A few weeks back I was joking that 2% of my 2009 has been spent explaining to people what Twitter is. After a recent trip home, that is probably closer to 4%. Thank God for Common Craft and their video explaining Twitter.

Friends and family, see below.

Twitter in Plain English from leelefever on Vimeo.

If you haven’t seen this yet, prepare to be amazed. A few geniuses figured out how to anayze blood and detect diseases with a cell phone. It sounds like it’s a rather quick and inexpensive way to save lives and educate people in rural areas about disease. The obvious use case is volunteers in Africa testing and identifying sick people in tiny villages without having to send blood samples into a lab and wait for weeks or even months.

This will save millions of lives and billions of dollars if it works as promised.

Here is the amazing part.

These scientists that probably worked for years towards this device totally mailed it in on the final yard. The device is supposedly called the LUCAS imager which stands for, Lensfree Ultrawide-field Cell-monitoring Array platform based on Shadow imaging. Who do you think you’re kidding? The LUCAS?

Don’t you mean the LFUFCMAPBOSI?

I don’t care if you cure cancer, save global warming and win the superbowl, you can’t skip 7 words because they don’t fit in your acronym. An of, a or the – ok fine. This is the USA after all, but this is a Field Monitoring Platform Based on Imaging. Show some fucking respect.

Do you guys really think that an African village wants to be saved by cheaters – that probably sucks at scrabble?

I re-found Woot for the second time recently, and came to the discovery that they now have shirt woot and wine woot. I may actually by something from them this time around.

I’m writing this post because of the marketing email that woot just sent me. When was the last time you heard that – someone writing a positive post about a marketing email?

Here’s why.

BREAKING: Economists declare water 50% wet.

Attention, mikesabat:

Welcome to Woot’s first official recession-era newsletter! For the next 12 to 24 months, all citizens are expected to fret over, worry about, or even directly experience the nadir of a consumerist society – OMG! What will we do when we stop buying stuff? Economists now agree that we’re headed through a prolonged period of decreased consumer spending (you really need an advanced degree to come up with insights like that). Beyond that, it’s anybody guess. Will the only growth sectors in the economy be shoe repair, pipe salvage, and roadside apple sales? Or will we bring on a quick recovery by doing patriotic things like buying stuff we can’t afford and spending more money than we make?

As a retailer, it’d make sense for us to fall in with the BUY STUFF, AMERICA conga line. But by now, you know that we at Woot never do things the “normal”, “sensible”, “rational”, “intelligent” way. We’re not about to follow the herd over a cliff. When we go over a cliff, it’s because of our own poor judgment, not someone else’s. That’s been our credo since about five minutes ago, when we first thought of it. And we’ve stayed true to it ever since.

That’s why we’re encouraging you and your fellow wooters to save this holiday season. Save your money! Save until you pull a saving muscle. Horde your money until you are literally choking on it. Save until maybe, like, mid-February or so, when the market will be a-glut with great deals for the taking every day. You’ll avoid the crowds, take advantage of desperate retailers, and not have to hear “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time” even once.

Sure, maybe you’ll disappoint some of your loved ones. But if they really love you, they can wait a couple of months, especially if your finances are at stake. Besides, if your so-called loved ones wanted you to set yourself on fire, would you? Of course you wouldn’t. And that’s the kind of independent thinking that will one day break the mindless conformity of our consumerist holiday ways.

But be warned: you’ll want to stay far away from Woot.com this week. The breadth and scope of bargains we’ll be offering – especially starting Tuesday morning at midnight – will be powerfully tempting. They could even lead you back down the spend-spend-spend path with the rest of the sheep. And that would make us sad enough to cry while we’re taking your money.

See you in February!

Woot.com

I’m listening to Barack Obama’s first book about his life and race. It’s amazing. But what seems more interesting is the timing of the book. The book was released in 2004 – before Barack had done much of anything (relatively). The way that Barack looks at his life and family is inspiring. Most of all it’s got me thinking about my own biography, written not necissarily for others, but for myself.

There is so much in my life unrecorded and half forgotten and now seems like a good time to regroup and write it down. On that note I’d like to take a look back to remember some stories, notice a few patterns and hopefully impress myself with my memory and the journey so far.

Here is the first stab at some of the chapters.

• Garfield – the context of my childhood
• My parents before me
• Zinner Grandparents
• Grandma Sabat
• Grandpa Sabat
• Moving
• Still Friends – starting to make lifelong friends
• Moving forward/separating – going to Miami
• Floating after College
• GAC
• Saturns Return
• Floating in New York
• Finding a Mission

That’s all for now.

I’m obviously getting better at this, starting off this week in the black for the first time up $250.

CHIEFS (+9) over Titans $150
From now on I am always taking home underdogs with a spread over 5.

Cowboys (-7) over RAMS $250
Except this time. Romo may still play. His backup won a superbowl and the rest of this team is going to step up. The Rams played one good game – they are as close to a comeback as the US economy.

Steelers (-9.5) over BENGALS $250

and this time. I am going against my gut here. The Bengals are horrible, but they have at least kept things close. This is a division game… which is exactly why I am taking the steelers. Pittsbutgh has the leadership that won a super bowl and they are going to step up and try to fill the vacuum at the top of the AFC.

TEXANS (-9.5) over Lions $250

Is this the first time that a 1-4 team is almost a 10 point favorite? Honestly how the fuck is this possible? Maybe this is the week that Steve Slaton goes ridiculous with 180 yds and 3 touchdowns. But I’m definitely glad this isn’t real money.

Browns (+7.5) over REDSKINS $300
Is Cleveland really back?

Broncos (+3.5) over PATRIOTS $400

Everyone should still be gunning for the Patriots even though they didn’t win it, and this isn’t really the Patriots. That shouldn’t stock the AFC for punishing the former elite.

Wow, you know its been a rough week at work when I’m writing the Monday blog post on Saturday night. I at least want to keep up with the scoring. (published late)

Colts (-3.5) over TEXANS $250
Colts won by 4. I’m down $50.

Bears (-3.5) over LIONS $250
Plus $200 – feels great

GIANTS (-7.5) over Seahawks $250
I have to start betting for real. Only 2 weeks in – I need to find a bookie immediately. Is that how you spell bookie?

Patriots (-3.5) over NINERS $250

Do you know who the fuck I am?  I’m up $700

Bengals (+17) over COWBOYS $150
Always take Cincinnati and 15 or more points. That’s my new motto. +850

Bills (+1) over CARDS $500
huh. $350 isn’t bad.

SAINTS (-3.5) over Vikings$100

$250 is decent.

In the black.

Now 10 years is just the right time to take over the world.

Think about google when you’re making plans for the next few months, year or even a decade. It’s amazing what can be accomplished in 10 years.

Alright, I’m starting this week down $300. Luckily the stock market is doing well I think. Although I havent checked in a few weeks.

Colts (-3.5) over TEXANS $250
Given the same situation in a few weeks I may pick this differently, but I’m still a believer that Peyton Manning will make Indy work again. Plus they are coming off a bye week.

Bears (-3.5) over LIONS $250

They fired Matt Millen basically acknowledging what everyone knew – they’ve had horrible management for the last 5(?) years. This is going to take some time to turn around. I don’t know if Ford Field actually counts as home field advantage.

GIANTS (-7.5) over Seahawks $250
The Giants are undefeated, coming off a bye, playing at home and they know that every game counts in the NFC East.

Patriots (-3.5) over NINERS $250
I know that that I’m supposed to take home underdogs against the spread, but this is still the Patriots. Even though they don’t have Tom Brady, even though the Dolphins killed them, this is still the (mostly) the team that went 16-0 last year. Bill Belicheck is still the coach. And the 49ers are still the team that went 5-11 last year.

Bengals (+17) over COWBOYS $150

The Bengals are horrible, but 2 weeks ago they went to overtime against the Giants in New York. Carson Palmer is back, and this is only the 5th game so it’s not like everyone in Cincinnati has thrown in the towel.

Bills (+1) over CARDS $500

Have you ever been to the Cardinals stadium? It’s like a shopping mall – it doesn’t feel real. It just makes me feel like Arizona is a soft team. Buffalo needs to keep proving itself and I don’t think they are going to let up now when they have a bye next week. Did anyone see how Arizona imploded in the first half against NY last week?

SAINTS (-3.5) over Vikings$100

The Saints can put up points quickly and the Viking can’t. I don’t see this game close with the saints at home.

Gotta admit that I’m feeling most of these games this week.

You decide.