PLEASE..."

Now I'm not one to really believe that Everything Happens For a Reason...
But I do think that the reason I got the job was because I was able to take a crap situation and find a way to laugh about it with the security crew of a country club, instead of fuming in my car by myself. I don't think I would have been able to do this if I hadn't been in a mind-frame to just think "Screw it, there are bigger things..."
And I really don't think I would have had that mind frame if I hadn't invited God into the situation...

So again, Thank you God!
It shouldn't have taken me this long to express this considering I don't hesitate to tell everyone how terrible my situation is much of the time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Well I must say things are getting a bit bizarre here in LA, what with Christmas just around the bend.

I've never really conceptualized what Christmas would be like in a place with no snow but it's starting to feel pretty staged.
It depresses me a little to see people putting up Christmas lights and FAKE SNOW while wearing Flip Flops and shorts....
Witnessing things like this tends to make me feel pretty snobbish:
"Look at this idiot, there's no way he'd last ten seconds putting lights up in Minnesota"
I've also caught myself scoffing at anyone wearing any sort of winter jacket - despite my own dwindled resilience.
It just seems like LA is Celebrating a Minnesotan Holliday.

The nonsense all started last month when they Assembled a Real
Christmas tree at a shopping center near my apartment . Like a giant 3D puzzle,
they reattached every branch into its designated hole, let the scoffing begin.

The Final Product...Ok it looks pretty good...

A couple weeks ago, we went to The Grove - the fancy schmansy outdoor shopping area near my apartment so we could watch them light the tree.
The event was to be televised, complete with musical guests like Gavin Degraw, Colbie Callait, and other hot new performers from various hot new Talent Shows and all that.

Everything was beautiful, but the event was awful.
The producers kept stopping the performances and interviews and resetting for extra takes.
Then they demanded that everyone in the audience applaud so that the camera could capture "all the fun we were having" while waiting over 4 hours for the damn tree to light.
It sucked, we felt like we were being used, kids started crying and people started chanting "Light the TREE!!" but they just cranked up music over the speakers to drown us out.

Then all of the sudden, it started to "snow".

While the sight was beautiful, we soon realized that the "snow" was actually just some kind of chemical soap that tasted like poison and caused several people to leave the event in a cussing fury.

It was actually pretty hilarious.

We decided to leave after waiting about 4 hours (along with most of the crowd) but were able to catch the fireworks show from my apartment building

These Seats were much better

We decided to head back to the Grove a few nights later and were able to see the final product...

_________________________________________

Well, in case you were wondering...

What has Darth Vader been up to lately??

Apparently hanging around Rite Aid, getting his Flu shot.

He did find time to Stop by Chick-Fil-A before heading back to the Death Star.

____________________________________________
Steph found a store entirely devoted to Harry Potter recently (of course she did) and lived out her dream of being selected to Gryffindor House while a room full of adults dressed in Hogwarts attire congratulated her.

____________________________________________

I found this book at Target and thought it was awesome.

It would appear that Dr. Jekyll is a tad constipated.

_________________________________________________________
Some people ask us how we've managed to stay grounded while living in LA and avoid succumbing to ridiculous fashion cliche's or becoming pseudo intellects or even "Hipsters"

By cuddling up with an old Steinbeck novel and listening
to a second hand vinyl while sipping some fair trade
chai and working on our exaggerated mustaches of course.

However,
always on the lookout for new trends, some of LA's citizens find ways to embrace nearly every trend in one confounding statement.
Like this guy...

Fashion Genius? Perhaps.
Ruining my favorite Sub Shop? Yes.

_________________________________________

Okay okay, dragging on.

The last fun thing we did recently was go to Universal Studios.

Yes! The Globe!

Steph snagged a photo with the Apollo 13 crew.

We were lucky enough to catch a throw-back Gloria Estefan music video in the food court.

Saw the "Waterworld" Stunt show: far better than the movie I assure you.

And my personal favorite.
We got to see some memorabilia from one of my favorite shows,
Friday Night Lights.
These pads of course belong to Dillon Texas' own Tim Riggins.
"Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose"

Ok cool, that's it.

Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving, lots of love to my family and friends, and you too I guess.

You wanna talk about car problems?

2011-10-25T22:36:00.000-07:00

"Because I got a '98 Civic that's harder to turn over than ME on Laguna Beach!"

(Beverly Hills Ninja anyone?)

Yo yo yo,

It's been a little while since my last update but I wanted to wait until I had something positive to say about my situation....

But that hasn't panned out so what-the-hell.

Here goes.

It all started a couple weeks ago when I wanted to surprise Steph by showing up at her place and take her out for breakfast

(Note: As to who would be paying for breakfast was undetermined)

So I'm cruising down Wilshire Blvd on a beautiful 80-degree sunny day in Los Angeles, past the La Brea Tar-Pits and Rodeo Drive and then Beverly Hills and I'm thinking to myself:

"You know, I might actually be getting used to this whole LA thing."

Then Judas (my Honda Civic) starts giving me gruff like it wants to turn off.

Literally just die in my arms while I'm going 30+ MPH

(Of course I'll never know exactly how fast I was going because Judas killed my speedometer six months ago.)

My initial reaction was to pretend like nothing was happeneing, I'm hallucinating.

There is absolutely no Frickin' way that MY CAR would try to DIE ON ME after I had just replaced the alternator for the 2nd TIME in THREE WEEKS...

The Dashboard lights pulsed a couple times, breathed their final breaths, made some Star Wars "engine turbine shutdown" sounds and then....nothing.

I was still going 30 MPH of course.

In a coffin-on-wheels.

I coasted through an intersection (Thank God for that Green Light) and tried to pull over to the side of the road amidst the LA traffic.

Judas...

Everything was planned perfectly, he was trying to kill me.

I came to this realization when I discovered exactly where I was now stopped.

You see, my car decided to die on one of the busiest roads in LA at a spot right between a golf course.

No Shoulder, No bike lane, No where to pull over.

And the nearest side street was (and I Google Mapped this) 1/3 mile ( or 5 football fields) Up-Hill into the World renown Los Angeles Country Club.

Walk of Doom

It was one of those moments where I might've just walked away from the scene had that been a possibility, but with traffic swerving and honking and driving up-my-ass.

I had to push.

I'm having too much fun with Google Maps

Now I've pushed a dead car before, but I had assistance, this was a whole different ball game.

I not only had to push the damn thing, but steer and work the parking break when my legs collapsed every 30 steps, not to mention wave to oncoming traffic to "Go around" or provide a more expletive hand jesture should it become necesarry.

Talk about multitasking.

The Swass was inevitable.

I had dirt all over my shirt, arms, and face from wiping away sweat after laying my hands on the car.

I was a real mess.

I took another quick break and called Steph to ruin her day by having her come get me.

A couple of Good Samaritan's came at the last second and helped me push the car the final 30 yards into the Main Entrance of the Golf Course.

They gave each other a high-five, a hard days work, and then were gone.

Great Timing Guys.

I found myself in the front drive of the beautiful LA country club.

The Security guys were awesome, they carted out some water and set up traffic cones.

I got into a conversation with the head-of-security who spent his time trying to recruit me into the LAPD, he was an old officer who now runs the security at the course.

Alan, good guy.

The other guy, Juan, ran and grabbed me a bartending application after I told him that I used to work at a country club.

So who knows?? Maybe this whole crazy day has a silver lining.

Steph soon arrived and was psyched to see me.

She rescued me in her pajamas = dedication.

"Not this again"

Lucky me, I still had the number of the towing service I had to use just weeks before to come get me, they came and took this....

Back to here....

And that was over a week ago.

Nazo, my mechanic who I am rapidly losing patience with, has been beside himself with this thing.

He again replaced the alternator, (as if the 3rd time is the charm).

Then he drove it around and it broke down on him!

HA! Now all of the sudden its a wiring issue.

I have not seen my car in a while.

I would be more pissed but he has been been doing this all for free (or so he tells me).

The other day he called me and said that he was going to try to install some sort of "direct wire" nonsense, it sounds dangerous and probably illegal.

So I said fine, It's just got to get me to a dealership so I can trade that Mo-Fo in and get another crap vehicle.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day after that fiasco, Steph and I went back to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and watched Poltergeist with some friends.

We made sure to get in line extra early so we had some primo spots.

We ended up sitting right near the front of the lawn, sipping Two-Buck-Chuck and eating snacks.

Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall/Veronica Mars) and her crew sat right behind us.

Totally rad.

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The Next Day Steph and I drove Up to Big Basin Redwood National Forrest in Northern CAL. She had some vacation time and we were looking for:

A. an Adventure

B. Any chance to get out of LA

This was one of the Best Places I have ever been. I'll let the pictures explain.

Setting up our 6 person tent (Thanks Giblins)

These trees can grow well above 300 ft and live over Two Thousand Years old.

Redwoods are like mutant trees.

They have natural bug fighting qualites in their bark and are also extremely flame retardant.

When fires do occur, they burn through the inside of the trees, leaving then husked out, some go all the way to the top.

Steph: Height 5'4''... and that's the only statistic she will allow

Day 2 we took a 12-mile hike around the forest.

Saw some excellent waterfalls.

refueling

Does this forest look familiar?

It should, The Return of the Jedi was filmed here.

Yes.

This is the Ewok Forest.


Just imagine an AT-ST walking around out there

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We made an entire day out of the drive back to LA.

We stopped in Monterey and checked out Cannery Row and The old Fisherman's Wharf.

The wharf was amazing, it was at one point the largest fishing wharf in the world and is famous for it's seafood restaurants and Elephant Seals that swim in the bays.

Elephant seal barking away

This Pelican was definitely unsure about me

The Wharf

Now what's an ocean town without a place called "Lovers Point".

Well this place had one, so we checked it out.

It was this rocky area filled with crazy little squirrel/gophers.

A very wise looking Squirrel-Gopher

Our next stop was through the famous "17-mile-drive" along Pebble Beach.

This super secret spot is home to some of the world's most famous Golf Courses and one of the most famous tree's in all of nature. (See Below)

"The Lone Cypress"
A pretty big deal according to photographers

Next we stopped off in the artsy ocean city of Carmel-by-the-Sea and found a little hole in wall Pub called The Hog's Breath Inn.

Hog's Head Pale Ale, Yum

This restaurant had some great burgers and beer.

Oh, and It's owned by Clint Eastwood.

Eastwood Merch all over the place

I had the famous "Dirty Harry" Burger, Steph had some delish Fish 'N Chips.

Next time you're in Carmel, check it out.

Yes THAT Eastwood.

After The Hogs Breath, we strolled around Carmel, thanks to the detailed tour guide provided by Steph's dad Randy, who not only suggested places to visit but gave us the detailed history of just about every building we encountered. It was awesome.

We ran down to the bakery and I asked for a football cookie before I realized that they were dog treats.

So tempting

So I settled on a Ghost Cookie instead...

The artistry was a joke compared to the dog cookies

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Back in LA.....

My Twin Roommates Matt and Jeff Giblin celebrated their birthday in high-style as they threw their annual "Twin Party"

All guests were encouraged to find a Twin and dress as such.

Naturally Steph and I went as the Minnesota Twins (Cute!)

Mario Matt and Luigi Jeff

Then the mustache went around the room


"D'ya have a good Sarsaparilla?"

"A Wiser Fella than Myself once said, 'sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar, well, he eats you'"

The Rainbow (Trout) Connection

2011-10-12T14:56:00.000-07:00

We got a new Roommate...
He's pretty chill.

Steph likes him.

He's gotta go.

Roommates Josh Ford and Kermit.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll say this,

Fly fishing in Montana was incredible. I spent three days fishing on the Yellowstone River with my Dad, Ben, and Steve (Uncle Steve not German Shepherd Steve).

This trip was the perfect way to rejuvenate and relax after a week full of car breakdowns and other sorts of Los Angeles nonsense.

The mountains, winding rivers, wildlife, and mesquite Montana air were all welcome changes to the Smog, traffic, and validated parking.

The view from our back deck - The Yellowstone River

We had three days full of fishing, highlighted by the various competitions we proposed each day

Day 1. Most fish - Steve*
Day 2. First to catch 4 types of Trout - Winner*
Day 3. Total inches of fish caught in a day (Team) - Winner*

Of course it wouldn't be a true Curtis fishing trip without some Old-guy humor,

"Nice cast Sally!"

That sort of thing.

First Ever Trout

Tallying inches for our Day 3 competition: Ben and I won in the final 10 minutes
to beat the older Curtis bros. with over 250 inches of fish caught.

At the pinnacle of Fly-fishing fashion with my
Camoflage USA hat and Stoic Wolf tee-shirt.

Ben doing everything he can to make
this fish look as big as possible

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After the fishing trip, it was back to Minnesota for (Yep, you guessed it) ANOTHER Wedding. Cripes!

We celebrated the union of one of my "top dudes" CJ Barr and his lovely lady Molly Herbranson.
I was honored to stand as a Groomsman and provide a little music along with some other friends.
We played Coldplay's "Fix You" as Molly made her way down the aisle.
I must say, it sounded pretty epic.
Molly's cousin provided an awesome lead electric guitar and I got stuck on the keyboard.
I am pretty horrible at the piano and had to cheat by putting pieces of tape on the keys I was supposed to play during the song.

Earlier that day, the wedding party headed downtown to the old Mill City Museum in Menneapolis to take pictures.
This museum was built into the ruins of what was once the largest flour mill in the world.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rest of the trip was spent hanging out with friends and family, including little Sammie...

Two months old!

Watching the Twins further disappoint me by WINNING their final game and ending the season losing 99 games instead of a polished 100... They could at least have made history...

You know your team is crap when these seats cost $10

Attending BU's homecoming game, which I must say gets stranger every year as a former player. Watching the team from the stands was seriously nostalgic and came with the harsh realization that I have become one of those old guys who criticizes each play by saying
"There's no way any team would try to run on us like that in '07 with the defense we had...those were the days".

The trip was capped off in about the best way possible.
With a bike ride.
I've been riding the Minnetonka bike trails for as long as I can remember, but in the past few years, we've added a 21+ twist.
Depart from the Curtis house and take the 5 mile trail into Excelsior to the bars.
The real fun begins on the ride home, in the dark, faculties partly-cloudy, on a trail that now seems 20 miles longer than it did earlier.

Eric and I set off on our trek

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The flight back to California was pretty nice.
It had rained earlier that day in LA, which despite the widespread panic that can cause, made for some nice cool weather.

Not quite Montana

This past weekend, Steph and I drove down to Balboa Island. It's one of the coolest places I've been out here. A small island with houses and shops and a ferry-ride across the bay will take you to another peninsula with other restaurants and beaches. Divine.

This house was COVERED in Holloween decorations, this is not the only house we saw like this.

Next we went to Laguna Beach and took a look off one of the cliffs there. You can hear the sea lions barking away in the ocean.
They smell awful.

That's what's up.
A bit of a weak post but oh well.

In other news, I went to the "wrap party" for my friends' movie I was involved in. The one where I played a Mexican Drug addict. It looks pretty good. I look like crap but we'll wait for the finished product before we pass any judgement.

Umm what else??

My work situation is stagnant as of right now but I am crossing my fingers to get back on set for season two of World's Worst Tenants which should start up in a couple weeks.

I'm happy to announce that I have advanced to a 5-0 record in one of my fantasy football leagues. My team 'Paranormal Sacktivity' is a well-oiled machine and shows no signs of slowing down with Cam Newton at the helm.

Steph and I are going camping next week in Northern Cal, I'm psyched. AND they're playing Poltergeist at the Hollywood forever cemetary on Saturday, so there's that.

In the mean time I'll be hanging out, watching The Wonder Years on Netflix.
I was worried it was going to be one of those shows you love as a kid and then get all excited to show your friends when your older and then it totally sucks (Like when I tried showing Steph 'The Dark Crystal' - which I still defend as a classic).
Not this though, this is pure gold.

Yep.

If this doesn't pan out, I can always find work as a Mexican heroine addict

2011-09-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

So a guy walks into a bar.

Well actually it's an outdoor bar so lets just say a guy sits down on a stool and jurisdiction-wise he happens to be within the legal confines of a bar.

This guy is PUMPED because he is about to watch the first NFL regular season game of 2011 (whoop whoop!) but this guy is also out of money so he had to walk half a mile to this outdoor bar that has one TV and has to spend most of his time shooing away waitresses because "Six dollars for a pint of Bud Lite? American Dollars?"

Then this guy's phone rings, and it's his director-buddy/old film-school classmate Blair on the other line.

Blair: Danny! hey what's up man?

Guy: Hey man, not much, just enjoying a little Packer/Saints football on TV, Meachum needs to light-it-up for me tonight fantasy-wise.

Blair: Oh fun....Anyways I'm filming this short film on Saturday and one of our actors dropped out, I was wondering if you would be interested in helping out?

Guy: Oh really! yeah umm let me just think here, gotta see if I'm busy, let me just check my calendar quick...

Blair: yeah sure

GUY places his phone on the counter for a few moments. He is fully aware that he has nothing going-on on Saturday but stalls to create tension/provide the illusion that he is a busy guy, in fact, GUY has never even used the calendar function on his phone.

Guy: You know what!... Yes I think I might just be able to help you guys out, what's the role?

Blair: Great! How good is your Spanish accent?

Guy: ....

Blair: Well in the scene there's this crack house right? And the main character has to go in there but it's full of all these degenerates and druggies and this Mexican heroine-addict-guy wakes up and says this line in Spanish.

Guy: ...right

Blair: And I was thinking, how am I gonna find somebody to fill in and then Boom! Danny Curtis! of course! So what do you think?

Guy: ...sure...

Blair: Sorry what?

Guy: I'll do it...

Blair: Great! Thank you!

So then this guy buys a beer. Not out of shame mind you, because I mean this is a real opportunity to further his acting career...You know?

So then this guy buys another beer.

BUT the guy had a bunch of fun on set seeing as how the crew was primarily comprised of his roommates.

Roommate Matt Giblin (camera operator) and the Amazing RED camera

Andrew the PA smashing up some Crystal Meth for the scene

Blair the Director (Center) with Jeff the Director of Photography (Right) discussing shots

And I must say, the guy nailed his line "Quien diablos fue eso?" ("Who the hell was that?")

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Well thank God for Fantasy Football

I am proud to say that I have resurrected both of my previous Fantasy Teams "Human Centipede" and "Paranormal Sacktivity"as well as a new Third team "Smokin' a Blount" - Legarrette Blount anyone?

I many have gone overboard with Three teams this year, but I have been going nuts waiting for some football.

I think it's because football brings so many familiar and comforting feelings with it.
The leaves changing, the cool air, busting out the sweatshirts.

Of course in LA it means another beautiful 80 degrees and sunny :) .... kinda getting sick of it

Now as I write, I realize that the Vikes have "pooped" the proverbial "bed" these past two weeks, needless to say I was JACKED to attend the first game of the season with some other MN natives in San Diego when they took on the Chargers last week.

Now, I'm a Chris Kluwe fan.

Who?
The Vikings punter.

He is this genius speed-reader, Guitar Hero champion,World of Warcraft Phenomenon type-guy.
He is hilarious and can often be heard on 93X in MN as "Chris Warcraft"
He also plays in a Minnesota rock band called "Tripping Icarus", what's not to love?

Naturally when my grandma asked me what I wanted for my birthday last year, I said "a Chris Kluwe jersey"

So there I am. San Diego. Kluwe jersey proudly sported amongst a sea of Peterson #28's and Allen #69's (actually I was surprised to see that more than a fourth of the fans at the game were Vikings fans) and then out of nowhere BANG! another #5...At first I thought "Oh some joker went and got himself a McNabb jersey" but upon his turning realized it was a throw-back Kluwe.

"Woah!" I thought, I've never seen another Kluwe jersey, I need to take a picture with this guy.
Of course when I approached him and he saw my jersey, he returned my surprise and said
"Are you a Kluwe fan?!"
To which I responded "Heck yes I am! and I see that you are too!"
And he said, "well I'd better be, we're his family"
To which he motioned to the rest of his crew, to his sister.
Then I met Mrs. Kluwe....
It was awesome.

The Bro-in-law, Mrs. Kluwe, and ME

Pregame parachuters land in the stadium

9/11 pregame ceremony


...and a picture with the legendary 'Purple Pimps' and some random Chargers fan

------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were a couple of high points these past couple weeks.
I hopped on Facebook to discover that a promo video for Ambler Apparel was posted to my wall!
This was some of the footage I shot when I was in Nepal, Ambler was one of the focal points of our trip out there.
They are a company that provides employment for many Nepali women who work knitting hats from the comfort of their homes and have the ability to support their families without having to succumb to life on the streets.

Ambler Video - click here!

It was great to see some footage pulled together. I have been spending a bunch of time looking through the footage, trying to find the greatest clips out of more than 20 hours of footage. It's been overwhelming at times.

But after seeing the Ambler video I decided that I should toss a little trailer together, a little something for the supporters.

Just Feel Me Dear Human Trailer - click here!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Last installment of this post will be an ode to the Sh*t-heap of cars I've had in my 7 years of driving.

Free Candy Kids?

1st - I'd like to thank my very first automobile, the White-panel Econoline "Tonka van" (Creeper Approved) for providing many exciting memories, like the times my friends would pile in the back and "surf" while I drove recklessly around Minnetonka.
Or, like the time I came home to find my mom painting the car blue with paint she found in the basement "But It'll wash right off".
Unfortunately 9 months after the purchase, the finger of God came down and literally severed the battery into two halves and destroyed the vehicle forever.

This random internet photo doesn't do it justice

My 2nd (and favorite) vehicle was my Green '87 Buick Century - This was affordable luxury at its finest. Comfy seats, huge trunk, and even a map light (consult your nearest Buick owner for further explanation).
The Buick also sported a broken front-left headlight and hood damage after my brother "barely bumped it" with the Suburban in the driveway.
This car, despite several trips to the mechanic, had to be "put down", it still breaks my heart.

10 miles to the gallon? We must me going down-hill

Things got exciting with my 3rd vehicle, my dad's Blue 2004 Chevy Tahoe - This car, a college grad present, came with it's shares of pros and cons as well.
Pros: Leather interior, CD player!, and killer 4-wheel drive for those snowy occasions.
Cons: The MPG rarely crossed into the double digits, did I say CD player? Psyche! Broken, as the main transportation for our dogs, it came with about 10 lbs of dog hair and smell.
(This was confirmed by a Minnetonka police officer who pulled me over for leaving my brights on and accusing me of smoking weed)

Asshole Cop: You uh, you been smokin' any dope tonight?

Me: (Sigh) No sir

A.C: What's that I smell then?

Me: German Shepherd

Ick

Sadly there was no way I was going to be able to afford driving the Tahoe around in LA, so I decided on my 4th and current vehicle - The white '98 Honda Civic with the rusted hitch on the back.

If ever there was a lemon.

I'll just say that I've got the mechanic under my 'favorites' list in my phone because we talk every other week.

Two nights ago, Steph and I were driving through Westwood and it broke down, this of course was 2 days after it had the alternator and battery replaced. It's currently back at the garage.

What will the next car be? A Ford Fiesta? A Geo Metro? A Gremlin? At this rate I would not be surprised.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tomorrow I leave for Montana for some fly-fishing with my dad, Ben, and my uncle Steve, I am super pumped as I've

A. Never been to Montana
B. Never fly fished (I know I know, it's not as easy as I think, chill out)

Then I make my bi-monthly trip back to MN for The Barr wedding.

Super excited to experience some Fall weather.

Wisconsin Wedding, Old Meets Young, and Skeeter

2011-08-27T19:44:00.000-07:00

I’ve sat at this computer with this same document open three different times, in three different locations.

The First location was at my usual spot at Steph’s picnic table at her house. I was ready to relive the fun she and I had in Wisconsin and Minnesota but I was really into the Hunger Games book and wanted to finish it. The book turned out to be a trap, I thought I was going to get some “Running Man” type story, and was rewarded to a bit of a Twilight, teenage-girl-angst ending.

The second location was at another familiar spot. The Burnside Café at my Apartment Complex. I usually come here to edit video and chat it up with my Swedish Barista buddy Robin. Unfortunately I was feeling particualry cynical that day about my horrible job situation and feared that my entire blog would reflect that, so I stuck to editing the Nepal video and waiting to hear back on some job opportunities – fruitless.

Now I’m here a week after my first blog attempt. Sitting in Steph’s room while she is away at work and I do laundry (it’s a bit cheaper at her place).

I definitely want to highlight how great it was to meet my lovely little niece Sammie (not the aforementioned “Sammy” – which seemed to add an inappropriate amount of masculinity to the child, which she could do without seeing how most passerby thought she was a boy despite the pink and polka dots, Sure, dress your boy in pink, who am I to say he doesn’t like pink.)

Stressed over the confusion

Now I’m not an expert on babies, but I have the sense to ask if it’s a boy or girl if I'm not sure. It upsets me enough when people get my dog’s gender confused.

I am getting a kick out of this latest Canadian fad though. Apparently this family has been raising their child in a "gender free environment" Not admiting to the gender of the child until it's old enough to choose. Very forward thinking, definitely worth the years of torment and bullying to finally admit that “Yes, I am still a boy”.

I've decided to go the other way with child rearing, I'm gonna go with my gut and make predictions about my niece from some initial observations.

I am pretty sure that after spending just few days with my niece, I can not only guess her preferred color pallet, but can accurately determine just about every interest she will gravitate towards in the next 30 years of her life.

For example, when I first held her, she gave me this fish-out-of-water look that (to the layman) would suggest that I was holding her incorrectly but I soon realized that she was making a desperate plea for individualism.

The way she fought to kick her sock off, dismissed as “being squirmy”, was actually a message that this chick is a naturalist – she wanted to go barefoot and feel the breeze.

The way she rolled her eyes around the room in search of my face told me that she was adventurous, athletic, and will be an excellent reader.

Later when I had her balanced on my legs, she reached up with her hands and scrunched her fingers – a clear sign of leadership, probably a candidate for school president, or captain of her hockey team.

And the way she pooped her pants, smiled, and fell asleep indicated that she is a woman who gets what she wants.

People always wonder what their kids are going to be like, just pay attention people, not that difficult.

I can’t wait for Halloween to see if Sammie will go with the “cute bug” “jack-o-lantern” or “peapod” option.

__________________________________________________

So Wisconsin was amazing.

Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. Nate and Kasey Johnson (or Coatta? wink wink) on a fantastic wedding and for including me on the big day.

I had the pleasure of performing the tasks of both usher and musician. Now I must say, I always thought the usher position was for those friends of yours who are reliable but kind of an embarrassment so you make them seat people and give them a thumbs-up at the end, but I was wrong. Ushing might be the most stressful job at a wedding, a position for your “Top Dudes”.

It didn’t help the stress level when the pastor said “if somebody has a heart attack during the service, who do you think is responsible for reviving them? That’s right, the ushers.”

Listening to our job detail at the rehearsal

Karly, Kelly, and Sammie

I was happy to escape to the stage and play some music with my brother John during the later part of the service.

Ben examining his child in the sight of God before the wedding

Julie reading a passage at the wedding

The real joy was on the bus ride was after the wedding. Driving on a bus through Wisconsin prairie and farmland, cold Miller-Lite in my hands, it was exactly the kind of stress free medicine I had been craving since living in LA.

I even got Steph in on the action with a beer, she was distressed not to see any Smirnoff Ice around but darn those manners of hers, she couldn’t say no.


Yum!

Visiting the old Reynolds cottage

Lake at the Cottage

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, what better way to finish off a great wedding than by celebrating your Great Grandma’s One-Hundred-and-swear-to-God-Fourth Birthday?

Great Grandma Reynolds

Yes. Great Granny Reynolds turned the ripe old age of 104 and has never looked better. We popped on over to The Attic Angel Retirement Community to give her our best and had quite the experience.

Now I’ve never had a great track record at retirement homes. They tend to make me antsy, what-with the stiff couches, floral wallpaper, doilies, and figurines of forest animals, not to mention the oxygen tanks, orthopedic shoes, or the shelves containing various ceramics and urns (Class of ’96?) – Jk, although I was wondering about that, but I must say that this place was pretty nice.

Anyways, Grandma is something of a legend at “the Attic” for obvious reasons, but the gaggles of old ladies who hungrily surrounded us could barely contain their excitement as they helped us track her down, with several eyewitnesses relaying that they had “just [seen] Helen in the cafeteria” moments before.

The crew, looking for cheeks to pinch

Right on queue, the elevator doors opened and out WALKED the lady of the hour. Amazing that she walks around, unlocks her room door with her key and has a DVD player.


This is a Hallmark card

After a few pictures, she decided her room was a bit cramped and moved us down the hall to the “Quiet room” where there is ample space, a piano, and a window that she favors, “You can see the highway from here, and the garden”.

5 Generation Photo

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

We then headed back to Minnesota for a little more R&R with friends and fam and kicked things off with a sweet reunion at the newly revamped Psycho Suzies restaurant in Minneapolis. This place has everything you could ask for in the way of Polynesian Tiki-style drinks and amazing pizza.

Patio at Psycho Suzie's

Where else can you get a drink that comes in a ceramic volcano? The tattooed servers at PS are way rad and seem to be a bit more hardcore than your average LA hipster.

Amazing

The future Mr. & Mrs. Barr, this should be in your slideshow

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night the party ventured on in Mahtomedi of all places at the home of Dusty Wahl. Together we headed into Willernie, a town known only to locals, to a bar called Frigaards, where ordering anything more complicated than a Rum & Coke might halt the juke box and cause the pony-tailed bartender to inquire what “city folk like [us] [were] doing there”.

Lucky for us, it was “Dollar Keystone Nite” so we were set. Dusty attempted to keep a low profile as the place was crawling with old Mahtomedi Alum. Of course, being an all-star highschool runningback sits somewhere between President Bush and War Hero in Willernie and he was immediately recognized.

“D WAHL!!! The F*** Have you been up to man!? we heard you’d been comin’ out here lately.”

The Surly locals kept Dusty on his toes all night, he was even offered to “bump some cocaine” in the bathroom, an offer he humbly declined.

Dusty Wahl: Mahtomedi King

This bar had it all, free pool, dartboard, and even had some dice so we could play a fantastic drinking game.

Steph Wins/Loses with her "Dead Nazi"

Casey and her "Crystal Virgin"

The only thing missing was an old toothless woman named “Skeeter” sitting at the end of the bar... Oh wait, scratch that, there she is greeting Dusty.

Woman at Bar: (Offering a crooked hand) Name’s Skeeter

Dusty: (Shaking Hand) Hi Skeeter, I’m Dus….

Bartender: SKEETER!! Quit Hasselin’ the Customers!

I am counting the days when I can go back for Dollar Keystone Nite in Willerni.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the trip was spent relaxing at the Home of Ben, Kelsey, & Samantha Curtis.

Biking around in Minnetonka

The Chocolate/Banana Malt at Snuffy's: Divine

Reading my roommates Kindle, definitely on the wish-list

Our "Last Supper" at Jimmy Johns - these do NOT exist in LA :(

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to Reality

Things started quickly when we got home. I was back at Paramount for two days, running one of my favorite errands, gathering props.

I had to pick up two rubber pistols and two sets of handcuffs for a cop show and they needed to be sent within the hour, I had to hustle. The prop place is one of the coolest places I have seen.

Showing me how the handcuffs work

When I say they have everything, they have everything. This place outfits most movies and has everything from hospital equipment to stuffed bears to military equipment to scuba gear to home furnishings, everything. I was in awe when I was taken to the gun room and asked to take my pick.

"Take your pick"

Wow

Unfortunately I was running out of time and had to get the items to Kinkos in a hurry. I hopped in the car and flew to the nearest one I could find, parked my car and ran in. Now it took me a second too late to realize that I was carrying two very life like pistols in a clear plastic bag and gave the clerk quite a shock when I tossed them on the counter and said “these need to be sent right away!” His first words, after he put his hands up and backed away a step were “Man, what is this?” I had to quickly explain that they were fake. Only in LA.

_______________________________________________

And since then….nothing, Unfortunately I’ve found myself back to square one with the job situation, After the guns were sent off, the show wrapped and there hasn’t been enough work to go on around the office.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tired of this.

Living week to week, hoping that I can get enough work making copies to pay rent in an overcrowded apartment thousands of miles away from friends and family. The glitz and glam of Hollywood have grown dull in these past weeks.

This industry is wearing me down, and I find myself peeking at the calendar more and more at the prospect of visiting home.

I know that my time out here has not been a waste but that’s just about the worst pep talk you can give yourself when you’ve eaten nothing but PB&J’s for 2 days and listen to a boss who has a knack for treating you like a 4-year old.

Point is, If I’m supposed to last another month out here, let alone another year, I’m gonna need some big big changes in my life.

I don’t even know what to pray for, maybe just that my attitude improves, or a little direction in my life. Finding a lasting job wouldn’t be the worst thing either.

If you have time enough to read all this crap, if you could toss up a prayer for myself and Steph, that would mean a lot.

This blog has probably been the most rewarding thing I’ve done out here.

I love hearing feedback from people and hearing about their own crazy situations. So let me know!

OTHER NOTABLE MOMENTS:

Some of the Roomies and I drove out to beautiful Ventura for some Mini Golf Fun and then on to Santa Barbara.

David and Jeff, ready to putt

Harbor in Santa Barbara

Got to see Kneen! Picked up Josh Kneen from the Amtrak Station, and got to hang with him for a couple days, great time.

Explains it all

Steph and I were invited to my pretty-much-cousin Chelsy’s birthday party at Malibu Wines! It was a beautiful place and we had a great time “sipping” wine and listening to some Jazz.

Malibu Wines

Saw this guy at the beach

Santa Monica Iguana

Danny sucks at writing his blog (part deux)

2011-07-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody. As promised, here is Part 2 of my attempt to catch everyone up with news from the West. I could bore you with most of what I've been up to with more hiking stories but I realized that people simply do not care about hiking, "You live near mountains, we get it". So I will simply skip over all that "Bullsh" and just hit you with the highlights.

THE BIGGEST NEWS OF LATE
Another Curtis!

Beautiful Samantha Jean was born on Thursday (Congrats Ben & Kels!) and as far as I can tell from the stream of picture messages, appears to be "THE cutest little thing" ever.

This news of course shifts the titles around in the Curtis Family, launching us all into the new and unusual territory of assumed-maturity.

I have been stripped of my title as "Brother Danny" and now bear the unusual load of "Uncle".

I must say, this changes the ball game considerably.

Even as I write, I do so as an Uncle, which in my opinion is a little weird. No one wants to know what someone's uncle is talking about online.

But I'm afraid there is no running from it. I fear that I have been becoming an uncle for some time now. Just the other day I donned a newly groomed mustache and thought for a second "hmm, I could pull this off".

I've realized that the recent liberation of my facial hair is only one in a slew of rights, nay, responsibilities I now possess as an uncle.

The List Continues

As an uncle, I now feel it enabled to....
_____________________________________________
1. Drink lite beer unabashed at any gathering deemed a "function" "event" or "big moment" no matter what the occasion or reverence.

"There's an open bar at the Christening right?"

2. Wear Jean Shorts and the occasional fanny pack to tee ball games.

"C'mon UMP! Let the kids play for Chrissake!"

3. Supply my nieces and nephews with highly innapropriate movie choices when they spend the night at my house.
"Terminator 2 anyone?"

4. Directly neglect any house rules my brother or his wife have established in the way of diet or danger to assure my spot as "favorite uncle".
"Dirt-bikes and Doughnuts!"

5. Smoke cigars whenever outside to "keep the mosquitoes away".
"It's not bad for you if you don't inhale"

6. Buy a fishing boat, and attempt to drag a tube behind it.
"Just watchout, it's an outboard, wouldn't want you kids to get chopped up. Your parents would kill me"

7. Tell the scariest damn ghost stories ever.
"And he's still out there to this day, hackin' kids up with a hatchet..."
_____________________________________________

SO excited to see you next week Sammy!!

========================================

Okay, Wow, where to pick up the rope.

Umm like I said, went hiking again BUT we also went cliff jumping at the end which makes it more exciting, so I will allow some pictures.

45 ft. drop

And moving on,

As many of you may have heard, the 405 Freeway (America's busiest road) closed for a couple days recently. This event, dubbed CARMAGEDDON, was purported to be the most catastrophic event ever faced by mankind, in classic LA fashion.
The result?
Some of the lightest traffic reported in LA in the past few years.

This news story was blown so out of proportion that a group of people actually set up a table and ate dinner on the empty 405.

And why was I not surprised at this overreaction? In January, LA weathermen warned residents a week in advance for a "Severe Winter Storm Warning" that amounted in 2 inches of rain.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lizard Story:
Steph's landlady Melanie wanted to plant some tomatoes but she was wary squirrels were going to eat them.
I stepped up and built a sweet cage thing around the plants using chicken wire and stakes.
My contraption worked so well that it not only prevented animals from getting at the plants, but captured and tortured any that were foolish enough to try, a lizard being its first victim.
The lizard got his body stuck in a hole in the wire and sat flailing for hours.
I grabbed his back legs and crammed him through hole.
Then the idiot ran to the other side of the fence and got his head stuck.

Having no way to reach in and free him, Melanie provided me with some grill-tongs.
I pulled and pulled but his head was stuck.

I was getting pretty pissed that I freed this lizard only to see him get stuck again so I reached in again and really cranked on him.
His tail snapped off and started squirming around.
I thought I killed him but I finally got him out and tossed him on the rocks.
He scampered away with a little stub, which is more than he deserved.

You're Welcome

============================================
Wedding season...

So I kicked off a summer full of weddings a couple weeks ago when I returned to Minnesota to play music for the Wedding ceremony of David and Beth Benjamin.

A quick meal before the knot was tied. I love this picture.

Great Wedding

Eric's looking "fly"

When I got back to my room at Ben and Kelsey's, I had quite the welcome party.

Another great trip to Minnesota, one wedding down. Steph and I head to Wisconsin this Thursday for cousin Kasey's wedding.

==========================================

Notable Mentions:

1.The Rommies' parents came to town, we headed down to Long Beach and had a killer bon-fire. This was enhanced by the church-group that shared our fire, providing entertainment as they danced around the fire singing worship songs led by two 60 year old guys named "Terry and Justice" - which I kind of think would be a sweet band name.

"Terry! play 'light the fire' again!"

2. My work situation has improved I suppose. I haven't had to call any Zoos lately as I have been stuck in a the room with the accountants, filing, copying, sending, paper-jam. We are being audited so I have the wonderful task of tracking down seemingly every expense report and receipt we've had. Repetitive - YES , Boring - Incredibly, But did you get to see Halle Berry on your way to the bathroom - yeah, three times in 2 days!

3. Steph's hometown Kansan BFF Becky came to visit. It was great for Steph to see a familiar face and have someone to shop/gab/and girl-out with. I make for a pretty lousy gal-pal. The one downfall was that all that Southern chatter caused Steph to backslide into her high-speed unpolished Southern-talk, I haven't understood one word she has said since.

This freaked me out - Get tested people

All right! All caught up. Off to Wisconny this week! Seeing my niece, playing music at a wedding. Good things on the way.

Danny sucks at writing his blog (part 1)

2011-07-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

Hola Amigos,

So sorry, It's been a while since I last rapped at ya, but thank God it's because I have been working again!

In my last post, I was tear-dropping about how I had lost my job and how I was having a tough time finding one.

I asked you guys to pray that God would open something up and !!BOOOM!!

I'm back to that hell hole of a job at Paramount Studios, temporarily un-fired, racing across town to the storage units to pick up:

2 X blow-up dolls
1 X box of candles
2 X party hats
NOTE: (check the 'props' box)

It's true, it seems that I misinterpreted that two weeks without contact from a company doesn't exactly mean that they don't still expect you to come in to work tomorrow. So sure enough I've been in the office, hunched over the Kyocera Printer addressing another paper jam.

Of course there are high points in my day, I've been working alongside Family Game Night, and every so often I get to check out their game ideas.

Family Game Night working on a new contraption: Fling the velcro ball...

...at this idiot

Of course the big news around the office is that we have some new shows on the horizon. I'm absolutely tickled to report that Zoo Productions is gearing up to begin filming their new gift to television, "World's Dirtiest Game Show"

Brilliant.

And as this is a trivia based game show, I was selected to assist the producers in collecting the answers to some of their questions they had for the show....

INT. OFFICE BUILDING. DAY

A Young Man sits at a desk in a small white office. He is staring at the black phone on his desk, waiting. After a great while he exhales, picks up the phone, and begins dialing.

VOICE: Thank you for calling San Diego Zoo's animal expert services, this is Nancy speaking

ME: Yeah Hi Nancy. My name is Danny Curtis, I'm calling from a Production Company in Los Angeles, we're gathering trivia questions and answers for a new game show that we're currently working on. Just wondering if I could talk to an expert about a couple of questions I have about animals?

NANCY: Okay great, and what is it you're looking to find out?

ME: (Pause) Well Nancy, I was just curious if you had any information about which types of mammals, other than humans umm (cough cough) uh

NANCY: I'm sorry sir? I didn't catch that.

ME: Oh sorry Nancy, yeah I was curious if you knew umm....what animals, if any, masturbate on a regular basis?......just off the top of your head......take all the time you need......Nancy?

NANCY: did you say masturbate? .....on a regular basis?

ME: I did, yes Nancy. You see we're gathering trivia questions...for this new show, and we were wondering...

NANCY: Hold please

<PAUSE>

NANCY (cont.): ...Kangaroos apparently

ME: Kangaroos! that's great! thanks Nancy, have a wonderful rest of the day.

God certainly has a sense of humor. But I must say, I'm thankful.
I needed work, and work is what came to me.
Despite how downright humiliating and haunting the work might be.

And If I'm not the one directly embarrassing myself, there are plenty of people around the Lot who are doing it for me.

Like these idiots, waiting in line for "Lets Make a Deal" in full-costume. It takes about 3 hours to get through all the security check points just to get into the studio, Oh, and one bathroom, so you're gonna have to hold it, especially if you are waiting behind the guy dressed like a dinosaur.

Let's Make a Deal-The American Dream

Reality TV has been living off the fat-o-the-land thanks to a simple idea.
People around the world, we'll call them "educated free-thinking Americans" tune into these shows as a way to feel better about themselves and lessen the blow of their current crappy situations by seeing how far worse and humiliating other peoples' lives are on TV.

Jerry Springer anyone?

What I never really put together is that many of these people are blinded to what they're getting themselves into.

Producer: You wanna make an easy $2,500 AND get a free makeover?

PoorSap#8,599: Really!?

Producer: SURE! All you have to do is sit down and talk about your recent break-up, but we'll help you with the lines (and since you're especially sad and pathetic, we're gonna have you eat out of a dog dish on camera, like a real dog).

PoorSap#8,599: Hmm I don't know about this?

Producer: C'mon! I'll throw in a free Steak Dinner at Ruth's Chris!

PoorSap#8,599: Deal!

I used to think stuff like this was cute and fun and now it just makes makes me sad.
I feel like I'm working behind the curtain in OZ, pulling levers and creating smoke.

A few crayons hoping to win big

Now it might be my inner Holden Caulfield coming out (I just reread 'The Catcher in the Rye') but lately I've been seeing the way these eager people wait in line for hours on end in ridiculous costumes just to see Wayne Brady and it just 'depresses the hell out of me'.

And John here just about put me over the edge.

Good Luck John, Hope you win

I found John next to a staircase standing behind a group of girls dressed like the "Dream Girls"who seemed to have very little interest in the show and were discussing their modeling futures.
I approached John and told him I liked his 'get-up', and that my family lived in Wisconsin.
I asked to take a picture (I know, kinda mean, but could YOU pass this guy up?) and he put on a show!
He even provided an alarmingly loud "LET'S GO BADGERS!!!" which only further distanced John and I from the disapproving Divas next to us.
He explained that he was vacationing alone, and that this was definitely the highlight of his trip. The chance to be on TV! What an opportunity!

My first instinct was to apologize to John for how he was being made to wait in line all day in the hot sun, with no water and one bathroom.
I wanted to warn him that the whole thing was a joke, that for the next 3 hours of filming, he was going to be a part of an operation fueled by greed where Wayne's smile was only on when 'Action' was called.
But before I could tell him any of this he said, "This is gonna be a great story to tell my daughter when I get home."

And then it hit me.

I was acting like a real Ass.
I was looking at all of these people, feeling sorry for them, that they were disillusioned. I was feeling entitled that I knew a secret, that I understood the operations behind the machine, that there IS no magic.

John certainly did not need to be pitied, he was thankful, and he was anticipating a great story.

That's the biggest lesson, be thankful and anticipate a great story.

...

I'll also throw in this, demand higher quality TV. Too many shows today are conceived by Mindless Apes.

World's Dirtiest Game Show? - God help us.

Thanks John!

"One bathroom?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm trying to recap what the heck I've been up to this past month.
Again, people, sorry about leaving you with a cliff hanger that I had no job.
You all probably thought I was face-down in some gutter on Fairfax.

In the interest of time, Here are 5 snap-shots of what happened recently.

1. The Schott's came to town! - Steph's parents swung through town before and after they went camping in beautiful Carmel. It was so great having real parents in town. They made us some amazing food, thanks to the Trader Joe's Cookbook, and provided some much needed wisdom and guidance. They said some really nice things to me like, "we support you and your decision to work in the film industry" - which I preferred to the other option - "Our daughter is a nurse and you are a moron. Get a real job."

2. I got an Iphone - and if that's not already hipster enough for you, I got a white one. I might have to bust out my slim-fit jeans again.
Oh! and holla at me if you want to play "words with friends" - screen name: Curtles

First Picture taken on the new Iphone!

3. Huntington Beach Fun - Steph and I stole down to Huntington one fine Thursday and enjoyed the beach and a hole-in-the-wall diner thanks to Steph's CA guidebook (although I'm sure my Yelp! App would have wasted no time in pointing it out to us). It was a great day, however I received the harshest sun-burn of my life. Now we Curtis' are a dark-breed, but I was punished for my arrogance. It's sunscreen from now on, plus I don't look forward to getting another invasive "mole-map" any time soon from the doctor.

The Sun: Radiant Life-Giver or Malevolent Cancer-Scorcher? You decide.

Harbor House Cafe: Huntington


Steph "chillaxin"

4.(th) of July - This year's 4th was full of events, the roomies and I kicked things off at the Santa Monica Pier and enjoyed some Sand Football and Boogie Boarding in the Ocean. We then took the party back to our place and had a huge BBQ with like 50 people and played some volleyball. For fireworks, we drove to a parking garage on Sunset Blvd and had a great view of the city and the various fireworks shows.

5. More Hiking - Steph, Roomie-Jeff, and I went on one of my favorite hikes at Temescal Canyon. This hike had it all; waterfalls, wildlife, ocean views, and other hikers with those weird shoes with the individual toes.

Flora

Fauna

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So that gets us through about the 2nd week in July?

Stay tuned for part 2 of "Danny sucks at writing his blog"

You guys won't believe what happened during CARMAGEDDON...

Breakfast for Dinner, a Trip Home, a Birthday Bash, and Karaoke Happy Fun Time!

2011-06-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

INT. MSP AIRPORT . DAY

Daniel Curtis returns to his chair outside Gate E6 after confirming with the gate attendant that his flight has indeed been delayed due to mechanical issues. He has just spent that past 5 days visiting friends and family in Minnesota and Wisconsin and is ready to head back to LA. His Phone Rings. A California Area Code.

ME: Hello

VOICE: Uh Hi...Daniel? This is Augustino, I work at the HAHA COMEDY CAFE in Burbank, we met the other week....This might sound strange but were you involved in a car accident earlier today?

ME: ....Pardon Me?

AUGUSTINO: Yeah, we've been getting phone calls all day from various LA news sources asking if we knew a Daniel Curtis, and that you had been hit by a car on Highland ave in Hollywood today, just wondering if that was you or....but I mean I'm talking to you so....are you in the hospital or something?

ME: Hit by a car? I'm actually in Minnesota right now...

AUGUSTINO: They sent you to Minnesota!? Jee-Zus! was it serious?? They said you were dead!

AUGUSTINO (aside): they sent him to Minnesota....yeah....I dunno, probably that Mayo Institute or whatever?

ME: No no I'm fine! It wasn't me, I'm at the airport in Minneapolis right now

AUGUSTINO: So you didn't get hit by a car?

ME: Umm No

AUGUSTINO: Well....alright! Glad you're safe....freaky shit man!.... I dunno what's going on, text me if your plane starts going down or something...

ME:.....will do, thanks

What a way to come back to LA.

I phoned my mom to tell her I had apparently been hit by a car hours earlier, thousands of miles away, the confusion spread. It turned out that a different Daniel Curtis had been hit by a taxi earlier in LA, very sad to report.

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Wassup Blog-friends!?

Is it time to Monetize this thing yet?
Who'd be interested in buying some "life among limes" tee-shirts, or maybe coffee mugs?
They could have a cartoon lime smoking a cigarette saying "Life is full of Limes" or "I'm a Lime" or "It's Lime Time!"
"bLimey!".....so yeah I lost my job

I'm a bit desperate at the moment.

Apparently, the full-time PA position was filled by a charming girl who arrived two weeks ago after meeting our producer at a bar.
Maybe she is better suited at shopping for bath tubs.

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
But for now, I'm hitting the streets, trying once again to find a job that will allow me to stay here.
Watch out Barnes and Noble.

So pray for me please, it would be greatly appreciated

I'll give you a moment....

....
....
....

Ok, now let me catch ya'll up on the Fun I had these past couple weeks;

Last time I reported, I had gone onstage at the Haha Comedy Cafe, a once in a lifetime experience I thought.
Shortly thereafter I received a phone call and was invited back for a second time to compete in a "newcomers tournament"....

ME: Hello?

ITALIAN CLUB OWNER:

Danny Curtis! hey you're the Midwest kid right?

with the uh work-out jokes 'n shit?

Yeah you were the one that sat on stage for 'boutta half hour right?

funny stuff...

LISTEN we're gonna need you to come back and compete in this little show we're throwin together, whaddya say heh?

...where I qualified to come back for a Third time to compete in the "newcomers finals" pitting me against 19 other comedians (yes it was a long night) for the position of "comic-of-the-month".

Now I did NOT walk away with the crown that evening but was successful enough to be invited back on Monday nights to continue on my "career path".

What a "cluster-mug"

I suppose I'll keep attending if I've got no other pressing matters.
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"Well it's about dang time we got active and started working out! For Real this time!"

Steph and I arrived at this inspiring revelation after some particularly greasy pizza in Westwood.

"...Tomorrow we start! No Excuses. Whatever we'll start slow if we have to but, could you pass the mozzarella - thanks.....we'll start slow but we are gonna start kicking butt. I would even consider working up to a marath... " (You get the picture)

In our defense, there were some pretty great pictures of Rocky Balboa on the wall. They even had one with Sylvester Stallone and the owner where they were smiling like old friends and pointing at each other.
Completed with the personalized legend: LOVE THE PIZZA! KEEP FIGHTIN' - SLY STALLONE

So we jogged around the luxurious HOLBMY PARK in Bel Air, and we couldn't have gone 100 feet before we had to maneuver around some 70-year-old guy basking in his sun chair next to his topless 30-something "girlfriend".
I made a journalistic query whether or not to snap a picture "You know, for the blog?" but Stephanie made it clear that it would not be necessary.

A truly eclectic group of park goers were out and about including several pods of "oldies" who were either setting up checker boards on the grass or sitting open-mouthed on park benches staring into space (there's something about the old people here, I'm not joking).
There was a fiesta of sorts underway at the picnic area with members of the Latin community and we even spotted a group of "big heavies" or "Boombas" galumphing down the trail, smashing it to death in their matching tees, 'racing for the cure'.
Other notable park experiences included a father teaching his 5 year old daughter how to golf, a lesson that nearly cost an elderly couple on a nearby bench a visit to the hospital, as well as a group of Shitzu's who had escaped their "walker" and went tearing across the lawn in a frenzy.

We then decided to take a walk around some of the streets in the area to check out some of the houses.

Again, if you want to pay to go on a star tour, this view will be a gem, you can actually SEE part of the house!

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One of the highlights of the past couple weeks was heading over to an actual house, with a yard and driveway and everything, to have a breakfast for dinner party with some friends.

I was stuck on bacon duty

Steph worked on toast, Jeff made a phenom potato dish

It was like I was back in the Kitchen at Jake O'Connor's in Excelsior, except there was very little Spanish spoken and no Cougars to simultaneously flirt and send their food back to the kitchen to have "fixed".

Yum

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I was so excited to get the chance to return to the Midwest for a week, I had two bachelor parties to attend in two different states...in 2 days.
I arrived at the Milwaukee Airport after a brief layover in Kansas City, another part of the world I consider a home.
I followed an old woman onto the plane, as this was a Frontier Flight, there were pictures of two small polar bear cubs on the wingtips and a heartwarming sign upon entering the plane with the same picture reading "Today you'll be flying with Klondike and Snow". The woman glared at the sign in pure horror and approached the flight attendant ahead of us "There are Polar Bears on this flight!?" - honestly.

KC airport

I spent the first couple days hanging with the fam in Wisconsin, swimming in the lake, and just enjoying the freedom of walking on the grass barefoot without stepping on any garbage or needles.
Had a chance to see my dogs, including 4-lb Pomshit (Pomeranian-Shitzu) "Hazel".

Hazel & Steve

We drove out to Madison to see the cousins at the old Reynolds' Lakehouse before getting on a party bus to see the Madison Mallards play ball for the combined Bachelor/Bachelorette party celebrating the soon to be married, Kasey Coatta and Nate Johnson.

The Reynolds cottage

Aunt Jane

Sadie thrilled to see me

Ahh the childhood memories

The stable across the street from Grandma Reynolds' place

Headed for the Duck Pond

Ben "All you can Drink"ing

Me with the Happy couple

Hanging with Kelly & Uncle Buzz

The party was a huge success. And I must give a huge round of applause to the Mallards Ball Club, or any collegiate outfielder for that matter who can focus hard enough to play through a game while being berated by inebriated fans.

We awoke early, ate some breakfast, and then Ben and I were off to Bachelor Party #2 in Minnesota to cheer on our friend's upcoming wedding.

The Cabin

The Lucky Guy

We took the boat out to meet the other guys at a sandbar and that's when the experience began.

Actual police officer, not a stripper

It was incredibly interesting attending two Bachelor parties in Two days.
One of them was handled responsibly and allowed people to have fun in a great atmosphere.
The other was a continual contest of gross-out humor conducted by chimpanzees, "But hey! It's a Bachelor Party, these things have to be expected!"

If that makes you feel better.

===============MEANWHILE BACK IN LA===============
After the trip home, batteries recharged, I was ready to return to LA.
Steph and I were invited to hit up some Karaoke Happy Fun Time in Korea Town with some friends.
A wise decision indeed.
We followed the directions 3 miles down Wilshire, parked on the street, up an elevator, and were instantly transported to Asia.

We approached the hip Korean gal behind the desk who's giggles summoned a bubbly Korean guy with insane hair to appear from the back room. He led us down a narrow corridor past various numbered doors and blackened windows. He paused at door number 8 and opened the door. Inside we found our friends belting out some tunes from a thick binder of music.
The room was decked out with laser lights and the two TVs played crazy music videos the whole time.
It was awesome, A true LA experience.

The Giblins laying down an "A HA" duet

I went with a number by Queen

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Friday was a Big Big Day, Stephanie turned 23! We celebrated by going to Hollywood's Oldest Italian Restaurant, Miceli's.
The Restaurant included all the charm you can expect from an Old Italian Place, topped off with live music and singing waiters.

================================================

Looking forward, Steph's parents will be coming to town soon, it will be great to see them. I can't believe it's been Three months since I saw them last. Crazy!

Again, thanks for the prayers about the upcoming job hunt.
I've considered setting up a booth on Santa Monica Blvd, like the advice booth from Charlie Brown, where I could hand out resumes to people alongside some of the panhandlers there. We'll see how desperate things get.

Till next time!

Stand up Com, Time with mom, and some Cemetery Cinema

2011-05-31T20:25:00.000-07:00

INT. COMEDY CLUB. NIGHT

Bright lights flood a stage in the darkened room of a Comedy Club. A Young Man on stage grips a microphone in one hand and a sheet of paper in the other. We see the man pacing this way and that across the stage reading from his jokes he has scrawled on the scrap of paper. He appears confident, perhaps too confident thanks to the FIVE pints of Stella Artois. He engages in some friendly banter with some of the younger (and less threatening) members of the audience and repeatedly asks the audience "how [they're] feeling tonight". His approach has thus far been unconventional to say the least, firing out a joke (which will almost certainly fall flat) and then cashing in on the laughs by providing a commentary of how the previous joke fell flat. This system, however unplanned, has proven the key to his comedy. As he gains momentum, he fails to realize that he has been on stage far longer that the allotted 7 minutes he was required. Lights begin to flicker in the back of the club, a signal to "wrap it up", unfortunately these lights go unnoticed to the "comedian prodigy" as he launches into yet another endless, albeit charming, story about his frustrations with the workout DVD P90X. The house lights eventually come on as he utters his final thought for the evening.

"So it seems like a guy can't open a yogurt lid in this town without supporting Breast Cancer Awareness....Am i Right?"

"WRAP IT UP!"

"OH! well thanks everyone, have a good night”

It's true. And the bit about the cancer was supposed to be my big moment.

You see, a couple of weeks ago I was checking on the status of my Judge Ross episode release date (like most of you), well THAT whole can of worms has yet to be opened to the public but I saw a posting for a comedy show calling for ACTORS/COMEDIANS, should've just said DANNY/CURTIS.
(*crickets*)
Anyways I checked a box requesting more info on what this was (not a whole lot commanding my attention at the office that day other than nodding at the right places to my 20 year old co-worker describing how hung over she was from a totally crazy weekend yada yada yada). Moments after i checked the box, I received a text message informing me that I had just been signed up for a 7-min slot onstage at a comedy club in North Hollywood...What grave mistake had I just made? I bounced the story off of my roommates and Steph, half jabbing the idea with "what a crazy request, ain't no way I would do that" and half gauging the responses like "dude you should give it a shot". "Psshh no way...you think? I mean it would be pretty funny right, just something to check off the 'ol bucket list." I handled the situation in standard form, procrastinating until the day-of to make a decision.

So I flopped around onstage for 15 minutes, providing fodder for the next 4 comedians "Whaddya think the flashing lights were kid? a Pink Floyd concert?"

BUT also providing some laughs. I was even asked to return to the comedy club the following week to participate in the “newcomers contest”...

Truly surprised

Initialize week recap dream sequence....

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So LAST time I posted about how I had done nothing and life was slowing down in LA. This week Julie Curtis certainly remedied that by providing the busiest 6 days I have had in my time out here.

6 Days with Mom:

Wednesday: Julie arrived, hung out in Westwood and grabbed some coffee, Comedy Club that night.
She made a last minute flight change to arrive a day early to attend my performance, and ultimately convinced me into going through with it.

Thursday: Breakfast at the Grove, made an appearance on EXTRA , Drove out to Santa Monica Pier, Ate at Bubba Gump's Shrimp, saw Bridesmades at the Movie Theater.
We were at "The Grove" outdoor shopping center where they film EXTRA with Latin charmster Mario Lopez. They needed background people to "act interested" in the crowd. We were fish in a barrel by that point.
In an effort to show my mom LA, Steph and I panicked and surrendered to the ultimate touristy Santa Monica Pier, and completely lost all credibility when we dined at Bubba Gump's Shrimp Restaurant.

Easy to "act interested" with this crew...

Hangin at the beach

The Ladies on the Pier

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."

At the Theater

Friday: Julie takes a walk to Westwood, nearly gets run over, Lunch at Emilio's in the Valley, Costco run with cousin Cheryl, Dinner with Steph's landlord Melanie.
Julie narrowly escapes death this morning while taking a seemingly harmless morning walk. She was pressed into a row of hedges and fled for her safety after traffic was stopped to let her pass.

Whipping up some Party-Mash

Steph and Sophia

Steph's Wonderful Landlord Melanie Adler, daughter of the Oscar winning Producer Buddy Adler (From Here to Eternity, South Pacific) and Actress Anita Louise

Cousin Jerry and "Tatti" drop in for dinner, keeping it classy

Saturday: Pet Adoption day at the La Brea Tarpits, Grocery shopping, BBQ at Cheryl's
The La Brea Tarpits were hosting a huge pet adoption with over 700 animals, Steph fled to the Cat Tent, I was into the hounds myself.

Adopt him

BBQ in Hollywood

Juj and Cheryl

Life of the party

Sunday: Church, Brunch at Fiddler's Bistro, Drove out to Topanga for a night of Ping Pong and Banana-grams at cousin Jeanne's house.

Things got heated when Dance Central was turned on the XBOX Kinect. Watching one's own mother "drop it like it's hot" was memorable.

Church...in a theater

Picture from Jeanne's back deck in Topanga

Monday: Hiking in Malibu, Lunch at Paradise Cove, Dinner at Pink's Hot Dog, Drop off Julie at Airport.
In an attempt to wrap up the LA experience, we managed to pack in a hike (complete with waterfall), lunch on the beach, and one of LA's stapled foods. The drop off at the airport came earlier than anyone expected. Bummer.


Thanks for a great week mom!

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And then she was gone (POOF!) and I found myself back in front of the KYOCERA printer at Paramount dealing with another paper jam while trying to send our accountant Nham copies of expense reports from 2008. They're a bit backed up on their paperwork it seems, and I was just the guy to bring them back up to speed.
"Boy do YOU have a fun day ahead of you"
(I had no idea)
When a "run" to STAPLES presented itself, I jumped at the opportunity and raced outside to my car. Ahh but foolish Danny for expressing elation because as I approached my car I soon realized that my front tire was flat...Of course.
Good thing there is a garage on most corners in LA.
Of course with MY car, when it rains...it pours
The mechanic accepted my vehicle as a sort of mobile death trap, informing me that if the tires or failing brakes don't kill me soon, my broken speedometer will.
In an attempt to lighten the mood, I told him about how I was stopped at a red light the other day, but my speedometer told me I was somewhere between 120 and 140mph, odometer spinning like G.D. Top.

ME
"Not great for the re-sale, heh heh am I right?"

HIM
"It would be irresponsible and dangerous to sell this vehicle"

(pause)

ME
"...can you have it ready in an hour?"
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Memorial Weekend was great this year:

Steph and I, sticking with our pledge to "carpe diem the hell out of this city" grabbed some blankets, booze and snacks and headed to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery to watch a showing of Alfred Hitchcock's "VERTIGO". We showed up an hour early to stand in line with hundreds, then thousands of Angelenos. The cemetery itself was the most lavish and over-the-top I have ever seen. Its funny that even in death, the people in this town will do anything for attention, like have 15-foot marble pillars erected over their grave as a sort of billboard, or building above ground tombs that could only cause one to cringe at the thought of what rent must cost, still others decided to flair it up even more by decorating their death plots like outdoor spas or sculpture gardens, with little rock creeks and lanterns and a plaque reminding you that there is a dead guy underneath all of this, may he rest in peace. Many of the graves had pictures of the deceased etched into the headstones like that art that you find at mall-kiosks, where they give you a block of glass and it has a 3D bird made out of bubbles inside, pretty awesome. Aside from the graveyard itself, I think my favorite part was just sitting on a blanket on actual grass, it's hard to come-by in this town.

Snacking while waiting for the gates to open

Some of the "graves"

A bit more modest


	Steph took this photo, she's very proud of it

Life at La Brea, Disney Nights, and the price of a Post-it note

2011-05-16T16:17:00.000-07:00

I'm looking at my notebook where I have outlined topics of my past week to write about.
This is what I have so far.

Danny's week:

stupid job
watched 'Aliens'
?
watched 'Aliens' again

Well that's about it, see you next time.

Okay not true.
This week, despite its sluggishness, has been pretty nice.
As many of you know, I have again resumed residency at the Park La Brea Apartments, and life in 33-9J is great thanks to central AC and wonderful cast (get it? film joke).
The amenities at PLB are great. Nice gated area, three courtyards, my own parking space, gym & pool (parking, gym & pool sold separately) and a couple of cafe's, which are great places for me to, you know, focus on my script writing. That's no joke, I made the mistake of mentioning a "great movie idea" in the presence of my roommates (3 of them are aspiring writers) and found myself in front of a screen, writing out a "beat sheet" organizing storyline and plot development. Yesterday we completed a full 45 step outline of the film and plan on moving into writing the first act this week. This is what you get when you surround yourself with creative minds I suppose. Living in a room full of writers is a lot like living in a perpetual kindergarten. Toys and movies and games and Triscuits sit strewn throughout the living room illuminated with the artificial light of at least 4 ever-glowing computer screens. The conversation in the room typically surrounds movies (go figure) and is usually accompanied by a cacophony of sound effects, usually machine gun fire or the Death Star blowing up,
"But dude, I mean c'mon, there is no oxygen in outer-space, how could the Death Star go up in flames?"
"Are you saying Lucas had it wrong?! Ok he might not write the best dialogue but the guy is a genius, don't talk to me about explosions man, I think it fits."

Steph and I throwing the football in the PLB courtyard

From my bedroom window

Burnside cafe at PLB

Working on my 'writing beard'

BWW's Cinco de Mayo bash

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Living in a gated oasis, separated from the hustle and bustle of the "city life" has thrust me into a living situation experienced my many in LA. Life in a cell. Earlier this week Steph and I took a drive through her neighborhood in Bel Air to see what her rich and famous neighbors were up to on a Saturday morning. We soon realized that unless our heads were on a constant swivel, we weren't going to see much between the cracks in the iron gates and 12-foot hedges. The stress was only further compounded while we spent most of our time driving fast enough to keep Tailgating-Maserati-Slick Haired-Bluetooth-Guy from setting down his exotic coffee drink and laying on the horn. Beautiful Drive.
If you've ever dreamed of coming to LA and taking a Hollywood Stars Tour, save your money. It's like going to the zoo and trying to see every exhibit in 10 minutes but all the animals are asleep in their caves because they're nocturnal. I see those jokers riding around in those re-purposed convertible vans wearing $2 headphones and looking completely miserable.
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Well, while most of the weather around the country seems to improve, LA braces itself to enter "June-gloom". This phenomenon has been explained to me about 5 times so I have received about 5 different stories as to why it happens. Apparently the sky will turn gray and the wind will blow and freeze life and people will hide indoors. I will say that it has been drastically cooling down lately (today is a dismal 55 degrees and partly cloudy). I have unfortunately lost much of my Mid West resilience.
To keep our Spirits high, the roommates have engaged in various weekly rituals, Buffalo Wild Wing Thursdays and Disney Night Mondays have been some of my favorites. We have been watching the classic Disney movies in chronological order (strictly for educational purposes), this Monday is '101 Dalmations'. If you haven't gone back and watched the Disney Classics in a while, do it, your manhood will not be tarnished, at least that's what I've been telling myself.
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Work has been a real kick in the crotch lately.
This past week my job detail included scouring the internet to find a claw-foot bathtub to put in our Executive Producers house
"make sure its either claw foot or free standing, under 65 inches, and under $2000....Oh and it has to be able to be picked up IN LA BY TOMORROW, give me at least 10 different options, I'll be back in 5 minutes to pick up the list".
On Friday I was sent to Staples to pick up a list of supplies for the office, before leaving however I was reminded that if I came back with the wrong Post-It Notes (accordian style) I would come back to find that I no longer had a job (A PA of theirs was fired a few months prior for making that mistake).

Remember: 5-tab, not 3-tab

Now I keep telling myself that if I stick to my guns, do my job, and refrain from violence long enough, I will get noticed and move up in the world. Unfortunately I feel like a promotion at this place would be a death sentence. My career booster strategy happens in 30minute intervals while I attempt to rub shoulders with other people at the Paramount Lot in the cafeteria. It's exhausting. Reality TV has a way of sapping your soul, making you wear skinny jeans, and giving you a taste for coffee that only a chemist would know how to concoct.

Unfortunately there is not a lot of sympathy, this is the industry. It makes sense that in an industry that brings board games to life, people treat their careers like a game of chutes and ladders, meet the right person-climb the ladder, bring back the wrong paperclips - fall down the chute. Some people say that it could take 10 years to become an overnight success, I'll give myself a trophy if I last 10 more days here.
All pity parties aside, it's time to be proactive. My 'projects', and they are legion, have been sitting in garages with flat tires. I have finally received the Nepal footage and have been making outlines and jotting down notes about favorite clips and story structure. The next phase will be scheduling times when we can shoot interviews with the members of the team so we can string this thing together.

In other news, Julie Curtis will be coming to town on Thursday! I'm psyched to hang out with my mom in LA despite her tendency to get sucked into tourist traps and her assumption that every black man on the street is famous.

Steph kickin' it at her place, she says "hi"

A day at the beach, Lunch in Paradise, and Easter Oldies

2011-05-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

America!

There you go home-boys and home-girls, the news is out, Osama Bin Laden has been killed. Now I realize that people do not migrate to this blog to hear about my political ramblings so I will get back to what everyone really wants to hear about, stories about what I did these past two weeks. Before I do however, I WILL express one bummer from this whole development, and that is that nobody at work is going to want to continue talking about the Royal Wedding tomorrow. DANG! I had so much material on those two princess' dress attire at the wedding. Those head pieces? are you serious? Oh well, next time.

Wow it has been a busy two weeks. Things starting out with a bang at Huntington Beach as Steph, Jeff, Trista, and I, made our merry way south to enjoy a fabulous day of fun in the sun. We packed a cooler complete with PB&J Sammies and Smore Pop Tarts, grabbed a football, and searched for a plot on the sand to call our home for the day. This proved to be quite a challenge considering we had to wade through patches of PBR sipping hipsters and oversexed yet low self-esteemed teens (illustrated by the shameless lip-ringed make out sessions and refusal to abandon the comfort of tube socks and Converse tennies on the sand...and is that a long chain connecting to a wallet in those black Jnco's? Pack it up! we're heading down the beach.

(CUE: Insane Clown Posse song and a quick run to Hot Topic for a hilarious tee shirt)

Well we wanted to make the most out of our day, so my roommate Jeff and I decided to rent surf boards and you know, shred for a while before tossin' the ol' pig skin around. What I have realized however, is that I have a wonderful way of oversimplifying the events of a day. The first step was squeezing into the rented wet suit (size medium 'sorry brah, the only size we got left') which smelled like it was recently peeled off a heavyweight in a wrestling match. With my shame fleeting, I zipped into my wet suit in a public beach bathroom (imagine an outdoor prison toilet with sand) and finally emerged, a genuine surfer. Now, since I identified myself as a NOVICE surfer, I was directed to the "I Suck" surfboard rack stocked with 9 foot "safeboards" which were essentially canoes covered in thick, brightly colored, foam. A warning to swimmers that they were in for a real show. The sheer size of the boards were designed so that even the most hefty and nonathletic beach goers could 'catch a wave'. The party ended shortly after entering the water, 45 minutes of kicking and paddling proved to get me nowhere except closer to the beach after being thrashed by every wave that rolled in sending me on a collision course with every fat kid wearing a tee shirt while swimming to salvage their pride.

We called it quits after an hour, my arms were sore for the next three days.

The rest of the day went much smoother, opting to stay on land and show off the football throwing and catching ability of my girlfriend, who I must say went undiscovered in college much to the chagrin of the powder puff football coaching staff, myself included.
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SUNDAY, that is to say the Sunday before Easter, (wow I have not updated this blog in a while) was spent driving North up the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway to all my Midwesterners) to the amazing restaurant-on-the-sand "Paradise Cove". Now I must say that the pretentious name proved fitting. It was a family get together celebrating time with my Wonderful Great Aunt Helen and some of her children (I can't think of the relation, 2nd cousins? 1st cousins once or twice removed?) Helen was out visiting from her home on Torch Lake in Michigan and spent the better part of the afternoon fishing ice out of her Bloody Mary with her fingers and cussing me out for not moving in with my girlfriend. A truly incredible lady. I have realized how lucky I am to have such great family out here, they have made the transition much easier.
Platters of calamari later, feet in the sand at our table, we had an awesome lunch. We were also graced with a sighting of Howie Mandel (Deal or No Deal), who was looking particularly haggard in his denim Affliction jacket, the ladies at his table seemed to be doing all the talking.
After lunch, I struck up a great conversation with two of the women at our table, Michelle and Meredith. Michelle has been involved in a writing program at Warner Brothers Studios for the past few months and is hoping to land a spot as a television writer for a show. Meredith has been a producer for television for a number of years and was regaling me with stories about filming in Hawaii and other exotic places. It was inspiring to hear from people who have been through the ups and downs of the television industry and have come out on top. They gave me some great advice about pursuing a future in the industry and staying focused on what I really want to do, if I could only remember what that was...
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Well the hunt to find Stephanie a new TV finally came to an end a couple of weeks ago. After days of wandering through websites, Target, and Best Buy, and with the guidance and collaboration of many of our "technically savvy friends", Steph decided on an awesome Dynex 32" LED flat screen TV. Oh and did I mention a totally sick Samsung Blue Ray DVD player with wireless internet connect-ability and online apps. Booyah. (Thanks to all the techies, nerds, and geeks, who made this choice possible, Jeff Giblin, Eric Rhode, Ryan Schott, Josh Ford, and Alex at Best Buy). Now I, err Steph, can stream episodes of Dexter directly from Netflix onto the television.
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The Absolute HIGHLIGHT of these past couple weeks was getting the chance to spend Easter in Arizona with Dusty Wahl and Casey Miller last week. Of course the cast would not be complete without mentioning Dusty's sister Callie, Callie's "squeeze" Andy, Char, and Dad-Dale.

Stephanie and I took a beautiful drive from LA through the Palm Springs desert area and eventually ended up in beautiful SURPRISE Arizona. Now if Disneyland is a child's dreamland, then the Sun City Grand retirement community must be the aged equivalent. Hundreds of retirees soaking up the Golden Years ambling this way and that through pottery and Zumba classes at the rec center, and golf carting through the streets just as slow as they damn-well pleased.
We spent much of the 4 days laying out poolside (no kids allowed, huge plus). The desert sun punished our inexperienced skin while the elders basked like seals and took no notice as the sun relayed off their bronzed, brazen leathery hides. Truly, hides. In my delirium I commented that one guy in particular would make for a very nice handbag. Gross but true.

We spent an evening at a casino, where I won $25 on roulette and then promptly lost it at the black jack table. The real joy of that evening was spent before we hit the tables at Yogurtland, totes the best hun-cal-fro-yo.

The real excitement came on Easter morning after a powerhouse sermon by our own Dale Saxon. We tip toed our way out of the chapel so as not to stumble into too many conversations about "Well...Now...My Granddaughter must be about your age" or "Oh well isn't it wonderful to see such young people at church, young people are always texting, too busy asking each other what color shoes they are going to wear" (actual conversation I overheard).
We raced home for some delicious food but FIRST, were treated to the BEST Easter Hunt of my life. Gold Dollar Coins were hidden all throughout the house and so began an every-man-for-himself free-for-all. All the classic symptoms of a traditional Easter Egg Hunt were present; excitement, focus, determination, greed, cheating, selfishness, and possibly some pouting from those who couldn't seem to find any coins (my situation until I hit a gold mine in the laundry room).

All in all it was an awesome trip. Thank You Char and Dale for opening your home up to us, you guys are the best! Can't wait to take you up on your polite invitation to visit anytime, that hammock is screaming my name.

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Daniel Curtis: PA

Well work has been keeping me busy lately, I guess that's not all bad but last week I had the privilege of driving a massive moving truck all over LA in an attempt to optimize our office by snatching up free furniture from various production companies. As if driving in LA doesn't by itself cause stress, now I was driving down Sunset Blvd in a vehicle larger than my apartment. I was dreading the task but soon realized that I was king of the road, like a large boulder in a stream, the current of cars seemed to continue to flow around me, I was free to drive as slow as I wanted. The other nice thing was that I was able to SEE a lot more of the city from my new propped vantage point.

There was something calming about cruising ABOVE the rest of the LA traffic. I even found myself getting cocky, I turned up the radio, rolled down the windows and would even give a little head nod to passing truckers, as if I was a seasoned vet. Unfortunately truckers (at least other moving truck truckers) don't share the same sort of bond that motorcyclists do, where they give a little wave when they pass each other. One guy just rolled up his window. Whatevs.
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Other big news..... My roommates and I have officially and finally moved! (soon to be 'FB official'). So for all of you who need to know where to send care packages, *wink wink, but seriously.

Send them to 360 S Burnside Ave, Apt 9J, Los Angeles, CA 90036

This marks my return to Park La Brea, but more importantly, to the same building I lived in when I was here in 2009! It's good to be back.

Other notable moments of late...

I purchased some "Slim fit" jeans from target, I will be returning them soon.

I made a pot of coffee the other day with no pot. Disaster.

Guinea Pigs, Minneangeles, and a Nepal Reflection

2011-04-12T18:19:00.000-07:00

INT. DAY. COURTROOM

THE VENERABLE AND NO NONSENSE JUDGE ROSS GLIDES INTO THE COURTROOM. HE PEERS OUT OVER HIS PODIUM AT HIS NEXT CASE AND TAKES HIS SEAT AFTER SITTING THE REST OF THE COURT. AT THE PLAINTIFFS' PODIUM STANDS A 23 YEAR OLD MAN DOING HIS BEST TO LOOK OLDER AND APPEAR MARRIED TO HIS WIFE WHO HE HAS JUST DISCOVERED IS A "PSYCHIC MEDIUM" WHEN SHE'S NOT AUDITIONING FOR COURTROOM DRAMAS. SWEAT PERMEATES THROUGH THE PLAINTIFFS' SHIRT AS HE PREPARES TO SPEAK.

Me: Your honor, my wife and I had just moved into our dream house. The previous owner took us around for a tour and shared all the great memories she had in the house, we thought we were getting a great deal. Three weeks into the move however we began to notice a smell. We assumed we must have had an issue with our plumbing, but the plumber assured us that there was nothing wrong. He "did" however mention that he could hear a "squeeking" coming from the walls.

Judge Ross: Excuse me, did you say "Squeeking"?

Me: Yes your honor, you see, what our previous owner did not tell us was that she was a guinea pig breeder. Apparently when she moved out, she left behind some of her "precious little friends" and they found their way into our walls.

Judge Ross: Oh that's just nasty!

>CUE AUDIENCE LAUGHTER<

Me: It is your honor. Anyways...

Judge Ross: Guinea Pigs!? Nasty!

>MORE LAUGHTER<

Me: ...Right, yeah it's disgusting... So anyways we are here today to sue Miss Michaels, the previous owner, for $8,300...

INT. COURTROOM. SAME DAY
JUDGE ROSS GROWS EVER EXCITED AND WEARY AND DISGUSTED AS HE LISTENS TO THE TALE OF THE GUINEA PIG INFESTED WALLS. IN THE END HOWEVER HE RULES IN FAVOR OF THE DEFENDANT AFTER DELIVERING WHAT HE MUST HAVE THOUGHT WAS HIS EMMY AWARD WINNING "BRO-OUT MOMENT" WITH THE PLAINTIFF, OFFERING HIS CONDOLENCES BUT STICKING TO HIS "TOUGH LOVE" MANTRA BECAUSE THE PLAINTIFFS NEGATED A HOME INSPECTION. BOGUS, THAT WASN'T IN THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT. A BIT OF JUDGE ROSS' CREATIVE FLAIR THAT HE PITCHED TO THE PRODUCERS MOMENTS BEFORE. THE BASTARD.

Preparing to 'throw the book' at me

So we lost.
But it was the greatest $50 I have ever made.

Allow me to back-track a bit and explain how I got to "the stand" in the first place.

I stumbled upon an audition (on Craigslist no less) to be an EXTRA (sit in the audience) on America's Court with Judge Ross. I was psyched. I thought "hey, this will be great!" Crazy people coming in and suing each other right before my eyes. So I went to the audition, the attire called for 'business professional' so I grabbed whatever I could find and drove out to the studio, there on the street was a huge line of what appeared to be lawyers. My day had just begun. These people were, of course, background actors and O. M. G! they are the craziest bunch of carnival folk LA has to offer. Think Crazy American Idol Contestants that you can't get rid of after just one try-out. These people are serious about their craft.


Walking into the Studio with the other Judge Ross hopefuls

Upon entering the Studio, I noticed a large circle of people, there was a producer standing in the middle, pointing at different people and having them rattle off lines about the case that they were discussing. I stood amazed as various groups of "30 something white business type males" tried to evict "20 something grungy white females" from their apartments. Likewise I witnessed pairs of "25-35 year old black females (attitude a plus)" argue over the winnings of a lottery ticket. What I soon realized was that, I had been duped this whole time. All those Tuesday afternoons of watching Judge Judy and feeling good about my situation by comparing it to the crazy people I saw in the courtrooms all got washed away. They have been actors this whole time. What was worse is that I was about to become the brunt of my own joke.

Circle of people for their 'on the spot' auditions

I soon joined such a circle and, after hearing a brief description of the case, launched into a plea about how my wife and I were wronged by this woman and her guinea pigs. The next thing I knew, I was filling out paperwork alongside my "wife"; a late 20's-early 30's New Yorker who spends her days as a psychic medium, she even offered me a free spiritual healing, I told her I was feeling ok for the time-being but would save her offer for a rainy day, the other was a "Late 40's - Early 50's white female from Florida who spends her days in a "Positive Pop-Rock Band called 'Saint Tone'".
They were great.
Two days later...History was made. The producers told us that the show will appear on their website in the next 6-8 weeks, so you'll just have to sit tight and be patient.

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In Anticipation for my new-found-fame (in courtroom circles at least) I sought out a group of Minnesotans living in the LA area to start building my entourage. I was directed to a facebook group called 'Minneangeles' which seemed to be the answer to my search. Once a month, a group of native Minnesotans who now work in LA get together to bowl. I threw on my Chris Kluwe Vikings jersey and Steph and I hopped in the car and headed to Korea town to hit the lanes with Mid-West peeps. We had a blast! (it felt good to use that expression, apparently a dead giveaway that you are from MN).

We played a great game while we were there:
Each person throws in $2, You and partner (chosen at random) bowl for spares and strikes to try to build the best 5 card poker hand. Draw 2 cards if you get a strike, 1 card for a Spare, only 5 cards can remain in your hand. At the end of the game, the team with the best poker hand wins the pot. My partner and I scraped together a measly pair of 8's with an Ace kicker. We got destroyed. Fun times none the less.
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I have been thinking a lot about the Nepal trip recently. As far as the project is concerned, the footage transfer will soon be coming to an end and we will be able to enter the next exciting phase which will be sifting through all the footage, this will be quite the task as it is riddled with shaky and out-of-focus camera work by my part at times. I am confident that we will have what we need. Enough to make it count.

Per request, here is a bit more of a detailed outline of what our trip looked like.

As a team, we set out to make a film that would act as a promotional tool for Peak Performance, as well as something that could further uncover the issues that many of the Nepali people.

We started our trip in Kathmandu, Nepal's capital city, visiting the various religious temples, and spending time with shop owners and hearing their stories.

Garbage filled Rivers

Kathmandu

Buddhist Stupa

Young Monks in front of spinning Prayer Wheels

We spent a week in the beautiful country village called Pokhara, in the foothills of the Himalaya. During our stay there, we visited a couple Tibetan refuge camps, as well as spent time in the homes of many Nepali people we struck up relationships with there, one day we even got the opportunity to go paragliding! It was incredible, flying on a parachute 9,000ft above the ground, an experience that I may have opted out on if I would've thought about it any longer, but snap decisions sometimes reap benefits.

Lake in Pokhara

Fishtail from our hotel

Paragliding

Some landings were smoother than others

After Pokhara we went trekking and headed up in the mountain village Ghandruk. Settled at 8,500ft elevation, it is a popular starting point for trekkers who are aimed at tackling the 6 day hike to the Annapurna base camp, which ends at 15,000ft elevation. In Ghandruk we stayed at a hotel with a beautiful view of the Himalayan mountains all around us. It was quite a site to see the clouds roll in throughout the day and fill the canyon ahead of us.

Our Ghandruk Friends

On our way back through to Kathmandu, we had the opportunity to visit Everest Fashions, a clothing factory that employs women from the community to make clothes for them, among other things. Everest Fashions is dedicated to providing sanitary working conditions and good wages to its employees. I was very impressed with the operation there, it was the nicest work environment I saw in Nepal.

Everest Fashions

Women making various items for Everest

Women working from home knitting Ambler hats

Everyone should buy an Ambler hat

We also had the opportunity to visit a Leper colony while we were there, that was one of my favorite experiences from the trip. We had the chance to sit with people who had suffered from the effects of leprosy and hear there stories, so interesting to hear about the disease from an Eastern perspective, where it had largely been dismissed as a curse rather than a medical problem. All in all it was a very rewarding trip and I was blessed to see and hear so many interesting stories.

Hangin with kids at school

Me and Dusty Chillin in Ghandruk


Me and the wonderful Rita, our translator/cynic

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Whew!

That's Wassup, Other notable stories from the week:

- Steph and I stood behind Gene Simmons and his family at the movie theater, I played it very cool by not overreacting, we even shared a "sheesh" moment when the ticket girl forbade his family to pass because they were supposed to go through a "special entrance", he didn't think it was necessary but she insisted. He looked back, I threw him a sympathizing head shake and he tossed me a "sigh". Good moment.

Old friends, Turkey legs, and plenty of April fools

2011-04-03T15:06:00.000-07:00

Happy April - fools!

My mind is a bit divided as I write today. A moment ago I thought I might fry myself up a delicious egg and cheese omelet (an "omelette" would of course refer to a non-American omelet according to Dictionary.com). Anyhoo, I was starting to get into a real groove, cracking the eggs, monitoring the coffee maker, cutting up some peppers. I thought I might try one of those omelet flip moves you see on tv, so I grabbed the frying pan and !!!SSSSZZZZZZZ!!! - in my haste I had "choked up" on the pan handle a bit too far, past the protective grip, and received quite the burn on the webbing between some fingers. The omelet sat scorching unattended on the burner as I addressed my wound. What I ended up eating was more like a hockey puck than an omelet, but spite builds quite the appetite, so I finished it.

Well April fools was certainly an experience in LA. I found myself strolling through Westwood, trying to kill some time while Stephanie was off taking a Nursing quiz - I swear that's all nurses ever do. I crossed the street and was instantly berated by a woman in complete renaissance attire (which didn't seem that unusual in LA, just the other day Steph geared my attention to a man standing on the side of Sunset Blvd who was wearing a mesh shirt, holding a purse, and flipping off the cars that went by, all while balancing a huge black bag of garbage on his head.) I tried to just play it cool and keep my course until I heard something about a FREE turkey leg. She was promoting the season premiere of CAMELOT on STARZ, hence the attire, I accepted her offer and was directed to the trailer where King Arthur himself was frying up Turkey legs. I took my prize on the condition that I promised to watch the show that evening on the tv I don't own. He sweetened the deal by assuring me "dude you're gonna love it, this isn't your mother's CAMELOT, it's edgier...sexier". Sexier hmmm, not according to the strung out World of Warcraft nerd plastered on the side of the trailer, but I'll take your word for it.

Well lately I have been reconnecting with some friends I haven't seen since my time in LA back in 2009 when I attended the Los Angeles Film Studies Center. Last night I attended the LAFSC's 20-year reunion party and saw some peeps from my semester as well as a plethora of alumni dating back to 1991. It was inspiring to see all the people that have migrated from small Christian colleges from around the country and are now firmly planted in Hollywood, many of whom have worked on some incredible films over their careers. One man spoke about how as Christian film makers, our intention is not to create "nice films that make nice people nicer" but rather to "fully engage in today's culture through a Christian lens". He went on to discuss the importance of meeting people on "their" level, creating characters that can relate. Interesting stuff.

LA continues to amaze me. People out here seem to be constantly moving, ever-involved, and excited to extend a hand. The city itself can become ensnaring if its not properly medicated with a once-a-week trip to the mountains or beach, which Stephanie and I have been diligent about doing.

This week I have an audition to be an extra on "America's Court", can't wait to see what that will be like. People watching opportunity of the year.

Other notes:
I've been attending a church on Hollywood Blvd called Ecclesia - It's wonderful
Thanks to Brian and Jenny Kraft for hanging with me the other week, Great times
My apologies to the Schott family for riddling your Netflix account with strange films.

-Danny

From Kathmandu to Gary Busey

2011-03-31T17:26:00.000-07:00

Hello one and all!
Welcome to my new blog Life Among Limes, the new hot spot where you can catch up on the "Danny Curtis latest".
Let us Begin.

I arrived back to the US from Nepal sometime last week. We set out to film a documentary that followed the Ministry of Scott Brown and Peak Performance. While we were there we saw Beautiful mountains, Garbage filled rivers, Monkey temples, One-room churches, Burning bodies, Glue huffing 9 year-olds, Shabby Government Schools, Beautiful Boarding School, Leprosy colonies, Dhal Bat, She-boys, Ghurka Knives, Ambler Hats, and Jesus Christ. We gathered 20+ hours of footage that is currently being loaded on to computers, a process that will likely take a week to complete before the editing can begin. I am thrilled about what we were able to capture and am excited to see what can be used from the footage.

Since the Nepal trip I have Officially and Successfully made the move from St. Paul to Los Angeles where I have been attempting to find work in "the industry" to whatever capacity I can manage, as well as salvage most of my integrity.

So far LA has been every bit as wonderful and crazy as I remember from my time here in 2009. I have begun work as a Production Assistant (PA) at a reality television production company at the Paramount Pictures lot. Sounds glamorous right? Well essentially PA's are slaves to Assistants and Producers, we're "gophers" or "errand-boys/girls". A rag-tag group of coffee-running, email-sending, paper-filing, phone-answering, research-gathering recent film grads with high hopes of someday "totally wanting to be like a producer/director or something, maybe even a writer". For me, it has been a way to make a little money while taking an investigative look into the wacky world of the film industry. And after just two days on the lot, I have been forced to write some of this stuff down. It's like watching a movie or something.

Paramount Celeb Sighting-
I had just finished cutting out life-sized styrofoam "Barrel of Monkeys" monkeys for this game show I have been helping out with. Naturally. As I was hustling them to the studio I passed Wayne Brady giving his Assistant an EAR FULL in the alley next to our office. It was excellent. Also, this in no way tarnishes my perception of Wayne Brady, I'd be pissed too if I was hosting a game show where the audience dresses up in costumes and dances all day.

Oh and the Gary Busey reference was that earlier today in Beverly Hills I saw Gary Busey drive by in a sweet convertible wearing a tie dye shirt and some sleek shades, That guys' teeth HAVE to be fake.