Life as a Harris

Meltdowns and Mama's Day Out

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 05:48:00 +0000

Quite possibly the worst days I have lived through happened this past Tuesday and Wednesday. My mental state, or lack thereof, was so torn down that now, looking back, I honestly don't remember some of last week!

Sure, I have all the head knowledge needed to push through a rough patch or find things to be thankful for. But when it comes down to the nitty gritty, emotions that are borderline depressing and a state of mental isolation are a terrible combination. So head knowledge is sometimes useless in crisis. Why? Because the head isn't working correctly! I was unbalanced and my mind was a wreck. There was no thinking straight! I had to find that place in my heart that was ready to surrender. And this came through tears.

WJ witnessed my meltdown. It came late Wednesday night. Now, WJ is my husband. He is strength and calm and all things moderate. However, I tend to put him in a savior category. To think this is unfulfilling for me and unfair to him. I realized these last few days that he is not the one who can totally free me and make it all better. Sure he is amazing and can totally comfort my crazy, but he is not my all in all. He's my partner. And I am forever grateful for this. But I had to get away by myself a few hours yesterday and figure a few things out.

I had to begin this healing process from within. Well first I had to exhale and begin normal breathing again. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me find balance in Christ. I beckoned for Him to balance my mind and steady my heart. This is going to take a while. Day by day. Balance is priceless. It is the life blood of a functional household and a crazy mama!

So after a beautiful day out, I found myself with the ability to think about the positive aspects of our lives; to look back and see where we have been with more clarity and appreciation. I was no longer allowing bitterness the opportunity to take root, like it had tried to do so many times the last few months. Correction, years. The raw reality of a negative mindset is not having a hopeful focus.

After my time alone and later with a few key people who could speak life into my bones, WJ and I spent most of the weekend together. No work, no other obligations but to be with each other and the children. We have had some of the most valuable, thought provoking conversations. We were able to focus on the path we want to see our family fulfill. We were able to realign our current goals. And we were able to discuss possibility. That is a powerful word. POSSIBILITY.

This is Goose standing on the land we are about to purchase. We close the end of the month. POSSIBILITY!!

I knew last week I could not continue without a break to refresh and re focus. I am so grateful for other family and friends who stepped in and gave me this opportunity to run away and regroup! They will never know how crucial it was to break free a bit.

I am also very relieved that Christ delights in me, weakness and all. And he has given me a wonderful man who's love is unconditional and provision immeasurable. He is a reflection of Gods mercy and grace in my life.

From out of the ashes a beautiful thing was once again planted within my spirit. Hope. My tears began this healing process... the possibility of living these last few weeks of transition in a more calm state of mind. It's never easy with "littles" but BALANCE is key. ( More on that at a later time. )

Crazy is O.K.

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Thu, 17 Jul 2014 18:00:00 +0000

A few weeks ago, while Goose and Prissy were in summer ballet camp, I met a few other moms. At first glance, I was very intimidated. Thinking I was the only mom who didn't have life with littles figured out. However, as we shared with each other for one hour a day, four days that week, we all realized, "Thank God! We are not crazy."

No, we are the new normal.

We shared our anxieties, that of late had left us battling a crazy version of ourselves. We concluded, of course, the reasoning: sleep deprivation, teething babies, homeschoolers who didn't want to do school, middle child syndrome. And on, and on, and on...

After that week, I was so grateful for a simple decision to break from my normal and take the girls to ballet. The best gift I've received in a long time came in meeting these three women. Homeschool moms with littles. Each feeling unhealthy, crazy; and with a twisted sense of happy, we were all so grateful for each other. I saw this as the olive beach God had for me as he chuckled at my realization that "crazy is ok".

Motherhood. Redefined.

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Sat, 01 Mar 2014 17:37:00 +0000

There are moments that redefine our very existence. Having my third child was one of those moments. I knew having three children was going to be a vast contrast from my neat little box of four. But now that our little one is coming on three months, this truth is all the more clear.

Welcome our little man! Born in December.

The girls tell everyone he is their 'first' baby brother.

Mom quickly corrects that he's there ONLY baby brother!

I've heard many moms of little boys say that it is a different world with a son. I didn't think about this very much. But this little man IS a mama's boy. Sure Daddy gets to cuddle when he's available (night shift). But for the most part I'm his 24/7; and until our schedule changes, this makes juggling the girls, homeschool and life in general very interesting...to say the least. I realize this is the norm at this stage, but I guess I really forgot (between pregnancies) what it is like the first few months. And mostly for good reason, ha!

I haven't taken time to blog in months. There have been many A-ha moments when I would think, "I need to blog about this". Because the humor must be shared!

Example. That redefining moment I mentioned earlier? Yeah, that would be when BB (baby boy) was three weeks old. It was around 3 am. We were up for a feeding. So as I'm feeding him, Goose needs me to help her in the potty. While walking toward the bathroom (BB still latched), Prissy wakes with a nightmare! So just to be clear: BB on breast, oldest yelling for help, and middle screaming for Mommy to make it better. all at once. yeah.

Life since December has definitely brought a whole new meaning to the term "Welcome to Motherhood". I've talked with some other new moms recently. Smiles are shared when we think of looking back on this season and admiring the women we were...are?!?!

Parenthood. A precious gift.

Children. A priceless inheritance.

Showers daily... A luxury! :)

Enjoy every moment.

Remember:

1. Don't bottle up the emotion tryin to be super-woman. It won't happen.

2. Remember to breathe.

Laugh, cry, scream and above all exhale. Vent to that one sweet friend who is always available to listen and support you with encouraging words. And if you don't have anyone like that in your life, leave your "exhales" here in the comments. I will listen.

I'm praying peace for all you Super Strong Mamas today! As you mold, nurture, chase and charm the little ones you've been blessed with... No matter their age. You were chosen just for them. And I'm rootin' for you!!!

Living on Purpose...It starts at home

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Fri, 04 Oct 2013 10:26:00 +0000

Last week, I posted an entry with a partial title, "It starts at home." I am feeling a series of posts coming on that will focus on this topic. They may be random. Maybe not. But lately I have resigned myself to only write when I am really motivated. Actually this resignation is across the board of my daily routine. (Pregnancy at an older age could attribute to this as well.) However, I am encouraged by the wisdom I am gaining in the wee hours of morning. So, I hope you glean from the lessons of this insomniac.

Gentleness and Patience. An intentional life. This is my plea.

Sometimes in a season of waiting, we can get so focused on where we are going that the present becomes mundane. I've been in this place for months. This past year, WJ and I knew our season of sojourning was coming to a close. And as our dreams are soon to becoming a functional reality, the waiting creates an impatience that oft times ruins my daily outlook. I long for what is to come. I cry out for that place we are headed, knowing in the physical that balance will come. Better schedule, better community, more opportunity for our family unit. Yet I know in my spirit that I still have lessons to learn right where I am.

This morning. Prime example.

I awoke with the usual thoughts of marriage, motherhood, our household. Knowing I didn't handle all as I should have yesterday, but knowing that I didn't prepare for my day as I should have either. I could have spent more time actually being with my girls, instead of just existing under the same roof. That load of laundry really needed to get done. I should not have allowed the TV to be on as much. So many little things that add up. And yes, I could excuse this because of pregnancy, but somehow that seemed a bit off this morning.

Truth: I am genuinely hard on myself about my time and focus, but somehow this keeps me on my toes. I guess if I didn't care, I wouldn't be concerned with becoming better?!?

So, as I lay there, that still small voice prompted me to pick up my book Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. (Yes, I've had the book for a long time and no, I did not finish all at once.) The next chapter I was on was entitled "Living on Purpose". Amazing coincidence? I think not.

In the 12th chapter, Sarah Mae talked about not wanting to regret her life. She wrote of how she woke up in the middle of the night in fear that she had not done enough as a mother. Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so too. She corresponded with Sally Clarkson on how to live more intentionally. Putting her intentions into action. Living on purpose. The chapter was EXACTLY what I needed on this exact day. And here are my thoughts from the wisdom that literally jumped off the pages right into my soul.

Journal Entry:

My Thoughts - Fulfillment and Balance will not fully come by a mere change in geography. This has to start now. Right where I am. Right here. It has to come with how I prepare, view and live out each day...no matter how simple. No matter how much each day tries to convince me that life is mundane, I have to remember it's up to me to reject that and change the atmosphere.

How can I change this? this theory that geography is going to solve my longing for fulfillment? three things...

1. Nurture more than teach.

2. Care more than command.

3. Be intentional.

Brainstorm - If I would just turn off the TV and fill our home with things that create joy... purpose will come. So, what brings me joy? Candles for the season, music, art projects and a good book. Small ways to bring life into the home. To connect me with my children, to enjoy what is left of this quiet season.

My Prayer - "Lord, help me tune out what makes me passive and replace it with passion for life again so it can overflow in our home."

Life has to happen on purpose. Baby steps.

Today we buy a new book, a new candle and we dance.

~jme

UPDATE: baby boy was born on December 10th. I still wake to feelings of missing the mark. However I've applied some of the insights from this post and life has been somewhat calmer... Even in the midst of adjusting to being a mother of three!

Preparing for each day...It starts at home.

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Wed, 18 Sep 2013 12:01:00 +0000

I can claim the promises of God, allow scripture to penetrate my soul

and spend countless hours with my Savior...

I can speak encouragement to my peers, pray with those in need and

walk in the light of Jesus among my community...

BUT.

If this is not first applied within my home, to my family, my children, then I have missed it.

It starts at home.

Our greatest influence, our biggest assignment, our most precious disciples.

Marriage, parenting and running the household.

Let this be a prayer and preparation for my soul, my will, each morning:

"I will walk with integrity of heart within my house."

Psalm 101:2

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditations fo my heart be acceptable in Your sight, oh my Rock and my Redeemer."

Psalm 19:14

"Put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires."

Romans 13:14

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude; it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"But the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self Control; against such things there is no law."

Galatians 5:22

"Therefore, as you have received Jesus Christ the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith. Just as you were taught, abounding in Thanksgiving."

Colossians 2:6

~Lord, may your word be established in my heart. May my body, mind and soul reflect the virtues of your ways so the heart of my husband can trust in me. Let my tongue bring peace, calm and gentle instruction to my children. In Jesus Name.

A daily life of purpose

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Mon, 19 Aug 2013 23:09:00 +0000

Recently, WJ and I decided to revisit the way our home runs on a daily basis. We needed a new schedule. And we needed to stick to it. Make it happen. In order to see this through, we challenged ourselves to implement this way of life for 30 days.

What spurred this challenge? Well, the obvious reason was that I had a very rough time during the first trimester of this third pregnancy. Life as we knew it had stopped. Completely. For two months. I had no motivation, no drive to do anything from housework to home school. Sadly I will admit, the other three members of my family had been entertained for weeks on Netflix & PBS Kids while I tried to keep myself out of the bathroom! I was so thankful when weeks 14-15 came around. All sickness and aversions to the kitchen in general, subsided. Life began to look normal again. I actually found myself craving healthy food and was able to focus on the fact that I have daughters and a husband!

Back in March, I had made a decent attempt to revisit life; of course, this was just before we found out about Baby H growing inside the womb. So, on my 37th birthday (of all days) WJ and I finalized our plan. Hoping to create habits that would stick, I had evaluated our awake hours and worked up a better schedule for home school, meal times, family/craft time, etc. We discussed past experience and realized that we are truly a family unit that needs a schedule. Our lives and home run better with a little organization and determination.

WJ's conviction of this had a bigger purpose. He talked of the importance of making the most of our time now when our days were simple. One job. Two kids. Not much activity outside the home. He said that if we could do this now, we would be ready for more children, more community and one day, hopefully, our own business. Made sense to me. Succeed in the small things... etc., etc.

So, we did it. I am pretty pleased to say that we are in our 6th week and things have been so much better. Aside from the whole family being attacked with a yucky stomach bug mid-summer, we have accomplished what we set out to do. And this home has been so full of joy. Considering I am now 23 weeks pregnant with our third child, the timing of this new way of daily living was impeccable. The girls are happier about school, I am walking upright, albeit large, still upright. And WJ has a better view of our future.

So far this pregnancy has been a symbol of many things 'revisited' for us. The focus now: living. BEING instead of doing. Of course the house is not spotless, we live here. And our 'To-Do list' isn't completed every day. But our hearts are in it. We are attacking each day with purpose.

My biggest lesson in this: the more I began to focus on the little workings of our family and our new challenge, the less time I had to see the negative, or what we didn't have. I became thankful for what we did have. This simple time in our lives. I also had no time to allow selfishness to rear its ugly head!

Well, that sums up our little world for now. Hope you all have had a terrific summer and are as excited to welcome the beautiful season of Autumn as I am. (Although, in the South, its more of a mindset than a physical expression!)

What are some ways you have re-worked life to run smoother on a daily basis? Has the Lord shown you anything about your family that could be preparation for busier days ahead? What season do your find yourself in?

Life Revisited

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Wed, 15 May 2013 16:53:00 +0000

This last month has been crazy. Literally. Finding myself in a slump... a dumpy place with no motivation to move, much less be a mommy. Ever have those moments? Well... welcome. Life used to be so orderly, so scheduled. But lately, in the words of my favorite blogger, Ann Voskamp, "I've traded perfection for a good dose of real."

I wondered so many times what in the world was happening to me? Sure, WJ has a new schedule to which we have all taken longer to adjust. But where did my 'drive' go? Where did my passion for teaching, cooking and fitness go? Just 2 months ago, I was so gung-ho! Now, nothing.

I still don't have all the answers to this. But I do know that God has shown me many things about myself and I'm realizing one major thing. I AM NORMAL. Never thought this before. I'm always too hard on 'me'. Too critical of my daily function. I guess, since the creator of the universe already knew this, it was time for the big reveal. And boy I am getting it. I'm sure most of you reading this are smirking just a little. If you are close to me then you knew this lesson was coming.

I do not fault myself for wanting order in my home or a schedule that keeps me sane. Some thrive on this. Some hate it. What I am learning is balance. On days when reality collides with my mentally perfect world, I now know that I can survive it. Its ok if the floors don't get swept, if the dishes are still in the dirty side of the sink when I wake up (ok, maybe only one or two nights a week!) The point is, life is about what we do, not how it looks. I'm done with surface perfection. This does not guarantee peace or happiness.

I am learning the seasons of motherhood, womanhood and wilderness. And while this post may make no sense to anyone else, that is the beauty of it all.

Life revisited from a 'normal' perspective. My kids are safe. They are fed and clean before bedtime (most nights). I have simplified homeschool and we are on a much slower pace.

Simplicity and balance. This is my focus for the coming months.

We will survive. By grace and HOPE.

Be the lens.

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 05:49:00 +0000

We visited one of our favorite places this weekend, Barnes & Noble. It's our go-to when there is no where else to. go. to.

While WJ sat with the girls as they played with Thomas the Train, I decided to venture into uncharted territory. I wanted to see what the rest of society read while I dreamed of a perfect world through my copy of Southern Living magazine. What I found totally floored me.

When did "Teen Paranormal Activity/Novels" take a whole section of a rather large store? Yes, at the moment I realize I have lived under a rock for 6 years. But I could not believe what I saw on FIVE sets of shelves all under the heading "Teen".

as in not adult. as in my life just 7 years

from now as Goose is 6 next week!

As I googled 'manga' on my phone, I stood wondering why this really surprised me. I do not think evil exists only at the level of the wicked witch or the evil stepmother. Yet, I was taken aback at the onslaught of material that people obviously see as harmless. Please understand, I knew this type of writing existed. What shocked me was the target audience. All of a sudden, I felt weak.

WJ's words to Goose came crashing down around me as I recall him saying over and over the last few weeks, "You know Goose, you could stay 5 for a while longer. You don't have to grow up so fast!"
He is always encouraging me in my daily work with them; now I understand his urgency.

I saw them through his eyes.

He leaves every day for work,

and when he comes home,

he sees a growth in them

that I overlook because I am so close.

Well, in that moment, I saw it. And it terrified me.

I rushed back to my family, in tears, needing to see my little girls...needing to look into their innocence and cherish that moment. the moment I realized time is not slowing down.

As Goose ran toward me excited over a new book, I interrupted her and simply asked, "Will you please stay 5 years old? Please don't get any older. Stay exactly how you are right now." Of course she looked at me with the look, you know the "Mo-o-om" look (Mom: pronounced in 3 syllables instead of 1). But I held her anyway. Enjoying her. And wondering how many young children are familiar with topics of witchcraft, evil seduction & the occult; thinking them to be harmless stories.

As I looked around, I didn't have to wonder long. Right there in the children's section, was the introduction of deceptive evils to this generation. In neat box sets, & catchy covers...still evil. I watched as a mother tried to help her seemingly very young daughter figure out which series to read next. Both choices made me cringe. It broke my heart to see the exposure Satan has gained in such a young audience. And it started with what someone allowed to be ok. A society desensitized more and more every year.

Please understand, WJ & I long to teach our children with a broad scope of cultural literacy & artistic license. We are not in a 'bubble' mentality whatsoever. We desire to help them grow into well rounded women who are able to live in a society that is diverse, while holding to their convictions, whatever they may be.

We teach JESUS. The son of God who dined with sinners. Not a man who rejected anything or anyone that was not 'holy'. He lived and breathed reality. He accepted people for who they were and He adjusted to his surroundings while holding to His convictions. This is the pattern we strive for.

At some point, our children have to be aware. And we, as parents, want to be the lens that exposes reality.

Please hear me. Cliches truly have purpose.

If we do not teach them, someone else will.

I believe that many limit this statement to mean, "Teach them what you want them to know; solely what you want them to believe." This is so wrong. If you, as parents, do not take opportunity for explanation when they come to you with questions, they will figure it out. Someone will show them how cruel the world can be.

Please pray about how to introduce reality to your children. Look for teachable moments and show them ways to deal with what they will face, or are already facing. Don't ignore it.

BE THE LENS.

...click on the 'cliche' for a similar post

on how we use reality as a teachable moment

I am selfish. Period.

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 05:05:00 +0000

Previous posts about our home life seem to be so together and tidy. From daily schedules to what I teach in homeschool, 'life as a Harris' is organized for the most part. But (there is always a but) I am still such a selfish mommy.

This morning I awoke to a quiet house long before daylight. But there was such a heaviness in my heart. I'm a mess. Lately, I have been overwhelmed with the realization that I would rather find cute things on Pinterest than watch Letter Factory for the millionth time. It does prick my heart to know that I find more enjoyment in reading another chapter on motherhood than actually spending time as "playmate mommy" most afternoons. Turns out, I'm not alone (thank you @saramae! Desperate, chapter 7). For months now I've read, and even quoted, wiser women on being the best version of me that I can offer to my girls. "They are our greatest disciples!" yes. It's just taken a while for my heart to catch up... Well today is catch up day.

How can I be for them when I don't want to do anything? When I should be creating palaces and princess adventures in the living room with chairs and blankets, I'd rather not. When did I lose interest in my own children? Now this is sporadic. Some days are wonderful, then bam. Bad, sad day. Focused inward, not upward or outward. Such a mess.

I've still got so much in me that needs denying so their spirits aren't crushed in the mix. But I've asked the Lord to soften my heart and put in me a desire to just sit with them. To breathe. To realize laundry can wait. Dishes can wait. What matters most is for them to see that I am all in. In the moment. with them, watching them. not just taking up space. Today i began trying to make our home their favorite play place. I'm realizing that my crafts, books and computer time have to come second to their desire for me to be at their tea party.

So as the sun peeked from behind a snow filled morning, tears streamed down my face and I surrendered. Again. Knowing I cannot do this alone. The grief, my selfish focus, has to be left at the foot of my cross. I will take it up daily, this sacrifice of self (Luke 9:23). And my daughters will know that Mommies are more than "Pick this up. Flush the potty. Use your INSIDE VOICE! (said in my outside voice)".

Balance is dawning within my heart. Now it's time for it to brighten our home. I'm grateful for the book Desperate by Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson along with their blogs. These women have helped capture my heart as well as allow a sigh of relief that I am not alone. Every mom faces it. The tired days. The weary moments. It's what we do in those moments that make the difference. I'm determined to show my daughters Jesus...patient, affectionate, selfless Jesus; and me, their Mommy who doesn't have it all together but is present and willing to give them my full attention.

the only good in me is His grace. wild and unconditional. and that is the anchor for this heart tonight. Sweet dreams.

Coming out of the Prayer Closet...

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 07:56:00 +0000

Less than two years into our marriage, the Lord began to stir something in WJ that would change our lives forever. After many years of study, separation and sharpening (as in iron on iron), his focus shifted from 'going to church' to 'being the church'. This shift had been cultivating for many years, but it wasn't until Goose was a baby that it became an active effort on his part to dive into the 'why we do what we do' mentality... WJ had attended The Call in Nashville, TN the summer of 2007. Two weeks later he traveled to Peru to visit a close missionary friend. This was his turning point.

Now get this picture in your head:

At that time, we were youth & young adult ministers in the worship center where my DAD was pastor. Yeah. I also helped lead worship every week, published the newsletter and was my Dad's closest help, just behind my mother. I remember thinking, "Lord, how do I submit, run with and support the searchings of whatever is happening within my husband while I am still trying to be sensitive to my parents' ministry?" Commence a long, drawn out struggle within my heart.

Why the struggle? Three reasons:

1. My dad was Pastor! Dad=Pastor & Pastor=Dad. Were we really about to resign and walk away and I couldn't even explain why? No, this wasn't happening. I was comfortable right where I was thank you very much!
2. My mind was closed. CLOSED! I took everything that WJ introduced to me as going against everything I knew; and I did not know how to process this information. Iron sharpening iron... poor WJ.

3. Skeptical? Understatement. I thought questioning our methods and traditions would blaspheme anything I ever knew of my life as a believer. This was a lie of the enemy. But sadly, it took many years before I realized this.

In our transition from 'going to church', it was a stressful time. WJ had only begun to see what might be our journey in the near future. It wasn't as much that he knew where we were headed, but that our past practice wasn't enough anymore. My biggest fear was the huge valley of division that I felt growing between where I had been to where we were going, blindly obedient. For me more blind than obedient. I felt so torn.  I had so many questions, but they were not the right ones. I was more worried about the journey, about what others would think. And what were my parents going to think? I had planned to live 1.2 miles from them for the rest of our lives!

So, how did I start embracing this journey with WJ? I focused on what I should do as a wife. One simple principle guided me in this transition: SUBMISSION.

My deepest anxiety lied in what my Dad's opinion would be about all of this. Yet he calmed all fear with one statement. I can hear his words even now, "I trust that you know His voice. Obey it. It's all about Jesus. My path is not yours; go, find your own." Although they could not totally understand what we could not totally explain, my parents were very supportive. Dad and I later had a conversation on the importance of trust. I told him that my anchor had been his teachings about following the voice of the Holy Spirit. We also laughed about the quick lesson of submission that had ensued. After all, our vows on our wedding day were not traditional. Where you go, I will go. I had NO idea God would require this of me, literally.

So, I dove in head first and scared. But when I began to ask the right questions (who, what, when, where and why) the Holy Spirit began to answer. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. After many months of study, discussion, and challenging questions between WJ & myself, more questions arose.

1. Maybe the way "church", as I knew it, was not the complete pattern set forth in the book of Acts and throughout the New Testament.
2. Maybe more practices had evolved from tradition than the heart of the Father.
3. Maybe there was more to the teachings on the Church, the Bride... THE BODY.
4. Maybe the enemy had used man's good intentions of 'not forsaking the gathering together' to take the focus off of what mattered most: Jesus & Community.

Simply put, we had to step from where we were to see where God was leading, and to truly see this from a different perspective. For a while now, that journey has been the wilderness. He knew I needed to sever what existed; this had to be broken and poured out so that only what remains is not of me, but Christ. It has happened. It has taken years, but it is evident; so much so that I don't even recognize that young wife who was lost and worried, fretting over the past while chasing the future. I now see that this wilderness has been for my good but it's been the toughest thing I've ever faced.

Enter Frank Viola and his list of books.

I began with The Untold Story of the New Testament then moved on to Rethinking the Wineskin, Pagan Christianity and ReImagining Church. While it blew me away as to the origins of our traditions and just how far we have drifted from the NT pattern, one thing remained. Jesus and His definition of the Church. His bride.

Viola's early works rocked the mindset I had toward the Church and how She was intended to function (look) today. I now fully support and believe in a more simple way of worship, more focused on community than on the propaganda that has threatened to overtake our society in regard to the Sunday/Wednesday goings on of local believers. WJ and I have sought, ARE SEEKING, an organic expression of the Church. Yes, I still hold to the belief that believers should meet together. I do! However, I now believe that there is more to this experience than pulpit to pew. [The other end of this spectrum has also been distorted in the movement of those who have the 'postchurch' mentality. This mentality is not what I am talking about, introducing or supporting.]

There is a pattern to follow from the New Testament. It is liberating yet it holds believers very accountable to, and for, other believers. The first century church was a community. They ate together, prayed together, lived together (in some cases)... Frank Viola has written an in depth series of books (mentioned earlier) that discusses this in much detail.

So, in stepping off the stage, so to speak, I have realized the importance of embracing the 'priesthood of all believers' (1 Peter 2:9-10). My intentions are in no way to bash the workings of western civilization and it's religious practices. I do, however, hope this causes you to ponder "why you do what you do". Be able to truly know that you are where you are supposed to be, doing what you are supposed to be doing. I also wanted to shed light on our journey these last few years, in case anyone was wondering. wink.

So many questions have been answered, yet many still remain. There is much to this and I feel we are only scratching the surface. I am very thankful for the willingness of my husband to be transformed. I have learned much in the last few years. And recently felt the need to spend a little more of my day in thanks to God for bringing me out into this desert place...it's time to go deeper.

I am beginning a 30 day journey, very similar to the turning point that WJ had many years ago.
It is time to let "all that remains" be the truth of Jesus' true vision for the body.
It is time to fully pursue the work/example of the early Church.

A baptism of sorts this is...It is time to honor and outwardly acknowledge the submission to this journey...a journey that truly is the will of God for us.

If you are wondering about any of this... the old, the new, or the in between of what Christ has for us as a community... please leave a comment. I will respond. I've also linked certain words/phrases in this post to sites online that will give more detail; simply click the highlighted words.

P.S. I hope to read this very soon. The newest book by Frank Viola

(co-authored by Leonard Sweet)..

http://frankviola.org/jesuschrist

a Message in the Fog...

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 02:13:00 +0000

google.com/images

On Wednesday, for the first time since being in Oklahoma, the fog that set in was so thick it lasted all day. As we ran our errands, I bleakly stared out the window. Thinking this day fit my mood. And everyone around me knew it. Lately, it had been a chore simply to get out of bed, to keep house or affectionately be who I loved being. Then it came to me. This fog held symbolism beyond my mood. I realized that looking at this fog was like looking into our future. Even though I could not see very far, it was still there. Something.

The fog that afternoon has captivated my memory for two days now. Thoughts of my short sightedness, just like the fog. For reasons we cannot see, the fog remains hiding the distant path. In the landscape that we are able to see clearly, rest assured there are lessons to learn. And if not taken at a slower pace, drifting too far into the fog can be dangerous.

At times, the fog's density is to hide things that may be more fearful than the fog itself. God cares about our journey. And sometimes he gives just enough clarity for the steps we currently need to take; shielding us from surroundings that may cause panic and doubt.

I am amazed at how, when I am at my weakest, He shows me something like this. Fog...so mysteriously simple. I have learned a great deal this week about my dependance; needing to lean solely on my Creator. After all, if word be true, He knows what I need before I ask. To trust His guidance and care of our lives and future is daunting at best. But moments like these, with the revelation of the fog, my spiritual visibility is perfectly clear.

So I hold to the unwavering joy of what I cannot see. Unexplainable and sometimes misunderstood, this hope is the anchor of my soul. No matter the struggle, no matter the view, and no matter how hard life has tried to squeeze it from my being, I must carry on in hope. And with each moment of surrender, I find a glimpse of symbolism in the world around me. Grace.

It's as if He is whispering, "I am here. At the next turn in the road. With just enough light to renew hope for your journey. Come. Don't give up." And the fog lifts.

www.google.com/images

Simplifying

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 18:41:00 +0000

I've always attempted to achieve more than is actually possible. Goals have been set over my lifespan that, now looking back, are just simply ridiculous. The last few months, it's been all about simplifying... Life, family, housework & homeschool. Especially homeschool.

I've learned so much from other stay at home moms, from my own mom, from WJ and from daily communion with God. While each of these have taught me in different arenas of preparing our girls for life, I have been most convicted of my 'perfection' mentality. While I firmly believe in goal setting and lists, I have realized that I did not want this mindset to wreck the future of my girls' well being. In the words of my own dad, "it's all about BALANCE". And I am thankful for this stretching.

Over Christmas break, I revisited our lesson plans, re-writing and stretching them out a lot. We've gone from trying to spend 3-4 hours a day in 'school' to sometimes not even an hour! I've found that Goose is still learning her core lessons without the pressure to perform. In changing my high expectations, she's actually learning more quickly! Prissy's just happy with a dry erase marker board, so I'm good for now.

We have desk time for an hour every day (give or take). I have divided our other activities to cover the whole week instead of every day... Nature, Worship, & Art (or a combination of these because, after all, they can go together). We are continuing our study of the states; turns out Goose loves maps as much as I do which makes this Mama smile! She is even beginning to help me read to Prissy at night, which is amazing. While our schedule may be more laid back, and she may not be as advanced as some... I am content with living our own pace. She will be taught order, organization and discipline as we continue living our lessons every day.

Speaking of organization...

As far as housework... well, this is the biggest challenge for me. I have strived to keep a neat house. I love organization. However, I also want my family to 'live'. While we don't encourage chaos in the rooms of our home, I've adopted what a wise woman once termed the 'functional mess'. If something seems messy, ask yourself, "is it functional? is it active?" meaning: is it being used right now? as in crafts, stuffed animal hospitals or the rock collection that is their dinosaur museum? Even thought I still hold to the 'everything has a place' mentality, allowing a little wiggle room has freed my neurotic mind when it comes to the inner workings of our household! I'm quite certain this has made the other three dwellers very happy. For me, the adjustment is so enjoyable. Who knew? Well probably all of you!

Life is every changing. And to think this doesn't apply to the early years of raising children, or any year for that matter, is crazy. I have found this big sigh of relief a wonderful thing. While life may evolves, it certainly doesn't need my help in making it more difficult.

Now, let out a big sigh.

Felt good didn't it?!?

India. Ashli's view

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 16:56:00 +0000

Landed safely in Heryderbad around midnight, traveled by bus to a hostel where we slept for a few hours, had lunch, worship, cultural orientation, slept more, and left for an overnight bus ride to our ministry headquarters. Our team is jet lagged and hungry but so excited for this month doing VILLAGE MINISTRY!! (YAY!) As far as living conditions, we'll be tenting - Not sure where we will poop or use wifi. My sleeping pad has a leak in it so please pray that Jesus makes a way for me to somehow get rest.

Yesterday, our contact said, "India is the country that will show you that you cannot do this in your own strength."

that said...

India is amazing.

Not because we have beds or toilets or showers or reliable wifi, 'cause we don't. But because we are constantly uncomfortable, always stinky and dirty, and pray the Internet works long enough for us to post a FB status. Ya see, I'm finding that the more comfort we're given, the more we think we deserve. YET, put us in a place where all comfort and normalcy is stri...pped and we find joy in the smallest things. You've never seen 6 people more excited to find out there was ice cream at the end of our dinner last night. Dinner that we did not recognize nor could we pronounce the name of.

Today, wherever you are around the world, try going without something you're used to.

Stretch yourself - and in that, find that your strength is not enough, nor will it ever be. But His.... His is more than enough.

Peace, love, and spicy curry - Ashli :)

Shrinking...

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 18:09:00 +0000

Every time I think of losing weight, I can hear my Dad's philosophy ring in the ears... "Just buy bigger clothes!" He was always intrigued by our aspirations for good nutrition... yet he didn't want it brought to his table!

From the background that WJ & I both have in fitness and nutrition, aspiring to re-create this lifestyle has become a priority for our family. We feel this is one of the greatest things aside from Jesus that we could give our girls; as well as elongating the length of our days to enjoy our family.

To date (since the start of this new year) I have lost 7 pounds. That's pretty ok with me since it is only the first month. There is always more that I could be doing, but considering what we have changed since the holiday, I am very encouraged. And feeling MUCH better!

Food: I have managed to change almost every eating habit that was dragging me down. We are still working on the "jelly" cravings of my oldest daughter and WJ, but hey, we're getting there! We are doing a combination of Dr. Gundry's Diet Evolution, recipes from the Daniel Fast and the basics of portion control. We have eliminated as much processed food as possible at this point and that was no small feat! I bought a blender, because juicers still intimidate me. And I'm thankful that the girls will drink pretty much anything I make as long as it has strawberries or kiwi in it!

I also use the MyFitessPal app on my phone (or the internet) to help journal my food & exercise. If you are serious about losing weight, start keeping detail on what you take in... it is amazing how this changed my mentality of what (and when) I eat & drink.

Exercise: I have started doing some form of 'movement' every day. The addition of the Wii (Christmas present) has been a great tool for us as we were not prepared this year to pay for gym fees. I'd rather spend our small budget on healthy food and do the work myself. (I do miss the gym, though.)

I have also found a rekindled love for strength training (which has always been my go-to). I am using the LIVE FIT program by Jamie Eason. She is awesome and I love the workouts. I do however tweek each day to fit my forte of training. The best results I have seen so far are by incorporating a cardio set in between my lifting. This helps burn the calories as I tone muscle.

TIP: buy a jump rope. Best way I've found as a mom to get a 'very quick' cardio workout in between meals, homeschool and laundry! Of course you'd have to make sure the ceilings are high enough, or just step outside.

Rest: Since WJ has been working crazy shifts, some into the wee hours of the morning, I've realized my need for exercise to help me sleep. Before Jan. 1, I experienced insomnia at least 4 days out of the week. Staying up until 3 and 4 a.m. was literally draining me of all energy. After I started getting my heart rate up everyday, I found myself exhausted by 10 p.m.! Can you say, "Happy, Happy, Happy!?!" I am now almost back to my normal sleep pattern of a 10-11 p.m. bedtime, waking by 5-6 a.m. for study, prayer and preparation for the day! A little shout out to my circle of kindred sisters for all the prayer in this department too! It has helped!

~ I started the new year at 148 pounds (yeah. that's a ton of weight on a 5ft frame). I am now at 141 with a decrease of 4.5 inches total. Not as much as I'd like, but I'm not going off numbers... simply creating habits of doing something every day and maintaining a nutritional mindset!

If you want change, start small. Don't put the pressure on with an unattainable goal. Set weekly, daily or even hourly goals for yourself and get moving! Lean on the internet for resources and find others who will support and keep you accountable!

Happy Shrinking!

What are some of your goals and how is it going now that we are one month into the resolution season???

Life Moments. Our story... continued.

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 07:16:00 +0000

THIS IS THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF "OUR STORY"...

FOR CLARITY, REFER TO THIS LINK TO START AT THE BEGINNING

http://www.lifeasaharris.blogspot.com/2012/08/for-mrs-shores-our-storyor-at-least.html

~~~~

Life moments: Those times in your journey that totally take you by surprise and alter every thought of what the future should look like. And most of the time, these moments are not recognizable.

It could take years to figure out.

As I walked with S&G to our cars, I could not help but think how this night had totally shocked me. All of my anxieties about attending this event had faded as I focused on recent happenings. WJ & I had maintained a continual conversation between his tasks of assisting the father of the bride. Turns out, B’s dad was his mentor! Who knew? Her parents are amazing, God-fearing, Golden Eagle supporters. But I had no idea that Mr. B was so involved with the SAE Fraternity at USM; which is where he met WJ. I also had no idea WJ was a fraternity brother! Fraternity…really? I will admit my stereotype of ‘frat boys’ was blown out of the water as WJ just didn’t seem to fit the mold. At all. He agreed (about the mold) and explained quickly that he saw it as a way to help other young men outside of ‘church’. A missionary of sorts (my conclusion). Cool. Ok. Seeing as how he was currently serving as a youth pastor, I could go for this scenario.

A faint giggle from S snapped me back to reality. Here it comes. As they both stood in front of me with smug looks on their faces, I felt pressed to justify the exchange of phone numbers they had just witnessed. My explanation was simple. It went something like this:

“WJ would be a perfect fit as an employee at Waukaway! He’s rugged, strong as an ox and he loves the Lord more than any single guy I know! (Did I just say single?) I mean, come on, he did haul firewood to make a living while we were in juco!”

Convinced? Neither were S&G. They both stared at me in that ‘Right. You keep thinking that’ sort of look. As we said our goodbyes, I couldn’t help but ponder my hesitancy of coming tonight in the first place! Wow. And although my friends could see right through me, I was busy convincing my heart that this was purely platonic. I had managed to suppress half of my attraction and was convincing the other half of my heart rather quickly as I drove back to camp. WJ just had to come to Waukaway. He would fit right in! And Mac & Sunshine were going to love him!

Who are Mac & Sunshine? Only the greatest couple in the world! (Seinfeld voice again) They are my mentors & best friends…and on a normal day, my employers. Meeting this couple was a major life moment. And I had a feeling that tonight, randomly meeting WJ at this party, I had just experienced another.

Of course I could not wait to tell Sunshine about my evening. So the next morning after our prayer time, I gave her a play by play. She could not stop smiling; thus, commencing another prayer time for my heart. Sunshine also keeps me grounded. Good friends are willing to do this you know! I am so grateful for her kindred spirit. Five years my elder, she was, and still remains, one of my dearest friends. And Mac was indeed interested in seeking WJ for employment.

Mac, with his acute awareness for details and timing, suggested that I do a ‘preliminary interview’ with WJ before having him out to camp. He thought it would be best if I 'set up' a time to meet WJ and have coffee, explaining more about Waukaway and what we were looking for in our summer employees. I was totally surprised; although I’m not sure why because for every other potential staffer this is the way we did it. Why was I so hesitant about scoping out WJ’s future?

Yes, I just made that statement and I totally understand how it sounded.

Two days later, I was to meet WJ for lunch around 1 p.m. at WCW’s, a quaint café in Hattiesburg. He was on time and we found a table in the back. I did notice as he sat down that there was a rather large notebook in his hands. After we ate and were having coffee, I inquired about the gigantic binder. “Oh this is my calendar and five year plan,” WJ stated casually. That binder sparked a four hour conversation (yes, I said four) on life, God, jobs, future and relationships that to this day is a vivid memory. I was so amazed that someone, anyone, had put so much thought into their future. He walked me through his plan, his outlook on singleness and his expectations of what the Church was supposed to look like (more on all of this later). We enjoyed hours, literally, of pleasant conversation. My favorite part of the whole afternoon was the look on his face, as we were discussing the dating scene, when I told him that if I finally met ‘the one’, I wanted our first kiss to be on our wedding day.

Total silence. I think he almost choked on his Caramel Macchiato.

He just stared at me, which left me totally awkward and feeling vulnerably stupid. So I quickly recovered with my reasoning/rambling:

“My past is jaded. And I’ve worked really hard to accept God’s forgiveness where relationships are concerned. Which is why I love being single. It hasn't always been this way, it's hard finding a balance between lonely and alone. But now I have one focus. God. However, if and when I end up with ‘the one’, I want the whole relationship to be pure. I mean, there is a reason the minister always says, ‘NOW you may kiss your bride’.”

He smiles. I continue.

“I also think there are three components to a great relationship: commitment, intimacy & passion. In that order. Too many of our peers, myself included get these mixed up and usually begin a faulty relationship based on passion. With commitment coming first, intimacy is more of the two getting to know each other within their own environments… around the people they are most comfortable with. When two people date in solitude, passion usually surfaces because they are only focused on each other. There is too much margin for ‘error’. Plus, most couples at this stage put things in a ‘need to know’ category; this leaves too much to be learned of the other after marriage, if they make it that far. So, yes, there is a place for passion, I just happen to think it should come after the wedding vows. Everything that happens before is to build trust through transparent encounters.”

Again, silence.

I would not know the impact these words had on WJ for many years.

Life Moment.

Comfort food for Sneezy & Dopey

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 16:50:00 +0000

I've come down with a yucky cold....Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail kind of cold! Fuzzy head, sneezing and tissue EVERYWHERE.

Needless to say, on days like this it is hard to want to eat anything, much less eat healthy. So, I'm making a crock pot stew for the family. I'm not sure of it's nutritional value, but it does have spinach in it! Comfort food for sneezy & dopey (that's me).

Here's the link where I found the recipe

http://www.pink-parsley.com/2012/11/crockpot-chicken-sausage-stew.html#

I'll let you know how it turns out!

And this was breakfast!!! Hold the syrup. Add honey!
Yummy comfort food... Sneezy is happy! Back to the regiment tomorrow!

Our week in pictures

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 06:04:00 +0000

Yes, I am a football gal.

An SEC football gal to be exact!

And I enjoyed the game,

although it was a little boring through the middle.

Hey, i'm still a female...

-- Bama winning another Championship... expected.
-- My BF's lack of enthusiasm that kept me in stitches during the game... PRICELESS!!!
Roll Tide!

The girls were a little excited about school this week. Score!
And... they love dress up. Its the only time I can keep them in clothes at all.

Ready for summer, or the science lab...

I love books. This one launched this week at

www.sarahmae.com

It's been fun doing the giveaways.

Now I'm just waiting on my trip to Colorado & the new mixer, ha!

Funny faces from the Phillipines & Target

Going green at the Harris' household...

Way overdue.

This is a veggie concoction.

Carrots, Spinach, Cucumber,

Naked Juice (yes, mom I used the word...inside family joke)

It was actually tasty. The girls loved it.

Now if I can just make money from writing silly stuff to support our healthy grocery budget. Yeah.

Like anything else, BECOMING healthy takes a lot of time and money.

But I'd rather spend it on food than doctors!

It's been a good week here. Getting ready to start a new bible study on Monday.

The new year is looking pretty calm. I'm excited about that.

Happy Sunday!

The Big Exhale

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:52:00 +0000

This morning has already proved my necessity for the daily entry of God Calling. I knew last night it would, just had that feeling (read jan 9).

WJ is working evening/nights. He has worked the last 7 days and wont be off for another 7!!! For some unnatural reason, my girls were wide awake at 4 am and just as we settled back in, WJ comes through the door at 6!!! So. We've been awake and I'm HOLDING to the words of that little book today!

"Not to be overwhelmed, not to feel life's strain!" God believes I am strong enough to handle this... I'm still waiting on that confidence to kick in.

As I miss my husband, miss my friends and companions.. I am empty. I guess this is the avenue of attack the enemy is trying with me. Lonely beyond words...
i.crave.community!
Yet I KNOW God is the one stretching me and beckoning me to grow. Matthew 6:33 has taken me to a new depth this morning.

As we try to engage our new city, our schedule makes it almost impossible. But I sense the reason... HE wants my WHOLE trust and dependance! Joe cannot fulfill the places God resides. My children cannot. Friends and community will not complete me. This road has to be traveled. And I must empty my flesh, my emotions, and my will to embrace it.

this season is akin to years ago when I waked the road of emptying myself to singleness... Strange insight. I'll think on that one awhile.

There are moments when I feel so selfish in this, knowing there are so many others who have it much worse. Ive got the head knowledge, just waiting for my heart to catch up!

Thanks for letting me exhale this morning! I love you all

Unbridled grief. Inexplainable Calm.

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 06:01:00 +0000

Wellness has been good today... workout, clean eating, homeschool without complaint. Focused on my word of the week: Hope.

A little devo from God Calling.

Yep, all is well.

But let me tell you a little about grief... it's just kind of always there. Beyond all of the stabilities in my day, the sadness still catches me off guard at the most unusual times. So many have encouraged me that this is normal, but I'm still not a fan.

After bath time, the girls wanted to look at pictures. 'Actual' pictures in an album. I know, its a forgotten pasttime. My little ones are fascinated. Goose still cannot comprehend growing up without a computer.

So, I dug out the albums. We looked through pictures of Lala (my mother) as a baby, teenager & young mother. Next we looked at WJ's childhood album where there is an animal of some sort in almost every picture, alive or dead is irrelevant.

Then it comes. Our wedding album. I realized that I probably had not looked at it in a VERY long time. Not because I don't LOVE my wedding memories, because I do. It's just that, since my Dad passed, the memories are a little bittersweet. He was my best friend. He cheered me on through a very crucial season of singleness. He was our biggest fan... and he was buried on our wedding anniversary.

Please excuse my raw emotion tonight, but you see, I've come to realize that

this blog is just as much for me as it is for the few of you who actually read it.

As soon as I opened the big book, it hit me. That overwhelming sadness that I despise. I tried to keep my composure as the girls were so excited to see pics of Papa. Prissy, the youngest, calls him, "Papa Heaven" because we say it so intentionally to help her understand. I had to hurry through the reception pics and close the book. Sending them off to bed with a story and a song, I settled into the loneliness of my room. And I let the tears flow. As I poured out all the "Why's" to a God who really needed to show up tonight, He did. He showed up with two thoughts...

one. The memory of December 17th, although bittersweet, has actually given me beauty for ashes. It doesn't have to be a day JUST to remember the passing of my father. It will forever share in the celebration of all the goodness God poured upon me when he gave me WJ. That focus will help in years to come as I relive the memories of my Dad, his laughs & his companionship. Balance.

two. WJ made me cry last week. Wait. It's not what you think. He happened to walk through the house, middle of the day, as I was obviously trying to hold in all emotion & BE for the girls. He stopped me. Sat me down. Squared my shoulders. And said, "Kendall." The only words I could say were, "Don't! I'm trying not to be emotional today." He gave me the look. I knew exactly what he meant. And the tears came. He then reminded, as he always does so sweetly, "It will help. Let it out." And it did help. Then and now.

As I type these last words, I am grateful for the relationship that I shared with my Dad. I am overwhelmed by the compassion, understanding and love of my husband. And above all, I am thankful for the small glimpse of peace that comes with tears. A calm that I cannot understand.

Today's entry from God Calling is very interesting now that the day is almost done.

Here's a little of what amazes me in this little book...

Jan. 8: "Life with Me is not immunity from difficulties, but peace in difficulties...Joy is the result of faithful trusting acceptance of My Will, when it seems not joyous...Joy is the daughter of calm."

Finally, in the words of Rita Springer,

I don't understand your ways.

Oh but I will give you my song,

I'll give you all of my praise...

That's all he wants. His greatest desire. To be believed in. To hope.

If you endured this post, thank you. I love to write in order to help others in the journey. But tonight was one of self indulgence for the sake of catching a glimpse of that Joyous Calm... the freedom of crying out in my deepest need and Him understanding every pain. And then of the Answer. The little hope amid all the "why". Good night.

Breathe. Inspiration for Moms.

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 10:29:00 +0000

It's the most anticipated (by me), "Gonna Be Inspiring" (for me) book for Moms this year ! And it's only January 8th!

I have been following the story of how this book evolved for a few months now and it has been refreshing... so many Moms on overload or burnout and these two ladies discerned our needs and wrote the book! Maybe you don't feel this way, maybe you have a handle on your everyday happenings, which is fantastic. I do, most (some) days. But there are those days, you know which ones I'm talking about... And it's those days that this book will remind us that, at some point, we have to exhale.

I'm not usually an advocate for 'ranting' about books, people, movies (well, maybe movies)... but this one is going to be worth the read!

If you are:

the new Mommy (a little scared)

the toddler Mommy (a little frazzled)

or just the Mom (I've heard the name changes, with syllables added,

around 5th grade: enough said)

ORDER it today.

There is even a plea for seasoned moms (who are past the fearful, frazzled & annoyed years) to reach out and help younger mothers in the journey. I enjoy the blogs that these two authors have and I am so grateful for the community of moms that it has linked me to.

The link for the book

www.desperatemom.com

There are actual giveaways on this site if you order this week, which is way cool. I mean, what Mom wants to pass up a chance for free coffee, or massages for an ENTIRE YEAR?!?! and even a trip to COLORADO? thought so.

go. now. order. be inspired to engage life as a mother and realize that some days, it's not all natural and easy. But there are ways to enjoy the kid(s) and be pretty good at it in the process!

exhaling now...

leave a comment and let me know what you think of the sample chapter or the blogs if you get a chance to check them out!

Pulling the sweet tooth...

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 20:29:00 +0000

Yesterday was a great day in the journey to shrinking. Even saw my first decrease in weight: down 2.5 pounds this week!! Yet this was only the calm before the storm...

Out of nowhere, today I found myself standing over the cake. The cute chocolate cake that Goose made for us on New Years...and yes, yes I did. Fail.

Do I regret having the cake in the house? no. Because the memories of baking with my daughters is something that is very dear to me. We have designated Sundays and holidays for these times of indulgence, or "letting the sweet tooth loose" as the girls say. Although I have declared that I'm pulling my sweet tooth out for a while :)

I simply have to allow my will power to overpower my weakness!!

So what was the trigger? Well the day started out good, worked out early and eating clean through lunch. Then it hit. I was overwhelmed with a dirty house, dirty clothes & trying to get Christmas stuffed back into the attic (a bit nostalgic missing my Mom...and my Dad). The girls are restless, the hubs is working yet another weekend... Need I say more? Good. Because I try not to excuse myself from life. So why this paragraph? Because I want you to know that you are not alone. Temptations and pressure will come begging you to give in. But there is a way to beat it...

It's all in the mind. Prepare mentally for the day as much as you do physically. If I had started my day with a mental workout, a little reading/prayer, it may have been a better day. It's ALL mental!

And another thing! what if? my twisted little subconscious tried reward itself for actually shrinking this week... This is a VERY lame but reoccurring affect in the female journey. Don't fall into this trap.

Note to self: Just because you reached a goal doesn't mean it's time for a treat... Especially the first week! So I dropped a pound or two. Big whoop. High five the mirror and move on!

I am picking myself up and starting the day over. Right now. 2pm

On a side note...
Here's a little bit of sunshine in my storm of a morning.... Ms. Prissy joined mommy in the fitness groove. How cute is this? (and yes, I know, my girls never wear clothes)

Raw determination

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 02:06:00 +0000

So as the second day of my little (ok huge) quest comes to a close, I am happy to say that I have met today's goals: no caffeine, no sweets (duh), drink a lot of water & work out at least 30 minutes! Oh, and I "got dressed" today, even fixed my hair.

After replacing the Dr. Pepper for water and drinking what seemed to be my weight in it, I feel great! Had a little headache, ok a big one, from lack of coffee...oh how I miss my creme brûlée creamer! But I am determined to do this!!!

I am using the "my fitness pal" app to track calories and workouts. One key thing to remember is if you are wanting to shrink, don't eat the "workout calories"! Example: if your caloric goal is 1200 calories and you burn 250 during your workout... The app will give you that 250 on top of the 1200. BUT DON'T EAT THEM!! Stick to the 1200 limit and let your body burn the fat!!!

Hope you got up and moved a little today. It felt great to get back in the groove... Think I'm gonna like shrinking! As long as I can stay strong!! Thanks for helping - leave me a comment and let me know how you are doing or share a little support! Happy Healthy!

(I bought the arm band for my workouts with music... The motivational girly pic was a bonus, lol)

Raw confession

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 18:45:00 +0000

Ok, so I'm finally going public. I am overweight.

If you just giggled, good! Because starting today, I could use your humor to get through the awkward moments of putting myself out there... Accountable to you.
All six of you.

I have failed in the past three years to actually stay consistent and whip my 5ft frame back into shape. If i had just done it right after baby, it would have been so much easier. I could list the excuses and reasons that have contributed to this, but bottom line is.... It's all on me.

Every day I think about it. Every morning I wake up determined to do better. Some days I do. Most I do not. Being a stay at home mommy makes it tricky being that most days my wardrobe consists of PJ's or leggings, no make up and shirts with paint all over them!

Although i see being 20+ too big as a major issue, it gets old to be thought of as "not" having weight issues because I have a small frame. Thankfully, this is not an internal problem. I have a wonderful husband who is not only patient and understanding, but also very supportive.

So, I am starting with our daily routine. We are pretty scheduled with home and homeschool. Now I'm applying it to my personal appearance. Each morning, I am going to "get ready". Just as if I was going out, I will BE for myself and my family what I would attempt to be for society (Old timers would call this "gettin done up"). And that's just what I'm going to do. Because WHO I see in the mirror is going to gauge HOW I see myself. And act accordingly.

So there. I am transparent. No pictures yet. I have before pics, but hey, this post was hard enough. Not going to make it harder... Yet.

Baby steps! Happy New Year!

Winter is here

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 00:54:00 +0000

This week, between Christmas and New Years, is the laziest week for me. Why you ask? Simple. Winter has arrived in a frenzy of ice, snow and temps barely above freezing... And that's in the afternoon! Add that to the never ending supply of green and red caramel Hershey kisses and you can imagine my dilemma! I haven't wanted to get out of my pajamas for days!

Being a true Southern girl, I'm still adjusting to actually putting my flip flops in the attic til Spring. Where I grew up you had a slight chance of wearing them with shorts and a long sleeve shirt to Christmas dinner.

So as I sit tonight, watching Stuart Little with the girls, I contemplate the necessity of actually getting up. not quite.

After all, it isn't January 1st yet, is it? That's when the resolutions begin... And I'm convinced they stem from the lazy days between Christmas and the New Year!!

Happy nothing-ness to all and to all a slow night!

Are you nuts about Christmas?

noreply@blogger.com (Jme Harris) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 08:36:00 +0000

During this season, society gets nuts. Frantic nuts.
Some worrying over who's keeping Christ in Christmas...
Others forgetting this aspect of the word all together. It doesn't have to be an either/or scenario.

Dad 'wearing'
his Christmas lights

My Dad was one of the most consciously minded individuals I know when it came to Christ. It was at the forefront of his mind and conversation daily. But he also was the most fun at Christmas. He loved decorating the yard with blowup snowmen. He bought goofy stuff (like twinkies and redneck gifts). He loved the sights and sounds of the season...He loved it all!

My awareness of Christ recurs daily. Yes daily. Therefore I choose to follow my Dad's example and enjoy the many traditions of the season without guilt that we are leaving Christ out.

From my love of holiday movies to hours of shopping and Starbucks; reading the true story of the Saint we now call Santa and answering 100 little girl questions about Jesus as a baby...this can all be done with a conscious awareness of Who saved me and Who keeps me.

My point? Enjoy this season. ALL of it. Unlock the magic of the season while you honor your Savior. Stocking stuffers, the bright Star, Frosty, the tree, Rudolph AND baby Jesus. It's all about balance.

It wouldn't hurt to study the origins of Christmas trees, stockings and Saint Nicolas. Brush up on your knowledge of the birth of Christ (the symbolism and use for the gifts of the Magi is interesting). And when it comes to the non-biblical aspects of this season, judge for yourself what is good and healthy for your family.

As with anything else, and for those who know me well, life is about consistency and balance. Moderate your tasks with a little dancing. I highly recommend singing along to "Sisters" as Bing and Danny show you how to have a little fun. And give thanks to the Lord for the ability to dance!

Faith, family and a generous spirit. Choose what matters.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.