Life As Wife

A New Day, A Fresh Start

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 05:09:00 +0000

I had allotted myself a week: to grieve, to question. It was time for a decision. Little man was depending on me and I had already wasted too much time. I wished I could stay in bed with the covers over my head but that was not an option. I wish a lot of things lately.

I packed up my car for the second time in two weeks. The road was my shoulder to cry on, the wind was a listening ear.

Mile after mile was clocked, Jackson's snores kept my thoughts company from the back seat.

The Chicago skyline glistened in the sunrise, my fears knotted in my gut.

A new day.

A fresh start.

Hopefully, the right one.

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Jackson and I have arrived safely to the Chicago area to stay with my dad. You all have no idea how much your supportive words and messages have meant to me. I have no way to know when I will be able to post but I hope to use this space for healing (and soon!)

The End of A Chapter

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Sun, 08 Jul 2012 02:11:00 +0000

The day was full of boxes and masking tape but for the first time packing was separate, each of us sorting what was ours.

Neither of us are people that give up but we knew a chapter had closed; we both wanted to be able to remember our story fondly so "the end" seemed appropriate. Anger, hurt, resentment. It's all there but unimportant for the time being.

I used to think we were living on love but love is not always enough. I would give anything if it was.

"I love you guys," he said one last time before he turned to leave. My tears blurred his red face from my vision.

The door shut and I whispered, "I wish it was enough."

Just like that - it was over.

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This will be my last post for a while. I need to figure out how to balance providing for my son with picking up the pieces of my heart. Please check in - I'll be poking in around Twitter and Facebook when I can.

Thank you for your support and friendship.

God's Water

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Sometimes you just have to find a shaded tree to plant your blanket,

let the toddler drink a sugary juice box,

and swim in God's water.

We're marking things off our Family Summer of Fun list. Take a look!

Faults

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 10:00:00 +0000

My dog's barks and constant scratches at the patio door echo through the hallway.

"Mojo shutup! Stop barking!" All he wanted was to let me know that the neighbor was home and I yelled at him instead.

My son's whine escapes his lips in between grunts. His arms are stretched up high; he is trying to reach something.

"Jackson please stop whining, I can't take it." All he needed was a little hand and I belitted him instead.

My husband stops his story to ask me if I have been listening. He repeats his question three times before I answer.

"Kris can this wait?" All he wanted was to talk with me and I ignored him.

It is something about myself I don't like very much and every time I catch myself doing it I get angrier - at myself, at the situation.

When I am stressed or trying to work through a problem I shut down. I can't function and my daily life gets under my skin. What little patience I have on a good day is completly gone on a bad day.

I am vacant, a shell. Not present for the ones I love.

And I hate it.
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As always Shell, the blogger behind Things I Can't Say, lets me pour my heart out.

Skipping Turds Instead of Rocks

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 03:10:00 +0000

Surprisingly everyone survived the family reunion this weekend. I mention survival not because of the family aspect but because of the heat. It was 108 degrees. It was outside.

Although there are a ton of great mushy, family stories I could tell - we all know I am not above telling a good poop story.

The family was dressed for the occasion and after all the pictures were taken and I was satisfied with how we stacked up for the upcoming year's family gossip- I gave the ok for little man to change into his swimming trunks and hit the river.

The reason is debatable - it was too hot to make Jackson endure the hassle of a diaper under his trunks, I forgot swim diapers, I was lazy - but Jackson got to run most of the afternoon sans diaper.

Normally this is not that big of a deal. The kid tinkles a little in the lake? So what. But when Jackson let a tennis ball-sized turd go, I knew we were in trouble. Instinct immediately told me to leave the picnic area and head for water. I grabbed the diaper bag and ran for it.

Where did the turd end up? I'll let you guess but dang it, I had to save his adorable swimming trunks!

No wonder I am always grossed out by natural bodies of water.

When I wasn't skipping turds across the water, we were sharing juice boxes with cousins and watching kayakers on the rapids.

According to Kris

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Some of the best candids from our every day life are captured by my husband. Sadly, most go unseen! Thanks to Julie and Greta I now have a reason each week to demand that Kris cleans out his iPhone.

A Boy and His Pool: A Bedtime Story

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 10:00:00 +0000

He is fresh out of the bath, the wrinkles on his feet act as proof. But still - his nose is pushed up against the sliding glass door that leads to the porch.

"Mama."

I hear his finger knock against the glass. He is pointing, showing me where his pool and water toys await for another day.

Bedtime is just around the corner but the sunshine is supporting little man's want to revisit his splash pad.

"Mama."

I try and coax him into the nursery so we can start the routine: lotion, pajamas, milk, tooth brush, books. He takes my hand and walks me to the porch. His finger makes a ting on the glass as he points to his pool.

"Mama."

I sigh and push back the blinds, letting Jackson run out to his pool. My toddler could live in the water and at 7:00 p.m. the temperature is still record breaking.

Hot enough that it calls for another round in the pool and a Popsicle - even if it is past bedtime and we have already had a bath.

Family Summer of Fun: Farmer's Market & Splash Park

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 04:00:00 +0000

It was the day of no naps - as is evident from the look on little man's face - but we were determined to start on our Family Summer of Fun list by hitting the farmer's market and the splash park.

Our beverages of choice at the local farmer's market may have not been kid-friendly, but Kris and I enjoyed sampling local brews while Jackson lounged in his stroller, watching all of the booths roll by. Some locals were picking away on various string instruments and the people watching made up for the fact that we had missed the BBQ sampling.

We decided to ignore the fact that what we had just spent on three beers could have bought us a 12 pack of good ole' Bud Light. After all, it was more about the experience, right?

The splash park was the perfect way to make it up to Jackson for the stroller confinement and crowds at the market. He ran for a good hour - smacking each squirt of water before it could spray him. His mind was blown and he even convinced Dada to get in.

An entire day of family fun for the price of three beers. That is a win in my book!

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Make sure to check out the other posts from our family summer of fun!

My Life.

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 04:06:00 +0000

Ever feel like you're being kicked when you're down? Kris and I are decent people I like to think; however, the odds seem stacked against us right now. Nothing alarming or anything I am ready to share at this moment but let us just say that things are stressful over at the Life As Wife household.

Luckily my little family is everything. I make no qualms about it - my son and husband come first without apologies. I'm washing my hands of any hatefulness in our lives.

For now - this little face is pushing me forward.

What pushes you forward when you're having a hard time?

Father's Day Two Days Late

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 02:53:00 +0000

It is appropriate that this Father's Day themed post is now two days later than the designated write about how great of a dad your husband is post. We march to the beat of our own drum around here and quite frankly - I don't want to tell the world how great of a dad my husband is on the same day that everyone else does.

Kris? Deserves his own day. Any day will do. In fact, a random day is better! People should be celebrated on days that they least expect it.

On this day, I poke my head around the bathroom door to witness the giggles erupting over running water. We have recently introduced little man to a tooth brush, a chore in my eyes that Kris quickly turns into a great adventure. So much in fact that I secretly wish that I hadn't volunteered to clean up breakfast.

Jackson's watchful stare mimics everything Dada does with extreme precession. They are both rhythmic in their movements, a true mirror of each other in every sense of the word.

A smile and a ruffle of his hair is all the approval he needs if it comes from his Dada. I turn back toward the kitchen as I hear "Good job son."

The celebration of fatherhood? Deserves acknowledgement in those tiny moments - moments so wrapped in simplicity that they ooze perfection.

So I am wishing Kris happy Father's Day today, two days late. Because he is special every day.

Life Lately

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 23:59:00 +0000

Jackson got his first not-done-by-mama haircut and he was amazingly angelic. If only he was like that around 4 p.m. every day.

We woke up early to meet friends for breakfast as they drove past our town.

Clearly, Jackson was so excited to meet Bobby and Lacey that we were not driving fast enough for his taste and he tried to take over.

After almost three years - Kris' fraternity brother Bobby got to meet Jackson.

(He normally doesn't look like that - he had just left Bonaroo Music Festival hence the mustache.)

We also apparently now have a teenager not a 15-month-old. Little man's newest thing? Raising hell if he has to sit in his high chair. So, he eats at the table like a big boy. Blows. My. Mind.

Oh - and this happened. Anyone have a vehicle for sale?

Sledding

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Mon, 11 Jun 2012 10:00:00 +0000

I hadn't been to see my mom in over a week and I felt terrible. This weekend I made it a point to spend some time with her and I plan to take her to see Rock of Ages when it comes out next weekend. She loves that type of music and we both enjoy musicals.

Why was it so hard to go visit her lately?

My mom recently had a scary fall and since then has lost her confidence. She has slowly become more lost inside herself - her speech, moment and reactions are worse. It is heartbreaking.

She seems to be sledding. She was on a plateau - balancing on her sled nicely. Suddenly, it is like she leaned forward and shot off down the hill. The scary part is we don't know how steep the hill is or how fast the sled is going or will go.

But progression? It is happening.

I love the snow but I hope her sled ride is a long one.

If I Could Turn Back Time

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 10:00:00 +0000

It hasn't been that long since I was 18.

Six years. That is it.

So much has happened in that six years though and every road I have traveled loops back to that time one way or another.

Will you come read my letter to my 18-year-old self over at Chosen Chaos?

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Have you entered the giveaways for my #BlogBash yet? Three different prizes, three winners!

Blog Bash, Part III

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 04:00:00 +0000

Oh highs and lows - I have had both since starting this journey with my blog. I have shared my lows with you all but I also have experienced many, many positive things.

Like being the featured blogger for a community of over 40,000 women. That feature eventually led to my being a forum lead and blog contributor for the SITS Girls. Connections are an amazing thing.

But not everything goes as planned. I recently entered my writing into a blogging contest to win an amazing conference sponsorship. I was not selected and was pretty upset. However everything happens for a reason and I created an amazing contact (and met a great friend!) by entering that contest.

The final item in my Blog Bash celebration is a prize pack from Brica. The amazing company that I have had the pleasure of getting to know thanks to something I thought was a failure. This Parent on the Go prize pack is to remind you all to keep going after your dreams - and always pick yourself back up.

Brica | Facebook | Twitter

To enter to win the Brica Phone Pod and Fold and Go Travel Booster simply use the Rafflecopter form below to like Brica on Twitter. For extra entries you can tweet this giveaway.

a'>http://www.rafflecopter.com">a Rafflecopter giveaway

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This giveaway is a part of my #BlogBash celebration for my two year blog anniversary. Thank you for sharing in our adventures, cheers!

Special thanks to Brica for parterning with me and supplying this amazing prize!

Make sure to check out Blog Bash Part I and Part II for the chance to win other great prizes!

Blog Bash, Part II

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 10:00:00 +0000

A common theme that I have noticed throughout the blogging community is that most of us (especially moms) don't take enough time to do nice things for ourselves. We are so busy taking care of our children, homes and husbands that we spend way too much time in yoga pants. (Wait, is that just me?) I know I always tend to look forward to my birthday and special occasions because they can quickly become the best days ever!

While there is nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home-mom, I love seeing other women branch out, start their own businesses, keep working and still cultivate those important relationships. So, for Part II of Blog Bash I am teaming up with Brittany and her amazing shop Peas and Carrots for an accessory themed prize.

Peas and Carrots Shop | Twitter | Facebook | Blog

One lucky reader will win a one month membership to The 'N' List - a membership based, monthly gift box of goodies from Peas and Carrots shop. (Think Birch box but necklaces, bows, wreaths, and the like!) The winner will have the option to customize their membership for boys, ladies, girls or a combination of any for their items.

All you have to do is tell me what Life As Wife post is your favorite (feel free to leave a link!) For an additional entry you can share the news on Twitter. Fill out the Rafflecopter form below!
a'>http://www.rafflecopter.com">a Rafflecopter giveaway

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This giveaway is a part of my #BlogBash celebration for my two year blog anniversary. Thank you for sharing in our adventures, cheers!

Special thanks to Naturally Estes' Shop Peas and Carrots for partnering with me and supplying this amazing prize!

Make sure to check out Blog Bash, Part I for another chance to win.

Blog Bash, Part I

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 10:00:00 +0000

When I first started blogging it was strictly for me, about me.

My family.

My place to vent.

My creative outlet.

My writing.

Mine. Me.

Then I discovered the support that is the blogging community and realized it is about way more than me. Yes Life As Wife is still my space but some of my favorite post have been inspired by other great bloggers and this community. It really is about US.

Like this post where I struggled with the perception others had of me as a mother. Or when I talked about being both the new me and old me. I have learned a lot of things along the way too.

So on my two year blogging anniversary, I am giving back. To you, the readers and other bloggers, who have supported me on this crazy adventure. Starting with a custom blog design from Kimberly Muro Design so you can join this amazing community too!

Kimberly Muro Design | Twitter | Facebook

One lucky reader will win: a custom header, custom coordinating background, custom blog button with grab code box, social media icons (RSS, Twitter, Facebook, Email, Pinterest, and up to 3 additional), post signature, favicon, sidebar titles, branded Twitter background and Facebook branded cover photo. That is a $245 value!

All you have to do is tell me what Life As Wife post is your favorite (feel free to leave a link!) For an additional entry you can share the news on Twitter. Fill out the Rafflecopter form below!
a'>http://www.rafflecopter.com">a Rafflecopter giveaway

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This giveaway is a part of my #BlogBash celebration for my two year blog anniversary. Thank you for sharing in our adventures, cheers!

Special thanks to Kimberly Muro Design for partnering with me and supplying this amazing prize!

Working Mama and Traveling Toddler

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Thu, 31 May 2012 15:20:00 +0000

This is my current view.

I walked the two glorious blocks from Chattanooga Magazine to the Downtown Public Library while I wait for the next issue to come off of the press.

Wait a second Samantha - I thought you were a stay-at-home-mama?

Well yes, I am. But today?

Today I am a freelance copy editor at my old stomping grounds; Little man and Kris are on their way to the Atlanta Airport to spend the weekend in Arkansas.

I may or may not have cried when I dropped them off. Jackson has never flown before and this will be the longest I have ever been away from him. I am so nervous that I can't even concentrate on the fact that I have three days to myself.

I am taking bets on long it will be until I get bored. If you want to follow along with the adventure check out #ToddlerTrip on Twitter!

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Next week is Life As Wife's two year blogging anniversary. Make sure you stop by - I have a huge celebration planned with special prizes for YOU!

Wordless Wednesday: Holiday Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Wed, 30 May 2012 10:00:00 +0000

No holiday weekend is complete without a splash.

Or a movie date night with a little intruder.

Anyone else have a little sweet talker when they don't want to go to sleep?

It Just Clicked

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Tue, 29 May 2012 00:09:00 +0000

Yesterday my little brother became a dad.

My little brother -

Who used to ram his head into walls when he didn't get his way.

Who has had more stitches than I even care to count.

Who doesn't know how to balance a checkbook.

Who lives across the country, away from family.

Who is a newlywed.
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I am the complete opposite of my little brother.

When I found out I was expecting, I immediately began preparing. I read every book, discussed all possible birth options with my husband and began decorating a nursery.
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I have learned that nothing prepares you for parenthood; almost everything I do as a mama - I do based on instinct. My world clicked into place when my husband handed me our son.

Nothing prepares you for parenthood.

Except this:

Peyton. 6 lbs, 2 ozs, 19 inches long

Congratulations to my brother and sister-in-law, Robert and Amber, on the arrival of their daughter! I know it will all "click" for you!

It's Funny, This Marriage Thing

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Fri, 25 May 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Life's Lessons brought to you by my marriage this week!

1. Loving Kris has always been effortless. He is my best friend and we have literally scraped each other up from the bottom of the barrel a few times in our eight years together.

2. To say that we are perfect would be a lie. Perfect? No. Dedicated? Yes. Willing to work? Yes.

3. Recently we experienced our first bump in the road so to speak. We have argued before but never fought over deception or other legitimate issues.

4. So many webs had been weaved that I don't even remember where it began.

5. I remember my anger though - burning white like hot iron - blinding my ability to reason.

6. My anger delivered like a hammer striking again and again. What happened? What didn't you tell me?

7. I am nothing short of relentless when I am trying to get to the bottom of something.

8. And Kris? He tends to bottle everything not wanting to burden anyone.

9. Surprisingly all I needed to hear to extinguish the fire was the truth and all Kris needed was trust.

10. It's funny - this marriage thing.

How did you handle your first real argument with someone you love?

Unconventional Picnic

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Wed, 23 May 2012 10:00:00 +0000

There wasn't a wooden basket or a red and white, plaid blanket but it was picturesque just the same.

I have dubbed this summer the Family Summer of Fun. Follow along with out adventures!

Fifteen Months

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Tue, 22 May 2012 00:47:00 +0000

Fifteen months have come and gone.

You were slow to walk but now run everywhere you go.

You throw temper tantrums with the best of them, always ready to voice your opinion and show your free spirit.

You can say a handful of words and sign even better: more, eat, bath, walk, milk, sleep. Dada and I are proud of all the little tricks we have taught you, asking you at every turn where is Jackson's nose? (eyes? ears? mouth? bellybutton?) You love the limelight and are always happy to perform.

You are a book worm like your Mama. The way you drag a book to the nearest lap and back up - booty first - to sit and be read to makes me smile.

Your favorite game of chase can become deadly when you are pushing your cart. You like to run over anything in your path and shriek hysterically when we dive out of the way or when the dogs jump onto the couch to escape.

You have to do everything yourself and almost refuse to eat unless you have utensils. You love the water - any body of water is fair game to splash.

Fifteen months have come and gone.

But at the end of the day - when you are finally lost in your dreams, sucking your thumb under the watchful eye of your stuffed owl - you still look every bit of 7 lbs, 6 ozs.

Waiting to Be Called

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Wed, 16 May 2012 03:56:00 +0000

Disappointment is such a terrible feeling.

The last time I was disappointed I was a senior in high school. A name had just been called for homecoming queen. Not my name.

I was left standing in the middle of the gym floor, wondering why I wasn't good enough.

Don't get me wrong; I am not a sore loser. I was genuinely happy for the winner.

But? There are only so many times you can be left waiting for your name to be called before you start questioning yourself.

Why am I here?

What did I do wrong?

Why am I not good enough?

I pride myself in being a go-getter. I usually have no problem picking myself up when I fall.

But? Dusting the dirt off of yourself gets old.

I am just kicking dirt, waiting for my name to be called.

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Linking up with Pour Your Heart Out.

Family Summer of Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Fri, 11 May 2012 00:55:00 +0000

Kris, Jackson and I have been a family of three for one year and 15 months. In that time period we have been alone - just the three of us - for four months. My brother-in-law lived with us and my mom.

There was nothing wrong with either of those situations; however, with summer approaching there is no better time than now to focus on our family - just the three of us. We live in an amazing outdoor-friendly town and I want to take advantage.

So, I declare this summer the Family Summer of Fun. The goal?

To reconnect.

To let Jackson experience new things.

To enjoy the sunshine.

To enjoy each other.

To have fun.

So, what am I missing? What is your favorite summer activity?

Wordless Wednesday: Wedding Shower Bliss

noreply@blogger.com (Life As Wife) — Wed, 09 May 2012 10:00:00 +0000

What I wore.

Who we celebrated.

What we gave.