life and things

2014-06-15T13:20:00.000-07:00

A.The world is a lonely place.if you look beyond all the noise,merrymaking and glee.beyond the faces of people who seem to have everything.beyond their ice walls and facades.you will see it.a haunted look.a cry from a soul languishing in a myriad of problems.we all have them in our irises.blue black,brown.i looked inside me and it made so much sense.the futilty of it all.vanity of vanity says the ecclesiastecal preacher.all is vanity.from the rising of the sun,all you put an effort to,all you work to accumulate.vanity.the friends you strive to do for in a bid to keep.the love that seems far beyond reach.i have seen this lonliness.i have experienced it.at every point,i feel one more thing i add to myself will cause happiness to abound.but no.it does nothing to solve it.is it lack of someone to share with?that special someone who shares ur breaths,to whom u are most important in the world?have u found him?pray tell me where.and how does it feel?for after u find that person.they become a possession.sooner than one fall out,you search for more fulfilm

The marriage problem in Nigeria

2014-06-15T03:20:00.001-07:00

No kidding.
Are they actually giving presents to men who gave children out in marriage this year ?
This is how we are celebrating fathers day?
I absolutely cannot believe this.
I am almost in tears.
So this means I have to marry fast so my father can be given a gift in church.

How bad can this really get ?
I mean, the pressure from outsiders is not enough but now we have to deal with pressure in church ?
I feel like a failure sometimes
I'm not going to lie about this.
Somehow despite all I've achieved I feel like I haven't done a thing because I'm not married.
In my heart, I know God's time is definitely coming for me but I don't understand how this has become such an issue that the church has started doing things like this.

Once you appear to be of reproductive age, you are besieged with all sorts of questions about when you are getting married.

Varied forms like-
'Where is he'
When are we coming to eat rice ?
When will we eat cake
We want to dance
Ah, when are you giving us asoebi
THEN,
Why are you driving all the men away?
So you mean to tell me you have no boyfriend?

People look at your fingers before addressing you.
At work people feel they can talk to you anyway they choose because you are single.
Yesterday at work a nurse said this to me-

' You are a small child
I have a child older than you so you listen to me when I'm talking '
She came into my call room to say this.
And I'm wondering ???
They snort behind your back, make faces and say all sorts of things.
If I' had grown up or schooled here they would be peddling stories by now.

My parents pray day and night for a husband for me it sometimes irks me
I have no other desire save to be married and successful but the way they are probably embarrassed daily has pushed them to continuously push at heavens gate asking for a life partner.

Someday I'll get married but until then,
What really is this embarrassment in church ?
This is why I always sit behind at the back of the church and keep a low profile.
Marry I will, when the time comes by the Grace of God.

What do you miss ?

2014-06-15T00:03:00.001-07:00

I've often spoken about things people miss when relationships end or friendships have gone awry.
I've often wondered about it far more than I've spoken about it.
If you've ever really gotten along well with someone and experienced that bond you'll understand this.

'Friendship'

How it feels when someone understands you
Completes you.
Converses for hours
Never judges
Never undermines
Always has your best interests at heart.

Friendship is what I miss most.
Knowing you've got my back.
Talking endlessly about meaningful and meaningless
Sharing stories
Judging the world but not ourselves.
Thoughtful actions.
Yes, I miss our friendship.
The longest I've had.
The most insightful
The ways I learnt
That this indeed is how God loves.
Yes, I miss friendship.
That's what matters most.

Xoxo

Overbites, underbites and what people do when they break up

2014-06-14T15:55:00.001-07:00

Very few people have reaLly perfect teeth.
Even those with seemingly perfect whites when close up have some sort of malocclusion or the other ?
Who really has it going I'm wondering ?
So you know they say when you lose something big like maybe you go through a major breakup those are the times when you sit back and do stuff you've always wanted to.
There's something inside us all that makes us want to better ourselves when life hits us with a situation that makes us doubt the very essence of what or whom we are.
This is probably why people lose weight when they end a relationship.
Or gain weight
Take up a new habit
Start some new business
Start blogging
And so on and so forth.

So I was looking on instagram today and saw this beautiful lady who got maRried and her makeup was done by jideofstola.
That's what spurred the malocclusion story.
She had perfect white teeth.
Then I noticed the slight overbite on the right.
Wearing these braces has somewhat made me into an orthodontist of some sort.
Anyway, she's a pretty girl and that just got me thinking overbites, underbites.
This is just the life I'm living now.
Today I wear my class 3 elastics, tomorrow I don't.
The pain is awesome when I do.
There's no space on my bottom jaw for the teeth to go anywhere so they are pushing my 2nd molars into a buccal rotation.
I forsee a tooth extraction in my near future
I had one before and it was excruciatingly painful.
Let's see what the future really does hold.

Braces and orthodontics

2014-06-13T07:34:00.001-07:00

I started wearing braces in 2013 december.
I woke up and realised I could actually do it.
So I decided to go do something about my malocclusion.
Yes I was pretty with it but it was getting worse.
Off I went to LUTH.
I was introduced to a fine intelligent dentist who got me on my way to a beautiful set of pearly whites.
We aren't there yet but it's frustrating in it's own way.
Nothing good comes easy they say.
One thing I didn't anticipate was all the pain I would have to bear.
Imagine having that pain of a toothache every other week.
Complete with headaches and what not.
Sometimes I feel frustrated like I'm probably not going to end up with what I desire but somehow I keep encouraging myself to trudge on.
People ask me questions all the time.
From the very ignorant most especially
'Aren't you slim enough ? Why have you tied your teeth'
'What's wrong with you, why are you talking somehow'
'I like your teeth, they're so fashionable, you don't have anything to do with money again'
'I feel sorry for you. You are really suffering'

I'm more likely to sympathise with the last lot than all the others.
Yes.
It's like a punishment.
But it's working.
I'm six months in and sometimes I really want to yank everything off.
Just that I've invested a lot and I don't want to give up so easily.

2012-03-23T10:42:00.000-07:00

Things I have learnt about marriage-
It is not about how fast but that good things will always come to those who wait and do so patiently.
I will never want to end up with someone I am not comfortable with
I want to be happy and I want God to be the king of my home
I must must must marry someone who loves God.
The things of my past should never be allowed to affect my future
I must always give people time to show how much they really care about me in order to avoid doubt in future
because i will never stop doubting.
people always claim to love u and then do the most horrid and hurtful things u could ever imagine.

update

2012-03-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

worked on the blog today. made it completely private so as usual i have to add you before you can read anything here im preparing for my 4th west africa primaries and my 3rd attempt at national. i certainly am more clever now although i get tired very often and im thinking a lot more about what i'm doing with the my life right now.love wise, work wise i shall pass. this too, shall pass. cheers

here is where i am.

2011-11-24T13:09:00.000-08:00

Do you know how it feels to be surrounded by people who do not desire you?
Like people you could give a pass and say oh,I could be with so and so.
It wouldn't be bad if so and so and I were together it could work
And those same so so don't think same about u
Absolutely horrid condition.
I don't think it best for anyone least of all me
But it so happens that people like that still exist in my life
People like P who has a girlfriend but I barely speak with him anymore
So it just gets me thinking sometimes
What do I do?
Stop talking to these guys completely ?
Continue in a facade
And so on I continued when I would rather be in the true arms of someone who really wanted to be with me
Love and cherish me
Each passing day makes it seem so unattainable and so surreal
Like something bound for everyone but not me
Somehow I still believe God..
If only I could make my belief stronger
My resolve firmer and stay strong and certain that it would happen for me
Yes..sometimes it just seems that whatever it is that gets other people married and stuff is just lacking in me.
I mean,I haven't a boyfriend
Is there a problem or just a situation of plain missed opportunity
I know there are people who are willing to be with me but they just don't cut it
I can't want them or attempt to be with them
Tried dating O..we went on two dates.
It was just way off.
Didn't fit in
Didn't gel.

this is it

2009-04-24T02:20:00.000-07:00

the ultimate....or is it?the life?or is it?
the what like everything.
anyone looking to find a reason to live,ask me...
i got all the answers or i'll at least try figure it out for you.
yeah yeah.....where do we start out?
our fav topic shall be the humans who make up this existence in which we all are.
then we shall reverence the one and only almighty maker.
so ,i shall tell you a thing or two today....
one-before u trust somone,let there be some evidence in your heart of a thing done to deserve that trust
two-a person who does no talking may not be so dumb after all.